Category: Self Development

Recognition, Good Deeds, and What It All Means

Posted on by Ming Poon

“In some ways, recognition can be a powerful thing.” – Florence Ng

 

Florence Ng (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

In a second year philosophy class I took many years ago, there was an ongoing debate on whether or not Mother Teresa was an inherently selfish person despite all of her good deeds. After all, didn’t she do good deeds for her own satisfaction? The issue on the table was altruism—is there such a thing as true altruism? Particularly with someone as well known as Mother Teresa, wouldn’t such recognition be inherently selfish? More importantly, does intention even matter when it comes to good deeds? 

 

I posit these questions because our world needs good people doing good deeds. But what does that mean? Perhaps more so than any other point in history due to the wealth of information at our fingertips, we are all riding a delicate tension between hope and helplessness, somewhere on the spectrum of misanthropy and love for humanity. Good deeds feel like a stepping stone for celebrity and corporate clout while activists, advocates, organisers, etc. largely carry on with their lives in obscurity. Does this mean that recognition or the desire for recognition is selfish or evil? Where, then, does obtaining recognition with the hope to inspire fall? What about the privilege of having the resources and/or capacity to carry out good deeds in the first place?

 

Perhaps such philosophical questions are moot. At the core of it, goodness is not an intellectual pursuit, but a series of actions and ideals shaped by experiences, values, identity, and community. Such actions and ideals are often upheld by specific communities, and interpreting, in my opinion, what the human experience is about. In this way, recognizing perceived goodness is no small thing. When we encourage, validate, and give respect to an individual for their good deeds, we as communities are encouraging more of it. In some ways, recognition can be a powerful thing. 

 

For example, if a person publicly says something hateful to a minority group, it isn’t uncommon to hear of backlash escalating into death threats. In this case, can the individuals threatening harm on a person be considered doing a good deed? What if that minority group is a threatening force advocating violence? Can the speaker be considered doing a good deed? 

 

In a world where many feel isolated, it can be difficult to interpret what good means, especially in a place and time where so many conflicting depictions of good and evil abound. It may be difficult to hear yourself in a sea of loud voices. I don’t have a solution for this. Instead, I present my own beliefs on the topic: 

 

  1. Actions that exhibit kindness, compassion, and the willingness to understand another’s perspective should be recognized, reinforced and perhaps even publicised to encourage others.
  2. Good and bad deeds do not define you, but how you perceive your actions can impact how you view yourself, especially if your definition of good does not align with others. Often, this could wear you down physically and/or emotionally. 
  3. Accountability is one of the most underrated forms of goodness. It is a recognition that one’s own actions have hurt people, and steps are being taken to reconcile and heal. When publicised, however, it can often appear disingenuous. 
  4. There are no real heroes in any story and the idea of a good person is a myth when we examine the same characters from a different angle. 
  5. Not everyone has the capacity to do good deeds or work toward a greater, collective good. We live among many oppressive systems designed to make this difficult.
  6. We are all just trying our best every day in the only ways we know how. 

 

None of the beliefs I listed are without their own tensions. There are certainly days where some beliefs are louder than others. Even so, many or all of these beliefs can be true at once in this incredibly nuanced world. Ultimately, the unsatisfying answer to it all is that it’s up to the individual to decide how to recognize and encourage the good you want to see in the world and hope that the rest of the world will follow. 

 

—

 

Hello! My name is Florence, and I’m an educator, storyteller, traveller, avid board game collector and curious, lifelong learner, among many other things. I’m passionate about human connection and mental well-being, and I love meeting new people! 



The Value of Recognition and Appreciation

Posted on by Ming Poon

“We all need to be recognized for the successes we achieve and the work we put into what we value as recognition and appreciation are large factors to our growth” – Hailee Piendl

 

Hailee Piendl (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Why do we strive for recognition and appreciation?

 

“The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated” – William James. We all need to be recognized for the successes we achieve and the work we put into what we value as recognition and appreciation are large factors to our growth. It is a part of being human and a motivator for almost everyone. We strive for a “job well done” as it fuels the work we put in at our jobs, our relationships, and how we value ourselves.

 

The value of recognition in the workplace

There is a reason one may see a picture framed on the wall of their workplace that reads “employee of the month”. Incentives for employees to do their best and show impeccable customer service is to be recognized by their co-workers that they are “the best” of the month. 

My first job I ever had was at a pet store for minimum wage (shocker) and getting my first raise and being given the responsibility of managing the store was a huge accomplishment. That incentive gave me a boost of confidence in myself and in turn, I became more attentive and did an even better job at work. Hard work pays off after all! 

I believe giving incentives to employees is a great way to grow a company and those who are a part of it. Being praised for a job well done and a plaque to prove it grows one’s confidence and drive to be better, leading to a greater career and overall success of a company. We strive for recognition and appreciation in the workplace to feel respected by a community we value the opinions of.

 

Appreciation in relationships

Studies have proven appreciation and gratitude to be contributing factors to the success of one’s relationship. Whether it be with a spouse or family member, selfless deeds we do for one another would not continue if we did not get recognition for them. Why? Because it is a basic need to feel appreciated in a relationship. 

Many of my romantic relationships have ended because one of us felt invalidated in what we were giving to the relationship. The teeter totter of appreciation was tipped too far to one side and when love isn’t enough, what’s the point of being with someone who doesn’t value you? 

We need recognition to feel loved, to be seen by the one person we love the most. Oftentimes their opinion is the one we value most of all. Therefore, we seek their approval. One of the most common complaints from couples in a committed relationship is “He/she just doesn’t appreciate me”. Thus, they end up in couple’s therapy trying to figure out the underlying issue when a simple “Thank you, dear” would have gone a long way. Knowing it is a part of human psychology to be appreciated would improve relationships. 

 

Our beliefs and how we value ourselves

This is a tricky one, sometimes seen as self centered or selfish but don’t be mistaken. 

Selfishness is defined as: “lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure.” Viewing ourselves in a high regard and believing we are worthy is one of the common qualities of highly successful people. It is not selfish. 

I believe viewing yourself in the highest regard is one of the greatest forms of self-love you can give yourself. The previous forms of validations above are through external sources. However, real success comes from the internal knowing we are worthy of success and love. 

If you don’t have the skill to validate yourself, one will eventually be starved of the external validation we need to be confident and go after our goals. 

 

In conclusion

We all need validation and appreciation because it is a basic need for humans. We gain that validation through external sources such as the community at our workplace and the relationships we share with others. Additionally, we need validation from ourselves to ultimately sustain confidence in ourselves and reach our goals.

 

—

My name is Hailee and I have an unbreakable passion for health, wellness, and writing! I started blogging not too long ago and have since enjoyed every second of it. I write fitness and nutrition based articles over on my website www.youngandwyld.com. I am also a bookkeeper by day and online CPT by night who loves to help people achieve their goals while enjoying the process every step of the way:)

The Solace in Words

Posted on by andrew

Bethany Howell (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

COVID-19 stole many things from us. From the great importance of face-to-face contact with loved ones to the simple pleasure of going to the local library, many activities once commonplace were taken away this past year. Even with all of these sacrifices, I would say my greatest personal loss was the beauty of possibility.

 

I had lost my chance to meet an old friend at a café, to discover a new passion roaming the paths of a festival, to find the love of my life walking to my next class. We all know the old adage “you don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone,” and yet I never truly felt it until I lost my ability to fantasize about possibilities. I realized quite quickly that I relied on this romanticization of day-to-day life to feel good about myself and my place in the world. I also realized that, with these moments now taken away from me, I would have trouble gaining happiness. 

 

Not only had COVID-19 stolen my life, it had also stolen my hope. 

 

Sometime, after months of – in all honesty – doing nothing productive and wallowing in my own grief, I came to realize that something must change; I had to seize my own form of hope from the world around me, no matter how bleak it appeared through the lens of my depression. I had to find something – anything – that would bring me joy. 

 

This is when I discovered writing. It started out with a few simple poems jotted down in a notes app about what I missed pre-pandemic. This small creative outlet quickly grew to a revival of an old blog account where I could post the emotions I was finally able to put into words. I began to post not just about my life, but also my past. I wrote some poems that I would happily show my parents and others about personal topics that still stung to the touch. No matter what, I wrote poems that I was proud of above all else. 

 

In the middle of 2021, over a year since what I refer to as “The Great Loss of Hope,” I applied for a blog-writing position at Low Entropy. I knew that, if I got in, it would give me the chance to share my writing and, hopefully, use it to help others. I jumped at the chance, eagerly and with the gusto of a child. As you can probably guess, I did end up becoming part of the Low Entropy team. 

 

Many people say that the most difficult part of writing is starting, and I fully agree. That blank page can be daunting, especially when all you allow yourself to create is perfection. Through writing, I discovered how my perfectionistic tendencies have stifled my creativity. My ability to express myself has always been guarded behind those high walls of self-protective instinct, and it took months of private writing to finally break through. 

 

Though I can proudly say that now I am able to write freely, that was not always the case. One small thing I can thank COVID-19 for is giving me the time to experiment freely with myself and my writing; I guess that proves that even the biggest challenges can be used for good.

 

I cannot, in good conscience, say that writing completely solved my problems, as I still find myself reminiscing on the past instead of living in the moment; however, I can say that it has helped me finally defeat my fear of failure and that, in itself, has brought me a new form of hope. I now have a healthy hope for my future with writing and a hope for my future with Low Entropy. 

 

This post is not meant to be an advertisement to write, nor is it a statement about the therapeutic benefit of creativity (though I can vouch for it!). I have written this as proof to you – and myself – that there is a bit of light at the end of every tunnel, no matter how long and dark it seems. 

 

None of us could have predicted any of this at the start of 2020 and, though it has been quite the ride, I am glad to say that we have made it through and that right there is something of which to be proud.

 

—

 

My name is Bethany Howell and I am a third-year university student majoring in psychology and minoring in family and child studies. I have a passion for writing and mental health and my ultimate goal since age 13 has been to make a difference in the world through helping others, which is how I ended up here at Low Entropy!

Starting Small

Posted on by andrew

Jihu Lee (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Can you think of any skills or abilities you acquired during childhood that are now second nature to you? Perhaps developing a love for a food you used to hate or learning a second language that you are now fluent in. You probably didn’t notice much progress until a sufficient amount of time had passed. Change accrues over time and takes patience, whether we are trying to become skilled at a hobby, see gym results or pull ourselves out of a dark place. 

 

We sometimes can’t help but wish for instant gratification, so we’re often reluctant to start something at all. But starting somewhere, no matter how far of a shot in the dark, will eventually lead us to our goal point. In the 1980s researchers identified six stages of change, the first of which is mere precontemplation, where people have no intention whatsoever of changing their behavior or lifestyle. This should indicate that even the smallest of steps counts as a move towards change, no matter how unproductive they may seem. It may feel daunting to take a step out of our comfort zones, until we start to see our hard work pay off. But keep in mind that taking initiative puts you further along the way than if you had done nothing at all, even if the beginning looks unpromising. 

 

Another key point to staying on track towards change is to be consistent with our efforts. During times when everything seems stagnant, rest assured progress is slowly happening. Imagine a leaky tap dripping water into a bucket. Initially, you might think it will take an eternity before that bucket fills up. But be patient and the water will rise to the brim before you know it. 

 

Most importantly, we need to be self-aware and hopeful during our journey towards our dreams. Doing the same thing over and over won’t produce different results. That isn’t what consistent effort entails. Instead, we must push ourselves to be cognizant of where we can improve and to stay humble so that we don’t let a milestone get to our heads. Similarly, we have the right to give ourselves credit for the work we are putting in. Just because change isn’t immediately visible doesn’t mean your efforts are all for naught. Rebecca Solnit’s take on being hopeful is that it is the balance between optimism – the belief that everything will be fine without taking responsibility – and pessimism – the belief that everything will end up in ruins no matter what. Between these hot and cold endpoints is the gradient of uncertainty where it is up to us to take action. Hope reassures us that no matter what kind of outcome we get, our efforts create the ultimate impact. 

 

Here is what we have discussed so far about working towards change: 

 

  1. Take a step: it doesn’t matter how small or if you’re doubtful of whether or not it’ll be worth it. All you need is to start, and from then on, you’ve already pointed yourself in the direction of change. 

 

  1. Just because you don’t see anything yet doesn’t mean nothing is happening: don’t be discouraged when you can’t see much progress overnight, within a week, over the course of months or even years! Change doesn’t adhere to deadlines, so always remind yourself that every effort you put in will reward you somehow, even if not in the way you’d expect. 

 

  1. Don’t be afraid to evolve: not surprisingly, in order to see change, we must change. This can mean different things for every individual. You might recognize where you lack and intensify your efforts, while another person learns to respect their own boundaries and give themselves the rest they need in order to be more productive. Whatever it takes, we have to evolve if we want to create change in our lives. 

 

  1. There is hope: it is okay if your investments didn’t produce the rewards you wanted. Even if you didn’t fulfill the goal you were aiming for, the experience you acquired in striving to reach it will surely serve you well in another walk of life. 

 

Starting out small can set off a chain reaction of progress. As a final note, I want the reader to remember that everyone lives at a different pace, and a slow journey is never a sign of inadequacy. And it is never too late to try something new as long as

you just start!

 

—

 

My name is Jihu, and I’m from Salt Lake City, Utah! I have been with Low Entropy since May 2021. Some of the things I love are reading, writing, listening to music, playing with my dogs and spending time with my sister!

In the Stars

Posted on by andrew

Jihu Lee (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Over the course of my life so far, I have turned to art to seek out light that could penetrate the darkness that has trapped me. I have been lucky enough to be surrounded by art and creativity growing up. Writing has always been fulfilling for me, and is a refreshing outlet for my thoughts and creative expression. My little sister and I both play instruments, so music has been a significant part of our lives as well. Almost two years ago, I discovered my ability to draw people from photos of them. Even though I don’t draw as often nowadays, I know I can pick up a pencil and paper anytime and draw a sketch of anyone I wish. 

 

My sister discovered her own talents for crocheting and cooking. She can watch tutorials online and replicate them flawlessly. During the pandemic, we cooked and baked a variety of meals and desserts together, from couscous to cinnamon muffins. We made cheesecake three times, none even close to perfection (the second time, my sister forgot to add sugar to the filling), but our time spent baking together on its own makes the experience worthwhile. 

 

In addition to partaking directly in forms of art, I take inspiration from artists, both proximate and on the other side of the world. In November 2020, my sister and I heard BTS’s ‘Dynamite’ in the car and were drawn to the upbeat, vibrant energy of the song. Already we have come a long way from novice K-pop fans to supporting multiple artist groups, each with their own styles and concepts. We grew up speaking Korean with our parents at home, so watching and listening to K-pop content and music while understanding the language strikes a pleasant chord in me. Even though we don’t know any idols personally, the music and comfort they bring with their mere existence explain why millions of people around the world love them the way they do. 

 

Stereotypically, idol groups are said to cater to the demographic of teenage girls. This conception in society harms not only teenage girls, who get mocked for their genuine support of these artists, but fans who are outside of the demographic in question as well. K-pop artists like BTS explore a wide range of topics in their music, including mental health, societal issues and generational pressures. In doing so, they break the barriers of age, gender, race, ethnicity and sexual orientation, and appeal indiscriminately to audiences around the world. 

 

Something about the way millions of people are making Korean music more mainstream in their lives within a largely Western-centric society should indicate that the condescending stereotype of a boy band doesn’t really hold. 

 

Channeling your creativity and inspiration to escape your surroundings and reality is not unproductive. It is essential for most people. While others may find it more efficient to grind for prolonged periods of time, some may need to relieve the pressure before continuing on. I encourage you to keep your imagination alive as a reminder that you’re human after all. 

 

Never be ashamed of finding yourself returning to art if it gives meaning in your life. Keep holding onto whatever inspires your inner creativity, and it does not have to be limited to quintessential activities like drawing, painting or making music. Your love for art isn’t trivial just because you might not turn it into something “practical” that will earn you money. Creativity shouldn’t become a “guilty” pleasure just because society might not let you capitalize on it. 

 

By exploring what you love, you could very well be inspiring those around you to go after what they’re passionate about as well. If someone tells you a certain pastime or an artist has had an unforgettable impact on their life, believe them. In this hectic world where we often lose ourselves, the last thing we should do is put others down for loving something that makes them happy. For me personally, becoming interested in K-pop has helped me reconnect with my heritage, something I suppressed for most of my life because I felt so othered by the mere fact that I could speak Korean. But that is entirely another story of its own. The bottom line is that art in itself is a lifeline, so don’t be afraid to enlighten yourself and fuel your imagination!

 

—

 

My name is Jihu, and I’m from Salt Lake City, Utah! I have been with Low Entropy since May 2021. Some of the things I love are reading, writing, listening to music, playing with my dogs and spending time with my sister! 

Moving Forward

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Regrets . . . we’ve had a few. But, then again . . . Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Julia Magsombol offers some advice on how to get back up and on our way. 

 

Moving forward in our everyday lives wasn’t easy, especially when we have committed many mistakes in the past. We all commit mistakes simply because we are humans. When they become too much to handle, we sometimes get stuck in the past. We can’t move forward anymore. Most of the time, our mistakes from the past control us and our lives in the present, which can negatively affect our future. So how can we move forward in our lives when we’ve made tons of mistakes?

 

I took different courses, such as philosophy, sociology and ethical studies, in university. In those classes, we talked about several topics and issues that covered advice on how to manage ourselves when we’ve committed mistakes from the past and how to avoid them again in the future. I would say that those did not help at all. Besides different professors explaining those lectures in a complicated manner, they sometimes added theories on human minds that I couldn’t grasp. Those classes were interesting, but I did not enjoy them all. After all, how could those professors or philosophers from ancient Greece tell us to manage our lives with complicated theories? Could those life theories and deep vocabularies help us move forward or make better life choices? Maybe, but I didn’t feel like they could. 

 

I’ve made a lot of mistakes in the past, and I still do now. I am a human with flaws, and I am imperfect. I’ve had a lot of failed relationships. Sadly, I’ve also failed in my relationship with myself. Sometimes I still can’t accept my mistakes, and I’m still not healed. I sometimes wake up in the morning thinking if I can still do it. At night, I’ve been an insomniac, unable to sleep. In short, my past mistakes have controlled me and my decision-making. I have regrets, and I wish I could turn back time. I’ve struggled to achieve inner peace. I have difficulty accepting my mistakes, but I’ve figured out coping mechanisms. I’ve numbered all the things I should remember whenever I want to give up because of the mistakes I’ve committed, and here they are:

 

  1. Just cry

Some people think that crying is for the weak, or that crying is for vulnerable people who can’t figure out the solutions to the mistakes they have committed. But so what? We are human beings who feel pain. It is alright to cry and let your emotions out. 

 

  1. Learn from your mistakes 

I know this sounds cliché, but it’s true. As the Mad Hatter from Alice Through the Looking Glass said, “You might not change the past, but you might learn something from it.” We can’t time travel like we see in movies. We can never go back to the time we committed mistakes and avoid them. All we can do is learn from those experiences. 

 

  1. Don’t repeat your mistakes 

Sometimes, when we commit mistakes, we repeat them again. We may never know the real reason, but we shouldn’t commit another mistake that will make us suffer more. It is okay to commit mistakes once in a difficult situation, but not repetitively. 

 

  1. The mistakes you’ve committed don’t define you

Sometimes, we are left with difficult decisions, and we can’t do anything about them. We are just humans who commit mistakes in different situations. We are not perfect, so we shouldn’t let mistakes define who we are and overshadow the goodness in ourselves. 

 

  1. Don’t hurt yourself 

We might blame ourselves for all the mistakes we have made. Sadly, we might get mad and hurt ourselves, both physically and emotionally. It is alright to get mad, but hurting ourselves isn’t right. After all, we only have ourselves in the end. 

 

  1. There’s always tomorrow.

Annie from Annie sings, “The sun will come out tomorrow, so you gotta hang on ‘til tomorrow.” It isn’t easy to move forward, but there’s always tomorrow to do better things, to be the best version of ourselves. We are never too late in life. We are free to live and to do the things we love. Give yourself a chance on your own tomorrow and hang in there. 

 

I haven’t forgotten all the mistakes I’ve committed or moved on from them, but reading this, the advice I’ve created for myself, helps me to cope and, sometimes, to get me on track once again. It isn’t easy to move on forward when you’ve made a lot of mistakes. But keep in mind that it is never impossible to move forward. We can always keep trying.

 

How do you pick yourself up again when you’ve made a mistake? Let us know in the comments below, or talk it through with some supportive peers at a Conscious Connections meeting!

The Art of Resilience

Posted on by andrew

Through the theme of resilience, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Christina Liao finds the link between fantasy and reality.

 

Spoiler alert: this article may contain spoilers for Six of Crows.

 

Six of Crows is a fantasy novel that features six protagonists, and is part of a duology that shows how resilience can get anybody through anything – even raiding a top-level security government building. Chosen as one of Time magazine’s contenders for the top one hundred best fantasy books of all time, it’s a heist story written by Leigh Bardugo, and is inspired by the likes of the film Ocean’s Eleven. It is a contemporary example of resilience in media, and encourages modern-day readers to want to be more like the characters in the book.

 

The characters in Six of Crows all exhibit resilience at some point throughout the series, whether it’s Kaz’s never-ending scheming and conning, Jesper accepting himself and the powers that he has or Inej finding ways to be grateful towards a life that’s been nothing but hardship. It shows that no matter how young, resilience is necessary in order for success. 

 

Of all of the novel’s six protagonists, Matthias Helvar is the most resilient. Not only was he imprisoned in one of the most brutal prisons in a foreign country because of someone he trusted, he also changed his antagonistic world view about Grisha (people who practice magic) throughout the course of the two books, only to die at the end. Matthias is from a country known as Fjerda, and his people actively hunt Grisha because they think that they’re unnatural abominations. After falling in love and pledging his life to the same person he thought betrayed him, however, Matthias had to unlearn years of propaganda from his government and the country that he served and loved. Even as he died, his final wish was for his lover – Nina Zenik – to show mercy to his people, the same people who saw him as a traitor for associating with a Grisha, and the same people who ended up killing him.

 

Matthias is the very image of resilience – even though he died, he stayed resilient to the very end and was the embodiment of honour.

 

In everyday life, resilience can be seen in less dramatic, but equally profound ways. A child falling off their bike and getting up, a student who does not do well on an exam and then proceeds to study harder, or a single parent who continues to go to work even on the worst of days. Resilience is something that everyone has the ability to find inside them, and rise up from hardship, even though it’s difficult.

 

It is because resilience is difficult that it is also so important. A person needs to be resilient if they wish to succeed. Although life can throw curve balls at us and put us in difficult situations, resilience is the key to get us through those tough times. Through art, we can see that it’s an art to be resilient. If everyone engages with this art, our society can only become stronger.

 

Tell us about a time you had to be resilient. Share your stories in the comments below, or in person at a Conscious Connections meeting!

 

Stay-at-Home Schooling

Posted on by andrew

While educational institutions adapted their curriculums to a pandemic reality, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Jihu Lee took some valuable lessons from isolation itself.

 

The world of education during the coronavirus pandemic has shifted impressively to compensate for the loss of conventional learning opportunities. My younger sister, Brooklyn, spent fourth grade fully online. Not surprisingly, there is a growing concern about the impact of increased screen time on the neurological progress of youth around Brooklyn’s age who are still climbing the peak of their developmental stage. My parents themselves have been stressed over Brooklyn’s lengthened time spent on her computer. Meanwhile, I experienced my first year of college online in my home state of Utah. No matter what demographic of students we belong in, I believe we can collectively agree that a pandemic-restricted environment is not conducive to learning. I would like to offer my insight on education during COVID-19 from the standpoint of a college student. 

 

After graduating high school in 2019, I took a gap year to work and travel. By March 2020, our lives detoured in an unexpected direction when COVID-19 began accelerating in the United States. Even still, most of us, if not all, were under the impression that the pandemic would be over by the end of summer 2020. Evidently, that has not been the case. When USC began sending mixed messages regarding plans for a “return” to campus, our unease soared while our hopes and expectations faltered. I tried to keep myself excited about meeting my professors and taking classes that caught my interest. 

 

Now, as I write this, it is June 2021. It is incredibly challenging to accurately put into words what this year had brought for me. As a first-year college student, I was looking forward to taking flight from under my parents’ roof and experience my independence away from home. I wanted to meet a highly diverse student body and share stories with those vastly different from me. So many “should have”s and “could have”s. I have also felt ashamed of the feeling that I was victimizing myself, which fanned the flames of my doubts regarding my level of productivity. But through it all, I learned to regulate my emotions and discipline to feel my best, even if that meant finding a new version of myself to be comfortable with. 

 

This was not the college experience anyone would ever aspire to have, but the growth that took place in me is immeasurable. One particular idea became especially clear: education is far more than sitting in our academic classes. Spending an uncomfortable amount of time by myself has induced four main points of development: 

 

  1. The mortifying ordeal of knowing yourself and its rewards: To improve as a person, we need to know what we lack. Whether that means seeking help to resolve unprocessed trauma or trying to reconnect with our parents, we have to undergo the rite of painful discomfort to bloom again. There is nothing like a pandemic that would force me to be alone more than usual, and it has made me look into who I am, what I need and what I want to change. 

 

  1. Boosting self-discipline and becoming your own cheerleader: The person who is responsible for sending that email or finishing that assignment now instead of three hours later is me. Moreover, when our accomplishments go unnoticed, we reserve the right to acknowledge them and feel proud of ourselves. After all, external noise comes in all forms– validation, disapproval, underestimation – but I have the power to consistently root for myself. 

 

  1. Perspective: I struggle with holding space for my own feelings because I don’t consider them as important as others’ situations around the world. But the knowledge that others “have it worse” should allow us to heighten awareness and empathy rather than invalidate our own experiences. The pandemic has taught me that kindness towards myself not only strengthens me, but also makes me a better empath! We don’t rise by bringing down others, and I seem to have learned that bringing ourselves down doesn’t uplift others the way we think it does either.

 

  1. Realizing how capable you are: Whether you powered through an entire day with your energy at 100% or finished one assignment because of a raging headache, your worth and abilities never wavered and never will. The perfect human condition may not exist, but we don’t need it to prove to ourselves that we are strong. If you fall, it’s okay to crawl for a bit of the way, as long as you rise again. 

 

This is what education was for me during COVID-19. Of course, academics are highly important to me, but there is significant value in what school doesn’t teach us that we can learn for ourselves. My take on education during COVID-19 is less about how to make academics worthwhile on Zoom, but what else we were able to learn about ourselves during such an uncertain period of our lives. We do not have to feel obligated to find a silver lining in every painful lesson of our lives, but I truly believe that we deserve to give ourselves credit where it is more than due.

 

What have you learned during this trying time? Let us know in the comments below or on any of our social media channels!

Anxiety: How I Live with It

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From recognition to management, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Kanak Khatri has had plenty of experience with anxiety disorder, and some advice to share on how to actually create value from it.

 

What is Anxiety Disorder?

 

Some days I realise that I am not going to get a lot of sleep because of a minor occurrence in my life. Other days, my nerves get agitated for seemingly no reason. As much as it is human and totally normal to be anxious, nervous and apprehensive sometimes, some people, like myself, have more pronounced and disproportionate experiences. That is anxiety disorder.

 

How Did I Identify It?

 

I had lived with anxiety disorder for several years before I realized that I needed help. The first step towards managing it was when I identified and accepted that I had anxiety, and now I had to live it. So, how did I identify my anxiety disorder? One effect of my anxiety disorder was its physical symptoms.  Anxiety manifests physically with symptoms like rapid heart rate, sweaty palms, upset stomach, rapid breathing and restlessness. All this was happening from merely thinking about future events like a quiz or an interview, and sometimes for no reason.  I also noticed that my anxiety disorder also affected the relationship that I had with myself. I was trying to be best at everything, and if I wasn’t, I felt shame and guilt. I was exhausted preparing for everything day and night, because nothing seemed good enough. I assumed the worst in every situation; I couldn’t stop the negativity in my train of thought. In addition, when times got tough, I closed off emotionally and avoided any kind of socializing. Although I knew there was something in me that I needed to acknowledge and address, I just did not want to accept it. In retrospect, I realize that if I had addressed it sooner, I’d be even healthier now.

 

How Do I Manage It?

 

Depending on the severity of the anxiety disorder, management may require professional help. This was my case, as it was accentuated by the loss of a close family member. However, many ways in which I manage my anxiety disorder are easy to adopt and adjust. After I identified and acknowledged my anxiety disorder, I started making a list of things that triggered my anxiety. This included deadlines, interviews, doing something new (like starting a new job) and basically most things that involved uncertainty. These triggers caused my mind to overflow with thoughts and what-ifs.

 

Scheduling my daily life and following a routine: Following making the list, I had to manage those things in such a way that they did not give me anxiety. Knowing I had control kept my anxiety in check. The most significant change that helped me was micromanaging my days and knowing the things I would get done each day. I would set reminders in my calendar, so I never missed any important event. For things that required preparation, like an interview, I gave myself plenty of time, so I would not exhaust myself. My scheduling also included waking up and sleeping at a fixed time, to give all my activities enough time.

 

Improving my relationship with myself: I came to terms with the fact that I do not have to be perfect. Making mistakes is what makes me human and gives me room for improvement. And I can never be totally prepared for life; I must deal with things as they come. I also made myself understand that everything has a chance of failure, and that I should not be negative when things don’t work. In other words, I took rein of my train of thoughts and now I know when to stop.

 

Practicing relaxation techniques: Two of the practices that really helped me were meditation and using a diffuser. I regularly meditate with a candle, which involves simply focusing on my breathing and the candle’s flame. I feel it makes me really focused, releasing a bit of anxiety with every breath I exhale. Using essential oils like lavender and chamomile with a diffuser has also helped me relax during the day and sleep at night.

 

How Has My Life Changed?

 

These changes did not happen overnight. For me, they took a few weeks to implement, and I still have a few sporadic bad days. But having a routine and schedule have not only reduced my anxiety, it has also given me advantages in life. My over-preparation proved to be fruitful for my interviews and my job, in general. There used to be a time when my anxiety was my weakness, but in time I believe it will turn it into my strength. This is how I live with my anxiety. I hope my story helps you live with yours too.

 

Do you have experience with anxiety? How do you manage it? Let our compassionate community know on our social media channels, in the comments below or at a Low Entropy meeting!

Take Action

Posted on by andrew

Are you miserable? You should change that. How about today? Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Grace Cheng shows you how.

 

Do you sometimes feel trapped in life and feel everyone is moving ahead except for you?

 

A lot of us feel unhappy or frustrated and think we have no control over our lives. But we do have the power to change our lives by simply putting our thoughts into action. 

 

The hardest part of converting our thoughts into action is taking the first step. Sometimes we do not want to take the first step because we fear failing. We need to be more bold and courageous to step out of our comfort zone and see changes happen in our lives. If we do not take action, nothing will change. We will wonder why we are still facing the same situation 10 or 20 years from now and feel even more miserable. We are responsible for our lives, and no one can walk our lives for us. We are the only ones who can change things for ourselves, so take action today.

 

I have discovered eight ways to turn thoughts into action and transform lives to find fulfillment and happiness.

 

  1. Don’t overthink with negativity

 

I think we have all been there, stuck in a situation, going in circles, paralyzed with fear and frustrations. It is very unproductive and toxic to constantly overthink. We can replace our negative thoughts with positive thoughts that will bring more joy, peace and self-love in our lives. Dream about all of the wonderful things that can happen in your life and keep those thoughts. We can create freedom for ourselves when we are in a happier state of life.

 

  1. Don’t allow past failures to hold you back

 

Just because you might have failed in the past does not mean that you will fail again and things will not work out next time. Don’t let your fear or past failure put you off of doing something that you want to do. Fear can victimize us and stop us from seeking true happiness, keeping us feeling trapped. It is important to remember that there is always an opportunity for a new beginning. Every opportunity can be a wonderful and unique experience, and is only available to you, not somebody else.

 

  1. Don’t wait for a perfect time to do things

 

If we wait for a perfect time to do things and want everything to turn out perfectly, we only create unnecessary stress for ourselves. We end up paralyzing ourselves, holding ourselves back from reaching our goals and dreams. Aiming for perfection is simply not realistic and not practical. It is not a smart move and only hinders us from moving ahead.

 

  1. Your life view can become self-fulfilling prophecy

 

There is a saying that our outlook will determine the way we live, so make sure you have a positive view of life. Your mind is a powerful tool, and shapes whether you see life negatively or positively. Positive self-talk can empower us to achieve our dream lives. This self-talk can also help us to remain calm and positive, which will make our life journey easier to walk.

 

  1. Set realistic life goals and dreams

 

It is important that we don’t make unrealistic life goals and set the bar too high for ourselves. Setting standards too high can lead to a stressful life, with constant disappointments and frustrations. When you want to set achievable, realistic goals, you can simply start with an honest examination of your life work from there toward the directions that you want to take. If it is too difficult to reach a few goals, then start with just one goal at a time so that you can have control and not get discouraged.

 

  1. Don’t be enslaved to social standards

 

Many of us live our lives following societal standards, or expectations from our family and friends. We are suffering inside because we feel trapped living up to their expectations. But you have a choice to stand up for yourself and take full control over your life by doing things that make you happy, rather than blindly following the social norms. There is a chance that you will find friends and family who don’t accept or understand the direction or path of your life, but that is ok. You will eventually find other people who will understand you and form some meaningful friendships and connections. More importantly, you will blaze a happier and more fulfilling life.

 

  1. Learn how to say no to people

 

Sometimes it is hard to say no to others, especially to those who are close to us, like our family members, because we feel obligated to help them. If we say yes to people all the time, we will stress ourselves out and eventually feel burned out. It can be dangerous if we are constantly filling our lives doing work for others and neglecting self-care. The next time someone asks you to do something, pause for a moment before saying yes and analyze whether it is meeting your life’s purpose.

 

  1. Follow your passion and pursue a fulfilling life

 

There is no other person who knows you better than yourself, so it is up to you to make decisions and choices for the direction of your life. Following your passions will give you a great sense of purpose, and your dreams and goals can become a reality.

 

If you are not taking any action to make changes today, chances are you will remain facing the same situation and feeling trapped. You do have the power to take control over your life, by taking actionable steps to regain control and create freedom for your life, and improve your physical, emotional and mental well-being. You can identify which area of your life is holding you back and use the above-recommended advice to overcome your challenges and turn your life around.

What new and exciting directions do you want to take with your life? Let us know in the comments below, or join our community and see what everybody else at Low Entropy is up to as well!

Jump

Posted on by andrew

Plunging through the troposphere, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Nicole Riglietti found a perfect metaphor for the eye-opening act of turning your dreams into action.

 

I keep putting immense pressure on myself. Pressure to grow up. To make realistic choices in life. To have one foot in a life full of security and the other foot pursuing my passions. To walk the safe road in life or walk the one less travelled, carving out my own path, with hard-work, grit and honesty. Is there a balance? Someone once told me not to take life too seriously. How can I not, when the choices we make in life lead us to either greatness or emptiness?

 

I constantly keep taking jobs that lead me further away from the yearning desires within me. Jobs where I fearfully sell my soul for a paycheck instead of feed my soul with pure joy, honouring myself. I say, screw the fear. I’m tired of giving in to the fear of established, long-lasting security. To be honest, I don’t even think that really exists. Fear does. Fear is an innate human instinct, it’s part of the human experience. It can protect us. It hinders us. Fear allows the roaring courage within us to rise and face that which we cannot see. 

 

I went skydiving. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do, to experience in my life. I craved the thrilling adventure that would ignite the adrenaline of life itself, sending shock waves through my very existence. Of course, I was nervous and terrified as each moment inched closer and closer to the drop. I was a crockpot of emotions, my heart pounding outside of myself, and I’m proud to say the excitement of it all won the battle over the fear. It was time to get on the plane and I’m thinking to myself, Okay . . . Okay, this is happening. I can do this. Take off. I’m safe on the plane, with all my gear on, and the door slides open, and people begin to jump out, except from my point of view it didn’t look like jumping, it looked like people were being sucked out of the plane. In a blink of an eye, one by one they were gone, leaving clear blue skies in my eyeline, with a loud whistling sound of air pressure rushing into the cabin and dulling my senses. My turn. I scooted my butt to the edge of the plane’s open door, my legs and feet dangling off the side into nothingness. I stretched my arms to either side, gripping the frame of the plane, holding on for dear life with my shaky, sweaty palms. There’s no sense in this. Why would anyone do this?! Those panicked thoughts raced through my mind with great speed, like Usain Bolt running the 100 metres in the Olympics. My tandem skydiver literally peeled my hands from the frame and crossed my arms over my chest, and we were off, plunging, free falling into the sky, sinking fast as gravity yanked me down with its strong hold, slicing me through the clouds. Those 20-30 seconds of free-falling were the most terrifying thrill, I didn’t even know what was happening. Once the parachute went up, jolting us to a soar, I was able to breathe and appreciate the beauty of creation below and all around me. The mountains to my side, the glistening Pacific ahead of me outlining the surrounding land below, the city stretched out as if it were all Lego formed together by a child’s imagination. I was floating among the clouds, beaming, soaring, smiling, flying with the birds. I was breathing, living, excited to be alive and just taking everything in. 

 

I guess what I’m beginning to realize is, in life the active choice to follow your dreams and pursue your passions is like jumping out of an airplane. It’s utterly terrifying. It’s illuminating excitement. It’s sheer panic and trembling fear. It’s free-falling and liberating. 

 

I could find a secure career, a good-paying, stable job because it’s time to grow up and be an actual adult, only to find that I hate it and myself, becoming miserable at best with the nine-to-five routine, as my soul is craving something else, whispering to me, hoping one day I’ll actually listen. I’d rather have the courage to actively pursue my dreams, follow my heart and turn those dreams into a reality. The dreaming all day, every day at an unfulfilling job makes me unhappy, to say the least. Taking the initial steps fills my insides with fear and crippling anxiety, and then I slowly fall into it and find my way. At the end of the day, at the end of my life, I want to look back and see how I had the courage to try – that I had the courage to be who I am, and most importantly, the courage to be true to who I am. 

 

Head on over to a Low Entropy meeting, or mosey on over to the comments section or any of our social media accounts to let us know about a time you pushed through your fears to witness the beauty on the other side.

Lessons from New Grad: Why you should try less

Posted on by andrew

Hello, my name is Hayley Chan, and I am a recent Criminology graduate of Western University. As a passionate advocate of . . .

Hey. My name is Hayley and I’ve been painstakingly Ctrl- C-ing & Ctrl -V- ing the same intro sentence across 71 different cover letters since September of 2020. 

As productive as this process seemed, it was truly just plain – painful. Painful when that hopeful Indeed job posting says they’re just looking for a new grad with excellent communication and interpersonal skills – and of course that great work ethic – only for me to later discover that the position was filled by the first female rocket scientist to ever walk on Mars.

What were my next steps, you ask? Before I get into that, it’s worth mentioning what I wish this article was actually about. I wish this article was about how to keep persevering, how to get the job over that women’s rights public speaker/rocket scientist – yes, my imaginary competitor is also an eloquent activist for feminism.

And yes, I almost always pushed through. I’d get up the next day. Make my schedule. Do my company research. Send numerous LinkedIn invitations.

Seems like I had it all together right? After all, failure is a part of the process. 

Well, that’s what I was hoping. 

But this process didn’t work for me. I was trying so hard when I should have been trying less. 

In my opinion, as we progress through the 21st century, it’s actually getting harder and harder to just “try less.” We live in a nine-to-five, workaholic, productivity-to-the-max culture.

Moreover, thanks to Facebook, Snapchat and Instagram, we are constantly bombarded with images of this lifestyle, which have become measures for normative success; it’s hard to not compare oneself to what we see on social media both consciously and subconsciously. And it’s harder to not care about how you measure up to others, and what others think about you in this respect.

This was especially true during such a monumental time in my life – post-grad. I was surrounded by people, virtually and in real life, who were jump-starting their careers, making my criminology degree feel slightly . . . useless? 

So when September came, I spent four months learning how to network and tailored polished resumes and cover letters for general business roles.   

Based on my actions, it would appear as though I cared about the field of human resources or general business administration. Wrong. 

I just cared about how I appeared. 

With each new cover letter, I was trying to convince not only the hiring managers, but also myself of my interest in the job. And I think at some point, I started to actually believe I was passionate about recruitment cycles and process improvement.   

I truly wanted to enjoy the journey because I desperately craved the end result – validation, money, prestige. 

But as stated by Mark Manson in the subtle art of not giving a f***,

What determines your success isn’t “What do you want to enjoy?” The relevant question is, “What pain do you want to sustain?”

The success of getting a full-time job in HR or in general business roles and making my first yearly salary sounded ideal. 

But when it came down to it, this end goal did not justify slaving over these job applications every day for four months – applications where I spent copious amounts of time tediously stretching my experiences to fit the job requirements. It also didn’t even justify furthering my education in those fields. These pains were genuinely not worth my time and energy, because my goals were entirely created and driven by how I wanted others to perceive me. I got so caught up in my quarter-life post-grad crisis, frantically applying to jobs from a state of urgency, where my efforts anxiously screamed, “What do I even want to do with my life?!” without actually taking the time to properly answer that question. 

It was like being newly single. You’re not too sure about what you want, and you may be kind of emotionally unavailable, but you pursue relationships that aren’t good for you or the other person. Why bother, or hurt yourself, when you could be taking that time and energy taking a break and doings you love? 

We often try jumping into things without premeditation, and we hold on so hard to how we want things to be, because these ideas supposedly measure our worth, rather than accept simple truths like:

It’s okay to be unsure.  

It’s okay if things don’t work out.

It’s okay to not have everything figured out.

It’s okay to pause, and just do what you can with what you have. 

When I stopped focusing my efforts on what I didn’t want, I was able to think more about what I actually wanted. I started receiving more responses, creating job applications more easily, and feeling more satisfied with my progress. I no longer cared about what other people thought, because I was focused on achieving a goal that would be worth my time, energy, and satisfaction in the long run. Barriers, obstacles, and failure still existed, but caring less about what others thought and caring more about what I wanted made that pain much easier to sustain. 

I’m not saying don’t reach for the stars. Just take it easy. Keep your feet on the ground and head out of the clouds – and stay off of that rocket scientist, feminist activist’s LinkedIn profile.

What’s truly worth your time? Comment below or join one of our many Low Entropy meet-ups to share your life priorities and passions with us.

Changing Careers: The Bright Side!

Posted on by andrew

When you’re stuck in the drudgery of a job you don’t like for long enough, the status quo can feel like a shadow cast from a monumental, immovable obstacle. Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Blaine Hancock, however, reminds us that if we’re willing to charge in a different direction, brighter days might be just around the corner.

 

Changing careers can be an incredibly frightening process. Leaving a career you dislike to pursue a different path can be difficult to even consider. Why leave a consistent paycheque? Why leave a career you’ve dedicated years of your life to? Why leave a job you worked so hard to get? Taking a big step away from all that you have known is never easy.

 

Well, I’m here to tell you that, though there are a few scary things about leaving a career, there are also MANY good reasons to change or consider changing careers! You will feel a renewed sense of ambition, you may reconnect with old passions you left in the dust, and much more! Hooray for the bright side! Let’s take a closer look at some positives that can come from a career change.

 

Renewed Ambition

 

After working at a job for an extended period of time, especially if it’s a job you’re not particularly fond of, you often lose your sense of motivation and struggle to pull yourself out of a monotonous routine. Once you take the step of deciding to change careers, you will feel an enormous sense of renewed ambition and drive. You will be more motivated than ever to figure out your next path. This ambition and drive will also translate to many parts of your life you have been neglecting or pushing aside. Use this ambition to create the best version of yourself.

 

Explore New Paths

 

Of course, the most obvious positive that can come from a career change is the ability to explore new career paths. Although the amount of options to consider may feel overwhelming at first, you will quickly realize that it can be so much fun to look into the next chapter of your life! Do you look for a career in a similar field? Do you do a complete 180 and change your career aspirations entirely? Do you go back to university or take a free online class? The world is your oyster!

 

Reconnect with Old Passions

 

When we change careers, we often reflect on our past and what we did, or didn’t do, to reach our current position in life. This reflection can help us remember certain pursuits and activities we used to like, but ended up temporarily kicking to the curb to pursue our current career. Reconnecting with these old passions will help you to recognize that you have way more interests than just the ones you’re pursuing currently. Furthermore, it will help you to realize that there are other career options that might be a perfect fit for you.

 

Reevaluate Your Mental Health

 

One interesting positive that can come from a career change is a reevaluation of your mental health. While working in a career you dislike, you often don’t fully realize the negative effects it can have on your mental health. Stepping away will give you more time to reevaluate how you are doing and figure out the best way to rejuvenate your mental well-being. Also, this gives you an opportunity to think about switching to a career that’s better for your mental health, or at least think about how you can better handle your mental health while working.

 

After reading this blog, you still might be hesitant and afraid to change careers or consider changing careers. That’s totally okay and understandable: it’s not an easy decision. But don’t forget, there are just as many positive reasons for a career change as there are scary ones. Remember to look on the bright side!

 

Have you made a big career change in your life? Tell us about your decision and how it’s turning out in the comments or in person with a Low Entropy discussion group!

Conscious community

Posted on by andrew

We live in an era where life is dynamic and speedy. We are always caught up in our day-to-day life and are unconsciously doing one thing after another. We never take a moment to evaluate our unconscious behavior patterns, and as a result,  we end up surrounding ourselves with people who may be self-centered. When we surround ourselves with people who only care about themselves, we end up being like them. We start losing values like empathy, compassion and understanding. It also causes us to feel lost and unsatisfied. When we spend our time with those people, it may work out for a bit, but in the extended run, it starts to exhaust us mentally and emotionally.

 

However, we all have the ability to improve our lives by making certain changes. One of these changes is being conscious. In simple terms, consciousness is self-awareness: awareness of our thoughts, feelings and actions. We must train our minds to be conscious, and to achieve that we must practice being present and spend time with people who are mindful and self-aware. We should seek out those who  feel committed to a sense of personal purpose and growth – a growth that not only causes us to feel fulfilled, but also makes the world a better place to be in.

 

It is pivotal to surround ourselves with conscious people because we are the byproduct of those with whom we invest our time and energy. When conscious individuals

connect with one another with the intention of growth, it can positively transform their outlook

on life through mutual motivation and support.

This becomes a growth journey, and the participants can gain

knowledge they could not have gained individually. Growth can be scary, and even triggering at times: your circle should be sensitive to this, and committed to motivating, upholding and hearing each other. This small change can  significantly help us build an optimistic perspective in life.

 

Low Entropy provides an excellent platform to connect with

positive, like-minded people. It brings people together with the goal of personal development in safe spaces, where we practice mental, emotional and personal awareness,  without judgement. In a conscious community, we can find the courage to be radically honest with ourselves: all parts of our story are truly accepted and welcomed.

 

Another thoughtful service offered by Low Entropy called One on One Compassion Connection allows us to practice unconditional love, kindness, and compassion between two individuals. It enables us to be more present, which breaks our dysfunctional pattern of unconsciousness. It is a harmonious, safe place for us to rewire our brain and truly accept all parts of ourselves.

 

When everyone feels safe enough to share parts of themselves that are difficult to reveal, we gain strength and empathy. We enable ourselves to stretch our hearts to understand and love unconditionally. We start evolving into people who are happier and healthier, and through this  practice, love will start to show up in our lives and relationship in ways we would have never imagined before.  

 

Author: Jaspreet Kaur

Puppy Love: A Study of the Unconditional

Posted on by andrew

Like true best friends, dogs are not just great companions – they also help us learn lessons that make us better versions of ourselves. Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Niklas Chiang introduces us to his own trusty canine pal, and recalls how she guided him to one of those revelations.

 

What is unconditional love? If you asked me anytime before today, I wouldn’t be able to answer you. Growing up in an immigrant household, I felt like love was conditional. I had to work to earn my parent’s love. If I misbehaved or didn’t get the mark I was supposed to get, then I was scolded. If the opposite happened, then I got praised, and sometimes, a gift. That was my view of love, and it lingers to this day. I believe, and still do to an extent, that there are conditions behind being loved by someone. I struggle to truly feel unconditional love, but despite these challenges, I’ve begun to understand what it means to give and receive unconditional love. When did this start to change? When my family got a second dog. I never knew this, but dogs, my dog and dogs I see on the streets, are incredible teachers. Let me explain.

 

I was walking to the SkyTrain station in downtown Vancouver late at night because I just got off work. As I waited for the light to turn green to cross the street, I looked to the other side of the road. I saw a man, who appeared to be living in poverty, walking with his dog. I watched their interaction. Whenever the dog needed to sniff, the man would patiently wait until the dog was finished. When it was time to go, the dog followed him. Watching this was amazing because it reminded me that both the man and his dog loved each other, no matter the circumstances. Although we have many prejudices, they do not seem to exist for dogs. The dog accepted his owner and loved him for who he was without judging his wealth, or lack of it. This is no different from loving our partners, families or friends. No matter the circumstances we find ourselves facing, we love each other unconditionally. We embrace the negative qualities and celebrate the positive ones. I’m not saying this comes naturally, but having seen how happy the dog was with his owner makes me believe it’s worth the effort. 

 

When I finally got home, it was late at night. I quietly opened the door to try and not make a sound. I began untying my shoe laces when I heard some scratches on our sliding door. I looked up to see my dog. She had woken up from her sleep to say hello to me. As tired as I was, I went to see her. She became ecstatic. She couldn’t stop walking circles around me. As I was petting her, it dawned on me that this wasn’t the first time she’d done this. Whenever I’d return home, she would always get up from her sleep to greet me. In turn, I would always pause and pet her. For her, as long as she can see that I am home, she will be by my side. Even when I do work, she lies near me, observes me for a bit, and then sleeps. If I move, she moves with me. While some of us like to hear “I love you,” a dog doesn’t have that ability. They express love differently. They could give you their favourite toy, or ask you to play with them, but my dog, she shows her love by following me constantly. That is important because it highlights how we can express unconditional love differently. We will not all have the same ways to express ourselves. Sometimes we see it, and sometimes we don’t. 

 

So I ask myself: what is unconditional love? The most obvious and direct answer is love that has no conditions, but it goes beyond this. Dogs have taught me that we should love someone with no prejudice. They highlight how love is both visible and invisible. I use their lessons to think back about my life. Did I really have conditioned love? Yes, absolutely. Was there unconditional love too? Yes, absolutely. Without my family, I wouldn’t have the food to eat, nor the education I got. Even though I’m not the greatest son, and have had my highs and lows, they accepted me for that and continued to provide. Without my parents, I wouldn’t be here today. To them, I say, “Thank you.” 

Who do you love, no strings attached – four-legged or otherwise? Let us know in the comments or at a Low Entropy event.

Love Yourself Like You Love Yourself

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During this time of year, the world reverberates with proclamations of love for families, friends and partners, but Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Satkar BK reminds us that we also need to love ourselves with that same energy. 

 

Every February, I can’t help but see all the love in the air. Whether it be watching rom-coms or marriage proposal videos on YouTube, I find myself drawn to the idea of love during the most romantic month of the year. It’s easy to imagine a lot of us being attracted to the idea of love. We, humans, are social creatures by nature, and love is another way for us to be connected. Although science may say love is purely a chemical reaction to help us reproduce as a species, anyone who has ever been in love will tell you that it is so much more. Love can be the greatest feeling in the world, or one of the most terrifying, sometimes at the same time. The feeling of love has fueled incredible things throughout history, from the story of The Iliad to the invention of medical gloves. When we have someone we care for so deeply, we can seemingly accomplish anything. 

 

This leads me to the topic for today’s blog. What would happen if we loved ourselves like we love the ones around us? What if we surprised ourselves with flowers? What if we stayed up late to watch our favorite shows? What if we helped ourselves through our toughest times without any hesitation? It’s remarkable to think of the many things we could do at a drop of a hat for our parents, friends and loved ones, in contrast to how difficult it may be to give ourselves even one compliment. I could tell my partner how her smile could outshine a supernova, but I cringe when I stare too long into a mirror. I could shower my cat with all the affection she can handle, but I struggle with patting myself on the back. What I’ve discovered is the love that I feel for others is so much stronger than the love I allow for myself. 

 

The reason I and many others struggle with treating ourselves the same way we treat others is because we see ourselves for our mistakes and imperfections, and see others for the best versions of themselves. We accept that no one is perfect, but expect perfection from ourselves. This Valentine’s Day, why don’t we take the challenge to love ourselves like we love others. To see ourselves as amazing in the way that others do, and to look past the little problems that exist only to us. This is a difficult concept that I haven’t come close to mastering, but it’s one that is incredibly important. We have an infinite amount of love to give throughout our lives and it would be a shame if we could not give some of that love to ourselves. Even if it’s just a little bit, I ask every single person who reads this to take just a moment, look at all the wonderful things you’ve done in your life, look towards the wonderful things you will continue to do and say, “I love you.” 

 

Loving yourself can be challenging. We all need help in one way or another. Low Entropy is dedicated to helping you . . . yes, you! . . . appreciate how wonderful you truly are: keep an eye on some of the programs we offer and start by telling us what you love about yourself this Valentine’s Day.

Practicing Self-Compassion to Improve Mental Health: My Personal Experience

Posted on by vwideski

Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Vivien Hannos discusses how being kind to herself creates opportunities for personal growth and improved mental health.

It was 1980, on Valentine’s Day, when I was diagnosed as a type 1 diabetic. I was only five years old. It was a life-altering diagnosis and the end of my childhood innocence. I had to learn how to administer my own shots of insulin and deal with both high and low blood sugar difficulties.

Low blood sugar reactions happen when there is not enough sugar in the bloodstream due to an excess of insulin. They cause me to become confused and shaky, and it is a life-threatening situation if I do not consume juice or sugar immediately. High blood sugar, on the other hand, is equally bad and, over time, can require limb amputation or result in kidney issues or blindness. 

My parents, at the time of diagnosis, thought that I needed to do a sport so that I would not lose my limbs to diabetic complications. My dad signed me up to learn to skate at Kerrisdale Arena, and that is where my love of skating started. It wasn’t long before I was wrapped up heavily in the competitive figure skating way of life. I practiced for hours and fell many times in my attempts to land new jumps so I could compete at a high level of skating.

Figure skating, being a subjective sport, relies on judges to determine the rankings of the competitors. I believe that over time, as a result of my disordered thinking of being judged continuously and my desperation to try to advance my ranking, I often examined myself in my attempts to fix my faults and gain a competitive edge. Unfortunately, all I accomplished was learning how to be too self-critical. For example, judges would look at how you behaved, what you wore, your facial expressions and how your body looked, and these were all factors in how one would place in rankings. I dwelt on my negative attributes daily and gave myself constant self-criticism.

According to Dr. Aaron T. Beck, the creator of cognitive behavioral therapy, depression can be caused by negative thinking. Therefore, spending a lot of time in a state of negative self-reflection as I did, can and did lead to an altered mood.

To make matters worse, severe depression, if left untreated, can cause a shift into psychosis, which leaves a person unable to tell what is real and not real while in that state. 

This is exactly what happened to me. I got sick with psychosis in 2006 after suffering unknowingly with depression for many years. At the time, leading up to the diagnosis and after already completing my university degree in communications, I was in a school that was training me for medical transcription and under a lot of stress, which put further strain on my brain.

This mental illness devastated me because of many factors. Not only was I humiliated to have a mental illness because of the stigma around mental health issues, but I also felt unlovable and rejected by society.

Psychosis is a serious mental illness, but is treatable with proper medication, which can bring the individual back into reality. As long as the medication is taken at an appropriate dosage, the state of being disconnected from society can be rectified. However, all you hear in the news are stories of people who are violent with mental illness. This is actually quite rare, but stigma remains.

I was brought under the careful watch of a psychiatrist, and with medication and talk therapy (cognitive behavioural therapy), I was told and shown that I was actually very hard on myself. This was the turning point.

I needed to change, and changing is very hard to do. It takes practice. I started to look at myself as imperfect beauty: I am beautiful because of the flaws that I have, not ugly because of my flaws. After retraining my brain to think in this manner by writing in my journal daily, I found that relationships were easier to maintain, and my confidence in myself grew.

I also found that allowing myself to make mistakes frequently, without judging myself, helped as well. It wasn’t long before I noticed that my mood was improving. My mood was further helped with an antidepressant, but the real benefit is from the positive self-compassion I have now.

Have you experienced your own journey toward self-compassion and kindness? Share your stories in the comments, or check out Low Entropy’s services for opportunities to spread positivity to others in a virtual meeting.

When Good Things Happen to Bad Habits

Posted on by dev_team

Cooking up good habits can be a long, frustrating and disheartening process. Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Nahid Nowrozi shares her best methods to break bad habits while keeping your self-confidence intact.

“A bad habit never disappears miraculously, it’s an undo-it-yourself project.” 

-Abigail Van Buren

It is crazy to me that a person’s mind can be so strong and yet so fragile and vulnerable when it comes to lifestyle changes. We’ve all struggled with feeling guilty after spending too much time on our phones instead of being productive, especially during quarantine when being busy felt like an unpleasant option. We all know that during this COVID situation it has been difficult to start new things, but there must still be ways to improve ourselves, right? I am in good health, I study, I exercise, I tutor and I volunteer, but it is still easy for me to fall into bad habits. Usually, the feeling of guilt is strong enough for me to never do something bad again.

But why do I keep indulging in the same bad habits?

Studies say that bad habits are mostly caused by stress, boredom and deep-rooted issues. The reason bad habits exist is that they provide some type of benefit in your life: usually pleasure, comfort or satisfaction. That’s why it’s difficult to put an end to them quickly.

Then how do I change this situation?

I start by focusing on why I want to change a bad habit. Generally, it’s because the consequences affect my well-being. My behavior around other people can also become unpleasant. For example, as a student, sometimes I have to sacrifice a few hours of sleep to finish projects. Sleep is something very valuable and beneficial for me, and I have to prioritize it. We have to remind ourselves constantly about unwanted consequences in order to not fall back into a habit and make the same mistake again. 

One thing that helped me a lot was making weekly challenges that turned into monthly challenges, until that behaviour became a good habit.  They say it takes anywhere from two weeks to even more than a year to form a good habit, depending on the person and the goal.

To improve my sleeping habits, I started by turning off all my electronics and forcing myself to read or journal instead.  This would tire my eyes, making me sleepy. Before this change, I would sleep at around 1:00 a.m. That slowly improved to 11:00 p.m. Every week I would try to sleep one hour earlier, which meant that I would wake up one hour earlier. In the morning, I would get my work done more efficiently.

Whenever I listen to people talk about their struggles with bad habits, I notice one thing that seems to cause a lot of problems: often people are not aware of how they truly feel, or how a habit affects them. If you don’t know how to feel, how are you supposed to choose your actions properly? If you only make yourself feel guilty, how are you supposed to consider your behaviour clearly?

If you are able to understand and accept your feelings, you will notice that there are so many new options that could help you. Learning to control your emotions and reflecting before repeating a habit will become invaluable, and you may notice that you don’t enjoy the habit as much as you think you do. For example, if I don’t sleep enough, I won’t be able to focus on my work during the day, I won’t be energetic and I will be very moody. In the long term, lack of sleep has been closely associated with hypertension, heart attacks and strokes, obesity, diabetes, depression and anxiety, decreased brain function, memory loss, weakened immune system, lower fertility rates and psychiatric disorders.

Imagining yourself succeeding without your old habits is a great way to motivate yourself. To make this happen, I distract myself from what triggers my bad habit by changing my environment and my surroundings. The more time you have at your disposal, the more likely you are to indulge in a bad habit. In my situation, I shouldn’t watch TV or scroll on my phone until I am done with schoolwork for that day. What can I do instead? Other than finishing my schoolwork, I could take a nap, exercise, volunteer or spend time with my family.

This approach can help us make a fresh start, but I know what you’re thinking: what if I return to my old habits?

The more you try to entirely suppress your thoughts, the more you’re likely to revert back to a bad habit. We all need to remember that bad habits don’t simply disappear on their own: we have to replace them with good ones. And remember, we’re only human, and it’s hard to always stick to one routine. You might fail a few times, but it doesn’t mean you’re striving for the impossible. Forgive yourself and be patient – give your mind the space to gradually control your behaviour, and good habits will follow.

How do you break a bad habit? Share your thoughts and tips in the comments section. You can also explore Low Entropy’s services for opportunities to discuss the difficulties of breaking bad habits in a supportive environment.