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Rafia Rowshan, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

What is the most important factor in a sustainable relationship? Is it just love? Certainly, at the heart of every conjugal relationship lies love. In fact, it is love or affection for each other that makes couples long for each other’s company past the momentary phase of attraction. However, as the bond deepens and matures, it often transforms into something more profound—a shared sense of responsibility. This is specifically true when companionship results in the birth of a new life, that is, parenthood. Such transition marks a significant milestone and often an extreme roller coaster ride in the journey of love.

Parenthood is a journey filled with joy, wonder and boundless love, but it also invites considerable changes in the relationship dynamics. Suddenly, the focus shifts from partnership between two individuals to the collective responsibility of nurturing a child. For many couples, romance takes a back seat for a certain time and compassion becomes the glue of the relationship. It’s a monumental shift that requires adaptation, communication, compromise and a considerable amount of nonjudgmental empathy for each other.  

Nowadays, housekeeping is seen as a shared responsibility between partners. However, sometimes the load of parenthood falls mostly on the mother. With the arrival of a child comes a plethora of responsibilities, like feeding, changing diapers, ensuring general wellness of the child and so on. While it’s a 24/7 job, mothers still need time to heal, both physically and mentally. At this stage, couples need to share the responsibility by dividing the tasks of child care.

In order to share tasks equitably, clear communication between partners is a requirement. In some couples, a father might feel ignored, while the mother blames herself for not being able to keep up. In such cases, open and effective communication is vital. Couples have to perceive this as a moment of crisis and present their needs without any sugar coat. Also, early discussion about parenting styles and financial responsibilities can help pacify conflicts and make both parents feel valued. 

As mentioned before, during the initial stage of parenthood, couples tend to neglect their conjugal relationship. The physical and emotional demands of child-rearing often impact intimacy between partners. However, prioritizing quality time together is crucial to sustain affinity and connection. If scheduling regular date nights seems impossible, simply carving out moments for meaningful conversation, compassionate hand-holding or even just a peck on the cheek could do the trick. For prolonged issues, professional help can be sought. Partners need to understand that nurturing their romantic relationship is more important than ever, as happy parents can more easily bring up a happy child. 

For the same reason, it is extremely important for parents to prioritize self-care. Within the all-encompassing role of parenthood, it’s crucial for each partner to retain their individual identity. Taking guilt-free time to recharge or pursue hobbies not only benefits individual well-being, but also enhances the quality of the relationship. Often after the birth of a child, parents lose their sense of identity. Encouraging each other’s personal growth, pursuing interests outside of parenting, and supporting each other’s goals and aspirations can foster a sense of fulfillment and prevent feelings of resentment and stagnation. 

There is an old saying that it takes a village to raise a child. Only new parents can totally relate to this. However, in today’s individualistic world, we are often hesitant to seek help from others. Parenthood can be overwhelming, and it’s perfectly alright to seek support from family, friends or professionals when needed. Whether it’s attending parenting workshops, joining support groups or seeking couples therapy, reaching out for help strengthens the partnership and provides the couples with the tools required to navigate parenthood more smoothly. 

As the child grows, the caregivers will often understand what a bittersweet journey it is. The transition from being partners to parents signifies a profound evolution in the relationship. While it brings about new responsibilities and challenges, it also deepens the bond between partners as they sail through this journey together. Parenting is like a puzzle that partners can definitely solve at the end, if they prioritize communication, mutual support and self-care.

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