I Was Not Depressed, Just Languishing

July 28, 2024

Jayne Seagrave {she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

I find it wonderful when someone presents research findings on a topic I can immediately identify with. While the effects of climate change on an infant’s intelligence or the rise of alcoholism in middle aged women or the demise of the Amazon rainforests are clearly relevant subjects that justify in-depth, funded research and should be a priority for our politicians and leaders, my overriding interest lies elsewhere. Which is why I am delighted to learn there are academics who have decided to devote their time to a subject that intrigues me—namely the study of happiness, and why some of us are happy, and many of us are not. 

I like happy people. I am drawn to the woman in my exercise class with the wide grin, adore the giggling six-year-old I encounter on the sidewalk who is running rings, literally, around his stressed father, or the cyclist singing loudly, oblivious to pedestrians and who nearly runs me over. In this respect I do not think I am that different to many others. But what makes some people happy and others not? And if you are unhappy, what is the way this can be addressed?

The World Happiness Report is the world’s foremost publication on global well-being. The subject has gained international recognition, with the United Nations General Assembly in its resolution 66/281 proclaiming March 20th be observed annually as International Day of Happiness.

One of the contributors to the 2023 Happiness Report is psychologist Corey Keyes, who has developed the concept of “languishing” and published a book entitled Languishing: How to Feel Alive Again in a World That Wears Us Down. I loved his idea of languishing and immediately identified with it, and saw it in so many people I know, or have known. 

Keyes knows me. He understands how I think, how I feel, what excites and interests me, and more importantly, can offer an insight into my persona. Goosebumps appeared as I read the words of this man who seems to have gained access to my inner self. It is as if he had laid me down on the psychologist’s couch, asked me to remove my shoes and spoken to me in a softly measured, sensitive style, to help me understand the complicated state of being me. In so doing, he helped me understand there were times in my life when I was languishing. There were times in my life when I was languishing for weeks and never even knew I was doing it.

In defining this concept, Keyes suggests that people who are languishing feel little. There is nothing positive happening in their lives, and few things of importance—no meaningful relationships, a dullness, a nothing, a state of existence but little else, aimlessness. It is not necessarily a period of sadness, just an overall numbness. Interestingly, languishing is different to depression. Depression has negative symptoms, such as over-eating or disturbed sleep patterns, or at its extreme, suicidal thoughts. Languishing is an absence of positivity. You just feel blaaah—sound familiar? 

Languishing is normal, and a state we all feel at some point in our lives. The danger is that languishing may lead to depression if we remain there too long. Human beings are meant to change and grow and develop—languishing is a state that prohibits this. Like not exercising or over-eating or laying in bed reading bad literature or watching TV for hours, it is okay to languish for a while, but not for the long term.

Fortunately, Keyes not only defines the concept, but offers advice on how to foster greater positive emotions in five components:

  1. Find a purpose in life. This could be as simple as greeting a stranger in the coffee bar, or volunteering time to support a charity on a regular basis. I find purpose in writing. The first draft of this article is being written in a cafe, where I am avoiding languishing. My purpose is to explain the concept of languishing to others through the written word so readers can avoid it as well. 
  2. Learn a new skill. This could be gardening, cooking, knitting, painting, synchronised swimming, bee keeping—anything that involves progressing and developing. A few years ago, I read that learning another language is good for cognitive health. Now, every year I spend two weeks in France for intensive language tuition. The radio in my kitchen is tuned to Radio France, and as I type these words, I am listening to French rock songs. I watch Netflix with French subtitles. I am hoping this will be enough to prevent languishing.
  3. Have fun and play. For me, this is playing with words as I write, singing loudly to Bruce Springsteen and Bob Seger when driving, attending Zumba classes, walking zig-zag down the middle of the street, giggling on my way home late at night after drinking more than I should . . . I could go on. There is a lot of play in my life. 
  4. Adopt a spiritual or religious practice, or a philosophy. Foster a mechanism to help understand the world. I adore my time alone, which can be as brief as a two-hour walk in the forest, or as long as a two-week road trip alone across British Columbia, both giving me time to order and reflect.
  5. Socialise. Create a community, and then give and receive from that group. Building reliable, stable connections is where trust and affection is created. This is the most important element. I work hard to retain and grow the bonds of friendship, never taking them for granted.

In the recent past, and significantly since the pandemic, there have been studies showing depression has increased, especially amongst the young. The 2023 World Happiness Report documented evidence of this. Are our adolescents depressed or languishing? While external factors beyond our control can lead to languishing, I believe these five steps provide a base from which this malady can be addressed. There were times when I thought I was depressed, when I was reaching for medication that awarded me an excessive amount of energy and a dream-like, hazy and contented, but detached state, when I may have in fact not been depressed, but just languishing. 

Jayne Seagrave is a BC bestselling author. The ninth edition of her book Camping British Columbia, the Rockies and the Yukon was published by Heritage House in April 2023. Over 60,000 of her camping books have been sold. She also writes fiction, non-fiction and freelance articles, and occasionally teaches writing and publishing courses.

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