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Alexandra Dadivas (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

As humans, one of our goals in life is to feel that we belong. We strive to find where we fit in this hurried, crowded and unreliable world. It is a common misconception that everybody has an idea of where they want to go — the truth is that sometimes you might have no idea, and sometimes you might have multiple and are unable to narrow it down. My story is the latter.

 

Youth are often seen as the spark that will carry society forward. However, many don’t realize how much pressure this puts on people who don’t even know who they are yet. From infancy, most are raised to explore the world in hopes that they will find something that will call to them and thus lead them to the career that they will spend the majority of their life in. But more often than not, this results in internal conflict.

 

Ever since I was a young child, my world has revolved around writing. From ages 7–12, was obsessed with creating short comics that spanned about a page. I had never been one for true sketching, so I always stuck to my simple stick figures, but the storylines and characters that flew through my head were always begging to be put on paper. Incredible really, how so many ideas could fit into such a tiny mind. By the time I was 12, I began to start writing in short-story format. Instead of drawings and cells and speech bubbles, I wrote descriptive scenes and dialogues. The characters became more rounded, and more complex thought was put behind my plots.

 

I stand here now, wondering if I could take it a step further — if I should take it a step further. Writing a novel would give me a sense of such fulfillment in life, and if I could simply write for the rest of my life and make a living off of it, I believe I would be happy.

 

So what’s stopping you, Alexandra? It’s a great question, and it is something I ponder nearly every single day. My answer always ends up being the same.

 

While I have been actively exercising the literature-loving side of me, a scientist part has been silently growing in the background, too. A natural sense of curiosity has gripped me since the day I came into this world — I’ve always wanted to know the invisible systems that made it work. Science is something that I could easily find a place in, and I could not think of a better way of finding where I fit in society than helping humans heal. Landing somewhere in health sciences would allow me to look back on my life and think, “I made it. I made a difference.”

 

“Follow your passion,” some say.

 

“No, don’t do that, follow the money,” others retort.

 

“Perhaps you’re better off simply doing what others think is best for you, because surely you should have picked a career by now.”

 

All of these comments and opinions can get extremely overwhelming, especially when it comes to something as big as your life’s purpose.

 

In truth, it is not a question of passion or money or external opinion. It is a question of which side of myself I want to put first.

 

It is a near-impossible question, and if you have come this far for the answer, dear reader, I’m afraid I cannot provide it. It can be terrible really, to feel like you are being tugged one way and then pulled equally in another. It can tear you apart. At times, it may feel as though the world is asking you to reduce yourself to merely one side of your dice, without the allowance of seeing what the others can offer. My only advice to you is to keep rolling. Yes, in the end, you may have to only focus on one of your sides for your career, but please allow light to shine on the other parts that have created you as a character. 

 

In conclusion, it is okay if you have a whole gallery of ideas of things you want to do with your life, or if you have absolutely nothing that comes to mind, or if you rest somewhere in between. You might worry, “Where will I go from here?”

 

Well . . . you could go anywhere.

 

Isn’t it exciting?

 

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Hi! My name is Alexandra Dadivas and I’m going into Grade 11 with the goal of being in healthcare sciences. Avid reader of young adult fiction!