Because of Other People
July 19, 2024
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Nei (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer
There is a saying in my language, Setswana, “motho ke motho ka batho ba bangwe.” It is the Setswana version of the well-known saying “no man is an island,” but directly translated, it means “a person is a person because of other people.” To me, this saying speaks to the fact that we are relational beings. We thrive when in proximity to one another not only because of the feeling of comfort from having shared experiences, values and beliefs in our communities, but also from the lessons and stimulation we get from interacting with people with differences. As the world becomes more interconnected, there is greater need for us to have more nuanced understandings of how to approach our differences, whether they be cultural, religious, national, etc . . . Open-mindedness and respect for others with differences has not been a strong suit of human beings historically, but there is a lot to be gained from embracing the world for its diverse people, sights, sounds, tastes and experiences.
I am a believer in immersion. Before visiting a place, I will read as much as possible about its history and learn as many local phrases as possible to try to tap into as many experiences as possible. I might have been blessed with a flexible mind and adaptable personality, but I believe it is also a conscious choice to be open to possibility when it comes to new cultures.Â
One of my fondest memories was a trip I took to Brazil as a teenager. I visited the city of Belo Horizonte, where I stayed for six weeks and lived with an amazing family who generously housed and adopted me as their own for the duration of my stay. I spent most of my time with their daughter, whom I fondly called my “exchange sister,” accompanying her pretty much everywhere. I got to experience major events like Christmas and New Year’s Eve celebrations, as well as “mundane” things like going to the grocery store and taking out the trash. I often joke that I will find a way of bringing up my trip to Brazil at some point in any conversation, but my time in Brazil was truly a great lesson in being open-minded, and it taught me a lot about the importance of keeping a loving heart and an open mind in the face of diversity. Whether visiting a place or being in the place you permanently live, it can be challenging and exhausting to confront differences regularly. That is important to acknowledge, but it can certainly be overcome.Â
Get Comfortable Being UncomfortableÂ
In Brazil, I struggled with getting to know people in-depth due to the language barrier, but I remained committed. This is how I learnt enough Portuguese to get around the city, get directions and learn little pieces about the country’s rich history, though some days were exhausting because I was either being misunderstood or misunderstanding what was being said. I often felt extra tired at the end of day from constantly translating phrases in my mind and learning new words. Halfway into my stay, I called my mother in tears because I missed home and the woes of being away were getting to me. After some healthy venting, I decided to take a different approach to my trip. I would get comfortable with being a novice and looking stupid from time to time. When it comes to learning a new culture, ignorance is not bliss; it is a comfort zone and it is best to move from ignorance into immersion.
Learn Without Generalizing
It is a privilege to be allowed into a space and to be educated about a people’s history and culture. It can be easy to use your limited knowledge as a visitor to paint an image of individuals that you come across. However, it is important to remember that peoples’ experiences are not homogenous. While in Brazil, when learning about historical events or socio-economic challenges, I tried to consider that I was learning through the eyes of the person I was speaking to at that moment. Recognize that culture is less about the general elements of a person, like their nationality, race or gender, and more about their specific experience of the world within the context of their culture and identity. We should create space for people to share their experiences without turning them into spokespeople for their nationality or whatever group they may belong to.
Eat, Drink and Dance!Â
Food and music are the highlight of any experience for me. They are a great way of tapping into the history of a culture. It was through food that I learnt about the influence of African culture in modern-day Brazil. More so, while most Brazilian music is sung in Portuguese, the rhythms and melodies can tell you a lot about the mark left by the millions of enslaved people, immigrants, traders and settlers to the South American country over time. Learning does not always have to be intentional and structured; it can be done by sharing a meal or dancing at a party. Throwing yourself into the more fun elements of a place is always a great way to learn and have fun while doing it.
Like the saying from back home goes, we are people because of other people, so if we wish to thrive within ourselves, we should ensure that the love, kindness and respect we hope to receive, we also give to the world tenfold.
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Nei is an aspiring writer who finds solace in music, meditation and long walks. With a belief in the power of difficult conversations to challenge the status quo, she’s on a journey to make her mark and hopes to share her insights through the pages of her own books one day.
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