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Grace Song (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

Grieving the loss of a loved one is an inevitable aspect of the human experience. The journey through bereavement can be tumultuous, marked by overwhelming and all-encompassing emotions. I have recently had my first ever encounter with loss and grief. My initial experience with grief involved many tears blurring my vision. Hearing the news of the passing of a kind soul and attending the funeral service has been a journey to say the least—I cannot even begin to imagine how the family is currently coping. 

Coping with loss is an individual journey. There is no one way to manage grief or loss. However, there are five commonly denoted stages of grief to help provide individuals a structure for and understand one’s emotions and related actions. These are described in the book On Death and Dying by Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages do not need to unfold linearly; emotions are known to ebb and flow, requiring a flexible and compassionate approach to self-care and understanding.

My approach has been a blend of introspection, support-seeking, and finding solace in beautiful memories. Acknowledging the pain and truly allowing myself to embrace raw emotions has been imperative in my healing journey. It is essential to recognize that healing is not synonymous with forgetting—as some of us often try to forget and deny reality. For me, journaling has served as a therapeutic outlet, providing a safe space to express all my emotions that accompany loss. Putting pen to paper has helped me to gain clarity on my path to healing. Support from caring family and friends has also played a pivotal role as they have kept my wandering thoughts grounded. Sharing memories and stories about the departed loved one with others fostered a healing connection and provided comfort in my shared experience of grief. I believe that celebrating the life lived, rather than solely mourning the loss, can also be a powerful way to channel grief into a positive force for personal growth. And that is exactly what I have been striving to do on the quotidian.

From my experience from discussing with professionals, I do sense that societal attitudes towards grief are evolving. Fostering open conversations about loss is important in breaking the stigma associated with mourning. Embracing vulnerability and providing a supportive environment for those grieving enables a more compassionate, sympathetic, and empathetic community. Sharing personal experiences of grief can contribute to a broad dialogue, fostering empathy and reducing isolation often felt by those grieving the loss of a loved one. 

If you are also on your healing journey through grief, there are resources that you may consider utilizing, particularly if you reside in B.C., and that may prove to be beneficial for you and your family. 

• B.C. Bereavement Helpline – a charity “committed to facilitating the provision of care and support to the bereaved, caregivers and service providers and to increase public understanding of grief as a life process through education, support, advocacy, networking and dissemination of information.”
• MyGrief.ca – a Canadian online resource “to help people move through their grief from the comfort of their own home, at their own pace.”
• Counseling services – professional counseling services are available to help individuals cope with emotional challenges of grief. B.C. Psychological Association may assist you in finding licensed therapists who specialize in grief counseling. 
• Hospice services – hospice organizations (e.g. Vancouver Hospice) offer comprehensive support for individuals facing the end-of-life and for their families. They often provide counseling, support groups, walking groups, and important resources to help cope. 
• Government resources – the government of B.C. recognizes the importance of mental health. The B.C. Mental Health and Substance Use Services website provides information on available resources and services. 

Grieving the loss of a loved one is an intricate and deeply personal process. Bereavement, with its complexities and challenges, has prompted profound reflections on the nature of life, love, and loss. In navigating this journey, I have come to realize that grief is not a hurdle to simply overcome but a lifelong companion, guiding me towards resilience, compassion, and a deeper understanding of the human experience. 

Works Cited

1.  https://bcbh.ca/about-us/
2.  https://www.mygrief.ca/local/pages/?id=3
3.  https://www.psychologists.bc.ca/home 
4.  https://www.healthlinkbc.ca/mental-health-substance-use/mental-health

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