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MacKenzie Chalmers (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

The traditional idea of family has changed through our transforming society. Blended families are now common, creating various kinds of siblings: 

 

Full Siblings: Siblings who share the same biological parents. 

 

Half-Siblings: Siblings who only share one biological parent between them. 

 

Step-Siblings: Siblings who are children of different parents who have married. These siblings are not biologically related.

 

Adopted Siblings: Individuals who are the biological children of someone else, but have been legally adopted into a family with other children. They are not biologically related to the children in the adopting family.

 

Foster Siblings: Individuals who are raised by someone who is not their parent, alongside that parent’s children. 

 

Regardless of the type of sibling you have, similar sibling dynamics can be experienced. You could be the sibling that feels forgotten or invisible. You could be the sibling that feels a duty to protect the younger one. You could be the sibling that demands attention, or wants the attention to disappear. A sibling can be your best friend in life or your worst enemy. You may love spending time with them, or fight against them for everything. 

 

The evolution of siblings’ relationships over time can be represented in four general ways: 

 

1. You are close when you are older, and distant when you are younger.
2. You are close when you are younger, and distant when you are older.
3. You have always been close growing up and as adults.
4. You have never been close growing up and as adults.

 

In earlier years, the difference in age between siblings can significantly affect sibling relationships. A larger age gap can create distance between siblings, as you may lack shared experiences in the present.

 

Siblings who are very close in age, on the other hand, may struggle due to experiencing the same milestones at the same time. You may fight constantly, as both of you are living under the same roof or even share a room with one another, creating a lack of privacy and space. Tension might build, and all you might want is to be away from one another.

 

When siblings transition into adulthood, the dynamic can change. Both of you have left the family home and are in the process of forming new lives for yourselves. If you were close when you were younger, the process of post-secondary school, working new jobs, meeting new people and forming a new family can create a distance between siblings as communication decreases. In other cases, siblings can grow closer with age. You are not living together, and are able to enjoy each other’s company when you both desire. You can experience life on your own and get a new perspective on the other sibling when you do not have to see them every day. You can miss them now. Growing up, you may feel boxed in with your sibling, but now you might want to hear about their lives and ask them for their opinion and advice about situations you are both experiencing.

 

Age differences seem to be less noticeable as adults, and you can more easily bond over common interests and common experiences. Friendships can be formed despite age gaps.

 

The dynamic between siblings can be progressions of friendship, fighting, love and attention-seeking. They can be ever-changing relationships that should not be feared. If you are worried about the state of your relationship with your sibling – especially as adults – communication is key. There are many ways to communicate digitally if face-to-face is not possible. Video chatting and instant messaging are great tools. Pick up the phone and call them. You can be traditional and send them a hand-written letter. Let them know you are thinking of them.

 

Regardless of the state of your relationship with your sibling, they likely most understand your life, as they grew up with similar family dynamics. If it is possible to maintain a positive dynamic with your sibling, you’ll have a life-long friend with an irreplaceable familial bond. 

 

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MacKenzie is a digital media enthusiast with interests in various aspects of media. She takes part in novel hunting, photo and video creating and creative writing.