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Andreza Gonçalves (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer.

Love is a simple, four-letter word that seems to be so complex that many people still struggle to find the real meaning behind it.

Some individuals try to define it in books, chronicles, songs, poems, or even in actions and figures. However, it can be said that love is a personal feeling that exists inside of us and that we need to express in some form and receive back to live a healthy and happy life.

It has already been scientifically proven that the human race is a social species, which means that we have a strong desire to live in community, even if we are more introspective and don’t enjoy socializing. The COVID pandemic was a great example of how a person needs to be in touch with others (even if it happens in the lowest proportion possible) to get help and also to interact and not get depressed from feeling loneliness.

That said, keep in mind that love can be expressed for friends, family, a pet, meaningful objects, or even someone you met, grew to admire, and now wish to marry. This last one is called romantic love and is treated by many as a life goal to achieve happiness.

Some men and women dream about finding someone to marry, have kids, and construct their own nuclear family. A society’s portion even suffers when they notice that it is not that simple to find “the one”, and after they have found them, they feel as if the mission was accomplished and that’s it. 

Of course this idea shouldn’t be generalized, nevertheless, it’s important to mention that loving one another goes way beyond getting married and having children, it can be compared to a seed that must be watered everyday in order not to die. 

To better represent what I want to say, I need to mention a book that sounds pretty coherent to me and that seems to help us understand how it works to “water the seeds of love”. It’s called The Five Love Languages, and it was written by an American pastor, who is also a counselor and writer, named Dr. Gary Chapman.

In his work, Dr. Chapman explains that each one of us has a main love language that demonstrates what we mainly need to feel love. As the book’s title suggests, there are five main languages; acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, and physical touch.

 

These tongues are followed by dialects, but every person has one or two main ways of feeling loved. On the one hand, there are those who sense appreciation when someone cooks them a dish or does the laundry; on the other hand, there are those who experience it when they receive a compliment, a gift, a hug, or attention from a special pal.

With a PhD in adult education, Dr. Chapman proves in his writing that love not only must be cultivated, but that it requires the correct caring. In his thoughts he showed that people who received demonstrations of affection that were distinct from those considered relevant by them tended to not see these actions as manifestations of fondness. This is so serious that some couples were about to split because they no longer felt loved by their once soulmate. 

If you get curious about Dr. Chapman’s doings, I highly recommend you to take his free and online test to discover how you prefer to receive love, so you can get your own conclusions about what has been explained above. 

So, before I faced the Five Love Languages theory, I used to strongly defend the idea that we must acknowledge the appreciation we feel for the people around us, although after it I started to better understand that folks (like my grandmother) were not rejecting my gifts, it was just that it wasn’t the principal way for them to sense my caring. 

After all this reflection we have made about love, we can conclude that love has to be cultivated every day for it not to wither and die, but it also must be cared for correctly. 

It might sound way too hard; however, when you learn how to pour your heart out effectively, it becomes an easier and more valued task that can generate mutual results that are surely worth it both ways.

And remember, if a love tank is full, it is more likely for it to overflow and return to you. Nevertheless, don’t apply this with the intention of receiving anything back, since love is neither selfish nor self-centered.

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Andreza is a Brazilian attorney, passionate about volunteering, and who wants to cause a good impact in the world. Andreza loves her family, her dog, and traveling. She lives in Brazil and expects you to be touched positively by her words.