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Via Genzon (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

When you become an adult, you are confronted with the big questions: Who do you want to be? What do you want to do? How will you get there? There isn’t only one way to do life, but when you grow older, the pressures and expectations become stronger, not only from society, but also from your own self. 

A year ago I graduated from university, which liberated me from the pressures of academia. The sense of freedom and the excitement of a new beginning gave me the high that most people in their early 20s feel. I was on top of the world. However, like most things, it didn’t last. I felt so empty and lost after my convocation. For most of my life until that moment there was a clear path that I wanted to follow — finish school and get my degree. But no one prepared me for the emptiness you feel when you finally have to carve your own path and answer the big questions in life. Some people had it figured out sooner, and it put a lot of pressure on me.

The job hunt phase was excruciating, but the worst part was feeling lost in life. I see my peers going to grad school or starting their jobs right after graduation while I was still figuring out what I wanted to do. It felt like I was behind in life and I was doing everything wrong. Of course that wasn’t true, but at that moment it didn’t feel like that feeling would ever end. That difficult time forced me to face deep reflections and confront my anxieties and fears. Fortunately, I wasn’t alone — I was lucky enough to go through adulthood with my long-term friends.

There is something profound and beautiful about growing up with your childhood friends and going through big transitions in life together. Despite choosing different paths, we shared the common experience of navigating through adulthood and all its highs and lows. Talking about our experiences and learning from each other helped me realize that I was very much on track with my life, because life is not a race — we all have our own pace. It’s easy to forget that sometimes, because it’s so much easier to compare yourself to others, especially with the existence of social media. We see highlights of other people’s lives all the time, yet we lack the context to fully understand what happens behind the scenes. Talking to my close friends and listening to their unfiltered realities kept me grounded. It’s normal to feel scared and lost, no matter what age or stage you occupy in life.

It’s been a year since my convocation, and I am a completely different person now. I can’t say I have it all figured out yet, but I know myself better. I think I have a better idea of who I want to be, but at the same time I know that my answer could change any time, and I’m perfectly fine with that. I believe that we are not meant to stay a single version of ourselves for the rest of our lives. A significant part of the human experience is change, and with change comes growth. You don’t have to start a career after graduation, you don’t have to settle down in your 20s, you don’t have to raise a family in your 30s, you don’t have to live your life by anyone’s standard. You are in control of your own journey, and you can change your path anytime. A good friend of mine used to say, “You have the rest of your life to figure yourself out, so be kind and patient to yourself.”

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