Lauren Long (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer
What does accountability mean, and why is it important to take into consideration when remembering a person’s track record? How does it affect who we are as people?
Oprah Winfrey said, “Nobody but you is responsible for your life. It doesn’t matter what your mama did; it doesn’t matter what your daddy didn’t do. You are responsible for your life . . . You are responsible for the energy that you create for yourself, and you’re responsible for the energy that you bring to others.” How often do we blame others for our dysfunction, instead of seeking professional help to move through it and become better people?
Accountability matters everywhere. At home, at work, at school and in all of our relationships, including the one we have with ourselves.
I remember this moment when someone I worked with at the bar failed to take accountability. I had the night off, so I had plans with some girlfriends to see Wonder Woman. A few hours before, I got a call from my supervisor asking me to come in to cover this other woman’s shift because she’d called in sick. I was reluctant to, but at the same time I understood the importance of showing up even when I wasn’t scheduled to work. After letting my friend know the change in plans and that I would try to make it, I got ready to go to work.
When I arrived, I said to another coworker that it was a shame that this person was sick. She told me that this woman wasn’t sick at all, she was out on the lake with her friends and had decided to blow off her shift and lie about why she wasn’t coming.
Looking back, I realize that my reluctance to go in was a gut instinct telling me that this person was untrustworthy. On the nights we’d work together, I saw that she wasn’t interested in being fully present at work. I was angry that I had given up my plans to cover for someone who didn’t care about her job and whether or not she kept it.
I did end up going to the movie that night because I told one of my coworkers, who became one of my good friends, that I’d had plans but came in anyway, and not only did she tell our manager that I had done so, she offered to take the one table I had so that I could still make it to the movie. That spoke volumes about the kind of person my friend was and is, and it also showed me that I could count on her at work.
The coworker whose shift I had been called in to cover on the other hand . . . well, I never took a shift for her again. I don’t appreciate being lied to, and every time she asked me to take one of her shifts, I said no. Her dishonesty told me all I needed to know, and I’m actually amazed that she never got fired.
That’s one example of taking responsibility and remembering a person’s track record. On taking accountability for myself, I will say that with running my blog, podcast and now my own virtual assistant business, I understand the importance of accountability and integrity more than ever.
You know that saying “You should treat people how you want to be treated?” I make it a priority to do that with every person I meet, whether it’s a fellow pole dancer or potential client. I don’t want to give them any reason not to trust me, and if I say I’m going to do something, I keep my word. I know from experience how broken promises and words can diminish a person’s trust in us and cause heartbreak.
I know this because I had repeated experiences as a kid of having a family member promise we would have lunch the next time she visited, and she never followed through. It took a lot of self-reflection and therapy to realize that she was just too selfish to own up to her actions and didn’t care about the impact it had on me. It took a long time, but I eventually realized I wasn’t the problem.
I haven’t seen her in years, and honestly? I’m not missing anything. People who don’t take responsibility for their actions don’t belong in my life, and I believe that those two individuals were only placed in my path to show me what real accountability looks like and what it means to be a good human being.
Sadly, there will always be people who don’t take responsibility for their actions and blame their dysfunction on others. The important thing is that we learn through our own experiences what these people look like personality-wise and how to set firm boundaries that keep them off the trajectory of our life paths.
I learned the hard way that not everyone is honest and owns up to their mistakes, but now that I’ve learned that lesson, I’m less inclined to make the same mistake of trusting untrustworthy people.
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Born and raised in Quesnel, BC, Lauren Long is a strong advocate for mental health and well-being, a voice for the pole community, a major Swiftie and a role model for positive body image. When she’s not writing, you can find her on the pole, on the training mats, or curled up with a good book or fanfiction.