Best Unspoken
August 17, 2024
Cassandra Di Lalla (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer
I hope and pray that this will be one of the easiest (if not the easiest) topics to write about. I say this because when Iām communicating in written form, versus actually speaking and holding a conversation, I am totally and completely in my element. Itās my comfort zone.
When Iām expressing myself in writing, I find that I feel more relaxed and at ease. Iām not having to come up with something to say instantaneously, nor do I have to worry about how to respond to someone.
A wave of anxiety washes over me when I have to speak out loud or hold a conversation with someone, and thatās mainly because I get nervous and uncomfortable. Sometimes when Iām feeling that way, I tend to ramble on and spew absolute nonsense, since my nerves get the best of me. Or, things just end up completely awkward to the point where I dread ever having to go through it again. Hence why Iād prefer to keep to myself unless Iām around people Iām already comfortable with, or people who know what to expect from me as a socially awkward and anxiety-ridden human being.
Another reason I find it a lot easier to express myself in writing is the simple fact that I can actually take the time to think about how Iām feeling and why Iām feeling that way. No stress, no pressureājust my thoughts and I. I feel a lot more comfortable writing everything out, rather than mouthing off a bunch of jargon that sounded better in my head than when I actually let those words roll off my tongue.Ā
When youāre holding a conversation with someone, whether they be your friend, a parent or sibling, a colleague, etc . . . itās always live. Itās not pre-recorded, where you can listen to what the conversation will entail so that you know how to respond.
You canāt rewind and pretend that you werenāt just speaking out loud. It isnāt like erasing the words on paper and rewriting them. You can fast-forward by changing the topic, but those words were still said, and they were still part of that conversation.
You can pause the conversation by excusing yourself, but chances are that youāll pick up from where you left off once the distraction is no longer a disturbance. I suppose you could pause the conversation and not pick up from where you left off because both you and the other person want a way out of the conversation anyway.
Imagine speaking to someone and then flat out telling them youāre not interested in the conversation and physically removing yourself? It sounds hilarious (just picture it being said with a straight face), but in reality, it would come off as quite rude. However, on paper? You can do and say whatever you want and rewrite it a zillion times if you so please.
The same thing goes for composing an email or texting someone versus speaking to them on the phone. Do any of you get jittery and weird when you have to make a call or actually hold a real conversation with someone? Well, I do. Honestly. Thereās no shame or judgement here. I donāt know what it is, but Iād much rather send you a beautifully crafted email than have to talk on the phone. Iād also rather send a text than have to talk on the phone. Oh, and youāll love this one . . . I love writing letters! Handwritten letters, not typed lettersā100% handwritten. Why? Because itās much more personal. But itās also exciting (and refreshing) to receive something in the mail other than bills.
This is also very interesting because many people have told me that they prefer speaking on the phone instead of writing an email or sending a text, but part of me thinks itās because you typically get a much quicker response from that form of communication. Itās considered a ālive channel,ā whereas email or text are just āsitting in limbo.ā Right? You can easily leave your emails and texts unread but if youāre having a conversation with someone in āreal time,ā you sort of have to respond in order to keep the conversation going. Itās just a better flow that way, otherwise itās odd and uncomfortable if someone is talking to you and you just let their greeting sink in and marinate for an hour. People will start to wonder why you do things like that and whether or not you actually want to be present in that moment.Ā
I feel like weāre all a little misunderstood, whether our thoughts are on paper or spoken through our teeth. So, hereās to hoping that we will eventually all have mutual understandings, and enjoy the ups and downs or even the bizarre and interesting conversations being held around us.Ā
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Cassandra Di Lalla lives life purposefully. She enjoys reading, writing and mental health initiatives. She’s an animal lover for life and an innovative individual always finding new ways to create.
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Well written Cassandra.
I similarly enjoy writing letters, emails, or text š human contact speaking or phone calls – theyāre the worst!
In most cases itās because I find human conversations for the most part very boring (unlike our market chats and giggles). I canāt stand it when people chat about the weatherā¦I have an app for that! š
Cheers to another good read.
Mellie