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Cassandra Di Lalla (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

I hope and pray that this will be one of the easiest (if not the easiest) topics to write about. I say this because when I’m communicating in written form, versus actually speaking and holding a conversation, I am totally and completely in my element. It’s my comfort zone.

When I’m expressing myself in writing, I find that I feel more relaxed and at ease. I’m not having to come up with something to say instantaneously, nor do I have to worry about how to respond to someone.

A wave of anxiety washes over me when I have to speak out loud or hold a conversation with someone, and that’s mainly because I get nervous and uncomfortable. Sometimes when I’m feeling that way, I tend to ramble on and spew absolute nonsense, since my nerves get the best of me. Or, things just end up completely awkward to the point where I dread ever having to go through it again. Hence why I’d prefer to keep to myself unless I’m around people I’m already comfortable with, or people who know what to expect from me as a socially awkward and anxiety-ridden human being.

Another reason I find it a lot easier to express myself in writing is the simple fact that I can actually take the time to think about how I’m feeling and why I’m feeling that way. No stress, no pressure—just my thoughts and I. I feel a lot more comfortable writing everything out, rather than mouthing off a bunch of jargon that sounded better in my head than when I actually let those words roll off my tongue. 

When you’re holding a conversation with someone, whether they be your friend, a parent or sibling, a colleague, etc . . . it’s always live. It’s not pre-recorded, where you can listen to what the conversation will entail so that you know how to respond.

You can’t rewind and pretend that you weren’t just speaking out loud. It isn’t like erasing the words on paper and rewriting them. You can fast-forward by changing the topic, but those words were still said, and they were still part of that conversation.

You can pause the conversation by excusing yourself, but chances are that you’ll pick up from where you left off once the distraction is no longer a disturbance. I suppose you could pause the conversation and not pick up from where you left off because both you and the other person want a way out of the conversation anyway.

Imagine speaking to someone and then flat out telling them you’re not interested in the conversation and physically removing yourself? It sounds hilarious (just picture it being said with a straight face), but in reality, it would come off as quite rude. However, on paper? You can do and say whatever you want and rewrite it a zillion times if you so please.

The same thing goes for composing an email or texting someone versus speaking to them on the phone. Do any of you get jittery and weird when you have to make a call or actually hold a real conversation with someone? Well, I do. Honestly. There’s no shame or judgement here. I don’t know what it is, but I’d much rather send you a beautifully crafted email than have to talk on the phone. I’d also rather send a text than have to talk on the phone. Oh, and you’ll love this one . . . I love writing letters! Handwritten letters, not typed letters—100% handwritten. Why? Because it’s much more personal. But it’s also exciting (and refreshing) to receive something in the mail other than bills.

This is also very interesting because many people have told me that they prefer speaking on the phone instead of writing an email or sending a text, but part of me thinks it’s because you typically get a much quicker response from that form of communication. It’s considered a “live channel,” whereas email or text are just “sitting in limbo.” Right? You can easily leave your emails and texts unread but if you’re having a conversation with someone in “real time,” you sort of have to respond in order to keep the conversation going. It’s just a better flow that way, otherwise it’s odd and uncomfortable if someone is talking to you and you just let their greeting sink in and marinate for an hour. People will start to wonder why you do things like that and whether or not you actually want to be present in that moment. 

I feel like we’re all a little misunderstood, whether our thoughts are on paper or spoken through our teeth. So, here’s to hoping that we will eventually all have mutual understandings, and enjoy the ups and downs or even the bizarre and interesting conversations being held around us. 

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Cassandra Di Lalla lives life purposefully. She enjoys reading, writing and mental health initiatives. She’s an animal lover for life and an innovative individual always finding new ways to create.