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Deema Katrina Khalil (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Throughout my adult life, I have felt a sense of inadequacy about my achievements. I remember it starting when I got accepted into my first-choice program at a university in Montréal shortly after moving here. Being an immigrant, doubts crept into my mind, questioning whether I truly deserved that opportunity. A thought lingered: “Maybe exams back in my home country were easier compared to the ones in Canada.” I couldn’t escape the belief that if I had been born here, I wouldn’t have achieved as much. These feelings of unworthiness clung to me throughout my five years of studying Biochemistry with a minor in French studies. Constantly comparing myself to my classmates, I couldn’t help but think they were far smarter than I could ever be. Even after successfully completing all the required classes for a demanding five-year program, I couldn’t shake off the thought that “luck” had played a major role in my accomplishments.

 

Looking back on those days, I now see a perspective that eluded me back then. I had intentionally chosen one of the most challenging majors, and saw many of my classmates switch their paths or abandon their academic pursuits altogether. Despite not being the highest achiever, I gave it my all and never gave up. I should have been proud of myself for that. Meanwhile, a cloud of feeling undeserving overshadowed me.

 

After graduating, I faced the reality of having a science degree without practical experience in the field. This put me at a disadvantage compared to my peers who had internships and hands-on lab work. Combined with my imposter syndrome, though I didn’t recognize it as such at the time, it made things even more challenging. I had spent so many years on my education and the thought of not being able to secure a job terrified me. Surprisingly, this fear became my driving force, pushing me to work harder than ever.

 

Over the next three months, I was attending job search workshops, while also improving my resume and job search strategy. Drawing from my previous experience in customer service and a fair amount of volunteering, I decided to leverage those skills. It took months of putting in the effort, facing setbacks, making improvements, and more attempts. Finally, I received an interview invitation from a company where I had previously fallen short at the final stage. The HR department had told me that “the hiring manager was seeking someone with more experience.” However, this time, I was recommended to him not once, but twice, which led to another interview. And I was prepared to articulate my professional journey—past, present, and future. That interview ultimately landed me my first job. Everything went smoothly, and I felt as though I had found the perfect opportunity at the perfect moment in my life. But even then, a lingering thought persisted: “Did I exaggerate my skills during the interview? Maybe I simply got lucky.”

 

It wasn’t until the spring of 2022 that I searched deeper into the topic of imposter syndrome and began to truly understand and relate to this condition. Although I had come across the term in previous years, I hadn’t been able to understand its significance until then. It was a turning point for me. That year I started journaling daily, and taking the time to answer challenging introspective questions that pushed me to confront my innermost thoughts and feelings.

 

Prior to this point, I had a habit of pushing myself hard to achieve my goals, but as soon as I crossed that finish line, I would downplay all my efforts. Even when I was making progress in the present moment, a voice inside me whispered that my progress was just not that great. Those thoughts affected the way I viewed my education, work promotions, writing, drawing, and every other skill I developed over the years.

 

Another significant factor that fueled those negative thoughts was that I attributed success to public recognition and financial revenue. I believed that if my knowledge, or any skill I developed weren’t widely recognized or generating income, it couldn’t be considered a success. While that belief is far from the truth, I unfortunately see many people around me battling with those same thoughts. We see people online with millions of followers and dollars, and we think that numbers equate to value. Social media has created a very limited definition of success. And since we spend so much time navigating the internet, we may begin to have a diminished appreciation of the achievements we’re making in our personal lives, which don’t necessarily reach an audience and don’t generate income. This is why imposter syndrome is becoming more prominent in our lives nowadays.

 

If you deal with imposter syndrome or struggle to find what success means to you, I will share with you three pieces of advice from what I learned while navigating this topic and reflecting on my own experiences.

 

Advice #1: Be Proud of your Journey

Take the time to reflect on the challenges you have overcome, and the skills you have developed along the way. Take pride in your accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem. And recognize that your efforts and progress are meaningful, regardless of external validation or financial gains.

 

Advice #2: Challenge your Inner Critic

Imposter syndrome is often fueled by a harsh inner critic that undermines your confidence and highlights your perceived flaws. Take the time to challenge these negative thoughts and reframe them with positive affirmations. Remind yourself of your strengths, unique qualities, and the value you bring to the table.

 

Advice #3: Continue Growing and Learning

Imposter syndrome can be a result of feeling inadequate or unqualified in comparison to others. Instead of giving in to self-doubt, view it as an opportunity for growth. Embrace a mindset of continuous learning and improvement. Seek out new knowledge, skills, and experiences that will boost your confidence. Remember that everyone has room for growth and that learning is a lifelong journey.

 

I hope my story and advice can help you to gradually start to break free from the patterns of imposter syndrome. It’s an ongoing journey, and there will still be moments when imposter syndrome tries to resurface. But with consistent self-reflection, you can develop the awareness to acknowledge imposter syndrome patterns, challenge them, and continue to move forward with confidence and authenticity.

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Deema Katrina is a Blogger from Montreal, Canada. She comes from a science background and currently works in the drug development industry, but her interests go beyond that. Some of the topics she passionately explores are self-awareness, personal development and financial literacy. She believes that every person has the capacity to succeed when given the right tools and resources. Her goal is to share the knowledge she learned from delving into these topics, and help others become better versions of themselves.