Eri Ikezawa (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer
In a world that is rapidly evolving and globalizing through innovation and technology, it is often easy to get lost in the expectations set by others—whether it is in our inner circle like our friends and family, or within society at large. And perhaps this is just a personal experience of mine, but as I watch how quickly everything has changed even within the past decade or two, I find it difficult to contain feelings of great anxiety. There are so many aspects—including the housing and job markets, technological advancements, economic fluctuations and global relations—that feel so deeply out of my control, I occasionally am struck by helplessness and despair.
So, how do I combat this acute, profound foreboding?
I try to focus on what is within my control. Instead of getting entangled in the insidious trap of the macroscopic world, I hone into the microscopic—how can I contribute meaningfully to this world? And at risk of sounding cliché, how can I be the change that I want to see in the world? How do I perceive myself unconditionally? Outside of what I can actively offer or do for other people, am I inherently content with myself?
I think what helps ground me most, a gentle and humbling tether, is recognizing that—however ostensibly inconspicuous it may be—how I choose to conduct myself or improve myself is the best step in generating or inspiring small changes around me. Just like baby animals, shuddering and shaking tremulously as they take their first steps, choosing to challenge oneself and applying whatever changes are necessary feel like insurmountable obstacles at first.
In this pursuit to self-improvement, the one and only true stipulation I have set for myself is discerning that I do not always know better and I do not know everything. In fact, the reality is I will never know everything. Establishing this core criterion for myself is a way to remind myself that knowledge, pedantry and science can be rapidly altered or expanded upon when novel information is processed that upends previous evidence. It is my stance that once you believe you know everything, your ability to develop fizzles out—much like the tired wick of a well-loved candle. And then what? You are left in the dark cloak of ignorance and misinformation. It is important to remain malleable and flexible, allowing new experiences and information to sculpt and mould your views, like molten glass at the firm guidance of an experienced glassblower.
But with all this said, we can also get carried away if we aren’t too careful. Innocuous and respectable ambitions like self-improvement can take a sharp turn if we veer too carelessly into the territory of nocuous perfectionism—a fatal trap, the fangs of a serpent, glinting maliciously. If we stop allowing ourselves to have the space to blunder or fail, it could potentially incite an unhealthy relationship where we only equate our own self-worth to our accolades, achievements and successes.
Which then begs the question, how do we leap from self-improvement to self-acceptance? Especially for someone like me who is a proponent that I do not and will not know everything at any given time in my lifetime? Do I just make peace with that lack of complete and total knowledge? Or is there a way I can amalgamate both concepts, fusing my own fallibility whilst stimulating self-growth?
I don’t necessarily think the same answer applies to everyone, but for me, I recognize that I always am and will be a flawed individual. I accept that about myself; but this acceptance comes with the condition that, if I can distinguish any poignant or meaningful amendments that I can make to ameliorate myself, I will.
I am determined to ensure that, even as I advance further into my life, my desire to grow and learn never extinguishes. And for a moment, permit me to branch from the microscopic to the macroscopic level. Oftentimes, I see and worry how age and tradition leads to stagnation in growth, to people being unable and unwilling to adapt to contemporary times, refusing to face the reality of today, frozen and woven into the tapestry of yesterday.
While there are undeniable benefits and beauty to traditions, intricately embedded into a plethora of cultures worldwide, I think that there is always time and space to reconsider which aspects of traditions are worth preserving and which ones may need to be modified to adapt to present times. That is, it never hurts to contemplate how a former model or prototype can be tweaked for optimal performance and improvement—whether this is in relation to people, traditions or cultures. As long as the integrity of the original silhouette is maintained and acknowledged, it can only serve us better.
All in all, I think it all works in a cycle. If we identify areas, characteristics or attributes that could benefit from a tune-up, we should take the vehicle of our hearts, minds and souls into the shop—there is always some small way, within reason, that we can better ourselves. But again, it must occur harmoniously and in conjunction with self-acceptance; yes, we are imperfect and blemished, which is okay and we should accept that about ourselves. But how we choose to behave, act and react defines us more than our mistakes.
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My name is Eri Ikezawa and I have an extended minor in psychology and a major in linguistics. I’m still on the path to quelling questions about myself and the direction I want to head in, but in the meantime, I have always wanted to find a way to help others and contribute to a community dedicated to personal development and self-love.