Cassandra Di Lalla (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer
I live in a city of about 21,000 residents, so it can sometimes feel as though I’m in a small town and part of a very tight-knit community. I often run into the same people at the grocery store or at the ma and pa shops downtown.
However, living in a place with a fairly small population also means that everybody knows one another, or least a good amount of fellow residents. That also means that these people know you by your first name, they know your family members and basically your whole life story. People talk, and that’s just how the cookie crumbles, as they say.
Just because I live in a smaller city, it doesn’t automatically mean that I want every single person to know about my personal business, nor does it mean that I want to know about everybody else’s personal business either. There’s a difference between genuine concern and sheer nosiness. Unfortunately, many people stick their noses in other people’s business when, quite frankly, it most definitely doesn’t concern them.
I barely go out, but when I do, I’d like to be able to go to the places I want or need to go to without being bothered, or feeling like I have to be part of a conversation that I don’t want to be part of. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy conversing once in a while (not with everyone, but a select few people) so I will, the odd time. But I mostly keep to myself because I just don’t have the energy, the patience or the interest to hold a conversation with people I don’t know. I’ll remain as neutral and as civil as possible, but I do admit that it’s sometimes difficult if I’m being put in a situation that’s way out of my comfort zone.
I also feel that it’s okay for me not to want to talk, and instead just be free as a bird.
When people get to know you, they either love you or hate you. It’s a harsh reality, but it’s the truth. People will often pretend to like others, but they’ll never pretend to dislike others. Weird, isn’t it? Living in a smaller city is literally just “Take it or leave it” since it’s slim pickings—unless you leave the city, of course. It’s basically standard that everybody finds out about you and your life story sooner or later. And I hate that . . . every minute of it.
Ideally, I’d like to go about my business and not have to worry about running into so-and-so for fear that they’ll talk for hours on end or bring up somebody else’s personal life/issues. It’s none of my business what other people do or say, so why is such-and-such a person making it their business and then spreading the news to others like wildfire?! I know quite a few people in the city who are like that, and it drives me nuts!
Now, there’s also the flip side of things . . . I do find that the hospitality in a smaller community is vastly different than in a big city—especially if it’s a city that’s so overpopulated that it feels suffocating. Where I live, there’s a lot of country folk. A good percentage of the city I reside in is farmland and honestly, I love that. I love seeing that part of the city because it feels like I’m in the middle of nowhere in one area, only to realize that I’m actually still in the same city and haven’t left. Many homeowners who live on acres galore also have lots of fur friends—mainly horses—but other animals too. That is hands-down the most rewarding part of living in a smaller city and an area with lots of farmland. I wouldn’t change that for the world. Many farmers also put out a cart at the end of their driveway full of their own homegrown produce along with a glass mason jar, because they trust that passersby will place their cash in the jar after picking the produce they like. There’s something so nice and comforting about the fact that people do hold trust in others as much as they do. That’s the norm living around here, and it’s so refreshing.
I love the city I currently reside in, I really do, but I do feel that there are some people who need to just leave me alone and keep their distance. There will always be a bad apple (or a whole bag of them) regardless of where you reside or the community you’re regularly visiting. That’s just the way the world is. But I can honestly say that overall, I’m truly happy living where I do. The small-town vibe is much-needed, especially for those who struggle with large crowds or the rowdiness of a larger city.
It’s rewarding to be around the magic that a smaller city has to offer, but I do still need my own personal space to breathe, think, and just be.
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Cassandra Di Lalla lives life purposefully. She enjoys reading, writing and mental health initiatives. She’s an animal lover for life and an innovative individual always finding new ways to create.