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Neema Ejercito (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

What has been consistent with my pregnancy stories for all three kids is how their personalities as babies are still consistent to how they are currently. I have an adult and two teens, one of which is turning into an adult in three months! When I look at my eldest, I am still baffled that I truly raised another human being.

I have not come across any other parent who claims that their kids’s personalities’ have been consistent since they were babies. My eldest, for example, has very good fine motor skills. He is also a very neat eater, and was a very calm baby. In my tummy, he was very receptive to the music I played. Back in the day, there were no complete and comfortable gadgets to put on a pregnant lady’s tummy so that the baby could listen to classical music, which my husband had read would make for a smart baby. He did find what I would describe as larger than usual earphones, made to be put on my tummy and attached to our iPod (remember those?) with a playlist full of classical music and lullabies.

I would notice that when lullabies were played, the eldest would not be as active as when the more exciting classical pieces, like Mozart’s Eine kleine in Nachtmusik in G major, would play. And funnily enough, when he first saw a Little Einsteins video that played it with a visual of stars at night over a beautiful mountain landscape, he would call it “The Mountain Song,” one of his favourite pieces to hear.

Now he is still a proud, self-confessed and self-aware classical music snob.

When my second was in my tummy, he would NOT stop moving, no matter what music I played. My husband also said I was more lenient in my song choices, so if I was listening to EMF or Extreme,  (“Unbelievable” or “More Than Words”) I had him listen to the same. I also remember my third trimester being really uncomfortable because he would keep kicking my right rib; I didn’t know the position into which I should have adjusted myself. Sleeping became scarce. I had gotten so used to the pain, though, that by the time I finally gave birth to him, I realized immediately after, Oh, so that’s what my normal body feels like.

My pregnancy with the third was my most difficult one, because I had had two miscarriages prior to her. I recall my sister asking me after I had given birth whether it was all so worth it that I’d be willing to go through another one. It’s not a shocker that I gave her a big, flat NO. I wasn’t planning to get pregnant when I went to see my doctor to try to figure out what had been causing my miscarriages. Aside from the multitude of tests she required me to do, she also prescribed prenatal vitamins that I would not take because I did not want to be pregnant again. When the stick showed that line and I went to tell her, she asked if I had been taking my prenatals and I promptly started taking them.

At five months of pregnancy, she had me take a test to check if the baby had Down syndrome. I didn’t have to do that with my pregnancies with the boys, and at the time, this was an optional test, but given my miscarriages, she required me to take it. I thought then that tests like that help would-be parents prepare for the parenting that lay ahead. I also know now that they give women a chance to make a choice, and though I would not feel the same, I reasoned that in my case, the results would help me prepare.

I also had to inject myself with heparin, which I did for my first and third trimesters. I even cheated a bit due to my youngest brother’s Philippine wedding and did not tell my doctor that I was taking an at-least two-hour long drive to and from the provincial resort where it would be held. I also had to make sure the heparin stayed a certain temperature, otherwise its effectiveness would be void.

I don’t know if my daughter’s very apologetic personality now is due subconsciously to all of that. If my theory about my kids having consistent personalities from birth to present holds, that is a possibility. I have often wondered why it was so easy for her to apologize or even why the first song she composed was titled “Not Allowed,” but perhaps my kids have been interacting with me as much as I them, even as they were being formed.

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Ever since watching Better Man with her second son, Neema Ejercito has not stopped listening to Robbie Williams’ Live at Knebworth album on Spotify. She even writes to it, but has also discovered that writing to Death Grips is actually quite cathartic, releasing some anger and helping with her peace. She is a mother to two other humans and a bunch of plants, all of whom she adores and loves watching grow.