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Jihu Lee (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

At some point in our lives, we may have wished to return to childhood, or at least the time when we seemed to know only happiness and an end to responsibilities that come with growing up. Here is the catch though: even children have complex emotions and much more depth than we give them credit. Throughout my life, I can’t recall having a unidimensional personality or state of mind. My hobbies, interests and emotional states were constantly changing as a child and even now, I have not attained a permanent state of myself. 

People may refer to personal tastes as ‘phases’ as if it’s something bad or embarrassing. But whether something is long-term or short-term does not determine its significance. Rather, if you enjoy it, then it’s important to you! You liked horseback riding a month ago but now you find peace in incense candles and watercolour art? Fantastic! Keep exploring and discovering new interests whether that’s one new hobby a year or twenty in a month. 

Even the intangible aspects of ourselves, like our feelings and personality types, are far more flexible and multifaceted than we think. But I have found myself in countless situations where I feel pressured to show a certain side of myself while hiding the rest. For instance, generally speaking, I uphold – often unrealistically – high expectations for myself in everything that I do. Thus, I would be terrified of revealing my failures and other setbacks in academics, music, sports and even as a daughter, sister and friend. Another circumstance that is probably relatable for many people is hesitating to reach out for help when you are usually the helper. 

Relatedly, there is a prevailing belief that positive and happy emotions are ‘good’ while feelings like anger, anxiety, uncertainty or sadness are ‘bad.’ As a preface, it is definitely true that we are still responsible for our actions despite the validity of our emotions. In other words, being hurt does not justify hurting others. But, having to properly regulate challenging emotions does not make them bad. Instead of jumping to thoughts like “I shouldn’t be feeling this way,” what if we were curious about how we feel and explored the bigger picture of what is going on? As human beings, we are complex and multidimensional, so I encourage everyone to replace aversion with curiosity whenever we are confronted by challenging emotions. 

At the end of the day, we are all made up of unique parts that make us who we are. We can’t expect ourselves to live up to only a single part because we embody so much more. I hope we all become comfortable in embracing all of who we are and surround ourselves with people who accept and support us in all that we are as well.

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My name is Jihu, and I’m from Salt Lake City, Utah! I have been with Low Entropy since May 2021. Some of the things I love are reading, writing, listening to music, playing with my dogs and spending time with my sister!