Grace Cheng (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer
Life always throws us challenges at times when we do not want it to. The toughest time for me was when I had to figure out a way to hold on to a stressful job while also having to take care of sick parents in their old age. There were times when I had to fight with myself to be able to live each day, when the only thing that was visible to me was the darkness of the future.
The days went by very slowly, and I could barely get any sleep at night. Their condition had worsened so much that hospital visits were my everyday routine. The pile of deadlines was increasing at my job, and the demand to live up to increasing standards was unending. The pull of both worlds was strong, one asking me to be the best professional I could, and the other asking me to be treated with dignity and tender, loving care. The feeling of obligation was rising, and my concern for my own health was going down.
I doubt I could have managed all of that, had it not been for my community standing behind me. Word of my situation spread quickly within circles of friends and neighbors. Then came the offers of assistance. A number of people had suggested coming over to help with the errands, getting the medications, or even just sitting with my parents and enjoying a cup of coffee so that I could take a break. My friends, for instance, visited my parents in shifts, so they would not be alone when I had to leave for my work.
My local community center introduced me to a respite care organization, and people would call us periodically from time to time. Co-workers were willing to help me when I had to leave work early for doctor appointments and to take care of my psychological health. It was their understanding that allowed me to be a full-time employee while still being the best kid I could be. I was astonished by how people involved with us came together without judgment, without us owing anyone a thing.
However, what was equally vital was the support system. There were days when there were things I had to attend to, and when I was tired when I wanted to lament. What kept me going was getting that message from a friend or just finding that positive message stuck in my door. There were words of encouragement and reminders that I had to take care of my own health too. These messages of care and hope were small bursts of adrenaline for me.
Once my parents got well and settled things at my workplace, I knew it was time to give back. I started by helping out at a community center close to me. I also attended support groups and made it a point to reach out to anyone close to me whom I could help. And once I started doing good unto other people, one good action triggered another, and our relationships got stronger.
This really changed my feelings about community. Community was an experience that I had. I realized that accepting help did not mean I was a failure; instead, it meant that we were in this thing together. The help that I received from my community also showed me the value of reaching out and checking in. Among the strongest relationships I had developed in my personal and professional careers were those which were founded on the aforementioned experiences.
When I think about it, I feel so blessed. I did not have to bear the burden by myself. My community was always there, like a safety net that I could rely on when I was weak and a source of motivation when I wanted to give up. They were the reason I had survived the hard times, and my motivation to give back and help others. I came to understand that it was not necessarily the big things, but the small kindnesses that make us feel significant, protected and recognized.
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Grace has an accounting and finance background. She enjoys reading, writing, listening to music, watching movies and playing sports.