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Julia Magsombol (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my 20s, it’s that there are only three things that last long in this lifetime of ours: taxes, change and problems. Think of a time when you never had any problems? Nothing. Problems come in all forms every day—whether they’re small or huge. We just carry them somehow. I may have not lived long enough to know everything, but as a young adult, I somehow realized how problems are inevitable—and I learned it the hard way.

 

Sometimes, you eat alone at your dining table at night. And you question things, “why on earth your family is not your number one supporter?” or “why can’t they accept me?” Thoughts like those slap you in the face (and maybe your heart too).

 

You have to get a stable job soon but first, to expect a lot of job rejections. What is the other way to support yourself? What’s the other way to survive capitalism?

 

You learn more about friendships—that all of you are different. All of you grow in different ways. All of you go in different directions.

 

And what’s worse, you also learn that love is not simple as it is. You learn more about relationships—that they can be very messy and fixing them will make them worse. Love and relationship are swords that can stab you in the heart in the best way possible.

 

You tend to compare your life to others. Trust me, this is wrong and toxic, but even if you don’t want to compare, you end up being that way when you see yourself stagnant in one place.

 

Finally, before sleeping, you somehow learn that uncertainties kill. The future can keep you up all night. You wonder what could’ve been like in the next three or four years. Will I be in a better place? Will I finally like where I am? You want everything to be answered. You want your life to start as soon as possible. You want your time to rotate fast—to happen quickly, and to skip its fleeting moments.

 

You learn more about yourself. You realize your faults. You hurt the people you love.

 

And even if you read thousands of self-help books, it just doesn’t feel right. Even if you listen to podcasts or watch YouTube videos to solve your problems on becoming better, it doesn’t help. You are as problematic as your problems. And worse, you face all these problems alone—not having anyone to talk to. Maybe there is, but their comfort is not enough because you know they can’t solve your own problems. It’s painful, but it doesn’t stop. It’s like a food cycle. It’s tiring. You just want to float.

 

But guess what: problems may become worse when you get older. Problems are forever and there’s nothing we can do about it. We may solve some of them, but also not. That’s one thing I’ve learned the hard way during my sleepless nights. The problems that are not fixable just come and go. We have to deal and learn with them, but it may also be better to just accept and let them go.

 

In the end, there’s only one thing I can say: Let it out. Scream. Be angry. But my friend, still try to smile and to be happy once in a while because that’s how we will survive and live long.

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Julia Magsombol is currently a journalism student from Edmonton, Canada, who desires to bring hope to people through her writing. When not writing or reading, you can catch her sewing clothes, painting nature and drinking instant coffee.