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Isabella Wen (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

We’ve all been told to “take the high road,” “just let it go” or “be the bigger person.” 

We’ve all learned it’s easier to say these things than to do them. 

Forgiveness is difficult, to forgive all the pain and bitterness inflicted on you, whether it be from another’s actions, or even your own. To forgive is to let go.

I’ve always found it hard to let go. I am often unable to forgive myself after making a mistake at work or saying the wrong thing to a friend. I still hold, heavy in my heart, painful grudges against those who hurt me, thinking, if I don’t forgive them, maybe some otherworldly divine punishment will occur. Or even thinking that I can’t let my own actions off the hook that easily. I deserve punishment. 

Although it may not seem like it, these grudges accumulate, creating an invisible boulder on our backs. It weighs down on us, hurting us as time passes, until all we can think about is our hate.

Forgiveness lifts this boulder off our backs. It makes us feel light and free, comfortable with ourselves. It allows us to be our best versions and to prevent the bitterness of our situations from holding us back. 

Remember that forgiveness doesn’t mean an action was right. Forgiveness is to accept an action was wrong, and move on. To never forgive is to let your pain control you. To let it dictate your decisions, your happiness, your life.

To heal, it is necessary to release your anger and adopt a growth mindset, consistently practicing self-love and providing yourself with the space and the mindfulness needed to lift a heavy weight. Being unable to forgive at first is normal. Forgiving takes time — if not months, then years. Oftentimes healing is a lifelong journey. 

At the end of the day, forgiving isn’t about taking the moral high road, or being the better person. It’s a step in healing to become a happier you. 

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Isabella Wen is a high school student who uses writing as both an outlet and a way to contribute to a community. She hopes to influence and inspire others through Low Entropy’s platform.