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Olivia Callari (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Does anyone truly know the meaning of culture? Surely, when asked about our own, the idea feels as familiar as the back of one’s hand. Culture surrounds us, it is us and it becomes us.

 

When culture is rooted within us, regardless of how we came to be immersed in it, it is appreciated and held with a high level of pride. With this pride can come infinite possibilities, both good and bad. A deep love for one’s culture and being connected through it can revive those who feel lost and disillusioned. It can mend the broken and help them carry on for years and years. But it can also be like asking a patriotic person what they think about their country. Their response might be “I love my country,“ but when questioned about the controversial issues about it, their response would simply remain that they love their country. 

 

Is it common for us to love our cultures without recognizing and holding them accountable for their negative aspects? This was a question I had lingering in my mind for years and years while growing up in a rather traditional Italian culture. I have so much love and pride for my community and my roots, but there were many things that made me itch my head and wonder how they could be played off as part of the culture and tradition.

 

The main thing I wondered about the most was the excusing of hurtful behaviour amongst members of my family. Time and time again I witnessed many fights and many hurtful things being said, as well as some physicality every once in a while. While re-reading this, I heard the little voice in my head say, “Yeah, but that’s how Italians are.”

 

As I began my path to healing, once and for all, it was time to face the parts of me and traumas that I had neglected because I was conditioned to believe the behaviours that caused them were just a “cultural thing.” It was so embedded in me to attribute those behaviours to my culture that I had, in fact, developed a resentment towards it. I wasn’t able to separate my relatives’ individual actions from my culture.

 

With the need to separate from the people who made me feel unsafe, sad and afraid around them came great backlash. I was made to seem unfit to ever be a proper “Italian woman.” I was seen as weak because I chose to appreciate my culture in my own way after healing. 

 

The only regret I had was not knowing sooner that I could be happy in my culture by allowing myself to interpret it my own way. By detaching myself from a cycle of excusing my emotions in the name of culture, I found myself appreciating it even more.

 

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Olivia is a film and television certificate student at NYU Tisch and a recent graduate from Dawson College in cinema and communications. Having grown up in Montreal, Quebec, Olivia has surrounded herself with different cultures and means of creative expression, with hopes to one day incorporate it into her film and television work. Through writing and other forms of artistic expression, Olivia has a natural desire to help others overcome their inhibitions and reach their fullest potential.