Building that Bridge
May 21, 2021
You can build it, once plank at a time: Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Kanak Khatri writes on how achieving confidence can simply be a matter of working your way toward it.
The best explanation that I have for confidence is that it stimulates a situation where there are admirers and a performer. A performer can be someone who just does something better and, because of that, has more confidence. However, I have always felt that the difference between spectator and performer is the time and effort that anyone can put in to become better in something and, hence, more confident.
But why is it important to become more confident?
Imagine yourself mesmerising a crowd in a TED Talk in the future. That’s one way to envision the benefits of confidence in action.
You can seize opportunities that pass by, and the positive results will build your confidence. Ace that interview or climb that corporate ladder. Personally, I let a few opportunities pass by without even considering them, as I was not confident in myself. You, with confidence, will also be able to stand up for yourself, be it in front of a manager with unrealistic expectations or within a toxic relationship.
All in all, confidence might not prevent difficulties from occurring in your life, but it will equip you to handle them in more efficient ways.
Where is the handbook to become more confident?
There is no one method that can fit all different cases, because we all lack confidence in different aspects of our lives. The only fundamental technique that might apply is to get out of your comfort zone and start building the bridge toward confidence. When we see confident people, we do not see the trials, errors and failed attempts that led to their current positions. For instance, I used to be very unconfident when speaking publicly, be it in a school presentation or just answering a professor’s question in class.
I came to a situation where I did not want to live without confidence any more, so I exposed myself slowly to speaking publicly. Working at a fast food joint helped a little, as it required me to constantly talk to customers. Whenever I had a presentation, I would put effort into preparation and practice, which also helped me be more confident. Practicing in front of two people, then three, and eventually a bunch more helped as well.
Similarly, if you’re not confident talking to someone, maybe practice talking to familiar, supportive people, and practice the conversation in your head before talking to them. One day, eventually, you will eventually be a pro without even realising it.
I also realised that my attire and the way I looked were also determinants that affected my confidence. If looking a certain way makes you feel confident, I would suggest you go for it.
Let’s take another scenario: say, for instance, I am not confident in my photography. I would take suggestions from someone skilled in photography and learn ways to improve. With that feedback, I would improve and become more confident.
Building that bridge
I realised that developing confidence was important to growing as a person, and the only way to do it was to get out of my comfort zone, as scary as it seemed. Failing and being nervous of uncharted territories are part of the process. The people we admire have been through failures, and we should look up to them for inspiration. Building that bridge and reaching your goal of being more confident may be a treacherous project but, in the end, is worth it.
In what area of life would you like to feel more confident? Share your ambitions with the supportive and positive Low Entropy community in the comments below, on any of our social media platforms, or in person at a Low Entropy meet-up!
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