Kaisha Vicenal (she/her), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer
We’re first faced with expectations as early as infancy. We’re inserted into a schedule that dictates our most basic bodily functions, like when we start talking or walking. Then competition with peers at school begins: good grades, sports, or extracurricular achievements. It will not get better as we get older. The burden gets heavier as people reach adulthood and society puts pressure on work, marriage, having kids, wealth, and status. Some, if not most people, feel frustrated when their lives don’t follow that “timeline.” They get overwhelmed with a never-ending pursuit of society’s approval.
We spend so much of our lives asking what we can add—another achievement, another possession, another title, another milestone. To keep up, we tend to do more, to do better until it gets exhausting.
When is enough ever enough?
How much money is enough?
How big should the house be to be big enough?
How many cars are enough vehicles?
How much power and influence to have enough impact?
To what extent can we go until we can say “this is enough.”
Success can be understood not only by how much we can accomplish, but also by how much we’re willing to let go. Peace is a beautiful success, and to attain it takes time and courage. In that time, we realize what matters most, and find courage to admit what we really want and need.
Let us not confuse having no ambition with contentment, though. We can still grow as people without the pressure of being the best. Anyway, the real competition is not between ourselves and other people, but rather between our current and future selves. We could still work hard but not so hard that it completely consumes us. Achievement and fulfilment are not the same thing. We may achieve so much in life but most of the time it somehow feels hollow and empty.
Would it not be great to live not to impress the world, but to have a truly meaningful life?
It might feel like we’ll have to make ourselves smaller, if we choose a simpler life. It takes courage to choose enough. Enough people who actually see our value– a smaller but well-meaning circle is better than a big crowd of masks and noise. And enough rest that won’t make us feel guilty– owe it to our body to relax and our mind to reset after working so hard.
Being at peace with having enough could also mean having less, but with intention. More does not always mean better. It simply means we are being thoughtful about what, or who, deserves a place in our life. Having less creates space for what matters most.
Space for people who we share mutual values with.
Space for fun and creativity
Space for serenity
Space for doing something we are passionate about
Space for putting ourselves unapologetically out there.
To bring a little bit of my personal experience in, for a long time, I thought I had to prove that I was okay. Even if I was shattered to pieces, I still kept going thinking that somehow, each piece would finally be put back in its place. I worked harder and tried to become better. I stayed in situations because leaving felt like I had failed again. I thought that if I presented the ideal version of myself, I would gain the world’s respect and admiration.
The rules that I’ve put on myself every day suffocated me over time. I got tired of living for others and giving, when it was slowly draining me. I gave more than enough of myself, and finally, I told myself I don’t want to pretend anymore.
Pretend that I don’t get hurt.
Pretend that I can do anything on my own
Pretend that I have everything figured out.
Because it gets lonely in the end.
Today, I have a very different perspective on what I do and don’t want, a different measure of more and less.
I want a life that exists only to impress God.
I want a relationship that feels safe and values me.
I do not want to measure my success merely by accomplishment, but rather by self-fulfillment.
I do not need more things, just simpler ones.
And I want a smaller authentic circle of people.
Perhaps we need to redefine ambition. Ambition can be something other than having more or climbing higher. It can also mean that, by having the courage to choose less, we protect what matters most.
Our time.
Our peace.
Our person.
Our health.
There is ambition in building a life we don’t constantly need to escape from. There is ambition in choosing meaningful work over impressive work. That kind of ambition may not always receive applause but it can change how we experience our entire lives.
It is such a liberating experience to want less but experience more in life.
Kaisha loves to weave meaningful moments through words by writing and images through photography and arts. A music lover and proud mother of two wonderful sons, she draws inspiration from life experiences, human connections, and the beauty of everyday moments.