Lines in the Sand
November 17, 2021
Kanak Khatri, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer
Have you ever thought, “That was too much. It was unfair, toxic and just not something that I deserved?”
I have felt the same. The 28-year-old me really wants to go back in time and help the 12-year-old, 13-year-old and so many other past versions of me draw boundaries and stand up for themselves, because they did not know any better.
Now that I know how important setting boundaries is, I want to spread the message. However, I really want to go back in time and gauge why I was having difficulty. Well, the reasons were simple: I was not educated by my teachers or parents, nor was I confident and mature enough to develop that kind of wisdom on my own. I was taught, and thought, this is how it is, I guess I must suffer. And so there I was, in a repetitive cycle of lacking the confidence to keep people from pushing my limits, which in turn further deteriorated my confidence.
For people who find this whole scenario a little too familiar, it’s time to set those boundaries straight and strong, such that people become afraid of even being tempted to put your limits to the test. Initially, it might seem like an impossible task, but it might help to start by saying no to the people who seem to take advantage of you, are toxic to you or are bullying you.
For instance, say no to that person who only remembers you when they need a favour. And that person who tells you are not good enough, tell them that you are good enough, for yourself and for the people who love you. Slowly but surely you all will find yourself surrounded by healthy boundaries. For me, my manager does not bother me unnecessarily, because well, she got an answer when she did. People think twice before messing with me. My mother, to date, tells me to not get into arguments even for the right reasons, but I guess I grew out of the beliefs that were ingrained in me as a child.
Please, please and please, teachers and parents, inculcate healthy boundaries in young minds from the start. Help them be more confident and realise their full potential. And to anyone reading this who does not struggle with boundaries, please be kind. Let’s build a world where we empower each other.
To my warriors out there, defend your boundaries, make people scared to mess with you. You don’t owe your life to anybody else. You owe it to yourself to keep yourself happy and healthy by setting happy, healthy boundaries: you can do it.
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