Tag: Mothers

Grace Cheng (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

While motherhood is a title given at birth, its true essence is shaped by experiences, commitment and unconditional love. A mother’s journey is not a destination, but one that involves constant learning, adjusting and evolving with her children. In terms of what makes a mother a “good” one, there is no single blueprint, since it is a profoundly personal concept influenced by cultural perspectives. We can, however, follow some principles that will help us become the caring, supportive and empowered figures that our children need.

• The Importance of Presence and Connection in Building the Foundation

Becoming an effective mother begins with being present. Being physically available is not enough; you must actively engage with your children and acknowledge and validate their feelings and experiences. It is essential to spend quality time with your children by listening without judgment and looking at the world from their perspective in an environment filled with distractions. By nurturing attunement, you can recognize and respond to your child’s verbal and non-verbal cues. Your ability to recognize their subtle expressions of happiness, discomfort or fear will enable you to offer them the support, encouragement and comfort they need. The goal of attunement is not to predict all their needs or hover over them, but rather to be able to respond to their ever-changing emotional needs as they arise.

• The Myth of the “Perfect Mother” and Accepting Imperfection

Mothers should avoid chasing perfection. Pressure from society and the media to be flawless often leads to anxiety, guilt and self-doubt. Great mothers learn to embrace their flaws and accept that perfection is unattainable. Showing vulnerability and admitting mistakes and learning from them are the keys to teaching our children resilience, self-compassion and the courage to persevere. It is only by accepting our children’s imperfections that we can create a relationship that is authentic, connected and mutually satisfying.

• Safe Havens and Strong Foundations: Establishing a Secure Bond

Attachment theory emphasizes the importance of establishing a secure connection with your child. In times of stress, you need to be a consistent, reliable source of comfort and support. Attachment is a foundation for emotional health, self-worth and forming strong relationships. A great mother not only provides her child with security, but also gives them a solid foundation from which to explore the world. By encouraging independence, sparking curiosity and providing guidance, they can explore and test their boundaries. Having a solid foundation helps children develop confidence, self-reliance and the belief that they can achieve their goals. 

• Nurturing Yourself First: The Need for Self-Care

Mothers often overlook self-care, but this is a crucial aspect of motherhood. The challenge of burnout is real, and a mother who is depleted is not able to nurture her child effectively.  Maintaining your emotional health and preventing exhaustion requires prioritizing your well-being, which includes engaging in activities that refresh your mind, body and spirit. Taking care of yourself can take many forms, from simple pleasures, like relaxing with a book, to more involved activities, like exercising or socializing. Self-care is not selfish; rather, it ensures that you have the energy and emotional resources to be the best mother you can be for your children.

• Empowering Your Child to Develop a Sense of Responsibility and Growth

Great mothers know the importance of providing a loving and supportive environment, as well as encouraging their child’s independence and responsibility. By gradually letting go of control and offering them the opportunity to make their own choices, even if those choices cause them to make mistakes, you are allowing them to make their own choices. Giving children the chance to face the natural consequences of their actions is a powerful teaching tool. Developing these skills helps them develop responsibility, problem-solving skills and a sense of independence. Making them accountable for their choices gives them the tools to become self-sufficient, responsible adults.

• Active Listening and Honest Communication

Communication is the key to a strong relationship with your children. Safe spaces allow children to express their emotions, concerns and thoughts without fear of judgment. Active listening is a key component of this process. You should listen to your children not only for their words, but also for their tone, body language and unspoken messages. You must set aside your own opinions to understand their viewpoint. Active listening demonstrates to your children that you value their feelings and care about what they have to say.

• Demonstrating Desired Behavior Through Examples

Leading through actions appeals to children, and a great mother recognizes the importance of setting a good example. You can instill the qualities you want in your children—such as kindness, honesty, resilience and empathy—by modeling them, rather than simply instructing them. Embracing these virtues teaches your children what it means to be a good person, a responsible community member and a loving family member. Your example will motivate them to strive for the best version of themselves by setting a high standard.

• The Changing Face of Motherhood: Continuous Growth

The journey of motherhood is dynamic and ever-evolving. The needs and challenges of your children will evolve throughout their growing years, and so must your parenting approach. For navigating this constantly changing path, staying informed about child development, seeking advice from other parents and being open to new approaches are all crucial. The best mothers constantly challenge their assumptions, learn from their mistakes and strive to be the best parents they can be.

• Security and Self-Worth Come from Unconditional Love

The most important aspect of being a good mother is offering unconditional love and acceptance. You should love your children as they are, not as you envision them. Embracing their flaws, celebrating their strengths and supporting their journey to self-discovery are integral parts of this process. Unconditional love fosters self-worth and creates a sense of security for children. They feel valued, safe and loved no matter what they achieve or what mistakes they might make. They are encouraged to take risks, pursue their passions and grow into their best selves through this unwavering support.

In conclusion, the key to being a good mother is not to follow a rigid set of rules or strive for an unattainable goal. Embrace your child’s journey, pay attention to their needs, nurture a secure bond, prioritize self-care and empower them to grow into an independent, responsible and loving adult. Safe haven, security and unconditional acceptance are all part of the foundation. As a mother, nurturing comes down to being unwavering in your commitment to your child’s well-being and believing in their potential.

—

Grace has an accounting and finance background. She enjoys reading, writing, listening to music, watching movies and playing sports.

 

Diny Davis (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

“Behind all your stories is always your mother’s story, because hers is where yours begins” – Mitch Albom

Growing up, our mothers play a crucial role in shaping who we become. They are our first teachers, nurturers and role models. As I reflect on my childhood and the lessons I’ve learned, I realize just how much my mom has taught me over the years. In this blog post, I’ll share some of the most important lessons my mother has passed on to me, and why mothers are often considered the best role models and sources of inspiration. Mothers hold a special place in our hearts and society.

Kindness and Empathy

My mom always emphasized the importance of being kind to others. She taught me that helping others brings joy to both the giver and the receiver, and small acts of kindness can make a big difference in someone’s day.

Hard Work and Perseverance

One of the most valuable lessons my mom taught me was the importance of hard work and never giving up. She showed me that success comes from dedication and effort. And the challenges that we face are opportunities for growth.

Watching her juggle multiple responsibilities made me realize that it’s not impossible to multitask, setting an inspiring example for me to follow.

Financial Responsibility

My mom made sure I understood the value of money from a young age. She taught me the importance of saving for the future, and how to budget and prioritize our expenses. She also made me understand the difference between needs and wants so that I didn’t spend on unnecessary things. These lessons have been invaluable in helping me manage my finances as an adult.

Self-Care and Health

Taking care of oneself was another important lesson my mom instilled in me. She emphasized that a balanced diet and regular exercise are very important for longevity. At the age of 65, her focus on self-care as she prioritizes her morning yoga and evening walk has helped me to maintain a healthier lifestyle as I’ve grown older.

The Power of Education

My mom always stressed the importance of learning and expanding one’s knowledge. She taught me that education is a lifelong journey, and curiosity and asking questions lead to growth. Her encouragement to pursue knowledge has fueled my passion for learning throughout my life.

The Best Role Model

Mothers often set the standard for behavior, work ethic and values within the family. Their actions speak louder than words, showing children how to navigate life’s challenges with grace and determination.

Teaching Life Skills

From cooking and cleaning to managing finances and maintaining relationships, mothers are often our first teachers in essential life skills. They prepare us for the world beyond our homes.

Emotional Intelligence

Mothers can excel in understanding and managing emotions, both their own and those of others. This ability to empathize and communicate effectively can make them excellent role models for emotional intelligence.

Unconditional Love

The depth of a mother’s love is often described as unconditional. This selfless devotion can inspire us to be more compassionate and caring in our own relationships.

Creating a Home

Beyond just a physical space, mothers often create a sense of “home” —a place of comfort, safety and belonging for their families. We might have a favourite meal that is cooked by mom and, no matter how many times you make it, trust me, it doesn’t taste like mom makes. Right?

Advocate and Protector

Mothers frequently serve as their children’s first and most passionate advocates, protecting them and fighting for their best interests. Making sure that her children are getting what they deserve and seeing them happy is what makes a mom the happiest.

Nurturing Growth

Mothers are typically at the forefront of their children’s development, fostering physical, emotional and intellectual growth with unwavering dedication. I am so proud to mention that my mom has excelled in all her roles, be it as a wife, mother, mother-in law or grandmother. 

The lessons my mom taught me have shaped who I am today. Her wisdom, love and guidance have been invaluable in my personal growth and development. As I continue to navigate life’s challenges, I’m grateful for the strong foundation she provided and the endless support she continues to offer.

Their love, dedication and resilience make them outstanding role models and sources of inspiration for us all. Mothers are the nurturers, caregivers and often the unsung heroes of our lives.

—

Diny Davis is an aspiring author who is passionate about fitness and a strong believer in the close connection between physical and mental health. She is a journalism, psychology and literature graduate, a loving wife, and a caring mother who maintains a balance in her work and personal lives while giving emphasis to self-care.

 

Cassandra Di Lalla (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

My mom is the definition of perfect in my eyes. She’s done everything right in terms of being my mother. She’s always given me unconditional love, care and support, despite me being a lot to handle sometimes. 

I already tell my mom how much I love her and how much I care about her. I also tell her how important she is to me and how I couldn’t imagine life without her. I fear for that day to come, when my mother is no longer walking the earth. What will I do without my mom? How will I manage without her? 

I don’t know what it is, but my mother’s love and the comfort she brings me are always things I’ll hold on to. I don’t think age has anything to do with it, because I will always need my mom. When I’m not feeling well—whether it’s my mind, body or soul—who do you think I go to? My mom. She seems to know what to do or what to say 99% of the time. I may not agree with all of it, but it doesn’t even matter, because she knows best. I truly believe that. 

I view my mom as a healer, and I wish I’d tell her that more often. Motherly instinct? I don’t know, because I don’t think I’d ever have those kinds of superpowers. And yes, I call them superpowers, because in what world would I ever be able to amount to her capabilities? She’s very strong-willed. There have been many occasions where her healing has been miraculous. I’ve struggled in more ways than one and believe me, my mom was my guiding light. How did she do it? No idea, but I’m grateful. 

I wish I’d tell her more often how proud I am of her. I’m proud of her dedication and drive that allowed her to achieve many great things in life. I’m proud to call her my mom, and I’d choose her as my mom in every single lifetime. I’m so happy that she finally retired and is giving herself the time to do the things that she loves. It’s well deserved.

I wish I’d tell her more often that her gut instinct is accurate 99% of the time, and I wish I’d stop myself from being so stubborn sometimes. I would say “thank you” more often, because I’m more thankful than I ever really express. I don’t think my mom will ever truly know or understand the positive impact she has had on my life so far. She’s managed to pull me out of some really dark places, and she’s managed to do it with grace. She’s able to redirect my energy and shift my focus when she knows I’m unable to do so myself.

I wish I’d tell her more often that the things I’m suffering through do not equate to her being a bad mom. My traumas have zero reflection on her as a mother. She’s not responsible for my pain. I wish she knew that she’s one of the very few people I’m comfortably vulnerable with, and that she’s my angel on Earth.

I wish I’d tell her more often that the petty arguments we have will mean nothing the next day, because my love for her is stronger than the anger or sadness I feel in those moments. 

I wish I’d tell her more often how appreciative I am of the lessons she’s taught me and all the creative freedom she’s given me from day one. She’s always been supportive of my creative endeavours, and not once did she ever say no when I wanted to partake in a million and one different activities or programs. And still to this day, she encourages me to do the things I love most, putting top priority on making sure they bring me peace or put my mind at ease.

I wish I’d tell her more often to not take things so seriously. Life is too short not to laugh, smile or be silly. My mom worries a lot, and she doesn’t let the little kid in her come out too often. I wish I’d encourage that more, because having fun is one of life’s many pleasures. She needs to know that her age shouldn’t define how often she can laugh or goof around. Her chronological age shouldn’t be the reason why she cannot enjoy funny videos or laugh at clothes not fitting right. Laughing costs nothing. 

I wish, I wish, I wish . . . a million times over . . . that she would know how irreplaceable she is and how much I value her.

She’s not only my mom, she’s my best friend.

—

Cassandra Di Lalla lives life purposefully. She enjoys reading, writing and mental health initiatives. She’s an animal lover for life and an innovative individual always finding new ways to create.