Category: Healing

The Crucial Shift Toward Rehabilitation

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Seth Grimes, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

In the U.K., recidivism rates are up to 72% within five years. For the U.S., it’s 76.6%, and Canada’s ranges from 37.9% to 52% from two to five years. This means that, within five years, more than half of those released from prison in those countries will end up back there. This is creating a cycle that destroys the lives of not only those going to jail, but the families that are left behind. Children raised in single parent households are more likely to experience challenges related to poverty, as well as behavioural, emotional and educational issues. This also hurts the parent left in the community, who now must somehow generate income and raise a child at the same time.

So, which countries are doing well when it comes to recidivism? One of the best-known countries in this respect is Norway, with rates of 20%-25% from two to five years. One in four people still isn’t ideal, but it’s a far cry from the numbers seen in Canada or the U.S.. Norway is clearly on the right path, but how did they manage to get there?

Norway wasn’t always known for its low rates. In fact, they had a 70% reoffending rate after two years of being released back in the 90s. The first thing they did was focus on rehabilitation over punishment. This is the opposite of what some groups are calling for right now in the U.S., where they are in fact asking for harsher punishments. They claim that the prison system is too soft, yet we have seen in studies that harsher punishment does not have a deterrent effect. Just thinking of this on a micro level, a child does not learn a lesson if you punish them for doing something wrong. They learn when they are told what they did wrong and what they can gain from doing the right thing.

Many of Norway’s prisons are considered to not even be that, but actually rehabilitation centres. They focus on giving prisoners the tools to turn their lives and mentalities around. Many say that this is not real punishment for people who have committed crimes such as murder or rape, but the philosophy underlying this statistically more successful system is that taking away an individual’s liberty is punishment enough. The claims that it is too nice due to prisoners getting free education, exercise with trainers and conjugal visits three times a week are countries by prisoners simply having nothing else to do outside of this. After all, they lost their freedom to leave and do what they wanted. Considering the difference in recidivism rates between Norway and the rest of us, maybe listening to what they have to say on this topic is the smart thing to do.

However, putting so many resources into rehabilitating people does come with its own set of challenges. The average prisoner in Norway costs approximately $93,000 per year. In the U.S., it’s $31,000, though that number varies widely across states. A system like Norway’s would need some serious financial backing at the very start, but over time, with lower recidivism, there would actually be far fewer people in prison. In 2021, Norway only had 3,651 people in jail. With a population of over 5 million, this is less than 0.1% of their population. This is a tiny number of people. Norway would be spending just over $339 million on its total prison population. The U.S. has over 1.6 million people in jail, with an overall cost exceeding $80 billion. And this is only the base level of exactly how much the U.S. system costs. It is incalculable, the cost borne by the people who have their lives negatively impacted, or even ended, due to a lack of rehabilitation. The sheer number of prisoners in the U.S. would come with a hefty upfront cost to transition to a more rehabilitative approach, but in 

the long run, it could be a huge benefit, not only to those stuck in these systems, but general society. 

—

My name is Seth Grimes and I’m a journalism student who believes in creating a world where everyone feels like they have a chance to make something of themselves.

Forgiveness: A Necessary Step In a Healing Journey

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Isabella Wen (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

We’ve all been told to “take the high road,” “just let it go” or “be the bigger person.” 

We’ve all learned it’s easier to say these things than to do them. 

Forgiveness is difficult, to forgive all the pain and bitterness inflicted on you, whether it be from another’s actions, or even your own. To forgive is to let go.

I’ve always found it hard to let go. I am often unable to forgive myself after making a mistake at work or saying the wrong thing to a friend. I still hold, heavy in my heart, painful grudges against those who hurt me, thinking, if I don’t forgive them, maybe some otherworldly divine punishment will occur. Or even thinking that I can’t let my own actions off the hook that easily. I deserve punishment. 

Although it may not seem like it, these grudges accumulate, creating an invisible boulder on our backs. It weighs down on us, hurting us as time passes, until all we can think about is our hate.

Forgiveness lifts this boulder off our backs. It makes us feel light and free, comfortable with ourselves. It allows us to be our best versions and to prevent the bitterness of our situations from holding us back. 

Remember that forgiveness doesn’t mean an action was right. Forgiveness is to accept an action was wrong, and move on. To never forgive is to let your pain control you. To let it dictate your decisions, your happiness, your life.

To heal, it is necessary to release your anger and adopt a growth mindset, consistently practicing self-love and providing yourself with the space and the mindfulness needed to lift a heavy weight. Being unable to forgive at first is normal. Forgiving takes time — if not months, then years. Oftentimes healing is a lifelong journey. 

At the end of the day, forgiving isn’t about taking the moral high road, or being the better person. It’s a step in healing to become a happier you. 

—

Isabella Wen is a high school student who uses writing as both an outlet and a way to contribute to a community. She hopes to influence and inspire others through Low Entropy’s platform.

 

How Can We Help Others Heal?

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Roma Jani (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

The word “healing” or “to heal” has various meanings. Some people heal only behind closed doors, whereas others rely on a listening ear. Others use a combination of both. Regardless of the path of healing, I believe that community, consisting of people and surroundings, plays a pivotal role in helping individuals who are going through healing processes. 

How do we help others heal? There are several ways, let me break them down for you. Regardless of the path you take, the foundation of healing others consists of four pillars — love, kindness, compassion and respect. If you are incapable of helping others heal with any of the methods mentioned below, the least you can do is be kind to them or respectful of their privacy or needs. 

The first method is to suggest a therapy session. Sometimes hurt, grief and pain can cause a person to lose themselves, to the point where they are incapable of asking for help. They might be so entangled in their own emotions, feelings and thoughts that they cannot see things clearly. The most practical and clinical way to help would be to direct them towards a therapist. In today’s day and age, mental therapy has become an essential part of life because there is no taboo around this term anymore. Communities and societies have embraced the idea of taking care of mental health just as much as their physical health. Due to widespread agreement on the importance of mental health, there are hundreds of resources out there, from online therapy to in-person meetings. Sometimes it’s just a matter of turning someone’s attention to these options so that they might get the professional help that they need.

The second method is to be a listening ear for someone. Observe them to understand what it is that they are responding to, from your actions towards them. Are they willing to talk to you? Or are they simply brushing off your questions, preferring not to talk? If they want to talk, be that listening ear to allow them to feel lighter by sharing. Ask them if they want advice, or if they simply want you to listen. Then take an action accordingly, based on what they state – not what you think they might need. If they would prefer not to talk, then respect that and simply let them be. Kindly give them the option of talking to you in the future if they change their mind, or whenever they are ready. Sometimes we want to rush people through their healing process, especially if they are our loved ones and we are emotionally attached to them, as we do not want to see them suffer and be in pain. However, normally that backfires, because the main ingredient of the healing process is time. They must walk through the journey of facing their feelings in stages to be able to heal. It is a delicate process that cannot be rushed.

The third method applies regardless of which of the first two methods you pick. Be patient with the individual, and with their pain in mind, create as many of the same routines around them as before as you can — be considerate but do not pity them, and keep your emotions out of the equation. You can even hold them accountable, if the situation calls for it. The last thing a person who needs to heal wants is you dumping your emotions and opinions about their healing process onto them. It is difficult — how could I possibly not tell them how sorry I am that they are going through this? — however, giving them space is how you can help them in this situation. They will appreciate that more than you can imagine. The reason for this is because some people find it empowering to process their pain only within themselves, and while they are doing that, nothing will help them faster and more efficiently than routines and normality around them. This will allow them the benefit of comparison during the healing process — between who they used to be and where they are standing right now, showing them a clear path of where they want to head in the future.

Providing people words of love, wisdom and care is part of a universal language that everyone knows. Let’s help others heal. Let’s always be kind and compassionate towards strangers — you never know what they might be battling with, inside their minds. Let’s always give space and options to loved ones. Let’s be stronger as a community so that we can support the most vulnerable ones around us, teaching them to walk once again.

—

My name is Roma. Writing is my passion and I hope to reach people’s hearts and make an impact via my words. I am a promoter of improving mental health, being compassionate, giving healthy space, understanding different love languages and ensuring quality lifestyles for everyone sharing the planet. I hope I was able to connect with you, the reader, through this blog post.

 

Why Do We Fail To Be Productive?

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Atakan Eligüzel (he/him/his), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

We live in a society obsessed with how to impress others with talent and possession, instead of pursuing a happy life. Hours spent working and studying mean more to people than what we have learned and done. 

When we say we go to the gym, others ask, “How often do you go to the gym?” or “How many hours do you spend doing cardio?” They never ask how you feel about it, or the changes it brings to your life. It is easier to compare hours and days than emotions and subtle internal changes.

From a very young age, we learn that people concentrate on numbers instead of quality. We start to undervalue the importance of what we have learned and how we have improved ourselves. As highly complex social animals, our sense of self-worth and confidence comes from how society sees us. It is no surprise that most of us tend to give greater importance to time management to boost our confidence.

Our obsession with time hurts our well-being by making us forgetful of how much we get from the time we spend. I’d like to share some insights about how we should treat learning and time management.

  1. We Learn While Doing Nothing

It sounds crazy, I know, but your room wall is the best teacher when it comes to acquiring information and keeping it inside your brain. When we push out the urge to be productive and take time to internalize, we learn better and forget less. If you are reading a book, it is a good idea to take your time and reflect on it before starting to read another. What kind of message does the book try to convey? What is the main conflict? By doing that, you scratch the surface, get into the deeper layers, and find an immense opportunity to think beyond borders.

Sometimes, it is better to take a coffee and relax than to try watching educational videos that will slip away from your mind. 

  1. Abusing Your Willpower Doesn’t Help

Just. Do. It. If you fail to do, that is your weakness. If you succeed, then it is your strength. As these motivational messages have made their place in our collective memory, we have developed an abusive relationship with our willpower. This attitude doesn’t help us to build long-time habits. You simply cannot make a decision overnight. Prior to that decisive moment, you need to have a good plan, understand your weaknesses and strengths, and internalize how your decision will help you. These cognitive processes take time. If you try to rush, you might fail to find the motivation you need to pursue your goals.

  1. Don’t Think of a Pink Elephant

You look at the mirror and realize you are not content with your body shape. You try to lose some weight you gained last winter. And there is a chocolate bar left from your friend’s birthday inside the fridge. Your body is craving it. You cannot think of anything else but sweet sweet chocolate. 

But what if you are determined and don’t want to eat the chocolate? Throw it away or give it to your neighbor. The best way to avoid unnecessary cravings is to make the thing you are craving IMPOSSIBLE to satisfy. Since your brain thinks that going into a supermarket and buying the chocolate is too much of a hurdle, it will lose interest in the chocolate bar you were craving a minute ago. 

Imagine an independent “desire” calculator in your brain that evaluates the cost of the action in relation to the reward. If you want to avoid doing something, you have to either increase the cost of the action or decrease the reward.

—

Atakan Eligüzel is a writer who enjoys sharing his opinions and perspectives on various subjects and issues. He was born and has spent most of his life in Istanbul, and enjoys the privilege of knowing people from different backgrounds, who often have diverse perspectives.

 

How to find your hobbies? A journey of self-discovery

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Deema Katrina (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

What are your hobbies? This question made my mind go blank for the majority of my life. It wasn’t that I didn’t know what I enjoyed doing, but more that I couldn’t think of an answer that would accurately depict what I had imagined a hobby to be. When I thought of someone with a hobby, I envisioned them playing a sport or an instrument or painting or doing photography, etc. I envisioned their answer to this question being concrete and measurable. And I envisioned them having a defined interest they could proudly present to the world as a form of personal accomplishment.

This strict definition I had as a young adult led me to spend many years trying to be an idea rather than a person. I wanted to be good at things I presumed to be interesting to the world, instead of learning skills and finding activities that align with my personality. But in the process of looking for a conventional hobby, I learned many valuable lessons, which led me to discover some unconventional, yet truly fulfilling hobbies along the way.

In this blog, I will talk about the lessons I’ve learned and my advice on finding hobbies that you actually love and enjoy!

 

Acting

Growing up, arts occupied very little space in my life. I was focused on a practical educational path. I took lots of maths, chemistry, and physics. At university, I majored in Biochemistry, so science naturally fell into my life. But I always knew that I was just as much of a creative person as I was practical. I was happy with my major and saw it as the logical choice for my future, but every time my classmates talked about seeking internships or med school, my mind would start roaming on another planet. I couldn’t imagine having my life revolve around science, and I struggled to connect with people around me, which led me to develop anxiety shortly after my first year. I felt alone in my thoughts and was desperate for a creative outlet.

One day, as I was walking to get my morning coffee, I saw a poster advertising the Act Club. I hadn’t thought about acting before and didn’t necessarily see myself as an actor. But I needed a hobby; an interesting one of course! So, I signed up. Acting workshops every Wednesday became part of my life for the next two years. I met many people majoring in Theatre and I really wanted to fit in. I socialised and talked to students from different backgrounds. And I told myself that theatre was going to be part of my new identity, which was an exciting idea at the time. 

But after two years of attending workshops and volunteering in the yearly play, I became increasingly aware of how indifferent I really felt. Theatre wasn’t something I felt strongly connected to. If acting was a shape, I would mould it into a hobby of mine, but as soon as I blinked its composition would seep through my fingers like liquid impermanence. Regardless, I learned so much during my time with the club and felt a strong sense of community, which is something I had never experienced before. I also met my closest friends and the only ones who stuck in my life to this day.

 

Would I recommend Acting as a hobby?

Absolutely!

If you find an opportunity to be part of a theatre club, or any creative club, take advantage of it. You may find your next passion in life. And even if you don’t, you’ll surely make some memories for your future self to look back on. It’s a win-win situation.

 

Who is this hobby ideal for?

Someone who likes theatre and wants to be part of a community of like-minded people. 

 

Questions to ask yourself before joining a club:

1- What can I learn from joining this club? Is this knowledge valuable to me?

2- What positive outcomes do I foresee this club having on my life (or the life of others)?

 

Rating: 8/10

 

Playing an Instrument

This one seemed obvious. If you play an instrument, you get instant bonus points on the “interesting person” scale. So I naturally had to pick up my instrument. In a burst of excitement, I went to my local guitar shop and picked up an acoustic. I didn’t particularly see myself playing the guitar, but I imagined other people playing it, and it looked dreamy.

To be fair, in your early twenties, a lot of hobbies look dreamy. And it can be hard to tell whether your personality aligns with what you’re dreaming of, or if you’re just romanticising the idea of it. I sure did my fair share of romanticising in my early twenties, and I wish someone would have told me how true magic comes from within, or at least how to look within before I pursue things.

Needless to say, I picked up my guitar and spent the next eight months learning chords and songs. I even bought a guitar-learning app subscription to stay consistent with my learning. Time passed by and I was making progress, but the spark I had for my guitar was gradually fading. I then switched to playing the Ukulele to bring a sense of novelty into my learning, which it did for a while. But as time went by, practising my instruments began to feel more like a chore than anything else. So, I stored my instruments in their canvas case, indefinitely.

 

Would I recommend learning to play an instrument as a hobby?

Yes and no.

Anyone who plays or played an instrument will tell you that consistency is key. You have to block time in your schedule to practise your instrument. You have to be focused. And you have to maintain a balanced ratio of learning to practising what you’ve learned. If you like sticking to a routine and want to strengthen your self-discipline, picking up an instrument is a great way to do so!

However, since the process of learning an instrument is innerly-driven, that makes it the least social. Another downside is that if you leave your instrument to collect dust in your room, you’ll soon lose all the knowledge you’ve worked so hard to build.

 

Who is this hobby ideal for?

Someone who loves a particular instrument and is self-motivated.

 

Questions to ask yourself before learning an instrument:

1- Do I enjoy listening to the music that is played by the instrument I’m seeking to learn? 

2- When I imagine my future-self playing that instrument, what does that look and feel like?

 

Remember that your motivation for learning should come from a desire to be, and not from a desire to fulfil a social role.

 

Rating: 6/10

 

Photography

In summer 2019 I bought my first ever professional camera and was super excited to take photos. I walked all over the city and explored very interesting locations on my journey to capture the perfect shot. Throughout this process, I realised how much I like to walk and to explore different neighbourhoods. Walking increased my calmness and self-awareness. It made me feel more in-tune with myself and the world surrounding me. And it made me develop a strong sense of belonging to the city I lived in. I would walk for miles, tirelessly. My camera was there to accompany me, but I was more excited for my walks than I was to take photos. I eventually stopped worrying about taking the perfect shot, but I never stopped exploring new places.

 

Would I recommend photography as a hobby?

Yes, but it comes with a cost.

While doing photography, you’ll build your knowledge of camera specifications. You’ll learn what an aperture and shutter speed and ISO are, and how to tweak those specifications to take the perfect shot. You’ll learn about photo editing apps and software and may discover your unique style of editing. Whether you end up being a professional photographer or remain an amateur, the knowledge you’ll gain from doing photography will not go to waste.

However, cameras and lenses can get quite expensive. Editing software such as Photoshop and Lightroom also come with a subscription cost, making this hobby not the most cost-efficient. So keep that in mind if you’re a person on a budget.

 

Who is this hobby ideal for?

Someone who is a perfectionist, imaginative, and creative.

 

Questions to ask yourself before learning photography:

1- Do I tend to take many photos looking for the optimal lighting and angles?

2- Am I intrigued by photo-editing and want to learn more about it?

 

Rating: 7/10 

 

Realisations leading to current hobbies

After trying these conventional hobbies and a few others, the pandemic hit. The change in my life was drastic and I felt a huge mindset shift, like many others. I spent a lot of time self-reflecting through journaling. I also meditated daily, which helped me in developing a clearer headspace and a better understanding of what makes me me.

Through meditation and journaling, I discovered the top three things that would bring me happiness and fulfillment. Those were digital art, reading articles, and taking walks.

I discovered my love for digital art by observing my natural reactions to traditional vs. digital art forms. I was fascinated by digital mediums, especially illustrations. So I picked up Procreate in 2020 and I still draw digitally to this day. I also discovered my passion for reading articles. I liked the variety of topics I got to explore and the personal insight writers added to their blogs. The knowledge I gained from articles felt introspective. It held immense value in a condensed piece of text. And it recently inspired me to write my own blogs. Lastly, I found that taking walks made me calmer and more perceptive of my surroundings and of other people. It improved my physical health, my mental health, my awareness, and my sense of gratitude.

By sharing this, I want you to know that your hobby doesn’t have to be a fancy headline. All it takes for an activity to be your hobby is for you to feel calm and connected while doing it.

If you enjoy drinking coffee and trying out different blends, that could be your hobby. If you listen to podcasts or audiobooks while doing house chores, that could be your hobby. If you spend a lot of time decorating your apartment, decorating can be your hobby. Think of things that you truly enjoy doing when no one is watching.

Some of your hobbies may be complex and require building skills over time, while some of them can be very simple and might make you question whether they’re really worth talking about. But remember! What makes you unique and exciting as a person are the very things you’re excited about. When you talk about elements that bring you joy, the people around you will feel it through your expressions and body language. And you can add your personal touch to those seemingly simple things in a way that no one has ever done before.

 

Questions for your hobby-discovery journal:

 

1- Is there a topic that makes my brain light up?

2- What activity makes me feel engaged and lose track of time?

3- Am I ready to schedule time to practise something new?

4- What do I find meaningful in life?

5- What does failure look like to me? Am I ready to try and fail? 

6- Who am I, really? (Write a list of your unique personality traits and core values)

7- How can I shape something I do well naturally into a hobby?

8- What do I pretend to like but really don’t?

9- If I won 10K and was only allowed to spend it on leisure items, what would I buy?

10- Am I holding onto a false representation of myself? What steps can I take to change that? (Here, you can think about authenticity and whether the ways in which you navigate the world – your interests and self-expressions – are true to you.)

 

These are some prompts to help you get started. But you can always come up with your own prompts along the way.

 

Happy hobby searching!

—

Deema Katrina is a Blogger from Montreal, Canada. She comes from a science background and currently works in the drug development industry, but her interests go beyond that. Some of the topics she passionately explores are self-awareness, personal development, and financial literacy. She believes that every person has the capacity to succeed when given the right tools and resources. Her goal is to share the knowledge she learned from delving into these topics, and to help others become a better version of themselves.

 

The Pain and Struggles of Friendship Breakups

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Eri Ikezawa (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

When last speaking to my therapist, I learned the verbiage “disenfranchised grief.”

 

This can be defined as the kind of grief caused by an unconventional source, the anguish catalyzed by an occurrence that isn’t typically considered as a sensible reason to justify feeling such sadness. For example, the death of a close loved one or a miscarriage are considered socially acceptable reasons to experience bereavement—which, without question, absolutely are. It is incredibly easy to commiserate with individuals who have experienced this because the situation is unambiguously sad.

 

On the other hand, the death of a pet or the loss of a job can oftentimes be overlooked by people as a reason to feel the same level of distress.

 

This causes me to wonder then, who are we to define the parameters of what entails true, profound grief? And then on the flip side, why do we seek permission from others to be “allowed” to be sad?

 

These are the kinds of questions that have arisen for all the times that I’ve felt deeply wounded by the loss of a friendship.

 

In a society that heavily emphasizes the importance of romance, it is easy to find an abundance of resources covering the pain that follows a break-up. But from my experience, there is simply not enough support is offered for, in colloquial terms, a “friendship breakup”—the platonic equivalent of a dissolution of a romantic relationship.

 

Despite all our best hopes, always stoking the fires of a romantic relationship to ensure it works out, there is always the distant awareness that there is a possibility that things may not work out.

 

But the expectations are set differently with friendships. We almost blindly anticipate things will work out. We presume our most meaningful friendships are eternal—like energy, as per the law of conservation, we expect our friendships to exist forever, always staying consistent. No matter what disruptions or vicissitudes occur in our universe, we take for granted our close friends will always be with us.

 

To me, my friends are like my family. They are all people whom I treasure, admire, and love with all my heart; every time, I’ve grown distant from a friend or found myself needing to distance myself from someone, I’ve found it brought me great emotional turmoil.

 

And the thing is, as I’ve gotten to know myself and my habits better as I grow older, I know I need time to process what happens to me and a safe space to vent until my emotions stabilize. But when I am hurting over the loss of a friend, I feel like there is an absolute cap on how much and how long I can talk about it—whereas I feel that there is much greater capacity and patience for people whose romantic relationships ended.

 

Imagine a rock plastered with barnacles for years—abruptly, they’re abrasively ripped off and shredded from the surface of the boulder. What’s left behind is residual debris from the bits that weren’t removable and a misshapen outline of where the barnacles used to be—a messy reminder of what used to be there.

 

That’s just a clumsy description of what it felt like the last time I struggled with a loss of a friend—I felt comfortable for only a limited amount of time to vent to my friends about my emotions.

 

It wasn’t that my friends were impatient with me or demonstrated apathy—in fact, they were all empathetic and understanding. The problem was no matter how much attention and commiseration they provided me with, I just felt like I was somehow missing the key to unlock any semblance of tranquility and acceptance of the status quo.

 

Finally, I decided—even if I was ashamed or embarrassed about it—I would seek advice from a professional; I was determined to address my sadness head on as soon as possible. I refused to delay the healing process simply because facing my emotions was daunting.

 

Looking back retrospectively now, I am glad I did so. I felt in speaking with my therapist, I received the validation and gratification in knowing that it is okay to feel sad. It isn’t strange to be heartbroken over the loss of someone whom I had really treasured, adored, and invested time in.

 

And even if I logically recognized that I didn’t require permission to feel the way I did, I guess I still subconsciously harbored the need to get someone’s stamp of approval that “yes, it is okay to feel sad about this.”

 

In seeking professional assistance in my journey to reluctant acceptance, she presented me with a gift: “disenfranchised grief.” By providing me with this terminology, it broadened my horizons and alleviated my shame. I felt like I had been given permission to label my sadness

as grief—that even if it didn’t take a conventional shape, it isn’t ludicrous to characterize

that heavy feeling in my chest as “grief.”

 

Looking retrospectively at the situation, I now truly appreciate how valuable her input and

contribution was. While I am proud of myself for taking the initiative to seek help even for something that I felt I was overinflating in my head, her compassion and feedback is what really set my healing journey ablaze—where my determination was the ember, her assistance was the gasoline.

 

I recognize now, if anything, my shame and embarrassment for feeling great anguish over the loss of a relationship I invested in was preventing me from ever resolving the turmoil in my heart. I could not arrive at nirvana unless I slowly unpacked the hidden barriers and stared my emotions stark in the face.

 

Having this newfound perspective on the loss of friendship, I think what I would emphasize most is that it is so okay to feel pain and grief. After all the time, secrets, laughter, and love shared, how could it be anything but natural to feel profound loss?

 

In writing this, I hope to contribute to the lacking literature to support people who are struggling through the loss of a friend—just because the topic isn’t given the attention it deserves, it doesn’t mean people out there don’t need support. I want them to know that they are not alone, that they will be okay, and that it’s okay to be sad.

– 

My name is Eri Ikezawa and I have an extended minor in psychology and a major in linguistics. I’m still on the path to quelling questions about myself and the direction I want to head in, but in the meantime, I have always wanted to find a way to help others and contribute to a community dedicated to personal development and self-love.

Self-Care During Emotional Healing

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Natalie Zeifman (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

What helps you when you’re emotionally healing?

It may seem strange to talk about healing in general terms when there is so much one might have to heal from. We can experience grief through death, breakups, and betrayal, to name only a few. But the common denominator is loss. The loss of a loved one, a life path, a favorite thing, a home, an old ability, a planned future, invested resources, or even the loss of your sense of safety and your right to be treated with respect. You may even lose your self-trust and self-respect at the wrong turn.

Loss of one kind or another is inevitable if you are a human being because we are capable of feeling it. No one is immune to grief. The question is then how do you cope with loss and retain your purpose and well-being? How do you soothe and take care of yourself so that you can get back up? How do you stop the grief from becoming your whole world? How do you heal?
I know there are a plethora of answers to such questions, but in this article I am going to share what I have personally learned to be helpful, and I hope it is helpful to others as well.

One of our first big stops on the emotional healing train is validation. “This thing happened, it wasn’t right, and it’s okay to grieve it. You feel what you feel for a reason.” I think a lot of us have a tendency to think in terms of what we “should” be feeling, to the extent that we can invisibilize what we actually are feeling. We may minimize how painful what we are going through is, and how huge our achievement is in facing it. It can be hard to see our resilience in the moment.

Processing an emotionally heavy weight takes a lot out of you. If you’re going through something heavy, just getting up is an achievement. Just taking a shower, going to work, feeding yourself– those are big achievements in the context of healing. It’s important to validate how much time and energy are going into grief, rather than expecting yourself to go out and run a marathon every day. What would actually be abnormal is if you could in one moment be crying in grief and in the other hyper with energy and happiness. It’s unlikely to happen because grief takes energy.

It’s important to our mental well-being to recognize what we are going through so we can have a compassionate view of ourselves and reasonable expectations. We need to give ourselves the permission and space to feel what we feel, and know it’s valid. There isn’t one right way to grieve. It’s okay to need time, support, and even bubble wrapping.

Finding a support system of empathetic people who can validate our experiences and feelings can also be important to healing. Talking to others helps you frame, contextualize and process the meaning of what you’ve experienced. But if you have people in your life who tell you you shouldn’t be feeling what you feel, and who aren’t empathetic about the loss you experienced, that can encourage you to disconnect from yourself, deny your feelings, and thus not take part in the self-care practices that aid healing, because you’re “supposed to be” fine. If you ignore that a wound exists, then how are you going to take care of it and help it heal? In these cases, it’s ideal to try to seek a support system of people who can be a safe, empathetic space, and who may have even gone through similar experiences.

The permission of time is another big one. Oh dear, I don’t want to sound like a cliché, but in situations where the brain was expecting or living in an expectation of one future, and then it has to suddenly face another, it takes a lot of time and mental energy to process that. You can’t rush your grief or compare yourself to others with different lived experiences. If you’re feeling something, it’s for a reason; it’s speaking to who you are. It can take time to collect your thoughts on what happened and what it meant to you, to ground yourself in a new reality. It’s also healthy to validate that grief doesn’t happen all at once. It comes in waves. Needing time to recover shouldn’t be a source of shame. In fact, you may never fully extinguish the sadness of that loss, and it’s perfectly okay for it to remain meaningful to you.

Reclaim happiness. When you’re grieving, it’s really easy to fall into a type of dark hole and to make it your whole lens on life. But it’s important to remind ourselves that there are still things that make us happy. There’s kindness, beauty and the capacity for joy in the world. It can feel super irritating to have someone suggest to you that you should try to still incorporate what brings you some happiness into your life when you’re grieving, but it’s really important advice. It’s important that we don’t make the loss all we can see of the world. If we were hurt by someone, it’s also important to see that that person and their worldview do not make up the world. You can reclaim yourself from their space.

Reclaiming happiness shouldn’t be done in such a way that it denies or minimizes loss, but hopefully with the type of balance that allows us to process our grief while still seeing that life has good to offer us.

It’s not that nothing bad ever happens in this world, it’s that we’re able to continue standing up for and embodying what is good.

Finally, another process you will probably start to take part in automatically is growing from the grief. Listening to and learning lessons from our grief helps heal and empower us. Loss can feel overwhelmingly painful and impact our ability to feel safe. When we’re grieving, we’re thus not only processing the loss itself, but also the loss of our feeling of safety. This drives us into self-protection mode which can hinder us fully taking part in life. We want to know how to prevent ourselves from feeling this hurt again. We want to know how we can feel safe again. Engaging in the process of growing and learning lessons from our loss helps us feel safer and better able to cope. It gives us more faith in our resilience.

At the end of the day, it’s part of what makes us human that we feel and honor our losses, and we should know that our feelings deserve care and space.

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Leave your thoughts for Natalie in the comments below. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and YouTube to stay up-to-date with Low Entropy news!

Choosing to Forgive

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Elizaveta Garifullina (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

Forgiveness is one of a person’s most essential abilities that can make them happy. All of us are initially capable of forgiveness. It’s just that some people choose not to forgive. This is a choice, and we are all responsible for it.

Our life is filled with lessons, and life experience can be challenging. There are a lot of people in our lives who have changed us in some way. Take a look back at your life up to this point. Many people have made you smile and laugh. Some even taught you to love or taught you friendship. But there are also those people who have caused you tears and taught you pain, separation, and resentment. But is this a less valuable experience? Despite how much pain these people have caused you, find the courage and bravery to forgive them. Find the love to thank them for the experience they have brought into your life. They taught you a lot and discovered something in you that you didn’t know about.

Also, of course, you can forgive them, not for them, but for yourself. Forgiveness is not only a path to mental and spiritual healing, but also physical. Studies have shown that the act of forgiveness can reduce the risk of heart attack, reduce blood pressure, improve immune function, and reduce levels of anxiety, depression, and stress.

Forgiveness can genuinely help you free yourself. When you hold a grudge, you are still attached to the person who hurt you, though they may not have been in your life for many years. With a farewell, you will let go of this pain, let go of this person, and live freely. Get rid of what is hurting you. You don’t have to live with this scar anymore.

There is one small three-letter tactic that can help with this. Dedicate the first letter to how exactly this person has hurt you. Describe all your resentment, all the pain without choosing expressions. Write out absolutely everything, all the most unpleasant things. Then seal the letter in an envelope and hide it in a drawer. The next day you will need to write a second letter and write out everything that was not specified in the previous one. And put the envelope in the drawer. The next day you write a third letter. There should be forgiveness and gratitude in it for such a valuable life lesson. Describe what benefits you have derived from this, even if it is difficult to do so at first glance. Then all three envelopes need to be burned (of course, observing the safety rules).

Pain and resentment live in our bodies and poison everything around, polluting our minds. It prevents us from living. Take care of yourself, make your life better. Sometimes, it can be extremely complicated to forgive a person, especially if this person was very close or it is difficult for you to forgive them for this act. In this case, it is better to work with a therapist. Forgiveness does not mean that you will start contacting this person again. If it is easier for you not to come into contact with them anymore – that is your choice; rely on your feelings. The main thing is to let go of the resentment that has remained in your heart.

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Leave your thoughts for Elizaveta in the comments below. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and YouTube to stay up-to-date with Low Entropy news!

The Importance of Patience in Healing Process

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Grace Cheng (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

The world we live in today is characterized by rapid change, instant gratification and immediate results. While we know that patience is important, it can be difficult to slow down. The concept of patience is crucial to a variety of aspects of life, but why are we so quick to try to speed up? Healing takes time, just as many other things do. We owe it to ourselves to be patient during periods of transition.

Today, we live in the fast lane, which means we want things to happen immediately. Patience is becoming a lost art. To capitalize on this fast-lane mentality, industries will sell you products, trends, fads and gimmicks, trying to convince you that things are possible instantly.

Although it may be difficult to wait patiently for true correction and healing to take place, it is well worth the effort.  With the traditional medical model, instant fixes only delay the inevitable by covering up symptoms. You may enjoy having that headache go away quickly with a pill, or not having knee pain because of a shot, but that will not serve you well long-term. Band-Aids are not going to address the root causes of your problems in any meaningful way.

Healing takes time, regardless of the type. There is no magic wand that can suddenly improve everything. To heal our wounds, whether they are physical, mental or spiritual, we must accept the fact that time is our most valuable ally, and we must come to terms with however long it may take.

Why is patience important in the healing process?

To begin with, the human body is a complex and intricate bio-machine. We have a mechanical frame upon which we rely, as well as soft tissues and organs that are equally important. Recovery and healing of injuries are dependent upon several factors, such as the passage of time, the severity of the injury and the tissues involved. 

It is important to learn how to be patient to maintain your mental, emotional and physical well-being. A person’s ability to be patient cannot be overstated, and being patient can have beneficial effects on all areas of their life. 

The more time and energy you devote to nurturing yourself, the deeper the healing within. We can learn to trust in patience and time. As we invest in healing ourselves, we can offer and serve others in greater ways.

The Benefits of Patience in Healing

  1. Regain Strength and Confidence

When we are patient and slow down, we can take time to regain strength and confidence. Hug yourself, be kind to yourself and take things one day at a time. Be grateful for your healing process.

      2. Reduce Stress

When you practice patience, you will be able to dissipate stress and determine how you respond to disappointment and frustration. All areas of your life will improve if you remain calm, and centered, and do not act rashly out of frustration. The ability to cultivate patience allows you to let go of things that are beyond your control and live with less stress and anxiety.

      3. Bring Peace to Your Mind

Practicing patience has the benefit of cultivating a peaceful mind that can lead you out of difficult situations. Simply taking the time to look within at a time when you are feeling impatient can be healing. Be aware of your surroundings to maintain a sense of calm.  Keep your stillness in mind and preserve it.  Take advantage of these moments of self-reflection to strengthen your self-control and grace.

      4. Improve Your Quality of Life

Patience can have a profound effect on the quality of your life by allowing you to notice subtle things and learn from them. In so many ways, life is about awareness and growth, from things that are always happening behind the scenes.

The concept of patience may seem to be something we either have or do not have, like a personality trait, but that is not entirely accurate. We can learn patience. Especially as we age, it becomes more critical to cultivate our willingness to be patient when dealing with recovery from an injury or illness.

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Grace has an accounting and finance background. She enjoys reading, writing, listening to music, watching movies and playing sports.

Forgiveness: A Good Recipe from My Grandma’s Cookbook!

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Ugochi Guchy Kalu (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Time is precious and fragile, and holding on to the past only increases the weight of the shackles bound by unforgiveness. Relief comes from letting go, and true power from forgiveness. 

 

I once read an analogy made by a great teacher on unforgiveness. He described it as the poison we drink, hoping it kills our enemies; I disagreed with his stance at the time, but eventually, I totally understood and accepted that analogy as true and factual. Oftentimes, we hold so much bitterness that it weighs us down, hoping the offender feels the same way. Truthfully, they may have moved on, having completely erased the relevant events from their memory, while the person holding on is simply building a castle for  bees in their mind. 

 

Forgiveness is the stuff of everyday heroes, the ultimate measure of internal peace, a gift both to yourself and others, a testament to the quality of your heart, growth and evolution. Forgiveness is many things, but it is not easy. It is a choice one makes everyday, it is a fresh perspective, a healthy distance, a measure for psychological flexibility and resilience. I dare say that forgiveness benefits the forgiver more than the offender. 

 

In a world filled with imperfect humans, there is no shield against all that can be thrown at us daily, no defense against every unscrupulous fellow, no protection from the myriad accidents and incidents that drain our minds, and certainly no limit to the length we can go to hurt ourselves and others intentionally and unintentionally. This goes to show that we might, from time to time, need to forgive ourselves, as we could be our own worst offenders. 

         

My friend Shalini’s father lived with the burden of guilt for almost seven years, bedridden and losing his limb functions. He refused medical help and physical therapy after a fatal auto crash that took the life of his son. He felt guilty for having survived while his son died, and he could not get over the fact that the car which killed his son was a gift he himself had bought. He wished he could turn back the hands of time. He wished he had died in his son’s stead.

 

This burden not only affected his health but also his family dynamics, as all joy was lost. His relationships with his wife and other children were strained, and little by little, they found that they could not laugh out loud anymore. Truly, unforgiveness does not drag its victim down alone, it loads others into the same truck, headed for ultimate destruction.

 

Joy eventually returned and healing began soon after he took into account the cost of his guilt and how much of a burden he had created in his home. By slowly accepting, forgiving and seeking help, his and his family’s health improved a great deal. 

 

I would like to think that most of us have come into contact with hurt, pain, burden and guilt, and can agree that they all leave unpleasant tastes in our mouths. From resentment, distress, depression, anger, anxiety, bitterness, fear, insecurity, hatred and failed physical health, the dangers of not letting go creates a high tide that often ends up wrecking our emotional life-boats. 

 

As a child, I was used to piling up anger, resentment and quiet vindictiveness. I would always seek revenge, and often feel fulfilled once my offender had received the same measure of pain meted to me. Sibling rivalry was unavoidable and, in my case, I would often go head-to-head with my older brother. My grandmother, in the end, would always try to broker peace between us and encourage me to let go. A few times, I imagined she loved me less, wondering why she would not find me justice, but rather recommend forgiveness. 

I certainly never enjoyed her recipe of forgiveness, no matter how well it was marinated before serving. A few years later, however, I began seeing things her way, and started valuing peace of mind. I realized that one can have a thick skin texture in addition to the other benefits that come with having no emotional burden to carry around. My grandmother’s recipe was right and delicious after all!

 

While peace brings healing, forgiveness holds the key to achieving lasting peace. As someone who struggled with letting go and is still struggling, I have noted the keys that aided in my victory against vendetta. To start your journey, you must forgive yourself, develop a forgiving mindset through empathy, find meaning in your suffering and rely on others for strength when forgiveness gets difficult. These are the surest steps towards complete forgiveness and soul renewal. 

 

Some people may believe that love for another who has harmed you is not possible, but there exist many people who were able to forgive and opened their hearts again to those who hurt them. If we shed bitterness and put love in its place through constant practice, we can unlock a new level of living with higher purpose, thereby creating a legacy of love that outlives us. 

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My name is Ugochi Guchy Kalu. As the former director of the Vendetta Group of Humans, and as someone who turned from revenge to love and forgiveness, I tell you that letting go is much more beneficial than holding on. Let it go!

A Diamond In The Rough

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Cristina Crescenzo (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

When it comes to dealing with pain, I know there is no one right way to go about it, because as brutal as it can be, pain is essential to our lives. It can somehow mould people into whom they were meant to be, or break them down into nothing. I suppose it all depends on how we react to the pressure, like how, back in the day, it was believed coal could be turned into a diamond. I think that’s why it is interesting when most people say you should let go of your pain, since personally I don’t think it’s a question of, “Are you able to let go of your pain to move forward?” But instead, “Are you strong enough to carry your pain with you on your journey?” As I am writing this, it sounds almost ridiculous inside my head, given how I live my life and how many times I have wanted to give up because I feel there is too much pain for me to carry on my own. 

However, I suppose the reason I have been bearing this weight for years with no rest is because a small part of me is still hopeful, in the absence of a promise, that one day when I do get where I am going, I will become a diamond. Yet, as much as I want to keep being reassured with positive platitudes, I know everyone has their own capacity for pain, and so like many things in this world, there are no guarantees and we can crumble. I am not the leading authority on human resilience. Sometimes I even resent it, but what I can say to people who could be reading this right now is that there have been many times I have almost shattered, but somehow I have been able to rally my strength and carry on for one more day. If your next question is why, my answer would be the love that follows pain. 

Love is something that nags pain just as much as it nags us because they are a package deal. That is why, when the pain becomes so excruciating that I feel like I can’t go on, love will be there to help me get back up again. It sounds silly, I know, but as much as the pain in my heart wants to push that feeling away, I know deep down that the love I have for others and that they have for me is the reason I have been able to hack it for this long. If you are someone who is able to pull themselves up from their own bootstraps, I commend you, because that is truly incredible. I am someone that has always needed a little support, and there is nothing wrong with that either. Accepting help in the face of adversity does not make you any less strong, it just makes you a different type of strong, a strength that is also vital to survival.

In conclusion, hold on tight to your pain and I will too, because it can be an asset to us if we let it, and even in the end, if we turn into diamonds that come out a little rough, we are still just as rare and beautiful. 

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My name is Cristina Crescenzo and I love to write. Low Entropy is a great organization that lets me do that with topics I am interested in while I am still trying to figure things out. Above all, I just hope my writing connects with someone and that I continue spreading positivity and awareness of mental health and the disabled community.

Trundling Through the Murky Bog

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Eri Ikezawa (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

I truly believe one of the greatest disservices you could do to yourself is convincing yourself that healing is a clean incision — bloodless, neat and tidy. But just as even the most medically gifted surgeon cannot promise an operation that is stress-free and bloodless, healing takes dedicated perseverance to ensure the process goes as smoothly as possible. 

With that in mind, I have grown to realize the importance of recognizing that healing isn’t linear. I compare this process to the quest of scaling a mountain, which can involve dips, ridges and plateaus, but is ultimately a continuous excursion up to the summit. 

In my experience, it is during those drops that people are most likely to keel over, knees aching with the effort of suffering through their mental trials and tribulations. For example, I have borne witness to people returning to the comfort of a toxic relationship, or falling into a pervasive, all-consuming depression when they encounter trying moments — after all, people are simply creatures of habit. It is only through repeated exposure and practice that we can learn to swim through tempestuous waters.  

For me, I can appreciate how experience has had a role in my understanding of the healing process. When I was younger, I would really struggle with eliminating toxic people from my life, ostensibly based on the premise of loyalty and affection for the person. Reflecting on this, I understand that it was misplaced dedication — it was simply a reluctance to change the status quo as I knew it. 

Each time I emotionally eradicated the presence of toxic people in my life, I grew to understand that following the siege comes tranquility. It was as though the rampant cacophony of an untuned orchestra finally ceased to exist, leaving me with the surprising serenity of silence. 

Of course, there are times where I reminisce, thinking wistfully back to the good times of shared laughter, memorable conversations and many other salient moments. During those arduous blips, I often must convince myself that yes, I ultimately made the appropriate choice in the circumstances and that no, the sense of guilt and sorrow does not equate to wanting them back in my life. 

I mention all this anecdotally to exemplify how, with every difficult decision we make with our ultimate happiness in mind — final destination, nirvana — there are pebbles that we step on with our bare feet. And there are sticks and branches over which we trip into a murky bog, sullying our freshly washed white clothes. There will be unexpected red lights while we try to speed hastily towards recovery — perhaps we will hit every red light for miles upon miles. 

But this is where the true lesson comes in, something I’ve learned through trial and error. All of these inconveniences and blunders are disturbances in our expedition to the peak, but we mustn’t resign ourselves to defeat solely because we become temporarily discouraged. We must trundle and drudge onwards, because we can make it past all the jump scares and horrors of our past mistakes. 

As I get older and become more immune to rejection and failure — framing them as notches of experience rather than catalysts leading to implosion from dejection — it becomes increasingly clear that our perspective is the captain of our lives. 

 

If we put on a lens of pessimism or cynicism, we may never leave the dock at all. Alternatively, if we are altogether unrealistically optimistic, we may lead ourselves into a devastating storm, completely ill-prepared. As usual, it is the temperate balance — staying pragmatic — that will allow us to be as prepared as possible for any unwanted surprises, while still lending us the courage to drift past the first buoy. 

With this allegory, my point is that it takes a certain level of optimism and daring to dedicate oneself to the journey of self-healing and self-development. But if we are expecting the process to be polished to perfection and exuding the varnished gleam of a new veneer, we will inevitably be disappointed. 

The message I want to convey is never to stay discouraged when you are trying to heal from any situation that injured you. It is unrealistic to believe that there won’t be moments of despair and grief from whatever ails you, but after nursing the wound for a time, you must get back on your feet — however little you want to. The longer you stay stationary, the more your muscles will atrophy, your bones stiffen and your will disintegrate.  

To avoid stagnation, my personal suggestions include finding solace in whatever pocket of friends and family brings you enough comfort to ease your worries, but who are also gently firm enough to ensure you take accountability and initiative in your journey. I also endorse spending enough time with yourself and with your thoughts, so that you will be able to introspect on what lead you to your current status quo and how to progress on to the next chapter. And if you find yourself thinking yourself into exhaustion or anxiety, escape for a little bit. Read a book, listen to some music, watch a movie or show, walk your dog, try a new hobby you’ve always been interested in — there are so many options! 

So, to summarize, I suppose it all becomes down to one single cliché — never give up, even when the going gets tough. 

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My name is Eri Ikezawa and I have an extended minor in psychology and a major in linguistics. I’m still on the path to quelling questions about myself and the direction I want to head in, but in the meantime, I have always wanted to find a way to help others and contribute to a community dedicated to personal development and self-love.

Asian Cultures and Mental Health

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Judith Suryanto (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

This is just part of growing up. 

You’re overreacting.

You should be more grateful! 

Behave well in front of others. 

You’ll be fine by tomorrow, I’m sure!

 

Sound familiar? Chances are, if you’re from an Asian family, you recognize these phrases all too well.

 

Coming from an Asian family myself, I grew up in a culture that essentially doesn’t believe mental health exists. Or, even if it did, that it didn’t matter. Funny thing is though, being the happy-go-lucky pre-teen I was, I didn’t even see how this was an issue at the time. I mean, not really anyway. It wasn’t until I turned 16 that I really started to feel the negative effects of neglecting my mental health. 

 

I started to develop disruptive mood swings, intense irritability, frequent bouts of low-energy and a pattern of harmful negative self-talk. As I stepped into high school, a new chapter of my life with courses that were more difficult, teachers who were increasingly strict, and life challenges that were significantly more overwhelming, I found myself completely and utterly defeated. I felt like a fish out of water – flailing about trying to make sense of why discomfort and unhappiness were now the background music to my life. 

 

After years of poor coping mechanisms and inflicting pain on others and myself, I slowly learned how to be more mindful of my thoughts and engaged in healthier coping mechanisms, such as doing more positive self-talk, asserting healthy boundaries, and practicing self-acceptance. 

 

Taking care of my mental health is an on-going, daily process. I still have to keep myself in check even every day. But, looking back now, I realized that I could’ve started taking care of my mental health much earlier in my life had I had access to the tools, information and support I needed. At the very least, I could’ve lessened the negative toll it had on myself and those around me when I was going through the thick of it as a teenager. 

 

Barriers to Mental Health Care in the Asian Community

 

So, this brought me to the question: why? Why did it have to take me years of trial and error, suffering and resilience, to receive appropriate mental health help and resources?  

 

My Asian upbringing was a big part of why. It was found that in 2019, 15% out of 19 million people who identified as Asian Americans or Pacific Islanders reported having a mental illness in the past year. Yet, Asian Americans were three times less likely to seek help compared to other racial groups in America. 

 

How can this be? Here’s four major reasons why I believe Asian families tend to have poor mental health.

 

  1. Traditional cultural values and upbringing 

 

Asian families are more inclined to hold on to cultural values and upbringing. This includes choosing traditional medicine or remedies over modern day therapy. For many Asian families, almost all types of suffering, including mental illness, can be treated through the knowledge that has been passed on from previous generations. In particular, Asian families with strong religious beliefs tend to rely on spirituality as the main source of healing. In this sense, it’s believed that mental illness can be cured through prayer and repentance of sins alone. Hence, seeking help in any other form tends to be discouraged. 

 

      2. Collectivism and taboos

 

Studies have found that Asian cultures have a stronger sense of collectivism in comparison to Western cultures. This means that many Asians and those raised in Asian cultures have a deep obligation to their family and community to be honorable, righteous, and benevolent. 

 

 Asian Americans/pacific islanders. Asian Americans/Pacific Islanders | Anxiety and. (n.d.). Retrieved December 28, 2022, from https://adaa.org/find-help/by-demographics/asian-pacific-islanders

Asian American / Pacific Islander communities and Mental Health (n.d.) Mental Health America. Retrieved December 28, 2022, from https://www.mhanational.org/issues/asian-american-pacific-islander-communities-and-mental-health

 

Unfortunately, this perpetuates a harmful taboo around mental illness. Many choose to hide their suffering and disregard their mental health altogether, in order to avoid shame and public rejection.

 

      3. Lack of access to mental health resources and education 

 

In the United States alone, Asian Americans have only half the access to mental health treatment as compared to other racial-ethnic groups. Unsurprisingly, this is mainly due to the lower perceived need for mental health treatment among Asian cultures – yes, this goes back to the collective feeling of shame and guilt over the stigmatization of mental health. 

 

However, another reason why Asian Americans don’t have access to mental health treatment is due to practical barriers as well, such as cost of treatment, language barriers, and generally lack of available knowledge and resources about Asian mental health in the United States. 

 

     4. Minimal culturally appropriate treatment 

 

Many mental health treatments that are available today are a result of evidence-based science founded from a Western majority population. Although some of the findings can be generalized, in more cases than not, many of these methods may not be applicable for Asian populations. 

 

The lack of culturally appropriate treatment toward Asian cultures is a significant problem that perpetuates the inability for Asians to access proper mental health care. 

 

Be the Change

 

Although there are many barriers to mental health within the Asian community, this shouldn’t mean we should get discouraged. Instead, we should be the change we want to see within our community. After all, we have to start somewhere! 

 Yang, K.G. et al. (2019) Disparities in mental health care utilization and perceived need among Asian Americans: 2012–2016, Psychiatric Services. Available at: https://ps.psychiatryonline.org/doi/10.1176/appi.ps.201900126 (Accessed: December 28, 2022).

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Judith has a background in psychology and statistics. Her deep interest in human behavior and affinity for self-reflection motivates her passion for helping readers better understand mental health and personal growth. Visit her personal blog here for more of her work: https://medium.com/@judithsandras

Transforming Ourselves Through the Journey of Healing

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Cassandra Di Lalla (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Healing is a common practice known worldwide and it is a lifelong recovery process. Healing will always be a journey but never a destination. It is transformative and life altering, but our healing is infinite.

 

We must first understand all the changes taking place in order to then learn how to best adapt with all stages of healing, and then we learn to cope. And guess what? Coping is a form of healing too!

 

I don’t believe that healing is a “one size fits all” experience or a “cookie cutter” concept. Just like time or numbers, the act of healing is one that cannot be measured.

 

We all heal in different ways and at different stages in our lives but one thing’s for sure…we are, at the end of the day, healing together as one. It’s an endless, timeless cycle.

 

When we are faced with a challenge that is seemingly impossible to overcome – our mind, our body, our heart, and our soul sometimes feel trapped because of that seemingly impossible challenge thrown our way. Naturally, some of us will panic and shut down if we already feel at a loss which in turn means that we will need to slowly rebuild ourselves and heal through various methods. That also means we are training our mind, our body, our heart, and our soul to be less reactive in certain situations and more reactive in other situations. But this kind of alertness and overall wellness cannot be achieved overnight. A full transformation is sometimes merely just a mindset though with other things in life, it is a transformation that requires a lot more than just a shift in your thoughts or feelings. A safe, comfortable, non-overbearing approach is one that is centered around the vision you create for yourself, for a healthy life after having successfully met each milestone as you go.

 

For every 365 days or for every year growing older, that’s already 8,760 hours of change. But during that same period of time, that also means 525,600 minutes of trial and error, reconfiguration, misunderstanding, confusion, falling back on your safety blanket, and starting all over from scratch. 

 

Your healing journey is your own personal affair and it is unique. A healing experience can be duplicated, but never replicated. Both you and your healing are co-dependent on each other so as long as you are progressing, the healing will feel effortless. Although, if you feel as though life has failed you, your healing journey will feel more faulty and flawed than it would be fearless and free. 

 

As humans, we are almost always conditioned to thinking that there are elements in life that are there to harm us and others that are there to heal us. We are intelligent though sometimes we do not give ourselves the credit we deserve for self-awareness, self-regulation, self-healing. Instead, we are all twisted and intertwined through the spine of a question mark and always wondering where to find answers. What we do not realize is that all of these answers can be found within as we are the exclamation mark.

 

Throughout the years, we continue to learn what is meant to be “good” and what is meant to be “bad” but we were never taught that for some people, it’s simply their disposition…it’s how things are viewed. Maybe it’s a matter of whether you’re purposely looking in a mirror knowing the answers are right in front of you and within you. Maybe it’s a matter of looking out your window because you’re still convinced that the world has a better answer than what your conscience is saying.

 

Healing is helpful…it can be filled with hope…it should become a habit, because healing is healthy and healing is human. We all deserve the power of healing.

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Cassandra Di Lalla lives life purposefully. She enjoys reading, writing and mental health initiatives. She’s an animal lover for life and an innovative individual always finding new ways to create.

Tips for Achieving Balance and Mindfulness

Posted on by Ness Gale

Deema Khalil (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

With technology being an ever-present part of our lives, it’s important to acknowledge the impact it has on our mental and physical health. The constant stream of notifications and endless access to information can lead to overuse. This manifests in a variety of physical symptoms such as eye strain, headaches, and poor posture. It can also affect our mental well-being, causing stress, anxiety and isolation. As a result, the concept of digital wellness emerged, aiming to promote a balanced and healthy relationship with technology.

Digital wellness refers to the awareness and management of the time and attention we dedicate to our devices and the digital world. It encompasses various aspects of our digital lives, such as screen time, social media use and digital mindfulness.

Throughout the years, I’ve made it my mission to discover the most effective tools and lifestyle modifications that enable me to minimise my tech use and maintain a healthy lifestyle. I would like to share with you the top four things that I’ve experimented with and have yielded the most significant positive outcomes.

  1. Limit distractions with a habit tracker

There are a variety of habit trackers that aim to limit distractions and track progress. My favourite habit tracker is Flora. This is a digital wellness app that helps you reduce screen time and increase productivity. It allows you to set a timer and focus on your work without getting distracted by your phone. As you set the timer, a virtual seed begins to grow. However, if you exit the app, your virtual plant will die. The app also allows you to set goals and collaborate with friends to grow a virtual garden. If any of your friends leave the app, everyone’s plant gets killed. Additionally, the app offers a betting feature where you can place a bet with your timer. If you exit the app, your bid amount will be donated towards planting a real tree in Africa or East Asia. This app provides a unique and gamified approach to help users reduce screen time and increase productivity while also contributing to a better planet.

  1. Mute your notifications

It can be a challenging task to resist the temptation of checking your phone screens constantly. This behaviour disrupts your ability to be fully present and can lead to a vicious cycle of checking notifications, going into apps, becoming absorbed, closing the phone, and repeating the process whenever the next notification pops up. To break this cycle, the most effective solution is to go to your phone settings and turn off all notifications, or only keep the essential ones like calls and text messages. With notifications turned off, your screen will no longer be a source of distraction, and you’ll think twice before unlocking your phone.

  1. Discover yourself through journaling

By scrolling through social media, you are exposed to a multitude of perspectives and realities. While this exposure can be enriching in some ways, it can also prevent you from getting to know your unique self, separate from external influences. That’s why self-discovery is so important. In order to discover and develop a unique sense of self, you need to take a step back from digital distractions and to look inward. One of the most effective ways to achieve this is through journaling. It’s one thing to think, yet a completely different thing to write down what you’re thinking. That is because the many scattered thoughts circling in your mind are volatile and in constant motion, while handwriting is stable and permanent. Starting the habit of putting your thoughts down on paper connects your many dispersed ideas into a coherent text, which in turn provides clarity and reduces stress.

Some people have the misconception that journaling is only for narrating day-to-day life. But you can get a lot more intentional with it. You can ask yourself concrete questions about your interests, your values, and your likes and dislikes. You can create prompts and discuss them. Use your journaling time as an opportunity to bring your true personality to life, to explore and express your opinions, and to gain confidence in what makes you YOU, outside of the digital realm.

  1. Find hobbies

Discovering your hobbies can be a fun and rewarding experience. A hobby can be anything that brings you joy, whether it’s a physical activity, a creative outlet, or a way to learn something new. To find your hobbies, it’s important to start by exploring your interests. What are you naturally drawn to? What do you enjoy talking about or thinking about? What activities do you look forward to doing in your free time? Once you have a list of your interests, it’s time to start trying new things. Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and try something that you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t had the chance to yet. You can also consider taking a class, joining a club, or volunteering for an organisation that aligns with your interests. Don’t be afraid to experiment and try different things until you find what you truly enjoy. Remember, hobbies don’t have to be serious or time-consuming. It can be something as simple as cooking, going on picnics or listening to your favourite podcast while taking a walk. Don’t limit yourself. The key is to find something that brings you joy and helps you unwind and recharge. So, take some time to reflect, experiment, and have fun as you discover your hobbies.

After all, digital wellness is a crucial aspect of our life that should not be overlooked. By setting boundaries, managing screen time, and prioritising self-reflection, we can significantly improve our well-being and achieve digital balance.

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