Category: Conscious Connections

Dear Victoria

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In a love letter to his favourite place, Low Entropy Writer Mike Vaness shares with us how Vancouver Island captured his heart.

 

When you think of your favourite place, is it hard to narrow it down to a single choice? Everyone has their favourite place to relax, their favourite restaurant or their favourite holiday spot where they can get away from everyday life. Whenever I think about my parents’ home on Vancouver Island, I get an immediate yearning to go there. The pandemic has made it difficult to travel outside my home province of British Columbia, yet even prior to the restrictions Vancouver Island was still my top choice. While the appeal of visiting my family is strong, there are so many other aspects I enjoy about Vancouver Island that make it my go-to dream destination. 

 

So, what is it about Vancouver Island, and Victoria specifically, that I find so relaxing and enjoyable? I believe it has to do with the journey as a whole: it starts with a ferry ride that brings a lot of the fun and enjoyment to the overall experience. I have always loved being on the water, and even when it’s on a large ship, there is just something fun, new, and exciting about it. Whether I am relaxing in the indoor seating area or the outside deck of the ship, I can watch our destination come into view as we maneuver around the smaller islands with a sensation of exploration and adventure. It always feels like a new experience, and it really helps take me out of my everyday routine and brings me into the moment of not only where I am, but where I’m going. 

 

Once I arrive on the island, I like the fact that I am familiar enough with the location that I can make my way around, but enough time has passed for any changes to be new and exciting, and I revel in that sense of discovery. Vancouver Island has such a different look and feel to mainland British Columbia, where on the island everything seems to be a bit slower-paced and smaller in scale. Even when driving through the busier and denser parts of Victoria, BC’s capital city has a uniquely distinct feeling compared to that of Vancouver. I really enjoy this difference: you get the feeling that everyone there is just moving around at their own pace. Victoria is large enough to have a wide variety of businesses and landmarks, but yet it is still small enough so that you don’t have to spend hours walking to any one destination. Furthermore, the atmosphere on the island is much more old-fashioned, and the buildings and the appearance of the city is far less modern. Much of Victoria has maintained the look it had from the 19th century, and the city is flooded with history.

 

Every time you walk down the streets you can still see the history written in the very buildings and their architecture. The provincial government’s legislative buildings as a tourist attraction right in the heart of downtown certainly helps to preserve the overall image of the city. Further out, you can still feel the influence of the British colonial settlers, especially when it comes to the many old-style pubs with names like Six Mile Pub and Four Mile House – as these kinds of establishments acted as inns for the original roadway through the interior of the island. It seems everywhere you turn there is something of historical significance, and Vancouver Island embraces this. 

 

So, while the city of Victoria itself is very nice and has a great energy about it, of course the main reason that I love going to the island is to spend time with my family. When I spend time with my family, life just has a different feel to it: I don’t have to deal with nearly as many adult responsibilities and I am flooded with nostalgic emotions from when I was growing up. Now, I do believe that these emotions may have been amplified recently since the world has fallen into this pandemic, and I have not been able to see my family in over a year and a half. I now have a new appreciation for the old adage “Absence makes the heart grow fonder!” With that in mind, I do still love every moment that I am on the island: going out to eat at any of the incredible old-fashioned pubs, visiting the lovely gardens or wandering around the historic downtown core. I love being there and I do hope that one day I can make Vancouver Island my home. Until then, every time I visit I think: I’m going back to my favourite place.

What’s your favourite place? Reminisce with members of the Low Entropy community on our community platform, or join a Conscious Connections meeting to share your memories!

On Fear and Happiness

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Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Kat Z starts with questions about leadership, and arrives at a galvanizing answer about self-respect.

 

To rule with fear or respect – it’s a question that distinguishes different types of leaders. Which is truly more effective in the eyes of the amassed crowd? How does a single person grasp the spirit of the people in a way that produces a productive result? Leadership involves maintaining a grip on the reins of the herd, but what, really, is the right way of doing this?

 

Every person responds to people in positions of power differently. Some find a threatening stature to be the most impactful, and are motivated by avoiding the dangers of failure. Others require a kind, supporting figure to succeed. They enjoy life led towards prosperity with a gentle hand.

 

You can notice these various styles of leadership in every political figure. There are democratic candidates: those who must vie for the admiration of the public in order to be elected. Alternatively, there are dictators. Dictators, or any other tyrannical leader, feed off the fear of their people to remain in power.

 

In some ways, using fear as a motivator can be very effective. After all, fear is a primary driver for human adaptation and survival. But there is also a high cost: a greatly decreased quality of life. Consistently using extreme measures to push yourself to your limit is an incredibly taxing and tiring method. To put it in a wider view, very few countries have found lasting success using this method. An autocratic country with content citizens is not far off from an oxymoron. They’re also rarely economically profitable. An afraid and unhappy population does not produce the greatest quality, or quantity, of work. Fear is a method designed to defeat the strongest of us.

 

This doesn’t only ring true in politics. This rule can be applied to any single person’s communication style. And it can be seen in how we respond to different people. 

 

Most importantly, it can be seen in how we treat ourselves.

 

We aren’t just born this way, as some may lead you to believe. We are taught how to handle ourselves by witnessing the influential people in our lives. Whether they be our parents, siblings, grandparents or someone unrelated to us, their actions will be reflected in ours. We, as the next generation, will then go on to influence our children.

 

If we rely on fear, the parasitic pain that results is allowed to propagate. Then how can I possibly escape my own brain?

 

Your neurological system has been taught that fear is the best possible way of achieving success in life. It will never knowingly try to bring itself down, it’s just doing the best it can with the given circumstances.

 

The genetic staircase that brings about these views may seem insurmountable, but that is not the case. The importance of treating yourself gently can be learnt with time and patience. However, in order to rewire your brain, you must first be aware of how negative treatment came about as the default. To effectively move on, we must look back and reflect on the past. Thoroughly processing the details of your upbringing can be an incredibly harrowing experience, but the only way to properly treat an infection is to first release the pus that hides the wound.

 

Humans as a group have an intense need to constantly evolve. We have a drive like no other to be the most improved versions of ourselves. It can be easily forgotten that we still have some of those same primal instincts from when our ancestors lived in comparatively underdeveloped conditions. Our minds and abilities have come incredibly far, yet we still cannot seem to grasp our final existential goal. Many people think that it is tangible success, whether it involves making the most money or having the most things, though this isn’t the case. You can endlessly improve the standard of the objects around you, but a lot of the time, this will only decrease your quality of your life. 

 

In reality, the most highly evolved goal is to be able to do things purely out of enjoyment. There are entire industries that exist because of the happiness these products bring to people, whether it aids their survival or not. This is, admittedly, a problematic concept, as there are vast numbers of people all over the world who still have to worry about their most basic needs. But it does prove that the human race isn’t only a race to the finish line; it also involves appreciating what you have, when you have it.

 

This means allowing yourself to simply live life. To abandon all unnecessary stress and to remember that, in order to demand respect from others, you have to first demand it from yourself.

 

Power produced from your own pain is not power in itself, but abuse. You deserve to be happy, you deserve to believe that you can live a life that isn’t ruled by fear.

 

Each person is the sole leader of themselves, so it can’t be forgotten that the journey to a fulfilling life begins with the proper, respectful treatment of you.

Treat yourself! What makes you happy? Let us know on any of our social media channels, in the comments below or in person at a Conscious Connections meeting!

Without Villains

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It’s natural to conclude that some people are bad based on negative behaviour. Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Hayley Chan, however, asks us to think more deeply about the world, toward an appreciation of the contextual complexities that humanize us.

 

My mom was telling me about a conflict she was having with one of her friends.

 

She was upset because this friend – let’s call her Emily – basically accused my mom of excluding and using her.

 

What was most upsetting for her was that Emily didn’t use much introspection when coming to this conclusion.

 

One misunderstanding completely painted my mom as a bad friend in Emily’s eyes. In this scenario, it could be said that Emily was a bad person because she didn’t see things from my mom’s point of view, and didn’t try to do so before sending a vindictive email.

 

But with a little bit of empathy, my mom was able to understand why Emily was acting like this. She took the time to see things from Emily’s point of view – to understand that she knows this person has trust issues and is easily insecure in her relationships. This was possibly because of her distant relationship with her mother, who was cold and unkind.

 

Maybe those insights were just guesses and are not correlated to Emily’s behaviour. But what counts is the effort made to understand; My mom had empathy for someone who characterized her as a bad friend and person – something she is not – even though she wasn’t given the same courtesy.

 

As explained in attribution theory, when someone does something wrong, it’s easy for others to attribute those actions strictly to the person they are. On the flip side, when we do something wrong, it’s easy for us to attribute it to external circumstances.

 

The saying “Treat others how you’d want to be treated” is relevant here in terms of questioning whether empathy is the key to ending the good guys vs bad guys mentality, and I believe it is – especially in a society where “cancel culture” is a habitual response. When people make insensitive comments, whether they be racially insensitive, emotionally insensitive, etc. their entire character is not just questioned, but assumed to be entirely immoral. People often rush to these conclusions and then boom – you’re banished from the good graces of Instagram.

 

And ironically, one of the things a lot of people try to promote on social media is self-love, forgiveness and growth. Although these messages are often supportive and positive, when someone does something “wrong,” these same people preaching positivity and growth aren’t giving the same encouragement to those ousted by society for making a not-so-conscientious comment.

 

Maybe if we refocus our energy on trying to understand others and where they’re coming from, we’ll be able to see the words and actions of others more clearly, rather than deeming them strictly good or bad.

 

It seems like it would just be easier to be more understanding to ourselves and others. However, I can understand why most people talk the talk about empathy and kindness without following through. Empathy is not always easy. Taking the time to understand others is probably the hardest part of taking an empathetic response to a problematic situation. It’s so easy to see things through your own perspective because it’s a daily habit. For example, if your friend is talking to you about their partner who is not a great verbal communicator, and you have just come out of a bad relationship with someone who lied to you constantly, are you likely to first acknowledge the fact that their partner is probably busy with school or work and shows affection with quality time? Or is the first thought that comes to mind more likely to resonate with the fact that most people cannot be trusted and if they seem like liars from one observation, they probably are? 

 

How often do we first see things from a different perspective than our own?

 

Some people may be more naturally empathetic than others, but it is not necessarily a subconscious decision to think critically about the behaviours of others. Like any good habit, you must put in the work to ingrain it into your mental library of routines. And with practice, it gets easier to instinctively pull that habit from the shelf.

 

I think empathy can end the good guys vs bad guys mentality, but empathy, putting yourself in someone’s shoes, is not always a natural instinct, and that’s okay. It doesn’t make you a bad person. It doesn’t make Emily, my mom’s friend, a bad person for not being able to practice empathy in the scenario I described. And it doesn’t make people on social media bad people for preaching more about forgiveness and growth than walking the walk. Practising empathy is a skill, and when learned and executed, can help us differentiate between a bad action and a bad person.

Can you recall a time when you were able to understand someone who hurt you? Tell us your story in the comments below or join our live discussions in a Conscious Connections meeting!

Epic Empathy

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Critical hits, rolling for initiative, blundering botches and total party kills . . . it’s all super fun, nerdy stuff. But empathy? In Dungeons & Dragons? Low Entropy Volunteer Writer James Phan explains how connecting with others’ emotions is actually one of the keys to a truly epic campaign.

 

As you’re drawn into a story, raw feelings are no coincidence. Emotions are the stuff that connects us to the world and makes for powerful storytelling. To demonstrate this, we could break down emotional story elements in a novel, but here’s a plot twist: we’re rolling for dungeons and dragons.

 

If we are to explore the power of empathy in storytelling, Dungeons & Dragons (or “DnD,” for short) is a surprisingly authentic platform to learn about the subject. Even though books have long been the standard medium of storytelling, and while DnD is a much younger, niche medium, the game shares with books many elements involving immersive story experiences.

 

Getting Familiar with The Game

 

Rowan Yates from Victoria, BC, an expert host for DnD with 15 years of experience, helped me understand the basics of the game. Briefly speaking, the heavily imaginative game usually involves three to seven players who play as a team of characters and one dungeon master (or “DM”), the assigned creator of a given fantasy world with a unique nature that governs it. The DM facilitates the story’s progression. Win conditions vary and are decided by the DMs, but “winning” is extremely subjective. For Rowan, who works at the Victoria Disability Resource Centre, partners with AIDS Vancouver Island to co-facilitate Queerabilities Victoria and spends his free time as a fierce warrior who whets his battle spirit in a modern medieval fighting sport known as buhurt, a DnD win isn’t as much about the results as it is about the players having fun. It could be about battling a dragon, finding treasure or yammering at a tavern for three hours.

 

Onwards! A Unique Storyteller

 

What’s unique about the narrative gameplay of DnD is its candidness as the story unfolds. Events evoke emotional responses almost immediately. A player may sense her character’s life threatened, and her response will shape the next event. At times, the story can have messy moments, like behind-the-scenes footage in movies, due to the game’s nature to incentivize player creativity. Players can fall out of character and revise their talents, or the DM might commit a story blooper and improvise a narrative on that. A novel can tell the same story across the general public, but DnD personalizes its story only to the handful of players, with the story material dependent on the unique personalities in the team. Unlike books, the game seals no fate; the story is fluid and ever-changing. 

 

Onwards! A Sense of Community

 

Once in the game, DnD is storytelling from the heart, with empathy at its core. The setting is revealed, and the conflict is foretold. Danger is afoot. How will the heroes proceed? An introduction haunted by uncertainty and inevitability is a construct in many fictional works. In a book, readers at this discovery stage may or may not begin to empathize with the protagonist, but in DnD’s narrative, the audience members are also the main characters, immersed in a shared, empathetic experience. 

 

As cooperative storytelling, players shape the nature of their teamwork against imminent threats. There’s a sense of shared responsibility, shared excitement for risk and reward, and a common feeling of novelty. Through the forming of a shared DnD story, group members develop empathy with each other. In the real world, a companionate work culture promotes empathy, which improves teamwork and business proficiency. A good DnD story, similarly, improves teamwork that, in turn, feeds back into the story.

Onwards! Individual Revelations

 

In a novel, readers may or may not become more accepting of flaws in a protagonist, while in DnD, acceptance of imperfection is strongly encouraged among the players. Teammates must accept the characteristics of their own alter ego (characters have qualities that are not in their player’s control), but also of the behaviour, temperaments and other nuances of their team members. In a way, this is similar to empathic training, where subjects are encouraged to participate in activities outside of their identity, such as acting or reading fiction. Being in the shoes of others can expand one’s perception, emotionally and intellectually.

 

A player’s chosen character can also reflect suppressed thoughts or personality. By being another identity, the individual has the opportunity to explore unknown desires and values. Throughout the game, the player can become more comfortable with their character development, which can progress to self-empathy. DnD provides a safe platform for this kind of experiential discovery, which can be limited or inaccessible outside of its realm.

 

Aaand Onwards! Narrative Leadership

 

Rowan and other DMs rely on empathy to facilitate their games. They heed their players’ emotional and physical cues to decide what happens next, including when and how to introduce story material to keep everyone engaged. Even before the story begins, a good DM should have a keen idea of who the players are in order to understand what mechanics, themes and play style might work for the group. In 2009, Google wanted to improve managerial performance in research called Project Oxygen. The research team found that the best managers were those who spent time with their team, giving one-on-one attention, providing goal clarity and caring about individual desires and values. Great DMs are like these effective managers, attentive to the players so that the narrative resonates with personalized meaning.

 

Halt! The Conclusion

 

Think of DnD like an open book for a party to colour into, while everyone flips the pages together. If someone has a funny moment, everyone is sharing laughter. If there’s a struggle, everyone feels the heat. If mistakes are made, DnD’s improvisational roleplaying makes imperfection okay, and empathy seeds forgiveness. The story is built with empathy and without it, there is no onwards.

 

Whether or not you’re a fan of DnD, it’s safe to assume that we all lose ourselves in a moment of good storytelling. There’s something to learn and something to gain, and – like in Dungeons & Dragons – the journey is about learning along the way. Empathy is a powerful conduit in all storytelling, as it bridges our sense of connection outside of our own worlds.  

 

What ho! I beseech thee, fly onwards again to our comments section or Instagram account or maybe a Conscious Connections meet-up, where we shall engage in mirthful discourse on the nature and value of empathy! Godspeed!

Toxic Masculinity

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You’ve probably heard of the term, and it definitely sounds bad. But what is toxic masculinity, why should we be concerned about it and how can we address it ? Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Elizabeth Atkinson explains.

 

Toxic masculinity is when masculine traits are taken to the extreme, where they become harmful for everyone. When discussing toxic masculinity, it is not an attempt to say that everything masculine is inherently toxic. It is instead a warping of seemingly positive traits into dangerous traits and ideologies. It is also important to note that men are frequently encouraged to engage in such toxic behaviour from outside sources such as parents, family, friends and media. A few examples include the phrases “man up,” “be a man” and even starting as young as “boys will be boys.” All of these phrases encourage and idealize a version of masculinity that is being more and more recognized as troublesome. 

 

Some positive masculine traits include strength, courage and independence. These traits can be taken to the extreme to where they are no longer positive. A few common traits associated with toxic masculinity include lack of emotions, lack of social awareness, aggression, exaggerated competitiveness, domination, violence, isolation and sexism. There is often a disconnect that obscures problematic masculine traits with seemingly positive ones. For example, seeking help for mental or physical health is often viewed as a sign of weakness. Therefore, men who want to show strength and resilience are less likely to get treatment and more likely to suffer emotionally or physically. This is incredibly dangerous not just physically, but emotionally, as men are likely to suffer from body image issues, depression, stress, anxiety, etc., and they are socially pressured to suffer alone. This is one example of how seemingly positive traits can have negative effects. 

 

Toxic masculinity can affect everyone, not just the individual with toxic traits. Toxic masculinity can also take a toll on both romantic and platonic relationships. For romantic relationships, the role toxic masculinity plays may be subtle. Some toxic traits to look for include one partner making all the decisions, especially financially. Financial independence is important, and that independence can be taken away by a partner who wants to feel in control of the finances as well as other major life decisions. Needing control is one example of toxic masculinity that can negatively impact a relationship. Another example is men who do not share the housework evenly. This example goes back to traditional gender roles, in which cleaning a house would be considered a woman’s duty. By not helping, such men are clearly implying, either verbally or through their actions, that they are somehow above doing “women’s work.” This implies that they believe they are better than women, which is why sexism is so prevalent in toxic masculinity and its effects on others. 

 

Toxic masculinity holds perceived masculinity on a pedestal by rejecting and dismissing people and things that do not fit into the box that is “masculinity.” I put this in quotation marks, as masculinity is actually a perceived concept that is up to each person to define on their own terms. There is no one person or source who gets to decide what masculinity means or how it should be embodied. This false feeling of masculine superiority often leads to issues for those who don’t exude masculinity in a traditional fashion. This can lead to violence and bullying. A common complaint with toxic masculinity is that it is antifeminine. The perspective of toxic masculinity is that masculinity is better than femininity. Therefore women, and those who prefer to exude more feminine qualities, are othered and treated as less than equal. Some examples of this that may be enacted consciously or subconsciously include broad issues such as sexism, to specific issues, such as passing over women for job promotion opportunities for leadership positions, based on the idea that men make better leaders. 

 

In order to combat toxic masculinity, one does not have to denounce all things traditionally masculine. As previously stated, masculinity can be defined by every person on their own terms. Simply talking more about toxic masculinity is a way of subverting it, as it goes against the idea that reaching out for help is shameful or bad. Another way to fight toxic masculinity is to reflect and think critically about our daily actions. Focus on why we do the things we do, as this is a way to check your own privilege. By checking your privilege, you are able to adjust your actions moving forward if you find that you are in the wrong. This self-reflection is key for everyone to help put an end to toxic masculinity.

 

One way to avoid isolation and get in touch with your emotions is to hop into a Conscious Connections session, with its diverse and supportive participants. Or if you’re not ready for that just yet, you can reach out to our community on one of our many social media platforms – we can’t wait to hear from you!

How to Cope with Racial Tension as a Biracial Person (and Take Your Power Back!)

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Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Daniel Quinney’s mixed-race background has prompted the same set of conversational questions over and over again, but for a long time Daniel struggled with finding an answer to feeling disconnected and excluded. For anyone who has felt the same way in this increasingly polarized world, Daniel shares some ideas on how to create a space where you belong.

 

As an individual of biracial heritage with an Irish-Canadian mother and an African father, I have always struggled with the fact that I often feel that I come from two different worlds.

 

How can a person, with one parent from a dominant group in society and another from a racialized group, deal with the tension that arises from belonging to both groups? Or the unwelcome feeling that they belong to neither?

 

How do we find our voice to speak up and live our truth as only we can?

 

Too black for white people. Too white for black people. 

 

I’ve heard these sentiments echoed often from people I know who have mixed-race backgrounds like mine. 

 

When I was younger, people would ask, “So, what are you?” Of course, it would be game time for me at this point, so I would tell them that I am a person.

 

A human was also acceptable if I wanted to be extra cute.

 

So they would then ask, “Ok, but what is your nationality? “

 

I would say Canadian. They would come back with, “Yeah, yeah, but what is your ethnicity?”

 

I knew what they were getting at. Even though I was born in Vancouver, I would eventually relent and give them what they want.

 

Half-Tanzanian, half-Irish, I would say. 

 

At an earlier age, I would have simply said half-African, but as time passed I think I wanted to up the level of difficulty a little (a bit of a pattern with me).

 

Yet ever since I found a deeper appreciation for the African side of my identity as a teenager, I often had this nagging feeling that half of me was on the wrong side of a conversation or dispute that had been going on long before I was born.

 

I gradually came to understand that people of all walks of life, of all colours, abilities, genders and orientations, can feel disconnected or without a sense of belonging in this world, and that I didn’t have a monopoly on that feeling of not fitting in. Over time, I found constructive ways to do something about what I was experiencing.

 

Along that journey, I developed coping mechanisms to give myself, as a biracial person, a sense of place and belonging in the world. I hope I have done an adequate job of passing these on to my children, and others as well.

 

  • Love your uniqueness: Only you are exactly like you. Be proud of yourself, both mentally and physically. Textured hair? Green eyes? Big ol’ butt? Don’t be ashamed of the features that make you unique as a mixed-race person. Don’t hide what you are, embrace it. Forget about the so-called “traditional” standard of beauty; it’s a new world out there. 

 

  • Use your creative voice at work and within your community: Be vocal about the things you care about. Listen to the stories of other voices, other communities, other races. Support causes you truly believe in. If you are an artist of any kind, reflect that passion in your artwork, whatever it is, since it is a reflection of you and your thoughts.

 

  • If you can’t give dollars, give your time:  Give back to the generations that are coming up. Volunteer to be a mentor, or a tutor if you are an expert in your field. By the way, we are all experts in something. Time to pay it forward.

 

  • Share your culture: Go to the festivals. Celebrate the customs of both cultures, whatever they may be. Talk about your history and the story of your family. Encourage strong ties with grandparents on both sides. Embrace and show off the things you enjoy about your culture(s) with your kids, and your friends too. 

 

  • It’s OK to not talk about race all the time: Not everyone is a Malcolm X or an Oprah or MLK or Obama, and that’s just fine. People define themselves in different ways, least of all by race, and that’s the way it should be.

 

  • Don’t play the role or try to fit a stereotype: Find positive role models who look like you and embody the way you want to be and how you want to live. Trust me, they’re out there in abundance.

 

  • Racist situations can be teaching opportunities: If people you encounter in everyday life say inappropriate or racist things, call it what it is . . . politely and in a nonviolent way. Safety is the priority, no matter what feelings get riled up in the heat of the moment. This is a time to show others the way to confront racism, so take advantage of it. Take emotions out of it, and just call it by name and say why it is wrong, but be safe.

 

  • Take care of yourself: The endless race and culture debate, whether experienced first-hand in a spirited discussion with colleagues or through the media, can bring a kind of fatigue or numbness. When this occurs, in your personal life or out in the world, make sure to take some time out for yourself to reflect and heal.

 

  • Be prepared to talk about the bad days as well as the good: Talk about racism, the legacy of slavery and other uncomfortable things, and in the process, you will educate others, both on the progress that has been made and how we still have to move forward. Truth is truth.

 

How has your race, ethnicity and/or nationality informed who you are? Share your stories with us on any of our social media platforms, in person at a Conscious Connections meeting, or simply hop down to the comments below!

Leading: The Way

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Great leaders are born and made. How? Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Emma Norton explains.

 

What does it take to be a good leader? Some people are naturals, even born with it. They have a level of strength and integrity that is inherent. 

Alternatively, some leaders evolve through experience. They rise above situations designed to pin them down. A compelling leader refuses to settle and brings their team members along with them for evolutionary growth. The blend of these two aspects provides a leader with the prime positioning for excellence. 

 

What, then, makes a bad leader? A few global politicos could come to mind, or perhaps an egomaniac boss from your (hopefully) past. Such individuals have misconstrued the role or archetype of a leader. When someone in a position of power takes advantage of their role and forgets the inherent truth that we are all equal and helping each other strive toward change, it not only dims their light, but affects those who, sometimes in a blind trust, follow them. This is what provides a leader with power: it’s not necessarily just from their job title, but from everyday interpersonal interactions. In these contexts, the stronger person will always be able to take charge. In that strength, we must remember the keyword of integrity, which some leaders are missing. They use their positions to fuel their insecurities rather than choose humility.

 

Take the analogy of an athlete-turned-coach. As an athlete, you play a sport for however many years. You learn, you cultivate your talents and you hone your skill set. What would position you as a good coach (a leader) is knowing the sport itself from many angles. You have an innate ability to educate and support an athlete without letting your egocentric needs get in the way, as you are fulfilled and own your position of power. You understand the concept of paying it forward. You take your ability to impact others as a form of responsibility. What makes a great coach is the ability to help their athlete thrive by supporting and pushing them toward success — the same with a leader in any scenario. There is no sense of a threat; there is a strategy toward collective empowerment.

 

At some point in all of our lives, we are considered leaders. Whether it’s as a parent, older sibling or within a professional setting, everyone will face a situation where they can opt to lead with inspired action. A good and empowered leader openly works on themselves and inspires others to do the same. They remain compassionate, yet driven. They create a feeling of safety for those who follow them, and they respect their position of power. 

 

Whether leadership is, for you, a goal that stems from a desire to obtain a certain status or something at which you have a natural aptitude, there are challenges with assuming a leadership identity. Impostor syndrome can sink in, or the responsibility, at times, can be daunting, especially if leadership is not what you signed up for in the first place. Uncertainty is what causes this stress. It is invaluable to remember to breathe. If you are creating a chain reaction with your choices, make sure they are good ones. An effective leader takes the time to breathe and review everything thoroughly. They do not act in haste, but rather as best they can through the lens of compassion.

 

If you are in a leadership position and feel uncomfortable, remember that all you have to do is live with integrity and honesty. Those who follow you will find that inspiration for themselves. We can only be human, but the mastery of what we project outward is where true leaders are born. A leader puts out constant reminders to treat others how they would like to be treated. And as a leader, we have to pull others up to our level, not allow trivial and pointed things to drag us down. We may not be able to change others’ perceptions, but when we lead with integrity and set our best example, that should be our sole responsibility and concern. 

What makes a great leader in your eyes? Share your thoughts with us on any of our social media platforms, or join our community to engage with the vibrant leaders who make Low Entropy happen!

Beyond Difficult

Posted on by andrew

It’s all too easy to ignore others’ struggles. Marginalization is real, and it is perpetuated when the needs of smaller, disadvantaged populations are deprioritized in favour of the overriding concerns (or comforts) of those in power. Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Elizabeth Atkinson understands this all too well.

 

Let’s just call a spade a spade. Living with a disability is difficult. Living with a disability during a global pandemic when you are a high-risk individual? Beyond difficult. It takes a different kind of strength that most people won’t understand. This is not to dismiss the issues that healthy people without disabilities have had during this pandemic. I do not mean to suggest that the pandemic has been easy on anyone. Everyone has their own personal struggles, and being a high-risk person during a global pandemic is my struggle. Everyday I battle fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis and a pituitary adenoma, as well as multiple autoimmune disorders that require me to take immunosuppressants. This makes me very high risk for illness in general, let alone COVID-19. 

 

Isolation is one of the major issues chronically ill people are facing during the pandemic. Staying home and staying safe is something everyone should try to do, because when this illness spreads, you may or may not know if you are a carrier. Staying home to stay safe is easier said than done. Some people tell me to “get out for a walk,” or “go for a drive.” This is also easier said than done. Personally, getting out for a walk can be an ordeal, depending on the day, the weather, my energy levels, whether or not I have access to my walking supports, etc. Plus, depending on where you live, getting out for a walk may surround you with people, making social distancing an unviable option. For example, I live in a crowded area, and leaving the house for a quick stroll surrounds me with people who may or may not be wearing masks and respecting personal boundaries. I also cannot drive due to the side effects of my medications. These restrictions compound COVID-19-related isolation, which leads to feeling trapped by your illness more so than usual. Sometimes what works for healthy people without disabilities does not work for people in the chronic illness community. 

 

Living through this global pandemic while having a disability has also brought on a lot of mixed emotions. Fewer people say hurtful comments such as, “I wish I could stay home all day and not have to work.” I guess some people are realizing that having to stay home is not the same as getting to stay home. One is a lack of choice, while the other is considered a privilege. However, I would take back this minor satisfaction for people to be able to live freely. I experience another mixed emotion seeing many jobs being worked remotely. Many organizations have expressed interest in keeping certain jobs as remote work even after the worst of this pandemic has passed. I am very happy more remote work jobs are available and it is being seen as a more viable option. However, I can’t help but be frustrated that, after years of begging for this issue to be looked at, it took healthy people without disabilities needing a solution for most workplaces to come up with one. I can’t help but admit that it does sting that the disably community’s cries for accomodation were not enough in the past. 

 

Other solutions to problems people with disabilities face, such as contactless delivery, the ease of ordering groceries and having them delivered to the door, etc., are all good changes that I hope stay in place post-pandemic. While the systems in place are certainly not perfect, they are helping make staying isolated easier. One way these systems can be improved is having groceries delivered to the door, instead of to the lobby, if you live in a multi-unit building. I have to frequently put in the note to the delivery person, “Please bring to door – disabled and cannot carry groceries.” Even with this added note, sometimes my groceries are still dropped off in the lobby and I have to come up with creative ways to get them upstairs to my fridge. Often, but not always, I can rely on the kindness of strangers. This is

not ideal, as it takes away feelings of independence. Additionally, it is hard to rely on strangers when you are supposed to be keeping your distance. 

 

One of the worst parts of this pandemic has been the lack of consideration for high-risk people. The number of people who say or write insensitive comments such as, “Oh, I am okay, this illness only affects people with underlying conditions or old people,” is astounding. This complete disregard for my life and others just like me is so widespread and so hurtful. It comes from family, from friends and from strangers, and reading it never gets easier. It has led me to lose multiple friends and other people I previously viewed as support, as they relentlessly made their opinions on where people with disabilities land on the social ladder very well known. The more people think they’re immune from serious consequences due to the virus, the longer the lockdowns and isolation periods will be for people who cannot safely take the same risks as others. It is a reminder that I am viewed as less than others because my body does not work in the same ways. 

 

All in all, I hope this pandemic teaches people a valuable lesson about treating disabled people with kindness, compassion and accommodation. I hope people remember how isolation and lack of freedoms can make a person feel deeply restricted. More than anything, I hope people remember that everyone is facing a struggle, and now is the time to be kind and considerate. Disabled people, just like me, deserve better than to feel like they come in last.

 

Thank you for sharing your story and perspective with us, Elizabeth. If you’ve got a story to tell, bring it to a Conscious Connections meeting, or tell it on any one of our social media channels.

All at Sea

Posted on by andrew

The Wellerman didn’t exactly bring sugar and tea and rum this time, but as Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Mike Vaness details, it did kick off an online phenomenon that brought creativity and togetherness to a population craving connection.

 

Could we have predicted the recent online popularity of the sea shanty? This is a style of song that was originally made popular on 19th-century sailing ships and has recently blown up, with many people putting their own spin to the classic song on social media. But what exactly is a sea shanty? Where did it originate? And why has it become so appealing to those of us landbound, in the modern day? Well, I would like to take this time to open your eyes to this recent internet craze, give a very brief history of the style, and explore why so many people are now having fun creating and singing some of these old tunes.

 

As its name suggests, the sea shanty originated on large sailing ships that had crews of men numbering in the dozens – and occasionally into the hundreds! In the 19th century, sailing was a great deal different than what we know today, and duties were all done manually, such as hoisting the sales, manning the capstan (a winch used to hoist the anchor), hauling rope and even rowing for some ships. It was imperative for efficiency that the men work in unison, and the steady rhythm of these songs helped maintain their timing, strength and stamina. Many of the men working these jobs had to endure long working days, poor food, low nutrition and miserable sleeping conditions. Despite these quality issues, ships where the crew was allowed to sing found that the sea shanty greatly helped the timing of the working day – not to mention a becoming a free method of entertainment, a way to help pass the time and a mutual bonding experience for the whole crew. 

 

So, what does all of this mean for us today? We are able to work independently and sometimes remotely, and with the amount of automation available, large labour crews are far less common in the 21st century. One working theory about the sea shanty’s new popularity is that it is usually a very catchy and simple tune! You do not need to be a particularly talented singer in order to participate, as the strength of the song is not about the melody, but about the rhythm and pace. This simplicity allows anyone – regardless of their level of skill – the ability to participate. In addition, the collective and choral nature of the song brings the singers into a single uniting rhythm, which conveys a feeling of togetherness and cooperation. We’ve seen that a group of people can set up a multi-person call, and everyone can contribute not only vocals, but also instrumentation, percussion or elsewise adding their own personal flavour to the song. The music only becomes richer with the more personalities that add to it.

 

Recently, one of the most popular songs online has been the whaling song, “The Wellerman”. This was made popular not too long ago by a solo performance hosted on the video site TikTok. Since then, many talented people have added to the first video, and now all kinds of people are posting their own versions. This creative imperative is what is great about these folk songs: there is no “correct” version. You can even create a song in the same vein as “The Wellerman”, but you can make your own lyrics, change the topic, add different instruments or whatever you want! This adaptability has really helped this type of song gain unexpected popularity – you can get anyone and everyone involved in the act. This collaborative effort creates exactly the type of song where you do not need to be particularly experienced or talented in order to have a lot of fun. If you want, you can sit on a Zoom call with friends, have either a musical track running or – even better – have someone play instruments, and just have a good time enjoying singing live with your friends. This isn’t karaoke – this is your own music, your own creation, and the more personality you put into it, the better it becomes.

 

Sea shanties seem even more fun and powerful when experienced with a full group of people. The collective experience draws upon the roots of the music: the rhythm and timing of men working on a ship, putting voice to daily complaints and injustices and then drawing a bit of joy from the collaboration of their peers. Many of us in the present day could benefit from this direct sense of togetherness, particularly in these times of isolation. We all remember fondly the time we could get together with our friends and break out in song. As these talented musicians we’ve seen on TikTok and YouTube have demonstrated, even for those who are not as musically inclined, this is a great way to feel closer to your friends or family. Music has a particular way of bringing people together – even in times where we are literally being instructed to stay apart. So the next time you are feeling lonely and want to find something that helps you connect with your important people? Try drawing on the old-time sea shanty, and belt out a tune with your friends!

 

Did you know that Low Entropy has a TikTok account? Maybe we could collaborate on another viral hit – check us out there or jump in on a Conscious Connections meeting to engage with our awesome community!

Modern Isolation

Posted on by andrew

Right now, we have never been more united, and at the same time never more alone. This global pandemic is impacting everyone’s lives in ways that – for many of us – is completely unprecedented. We have to deal with a reality where we are all being encouraged to stay home, avoid others, and choose who will be allowed within our personal “bubbles” – which of our friends and family will make the cut? Who can we not live without? Who can we not risk visiting, in case we ourselves are a danger to them? Who cares enough to stay in touch?

         As this pandemic continues to impact our daily lives, we need to find strategies to cope. There is a great deal of pressure to find a solution, and find it now. This is a novel experience of isolation and loneliness: even if we are sheltering in place while surrounded by family, we have a sense of being caged and restricted from our normal lives. We have lost the sense of freedom, relaxation, and emotional support gained from our favorite places, people, and activities. With this loss, I have seen a new sense of depression and malaise in many friends and colleagues. With this sense of sadness, it makes reaching out to friends and family that much more difficult. Negative thoughts prevent us from just starting what should be an easy conversation: “Do they even want to hear from me?”  “I could call or message them, but I have nothing to talk about.”

         It is very difficult to break out of a depressive spiral on your own, and even if you have a supportive family or partner at home, sometimes it takes a bit more. It’s okay, it’s understandable, and there are solutions available. When we feel so isolated, having a fresh group of people can bring an objective and uplifting look to help brighten up your life. It is amazing how this situation can feel so numbing and overwhelming, but as soon as you start talking about it out loud, a whole new perspective can be achieved. This is one of the best benefits of meeting with a support group like Conscious Connections – you can speak openly and candidly about your thoughts, feelings, and experiences, and connect with other people who are working through the same challenges.

         Conscious Connections strives to be an open and supportive space, helping those in our community who feel alone and in need of conversation and acceptance. If it’s a challenge to just get through each day, it’s so important to know that there are options out there for people who need some positivity, or who would really benefit from a new connection with peers. Your peer-sharing circle will help ease the hard times, and celebrate victories and successes with authenticity. It is always uplifting to know that we are not alone in a world that has made it all too easy to be in isolation.

 

Author: Mike Vanessa