Category: friendship

Deema Khalil (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

Friendship, a deep and meaningful connection, is often built on shared interests, values and experiences. We often seek friends who understand us, resonate with our perspectives and bring a sense of belonging into our lives. But within the wide range of human diversity, how much common ground is truly necessary to cultivate a meaningful friendship? Can a friendship grow in the absence of shared interests and experiences?

It’s natural to gravitate towards those who mirror our preferences, as these similarities provide us with validation and understanding, but the depth of human connection extends beyond perceived similarities and into the realm of empathy, respect and acceptance. For the majority of my life, I was too fixated on similarities and struggled to make and maintain friendships. I believed that a friend was someone with whom I must share a lot in common; otherwise, our friendship wouldn’t last and it wouldn’t be worth the effort. However, once I started opening myself up more, stepping outside my comfort zone and meeting new people without judging their potential, I found myself much more satisfied in my friendships. I became less focused on finding all that I have in common with someone and more open to letting the connection between us naturally unfold.

It’s worth acknowledging the role of curiosity and open-mindedness in nurturing friendships across differences. When you allow yourself to connect with people whose paths may seem very different from yours, your approach shifts from being mind-centered to soul-centered. In this soul-centered approach, you’re more likely to seek traits such as integrity, kindness, honesty and loyalty. These values ultimately form the moral compass of the friendship.

However, implementing this approach may be more challenging than simply understanding it. Building friendships across diverse backgrounds may involve confronting your own assumptions and biases, and cultivating genuine curiosity about the perspectives and experiences of others, even if they differ greatly from your own. Confronting and challenging our biases requires social awareness and conscious effort, but the outcomes are truly worth it!

From my personal experience, I found that one of the most fulfilling aspects of friendships that went beyond shared interests and experiences was the opportunity for personal growth. Interacting with people who have different viewpoints can broaden your knowledge, challenge your beliefs and encourage you to see the world from a different perspective. These friendships can inspire creativity and deepen your understanding of human nature.

So, as you navigate the journey of friendship, cherish those connections that challenge you, inspire you and remind you of the boundless potential of human connection. Be patient with yourself and with others, and approach each interaction with sincerity and authenticity. Remember that there is much more to humans than what appears on the surface. While shared interests and experiences may initially bring people together, it is the underlying values, respect and emotional connection that sustain bonds over time.

Ultimately, the “rightness” of a friendship goes beyond logic, guided by an intuitive sense of connection and resonance. So, how little can you have in common with a friend? Perhaps less than you think, as long as the essence of understanding and connection remains.

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Deema Katrina is a blogger from Montreal, Canada. She comes from a science background and currently works in the drug development industry, but her interests go beyond that. Some of the topics she passionately explores are self-awareness, personal development and financial literacy. She believes that every person has the capacity to succeed when given the right tools and resources. Her goal is to share the knowledge she learned from delving into these topics and help others become better versions of themselves.

Erica Dionora (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

In an age of increasing social isolation, meaningful friendships are akin to finding gold in sewage. Despite the modern-day motif of a connected society, it isn’t uncommon that so many of us find our friendship circles going adrift or fizzling out altogether.

The fact is, everything is too expensive and everyone is so bogged down juggling their multiple jobs and full-time studies to even socialize. Most people work two jobs to survive or, instead, work in addition to studying full-time. People move cities, states, provinces or countries, and many people live at a distance from their environment’s social hub spots. Yet, the personal relationships that we cultivate are what add colour and bring meaning to our daily toil and labour. 

Friendships are necessary to our well-being. 

Last fall, I went painting with a few friends at a local community centre. While waiting at a bus stop, one friend told me about how she believed that she was a dog in her past life. She said, quite solemnly, that certain scents gave her a rush of memories: joy, sadness, longing. Then, another friend declared that he must have been a rock. We laughed until the sun set; it seemed like the bus waited until we all emptied our bellies of laughter before it finally arrived. 

As with many other things, such long-lasting friendships require deliberate effort. While not all friendships last, there are certainly some friendships that see you into old age (or maybe even into your next life). 

Once, in the summer of 2021, a former childhood friend invited me to have an early dinner with her at a local Japanese fusion restaurant downtown. At the time, I remember feeling simultaneously surprised and excited when I received her invite, because it had been months, if not a full year, since she had last reached out to me. It was only during our dinner that I understood why she had sought my company in the first place—her boyfriend had broken up with her. My friendship was merely an understudy to the role that a romantic partner had played in her life. A week following our dinner, she and her ex got back together, and not long after, our friendship had gone quietly into the night. Although she hasn’t invited me out for lunch or dinner since, the ghost of our friendship is peacefully at rest.

Sometimes people grow apart; a difference in values cannot be helped, nor should it be ignored. Nevertheless, there is no relationship that falls into place without either party meaning to—we must choose the people in our lives, and we must make the decision to actively be a part of our friends’ lives. It may not always be that you and your loved ones agree on every little thing or hang out every single week without fail. However, it takes effort to celebrate the personal milestones together, witness each other’s growth and remain close to heart, no matter where your career, family life or education takes you—this is what it means to grow with someone. 

Winning a game of Skee-Ball at an arcade bar after four tequila shots; having your first sleepover, where you spent the whole night on the phone assuring your mom that everything was going well; sketching together at various cafes downtown; drinking endless soju and eating too much barbecue; having another sleepover because your friends couldn’t take you home after you passed out drunk; getting on late night train rides; playing board game nights under a full moon; emptying your wallet of money from your part-time job at the local YMCA and then filling it with a collection of Polaroid images; losing your voice to karaoke.

I carry a flipbook of moments in my back pocket for long bus rides home, when all the wet, gray roads are congested and unnavigable, and the little hours of sunshine that I get are spent on Slack calls or in meetings with my colleagues. 

However cherished these memories are, not every person that I shared them with has grown to be a part of my present-day life. Still, such friendships have taught me that, if I wish to evolve with the people that I love, it is important that we learn to hold space for each other in our lives to grow. 

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Leave your thoughts for Erica in the comments below. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and YouTube to stay up-to-date with Low Entropy news!

Nelson Aguilera (he/him/his), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

During my flight to Vancouver, I had to make a stop in Toronto, and I felt a strong desire to reconnect with a childhood friend who resided there. I proposed meeting up at the Christmas market, always bustling with activity. As I eagerly awaited our reunion, a wave of nostalgia washed over me. Amidst the rows of festive stalls and lively chatter, I spotted my long-lost friend. At that moment, memories of our cherished bonds and countless moments of laughter and support flooded back, reminding me of the special connection we shared.

I thought of the wise words of Isabel Allende, who beautifully said, “True friendship resists time, distance, and silence.” This sentiment deeply resonated with me as I reflected on the long-lasting friendships that have shaped my life. Every time I meet an old friend, it serves as a testament to the resilience of these connections and a reaffirmation of the profound impact they continue to have on our lives.

Throughout our life journeys, we encounter individuals who leave lasting impressions on our hearts. Some are transitory companions, while others become integral parts of our lives. These enduring friendships withstand the test of time, even when geographical distance separates us. They are the kind of friends who make us feel like we truly belong, allowing us to be our authentic selves.

Reconnecting with these friends feels like stepping into a familiar home that we thought we had lost forever. It’s about reliving cherished moments, catching up on each other’s lives and embarking on new adventures together. Each friend is a unique treasure in our life, with their own peculiarities and lessons. Some are like rays of sunshine, brightening our days with their positive energy, while others are like solid mountains, providing stability when we need it most.

I’ve had the privilege of cultivating friendships in different places and moments in my life. Recently, during a visit to one of those places, I coincidentally reunited with an old friend. Just feeling that fraternal embrace was priceless. In those moments, the time elapsed since our last meeting faded away, and we immersed ourselves in a space where only laughter and new stories existed. Sometimes, the simple act of reconnecting with a lifelong friend can serve as a beacon of hope in difficult times.

Life presents us with ups and downs, and in moments of uncertainty, the presence of a friend can light the way with unconditional support.

Welcome your friends with joy. Often a simple, cheerful and spontaneous greeting conquers a heart and soothes a pain. May your friends feel the warmth of an affectionate heart in a simple and cheerful greeting.

The embrace of a dear friend can be the balm that calms our worries and infuses us with the courage needed to move forward. In an increasingly fast-paced world, genuine connection with a friend becomes a refuge of authenticity and warmth amid the frenetic activity of daily life.

Each encounter becomes a precious gift, an opportunity to celebrate the beauty of human connections and renew our commitment to cultivate and cherish these relationships throughout our lives. Reuniting with an old friend serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of human relationships in our lives. It reminds us that, despite the challenges and changes we face, there are bonds that endure, links that withstand the test of time. In that warm and comforting embrace, we find homes in each other’s hearts, refuges where we can be ourselves, without reservation or judgment.

The positive influence of friendship on our well-being is undeniable, supported by numerous studies that have established the link between strong relationships and better mental and physical health. One such study is the renowned Harvard Grant Study—a long-term study that has followed the lives of 268 individuals for 85 years. It underscores the profound impact of strong social relationships on our well-being, consistently highlighting the importance of solid social relationships, including friendships, in promoting emotional and physical well-being.

Having trusted friends we can turn to in times of need can offer us affectionate support in the face of life’s challenges. Moreover, reconnecting with friends strengthens social connections and improves our quality of life. The emotional support and sense of belonging we experience when reconnecting with old friends can act as powerful protective factors against the negative effects of stress and life’s adversities.

Perhaps this article will inspire you to remember those friends who hold a special place in your heart. Consider sending them a greeting, whether through an email or a message, sharing your thoughts and expressing your gratitude for their friendship.

In the end, it is these deep and meaningful connections that give meaning and richness to our lives, making us truly feel accompanied on our journey.

In conclusion, maintaining and cherishing old friendships is more than just reliving happy memories. It involves actively investing in our well-being through meaningful connections with people who matter to us. As we navigate through life’s twists and turns, the support and companionship of old friends can serve as a guiding light, providing us with comfort, joy and a sense of belonging. So, let’s cherish these connections, reach out to those dear friends and continue to cultivate the bonds that enrich our lives.

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Leave your thoughts for Nelson in the comments below. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and YouTube to stay up-to-date with Low Entropy news!

Diny Davis (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

“Friendship isn’t a big thing—it’s a million little things” – Paulo Coelho

Friendship is that warm, comforting glow that lights up our lives. It’s a connection that can feel as essential as the air we breathe, yet it’s one that requires nurturing, understanding and the willingness to develop. In a world where change is constant, how do we ensure that our friendships not only survive, but flourish? Let’s dive into the art of evolving with someone, growing together and maintaining those cherished bonds for a lifetime.

How to Evolve with Someone

In the journey of life, friendships are some of the most colorful paths, travelled through our joys, challenges and transformations. But as we evolve, so must our friendships. The secret to a lasting bond isn’t just shared history; it’s the ability to adapt and grow together. Here’s how:

Understanding and Acceptance

At the heart of any enduring friendship is understanding and acceptance. We all change over time, developing new interests, facing different challenges and sometimes, transforming in ways we never expected.

Embrace Changes

Recognize that your friend might develop new interests or change perspectives. It’s essential to embrace these changes, showing interest and support, even if you don’t fully understand them.

Communicate Openly

If your friend’s change seems to be causing a split, discuss it openly. Misunderstandings that are not addressed can create distance.

How to Support Each Other’s Growth

A true friend not only accepts change, but encourages growth. Whether it’s a career move, a new hobby or a personal achievement. Here is how you can be there for each other:

Be Their Cheerleader

Celebrate their victories, big and small. Let them know you’re proud of their growth.

Offer Help

If your friend is struggling with a change, be there to support them. Sometimes, just knowing someone is there can make all the difference.

Make New Memories

One of the joys of enduring friendship is plenty of shared memories. As you both evolve, it’s vital to continue creating new ones.

Try New Things Together 

Whether it’s taking a class, embarking on a trip or simply trying a new restaurant, new experiences can strengthen your bond.

Keep Up with Traditions

While trying new things is important, so is cherishing your traditions. They hold your friendship to its roots while allowing it to grow.

How to Navigate Life’s Challenges Together

Life, as we know, isn’t always smooth sailing. Facing problems together, however, can protect a friendship like nothing else.

Be a Constant

In times of change, be the constant in your friend’s life. Knowing they have someone so determined by their side can be incredibly reassuring.

Listen and Understand 

Sometimes, all we need is a listening ear and someone to understand our feelings. Be that person for your friend.

How to Embrace Mutual Respect and Love

At the foundation of every lasting friendship is mutual respect and love. This will enable us to not just enjoy each other’s company, but also respect each other’s boundaries and choices and love each other unconditionally.

Respect Boundaries

Understand and respect that your friend’s availability and priorities might change. It doesn’t mean they value your friendship any less.

Unconditional Love

True friendship means loving people, with all their flaws. It’s about sticking together, even when the going gets tough.

Friendships are like plants: they need care, nourishment and the space to grow. Let’s commit to being the kind of friend we would love to have. It’s the surest way to build and maintain the kind of friendships that light up and endure through every phase of our lives.

I dedicate this blog to my childhood friend, whom I lost on February 1, 2024 to a rare type of cancer. In the last 27 years of our friendship, she proved to be the best example of how a true friend should be. I will love and miss her forever.

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Diny Davis is an aspiring author who is passionate about fitness and a strong believer in the close connection between physical and mental health. She is a journalism, psychology and literature graduate, a loving wife and a caring mother who maintains a balance in her work and personal life while giving emphasis to self-care.

Grace Song (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

I find the balance between self-care and friendship quite challenging. Being a student in a professional program makes this even more difficult, as I struggle to find time for myself, but also for the friends, about whom I genuinely care. I strive to really get a grasp on maintaining a good balance between self-care and meaningful friendships, as it is crucial for one’s overall well-being. 

Friendships are one of my recurring topics of reflection; I recently reflected on a friendship that I had during the beginning of my professional program. A couple of years back, I became close friends with a girl; she and I had very similar mindsets and interests, which helped us click almost immediately. She was one of my closest and most consistent friends during that time. That is, until she was not . . . she and I had a falling out, because our true friendship goals did not align towards the end. We became less compassionate to each other, and I began to have less time for the self-care that I needed. After falling out with this good friend, I began to reflect on what I could do for myself and ongoing and future friendships so that I could maintain an appropriate balance. 

I realized that one of the most important factors to balance both self-care and friendship is establishing clear boundaries and communicating effectively with friends. It is necessary to openly discuss your needs, limitations and expectations with them—this is one aspect that I still find challenging, as it is difficult for me to open my heart up and let my guard down. This potential discussion would encompass expressing when you need your alone time, setting limits on social events, managing expectations and communicating any concerns/conflicts. Recognize that you cannot always be available or meet every demand placed on you in the friendship dynamic, but remember to communicate this to your friends so that they do not incorrectly assume. Set realistic expectations regarding the frequency of social activities, understanding that everyone has their own priorities and responsibilities. 

You time should be blocked off! Time management is not just a skill that you utilize at work; it is just as crucial in your daily life, as you balance self-care and friendship demands. What I have been doing that is helpful for me is creating a schedule that allocates dedicated time slots for self-care activities, such as dancing, reading, working out, relaxation, etc . . . over the span of a week so that I can work around those times to meet and catch up with friends without sacrificing me time. I believe that we all need to make sure that we prioritize tasks and commitments based on their importance, and allocate time for socializing with friends so that we do not compromise our own well-being. 

Quality over quantity also applies for friendships. Given my shyness and homebody nature, quality friendships trump superficial ones. It is important to focus on nurturing deep connections with a few close friends rather than spreading myself too thin and trying to maintain numerous superficial relationships—most of which will probably tire me out. Quality friendships provide mutual support, understanding and fulfillment. Be there for your friends during challenging times, offer words of empathy and encouragement, and provide a kind, listening ear and a shoulder to lean on. Likewise, seek support from your friends when needed. Reciprocity in friendship is built on trust and compassion for one another. 

It is totally okay to say no. Saying no is something that I continue to struggle with, but I do recognize that learning to say no is a crucial skill in any circumstance. It is perfectly acceptable and appropriate to decline social invitations that do not align with your priorities or your well-being. Practice assertiveness by expressing your needs in a respectful manner and standing firm in your decisions, even though FOMO is real and it may well disappoint others at times. 

One of my favourite ways to tackle both self-care and making time for my friends if I cannot say no is doing something we both enjoy at the comfort of our homes (i.e. streaming anime together). Engaging in activities that bring both of us happiness and joy helps strengthen our connections. Using technology to help facilitate these experiences also allow us to stay in touch without forgoing our relaxation time. The best of all worlds! 

The last point is making sure to reflect and adjust accordingly. Just as I continue to reflect consistently, I implore each and every one of you to reflect on your friendship dynamics, self-care practices and overall well-being. Keep what has been working well and think about areas of improvement. Have open conversations with friends and gauge their willingness for change, as adjustments should ideally be made on common ground. 

Maintaining self-care within the demands of friendship is an ongoing journey that requires consistent mindfulness, communication and self-awareness. If we all try to prioritize clear communication, boundary-setting, time management, embracing quality friendships and sometimes declining, this will help us cultivate a balanced life that nurtures our well-being and friendships. Finding the perfect harmony between self-care and friendship is a continuous process of learning, growing, reflecting and adapting, and one that I am still trying to navigate.

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Leave your thoughts for Grace in the comments below. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and YouTube to stay up-to-date with Low Entropy news!

Rowan Sanan (he/him/his), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

The older I get, the more I feel that I should be getting used to change. Still, even as a university student whose life is constantly changing, I never get used to it. Every change that comes about has been anxiety-inducing, but I have to accept that sometimes they can be enlightening. I’ve learned a lot about myself and what I value in my work and my friendships and relationships. 

Speaking of friendships, bonds that we make with people can constantly grow and change because we as people are constantly growing. Our views and perspectives begin to shift, as well as our interests and what we choose to focus on. Even though friendships are such beautiful relationships, they can change too. Just as we outgrow clothes with age, we also outgrow our surroundings. 

For example, a friendship can drift apart naturally as people make different friends as they get older and choose to follow different paths and interests. They can also drift if someone falls into the wrong crowd and the other chooses to distance themselves for any particular reason. There are a multitude of reasons for why a friendship can change, and often it has to do with age and our development as people—or lack thereof. 

My friendships have shifted too. Some of my friends barely talk, some have formed stronger bonds with each other or with other people and we’ve all begun making new friends through our new environments at work or school. These bonds diverge and lead us down different paths as we forge our lives. Friendships are so complex in this way. We share our values and interests with people and find such intricate commonalities, but who’s to say that we will still enjoy or have time for those interests as we grow older? 

I don’t know if it’s a bad thing to outgrow friendships. 

It’s inevitable for it to cause pain because of the immense connection and resulting nostalgia. That is how it felt for me, as though all the work that went into the relationship was for nothing. Our interests had just shifted so much over the years that there was no longer any common ground. However, as much as it felt like it, that didn’t mean that the connection was for nothing. My friends and I have been through some of the worst parts of our lives together, and nothing can take that away. These friendships are built on strong trust and care that has been there for years. 

Still, we have to respect each other as we change, shift and grow as people. As we navigate these shifts in connections, we need to communicate about how we feel about the situation. If the friendship isn’t favoring anyone, it isn’t worth the pain and stress the upkeep of the relationship will cause. People part ways from romantic relationships all the time due to changes in interests, and the strain that it causes on the relationship when they try to force themselves to be together is always present. Friendships can be treated similarly—if one party is unhappy, why should they cause themself immense agony trying to be someone they’re not? 

I think self-reflection is also an important part of that. When we consider our needs, values and boundaries, we understand better what we want in the people we surround ourselves with. We can approach the situation with calm, level heads and kind, honest communication with the people around us. 

It is an extremely difficult conversation to have, though. It is so painful for everyone involved to admit that there is a disconnect that needs to be addressed—sometimes it feels easier to just let the issue continue so you don’t have to address it. But that only worsens the issue for everybody involved, so the bravery to have that conversation is important. It is an essential part of ensuring the relationship can be amicably addressed and discussed. 

There is also always the hope that, while it is possible to outgrow a friendship, it is also possible that, just like an article of clothing, you can replace it with something just a couple of sizes up. That conversation is the first step towards achieving that. 

One of the great things about friendships is the fact that they are always changing. It can actually be beneficial sometimes that people are constantly shifting, because it opens the doors to so many new connections and ideas that can bring people back together. That discussion can help both sides feel more inclined to figure out new ways to connect and evolve together instead of apart. 

Of course, irreparable relationships are always possible. There is always a chance that I have to part ways with people I care about because it causes one or both of us more stress than joy to keep the friendship alive. But no matter what, we can always take something good away from the relationship. Over the years, we have developed as friends and individuals thanks to each other’s influence. Even though we no longer share the same interests and passions, we still share those experiences, and that is what matters most to me. The time we spent together is immensely important to me and shapes me as a person to this day, and I can’t imagine a life without the friends I have made along the way. 

Even as I change and either outgrow or grow with the people around me, I will always appreciate their influence in my life. 

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Rowan is a university student who loves to write books and poetry, read all kinds of books, and spend time with his family and pets.