Category: Kindness

Arsh Gill, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

After experiencing loss, hurt, defeat or an extreme number of hurdles, one might find themselves questioning why they should be nice at all. However, in a world that is full of these inevitable things, being kind-hearted, nice, supportive and encouraging is bound to make you stand out as a beacon of hope.

The power of kindness is immeasurable. When one is kind they light up any room they walk into, and they can be a saviour to others whom they didn’t even know needed saving. In taking this admirable approach, they can set an example for others and motivate them to be kind as well, in order to foster connectedness and togetherness in what seems to mostly be a divided world.

Being kind can get you further than you think in life. Being kind to others is the base of a strong foundation of conversation, friendships and relationships. It’ll help build trust, security, respect and deeper connections. Cultivating positive relationships in this way will help you understand yourself and others better, while enhancing your empathy and integrity. 

Moreover, you will also be able to problem-solve and resolve conflicts in a kind and peaceful manner, which will maintain and strengthen relationships. In a world that is plagued by cruelty and betrayal, you can be an example for individuals in promoting a better approach. With kindness at the centre of this approach, you can promote dialogue and be more understanding of the opposing opinions.

Lastly, I want to touch on how the most important type of kindness you can show is to yourself. Oftentimes I find myself being my harshest critic, regardless of the context. I blame myself for not feeling confident in my body, or doing poorly while at school or work. I am quick to tear myself apart and make myself feel guilty, yet it feels like climbing the highest mountain to find it in myself to be kind to myself. The best way you can become more confident is speaking to yourself in a confident, encouraging and kind manner. Go easy on yourself, look yourself in the mirror and be grateful for all you have accomplished, because you have gotten through challenges that may have seemed impossible at the time. If you need to, fake it till you make it! Say kind things to yourself and eventually you’ll truly start to appreciate and accept it. 

Overall, don’t make being kind a superficial act that you do just to impress others. Rather, realize and understand that being kind holds a great amount of power that can change your world and the world around you. Remember to treat people the way you want to be treated and set an example for those who admire and look up to you to follow and be inspired by. Being kind will benefit your personal growth and relationships, which will ultimately allow you to prosper and live your best life. 

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Glory Li (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer 

“Human beings are basically good, kind, and compassionate, but it takes hard digging to uncover that buried jewel.” —Charlotte Joko Beck

Imagine a scream suddenly ripping across the transiently calm, pitch-black sky as your eyes instantly flutter open in bewilderment and mild infuriation. Who would make such a disturbing sound at 2:30 in the morning? Another ear-piercing, guttural shriek eliminates your faintest urge to sleep as you sit upright in a swift movement. As you crouch beside the windowsill, the flimsy crevice of your window lets in an undeniably anguished exclamation, pleading, “Help, I need help!”

What will you do? Will you venture into the darkness in your pyjamas and scrutinize the proximate scrimmage with your eyes the size of globes? Probably not. It would feel like a much safer, more rational and conventional decision to stay in the apartment, pretending to know nothing.

And that’s exactly what happened to Catherine “Kitty” Genovese around 60 years ago. Even though it’s highly likely that the initial news report exaggerated the number of witnesses, there was ample evidence to illustrate people’s apathy when Genovese was murdered and robbed in the middle of a residential street with an alleged 38 neighbours hearing and seeing the distraught commotion without showing any intention to offer meaningful support.

The case of Genovese became the model of bystander apathy, which implied that humans were fundamentally selfish, pathetic and ignorant when it came to standing up against violence and other intimidating forces. Many hereditary and environmental reasons contribute to individuals deciding whether to remain inactive or not, and will differ depending on each incident. For instance, people have varying personalities that influence their inclination to help. A lack of confidence and the location and time that danger took place can also be factors. But the greatest environmental factor that inhibits people from taking action, independent of any other contextual variable, is pluralistic ignorance.

Pluralistic ignorance is a social phenomenon where no one speaks up about a prevailing opinion or situation, which leads to the assumption that others have reached a mutual, inaudible agreement to stay silent when, in actuality, the majority are just too afraid, confused or slow to take action. The sole reason for reducing or eliminating our reactions is our general impression of what others are doing, known as the rule of social proof. We copy others due to three primary reasons:

1. Uncertainty

Especially in emergencies, onlookers are bombarded with ambiguous social cues that convert an urgent, crucial juncture into a “normal” occurrence because there’s insufficient direct evidence to stimulate action. We naturally react to lower the uncertainty that wells up in our beings, even if it means comforting our minds with lies and misinterpretations. Whenever possible, to increase the chances of bystander intervention, the best strategy is to call clearly that assistance is needed, clarifying any subconscious misunderstandings that the bypassers might have. Thus, it’s not that we are unkind, but that we fear dubiety.

2. Imitation

We tend to follow perceived trends in a situation. If Genovese’s neighbours noticed that no other households were making a fuss about the uproar outside, they could convince themselves that the noise was a delusion or false alarm instead of a prompt to investigate. To prevent the spreading of more people not acting, the crucial step is to make one person act first, so others might imitate their action. Describe their attire or noteworthy features to instantly thrust the responsibility on one particular individual. This may consequently make other people feel obligated to help. It’s not that we are unkind, we just fear being different. 

3 Avoiding Negative Associations

We tend to ignore information that might bring us distress and misfortune, but somehow find ways to associate ourselves with good news. Helping someone being attacked, injured or abused can bring us into proximity of distress and misfortune. In countless cases, people who discovered bullying felt that reporting it would not do any good to either themselves or the victim, due to the fear of retaliation and exacerbating the victim’s suffering or maltreatment. They often felt they could not stop or prevent whatever happened from happening, and usually, the culprits had more social influence and wealth. It’s not that we are unkind, we just fear discomfort. 

When the external circumstance is unclear, with no one else behaving urgently and the issue involves danger and tension, we resort to pluralistic ignorance, where everyone collectively becomes blind to avoid feeling conscientious, self-condemned, or responsible for helping a victim. Philosophers long ago debated whether humans were more self-centered or instinctively concerned for others’ well-being. I believe our first instinct is selflessness, and that we are fully capable of acting to benefit others. But the more our intuitive responses are delayed by our doubts and anxieties, the less likely we will act. So, instead of believing that human nature is unkind from noxious cases of ignorance, under the optimal conditions and help-seeking strategy, we can be as helpful and kind as any emergency requires us to be.

References:

Goldberg, Nicholas. “The Legend of Kitty Genovese and Those Who Ignored Her Screams – Los Angeles Times.” Los Angeles Times, 29 July 2021, www.latimes.com/opinion/story/2020-09-10/urban-legend -kitty-genovese-38-people.

Street, Farnam. “The Murder of Kitty Genovese and the Bystander Effect.” Farnam Street, 15 Mar. 2017, fs.blog/video-the-bystander-effect-the-murder-of-kitty-genovese.

“38 Who Saw Murder Didn’t Call the Police; Apathy at Stabbing of Queens Woman Shocks Inspector.” The New York Times, 27 Mar. 1964, www.nytimes.com/1964/03/27/archives/37-who-saw-murder- didnt-call-the-police-apathy-at-stabbing-of.html.

“Pluralistic Ignorance (Definition + Examples).” Practical Psychology, 9 Nov. 2022, practicalpie.com/pluralistic-ignorance.

Gordon, Sherri. “Why Victims of Bullying Often Suffer in Silence.” Verywell Family, 6 Dec. 2021, www.very wellfamily.com/reasons-why-victims-of-bullying-do-not-tell-460784.

Roth, Emanuel. “Psychology of the Bystander and Tips for Increasing Chances of Receiving Help.” Fight Times Magazine, 24 Jan. 2008, magazine.fighttimes.com/psychology-of-the-bystander-and-tips-for-increasing -chances-of-receiving-help.

“Social Proof: Why We Look to Others for What We Should Think and Do.” Farnam Street, 10 Jan. 2023, fs.blog/mental-model-social-proof.

“What Is the Bandwagon Effect? Why People Follow the Crowd.” Investopedia, 30 June 2023, www.investopedia.com/terms/b/bandwagon-effect.asp#:~:text=The%20human%20brain%20uses%20% 22shortcuts,the%20correct%20decision%20to%20make.

Ward, Adrian F. “Scientists Probe Human Nature–and Discover We Are Good, After All.” Scientific American, 16 Aug. 2013, www.scientificamerican.com/article/scientists-probe-human-nature-and-discover- we-are- good- after-all.

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Ugochi Guchy Kalu (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer 

If everyone said to everyone else’s face what they really believed, there would be no end to our griefs; If all work environments empowered everyone to speak their truth without holding back, there would be anarchy in the workplace, as no one person can bear the weight of other people’s perspectives, no matter how hardened they are. 

Authenticity at the workplace challenges the traditional norms of politeness, aiming to create a more open, engaging and innovative work environment. The question that begs an answer remains: are organizations really accepting of the concept of authenticity? Can people frankly speak their minds without consequences? Can a firm “no” be judged as it is, or would it be considered insubordination?

In my many years working in corporate environments, the politeness rules vary as much as the management styles. I have been allowed to speak my mind, using my own words while allowing my emotions to unravel in one organization, while in another, I was given an employee handout. This handout contained words to use when communicating with co-workers: it was like a corporate vocabulary college where we learnt to speak corporate gibberish. Anyone who has worked in corporate would have encountered lingo such as, “let’s put a pin in it,” “let’s circle back,” “allow time to unpack,” “let us listen to Jane’s pain-points,” “this approach does not align with our values,” “as per my last email,” “our team’s bandwidth,” “let’s check in,” “performance review,” “growth plan,” etc . . . it is unending, the robotic way we were trained to speak and act to be considered polite and collaborative. In full consideration of how these phrases give most of us PTSD, one can appreciate how much sanity we might experience if allowed to speak the same language that we do when we go home to rant and complain about our real feelings to our family and friends.

A few years after working in a less censored organization, I joined another, where everyone was mandated to be kind with their words and actions, where people would think twice before responding to a simple “Good morning, how are you?” as no one wanted to be quoted. People used hundreds of smile emojis to convey the pleasantness of their micro-aggressive messages, and emails contained more than five exclamation marks to drive home a point. While this communication style prevented workplace hostility, it only solved the problems on the surface. It was not enough to help us navigate our profound and important disagreements.

My experience in these workplaces with varied values made me a well-rounded professional who could manage all kinds of social situations. I adopted the art of staying neutral when faced with the most difficult conversations, accepting “No” as a complete sentence and creating boundaries while respecting those of others. This balance meant that I was always myself: no masks, no fake smiles, no hurt emotions, no fragile ego. I am now more in touch with reality, with no unreasonable expectations, no feelings of entitlement and no unresolved grudges. I became someone who can identify and relate to all kinds of perspectives, and a person who stays away from condescending and patronizing people. Most importantly, this made me a person who sees work as work without any attachment to it or the people thereof. I now understand where the limits of it all lie. Indeed, while contrived politeness at the workplace can be seen as the enemy, the unwaveringly earnest loyalty of friends, family, upper management and work “besties” can be just as detrimental. That blind protective affection keeps people from telling the truth; this alone can destroy a person of high potential.

Leveraging my experiences, I would recommend an overhaul in organizational leadership values where authenticity and constructive candor is given credence. The leadership must provide opportunities for feedback without consequences on some key recurring items. These opportunities involve far more than sending out anonymous surveys, reviews and town halls. This culture of constructive candor need not be filled with rebuttals, onslaughts of ideas, protests or broadsides from hopeless cynics, as these can be just as counterproductive as silence. Leaders should initiate conversations with valued employees of all levels, difficult but needed conversations that lend themselves to solutions.

Let us be honest: this approach is harder than it looks. There is a reason it has not become standard operating procedure for most companies, even in supposedly liberal organizations. It takes incredible humility and strength on the part of leaders. But if building a culture of constructive candor is hard, failure that results from insufficient candor is so much harder.

In conclusion, while authenticity is crucial, it is essential to strike a balance with politeness to maintain a professional and respectful workplace. Authenticity should not be an excuse for rudeness or disregard for others’ feelings. Instead, organizations can focus on fostering a culture of constructive communication, where employees can express themselves authentically while remaining considerate of their colleagues. 

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My name is Ugochi Guchy Kalu. As a strong advocate of authenticity, I would encourage you to bring your genuine self to the table as this is by far the bravest journey of all time!

Cristina Crescenzo (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

Ever since I was a little girl, I have wanted to make everyone happy, even at cost to myself. The sad thing is that I thought I was being noble, but I was being unfair to the person whose happiness should have meant the most to me: myself. What’s even sadder is that nothing has changed. I still continue to treat others a million times better than I ever would myself; I have tried to formulate some possible reasons why, and all of them make me feel stupid and a little enraged that I don’t care enough about myself to change. My only solace is knowing that I am not alone in this feeling; the world is filled to the brim with people-pleasers and self-deprecators.

Where does our worth go to hide? I don’t even remember the day I started putting others’ feelings before my own, yet I know it happened, and it’s been hard to stop. I was only given one life, but I have spent a quarter of it trying to justify my existence by giving all my energy to others, which is very rarely ever reciprocated. Treating people with kindness and respect, even amid your own turmoil, is a powerful strength, but now I know I should have put some of that positive energy and love towards myself. I must also stop thinking I must rightfully earn my place on Earth; I am here because I was meant to be here.

Furthermore, I have always thought that doing extraordinary things in your lifetime makes you special. I have so little confidence in myself and my own dreams that I have shortened my horizon and aimed for the tiny victories, such as being there constantly for “friends” who use me as some kind of therapist and then abandon me once their regular life gets back in order. Listening to and empathizing with your friends is a good thing, but it can’t just be a one-way street. So, not only do I carry the weight of my own problems on my shoulders, but I also carry everyone else’s. It’s gotten so bad that I have become way too emotionally invested in the lives of people who are more or less acquaintances; there has to be a healthy balance between caring too much and not at all. Therefore, the first step is to step back and focus on my needs and wants for a while. That could be my New Year’s resolution for 2024. It may also help me figure out who is in my life for the long haul and not just to be their emotional baggage dumpster or stand-in friend until the old ones return.

I owe it to the little girl I was and to the woman I am now to treat myself more fairly; this world already comes with a lot of punches, and I don’t need to be inflicting myself with any more. I know in my heart that I am a kind person and that I do genuinely care about people, but that doesn’t mean I should so readily hand over my happiness and time to every person I come across just for a small fraction of the validation I should be giving to myself. It’s true not everyone will deserve it or, at the very least, appreciate it, but from now on, I want to make sure that my actions come from an entirely pure place with no ulterior motive. I should also be more selective to whom I give my energy, but most of all, I want to treat myself the way I have always wanted others to because so many things in this life are fleeting and uncertain, but the person I am inside will be with me till the end of the line.

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My name is Cristina Crescenzo and there are many days when I have no idea what I am doing, but writing for this blog makes me happy as I try to figure things out.

Jessica Szczepaniak Gillece (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

Gentle people often seem alien in this world. They are often extremely empathetic, taking on the burdens of others and identifying with human suffering. I am one of those gentle people and am used to being read as unusual. I have had former friends stare when I cried at a movie, been teased about my sensitivity and found that the world can be an exceedingly difficult place to navigate when emotions are so tender. Everything seems harsh. It can be hard to separate your own situation from the vast number of complex situations that confront us every day.

So how can gentle people survive in the world? It may not always be easy, but there are a few simple ways to make it easier. The most useful are setting good personal boundaries, knowing one’s limits and self-care. 

Setting personal boundaries is a skill that requires a great deal of self-knowledge. Before creating boundaries, sit down and think about what you want. How can you react to a demanding situation in a personally protective way? Gentle people often take on other people’s burdens and can overextend themselves helping in situations that may require professional assistance. This can lead to burnout or compassion fatigue, which can take the burned-out person out of commission to help with anything else. This leaves the person frustrated and suffering.

Boundaries help prevent this. While gentle people often have very permeable boundaries, it helps to set some firm ones. Before offering help or services, including listening to or helping others, it helps to think about what a realistic boundary would be. For example, if a friend needs to talk, it helps to think about the following: Is it possible to hold space right now? What is your own strength right now and do you really have the capacity to do so? If the answer is no, don’t do it. For example, one can say that they are overwhelmed right now, but would be willing to hold space later.

It may be hard to say no. Gentle people often do not want others to be in pain and tend to want to take it on their shoulders, sharing the burden. It’s a beautiful thing to help someone, it just shouldn’t be done at an individual’s expense. Practice saying no when you need to. It validates your needs as much as someone else’s. Most importantly, say no so you’ll be able to say yes later.

Gentle people should also be aware of their limitations. Looking at emotional, mental and physical limitations is especially important for gentle, empathetic people. Before you start something, be aware of what you can do. Is there a physical limitation? Is your mental load too heavy right now? Learn the edge of your limits so you can offer empathy and help without collapsing.

Self-care is one of the most important tools in a gentle person’s toolbox. While social media wants to paint self-care as perfectly curated baths with expensive candles or expensive vacations, the real situation is much different. Gentle people especially need self-care when dealing with a world that is complicated and not necessarily constructed with their needs in mind. Self-care in this case is anything that helps someone nurture and tend to their own self, much like they would tend to another person. Self-care actions vary widely with everyone. A good indicator for self-care is to determine if it makes you feel good and helps with your mental, emotional and physical health. It does not need to just include baths, but can include long walks, time in pajamas with a good book, listening to a favourite podcast or anything that nourishes you deeply. A good self-care practice can help gentle people recover from the difficulties they face and encourage them to face forward with strength.

While the world may seem harsh to gentle people, there are ways for gentle people to survive and thrive. Gentleness is not a negative trait, but a positive force for the world. Meeting a hard world with tenderness not only helps individuals, but helps build a world where gentleness is valued and cherished, one step at a time.

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Lauren Long (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Blog Writer 

In Disney’s 2015 live-action Cinderella, the titular character’s mother imparts this piece of advice to Cinderella before she dies: “Have courage, and be kind. Where there is kindness, there is goodness, and where there’s goodness there’s magic.”

Those words have lived in my mind since then, and every time I begin to falter or lose my faith in humanity, I remind myself of them. But what do you do when kindness stops working? 

What do you do when, no matter how hard you try, you’re met with judgment and criticism until it presses on you like a heavy weight? I talked to a friend about this article and she pointed out three common moments when kindness stops working: 

1. When your kindness goes unappreciated and it starts to affect your wellbeing. 
2. If your kindness is making you suffer, then is it worth it?
3. When an empath and a narcissist meet. 

The more I thought about it, I realized I’ve experienced all three of these scenarios at some point in my life, sometimes multiple times. 

I’m not going to lie, it’s hard to be kind when others are not. If you’re like me and have a genuine personality, most people appreciate it, but there are always those who will take advantage of and exploit your compassion. These people can be random strangers, coworkers, friends, and even family. It always hurts when someone takes you for granted. 

For example, let’s say you’ve pet-sat for someone before, and after a while they stop asking and just start dropping their pet off without checking first. Or they tell someone that you’ll pet-sit for them while you’re standing right there and don’t even consider that you might have plans and don’t appreciate them deciding things for you. This falls under your kindness going unappreciated and affecting your wellbeing. It starts to affect your wellbeing because you feel like screaming that you’re not a free-of-charge pet-sitting service for people to use at their convenience, but when you’ve been told you’re kind all your life because you’ve never gotten angry, it’s difficult to shake that mentality. So your kindness leads you to suffer in silence and affects your mental and emotional wellbeing.  

We’ve all heard the saying “Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.” It’s a phrase derived from William Shakespeare’s writing in Hamlet, and it refers to the act of hurting someone for their own benefit. Sometimes, we have to cause ourselves pain for our own good, which brings me to my second point: if your kindness is making you suffer, then is it worth it? If we always put up with others’ entitlement and reward it with any kind of attention, we create a toxic pattern. 

Choosing to be submissive and not respond affects you mentally and emotionally, but if you react and stand up for yourself, you risk losing people in your life. There’s a price to pay either way.  

I’ve learned its better to speak up and call people out instead of always hiding my true feelings to protect others, which was a hard habit to break. I was a people-pleaser for a long time, and I would bend over backwards for others, only to be hurt in the process. There was more than one occasion where I felt whatever I did was never good enough. 

That being said, my answer to the second question is no, your kindness isn’t worth it if it’s making your self-worth deteriorate.  

Finally, what happens when an empath and a narcissist meet? An empath is defined as someone who feels more empathy than an ordinary human, and are uniquely perceptive to the feelings of those around them. 

A narcissist is the polar opposite of an empath. The definition of a narcissist is “An extremely self-centered person with an exaggerated sense of self-importance.” 

Narcissists take pleasure in being emotionally manipulative, and empaths, with their high levels of understanding, compassion and sympathy for others, make easy prey for their narcissistic counterparts. An example of an empath and a narcissist that comes to mind is Season 5, episode 12 of Pretty Little Liars. When Aria says she never understood why Alison chose her, Mona says “When you don’t feel anything, it must be really fun to mess with somebody who feels a lot. Alison picked you because you care, and she can’t.” 

Well, if there was a textbook definition for what happens when a narcissist and empath meet, this scene would be it. 

When kindness stops working, it’s because the people involved were never worthy of your kindness to begin with. There comes a point in your life when you realize that, no matter how kind you are to some people, it won’t change them, but it will change you. If you have people in your life who take your kindness for granted, set clear boundaries. If they take issue with that, cut your losses and move on. Life is too short to waste your kindness on people who don’t deserve it.

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Lauren Long hails from Quesnel, BC, where she was born and raised. She is a strong advocate for mental health and overall wellbeing, and is a firm believer that setting boundaries plays a role in taking back your power and your life. When she’s not writing, you can find her on the pole, the training mats or curled up with a good book.

Fátima Lima (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer


My professional journey began in the vibrant city of São Paulo, Brazil, where I landed my first job as a phone operator at a major newspaper. Little did I know that this would mark the beginning of a long and rewarding career in customer service. Soon after, I found myself in the engaging world of aviation, serving as a reservation agent for the legendary Pan American World Airways, a name synonymous with the golden age of travel. Many may recall Pan Am, perhaps through the lens of the iconic Leonardo DiCaprio movie, Catch Me If You Can. 


Securing that job felt like entering a dream. The charm of it all, not to mention the perk of complimentary travel — I mean, who wouldn’t use the opportunity to catch a flight whenever a seat is available? I could casually head to New York or Miami for a weekend escape! However, let me be sincere: despite the apparent opulence, there’s more complexity beneath the surface. Undoubtedly, the thrill of jetting off to diverse destinations is exhilarating, but the sobering reality sets in sooner or later. Managing a handful of customers who are far from easy to please serves as a reminder of the real draining challenges.


Suddenly, after a while, it wasn’t just about me and my job; there were bills to pay and a family to raise. I did try my hand at changing fields at one point, but you know how it goes – sometimes, you find yourself in a pace, and it’s not that easy to switch lanes. So, there I was, navigating the world of business travel for many years. Now, let me tell you about the delicate dance between exhaustion and kindness that became my everyday routine. It’s a bit like trying to balance on a seesaw, you know? Juggling the demands of work while keeping that warm, friendly touch can be quite a challenge. 

I ended up in a very tight spot. I was responsible for managing a unique business travel account that no other coworker was willing to handle – they said the clients were extremely demanding. While this was indeed the case, I consider myself patient and empathetic. After some time, I learned how to navigate their requests and interact with them effectively. Well, once I received a very strange request. A client called and said, “I need you to book a hotel in Los Angeles, but the toilet bowl has to be white!” 

That turned into a bit of an office joke for a while. I mean, who cares about the toilet bowl’s colour, right? Anyway, I took a deep breath and started calling hotels. This was a time when the internet wasn’t as user-friendly, and travel agents had to juggle multiple tasks. Picture the challenge, especially in a city known for its art deco style, where washrooms flaunt a variety of vibrant colours. After some effort, the reservation was successfully wrapped up, and all the travel details fell into place. Throughout the process, I couldn’t help but wonder whether or not this person must have a reason for this request.


After a few weeks, my company scheduled a meeting involving the client, myself, and my director. Initially, I thought, “Well, it’s done; I’ve lost my job!” However, it turned out that the client wanted to express gratitude because it was the first time her specific request had been attended to. She was battling a very unusual type of cancer and taking very strong medications. If her urine changed colour, she needed to rush to an emergency room. At that point, the client chose not to disclose this situation to the company she worked for, and her previous requests had gone unnoticed by others who failed to recognize the urgency tied to her unique health condition. 


Whenever I reflect on how my years in this field have been far from easy, they have been incredibly fulfilling. Working in this industry has allowed me to connect with people from all walks of life, navigating the intricacies of their needs and desires. Whether it’s assisting a client in planning their dream journey or addressing concerns with the utmost professionalism, every interaction is an opportunity to make a positive impact. I will never forget this specific client’s struggle, and no matter how challenging the situation is, the results of a simple act of kindness surpass all the burdens of a workload. Customer service is not just a job; it’s an art of understanding, empathy and, above all, making a difference in the lives of those we serve. So, the next time you encounter a dedicated service professional, remember the depth of commitment and the potential for positive influence that lies behind the scenes of their seemingly ordinary day.

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My name is Fátima Lima, and writing is my therapy. I believe art makes us better people, providing many ways to reflect on today’s world, the past and the future. I live in New Brunswick, Canada, and my day-to-day job is in a multicultural settlement agency. The best thing about collaborating with Low Entropy is the freedom to write subjects I love, the way I can write.

Heidi Collie (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Blog Writer

Nice to meet you, how are you?

A few weeks ago I was chatting to two of my sisters and the conversation naturally turned to first impressions and styles of physical greeting. Even though most of us encounter this situation very regularly, I suspect you’ll never really pay attention to it until you’re caught between a rock (handshake) and a hard place (hug) and end up taking a step forward and waving. Try to think of something more mortifying because I promise it does not exist.

In that particular conversation, the consensus of three twentysomething British women was as follows: broadly speaking, if the person is approximately our own age, it’s a hug. If the person is female-presenting and not our age, it’s probably a hug (preferably initiated by them). If the person is not female-presenting and not our age, it’s a handshake. That is, unless any of this occurs in a formal environment, then it’s a handshake. We acknowledged (with admiration) how the Duchess of Cambridge attends functions with both hands clasped around a clutch bag at her front, preventing others from attempting a hug and leaving her in control of handshake initiation if she decides one is appropriate. 

In order to fully understand the cultural significance of physical greetings, we should look to anthropological research. An article published by National Geographic last year draws from two perspectives: historical — that extending an empty hand to shake or wave demonstrates the absence of a concealed weapon — and biological — that touch is known to de-stress the body through the release of oxytocin. In his recent publication, Touch: The Science of the Sense That Makes Us Human, neuroscientist David J. Linden emphasizes the significance of touch as the first sense to become functional in utero and addresses how its centrality is increasingly appreciated in modern research.

In Friends: Understanding the Power of Our Most Important Relationships, anthropologist Robin Dunbar writes about the benefits of physical touch in the facilitation of long-standing social bonds. Modern humans tend to use methods of “virtual” grooming for group bonding (storytelling, ritual etc . . .) rather than frequent physical touch, but remnants of our evolutionary history endure. Ancient human behavior is believed to be mirrored by many contemporary non-human primates and Dunbar draws parallels with gelada baboons in the Ethiopian highlands, who spend up to 20% of their waking hours in physical contact, tending to the skin and fur of others. The effect is strong social bonds. Like physical touch, greetings often also involve a smile. According to Dunbar’s research, while human laughter derives from the monkey “play face,” smiling — such as that which you might force for a family photograph — comes from the monkey “submission face.” Perhaps baring your teeth to show you mean no harm is not so different from extending a hand to show you have no concealed weapon. Either way, it’s reassuring to know that our awkward styles of physical greeting are in fact crafted by the careful hands of evolution to serve the purpose of social bonding. It’s true that you never get a second chance to make a first impression, but with 200 million years of practice, maybe that’s ok.

The beauty of human psychology is in its complexity. It is not only the wave/handshake/hug decision that we must navigate, but the handshake-fistbump-backslap hybrid and the special pandemic elbow bump, and I can only assume that at some point women reach an age where they can’t help but kiss you on both cheeks. Anthropologically speaking, greetings are important for social bonding, but how, in a post-COVID world, can we get it 100% right 100% of the time? My answer is that we simply cannot. If greetings exist to facilitate bonding, there is nothing more bonding than laughing off an awkward interaction. Look out for boundaries that people might put up, but other than that, just try your best.

Put on that monkey submission face, make that judgment call. And to sum up — if you weren’t already overthinking it, you definitely are now.

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Leave your thoughts for Heidi in the comments below. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and YouTube to stay up-to-date with Low Entropy news!

Mariana Reis (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

Most people in my circles know me as a holistic nutritionist, but my professional journey has some extra layers — I’m also a marketer. For a good six years, I rolled up my sleeves as a customer support coach at a major tech hub in Vancouver, BC.

Being in customer support taught me a lot, especially the constant need to radiate positivity and politeness. Now, don’t get me wrong — I genuinely love assisting people and solving problems, but maintaining that upbeat demeanor through thick and thin was a true test for the soul.

We often forget the emotional toll that service professionals endure with every new interaction or when helping a different customer. The next person in line has no clue about the challenges of the prior conversation, and customers aren’t responsible for the personal hurdles support agents might be facing. Behind the screens are real people, with feelings and moments of exhaustion, hoping for a bit of understanding.

Most days, I connected well with the people I assisted, but there were instances that left me pondering, contemplating a brief escape to regroup and maybe shedding a quiet tear. After those challenging moments, I’d take a moment to reset, hit the mental refresh button and plunge back in. Because that’s the nature of the role.

Having walked in the shoes of customer service, I strive to offer extra warmth and understanding to my colleagues in the field. It’s a demanding task — dishing out joy, empathy and care without expecting a parade in return is no small feat.

I’m putting in a friendly plea. Let’s be extra kind to the amazing people spending their days supporting others. A little forgiveness goes a long way because, let’s face it, they’re only human too. Instead of firing back or hitting up the manager hotline, why not share a bit of kindness and love? Let them know we get how tough it must be to hold the emotional fort all the time.

One of the sweetest things about my job as a customer support coach, which still rings true in my new career as a nutritionist, is cruising alongside my clients on their journeys, knowing I had a hand in their successes. Knowing I played a part in their wins? That’s a heartwarming joy that never gets old. Careers might shift, but the warmth of making someone’s day? That’s my kind of magic.

So here’s to believing that being there for others is like wrapping them in a cozy blanket of good vibes. I’m all in, spreading warmth to the folks I serve and those out there doing the serving. Here’s to a year filled with heartwarming vibes all around.

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My name is Mariana and I am a holistic nutritionist. I love helping other immigrant mothers by cooking nutritious meals to support their postpartum recovery. As I walk the path of self-discovery and inner reconnection, my hope is to continue forging meaningful connections and seeking opportunities to support and uplift others.

Cassandra Di Lalla (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

What do I do to take the edges off a bad mood? Well, the fact of the matter is that we all have good days and bad days, so the trick is to find a happy medium — find your zen, ground yourself and learn to balance. But Cassandra, it’s so much easier said than done. Yes, yes it is. It won’t be easy, but if you’re challenging yourself, then you’re stimulating your mind and in doing so, you’ll be hyper-focused on the stimulation rather than the negativity, the not-so-happy vibes or the challenge as a whole.

You need to exercise your mind and trick your brain into thinking that all is well. Once you’ve mastered that, things will seem much simpler or easier to manage. But that’s a long process, as are many other things in life. There’s never an easy way out . . . or is there? We’re the rulers of our minds, the protectors of our hearts and the physiologists of our bodies. We know what we’re thinking and we know what we’re feeling, but we’re also the best people to understand our own physiological reactions to negative or unpleasant situations. 

Luckily, our brains can retain a whole lot of information, not only the bad but also the good along with many other things. It’s almost like we are made half-robot and half-human — in some aspects, we’re programmed to do things very systematically or methodically, and in the other halves of our beings, we are given total free will to do whatever we please, however we please. It’s only normal that we experience all kinds of emotions at any given time, regardless of the situation.

You know the saying “Eat, pray, love?” Well, I enjoy good, wholesome foods. I pray. I meditate. I drink tea. I do crafts. I write. I spend time with my cat and dogs, and I volunteer on a farm with alpacas, llamas and horses. These are just a few things I like to do with the love that I have to offer. 

When you hit a rough patch during your workday or routine things like grocery shopping, give yourself a moment to assess the situation. Do you know what triggered the negative energy? Is it in your control or within your reach to eliminate those negative ions floating around? Was it caused by a sudden emotion that flew in, or was it brought on by something that someone said or did?

Sometimes, when you take a step back to have a moment of clarity, or when redirecting your energy into something else and allowing yourself to focus on that new idea — you realize that you have more control than you thought. By using this strategy, you’re putting a much higher priority on finding the good and wanting to feel content, rather than remaining fixated on feeling triggered and like you can’t get out of that bad mood or, more importantly, that mindset. The mind is a very powerful thing and our thoughts can be extremely intrusive; it’s not uncommon for our minds to play tricks on us, and for our thoughts to play along. 

When a person is not in a very good mood, it’s common for them to not want to do anything until they feel better. I personally need to allow myself to feel what I feel because time seems to be my very best friend in that moment. We need to take the time to breathe and relax in order to prevent our bubbles of frustration from bursting.

I love self-reflection because it allows you to develop inner calm, or strengthen the bond that you have with your inner self. It allows you to regenerate from those awful feelings that you had, and turn them into kinder and more pleasant feelings. Self-reflection is like the iridescent shimmer you need to lift you up, and the sparkle in the sun that gives you your radiant smile. Some days, you may even want to stop what you’re doing to get those five or 10 minutes outside to breathe in the fresh air and fill your lungs with laughter instead of filling your day with anger.

Always try to look at your glass half-full instead of half-empty. This ideology is a lot more meaningful than you might think, but also less complicated than it seems.

So, going forward, your mantra each and every day should be that of positivity — a ritual comprised of vitamins, nutrients and everything good that life has to offer. Remember, balance is your buddy. 

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Cassandra Di Lalla lives life purposefully. She enjoys reading, writing and mental health initiatives. She’s an animal lover for life and an innovative individual always finding new ways to create.

Grace Cheng (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

The actions of a nice person can provide us with many valuable lessons that can be applied to our own lives. Nice people possess a great deal of wisdom and insight, whether it is through their actions, their words or simply by the way they conduct themselves. Interacting with an individual who is kind can have a profound effect on our personal development, relationships and overall well-being. The following are some lessons we can learn from nice individuals:

1. Kindness and Compassion

A nice person is often willing to lend a helping hand and has empathy for others. These individuals remind us to be kind and compassionate to others, regardless of their background or circumstances. In observing a nice person, we can learn how to treat others kindly and strive to make a positive impact on those around us.

1. Patience and Tolerance

A nice individual often possesses a high level of patience and tolerance. Their understanding of everyone’s struggles and shortcomings enables them to approach interactions with understanding and acceptance. Through observation of their behavior, we can develop more patience with others, a capacity for listening attentively and an acceptance of diversity.

1. Humility

Generally, nice people are modest and humble. Their actions are not motivated by gaining attention or praise, but rather by creating a positive impact on the lives of others. We can learn from their humility how to be more grounded, appreciate our strengths and show respect for others.

1. Positive Outlook on Life

Nice people tend to maintain a positive outlook, despite challenging circumstances. They strive to find the positive in people and situations, spreading optimism and positivity wherever they go. By adopting their positive mindset, we can build resilience, maintain a positive attitude and find joy in our daily lives.

1. Gratitude

It is common for nice individuals to have a profound appreciation for the blessings in their lives, whether they are large or small. It is natural for them to express gratitude freely and to acknowledge the goodness around them. We can cultivate a greater sense of contentment, enhance our overall well-being and strengthen our relationships when we adopt an attitude of gratitude.

1. Generosity

There is no doubt that nice people are often generous with their time, resources, and assistance. They are likely to offer a helping hand to those in need without any expectation of compensation. We can be inspired by their acts of generosity to be more generous and selfless in our own lives.

1. Selflessness

Nice individuals prioritize the needs of others and often place their own needs second. Selflessness is evident in their actions. They are always willing to lend a helping hand or offer assistance. It is through learning from the selflessness of others that we can become more considerate, supportive and compassionate individuals.

1. Establishing Strong Relationships

The ability to build strong, meaningful relationships is one of the strengths of nice individuals. They spend a considerable amount of time and energy nurturing relationships, fostering trust and creating a sense of belonging with others. We can learn from their relationship-building skills and cultivate supportive relationships by learning from them.

1. Forgiveness

There is a tendency for nice individuals to be forgiving and understanding. It is apparent to them that holding grudges only weighs them down, and they decide to let go of old hurts. By observing their ability to forgive, we will be able to release negativity and cultivate healthier relationships.

1. Effective Communication

The ability to communicate effectively and respectfully is a hallmark of nice people. They often pay close attention to what they hear, express themselves clearly, and choose their words carefully. Through the observation of their communication skills, we can improve our own capability to connect with others, resolve conflicts peacefully and build stronger relationships.

Interacting with nice people can provide us with valuable life lessons. Let us draw inspiration from these inspiring individuals and strive to emulate their qualities, spreading love and kindness wherever we go. After all, the world could use a little more niceness.

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Grace has an accounting and finance background. She enjoys reading, writing, listening to music, watching movies and playing sports.

Tusharika Nagar (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

Have you ever wondered how some people seem to navigate life’s ups and downs with grace and resilience? The secret may lie not just in what they do, but in how they talk to themselves. Welcome to the world of self-compassion, a powerful, yet often overlooked tool in your personal development arsenal. It’s not about self-indulgence or ignoring your flaws; it’s about recognizing that being kind to yourself is a cornerstone of strength and success. In this journey, we’ll explore how cultivating self-compassion can transform how you view yourself and achieve in every aspect of your life. Let’s debunk myths, discover strategies and unlock the transformative power of treating yourself with the same kindness you offer to others.

UNDERSTANDING SELF-COMPASSION

At its core, self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness, concern and support you’d offer a good friend. Developed by Dr. Kristin Neff, this concept breaks down into three vital components: self-kindness, common humanity and mindfulness. Self-kindness means being gentle with yourself rather than harshly critical. Common humanity connects your experiences to the broader human experience, reminding you that you’re not alone in your struggles. Mindfulness allows you to be present with your feelings without over-identifying with them. Contrary to common misconceptions, self-compassion is not about self-pity or weakness; it’s about acknowledging your humanity and your potential. By embracing these elements, you begin to see that self-compassion is not just feel-good navel-gazing; it’s a practical approach to nurturing your mental, emotional and even professional well-being.

THE ROLE OF SELF-COMPASSION IN PERSONAL TRANSFORMATION

Imagine self-compassion as a catalyst in the chemistry of your personal growth. A remarkable shift happens when you start treating yourself with kindness and understanding. You move from being your own harshest critic to your most supportive ally. This shift is crucial in how you face life’s challenges and setbacks. It’s not about avoiding or sugarcoating difficulties; it’s about approaching them with a forgiving and constructive mindset, rather than a punitive one. This transformation in your inner dialogue fosters resilience, enabling you to bounce back more effectively from failures and pursue your goals with renewed vigor. Moreover, self-compassion opens the door to greater emotional intelligence and empathy, enriching your relationships with others. 

SELF-COMPASSION TECHNIQUES FOR DAILY PRACTICE

Integrating self-compassion into your daily life doesn’t have to be an overwhelming task. Here are some simple, yet effective practices to help you cultivate this vital skill:

• Mindfulness Meditation: Start with just a few minutes a day. Focus on your breath and observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment. This practice helps you become more aware of your inner dialogue, allowing you to steer it towards kindness.
• Positive Self-Talk: Pay attention to how you talk to yourself, especially during challenging times. Replace critical or negative thoughts with compassionate and affirming ones. Remember, the words you use with yourself matter.
• Gratitude Journaling: Write down three things you appreciate about yourself each day. This practice shifts your focus from what you think you lack to the abundance of qualities you possess.
• Self-Care Rituals: Whether it’s a relaxing bath, a leisurely walk or reading a book, find activities that nourish your body and soul. Self-care is a testament to self-respect and compassion.
• Forgiveness Exercises: Learn to forgive yourself for past mistakes. Holding onto self-blame hinders growth; releasing it paves the way for learning and moving forward.

SUCCESS STORIES: SELF-COMPASSION IN ACTION

Let’s explore some success stories to bring the power of self-compassion to life. These are not just tales of triumph, but also transformation through the lens of self-compassion.

• The Executive Who Learned to Embrace Failure: Meet Alex, a high-powered executive who struggled with perfectionism. After embracing self-compassion, Alex learned to see failures as stepping stones rather than setbacks. This shift reduced stress and sparked innovation and creativity in their team.
• The Artist Who Found Her Voice: Maria, an artist, often battled with self-doubt. Through practicing self-compassion, she learned to quiet her inner critic and trust her creative instincts. This newfound confidence led to a breakthrough exhibition and critical acclaim.
• The Student Who Overcame Anxiety: Robert, a college student, faced overwhelming anxiety about his future. By adopting self-compassion techniques, he began approaching his fears with understanding and patience, leading to improved academic performance and a more balanced life.

HOW TO OVERCOME THE BARRIERS TO SELF-KINDNESS?

While the journey to self-compassion can be transformative, it’s not without its challenges. Here are some common barriers and how you can overcome them:

• The Misconception of Self-Indulgence: Many fear that self-compassion is a form of self-pity or laziness. However, it’s about acknowledging your struggles without judgment and motivating yourself to overcome them. Recognize that self-compassion is a form of self-respect, not self-indulgence.
• The Habit of Self-Criticism: Breaking the habit of self-criticism requires conscious effort. Start by noticing when you’re being self-critical and actively replace those thoughts with kinder, more constructive ones. This shift doesn’t happen overnight, but it becomes more natural with practice.
• Fear of Vulnerability: Embracing self-compassion means being vulnerable with yourself, which can be daunting. Remember that vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness. It’s about being honest with yourself and acknowledging your needs and limitations.
• Cultural and Societal Influences: Sometimes, societal norms discourage expressing self-compassion, equating it with weakness. Challenge these norms by reminding yourself that self-compassion is a source of inner strength and resilience.

EMBRACE SELF-KINDNESS FOR LASTING SUCCESS

In exploring the transformative power of self-compassion, we find it’s not just a feel-good concept, but a catalyst for real achievement. Understanding and practicing self-compassion paves the way to a resilient, fulfilling life. Remember, this journey is continuous and deeply personal. Start with small steps, be patient and recognize your growth. Let self-kindness be the foundation of your success. As you transform your life with compassion, you contribute to a kinder, more empathetic world. Begin today, and watch how this powerful change unfolds within and around you.

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Tusharika is a seasoned writer with a profound passion for mental and emotional wellness. She advocates for a society where achievements and good mental health go hand in hand. With a bachelor’s in architecture followed by top MBA honors and styling expertise from NYC’s Fashion Institute of Technology, Tusharika finds solace in the mystique of Tarot cards and the healing power of spirituality. She crafts poetry or watches period dramas from her four-poster in her free time.