Unseen Inequalities and Unspoken Bullying

Najmuddin Hossaini (he/him/his), Low Entropy Volunteer writer

Dealing with the concept of relationships is an examination of a phenomenon that is complex and multifaceted. Relationships are somehow a predetermined value in a human community that holds countless ups and downs. Analyzing the historical and social apparition of relationships makes it clear that they have been vital to forming love, friendships, hatred, terrible mistakes, big misunderstandings, basal narratives and withheld stories. Therefore, probing each dimension of our associations requires patience, a lot of time and comprehensive research. However, in this brief article, we are going to take a look at inequalities in relationships. 

What is equality in a relationship? 

Equality in a relationship means that your partner has as much influence and importance as you. The central core of equality is the amount of respect that both sides show each other. Equality is an ideal state that should be established between two parties, or at least they should make an honest effort to demonstrate it.

What is inequality in a relationship? 

Inequality in a relationship means that the power and influence of the parties are out of balance. One of the sides becomes more dominant than the other, which can make the less dominant individual feel ignored, disrespected, unvalued or resentful. This situation may happen gradually, suddenly, intentionally or unintentionally; however, in the end, it will produce an unpleasant outcome. 

Some concrete examples of inequality in relationships

The symptoms of exercising authority in a relationship can seem innocuous, from the way two people decorate their room, extending to all matters of shared life. By looking at the items in the bedroom of two people who are in a relationship, for instance, we might find the person who has more power allocating more facilities of the room for themself, arranging their personal belongings in their preferred places and decorating the room according to their taste. This way of applying power might be so subtle that neither party is aware of the mechanism.

In addition, the way people express common issues, conflict, resolutions and love may be completely different between people with power imbalances in their relationship. In the way they raise their child, look for work, entertain themselves, travel and socialize, the party who enjoys a superior position will likely assert more of their opinions and taste. These actions of influence can continue until they turn from seemingly normal interactions into open bullying.

What are influencing factors?

Many elements bring inequality in a relationship. These factors include, but are not limited to, social status, family dissimilarities, differences in education, economic factors, religious beliefs and psychological issues. Exploring and examining such influences would require a detailed discussion, which is out of the scope of this brief piece.

What do we get?

Although many relationships have a very beautiful appearance and seem wonderful from the outside, many individuals are in unequal situations. Bullying, oppression and coercion have cast a heavy shadow on many relationships. That is why the phrase “toxic relationship” has seen wide usage in today’s discourse. When it comes to relationship norms, questioning, critical examination, self-evaluation, humility, tolerance and morality may be the way forward.

[Bio]Najmuddin Hossaini holds a master’s in philosophy from Savitribai Phule Pune University, and a bachelor’s in journalism and political public relations from Herat University. He has published articles on human rights, women’s rights, peace talks, Taliban extremism, violence, environmental issues, recognition and creativity.