Category: Self Love

The Scars We Bear

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Jihu Lee (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

The perfect condition doesn’t exist. Or does it? As humans, we seem to have a perpetual desire to fix things back to normalcy or perfection. If we’re sick, we nurse ourselves back to health. If we break an object, we try to mend it. Even at an intangible emotional level, we strive for happiness as the benchmark of our feelings, while turning away from those we label as “bad.” 

 

I want to frame this article around Abigail Johnson’s If I Fix You. This fictional young-adult book is centered on the protagonist Jill and her passion for automotive mechanics and fixing cars. Jill and her father have a loving bond while she and her mother have a dysfunctional relationship. Throughout the book, we also explore Jill’s connection with her new neighbor Daniel, who harbors a history with an abusive father and a broken relationship with his own mother. 

 

Jill’s love for fixing cars that arrive at her dad’s auto shop serves as a brilliant metaphor that fits the story’s theme of recovering “broken” lives and relationships. We often see Jill think in terms of fixing something or someone to normal, as she does with defective cars. She first meets Daniel after overhearing an intense altercation between him and his mother next door. Shortly after, he leaves in his Jeep and Jill picks up on the grinding noise from his brakes, leading her to decide that “he needed new brake pads … probably not the most important problem in his life, but it was the one I could fix.” Right away, we see Jill’s knack for “fixing the broken” kick in, so she resorts to mending something within her control when the person himself is out of reach. But when they begin spending time together more frequently, Jill starts feeling more inclined to let Daniel lean on her as his only support system. 

 

Although Jill’s relationships with her mom and Daniel’s with his are vastly different, they both lead Jill to ruminate over how to fix the relationship or the people involved. After Jill’s mother leaves the family, Jill constantly tries to eliminate her mother’s traces, both in the house and her heart. It seems she initially felt powerless in taking back her happiness, as she tied it so closely to the scars her mother left behind. With Daniel, Jill latches onto their connection on the basis of having an estranged mother. To me, it seemed like Jill’s efforts in trying to fix what she could in Daniel’s life gave her the illusion of control over her own circumstances, even if she only got as far as fixing his brakes. 

 

Towards the end of the book, Jill puts her foot down and tells her mother she will be happier if they no longer are involved in each other’s lives. She also acknowledges that Daniel’s “world had shrunk to include only his mom and [Jill], and he’d latched onto [Jill] because he needed someone.” At this point, Jill accepts that Daniel’s tragic family dynamics are not her responsibility, despite how much they share in common. The two had reached out to the closest thing they thought might save them, but ultimately learned that they cannot use each other to heal. To follow Low Entropy’s mission of personal growth and empowerment, I think If I Fix You is a spectacular illustration of how we can navigate our own lives when all seems lost or unrecoverable. Healing and recovery are more about how our lives go on, despite changes within us, than it is about trying to return to circumstances before adversity. Jill may not have reconciled with her mother or healed Daniel’s trauma, but she put herself on an alternative path for her own healing journey. At the same time, it’s important to recognize how valid it is for grief to still be involved in letting go. For instance, Jill is on track to heal without her mother in her life while simultaneously grieving the loss of a parent. 

 

To wrap up, let’s look at the metaphor of the car in the idea of healing without the need to strive for perfection. When Jill receives her dream car, the Spitfire, as a gift, she takes it on a drive – only for the engine to fail because she had run it prematurely. In my interpretation, this event was a culmination of the lesson that humans do not live, break or heal as cars do. When the Spitfire broke down, Jill thinks, “I’d killed my dream car, and I didn’t have any more time to fix it again, if that was even possible.” She had also resorted to this pattern of thinking when she faced her relationships with her mother and Daniel. A binary system of “fixed and happy” versus “broken and burdened” clouded her ability to envision alternatives. But we as humans have the power to keep going even when we feel broken. Cars can’t run unless they are in the right shape: they either work or they don’t, but people aren’t like that. The scars we bear – visible or invisible – are a testament to how much we have braved in our lives. They are anything but a sign of defect.

 

We have the power to change and uplift ourselves, even if the world seems to be in denial of our progress. There is so much possibility in how we can shape our lives, and no permanent standard to which we must calibrate in order to grow.

 

—

 

My name is Jihu, and I’m from Salt Lake City, Utah! I have been with Low Entropy since May 2021. Some of the things I love are reading, writing, listening to music, playing with my dogs and spending time with my sister!

Moving Forward

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Regrets . . . we’ve had a few. But, then again . . . Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Julia Magsombol offers some advice on how to get back up and on our way. 

 

Moving forward in our everyday lives wasn’t easy, especially when we have committed many mistakes in the past. We all commit mistakes simply because we are humans. When they become too much to handle, we sometimes get stuck in the past. We can’t move forward anymore. Most of the time, our mistakes from the past control us and our lives in the present, which can negatively affect our future. So how can we move forward in our lives when we’ve made tons of mistakes?

 

I took different courses, such as philosophy, sociology and ethical studies, in university. In those classes, we talked about several topics and issues that covered advice on how to manage ourselves when we’ve committed mistakes from the past and how to avoid them again in the future. I would say that those did not help at all. Besides different professors explaining those lectures in a complicated manner, they sometimes added theories on human minds that I couldn’t grasp. Those classes were interesting, but I did not enjoy them all. After all, how could those professors or philosophers from ancient Greece tell us to manage our lives with complicated theories? Could those life theories and deep vocabularies help us move forward or make better life choices? Maybe, but I didn’t feel like they could. 

 

I’ve made a lot of mistakes in the past, and I still do now. I am a human with flaws, and I am imperfect. I’ve had a lot of failed relationships. Sadly, I’ve also failed in my relationship with myself. Sometimes I still can’t accept my mistakes, and I’m still not healed. I sometimes wake up in the morning thinking if I can still do it. At night, I’ve been an insomniac, unable to sleep. In short, my past mistakes have controlled me and my decision-making. I have regrets, and I wish I could turn back time. I’ve struggled to achieve inner peace. I have difficulty accepting my mistakes, but I’ve figured out coping mechanisms. I’ve numbered all the things I should remember whenever I want to give up because of the mistakes I’ve committed, and here they are:

 

  1. Just cry

Some people think that crying is for the weak, or that crying is for vulnerable people who can’t figure out the solutions to the mistakes they have committed. But so what? We are human beings who feel pain. It is alright to cry and let your emotions out. 

 

  1. Learn from your mistakes 

I know this sounds cliché, but it’s true. As the Mad Hatter from Alice Through the Looking Glass said, “You might not change the past, but you might learn something from it.” We can’t time travel like we see in movies. We can never go back to the time we committed mistakes and avoid them. All we can do is learn from those experiences. 

 

  1. Don’t repeat your mistakes 

Sometimes, when we commit mistakes, we repeat them again. We may never know the real reason, but we shouldn’t commit another mistake that will make us suffer more. It is okay to commit mistakes once in a difficult situation, but not repetitively. 

 

  1. The mistakes you’ve committed don’t define you

Sometimes, we are left with difficult decisions, and we can’t do anything about them. We are just humans who commit mistakes in different situations. We are not perfect, so we shouldn’t let mistakes define who we are and overshadow the goodness in ourselves. 

 

  1. Don’t hurt yourself 

We might blame ourselves for all the mistakes we have made. Sadly, we might get mad and hurt ourselves, both physically and emotionally. It is alright to get mad, but hurting ourselves isn’t right. After all, we only have ourselves in the end. 

 

  1. There’s always tomorrow.

Annie from Annie sings, “The sun will come out tomorrow, so you gotta hang on ‘til tomorrow.” It isn’t easy to move forward, but there’s always tomorrow to do better things, to be the best version of ourselves. We are never too late in life. We are free to live and to do the things we love. Give yourself a chance on your own tomorrow and hang in there. 

 

I haven’t forgotten all the mistakes I’ve committed or moved on from them, but reading this, the advice I’ve created for myself, helps me to cope and, sometimes, to get me on track once again. It isn’t easy to move on forward when you’ve made a lot of mistakes. But keep in mind that it is never impossible to move forward. We can always keep trying.

 

How do you pick yourself up again when you’ve made a mistake? Let us know in the comments below, or talk it through with some supportive peers at a Conscious Connections meeting!

On Fear and Happiness

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Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Kat Z starts with questions about leadership, and arrives at a galvanizing answer about self-respect.

 

To rule with fear or respect – it’s a question that distinguishes different types of leaders. Which is truly more effective in the eyes of the amassed crowd? How does a single person grasp the spirit of the people in a way that produces a productive result? Leadership involves maintaining a grip on the reins of the herd, but what, really, is the right way of doing this?

 

Every person responds to people in positions of power differently. Some find a threatening stature to be the most impactful, and are motivated by avoiding the dangers of failure. Others require a kind, supporting figure to succeed. They enjoy life led towards prosperity with a gentle hand.

 

You can notice these various styles of leadership in every political figure. There are democratic candidates: those who must vie for the admiration of the public in order to be elected. Alternatively, there are dictators. Dictators, or any other tyrannical leader, feed off the fear of their people to remain in power.

 

In some ways, using fear as a motivator can be very effective. After all, fear is a primary driver for human adaptation and survival. But there is also a high cost: a greatly decreased quality of life. Consistently using extreme measures to push yourself to your limit is an incredibly taxing and tiring method. To put it in a wider view, very few countries have found lasting success using this method. An autocratic country with content citizens is not far off from an oxymoron. They’re also rarely economically profitable. An afraid and unhappy population does not produce the greatest quality, or quantity, of work. Fear is a method designed to defeat the strongest of us.

 

This doesn’t only ring true in politics. This rule can be applied to any single person’s communication style. And it can be seen in how we respond to different people. 

 

Most importantly, it can be seen in how we treat ourselves.

 

We aren’t just born this way, as some may lead you to believe. We are taught how to handle ourselves by witnessing the influential people in our lives. Whether they be our parents, siblings, grandparents or someone unrelated to us, their actions will be reflected in ours. We, as the next generation, will then go on to influence our children.

 

If we rely on fear, the parasitic pain that results is allowed to propagate. Then how can I possibly escape my own brain?

 

Your neurological system has been taught that fear is the best possible way of achieving success in life. It will never knowingly try to bring itself down, it’s just doing the best it can with the given circumstances.

 

The genetic staircase that brings about these views may seem insurmountable, but that is not the case. The importance of treating yourself gently can be learnt with time and patience. However, in order to rewire your brain, you must first be aware of how negative treatment came about as the default. To effectively move on, we must look back and reflect on the past. Thoroughly processing the details of your upbringing can be an incredibly harrowing experience, but the only way to properly treat an infection is to first release the pus that hides the wound.

 

Humans as a group have an intense need to constantly evolve. We have a drive like no other to be the most improved versions of ourselves. It can be easily forgotten that we still have some of those same primal instincts from when our ancestors lived in comparatively underdeveloped conditions. Our minds and abilities have come incredibly far, yet we still cannot seem to grasp our final existential goal. Many people think that it is tangible success, whether it involves making the most money or having the most things, though this isn’t the case. You can endlessly improve the standard of the objects around you, but a lot of the time, this will only decrease your quality of your life. 

 

In reality, the most highly evolved goal is to be able to do things purely out of enjoyment. There are entire industries that exist because of the happiness these products bring to people, whether it aids their survival or not. This is, admittedly, a problematic concept, as there are vast numbers of people all over the world who still have to worry about their most basic needs. But it does prove that the human race isn’t only a race to the finish line; it also involves appreciating what you have, when you have it.

 

This means allowing yourself to simply live life. To abandon all unnecessary stress and to remember that, in order to demand respect from others, you have to first demand it from yourself.

 

Power produced from your own pain is not power in itself, but abuse. You deserve to be happy, you deserve to believe that you can live a life that isn’t ruled by fear.

 

Each person is the sole leader of themselves, so it can’t be forgotten that the journey to a fulfilling life begins with the proper, respectful treatment of you.

Treat yourself! What makes you happy? Let us know on any of our social media channels, in the comments below or in person at a Conscious Connections meeting!

Her Performance

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We all look different, so why should beauty standards encourage us to be the same? Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Prateek Sur has a story that will hopefully encourage us to shed fat-shaming thoughts and become more body-positive.

 

Actresses in the film and television industry are supposed to maintain a certain kind of image. Not only are they required to always look good, but they’re also asked to maintain a specific body type. In most cases, this body type is skinny, but with big breasts. But there are short people and there are tall people, there are rich people and there and poor people, there are good people and there are bad people – so, why are women, in general, required in society to always be good-looking, skinny, fair and curvy? It’s not right!

 

Let me share with you a story of a friend of mine, who had just landed in Mumbai – the heart of Bollywood – from a small town to become an actress back in 2013. She was overweight for Bollywood standards, and she had no qualms about it. She joined our theatre group and that’s how we became friends. Everyone in the theatre group used to tell her in hushed tones to try and lose some weight, as that would help her bag better roles. She wasn’t that bothered as she was quite a happy-go-lucky girl, and quite outspoken too about her not being a slimmer body type. She had no shame in accepting herself as who she was, and I especially liked her because of this.

 

Soon enough, the devil caught up with her.

 

The girl, who was always bubbly and charming, suddenly started being low on energy and confidence. Never before did she falter in her lines for a play, but suddenly she started forgetting her lines and, at times, gave double-takes. It was affecting the rest of our performances. We didn’t know what the issue was and she didn’t tell us when we used to hang out.

 

One day, she came in late for practice and informed us all that she left the gym late. When she had first arrived in town, she was totally against going to the gym and believed that her talent and her learnings at the film school would help her build a career in films and television. Now, seeing her hitting the gym, we all started questioning her as to what had happened. After a little bit of prodding, she finally broke down in front of us.

 

She opened up, saying that she had been going to almost 80-100 auditions a week and he had been rejected from all of them as she was not skinny enough. Other, skinnier girls, and sometimes even the casting directors’ assistants, made fun of her body at the auditions. In one of the auditions, she advanced to the second round and then, on camera, was laughed at by everyone present in the room. She felt humiliated, as if she had committed some crime by being born with her body. That’s when she decided to hit the gym and shed some weight.

 

We all noticed what she wasn’t noticing. She was trying to lose weight, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but she was also slowly slipping into depression. We could see the change in her attitude in the weeks to come. She stopped hanging out with us after practice, and whenever she did, she didn’t indulge in any food. That was impacting her mind and her inner peace.

 

We all used to try and motivate her and tell her to stay cheerful and tell her not to take casting directors’ words and decisions to heart. We all used to try and pump up her confidence, but she had gone down to a state where she had lost all hope of ever making it in the film and television industry. The fact that she wasn’t losing much weight despite a strict diet and sincere gymming was also adding to her woes.

 

One day she informed our theatre group teacher and leader that she was packing up her life in Mumbai and going back to her hometown. Our upcoming show would probably be her last show. Our teacher, along with the rest of us, tried to inspire her to not lose hope and stick on, but she had already made up her mind to return home.

 

She left after a few days.

 

I happened to get a call a few days after she had arrived back in her hometown, from her father. I am not sure how he got my number, but he called me out of utter concern for his daughter. He asked me what had happened to his daughter, as she had sent a girl who was full of life to Mumbai, but the one who had returned was someone totally different. She  hardly talked to them, never went out to meet her friends and would barely use her phone or laptop. She kept herself locked in her room most of the time. I told him what happened in Mumbai, as much as I knew. Her father felt sorry for the entire scenario and said that he would keep in touch with me if there was any other need.

 

After that, all of us from the theatre group barely got any responses from her to our messages. She never picked up our calls, and hardly ever joined our video chats. A few months later, she even left the WhatsApp groups of the theatre troupe. Slowly, we all disconnected from her.

 

Almost a year later, I got a call from a friend of mine who was casting for a TV show. As he had seen our play and had seen the girl perform on stage, he asked me for her contact. I told him that she might not pick up his calls as she was no longer in Mumbai and barely responded to any of ours. My friend asked me if there was a video recording of our play which had her performance in it. I had that recording on my laptop and sent it over to my friend.

 

A few days after that, my friend called me again and he sounded happy. He told me that he had shown the video of the play to the director and producers of the show, and they loved the girl’s performance. He asked me to get in touch with her somehow and ask her to come back to Mumbai for a face-to-face audition, as she was almost guaranteed to be cast for the show.

 

After getting all the details about the show from my friend, I remembered that I had the girl’s dad’s contact number. I called him, and sure enough, he recognised me. After the usual pleasantries, he informed me that his daughter had been seeing a therapist for almost a year for depression. I asked her father if he could give the phone to his daughter, as she wasn’t picking up any of our calls. Unable to convince his daughter to speak on the phone, he decided to just put the phone on speaker while holding it in front of her.

 

I told her that she had been almost finalised for a show on StarPlus TV’s upcoming new show as the lead actress. She started talking now, and I could hear that gleam of joy returning to her voice. She was inquisitive about the show. I told her all the details, about how it was one of India’s biggest television channels and the show was being made by one of the biggest TV czarinas in the Indian film and television industry. I told the girl about how I had sent the video of our play to my casting director friend and how things got into motion. The girl wanted to know the character that she was to play, and I told her that it was the lead. She couldn’t believe me, as she knew her looks and body type didn’t match that of any other lead actress, and she was thinking that she would be playing some small part. I had to assure her that she would indeed be the lead. She fit the bill perfectly.

 

As it happened, they were looking for an actress who was heavier than the Bollywood standard, and thus could bring freshness to the show.

 

Soon afterward, she was back in Mumbai. She did the final look tests and got selected for the show. Within minutes of her being selected, I could see that she had gone back to being that old happy-go-lucky girl whom I had come to know for some time.

 

The makers of the show didn’t ask her to lose any weight, as the show demanded someone who could steal the audience’s hearts with her performance, and not by their physical appearance.

 

And that’s exactly what happened. The show went on to become one of the most popular shows of the year. The girl went on to win a couple of awards at popular award shows for her performance as well. She is back to being her real self now, and there is no depression anymore in her personal life. On the contrary, she has started using her Instagram page to share body positivity stories and give a piece of her mind to people who think that actresses must only be of a specific body type.

 

Isn’t that women’s empowerment at its best? She is sharing from her own experiences to empower others.

 

She is now one of the leading actresses in her genre and has millions of fans. Despite becoming so famous, she hasn’t forgotten us from the theatre troupe. She always meets us and chats with us whenever she’s free. At the same time, she uses her popularity to make young girls entering the film industry aware of the perils she faced at the start, how she overcame her depression and how everyone should have good friends around who can help them lift their spirits.

 

Now, looking at her story, it is up to us to ensure that weight is no longer a bane, but a boon for actresses everywhere.

 

Indeed, let’s all work on eliminating shame from the social discourse about peoples’ bodies. If you have a tale of body positivity, please share it with us in the comments below, or on any of our social media platforms – help inspire us all to love each other unconditionally!

How to Cope with Racial Tension as a Biracial Person (and Take Your Power Back!)

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Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Daniel Quinney’s mixed-race background has prompted the same set of conversational questions over and over again, but for a long time Daniel struggled with finding an answer to feeling disconnected and excluded. For anyone who has felt the same way in this increasingly polarized world, Daniel shares some ideas on how to create a space where you belong.

 

As an individual of biracial heritage with an Irish-Canadian mother and an African father, I have always struggled with the fact that I often feel that I come from two different worlds.

 

How can a person, with one parent from a dominant group in society and another from a racialized group, deal with the tension that arises from belonging to both groups? Or the unwelcome feeling that they belong to neither?

 

How do we find our voice to speak up and live our truth as only we can?

 

Too black for white people. Too white for black people. 

 

I’ve heard these sentiments echoed often from people I know who have mixed-race backgrounds like mine. 

 

When I was younger, people would ask, “So, what are you?” Of course, it would be game time for me at this point, so I would tell them that I am a person.

 

A human was also acceptable if I wanted to be extra cute.

 

So they would then ask, “Ok, but what is your nationality? “

 

I would say Canadian. They would come back with, “Yeah, yeah, but what is your ethnicity?”

 

I knew what they were getting at. Even though I was born in Vancouver, I would eventually relent and give them what they want.

 

Half-Tanzanian, half-Irish, I would say. 

 

At an earlier age, I would have simply said half-African, but as time passed I think I wanted to up the level of difficulty a little (a bit of a pattern with me).

 

Yet ever since I found a deeper appreciation for the African side of my identity as a teenager, I often had this nagging feeling that half of me was on the wrong side of a conversation or dispute that had been going on long before I was born.

 

I gradually came to understand that people of all walks of life, of all colours, abilities, genders and orientations, can feel disconnected or without a sense of belonging in this world, and that I didn’t have a monopoly on that feeling of not fitting in. Over time, I found constructive ways to do something about what I was experiencing.

 

Along that journey, I developed coping mechanisms to give myself, as a biracial person, a sense of place and belonging in the world. I hope I have done an adequate job of passing these on to my children, and others as well.

 

  • Love your uniqueness: Only you are exactly like you. Be proud of yourself, both mentally and physically. Textured hair? Green eyes? Big ol’ butt? Don’t be ashamed of the features that make you unique as a mixed-race person. Don’t hide what you are, embrace it. Forget about the so-called “traditional” standard of beauty; it’s a new world out there. 

 

  • Use your creative voice at work and within your community: Be vocal about the things you care about. Listen to the stories of other voices, other communities, other races. Support causes you truly believe in. If you are an artist of any kind, reflect that passion in your artwork, whatever it is, since it is a reflection of you and your thoughts.

 

  • If you can’t give dollars, give your time:  Give back to the generations that are coming up. Volunteer to be a mentor, or a tutor if you are an expert in your field. By the way, we are all experts in something. Time to pay it forward.

 

  • Share your culture: Go to the festivals. Celebrate the customs of both cultures, whatever they may be. Talk about your history and the story of your family. Encourage strong ties with grandparents on both sides. Embrace and show off the things you enjoy about your culture(s) with your kids, and your friends too. 

 

  • It’s OK to not talk about race all the time: Not everyone is a Malcolm X or an Oprah or MLK or Obama, and that’s just fine. People define themselves in different ways, least of all by race, and that’s the way it should be.

 

  • Don’t play the role or try to fit a stereotype: Find positive role models who look like you and embody the way you want to be and how you want to live. Trust me, they’re out there in abundance.

 

  • Racist situations can be teaching opportunities: If people you encounter in everyday life say inappropriate or racist things, call it what it is . . . politely and in a nonviolent way. Safety is the priority, no matter what feelings get riled up in the heat of the moment. This is a time to show others the way to confront racism, so take advantage of it. Take emotions out of it, and just call it by name and say why it is wrong, but be safe.

 

  • Take care of yourself: The endless race and culture debate, whether experienced first-hand in a spirited discussion with colleagues or through the media, can bring a kind of fatigue or numbness. When this occurs, in your personal life or out in the world, make sure to take some time out for yourself to reflect and heal.

 

  • Be prepared to talk about the bad days as well as the good: Talk about racism, the legacy of slavery and other uncomfortable things, and in the process, you will educate others, both on the progress that has been made and how we still have to move forward. Truth is truth.

 

How has your race, ethnicity and/or nationality informed who you are? Share your stories with us on any of our social media platforms, in person at a Conscious Connections meeting, or simply hop down to the comments below!

With Confidence

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Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Alexandra Dadivas emerged from the depths of negative self-talk and peer pressure with the support of a very special person. Now committed to bringing others up with her, Alexandra speaks to the importance of creating a chain reaction of love and positivity.

 

For the past couple of years, my biggest personal project has been myself. Being a high school student, I am constantly immersed in an environment that points out which parts of you are acceptable for society and which parts are not. I know that, for me personally, the majority of my insecurities were not insecurities before society told me they were. Like so many others, I fell down a deep hole, into a relentless mindset that if others didn’t like me, I wasn’t allowed to love myself. Me? Looking like this? I didn’t believe I deserved it. Mirrors taunted me. Pictures and videos triggered voices in my head screaming at me that I was a complete waste of space and that it was hopeless for me to ever be considered pretty. It wasn’t fair. Everyone else was so beautiful and easy to love, so what was wrong with me?

 

I then came across a treasure – I met one of my dearest friends, Pat. She took on a sister-like role almost immediately after we clicked, and I still can’t believe I got lucky enough for her to enter my life. We quickly became comfortable with opening up to one another, free from the fear of judgement. When she told me she was just as insecure about herself as I was, it was as if my brain couldn’t comprehend such an idea. She was perfect to me, beautiful on the inside and out, and it confused me how she didn’t see that. Instead of showering me with the seemingly typical compliments of pity, she made a suggestion that ended up changing the way I lead my life: “Why don’t we climb this mountain together?”

 

Together. For the longest time, it felt like it was just me in this infinite well, with no hope of being free. Yet here comes along this light that manages to seep through the cracks, allowing me to finally breathe. She said we were going to tackle this one baby step at a time, and that we were going to catch one another if we fell. We recognized that we were not going to carry the other person to the top so much as guide them, for everyone has their own unique mountain to climb. And so that’s what we did. For two years, we both stumbled and we both almost gave up numerous times, but we had each other’s back. I can now proudly say that, though I am not at the summit just yet, I am so much farther than when I first started my journey – my journey to love every single aspect of me, whether it is deemed acceptable to society or not.

 

My 2020 New Year’s resolution was to feel comfortable in my own skin. With Pat by my side, I have achieved so many small personal goals, but I have also helped achieve some of hers along the way. It’s an incredible feeling, to see someone grow right before your very eyes. I found myself craving that feeling, and so I made it my 2021 resolution to try to extend the sensation of being confident enough in yourself that you live your life with no fear anymore. I am no longer afraid to wear the clothes I want to wear, to act the way I want to act, and to do the things that I am passionate about. If I have the power and opportunity to extend such an experience to other teenagers like me, I want to take it.

 

Empowering others is like a garden of flowers. All it takes is one strong flower to bloom and shed its seeds, and from there it is an endless domino effect. That is the beautiful thing about helping others with confidence – once someone gains confidence in themselves, they gain confidence in others as well. They begin to believe in people and feel the need to spread self-love to as many individuals as possible. This then leads to creating an incredible community of people who all started in different places and all have their own stories, but ultimately have the same goal. This community acts as an enormous wall of support for humans who are trying to get to where they want to be, and just need a little push. 

 

If you are not where you want to be on this mountain yet, join hands with another. You may not realize it, but everyone has had the same cruel thoughts running through their heads as you have. Likewise, everyone has their time to bloom, including you! This body of people is constantly expanding, so no matter where you are or where you go, know that you always have a place to turn to, and I am proudly a part of that place.

If you’re looking for a supportive, encouraging group of people, Low Entropy might be the place for you! Check out our online community or drop by a Conscious Connections meet-up to keep that domino effect going!

Changing Careers: The Bright Side!

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When you’re stuck in the drudgery of a job you don’t like for long enough, the status quo can feel like a shadow cast from a monumental, immovable obstacle. Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Blaine Hancock, however, reminds us that if we’re willing to charge in a different direction, brighter days might be just around the corner.

 

Changing careers can be an incredibly frightening process. Leaving a career you dislike to pursue a different path can be difficult to even consider. Why leave a consistent paycheque? Why leave a career you’ve dedicated years of your life to? Why leave a job you worked so hard to get? Taking a big step away from all that you have known is never easy.

 

Well, I’m here to tell you that, though there are a few scary things about leaving a career, there are also MANY good reasons to change or consider changing careers! You will feel a renewed sense of ambition, you may reconnect with old passions you left in the dust, and much more! Hooray for the bright side! Let’s take a closer look at some positives that can come from a career change.

 

Renewed Ambition

 

After working at a job for an extended period of time, especially if it’s a job you’re not particularly fond of, you often lose your sense of motivation and struggle to pull yourself out of a monotonous routine. Once you take the step of deciding to change careers, you will feel an enormous sense of renewed ambition and drive. You will be more motivated than ever to figure out your next path. This ambition and drive will also translate to many parts of your life you have been neglecting or pushing aside. Use this ambition to create the best version of yourself.

 

Explore New Paths

 

Of course, the most obvious positive that can come from a career change is the ability to explore new career paths. Although the amount of options to consider may feel overwhelming at first, you will quickly realize that it can be so much fun to look into the next chapter of your life! Do you look for a career in a similar field? Do you do a complete 180 and change your career aspirations entirely? Do you go back to university or take a free online class? The world is your oyster!

 

Reconnect with Old Passions

 

When we change careers, we often reflect on our past and what we did, or didn’t do, to reach our current position in life. This reflection can help us remember certain pursuits and activities we used to like, but ended up temporarily kicking to the curb to pursue our current career. Reconnecting with these old passions will help you to recognize that you have way more interests than just the ones you’re pursuing currently. Furthermore, it will help you to realize that there are other career options that might be a perfect fit for you.

 

Reevaluate Your Mental Health

 

One interesting positive that can come from a career change is a reevaluation of your mental health. While working in a career you dislike, you often don’t fully realize the negative effects it can have on your mental health. Stepping away will give you more time to reevaluate how you are doing and figure out the best way to rejuvenate your mental well-being. Also, this gives you an opportunity to think about switching to a career that’s better for your mental health, or at least think about how you can better handle your mental health while working.

 

After reading this blog, you still might be hesitant and afraid to change careers or consider changing careers. That’s totally okay and understandable: it’s not an easy decision. But don’t forget, there are just as many positive reasons for a career change as there are scary ones. Remember to look on the bright side!

 

Have you made a big career change in your life? Tell us about your decision and how it’s turning out in the comments or in person with a Low Entropy discussion group!

Transformation

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by Anna Bernsteiner

 

You grow like a sunflower reaching up to the sun in mid-May. 

There is no other way, but forward. 

Slowly, unnoticeable at first. 

You pierce through the dirt.

Air, Sunshine, life. 

Up you go with a goal in mind. 

Shaking off all the darkness and doubts. 

Grow grow grow that’s all you know

 

There are times when it gets dark. 

No light in sight. 

All you want is some daylight 

And yet the sunshine always returns

Giving you strength. 

Even when all the others are far ahead. 

You shine on your own time. 

No rush. 

There is none of you that isn’t enough. 

 

And as you realize that truth

It’s now your time to bloom.

Yellow, orange, brown 

It’s like you are wearing a dashing crown. 

It seems that now 

you don’t need to reach up to the sun.

You don’t hide and run. 

You know, you are the center of your own life.

And finally, 

you bloom like a sunflower that found its light in mid-July

 

Live Aloha

Posted on by andrew

Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Nicole Riglietti takes us on a transformative voyage, escaping from despair and self-contempt to Hawaii and the curative love of the Aloha Spirit.

 

With the carefully constructed confines of society, it is amazingly easy to feel lost in the day to day, in the moments and minutes of a grim reality. Lost in the crippling anxiety, lost in pleasing everyone, lost in self-neglect. A few years back, I was lost to who I was. On an unglamourous healing journey of self-discovery, I found kindness, compassion and self-love. Drowning in my own skin, stuck in the wretched grasp of my tormented mind. I felt like a captive prisoner held hostage to past hardships. It terrorized me as fierce flames engulf a house burning from the inside out. There was nowhere left to run. I felt my heart, mind and soul fill with self-loathing, unworthiness and the inescapable illusion of being unlovable. I felt it deep within my core, a belief I carried and held on to for years. Staring at myself in the mirror, screaming, begging, pleading for me to love me – all of me. Mocking tears gushed down my cheeks, and I had enough. I couldn’t escape my painful existence, so I escaped my surroundings and all the people in it. 

 

“The Aloha Spirit” . . . her words echoed as they left her lips, bouncing off the corners of my racing mind. ‘Aloha’ was nothing but a greeting, simply ‘hello’, ‘goodbye’. How could it mean anything more? On the plane I ruminated over my self-destructive ways and inability to feel love for myself, only  interrupted briefly by the flight attendant’s safety plan. 

 

“When the oxygen masks eject, put one over yourself first before helping the child beside you.” Even in the greatest heights of tragedy, one must help themselves first, before helping another. One must love themselves first, before loving another. What a concept. At the time it was completely foreign to me. ‘Self-love’ – what does that even mean?

 

Landing in Hawaii, I felt a sacred energy buzzing throughout the majestic island of Maui. Aloha. Just one word held so much power indeed. I saw it everywhere. Black bumper stickers with bright red lettering read ‘Practice Aloha’, and these bumper stickers were posted all over, hidden in plain sight to the untrained eye. When the locals said “Aloha,” it carried great weight. I discovered Aloha meant respect, honour, kindness, compassion, love, hope, responsibility, acceptance, openness and joy. All these profound words, these attributes embody the Aloha Spirit. Given to others, and especially to one’s self first. It never occurred to me that I should be treating myself in this way. Holding enough respect for myself to take care of me. Honour my worth, my skills and talents. Have the responsibility to fill my life with that which brings me joy. Speaking to myself with gentle kindness and compassion. Accepting all of me just as I am. Showing up for myself, having the courage to fight for a love I can be proud of and feeling completely whole.

 

Like trust, love has many layers that take years to build. I’m still building these layers. After much grueling inner work, I have a foundation which grows stronger daily. I found myself accepting my sorrow and celebrating my joy, for they are two sides of the same coin, forever intertwined. As I released the resistance, I also let go of all the fear, shame and doubt. I had courage to follow my heart.

 

I went on a hunt for this bumper sticker so that I might be reminded to practice Aloha. A woman stared at me oddly at my request, as I was not a local, just some woman clearly struggling with her own self-worth, held together by her faulty insecurities. Before I could grasp the bumper sticker in my hand, she told me I had to promise to practice Aloha. This calmed some of my anxieties, yet doubt is a persistent thing, always lurking in the shadows, pouncing on the vulnerable. Especially when one had been battling the darkness within, it was difficult to trust a newfound freedom.

 

Waiting for a bus to take me to the airport. Doubt and chaos controlling my mind, questioning the hallmark advertisement of ‘Aloha’, a kind “Hello” brought me back to my surroundings. On my left there was a cute old man who wanted to talk. To my amazement he brought up the ‘Aloha Spirit’, filling me with absolute hope. It raised my vibrations. How could he know that I’ve been focused on this phrase? I felt connected to him, connected to the ebbs and flows of the universe. As a native to Maui, he had a deep understanding of what the Aloha Spirit meant. His late wife, born and raised in New Jersey, had had it. He didn’t think it possible for a person not native to Hawaii to be filled with the Aloha Spirit.  In that moment, for different reasons, we both marveled at the possibility. 

 

After being strangled for years by suffering, when I gave into the idea of self-compassion, I began to feel lighter. Self-compassion opened the doors to the ‘Aloha Spirit’ and living in Aloha led me to the unconditional love I feel for myself, where I truly feel wholeheartedly complete. Self-love has shifted my perception on life, and I am genuinely able to spread the joy within me to those around me. Though the healing journey is a long, winding road, feeling like utter destruction at times, don’t give up. Keep going. Practice self-love. Live Aloha. 

 

Everybody has a spirituality specific to them – tell us about yours in the comments or at a Low Entropy meet-up . . . who knows? You could be one of those special moments on someone’s journey to self-love.

Love Yourself Like You Love Yourself

Posted on by andrew

During this time of year, the world reverberates with proclamations of love for families, friends and partners, but Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Satkar BK reminds us that we also need to love ourselves with that same energy. 

 

Every February, I can’t help but see all the love in the air. Whether it be watching rom-coms or marriage proposal videos on YouTube, I find myself drawn to the idea of love during the most romantic month of the year. It’s easy to imagine a lot of us being attracted to the idea of love. We, humans, are social creatures by nature, and love is another way for us to be connected. Although science may say love is purely a chemical reaction to help us reproduce as a species, anyone who has ever been in love will tell you that it is so much more. Love can be the greatest feeling in the world, or one of the most terrifying, sometimes at the same time. The feeling of love has fueled incredible things throughout history, from the story of The Iliad to the invention of medical gloves. When we have someone we care for so deeply, we can seemingly accomplish anything. 

 

This leads me to the topic for today’s blog. What would happen if we loved ourselves like we love the ones around us? What if we surprised ourselves with flowers? What if we stayed up late to watch our favorite shows? What if we helped ourselves through our toughest times without any hesitation? It’s remarkable to think of the many things we could do at a drop of a hat for our parents, friends and loved ones, in contrast to how difficult it may be to give ourselves even one compliment. I could tell my partner how her smile could outshine a supernova, but I cringe when I stare too long into a mirror. I could shower my cat with all the affection she can handle, but I struggle with patting myself on the back. What I’ve discovered is the love that I feel for others is so much stronger than the love I allow for myself. 

 

The reason I and many others struggle with treating ourselves the same way we treat others is because we see ourselves for our mistakes and imperfections, and see others for the best versions of themselves. We accept that no one is perfect, but expect perfection from ourselves. This Valentine’s Day, why don’t we take the challenge to love ourselves like we love others. To see ourselves as amazing in the way that others do, and to look past the little problems that exist only to us. This is a difficult concept that I haven’t come close to mastering, but it’s one that is incredibly important. We have an infinite amount of love to give throughout our lives and it would be a shame if we could not give some of that love to ourselves. Even if it’s just a little bit, I ask every single person who reads this to take just a moment, look at all the wonderful things you’ve done in your life, look towards the wonderful things you will continue to do and say, “I love you.” 

 

Loving yourself can be challenging. We all need help in one way or another. Low Entropy is dedicated to helping you . . . yes, you! . . . appreciate how wonderful you truly are: keep an eye on some of the programs we offer and start by telling us what you love about yourself this Valentine’s Day.