Month: July 2021

Dear Victoria

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In a love letter to his favourite place, Low Entropy Writer Mike Vaness shares with us how Vancouver Island captured his heart.

 

When you think of your favourite place, is it hard to narrow it down to a single choice? Everyone has their favourite place to relax, their favourite restaurant or their favourite holiday spot where they can get away from everyday life. Whenever I think about my parents’ home on Vancouver Island, I get an immediate yearning to go there. The pandemic has made it difficult to travel outside my home province of British Columbia, yet even prior to the restrictions Vancouver Island was still my top choice. While the appeal of visiting my family is strong, there are so many other aspects I enjoy about Vancouver Island that make it my go-to dream destination. 

 

So, what is it about Vancouver Island, and Victoria specifically, that I find so relaxing and enjoyable? I believe it has to do with the journey as a whole: it starts with a ferry ride that brings a lot of the fun and enjoyment to the overall experience. I have always loved being on the water, and even when it’s on a large ship, there is just something fun, new, and exciting about it. Whether I am relaxing in the indoor seating area or the outside deck of the ship, I can watch our destination come into view as we maneuver around the smaller islands with a sensation of exploration and adventure. It always feels like a new experience, and it really helps take me out of my everyday routine and brings me into the moment of not only where I am, but where I’m going. 

 

Once I arrive on the island, I like the fact that I am familiar enough with the location that I can make my way around, but enough time has passed for any changes to be new and exciting, and I revel in that sense of discovery. Vancouver Island has such a different look and feel to mainland British Columbia, where on the island everything seems to be a bit slower-paced and smaller in scale. Even when driving through the busier and denser parts of Victoria, BC’s capital city has a uniquely distinct feeling compared to that of Vancouver. I really enjoy this difference: you get the feeling that everyone there is just moving around at their own pace. Victoria is large enough to have a wide variety of businesses and landmarks, but yet it is still small enough so that you don’t have to spend hours walking to any one destination. Furthermore, the atmosphere on the island is much more old-fashioned, and the buildings and the appearance of the city is far less modern. Much of Victoria has maintained the look it had from the 19th century, and the city is flooded with history.

 

Every time you walk down the streets you can still see the history written in the very buildings and their architecture. The provincial government’s legislative buildings as a tourist attraction right in the heart of downtown certainly helps to preserve the overall image of the city. Further out, you can still feel the influence of the British colonial settlers, especially when it comes to the many old-style pubs with names like Six Mile Pub and Four Mile House – as these kinds of establishments acted as inns for the original roadway through the interior of the island. It seems everywhere you turn there is something of historical significance, and Vancouver Island embraces this. 

 

So, while the city of Victoria itself is very nice and has a great energy about it, of course the main reason that I love going to the island is to spend time with my family. When I spend time with my family, life just has a different feel to it: I don’t have to deal with nearly as many adult responsibilities and I am flooded with nostalgic emotions from when I was growing up. Now, I do believe that these emotions may have been amplified recently since the world has fallen into this pandemic, and I have not been able to see my family in over a year and a half. I now have a new appreciation for the old adage “Absence makes the heart grow fonder!” With that in mind, I do still love every moment that I am on the island: going out to eat at any of the incredible old-fashioned pubs, visiting the lovely gardens or wandering around the historic downtown core. I love being there and I do hope that one day I can make Vancouver Island my home. Until then, every time I visit I think: I’m going back to my favourite place.

What’s your favourite place? Reminisce with members of the Low Entropy community on our community platform, or join a Conscious Connections meeting to share your memories!

Healing Nature

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Even if you aren’t the outdoorsy type, being in nature – just for a little while – might still be beneficial to your mental health. Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Teagan Sliz writes on the growing awareness of the natural world’s curative properties.

 

Your neck muscles unscrunch, the tightness in your chest begins to subside, your thoughts become clear and your mind tranquil. All you have done is stepped foot into a forest, waded into a lake or merely wandered into your backyard. Your senses are awakened by the splendid sights, sounds and scents of the natural environment ─ the sweet aroma of damp soil, a canopy of green pierced by rays of golden light, the cheerful sound of birds chirping ─ and you are overcome by a profound feeling of serene calm. 

 

For millennia, humans have intuitively known that nature has restorative effects on one’s well-being. After all, for the majority of our species’ history, our lives have been closely intertwined with the natural world. This is why we go on walks to clear our minds and travel to lake houses, campgrounds or tropical beaches in order to “reset.” In recent decades, however, science has begun to confirm and explain what we intuitively know to be true.

 

Shinrin-yoku is a Japanese term which translates to “forest bathing.” In his 2018 article for Time Magazine, Dr. Qing Li, who studies the health benefits of forest bathing, describes this practice as “bathing in the forest atmosphere, or taking in the forest through our senses.” Dr. Li explains that the purpose of forest bathing is to bridge the gap between us and the natural world by simply being in nature ─ connecting with it through our senses of sight, hearing, taste, smell and touch. Through his research, Dr. Li has found that forest bathing reduces pulse rate, increases vigor and relaxation, and decreases feelings of anxiety, depression and fatigue. Dr. Li even found that these nature walks produce elevated levels of Natural Killer or NK cells in the immune system, which fight tumors and infections. 

 

What is more intriguing is just how easy it is to reap the benefits of the miracle drug that is nature. In a 2019 study led by Mathew White of the European Centre for Environment & Human Health, it was concluded that it takes a mere two hours a week of time spent in green spaces for individuals to report higher levels of good health and well-being.

 

These findings come as no surprise to me. Growing up, I was fortunate enough to have a cottage to which my family would make weekend trips in the summer months. On our trips north, as the distance between us and the city grew and we entered into the rural farmlands that sat quietly just north of the Greater Toronto Area, I remember feeling great elation as I sat in the back seat knowing what was to come. My memories of the cottage consist of swimming in the lake, hiking through the woods to hidden waterfalls, playing make-believe games with my cousins and sister in the forest, and watching sunsets from the dock. These memories, which all took place in nature, are some of my happiest. My cottage continues to be a place where I can go, not only to escape the stresses of urban life, but from which I return rejuvenated and restored. 

 

Though I am fortunate to have these cherished memories, the sad reality is that myself and others are severely lacking sustained interaction with the natural environment. At a time when the profound benefits of immersing oneself in nature are coming to light, we as a society have never been so disconnected from the natural world. In fact, in his article, Dr. Li notes that by 2050, 66 per cent of the world’s population is projected to live in cities, and that the average American spends 93 per cent of their time indoors. 

 

So what is to be done?

 

On the individual level, we can all stand to spend more time in nature. Seeing as we only need two hours of time spent in nature per week, it is hard to find an excuse not to. However, for those who live in city centers, many of which are lacking substantial green space, this can be a difficult task. Hope, however, is not lost. As concerns increase surrounding our nature-deficient, technology-heavy modern lifestyle, government officials, policymakers and citizens are pushing for change. 

 

In an article by Jim Robbins published at the Yale School of the Environment, he explores efforts “aimed at bringing nature into people’s everyday lives.” Robbins discusses how cities are adding or enhancing parks, and schools and other institutions are being designed with large windows and access to trees and green space. Robbins also notes how the number of “forest schools” — which have long been a tradition in Scandinavia and where much of the learning takes place in natural, outdoor settings — have mushroomed in the United States, up by 500 per cent since 2012.

 

It is undeniable that being in nature makes us feel good. Recent studies confirm this and reveal to us that nature provides the human mind and body with more health benefits than we could ever imagine. It is what we decide to do with this information that will be the true determinate of our health. So, take any chance you can get to go on a walk, bathe in a forest and inhale that sweet, healing scent of nature. 

 

What do you like to do outdoors? Share your hobbies and ideas with us in the comments below, or talk about your plans for the summer on our Low Entropy community website!

Pause.

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With a remarkably simple method, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Christie Gan nurtures optimism for each oncoming day.

 

Time is money.

 

Each and every second counts. I’ve been there, whether I’m rushing an assignment the night before it’s due, fulfilling customer orders at a cafe, trying to motivate a child I tutor to finish an essay before I leave or hurrying to meet a friend on time when she lives more than an hour away (her time is money, too).

 

However, despite the hustle of each day, I don’t wake up ready to get things done. Instead, I stay in bed and stare at the ceiling.

 

Each day is like a new song to me. But before it begins to play, I press pause.

 

Why?

 

As I’ve gotten older, constantly racing against the clock has taken its toll on me. While trying to balance my studies, work, social life, extracurriculars and health, at least two of these things have suffered on rotation. I’ve learned to accept things like grades that fall short of my expectations, lost sleep and friends who become frustrated with me for not making enough time for them. I push forward regardless, but . . . 

 

I’m human. 

 

I get tired when I don’t rest, which is what happens most days. I’m human, but I feel more robotic than ever when I work nonstop. Sometimes, I just want to do nothing.

 

Do I have the time to do nothing?

 

No. 

 

But I make time. I don’t have the time to do nothing during the day, so I make time before it happens. (I would say that sleep is that time for doing nothing, but even in my sleep, I tend to dream about my responsibilities.)

 

Those five, 10 and sometimes even 30 minutes in bed are often the only morsels of time I get to just breathe. I know what’s in store; it’s all in my head the night before, minutes before my head hits my pillow. It’s always something along the lines of this: 

 

“Okay, tomorrow, I’ve got a psychology exam and my contemporary art project presentation . . . I have to study for my other psychology exam, but I have to finish those research assistant applications too . . . oh, right, I’ll have to drag myself to the opening cafe shift first thing in the morning. I should really call Sarah, we’ve barely been able to talk for the past two weeks. But my parents are probably going to call me so I won’t be able to talk to her, will I? Oh well, guess I have to disappoint her again. And isn’t my essay due tomorrow too? I mean, I know it’s done but I’m way over the word limit.”

 

I sigh deeply, knock out, and then the reminder that there’s a tornado of activity to come hurtles at me the moment I peel my eyes open the next morning (or, to be more accurate, the same morning — I’m a certified night owl). It’s definitely a “Honey, you’ve got a big storm coming” moment.

 

It would probably be best for me to get the day started after five to 10 minutes of being awake, especially when there’s so much to do. But I stay snuggled under the covers, having a staring match with an expanse of white blanket hovering above me . . . and I stop thinking.

 

I stop thinking about what I have to do.

 

What does that do for me?

 

It helps reset my mind. (As I mentioned, my dreams are unfortunately haunted by my life obligations, so sleep doesn’t do this for me.)

 

What do I get out of this?

 

A few minutes into not thinking, I let my mind drift to possible scenarios that could unfold during my day. Not what could go wrong, but nice things that might happen.

 

I imagine things like snacking on a free scone behind the cafe counter, a friend laughing at a joke I make on the way to class or feeling relieved for answering every question at the end of my exam. 

 

When these scenarios play out in my head, my lips curl into a genuine grin and my heart fills with warmth, anticipation and excitement. By the time my second alarm goes off, I’m ready.

 

I’m ready because now, I’m looking forward to these little moments that will get me through the day.

 

I’m ready because even if only one positive thing happens, I’ll notice and make the most of it. People say it’s bad to have your head in the clouds all the time, but if I let it happen for just a few minutes, I imagine moments I can find joy in. Now I have focused my mind to pay attention to the little things, be it a smile from a customer or the warmth of the sun on my skin. 

 

Even if things don’t go perfectly, there’ll be something to be happy about. I know it’ll be okay.

 

Now I press play, and my day begins.

 

Time is money, but life is too short for us to forget we’re only human. Before the day begins, you might want to pause and breathe, even if just for a while. Imagine all these moments, no matter how small, that you can find joy in during your day, and start your day with a fresh, optimistic mind. I hope you find this just as rewarding as I do.

 

What joyful moments have you experienced recently? Let us know in the comments below, or weave it into a dialogue with other positive folks on the Low Entropy community platform! 

Stay-at-Home Schooling

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While educational institutions adapted their curriculums to a pandemic reality, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Jihu Lee took some valuable lessons from isolation itself.

 

The world of education during the coronavirus pandemic has shifted impressively to compensate for the loss of conventional learning opportunities. My younger sister, Brooklyn, spent fourth grade fully online. Not surprisingly, there is a growing concern about the impact of increased screen time on the neurological progress of youth around Brooklyn’s age who are still climbing the peak of their developmental stage. My parents themselves have been stressed over Brooklyn’s lengthened time spent on her computer. Meanwhile, I experienced my first year of college online in my home state of Utah. No matter what demographic of students we belong in, I believe we can collectively agree that a pandemic-restricted environment is not conducive to learning. I would like to offer my insight on education during COVID-19 from the standpoint of a college student. 

 

After graduating high school in 2019, I took a gap year to work and travel. By March 2020, our lives detoured in an unexpected direction when COVID-19 began accelerating in the United States. Even still, most of us, if not all, were under the impression that the pandemic would be over by the end of summer 2020. Evidently, that has not been the case. When USC began sending mixed messages regarding plans for a “return” to campus, our unease soared while our hopes and expectations faltered. I tried to keep myself excited about meeting my professors and taking classes that caught my interest. 

 

Now, as I write this, it is June 2021. It is incredibly challenging to accurately put into words what this year had brought for me. As a first-year college student, I was looking forward to taking flight from under my parents’ roof and experience my independence away from home. I wanted to meet a highly diverse student body and share stories with those vastly different from me. So many “should have”s and “could have”s. I have also felt ashamed of the feeling that I was victimizing myself, which fanned the flames of my doubts regarding my level of productivity. But through it all, I learned to regulate my emotions and discipline to feel my best, even if that meant finding a new version of myself to be comfortable with. 

 

This was not the college experience anyone would ever aspire to have, but the growth that took place in me is immeasurable. One particular idea became especially clear: education is far more than sitting in our academic classes. Spending an uncomfortable amount of time by myself has induced four main points of development: 

 

  1. The mortifying ordeal of knowing yourself and its rewards: To improve as a person, we need to know what we lack. Whether that means seeking help to resolve unprocessed trauma or trying to reconnect with our parents, we have to undergo the rite of painful discomfort to bloom again. There is nothing like a pandemic that would force me to be alone more than usual, and it has made me look into who I am, what I need and what I want to change. 

 

  1. Boosting self-discipline and becoming your own cheerleader: The person who is responsible for sending that email or finishing that assignment now instead of three hours later is me. Moreover, when our accomplishments go unnoticed, we reserve the right to acknowledge them and feel proud of ourselves. After all, external noise comes in all forms– validation, disapproval, underestimation – but I have the power to consistently root for myself. 

 

  1. Perspective: I struggle with holding space for my own feelings because I don’t consider them as important as others’ situations around the world. But the knowledge that others “have it worse” should allow us to heighten awareness and empathy rather than invalidate our own experiences. The pandemic has taught me that kindness towards myself not only strengthens me, but also makes me a better empath! We don’t rise by bringing down others, and I seem to have learned that bringing ourselves down doesn’t uplift others the way we think it does either.

 

  1. Realizing how capable you are: Whether you powered through an entire day with your energy at 100% or finished one assignment because of a raging headache, your worth and abilities never wavered and never will. The perfect human condition may not exist, but we don’t need it to prove to ourselves that we are strong. If you fall, it’s okay to crawl for a bit of the way, as long as you rise again. 

 

This is what education was for me during COVID-19. Of course, academics are highly important to me, but there is significant value in what school doesn’t teach us that we can learn for ourselves. My take on education during COVID-19 is less about how to make academics worthwhile on Zoom, but what else we were able to learn about ourselves during such an uncertain period of our lives. We do not have to feel obligated to find a silver lining in every painful lesson of our lives, but I truly believe that we deserve to give ourselves credit where it is more than due.

 

What have you learned during this trying time? Let us know in the comments below or on any of our social media channels!

On Fear and Happiness

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Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Kat Z starts with questions about leadership, and arrives at a galvanizing answer about self-respect.

 

To rule with fear or respect – it’s a question that distinguishes different types of leaders. Which is truly more effective in the eyes of the amassed crowd? How does a single person grasp the spirit of the people in a way that produces a productive result? Leadership involves maintaining a grip on the reins of the herd, but what, really, is the right way of doing this?

 

Every person responds to people in positions of power differently. Some find a threatening stature to be the most impactful, and are motivated by avoiding the dangers of failure. Others require a kind, supporting figure to succeed. They enjoy life led towards prosperity with a gentle hand.

 

You can notice these various styles of leadership in every political figure. There are democratic candidates: those who must vie for the admiration of the public in order to be elected. Alternatively, there are dictators. Dictators, or any other tyrannical leader, feed off the fear of their people to remain in power.

 

In some ways, using fear as a motivator can be very effective. After all, fear is a primary driver for human adaptation and survival. But there is also a high cost: a greatly decreased quality of life. Consistently using extreme measures to push yourself to your limit is an incredibly taxing and tiring method. To put it in a wider view, very few countries have found lasting success using this method. An autocratic country with content citizens is not far off from an oxymoron. They’re also rarely economically profitable. An afraid and unhappy population does not produce the greatest quality, or quantity, of work. Fear is a method designed to defeat the strongest of us.

 

This doesn’t only ring true in politics. This rule can be applied to any single person’s communication style. And it can be seen in how we respond to different people. 

 

Most importantly, it can be seen in how we treat ourselves.

 

We aren’t just born this way, as some may lead you to believe. We are taught how to handle ourselves by witnessing the influential people in our lives. Whether they be our parents, siblings, grandparents or someone unrelated to us, their actions will be reflected in ours. We, as the next generation, will then go on to influence our children.

 

If we rely on fear, the parasitic pain that results is allowed to propagate. Then how can I possibly escape my own brain?

 

Your neurological system has been taught that fear is the best possible way of achieving success in life. It will never knowingly try to bring itself down, it’s just doing the best it can with the given circumstances.

 

The genetic staircase that brings about these views may seem insurmountable, but that is not the case. The importance of treating yourself gently can be learnt with time and patience. However, in order to rewire your brain, you must first be aware of how negative treatment came about as the default. To effectively move on, we must look back and reflect on the past. Thoroughly processing the details of your upbringing can be an incredibly harrowing experience, but the only way to properly treat an infection is to first release the pus that hides the wound.

 

Humans as a group have an intense need to constantly evolve. We have a drive like no other to be the most improved versions of ourselves. It can be easily forgotten that we still have some of those same primal instincts from when our ancestors lived in comparatively underdeveloped conditions. Our minds and abilities have come incredibly far, yet we still cannot seem to grasp our final existential goal. Many people think that it is tangible success, whether it involves making the most money or having the most things, though this isn’t the case. You can endlessly improve the standard of the objects around you, but a lot of the time, this will only decrease your quality of your life. 

 

In reality, the most highly evolved goal is to be able to do things purely out of enjoyment. There are entire industries that exist because of the happiness these products bring to people, whether it aids their survival or not. This is, admittedly, a problematic concept, as there are vast numbers of people all over the world who still have to worry about their most basic needs. But it does prove that the human race isn’t only a race to the finish line; it also involves appreciating what you have, when you have it.

 

This means allowing yourself to simply live life. To abandon all unnecessary stress and to remember that, in order to demand respect from others, you have to first demand it from yourself.

 

Power produced from your own pain is not power in itself, but abuse. You deserve to be happy, you deserve to believe that you can live a life that isn’t ruled by fear.

 

Each person is the sole leader of themselves, so it can’t be forgotten that the journey to a fulfilling life begins with the proper, respectful treatment of you.

Treat yourself! What makes you happy? Let us know on any of our social media channels, in the comments below or in person at a Conscious Connections meeting!

Disconnect to Connect: Rediscover Emotional Connection

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Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Ava Sandler reminds us of the importance of connecting with the physical communities and environments that exist outside of our digital screens.

 

In an age of increasing technological prevalence, isolation and superficial connection prevail. I recently read Kazuo Ishiguro’s novel Klara and the Sun, and I found it to be a beautiful exploration of love and loneliness, and authenticity and superficiality, amid striking technological advancement. Throughout the novel, undercurrents of darkness and subversion permeate its core as Ishiguro quietly observes the importance of human connection and compassion. Although he allows both the human and the artificial intelligence narratives to flourish, gentle understanding seeping into the depths of each character, he carefully accentuates the unparalleled and inimitable nature of the human condition through his exploration of technology’s offerings: both its astounding contributions and its grave limits. But most compelling is Ishiguro’s consideration of our primal return to nature and human connection for 

our ultimate survival, despite our psychological dependency on and fascination with technology. 

 

Our desire for technology to satisfy our need for connection and inclusion is reflected in our online presence. As shallow interactions flourish amid a depthless sea of faceless icons, emotional connection wanes. I recently read an article that meditates on this very concern, wherein the writer asks, “Do we want to go deep or wide?” Although our ever-growing networks have allowed us to connect with more communities than we ever thought possible, in one respect or another, we need to question the nature and sustainability of this connection and the degree of profundity and sincerity it can offer. 

 

I had initially intended to discuss statistical studies throughout this article, but I find reminiscences a more embraceable and inviting approach. For several years now I’ve casually observed and explored the impact of our online activity on emotional connection. Although I’ve read countless studies, my most critical period of contemplation arrived through an in-person interaction with my peers. A vague and faraway memory though it is, my mind continues to revisit this noontime recollection.

 

I and two of my close friends had just arrived at our usual lunchtime destination, and we were settling in to hungrily consume our cold sandwiches. By way of habit, one of my friends escaped into her phone, once more immersed in the lives of distant friends. Jokingly, my other friend and I stole one half of her sandwich, hoping to draw her attention back to our conversation. But our friend remained ignorant of our feeble attempts to reawaken her mind to our presence. In the moment, I felt only anger and frustration at her inattention and indifference to our tangible company. But years later, these feelings have dissipated to be replaced by realization: My friend was slipping further and further away, into a place—a mentality—I could not reach. 

 

Although my other friend and I masked our behaviour as a mere joke, a display of comical mockery at the predictability of our friend, it was more deeply a desperate attempt to reconnect emotionally with her. Despite her physical presence, her mind was elsewhere, longing for a taste of the thrill, the stimulation, that her cellular device unfailingly offered and her two tangible friends could not likewise simulate. Although such stimulation was in part fuelled by the psychological rewards of the platforms our friend frequented (the “likes,” the comments)—and the platforms I and my other friend were also connected to at the time—she was most attracted to the ever-expanding network of peers the platforms allowed her to curate, and the superficial popularity she thus received. As our friend drifted further away, it became clear to my other friend and me that no matter the years we’ve spent together, we could not fulfil this artificial desire for the inclusion and sense of connection that her online presence received. 

 

The other day I approached my friend (whom I’ve been referring to as the “other friend”) about this recollection, and invited her opinion on the matter. What struck me most powerfully about our conversation was the indelible impression this incident had made on her. Despite its seemingly trivial and colourless nature, she too remembered it vividly. In fact, we both remarked on how it haunts our memory. But why this specific memory? I’ve come to find that it not only invokes past emotions of longing and loss, but embodies the heavy consequences that have begun, and will continue, to accompany this fresh age of technological connection and dependence. 

 

Although our technological advancements have introduced us to a fantastical realm of astonishing, unparalleled potential, we need to recognize and embrace the tangible in order to rediscover one another and the natural world. We no longer control our technological innovations; the power they possess prevails over the human condition. I visualize a boundless bubble shrouding Earth, invisible to its inhabitants, but a string-master, casting a possessive, elusive and ever-present influence as it guides its puppets. To regain a sense of meaningful and impactful connection and community, we must disconnect and surrender ourselves to the unruly and unpredictable, to nature and physical presence.

 

How many sandwiches do you figure you could steal from people who are engrossed in their phones on any given day? Half a dozen? More? Let us know in the comments below or on any of our social media channels . . . and then hang out with some friends in person!

There’s Something About Empathy

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How do sympathy, compassion and empathy compare? Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Christie Gan gives us a primer on these essential interpersonal concepts.

 

Sympathy is the ability to feel pity and sorrow for someone else’s troubles. Meanwhile, compassion is the ability to feel sympathy for someone to a point where you want to help them. On the other hand, empathy is the ability to understand and experience someone else’s feelings.

 

So logically, if you feel sympathy for someone, and then you feel compassionate enough to help them, shouldn’t that solve their problems? Why would you even need to show empathy to them?

 

Well, sympathy shows an awareness of someone else’s troubles, while compassion shows a willingness to help that person with their troubles on top of an awareness of them. However, empathy isn’t about feeling sorry for someone. Empathy is about sharing and validating someone’s feelings and thinking of solutions based on a deep understanding of what it’s like to be in their shoes. This, in turn, provides them a deeper understanding of themselves and motivates them to take their own action in relieving their misfortunes. 

 

Based on my own experiences, I’ve ranked sympathy, compassion and empathy on a scale of helpfulness from level 1 (least helpful) to level 3 (most helpful):

 

Level 1: Sympathy

 

A few months ago, I was set to fly back to Vancouver to finish my final semester of university. I’d shown my negative COVID-19 test results to an attendant at check-in and boarded a flight to Tokyo. I would have been able to board my transfer flight to Vancouver, if not for them deeming my COVID-19 test invalid from being done a few hours earlier than Tokyo’s new cut-off time. I had no choice but to take a flight back home, where I would have to be quarantined in a hotel for 21 days. 

 

While I was in despair about putting up with long-distance learning for even longer than I already had and paying out of pocket for the hotel, a flight attendant in Tokyo asked me what I intended to fly to Vancouver for. I’d told her it was to study, and with a pitiful expression, she replied: 

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

I’m sure she hadn’t meant to make me feel worse, but those two words amplified the severity of the situation and made me shift all the blame onto myself. Thinking back to this always reminds me that telling someone I’m sorry they’re going through something won’t necessarily make them feel better—something I’m glad I’ve gained from the experience.

 

Level 2: Compassion

 

Given that I was a student traveling on my own with a ludicrous amount of luggage, the airline in my hometown felt so sorry for me that they decided to help me. To my immense relief, they booked me a new COVID-19 test and put me on their next available direct flight to Vancouver for free. I definitely hadn’t felt completely heard and understood—especially not when I was even mistaken to not be a resident of my own hometown! Nonetheless, I was certainly grateful that they got me to where I needed to be. At the very least, they showed that they did genuinely care that I was affected by taking exceptional action to help me.

 

Level 3: Empathy

 

Last year, a dear friend of mine was seriously struggling with her studies. She was completely burned out in her medicine program. Even picking up a pen proved difficult to her, and she’d lost her appetite completely. Her motivation and mental health were at rock bottom.

 

I’d listened to her telling me, “I just feel so lost. I don’t know why doing even the simplest things is so hard these days. Am I making my problems up in my head? What if I’m just being lazy?” In return, I’d said, “It makes sense that things are difficult right now. You’re taking a very stressful program; you’ve told me about having to memorize six entire textbooks’ worth of content for an exam for a single subject, which is no easy feat. I know you’ve been trying your best and working super hard, and it’s normal to need a break. You’re only human.” 

 

I’d suggested a counselling session, she’d booked an appointment, and I’d offered to accompany her. During the session, I patted her shoulder as she cried, took notes, then reorganized these notes on a digital document that I sent to her afterwards. Afterwards, she sent me a text:

 

Thank you so much. I feel a lot better now. I’m going to sit down and figure out what’s best for me, like you and the counsellor said to.

 

It made my day to know that I not only made her feel better, but proposed a solution that inspired her to take action for herself. Ultimately, empathy goes a long way because it doesn’t only make whoever you show it to feel heard—it empowers them too. Yes, it’s useful to sympathize and even better to show compassion, but empathy involves taking compassion to the next level. Mastering empathy and maintaining my ability to be good at it are goals that I never let out of mind or sight, because I believe empathy is the key to reducing entropy—a state of disorder, as we say—in society. 

Empathy is certainly helpful, but it can be emotionally taxing as well. How do you balance sympathy, compassion and empathy? Let us know in the comments below, or start up a discussion on our community site!

Empathy: The Essentials of Emotional Engagement

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Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Grace Cheng offers a primer on empathy – what it is, why it’s important and how to cultivate it.

 

To me, empathy is the ability to emotionally understand what others are feeling, seeing things from their points of view and putting yourself in their situations. Empathy is one of the building blocks of a healthy relationship. Like other life skills, empathy can be learned and developed. Having the ability to be more empathetic can benefit our lives in many areas. We are able to connect with and understand our spouses, friends, families, coworkers and even strangers at a much higher level when we master how to be more empathetic.

 

Empathy is a powerful tool that helps maintain social order and cooperation. It allows people to understand and relate to others. Empathy can be used to build intimacy, trust and belonging with people. It is also the feeling that makes it hard to see others suffer.

 

Empathy often encourages self-sacrificing behaviors, and empathy-based kindness has been shown to increase cooperation and forgiveness, form stronger relationships, decrease aggression and judgment, and improve our mental and physical health.

 

You can tell if someone is an empathetic person by observing the following behaviours:

 

  • They are good at listening to what others are saying.
  • People are sharing their problems and expressing their feelings with them.
  • They are good at understanding how other people are feeling.
  • They often think about how other people feel.
  • Other people go to them to seek advice.
  • They often feel overwhelmed by tragic news and events.
  • They offer to help others when they are suffering.
  • They deeply care about others.

 

Here are some tips to become more empathetic:

 

1. Make listening to a top priority

 

Listening is particularly important because most of us speak much more than we listen. Empathy starts when you intentionally listen for emotions, so try to pay close attention to the signals people are giving out, because they can indicate what people are feeling. Before you connect with what others are feeling, you must recognize their emotional expressions. Active listening can strengthen your understanding in being more empathetic.

 

The following are steps to becoming a better listener: 

 

  1. Give your undivided attention to conversations: This means not using smartphones, tablets, or laptops when people are speaking. It means actively listening to what they have to say and making eye contact with them. 
  2. Let the other person speak: This means giving them time to finish what they have to say and not interrupting their conversations.
  3. Summarize your understanding back to the other person: Once the other person has finished talking, summarize your understanding back to them and verify whether you understood what they were trying to say.
  4. Ask the other person some insightful and relevant questions: Use your curiosity and ask nonjudgmental questions to better understand their perspectives, thoughts and feelings.
  5. Allow the other person to express their emotions: Let them talk from their heart and share exactly how they feel. This can often give them insights and help them discover their own solutions. 

 

2. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes

 

It is quite easy for all of us to comment on and judge others. Some of us have undoubtedly accused others of overreacting, or told someone, “I don’t understand why you are so upset.” However, if you put yourself in their shoes then maybe you would be able to understand their pain and suffering. Once you do that, you can start to experience the emotions that they are going through and understand things from their point of view.  This would allow you to better connect with them.

 

3. Express your care and concern to others

 

When people tell you their problems, chances are that they do not feel well and want your emotional support. This is the time to show your care and concern for them by asking, “How are you feeling?” or “Is there anything I can do for you?” If you know each other well, you can offer to talk to them on the phone or meet up with them, which can make a tremendous difference. If you are both comfortable with it, you can give them a big hug to show that you care.

 

4. Acknowledge the other person’s feelings

 

One of the biggest issues in communication is that most people do not acknowledge the other person’s feelings. Acknowledging is a way to communicate that you understand how the other person is feeling. You can acknowledge their feelings by simply saying, “I am so sorry to hear that,” or “I can hear your pain.”

 

5. Make yourself vulnerable to others

 

When you allow yourself to be vulnerable to others by getting into the other person’s emotions, it can enrich your relationships and form deeper connections. When you share your experiences of emotions such as anger, anxiety, shame and sadness, you can open opportunities for others to empathize with you.

 

Being vulnerable can build up your empathy by allowing you to feel the value of empathy through reflection. This can increase your commitment to being more empathetic to others. You can gain more confidence and comfort in navigating hard emotions during conversations with others.

 

6. Take action and offer your help to others

 

Having empathy involves adopting the emotions of others, but not their external  situations. Knowing what the other person is going through can help you better identify their needs. If you are able to do so, offering to help others can make a big difference. This puts empathy into action and helps to maximize well-being.

 

7. Show your emotional support to others

 

Most importantly, for empathy to be effective, you need to show emotional support to people. This means giving them your trust and affirmation, as well as encouraging them. You should let them know that, no matter what happens, you will always support them. Sometimes what people are looking for are not your solutions, but your empathy and support.

 

Our world can certainly benefit from having more empathy for others. By learning how to become more empathetic, you can make a difference by creating peace and harmony in our world. So the next time you see someone having a hard time, make sure you listen and share, and identify what you can do to help them.

 

Was there a time when someone else’s empathy helped you? Tell us your stories in the comments below, or in person at a Conscious Connections meeting!

Choose Kindness

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From Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Ellie Gibbard.

As the world continues to go through devastation and grief, I think that we need to keep reminding ourselves of the phrase “in a world where you can be anything, be kind.”

This week I connected with a young woman in one of my online summer classes who moved to Canada from India three years ago. Seeing her pop up in one of my breakout rooms this week reminded me that her family and friends are still living in India. I decided to reach out and ask her how she was doing with all of the tragic COVID-19 deaths that are occurring there. Her response was heartbreaking – and not just because of what her family is experiencing.

Much of her family have/had COVID-19, including her parents, and some of her close friends are in critical condition. The loss she had experienced was overwhelming. She found it hard to put the helplessness and grief she was feeling into words. Hearing this was hard, but somehow still not the worst part about what she had to say. She said that the messages and words she had received from the non-Indian people in her community had been of blame, hate and disrespect. In response to a “pray for India” post, she received messages like, “Why would we pray for you when you probably didn’t pray for other countries when they suffered?” Others remarked that it was India’s fault and that the country deserved what was happening.

Millions of people are dying. When someone is experiencing loss of any kind, the first response should not be to search for and place blame. Knowing that someone is going through something of this level of tragedy gives us an opportunity to support them and love them, not to tell them that their country asked for it.

As many tragic and devastating events continue to ruthlessly take place around the world, we are provided with opportunities to spread love, or place blame and spread hate. When these opportunities arise, choose to spread kindness and love into people’s lives. Staying educated on why certain things are happening is important, but we can do that while still being kind and supportive.

Choose to spread love, choose to be supportive, choose to be kind.

I Made a Mistake

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Admitting your mistakes can be a very difficult thing. It’s even harder to turn those moments into character-building opportunities. Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Tricia Keith shows us how both can be done.

In a world that seems ready to tell me that I have made an error, that I am wrong, that I am mistaken and, therefore, unlovable . . . wait a minute, what world is this? . . . It’s the one that I have been living in, after making a big mistake.

The size of this mistake is relative to the trust between me and another. I would call it a big mistake if it’s going to tarnish that trust, and it likely will. Now what do I do?

Avoid my mistake, and in fact, that person? A fairly easy job to do, from the outside, given that my connections to this person are not in-person. But my conscience is; my conscience is my inner person.

My fearful thinking tells me that if I cough up my truth, it will badly damage my relationship to this person and maybe more. My first response is to retract into myself and hide.

I expect fear to rescue me, and fear expects to be the hero in this mind game. Dig a hole. Hide out until the situation passes over and disappears, deep into an archive of emails. Yah, right, OK. Got it. But after two sleepless days with a tight chest and anxious, recursive thoughts, I realize that fear is not going to free me.

Thankfully, I have two trusted allies, and more thankfully, they received my story with non-judgmental listening; they agreed that it was a mistake, that I was in the wrong, but also that I was not unworthy of their love. That’s really the bottom line. I was not unworthy of their love.

The question then became, could I BE that for myself?

Suddenly, two lines of self-narrative began to emerge: my faulty judgment that initiated the mistake, and my growing capacity to love myself enough to be present and admit my mistake, no matter the consequences.

Without meaning to or preaching at me, my two allies (my husband and my sister) showed me that I could grow from my mistake by being honest. Where fear wanted to keep me in the dark, self-love gave me the courage to be present, in full lighting.

This situation of discovering my mistake, and that it was public, felt like a bomb going off inside me, though it is really inconsequential in the greater scheme of things. Away from the office bubble that I work within, I am encouraged by the heroes and sheroes who stand up for their truths everyday in the face of discrimination, oppression and violence. As a white, cis-gender woman, I know that I am privileged because I can assume a centered position within the scheme of structural racism and oppression.

In order to begin unlocking the interlocking chains of colonial history, I endeavor to develop my capacity to admit my mistakes. Microaggressions that I am conditioned to overlook, I need not to see with fearful eyes, but with self-love, in order to process the chain of events and not pass them on to my children.

The Low Entropy community is a group of non-judgmental, empathetic individuals who are committed to ensuring that people feel loved, no matter what kind of mistakes they’ve made. Interact with us in the comments below, on our social media channels or in-person at a Conscious Connections meeting!

Without Villains

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It’s natural to conclude that some people are bad based on negative behaviour. Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Hayley Chan, however, asks us to think more deeply about the world, toward an appreciation of the contextual complexities that humanize us.

 

My mom was telling me about a conflict she was having with one of her friends.

 

She was upset because this friend – let’s call her Emily – basically accused my mom of excluding and using her.

 

What was most upsetting for her was that Emily didn’t use much introspection when coming to this conclusion.

 

One misunderstanding completely painted my mom as a bad friend in Emily’s eyes. In this scenario, it could be said that Emily was a bad person because she didn’t see things from my mom’s point of view, and didn’t try to do so before sending a vindictive email.

 

But with a little bit of empathy, my mom was able to understand why Emily was acting like this. She took the time to see things from Emily’s point of view – to understand that she knows this person has trust issues and is easily insecure in her relationships. This was possibly because of her distant relationship with her mother, who was cold and unkind.

 

Maybe those insights were just guesses and are not correlated to Emily’s behaviour. But what counts is the effort made to understand; My mom had empathy for someone who characterized her as a bad friend and person – something she is not – even though she wasn’t given the same courtesy.

 

As explained in attribution theory, when someone does something wrong, it’s easy for others to attribute those actions strictly to the person they are. On the flip side, when we do something wrong, it’s easy for us to attribute it to external circumstances.

 

The saying “Treat others how you’d want to be treated” is relevant here in terms of questioning whether empathy is the key to ending the good guys vs bad guys mentality, and I believe it is – especially in a society where “cancel culture” is a habitual response. When people make insensitive comments, whether they be racially insensitive, emotionally insensitive, etc. their entire character is not just questioned, but assumed to be entirely immoral. People often rush to these conclusions and then boom – you’re banished from the good graces of Instagram.

 

And ironically, one of the things a lot of people try to promote on social media is self-love, forgiveness and growth. Although these messages are often supportive and positive, when someone does something “wrong,” these same people preaching positivity and growth aren’t giving the same encouragement to those ousted by society for making a not-so-conscientious comment.

 

Maybe if we refocus our energy on trying to understand others and where they’re coming from, we’ll be able to see the words and actions of others more clearly, rather than deeming them strictly good or bad.

 

It seems like it would just be easier to be more understanding to ourselves and others. However, I can understand why most people talk the talk about empathy and kindness without following through. Empathy is not always easy. Taking the time to understand others is probably the hardest part of taking an empathetic response to a problematic situation. It’s so easy to see things through your own perspective because it’s a daily habit. For example, if your friend is talking to you about their partner who is not a great verbal communicator, and you have just come out of a bad relationship with someone who lied to you constantly, are you likely to first acknowledge the fact that their partner is probably busy with school or work and shows affection with quality time? Or is the first thought that comes to mind more likely to resonate with the fact that most people cannot be trusted and if they seem like liars from one observation, they probably are? 

 

How often do we first see things from a different perspective than our own?

 

Some people may be more naturally empathetic than others, but it is not necessarily a subconscious decision to think critically about the behaviours of others. Like any good habit, you must put in the work to ingrain it into your mental library of routines. And with practice, it gets easier to instinctively pull that habit from the shelf.

 

I think empathy can end the good guys vs bad guys mentality, but empathy, putting yourself in someone’s shoes, is not always a natural instinct, and that’s okay. It doesn’t make you a bad person. It doesn’t make Emily, my mom’s friend, a bad person for not being able to practice empathy in the scenario I described. And it doesn’t make people on social media bad people for preaching more about forgiveness and growth than walking the walk. Practising empathy is a skill, and when learned and executed, can help us differentiate between a bad action and a bad person.

Can you recall a time when you were able to understand someone who hurt you? Tell us your story in the comments below or join our live discussions in a Conscious Connections meeting!

Epic Empathy

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Critical hits, rolling for initiative, blundering botches and total party kills . . . it’s all super fun, nerdy stuff. But empathy? In Dungeons & Dragons? Low Entropy Volunteer Writer James Phan explains how connecting with others’ emotions is actually one of the keys to a truly epic campaign.

 

As you’re drawn into a story, raw feelings are no coincidence. Emotions are the stuff that connects us to the world and makes for powerful storytelling. To demonstrate this, we could break down emotional story elements in a novel, but here’s a plot twist: we’re rolling for dungeons and dragons.

 

If we are to explore the power of empathy in storytelling, Dungeons & Dragons (or “DnD,” for short) is a surprisingly authentic platform to learn about the subject. Even though books have long been the standard medium of storytelling, and while DnD is a much younger, niche medium, the game shares with books many elements involving immersive story experiences.

 

Getting Familiar with The Game

 

Rowan Yates from Victoria, BC, an expert host for DnD with 15 years of experience, helped me understand the basics of the game. Briefly speaking, the heavily imaginative game usually involves three to seven players who play as a team of characters and one dungeon master (or “DM”), the assigned creator of a given fantasy world with a unique nature that governs it. The DM facilitates the story’s progression. Win conditions vary and are decided by the DMs, but “winning” is extremely subjective. For Rowan, who works at the Victoria Disability Resource Centre, partners with AIDS Vancouver Island to co-facilitate Queerabilities Victoria and spends his free time as a fierce warrior who whets his battle spirit in a modern medieval fighting sport known as buhurt, a DnD win isn’t as much about the results as it is about the players having fun. It could be about battling a dragon, finding treasure or yammering at a tavern for three hours.

 

Onwards! A Unique Storyteller

 

What’s unique about the narrative gameplay of DnD is its candidness as the story unfolds. Events evoke emotional responses almost immediately. A player may sense her character’s life threatened, and her response will shape the next event. At times, the story can have messy moments, like behind-the-scenes footage in movies, due to the game’s nature to incentivize player creativity. Players can fall out of character and revise their talents, or the DM might commit a story blooper and improvise a narrative on that. A novel can tell the same story across the general public, but DnD personalizes its story only to the handful of players, with the story material dependent on the unique personalities in the team. Unlike books, the game seals no fate; the story is fluid and ever-changing. 

 

Onwards! A Sense of Community

 

Once in the game, DnD is storytelling from the heart, with empathy at its core. The setting is revealed, and the conflict is foretold. Danger is afoot. How will the heroes proceed? An introduction haunted by uncertainty and inevitability is a construct in many fictional works. In a book, readers at this discovery stage may or may not begin to empathize with the protagonist, but in DnD’s narrative, the audience members are also the main characters, immersed in a shared, empathetic experience. 

 

As cooperative storytelling, players shape the nature of their teamwork against imminent threats. There’s a sense of shared responsibility, shared excitement for risk and reward, and a common feeling of novelty. Through the forming of a shared DnD story, group members develop empathy with each other. In the real world, a companionate work culture promotes empathy, which improves teamwork and business proficiency. A good DnD story, similarly, improves teamwork that, in turn, feeds back into the story.

Onwards! Individual Revelations

 

In a novel, readers may or may not become more accepting of flaws in a protagonist, while in DnD, acceptance of imperfection is strongly encouraged among the players. Teammates must accept the characteristics of their own alter ego (characters have qualities that are not in their player’s control), but also of the behaviour, temperaments and other nuances of their team members. In a way, this is similar to empathic training, where subjects are encouraged to participate in activities outside of their identity, such as acting or reading fiction. Being in the shoes of others can expand one’s perception, emotionally and intellectually.

 

A player’s chosen character can also reflect suppressed thoughts or personality. By being another identity, the individual has the opportunity to explore unknown desires and values. Throughout the game, the player can become more comfortable with their character development, which can progress to self-empathy. DnD provides a safe platform for this kind of experiential discovery, which can be limited or inaccessible outside of its realm.

 

Aaand Onwards! Narrative Leadership

 

Rowan and other DMs rely on empathy to facilitate their games. They heed their players’ emotional and physical cues to decide what happens next, including when and how to introduce story material to keep everyone engaged. Even before the story begins, a good DM should have a keen idea of who the players are in order to understand what mechanics, themes and play style might work for the group. In 2009, Google wanted to improve managerial performance in research called Project Oxygen. The research team found that the best managers were those who spent time with their team, giving one-on-one attention, providing goal clarity and caring about individual desires and values. Great DMs are like these effective managers, attentive to the players so that the narrative resonates with personalized meaning.

 

Halt! The Conclusion

 

Think of DnD like an open book for a party to colour into, while everyone flips the pages together. If someone has a funny moment, everyone is sharing laughter. If there’s a struggle, everyone feels the heat. If mistakes are made, DnD’s improvisational roleplaying makes imperfection okay, and empathy seeds forgiveness. The story is built with empathy and without it, there is no onwards.

 

Whether or not you’re a fan of DnD, it’s safe to assume that we all lose ourselves in a moment of good storytelling. There’s something to learn and something to gain, and – like in Dungeons & Dragons – the journey is about learning along the way. Empathy is a powerful conduit in all storytelling, as it bridges our sense of connection outside of our own worlds.  

 

What ho! I beseech thee, fly onwards again to our comments section or Instagram account or maybe a Conscious Connections meet-up, where we shall engage in mirthful discourse on the nature and value of empathy! Godspeed!

The 99%

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When it comes to culture, Anna Bernsteiner fears not the unknown. Instead, the Low Entropy volunteer writer encourages us to celebrate differences and embrace the unfamiliar.

 

I have traveled to cities I have never been to, that feel more like home than the place I grew up in. 

I have met people from totally different countries and continents, feeling like I have known them forever.  

 

Ever thought about the fact that you are a foreigner in about 99% of the world? You are familiar with the place(s) you grew up in, but the rest is new territory for you to explore. 

I have always enjoyed being a foreigner. Living somewhere where nobody knows me, exploring new lands, foods and cultures. Understanding what drives people on the other side of the world.

And yet in current times, it seems that we’ve become more reserved towards others. Building walls and fences, trying to stop immigration instead of encouraging it, and spreading hate in various ways. 

 

I have always wondered why. Why are humans constantly fighting against each other? Against people with different religions, different skin colors, different cultures? 

 

There is no simple answer, but what I have gathered so far is that people are scared of the new, different and unknown. They can’t control it. It’s nothing they grew up with. It’s scary. That’s why they fight it. Unfamiliar equals uncomfortable. 

 

This trend of working against each other rather than with each other is, in my eyes, the worst direction our society can go in.  

Judgement and hate will continue to grow and drive us apart, instead of making us understand and work together. And history has already shown us where this will eventually lead. 

 

What we actually need is to understand that, fundamentally, people are all the same. Doesn’t matter where you go or where you come from. 

There isn’t much difference between me and someone from India, Brazil, Canada, Chile, Thailand or South Africa. Chances are, we all want to be loved. We want the people we love to be okay. We want to be safe. We all want to have a good life

And yes, we might speak a different language, eat different food, dance to different songs, or wear different costumes, but at the end of the day, we are all the same. 

 

And still, racism is a huge problem. 

Because we can’t accept our differences and see our similarities. 

 

We need to be more open to experiencing new cultures, learning about what drives people somewhere far away from where we were born. 

That’s how we close the gap, how we start seeing similarities and how we understand. 

By getting out there, walking in someone else’s shoes for a while. Being more open-minded and remembering that borders are man-made lines. That’s all it is – a social construct. 

 

So instead of treating each other like we are from different worlds, we need to remember that we all live on the same planet. 

Let’s choose to see each other’s similarities and accept those differences. 

 

What lessons have you learned from a culture different from your own? Share your stories at a Low Entropy get-together or leave a quick comment below – we love to hear voices from all over the world!