Tag: connections

Festival Days

Posted on by andrew

Prateek Sur (he/him/his), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

In a fast-paced and growing Indian society, we are becoming more and more westernised. I am not saying that it’s a bad thing, but the influence has creeped in so much that there are certain things which we now prefer to do like the westerners do, and the generations to follow would never know that that particular thing was never a part of Indian culture and traditions. Amidst all the changes to our lives that we make in our quest to become more “modern,” there is one thing that we Indians have consistently cherished with all our heart: our festivals!

 

I remember vividly that, during my childhood in the small town of Jamshedpur, India, every festival used to be celebrated with full fervour. Whether it was Republic Day, Holi, Eid, Independence Day, Ganesh Puja, Paryushan, Durga Puja, Dussehra, Kali Puja, Diwali, Christmas or New Year’s Day, we used to celebrate it with a lot of zest and fun. But as you grow older, you start getting bowed down with the burdens of responsibilities and soon that youthful energy of childhood celebrations fades out.

 

But these last two years, with the pandemic setting in and people not being able to venture outdoors that much, families have been forced to spend these festivals together. This has sort of brought back the days gone past. An era, which had hardly been stepped on since the past decade and a half, has suddenly been lit up once again.

 

I have personally not been able to spend that much time with my family during the festivals, because being a writer and a journalist, you’re usually working on those festival days. However, the last year and a half of the pandemic has prompted people like me to work from home, and thereby be at least present for the festivals with family. Even though I did work this time as well, I was at least in front of my family, and that itself is enough for an Indian family. We cling to the slightest glimmer of hope of being able to spend some family time together.

 

Also, the festivals help people like me, who were born and brought up in smaller towns and are now living in the metro cities, to get back to their roots. Even though we are not always able to go back to our hometowns, we are at least able to celebrate the festivities in the same way that we used to in our small towns, and therefore get a taste of nostalgia for those few days. For example, being a Bengali who is mostly vegetarian, I love to crave and binge on non-vegetarian food during the 10-day festivities of the Durga Puja. Also, I try to get the delicacies from authentic restaurants that prepare Bengali cuisine. It helps me get in touch with my childhood days of being in Jamshedpur.

 

Another major aspect of the festivals is the traditional attire. I love to sport traditional outfits on festival days. It not only helps me rekindle the festival spirit, but also helps me tell friends in Mumbai about different stories associated with wearing traditional outfits during my childhood days in Jamshedpur. The memories get relieved every year while talking to friends, neighbours and others.

 

What I absolutely love about the city of Mumbai is that its cosmopolitan crowd enjoys and celebrates every festival. Whether you’re a Punjabi or you’re a Bengali or you’re a Tamilian or you’re Odia or you’re Kashmiri or you’re Keralite or you’re Assamese, you will end up seeing a bunch of people ready to celebrate the same festival that you wish to. And the spirit of Mumbai is such that people who don’t even know about a certain regional festival come together and try to join in the celebration with their friends and neighbours. It’s a joyous coming together of different cultures. A mix of the good things of each regional festival leaves a mark of its own, and people end up remembering the occasion for life.

 

Another great aspect of the Indian festivals is that they help you connect with your far-off relatives. As a custom every year, on the day of Dussehra or Vijay Dashami, which is the last day of Durga Puja, I call up all my relatives and wish them a happy year ahead. I don’t need to do it, but I have seen my parents do it every year during my childhood, and it’s a custom that I have also followed. I know I should call up my relatives more often, but in the rat race of Mumbai’s city life, you’re bound to not get enough time for keeping up relationships. But on this day of Vijay Dashami, every year, I call up all my relatives. It’s like spending an entire evening with them all and reliving past memories. It helps me get to know where they are in their respective lives, how they’re doing, and if everyone is doing well health-wise. It makes me relive the childhood moments that I may have spent with each one of them, and it gives me a chance to just peek into the past for an evening and before returning to the reality of the busy city life.

 

I know we can’t run the wheel of time backwards and get back the good old childhood days, but whenever I do need to lay a limpid glance on my growing up years, these festivals definitely help me take the necessary peek. It’s as if the festivals are the time machine, and I just need to hop on it to get back to the times when adulthood had not yet creeped in and you’re still surrounded by the joys and pleasures of being a kid without any of the worldly worries of life.

 

—

 

My name is Prateek Sur and I am a daydreamer by birth, a mechanical engineer by chance, and an idiot by choice. A hardcore movie buff, working as a film critic and enjoying life as a Bollywood reporter. Helping people get through career troubles and giving advice from personal experiences. A voracious reader, and a passionate singer at heart. An extrovert at heart, and an introvert in the mind. Well, that chaos is pretty much me!

L’Argent et L’Homme

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Ryan Haddad (he/him/his), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

One unavoidable facet of my personality concerns how little I enjoy discussing movies, even after I’ve thoroughly enjoyed watching them. When I happen to find myself in a position where I have to provide an opinion, I usually resort to shoulder-shrugs or general, too-vague-to-pin-down impressions. However, the same attitude can’t be applied when discussing Robert Bresson’s last film, L’Argent (“Money” in English), released in 1983.

 

Bresson was a widely influential French filmmaker who was adamant about creating the films he wanted to see. His vision was uniquely singular and his style was stripped to its essentials, revealing a neat, smooth skeleton rather than a fully fleshed-out organism with all its habitual faults and imperfections. No scene is wasted; no line is unimportant. The ultimate impression was the ultimate goal. As an audience member, you only saw what you needed to see. It’s because of this that his films resemble documentaries more than actual movies. The camera is unusually static, scenes linger, music is rarely used and actors feel rigid and unemotional, like mannequins. Bresson disliked and even actively avoided hiring professional actors for his films, relying mostly on unknowns to emphasize unknown stories.

 

But why mention the film now? Is there anything left to discuss? The story, for the most part, doesn’t follow a character, but rather an object. The film starts when a fraudulent 500-franc note is exchanged between two schoolmates as one of them attempts to buy a picture frame. We then follow the fake note as it switches hands and systematically affects the lives of all who touch it, ultimately landing in the hands of a truck driver who gets taken to court because of it. Now imprisoned and shunned by his family and peers, his life tumbles down a staircase of escalating violence and destruction. 

 

Besides the worthwhile commentary on capitalist greed and the modern human condition, one aspect of the story that personally interests me the most is the hidden (and ignored) impacts we have on the people around us that we probably never stop to think about. The type of responsibility this incurs is one we’ve rarely had to seriously consider in this day and age, but the pandemic has forced us to reconsider the connections we have with the countless strangers surrounding us.

 

Consider the film’s main character. He’s a truck driver who, in a chain reaction of hand-offs, receives the fake note as payment for his services from a shopkeeper. Upon confronting the shopkeeper with no way to legitimately prove his innocence, he gets taken to court, is tried, and falls down a rabbit hole of misfortune. As a viewer, there’s nothing you can glean about his character. The dialogue in the film is delivered in a straight-faced, monotone manner, with minimal emotional range on display. This all serves to intensify the opaque portrait of the truck driver. His gaze is impenetrable, his thinking unclear, his presence an uncertainty, and yet his fate feels curiously intertwined with our own. The entire film serves as an indirect statement about the responsibility with which every individual is burdened within a society. Whether they’re conscious or accepting of it is irrelevant; what matters is that it’s there, it’s real, and it’s something that can roar to life when we least expect it. The truck driver passes on his burden to the viewer, then the viewer to their peers, and so the responsibility grows.   

 

This concept of universal responsibility has become most apparent during the pandemic. The idea that a simple outing can set a chain reaction that affects countless others was previously unthinkable to such a degree. For me, I was able to reconsider the influence my life had on others. I used to fear getting involved with people for multiple reasons. I used to avoid it like the plague. Perhaps it was the responsibility that came with sharing space and the desire for capitalist satisfaction that put me off, even subconsciously, from meeting people’s eyes. But suddenly being forced indoors for the greater part of a year recalibrates your view on the connections you have, and the ones you are forced to consider. Our responsibility to others, the most radioactive thing about us that is simultaneously harmless, is something that binds us together. It’s an inescapable aspect of our existence that can take years to master, or else we run the line of abusing its power to benefit personal gain.

 

It’s human nature to internalize our struggles and seek personal satisfaction. The only difference nowadays is that life has gotten so hectic, so crowded and unpredictable that forgetting about the needs of others has become a relatively easy decision to make. However, certain events can force us to reconsider how desperately we need one another to survive. Something I often think about is the difference between humans and animals at birth. Largely speaking, animals are thrust into action at birth. It only takes a few seconds for a fawn to find its footing before its expedition begins. Humans, on the other hand, take years to rely on themselves instead of others. Our connections and responsibilities to one another form the building blocks of our species.

 

—

 

I’m a recent graduate of the Lebanese American University in Beirut. I will be pursuing graduate studies in London, Ontario this fall. I enjoy reading fiction and follow moose-related posts on Reddit.

Ours to Discover

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Human beings have created a multitudinous array of wonderful cultures. How could we not feel the rush of curiosity and adventure when we encounter the uniqueness of any of them? Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Alexandra Dadivas speaks on the beauty of embracing difference.

 

At present, there are almost eight billion people on Earth. all of whom are scattered throughout seven different continents and 195 countries. They are divided by race, religion, cultural background and experiences. With all of these qualities making us so different, one might start to wonder how any of us could come together when the world couldn’t put us further apart.

 

I was born and raised in a Roman Catholic family. Hence, the holidays were a big deal! We had seven-foot-tall trees sprinkled with countless decorations that matched the rest of the house, cookies and milk waiting for a very special guest and presents for everyone we knew, all in celebration of the birthday of our Jesus. For a long time, it was all I knew. What didn’t occur to me was that not everybody believed in the same things that I did. At school, those candy canes that my classmates handed out were merely in the spirit of the holidays, not because it held any spiritual value to them personally. I decided to accept it, for all that mattered was that everybody was celebrating Christmas, right?

 

When I was 10, I met one of my closest friends, Aaliyah. It was such a rare and exciting connection, because we were alike in almost every single way. When Christmastime came around, I noticed she wasn’t as enthusiastic as the rest of the class was. I asked her why, and she said she didn’t celebrate Christmas, at least not this one. With wide eyes, I wondered what she meant, and she explained that she was Muslim and that her religion, Islam, had their own holidays, such as Eid and Ramadan. As much as I was taken aback, I was fascinated. She was someone who didn’t share my Christmas, but had her own kind that she celebrated in other ways. This dissimilarity actually brought us even closer, for we were both eager to learn about each other’s religion and how we could include each other in it. We made a pact that on her holidays, she would give me presents, and on mine, I’d do the same. Of course, as children, that was our favorite part, but as we got older I realized how beautiful our friendship had grown to become because of this difference. Despite the fact that the joy came from different sources, we bonded even more over our love for each others’ religions.

 

As time goes on and I am exposed to an even wider variety of people, the same exhilarating feeling runs through me every time I discover someone who has a different cultural upbringing than me. Every person is an opportunity to learn more about what every corner of the world has to offer. Even my immediate friend group shows so much diversity. Of the six of us, one is Scottish, two are Indian, another is Mexican, Aaliyah is Arab, and I am Filipino. Everybody makes an effort to explore each other’s traditions and backgrounds, and though these efforts are small, whether it be trying a traditional food or just giving them holiday greetings, there are powerful meanings behind them. It says that we respect one another’s differences as much as we embrace them.

 

I firmly believe that having diversity in one’s social circle increases the likelihood of feeling that prejudice is wrong. Whenever I come across someone who is racist and assumes, for instance, that all Black people are violent, I speak up as loud as I can because I think of my African-American friends, who have been through so much discrimination and pain. I defend Aaliyah and her kind family when somebody shames them on their religion or their home country, Palestine. My friends show me the best parts of humans – the parts that I will always stand up for, no matter what.

 

Having connections with people from all over the world allows you to see past the negativity that society has pinned on them, to the beauty of it all. It increases your admiration, curiosity and overall respect for every race, religion and culture that makes up humanity. Friendship itself is already an incredible thing, but once you delve into everything that makes a person, it becomes so much more real, and yet more magical at the same time. 

Share your culture with the Low Entropy team at our community site, or in person at a Conscious Connections meet-up!

Empathy: The Essentials of Emotional Engagement

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Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Grace Cheng offers a primer on empathy – what it is, why it’s important and how to cultivate it.

 

To me, empathy is the ability to emotionally understand what others are feeling, seeing things from their points of view and putting yourself in their situations. Empathy is one of the building blocks of a healthy relationship. Like other life skills, empathy can be learned and developed. Having the ability to be more empathetic can benefit our lives in many areas. We are able to connect with and understand our spouses, friends, families, coworkers and even strangers at a much higher level when we master how to be more empathetic.

 

Empathy is a powerful tool that helps maintain social order and cooperation. It allows people to understand and relate to others. Empathy can be used to build intimacy, trust and belonging with people. It is also the feeling that makes it hard to see others suffer.

 

Empathy often encourages self-sacrificing behaviors, and empathy-based kindness has been shown to increase cooperation and forgiveness, form stronger relationships, decrease aggression and judgment, and improve our mental and physical health.

 

You can tell if someone is an empathetic person by observing the following behaviours:

 

  • They are good at listening to what others are saying.
  • People are sharing their problems and expressing their feelings with them.
  • They are good at understanding how other people are feeling.
  • They often think about how other people feel.
  • Other people go to them to seek advice.
  • They often feel overwhelmed by tragic news and events.
  • They offer to help others when they are suffering.
  • They deeply care about others.

 

Here are some tips to become more empathetic:

 

1. Make listening to a top priority

 

Listening is particularly important because most of us speak much more than we listen. Empathy starts when you intentionally listen for emotions, so try to pay close attention to the signals people are giving out, because they can indicate what people are feeling. Before you connect with what others are feeling, you must recognize their emotional expressions. Active listening can strengthen your understanding in being more empathetic.

 

The following are steps to becoming a better listener: 

 

  1. Give your undivided attention to conversations: This means not using smartphones, tablets, or laptops when people are speaking. It means actively listening to what they have to say and making eye contact with them. 
  2. Let the other person speak: This means giving them time to finish what they have to say and not interrupting their conversations.
  3. Summarize your understanding back to the other person: Once the other person has finished talking, summarize your understanding back to them and verify whether you understood what they were trying to say.
  4. Ask the other person some insightful and relevant questions: Use your curiosity and ask nonjudgmental questions to better understand their perspectives, thoughts and feelings.
  5. Allow the other person to express their emotions: Let them talk from their heart and share exactly how they feel. This can often give them insights and help them discover their own solutions. 

 

2. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes

 

It is quite easy for all of us to comment on and judge others. Some of us have undoubtedly accused others of overreacting, or told someone, “I don’t understand why you are so upset.” However, if you put yourself in their shoes then maybe you would be able to understand their pain and suffering. Once you do that, you can start to experience the emotions that they are going through and understand things from their point of view.  This would allow you to better connect with them.

 

3. Express your care and concern to others

 

When people tell you their problems, chances are that they do not feel well and want your emotional support. This is the time to show your care and concern for them by asking, “How are you feeling?” or “Is there anything I can do for you?” If you know each other well, you can offer to talk to them on the phone or meet up with them, which can make a tremendous difference. If you are both comfortable with it, you can give them a big hug to show that you care.

 

4. Acknowledge the other person’s feelings

 

One of the biggest issues in communication is that most people do not acknowledge the other person’s feelings. Acknowledging is a way to communicate that you understand how the other person is feeling. You can acknowledge their feelings by simply saying, “I am so sorry to hear that,” or “I can hear your pain.”

 

5. Make yourself vulnerable to others

 

When you allow yourself to be vulnerable to others by getting into the other person’s emotions, it can enrich your relationships and form deeper connections. When you share your experiences of emotions such as anger, anxiety, shame and sadness, you can open opportunities for others to empathize with you.

 

Being vulnerable can build up your empathy by allowing you to feel the value of empathy through reflection. This can increase your commitment to being more empathetic to others. You can gain more confidence and comfort in navigating hard emotions during conversations with others.

 

6. Take action and offer your help to others

 

Having empathy involves adopting the emotions of others, but not their external  situations. Knowing what the other person is going through can help you better identify their needs. If you are able to do so, offering to help others can make a big difference. This puts empathy into action and helps to maximize well-being.

 

7. Show your emotional support to others

 

Most importantly, for empathy to be effective, you need to show emotional support to people. This means giving them your trust and affirmation, as well as encouraging them. You should let them know that, no matter what happens, you will always support them. Sometimes what people are looking for are not your solutions, but your empathy and support.

 

Our world can certainly benefit from having more empathy for others. By learning how to become more empathetic, you can make a difference by creating peace and harmony in our world. So the next time you see someone having a hard time, make sure you listen and share, and identify what you can do to help them.

 

Was there a time when someone else’s empathy helped you? Tell us your stories in the comments below, or in person at a Conscious Connections meeting!

I Can.

Posted on by andrew

Isolated from her family and mired in feelings of inadequacy, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Meghna Thakur hit a low point before gradually emerging from it. Reflecting on that time, Meghna is now putting pieces together to create essential personal supports.

 

It always starts with the same thought, “I don’t think I can,” in one form or another . . . a small, niggling feeling. Sometimes it’s easy to ignore, but other times it takes root and won’t let go. Then that thought becomes a faint whisper and, if not curbed, gains strength until it’s a loud inner monologue that is difficult to silence.

 

Self-doubt has been a constant companion in my life from a very early age. Though the term has a negative connotation at face value, I have had both positive and negative experiences dealing with it.

 

I grew up in a family of highly talented artists and well-educated professionals in the science, technology and medical fields. It was quite a legacy to live up to. Most of my young life was spent trying to excel in my studies or extracurricular activities because, whether I was aware of it or not, there was always a need to measure up, to prove myself. Growing up, I channelled those feelings into determination, which pushed me to constantly improve and learn. I discovered my love of reading all kinds of literature, my fascination with science, a passion for sports and a knack for analytical and logical thinking. On a personal level, it drove me to explore a plethora of hobbies before focusing on what interested and inspired me. 

 

However, the motivation borne from these feelings of inadequacy was a double-edged sword. I left my home country to pursue a master’s degree abroad and naively believed that any challenges I faced could easily be tackled if I was simply determined enough. But being alone and away from everything that is familiar to you, that little whisper of uncertainty (that can usually be easily drowned out when you feel secure in your environment) can rapidly transform into something far more insidious. Within a month, I started fearing that I did not have what it takes to get through the rigours of this new, unfamiliar international education system. Coupling that with the fact that my family had just spent a significant chunk of their hard-earned savings to give me this opportunity led to me suffering several panic attacks. At my lowest point, I hadn’t slept for almost four days straight and had barely eaten a meal that didn’t come straight out of a ready-to-eat packet. I would stay up all night crying with my family, wishing they could be with me, but at the same time knowing that wasn’t a viable option. They even tried to persuade me to give it all up and just come home, and we’d figure out the next step together. 

 

Looking back, what truly helped me get through that dark period were the friends I made at university. We were all in the same boat together, and knowing that they shared the same uncertainty and fears was a huge comfort. They lent an ear free from judgment or reproach, and I had never been more grateful. I realized that, though my family and friends back home would always have my back, it was important to build a local support system to feel a sense of community. The people you surround yourself with matter. Personal connection matters. 

 

This lesson has never been more relevant than now. This pandemic has brought to light many things that I have always questioned but chose to ignore, because there was always something I could use to distract myself: travel, weddings, entertainment . . . But in the past year, with all those diversions gone, I have struggled with significant aspects of my life, like my choice of career, the place I live and what matters most to me. 

 

I have found that a combination of the approaches that worked for me thus far has helped a great deal. I have forced myself to come to terms with things that no longer serve or satisfy me. This has re-ignited my drive to wholeheartedly pursue endeavours that bring me joy, and I have faith that success will follow. The very nature of the current situation prevents us from seeking out personal physical connection with those we love, and it has been difficult having to rely on solely virtual means. Nevertheless, I try to focus on keeping connected with my social circle (near and far) and checking in with them, and remind myself that I still have a great support system. 

 

However, what became painfully clear was the severe lack of friendships I had formed in the two years that I have called Vancouver my home. To try and get out there and make friends, I took advantage of the partial lifting of restrictions last summer to join hiking and outdoor adventure groups. This led me to meeting some wonderful people from various backgrounds that I probably would never have met. Most recently, I have started volunteering at local non-profits, which is what led me to Low Entropy. The feeling of acceptance and positive reinforcement that I have felt from my peers here has helped me feel a renewed sense of belonging and has helped calm that nagging voice that probably won’t ever truly go away, but can be relegated to the sidelines where it belongs. 

 

Meghna definitely belongs here, and you do too! Join our loving and empathetic community by participating in a Conscious Connections group chat, or simply drop us a comment here or on one of our other social media channels – we’re super acceptance-y!