Month: January 2022

The Next Big Thing

Posted on by andrew

Max Rodriguez (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

You are meant to be big. Do you see those people on TV? That is going to be you one day . . .

 

Those are pretty words. I’m not saying that the person who is reading this doesn’t have the chance to become The Next Big Thing, but can we talk about this?

 

There must be people out there who want to change the world, and there might also be a good number of individuals who want and deserve to be seen. I hope that they find their voice and God have mercy on them, because rising up through society is a hard thing to do.

 

The people we admire are the product of two things: hard work and opportunity. But let me tell you that the people up there might not be having a blast like the world thinks they are having. The ladder to success is built mostly with tears, sacrifice, rejection, quitting, trying again, giving up, changing your mind, ups, downs, betrayal, help and a lot of patience. You are going against the flow, the status quo, and people may not like that. People are often not kind to new things.

 

You may have a goal in your life. But you might also feel self-conscious because your life is not like others’. Maybe you were having a great time playing video games with your friends, and then ruined your night because you found out that girl from high school is at a big party or that dude you met is the CEO of a company. And you might think that if you were them instead, you would be happier or your life would be better, but . . . everyone has problems. That girl might have been kicked out of her house or that CEO might have alcoholism issues. Those are stories we don’t like to share on Instagram.

 

I’ve been there. There was just this constant urge to be perfect. I felt a lot of eyes on me and many people saying, “You are so talented,” “I believe in you,” “I see your name in the rolling credits of the big screen” . . . even though those were warm and motivating things to say, they put so much pressure on me. Suddenly I felt like I was running out of time, like I was getting too old to become a filmmaker (I’m 20, lol). I stopped being a human and became a machine that didn’t sleep and only worked, someone who was always at everybody’s service except my own. I collapsed and became depressed, but those words fueled me to keep pushing and hurting myself for no reason . . . why?

 

I just wanted to make films! My theory is that my passion convinced everyone that I was shooting for the stars. But right now I work at my college, and I can’t be happier: I have the chance to work in a good environment and take a break from the pressure of trying to join the film industry. I was warned that being a filmmaker was not going to be easy. But my dream was not to become the Next Big Thing, it was just to be behind a camera doing whatever had to be done to keep the show going.

 

Don’t feel pressured. Be happy, do things that make you, you. When I had my crisis, everyone left my side. But now that I’m recovering and feeling like myself again, people are comfortable around me, and it’s cool because I feel genuine and real. I swear that if you are meant to be something big, the best way to do so is by enjoying who you are and not comparing yourself to others. Take chances, but also be patient and trust the process. And if you’re not meant to go viral worldwide, don’t feel bad . . . who wants to be judged by everyone all the time? You don’t have to be The Next Big Thing to be special, and don’t let anyone force you to be big, because that is not what success means.

 

—

 

Max Rodriguez is a Colombian and Canadian who is an unstoppable artist with a strong passion for filmmaking.

 

Change Your Attitude, Change Your Future

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Lori Stevenson (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

You know those days where you oversleep, then have a terrible morning where everything just seems to go wrong? It sets the precedent for the day — things just continue to spiral downward. Then there are days where you wake up smiling, with a spring in your step, and you own the entire day. Coincidence? Millions of people, and science, say no.

 

We are bombarded with positive thinking quotes, and for good reason. It has been repeatedly shown that a positive outlook facilitates positive results. Henry Ford nailed it — “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.” Maybe that sounds like wishful thinking, but let’s take a closer look. If you honestly think that you can’t land that job, write that book or get a date with that cute barista at your favorite coffee shop — are you going to even try? Probably not. Those with a positive attitude approach challenges with confidence in themselves and their abilities — they will at least try. This doesn’t guarantee their success by any means, but they have a much better chance than someone who approaches a challenge with their inner voice saying “You can’t.”

 

The good news is that it is fairly easy to change your outlook and become more positive. All you need is some mindful intention. Here are some simple tips that you can add into your day.

 

Intentionally Increase Your Positive Thoughts

 

There is a good reason why almost any research you do into happiness, positive thinking or success will yield a common denominator — gratitude. The benefits of gratitude have been extolled as far back as the ancient philosophers Plato, Epicurus, Cicero and Epictetus, to name a few. Gratitude has been shown to increase happiness, which in turn increases positive behavior. It engages the prefrontal cortex of the brain, the area responsible for feelings like accomplishment and associated with the arrangement of thoughts and actions in accordance with internal goals. 

 

Employ a daily practice of gratitude — you can choose to journal these thoughts, or just acknowledge them mentally. I choose the mental option, highlighting three things that I am grateful for each day. If you are having trouble thinking of unique things daily, make it fun and easy by finding a theme. I like alphabetical — starting with A and working your way through to Z, every day think of three things you are grateful for that begin with that day’s letter. Other themes I have used are the five senses, different decades of my life and different areas of life, such as personal, family, professional and social. There are endless things to be grateful for!

 

To further strengthen your positive thoughts, you can also try daily mantras and inspirational quotes — there is an abundance online — or look to positive folks in your life for support and inspiration. 

 

Watch Your Internal Language

 

In line with Henry Ford’s quote above, language matters. Listen to your internal dialogue and look for opportunities to show yourself empathy or reframe a situation. Do you have a fixed mindset, where what is, is, and can not be changed? Or do you have a growth mindset, where what is may be changed or improved? Recently a colleague introduced me to the “power of yet.” This is incredibly effective in making the jump from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. I’m working on teaching myself Spanish — it is difficult and at times frustrating, but I keep telling myself that I’m not fluent yet. The next time you are up against a challenge, switch that internal dialogue from “I don’t know how to do that” to “I don’t know how to do that yet, but I can work on improving my skills.” You’ll be surprised how that simple tweak will serve you. 

 

Look for the Lesson or Opportunity

 

Maya Angelou once said “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” Positive, successful people focus on what they have influence over or can control and learn to let go of what they cannot. Think of being stuck in traffic. No one likes to be there — we have better places to be and things to be doing. It can immediately give rise to feelings of anger and frustration, maybe even helplessness. These feelings do nothing to change your situation, but effectively ruin your previous good mood, and perhaps the rest of your day. Instead, try looking for the opportunity that this may present. Maybe it gives you time to have a good conversation with your travel companion(s). Take out your phone and dictate your shopping list or your thoughts for the big meeting you have coming up. Tune out by tuning in to a great podcast or audio book. Reflect on your day. Do a body scan meditation. You are going to be stuck in traffic no matter what you do — would you rather be miserable, or peaceful and maybe even productive? The same mindset serves in those instances where you have tried something and were not successful. Instead of focusing on what went wrong or what you didn’t achieve, think instead of what you’ve learned — about yourself, others or the process. What could you do differently next time? This is growth, and it always breeds success.

 

Finally, being positive does not mean living in denial of the negative aspects of life — these things do exist, and we face them on a regular basis. Positivity enables us to manage those instances better, by acknowledging that they are part of us, but don’t define us, bringing hope and optimism that even the worst of times will improve.

 

Life is truly what you make it – what do you want to make yours?

 

—

 

My name is Lori Stevenson and I am a management professional living in the beautiful Okanagan. In my spare time I enjoy reading, writing, yoga, teaching myself Spanish and walking my dogs. I am pleased to share my ideas, thoughts and knowledge here with the Low Entropy community!

Don’t Forget

Posted on by andrew

Nour Saqqa, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

We all want to own better quality items, eat the highest quality foods and live happier, more meaningful and balanced days. Some of us even want to take a step into the extraordinary — yet, we don’t want to face the experiences we often label as “failures” instead of challenges.

 

These failures remind us of what we believe went wrong in our lives, the emotions we try to avoid and the thoughts we would rather not relive. So, many of us choose to leave the past where we believe it belongs: in the past. What if, instead, we looked at these challenging experiences as dips — masked, invaluable growth opportunities that we can benefit from when we learn to ask the right questions? A lot could happen, including giving ourselves a chance to discover the full potential of our past and invaluable lessons that can help us create a more prosperous present and future.

 

Don’t just learn to face and make peace with your past. Learn to value questioning it — especially those experiences we label as “failures” — before you choose to move on.

 

But how do we ask the right questions? And what can we discover from doing this? 

 

Asking the right questions begins with having the right mindset: the right set of attitudes or beliefs about yourself. When you have a fixed mindset, you believe that your failure is a dead end. You see that you tried. You didn’t get the results you wanted. And you think you only lost time and can’t move forward. Your focus on the outcome clouds your ability to learn from what happened. 

 

That’s one way to look at the world. But, like everything else in life, there is also another way. It’s called viewing the event from a growth mindset. When you have this mindset, you think you’re capable of growth and development. You don’t fear failure, and you’re not hesitant to take risks to advance personally or professionally. Unlike those with a fixed mindset, you see opportunities and challenges instead of obstacles. As a result, you allow yourself to learn from your experiences, especially those that did not yield the results you wanted.

 

Once you believe you can learn a lot from these experiences, you develop the foundation needed to navigate them and uncover valuable lessons that can help you grow and become more knowledgeable and resilient. With a proper foundation, you can now begin the second most crucial part of learning to ask the right questions: reflection with the intent to go beyond the obvious and superficial reasons leading to your undesirable results.

 

Here are three questions to guide you on your journey to becoming more skilled at asking the right questions:

 

  1. Did I set myself up for failure or success?
  2. Did I understand and firmly believe in my “why”?
  3. Did I have a detailed and efficient plan? And did I follow it or change it when necessary?

 

When used well, asking these questions will help you learn more about how you think — and how you can think more deeply. And writing your responses can help you find more clarity, especially since this task is viewed as a thinking tool.

 

No matter how you think more deeply about these experiences, you will also learn more about yourself and who you want to become. And you will also become more aware of the following:

 

  • Weaknesses and hidden strengths that you can strengthen
  • Unhealthy habits you need to break and healthy habits you need to build
  • Distractions taking up your time
  • Unhealthy relationships that hold you back
  • Healthy relationships that help you thrive

 

The more of the right questions you ask, the more meaningful answers you’ll get. Like reading and writing and team-building, asking the right questions is a skill that requires lots of deliberate practice. Reflecting on your past “failures” can help you develop this skill. 

 

So, instead of moving past your challenges, face them and embrace them for what they offer. Some of them will introduce you to reservoirs of strength, others to courage. Each dip is a bump on the road, not a dead end. If you don’t reexamine your past, you will never know what you missed.

 

—

 

Nour Saqqa is a Toronto-based writer, editor and purpose-driven communications professional. When she is not at work or volunteering, she’s either on LinkedIn Learning or creating new products for DM Tees Designs, her eco-friendly business on Etsy.

(looking back to believing forward)

Posted on by andrew

RCP, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

A long night’s road trip. This is called life.

 

We have no recollection of when we began riding, but the facticity of it is peculiar and beyond doubt. This is called our condition. 

 

In this drive under nightfall, most of life is hidden mystery. Our headlights and taillights brighten a small area immediately around us, but darkness shrouds most of the path and we are unsure of its size and nature. This is called uncertainty. 

 

We’re often caught looking in the rearview mirror, trying in vain to straighten the road behind us in its dim red light. This is called regret. 

 

The trip cannot stop or pause, and behind us lie irrecoverable scenes of joy and people we don’t know anymore. This is called grief.

 

Sometimes we glance over our shoulder and think of the times when the road was smooth and beautiful. This is called nostalgia. 

 

Whatever it is behind us, it was done as best as it could be, and we are better off to not even bother to look at it. This is called acceptance. 

 

The beam of the headlights reveals to us but a small area in front of us that is continually moving forward, yet always in the same place. This is called the present.

 

That which lies ahead of the light is completely concealed. This is called the future.

 

Our journey has given us bumpy road before and we know not if we can stay on track the next time. This is called fear.

 

The road doesn’t go on forever, and we know the car will eventually break down, despite the sweetness that the path is paved on. This is called despair. 

 

The road has been smooth behind us, and even though we must drive slowly when it is bumpy, the nature of the road is to vary in its evenness. This is called hope. 

 

The car only moves forward and does not pause for our sake. This is called fate.

 

We concentrate on what our headlights reveal to us and let the future take care of itself. This is called faith.

 

—

 

Leave your thoughts for RCP in the comments below — better yet, start up a dialogue with the Low Entropy community in person at a Conscious Connections meeting or online at our community site. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and YouTube to stay up-to-date with Low Entropy news!

Race to the Bottom

Posted on by andrew

Rushmila Rahman, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer 

 

Over the last two years, I noticed my voice slowly starting to fade. 

 

At first I blamed it on the pandemic – like most things – but that didn’t seem to deter the casual and undeniable shedding of the confident chord that held my sentences together. In a panic, I started focusing my energy on making my voice louder, my thoughts clearer and my words more polished. Yet I felt less heard than ever, and the more I looked in the mirror, the more I started to imagine pixie dust in place of words coming out of my mouth. 

 

I couldn’t help but wonder: was it really just the pandemic? 

 

The last two years have also seen me transition from one stage of life to another: I graduated and traded my “student” status for an “unemployed” one. With so many recent reports of employees resigning, combined with LinkedIn declarations that the future lies in hybrid work options, you’d think that it would be easy to find a job in my field. 

 

Not exactly. 

 

Job postings nowadays have a few common keywords that stood out to me: dynamic. Diverse. Detail-oriented. Expert demonstrable knowledge. Digital expert. Marketing expert. Regardless of the company’s use of such nouns and adjectives to describe their perfect candidate, they all seemingly wanted the same thing: expertise. 

 

If you search for “entry-level jobs requiring experience,” you’ll read that applicants like myself are supposed to ignore the minimum two-to-four year requirement and “just apply anyway.” Yet, before submitting the application, a little pop-up box asks me to put down (in numerical figures only) my years of experience doing X, Y and Z. 

 

Most organizations claim to be diverse in their hiring practices but their cultures are still quite static and old-fashioned. As more complex, dynamic job-seekers flood the market, companies increasingly seem to respond by shrinking their office spaces and boarding up their windows. It’s like something out of Shakespeare: “No, Time, thou shalt not boast that I do change.” 

 

My academic and professional background may not be a long scroll, but it does showcase my skills in this field. Despite my work experience and a highly specific degree, I’m weeded out as an under-qualified candidate because of the ancient and quite paradoxical practice of judging someone’s qualification for an entry-level job based on their years of experience. This tells me that all this community really cares about is that numerical value that tells them how long I’ve been doing what I’m applying to do. As if qualified people cannot be dynamic, non-linear individuals who have the tenacity to explore various interests and still climb up.

 

In his book Think for Yourself, Vikram Mansharamani writes that our love affair with specialization has surpassed all limits and imposed mental conditions (or walls) that box us in. According to his research, “experts are less accurate predictors than non-experts in their areas of expertise” because it’s difficult for them to “successfully navigate the vague situations that are more prevalent today than ever before.” As Mansharamani puts it, “breadth of perspective trumps depth of expertise in uncertain domains.” And since organizations nowadays want people to unlearn and relearn continuously, generalists are better suited to navigate the ever-changing future of any company. 

 

Yes, experts are valuable; and no, it’s not a fair world, but are companies really being “dynamic” and “diverse” by asking for years of experience for entry-level positions? Or are they just carrying out the age-old tradition of using their hiring practices to exploit periodic surges in the number of those unemployed in the market? 

 

Anyone can learn the skills that a given job requires. That’s why there is orientation, a probationary period and a hierarchy of positions in a company – these act as safeguards for the production line and the company’s coffers. And yet they want us to believe that hiring experts at entry-level wages is the most sustainable way to move forward? Unfortunately, even in 2022, the term “diversity” only runs skin-deep, and individuals with non-linear backgrounds are destined to fall through the cracks, leaving a trail of pixie dust in their wake. 

 

I believe Tinker Bell is a great analogy in this situation. As a job-seeker, I feel my voice getting increasingly silenced and my personhood gradually erased the more jobs I apply to. When I apply for positions that line up with my skills and interests, the same ones with long-drawn posts and application methods, with pages of questions on top of a resume and cover letter requirement, only to be weeded out by a little pop-up box, I might as well sprout a pair of wings and fly away to Neverland, because all those words mean nothing next to that numerical figure used to determine my qualification. 

 

The sheer lack of trust on the part of companies when screening potential employees places applicants in a position of absolute submission (mostly through arcane application processes) and otherization. Just like how Tinker Bell’s existence relied on the collective faith of those around her, the growth of the hiring company relies on having faith in those who want to work for it. 

 

As a community, enough emphasis needs to be placed on diversity and non-linear backgrounds, in the truest sense of these terms. Only when we are able to foster an environment that celebrates risk-takers and dreamers will we keep the Tinker Bells of this world from vanishing into thin air.

 

—

 

Rushmila Rahman is a writer, editor and communications professional based in Vancouver, BC.

Despite Change

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Bethany Howell (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Throughout my life, I have only had people who stayed for short periods of time. Excluding family, my longest relationships always lasted under a year. Never by choice, but instead, circumstance. Quarantine and switching between schools easily broke apart any relationships I had. That is, until he came along.

 

He was my first partner and the only person to stay with me through the change, not leave me because of it. We became inseparable and soon, a year had passed of us being together. With the exchanging of anniversary gifts — a beautiful promise ring he spent a good portion of his paycheck on — I realized that this may be the first “forever” in my life. Yes, others have said it, but years of disappointment and broken promises made the word automatically untrue in my mind. The months wore on, as good and as bad as they always are, still filled with pain, but I withstood them better with him by my side. He held me and comforted me and, even when we were hundreds of kilometers apart, somehow managed to be near me in spirit.

 

I have realized now that new beginnings do not necessarily mean new people, and that one can find new things to explore with those they’ve come to know so well. My partner continues to stick with me through moves, stay-at-home orders and the personal drama that seems to follow me throughout my life — something I never expected another person would be able to handle. To have someone hold your hand and not only walk with you, but guide you through problems that arise, is a wondrous thing. 

 

New beginnings with the same person can be difficult, regardless of the excellence of the relationship. Strains are added with distance and time between meetings; we often find ourselves bickering more as a result of this. Though new scenarios may be beneficial — such as myself moving back for another year at university — issues can still arise. With change comes hardships, whether they be simple or more complex. Even through these hardships, through months of being unable to see my partner in person and through the arguments that we stumble into together, we have still stayed strong as one. 

 

To maintain a relationship, stability must be found, even in unstable times. These large periods of change shook me, but my partner was able to help keep me steady. “Throughout everything,” I would say to myself, “At least I know he is here.” There have been many nights spent awake due to stress about the future, asking myself where I will end up living and who will stay with me, but never once have I questioned his place by my side.

 

It must be noted that staying close is not a one-sided action. Along with my partner’s fierce loyalty comes my own, and only together have we been able to make it through each new scenario. I would like to believe that I hold onto him just as tightly as he holds onto me. I also would like to say that I am the same stabilizing force in his life that he is in mine. I know that he would agree with both statements, assuring me that I am, of course, just as — if not more — useful to him as he is to me.

 

The months will continue to wear on, just as they are known to do, and I hope that my partner shall stay near me regardless of what life brings our way. I once told him, after a particularly rough day, that I no longer see the world in terms of “him” and “I,” but “us”; I believe that it is this mindset that will keep us strong. We have loyalty, not only to each other as partners, but to each other as separate parts of ourselves. New beginnings may come along for me and, for once, I feel equipped to truly embrace them. With my partner, I have the stability and comfort I need to not only accept, but adopt change. 

 

Finally, to my partner: Thank you, darling. Thank you for everything you do, especially supporting my writing (and agreeing to me sharing our story). Here’s to many more years of us.

 

—

 

My name is Bethany Howell and I am a third-year university student majoring in psychology and minoring in family and child studies. I have a passion for writing and mental health, and my ultimate goal since age 13 has been to make a difference in the world through helping others, which is how I ended up here at Low Entropy!

Why Didn’t Anyone Tell Me?

Posted on by andrew

Linda Ng, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer 

 

As a young adult growing up in a confusing world, I believe I’ve finally mastered the art of living. I am no expert. But my journey to self-improvement in the past few years has taught me more than I’ve ever learned during my school years.

 

I’m here to share them with you today. Your age should not impact your plan of action. It’s never too late to keep improving yourself and moving forward.

 

See the World

I typically travel about two-to-three times per year, usually one long trip accompanied by a few shorter ones. I understand that travelling isn’t for everyone, especially at this point in time. But I believe there are valuable benefits you can reap from seeing the world, beyond lamenting about lost luggage or delayed flights. Seeing how other people live, encountering different cultures and meeting new people are priceless experiences that will support your transition to adulthood and allow you to grow. Check out the beautiful glaciers in Iceland, run through beautiful tea fields in Japan or visit a famous museum in Europe. Through travelling, I’ve learned to be humble and appreciate what I have. The knowledge and memories stay with you for life.

 

Live Alone

When I was in university, I lived at home. I did not learn to be independent until I got married. Living at home was perfect. There were no meals to cook or kitchens to clean. I just studied. In doing so, I gave up the experience of learning to be independent. It’s a crucial skill that I neglected to learn until much later in life. Living on campus at a university is a golden opportunity for you to train and prepare yourself. Because there is no one to rely on, you’ll find that you’ll learn new skills much more quickly. Sure, it’s tough to fix a broken kitchen appliance or figure out how to pay your expenses. But when you look back, you will be glad you trained yourself. 

 

Equip Yourself

Young adult years are often the best time to equip yourself with the ammunition you need to get through this often cruel world. You have all the time in the world to prepare yourself and learn to handle what life throws at you. No one teaches you about mortgages or how to haggle over a new car lease in school. You won’t learn about household repairs or budgeting. These are real-world skills that you need during adult life. You have the time and energy to acquire these skills when you are young.

 

Take Time Off

I’ve always regretted not taking time off between graduating and getting a full-time job. The expectation for me was to land a job after graduating from university. As I look back at my life, there is no doubt that I made a mistake. Except for paid vacation days, you don’t get time off work. Where is the time to travel or to do other things? Once you secure that permanent full-time job, you might see yourself working until you retire. We spend our most productive years earning money. When we retire and try to address our passions, we often run out of time and energy faster than we can replenish them. Whether it’s to travel or to learn more about yourself, taking a year or two off after graduating is a great way to figure out the plan for the rest of your life. I wish I did that.

 

Investing and Saving

I’ve only begun dabbling in investments in the past few years. I’ve always shied away from it, confused about the jargon and complicated charts and numbers. What did EPS and P/E ratio mean? I had no idea and wasn’t motivated to find out at all. As life went on, I came to a point where I started to think about retirement. I certainly did not want to be penniless during my retirement years. I began researching information about RRSPs, TFSAs and the stock market. The more I learned, the more ignorant I felt. Investing can generate an additional passive income that grows while I’m sleeping. I realized that I should have been investing years ago. 

 

Work During School

I came out of university debt-free, which is somewhat of a miracle. How did I do it? I paid for all my textbooks and tuition because I held down a part-time job during school. When I wasn’t studying, I was working. Hearing about students who are thousands of dollars in debt after graduating sounds like a nightmare. I avoided that nightmare by making sure I paid my way through school. It’s one of the best things I’ve ever done.

 

Venturing into the adult world is something you’ll experience much faster than you think. I’m hoping some of these tips will facilitate a smoother transition. Is there anything you’d like to add to the list? Leave a comment below to share your thoughts!

 

—

 

My name is Linda and I’m from Canada! When I’m not writing, I enjoy travelling, playing badminton and spending time with my pets. I have a strong passion for self-improvement and mental health topics. I’m hoping to share that with you here at Low Entropy!

Self-acceptance and the Legend of Narcissus

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Susan Turi (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

O’ glass-eyed pond off the wild beaten track, 

from where clouds abscond on days overcast 

along furrowed path, carved stone-cold black 

wherein hoof and foot print in iron cast- 

like a coin you lie forgotten yet bright 

dropped by a God out his pocket of tweed, 

smothered by heather and rimm’d in twilight 

stumbling upon you in moments of need. 

Tho’ rains have stayed and left like a rude guest 

gouging deeper your fossil-d peat-grave, 

mud-eyed, and still’d in cosmic reflect, 

I kneel at the orbits of heaven’s gaze; 

for even in doubt and lost opportunes 

the glass-eyed pond shall reveal my fortunes. 

 

~S.T 

 

The legend of Narcissus is a well-known Greek myth that many are familiar with. Narcissus, the handsome son of a river god and a nymph, allegedly spurned the advances of the goddess Echo, and came across a lake or a pond while out hunting. Upon catching his own reflection in it, he falls in love with himself. Doomed until death to never love anyone but himself, a daffodil blooming on the edges of the pond where he once stood is a reminder of this curse.

 

But wait a minute. Why a beautiful daffodil — a joyful reminder of summer on its way — and not a weed? And how did Narcissus come across this pond in his wanderings? Gazing into the mirrored pond, did he not also admire the vast sky filled with swallows reflected behind his silhouetted form, or the bulrushes shivering at the pond’s edge? This is one of the reasons I find this legend fascinating, as there are so many questions about how and why Narcissus came to this pond and what happened after he stared at his own reflection. One thing is certain though, the legend of Narcissus is a lesson about the relationship, or lack thereof, with one’s inner self, and accepting who one really is. By falling in love with his reflected image, Narcissus was doomed to negate the unique myriad textures and hues within himself, which exist at the core of everyone and are explored and tested through our interpersonal relationships. 

 

It’s true that we all have our narcissistic tendencies, to varying degrees. This was encouraged, as it is today, in ancient Greece, with pressure to conform to stereotypical standards of status and beauty. Yet believing that who we see reflected back at us via a mirror — or society — is all that we are is what the legend of Narcissus warns us about. Focusing on cultivating a facade acceptable to society in denial of one’s own unique qualities can only lead to long-term disillusionment, as one’s facade also encompasses popular tastes in fashion, career choices and goals, and one’s own ambition and extroversion.

 

Knowing who you are as a person is integral to your mental health and self-acceptance. One’s first steps towards self-knowledge is universal — seeing ourselves reflected in our mother’s eyes. We feel acknowledged and realise our importance. She is the pond to our Narcissus. But as we mature, we develop awareness of others beyond our reflection. We understand that the pond has not been created in the forest for us, but for the deer to drink from, for the fish and frogs to make their home therein. We learn that during dry spells the pond may recede, and that during wet weather it may breach its rim and flood the surrounding meadow. Once we have realized that we have no control over nature’s instincts to evolve, we realize that change happens to us, whether we want it or not. To remain in this limbo state, in the first stage of development — like Narcissus did — to fall in love with one’s own reflection, is a refusal of a natural tendency to grow into ourselves and discover our complexities. A question we may ask of ourselves in difficult moments, when driven by negative emotions, is whether it is okay to stay who we are, with our self-perceived contradictions and weaknesses. But this question is dependent on whether who you are as a person — your persona — serves your inner self and is not a manufactured facade to satisfy external expectations. Which brings me back to the legend of Narcissus. 

 

A particular variation on the legend that I like is that Narcissus was led to the pond by Nemesis, the goddess of revenge, who wanted to punish him for rejecting Echo by bewitching him into falling in love with himself. I like this version, as it suggests that Narcissus was duped into being fatally attracted to himself. After a day of hunting, after all, it would have been more likely that Narcissus would have been tired, with little energy for admiring his own reflection. He may have examined his gaunt reflection in the quietude of the pond and its surroundings, and pondered upon his furrowed brow and lined face, and instead of falling in love with a shallow, idealized self, he may have contemplated the reflected cosmos and then asked of himself, “Who am I, really?” Perhaps the daffodil that grows on the banks of rivers and lakes, or at the sides of ponds, is an optimistic reminder to get to know and accept one’s true self — including one’s darker self — to be one’s own compass, resisting the urge to believe in a superficial facade, and to embrace the unique person that blooms inside every one of us. 

 

References:

https://www.britannica.com/topic/Narcissus-Greek-mythology 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissus_(mythology) 

 

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I am a writer, illustrator and painter living in Montreal, Canada with a degree in fine arts. I began my career as a production artist for design studios and ad agencies, before deciding to devote myself  purely to self-expression through writing and painting. I am currently at Concordia University majoring in creative writing and English literature.

The Small Things

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Raghavi (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

New Year’s is a time of reflection for many. A time to look back on the past year and to look ahead to the future. I used to write out a list of lofty goals every New Year, and then promptly forget about them by the end of January. I would put far too many things on the list and end up too overwhelmed to work on any of them. Over the last few years, I’ve realized that starting small is the best way to accomplish change for me. Now I am much more sparing with my goal setting. I don’t put pressure on myself to set goals for the sake of the new year, so some years I have just one or two goals, and some years I have none.

 

I also don’t wait for the new year. Instead I just do it throughout the year, as I identify things that I want to work on. I use the same approach with my to-do lists, paring the tasks down to the absolute essentials, and now I am much more successful in getting those tasks done. On the hard days I skip the to-do list altogether and write a have-done list instead. I write down all the things I have accomplished throughout the day, even if it is something as small as getting out of bed or having a shower. It instantly makes me feel better about myself.

 

When it comes to working toward an actual goal, embracing small steps has been a game changer for me. The old adage “Rome wasn’t built in a day” is a good way of visualizing this. You cannot go from a beginner level guitar player to a virtuoso overnight. It takes many small steps over time. Often when I set a goal, it’s hard to know where to start, as it just seems like one giant, unscalable mountain. This is where breaking it down into smaller parts is helpful. It makes it less overwhelming, and the work I need to do becomes much clearer.

 

Also, realizing that there will never be a perfect time to start working has been a lightbulb moment for me. I just have to make use of the time I have, even if it’s squeezing in five minutes in the morning before work or a few minutes before bed. The old me would wait for inspiration and motivation to strike, preferably when I had a big chunk of free time, but that ideal confluence never happened. It seems like such a simple concept, but I still catch myself thinking, “I’ll wait for a better time” to start something. I have to actively push myself and say, “I am going to do it right now, even if it doesn’t seem like the perfect time.” 

 

A lot of times, especially when a task is difficult or laborious, my mind throws up a wall and I find myself avoiding the work. A technique that I have found useful to help me break through this mind block is the Pomodoro Technique, which is setting a timer for 25 minutes and working without stopping for those 25 minutes before taking a break. I usually aim for 10 minutes and I don’t always use a timer, but the concept has been incredibly useful in helping me get started. I find that once I actually start, I get into a rhythm and often keep going well beyond 10 minutes, but even if I only do 10 minutes of work, I still feel a sense of achievement. 

 

Self-improvement is a wonderful pursuit, but it is important to remember that progress might not be linear and it might not be fast. There will be ups and downs and productive days and not so productive days. We are our own worst critics and often place unrealistic expectations on ourselves. It is important to have patience and self-compassion and to celebrate the small wins. We may not make giant leaps every day, but the small steps will add up over time to make lasting change. So don’t be harsh on yourself for not getting enough done, instead congratulate yourself on every small step that you take toward the future you dream of.

 

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Leave your thoughts for Raghavi in the comments below — better yet, start up a dialogue with the Low Entropy community in person at a Conscious Connections meeting or online at our community site. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and YouTube to stay up-to-date with Low Entropy news!

The Art of Goal-Setting

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Bianca Bravo (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

“The victory of success is half won when one gains the habit of setting goals and achieving them. Even the most tedious chore will become endurable as you parade through each day convinced that every task, no matter how menial or boring, brings you closer to fulfilling your dreams.” – Og Mandino 

 

The Importance of Goals 

As we anticipate the arrival of the new year, it is natural to set new goals as we embrace a fresh start full of new opportunities. Goals reveal our growth and development and reinforce change – the good kind. Since we are constantly learning and evolving, sticking to old, traditional ways does not always work. The initiative to develop new habits and the willingness to improve is a natural part of our human nature in a fast-paced society. Goals are significant, as they keep us focused and emphasize the importance of self-discipline, where we are able to delay instant gratification for more rewarding long-term gratification. 

 

Maintaining Balance Between Different Types of Goals 

There are several types of goals, each of them crucial to our own happiness and self-development. When combined together, they maintain a balance between all aspects of our lives. They help us learn new things about ourselves that work and are suited to our abilities and lifestyles. The five types of goals we tend to focus on are career/educational goals, financial goals, personal development goals (including physical health), spiritual goals and relationship goals. Although these are all important, having too many of one but not enough of others can lead to letdown and stress in one subject, and unnecessary focus on another. For instance, as a student, having too many educational goals, such as maintaining A grades, scoring above a 1500 on the SAT and writing my applications to be eligible for good universities could make me feel burnt out if they were my only focus. I like to focus on personal development as well, such as maintaining my mental and physical health and strengthening my relationships with friends and family. Specifically, I plan on continuing to go to the gym for one-to-two hours, four times a week, and taking at least one night to spend time with loved ones. Overall, having one-to-two goals in each category maintains order and increases productivity in our lives. Too much or too little of one area can be more unhealthy than beneficial. Therefore, the key idea is to find a perfect amount of time to dedicate to goals to prevent feeling overwhelmed by other priorities. 

How to Set Proper Goals and Avoid Unrealistic Ideas 

Although goal-setting is a big step in the right direction, attainable and realistic goals are the ones that prove most beneficial to us. Before setting any type of goal, it is key that we reflect on our own lifestyles so that the goals we set pertain specifically to us. They will be different for everyone, and will vary throughout the different stages of life. 

 

To further compare the difference between realistic and unrealistic goals, we can use the acronym SMART. A well-balanced goal is composed of specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time-bound principles. Along with a goal, you should have a specific, solid understanding of the steps you need to take in order to reach that goal. If it is general, broad, and needs more detail to be interpreted correctly, it is easy to slack off or feel unsure of where to start with regard to completing that goal. Additionally, goals should also be measurable and manageable within a specific amount of time, and should fit with other conflicting priorities you have. It is illogical to devote a significant amount of time to tasks of lesser priority or to achieve a long-term goal in a short period of time. Furthermore, reflect on your work ethic and time management abilities. If a goal is unfit for you to accomplish in the time you want, cut it down or alter it to fit you. Goals are meant to encourage, not discourage you. With that, remember not to compare goals with others around you, since they must pertain to your own abilities, passions and needs. Lastly, giving yourself a deadline will force you to put in the effort, which parallels the satisfaction of receiving delayed gratification. Giving too much or too little time for yourself to complete a goal is not ideal. Practice patience, but do not procrastinate, as little-to-no progress will result from it. 

The Effects of Realistic Goals and its Role in Success 

Overall, realistic goals will help you, in the future, become the best version of yourself. As humans, we are constantly growing and learning. Our potential is based on our mentality and whether we can dig deep enough to achieve our greatest dreams and desires. Realistic goals set us on the right path to becoming successful, happy and fulfilled.

 

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My name is Bianca Bravo, and I am a high school student from Vancouver, BC. Some of my hobbies include writing, going to the gym and listening to music. 

Embracing Therapy

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Linda Ng, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Therapy. This short and simple word has so many negative connotations tied to it. People imagine that those who seek therapy are the crazy ones. They are the ones who have been diagnosed with mental disorders, their bathrooms filled with piles of medication to control their symptoms. I beg to differ. There are a wide range of reasons that a person might seek therapy. It can be for stress-related issues or relationship problems. Perhaps they are simply struggling through a challenging period in their lives. 

 

Even if we are sprinting, it appears as if our ever-changing world is evolving at a mind-boggling pace. The pressures of success, daily life and the demands of society are exceedingly overwhelming to the average person. It is almost as if we are constantly dealt from a losing deck of cards, fighting every minute to get through the day. I am no exception. Just a few years ago, the pressures of life led me into a near-breakdown. Like many people in the world who are experiencing the same thing, I felt helpless and alone. It was one of the most difficult times of my life, filled with hopelessness and despair. When I started to contemplate the meaning of life, I knew I needed help. It would not have been resolved with a hot bath or a box of chocolates.

 

My Experience with Therapy

 

I sought an unbiased perspective, a person who would sit and listen to me pour my heart out. I was reluctant to speak to friends or family. Instead, I decided to turn to therapy. I enlisted the services of a psychotherapist and set up my appointment.

 

Within five minutes of my first session, I started bawling out my life story. At that point, I knew I had done the right thing. To reveal such a personal and emotional side of myself to a stranger was not easy. Yet, because I was already at a breaking point in my life, it came so effortlessly to me. The therapist did not ask any questions until I managed to stop the flow of tears. I did not walk out of the session with my problems all solved. But it was exactly the support I needed to pick myself up again.

 

Negative Views of Therapy

 

Society has somehow managed to attribute therapy to many negative implications, such as believing that there is something wrong with you or that you cannot handle your life. On the contrary, I believe that therapy is for everyone and anyone. The services of a licensed psychotherapist can be enlisted for a wide range of concerns, not only for common disorders like anxiety or depression. If you have something you can’t deal with in your life or if you’re generally feeling lost in life, you can seek therapy. It is the best thing you can do to help yourself out during tough times. 

 

Life can be incredibly difficult. It’s almost like a roller coaster, where we are pitched into euphoric highs and then mercilessly thrown into the stomach-wrenching lows. To handle this wild roller coaster ride in life, we need to understand when and how to administer self-care.

 

How Therapy Can Help

 

A therapist provides a pathway for what I like to call a “brain dump.” Can we even count the number of thoughts that we have in a day? Our brain is constantly processing information and forming new memories. If we don’t give our brains a chance to release these thoughts and unload, we are paving the way for an eventual breakdown. All I can envision is a volcano filled to the brim with hot lava, ready to erupt at the slightest trigger.

 

There are several ways of unloading thoughts. Journalling or writing a diary are common choices. Others choose to speak with friends or perhaps even resort to bottling it up inside. I believe that there should be more focus on therapy and counselling as an option. It is not that we cannot be adults and get through life, or that there is something wrong with our brains. We can think of therapy as a gentle, guiding hand to lead us out when we have lost our way. 

 

The stresses that we encounter in our society today are very real. We cannot deny that there is an increasing demand for mental health support. Learning to embrace and accept therapy is a step in the right direction. Allowing negative emotions or issues to build up and fester inside of you is never the right choice for our mental health. We get rid of physical toxins from our bodies by sweating or working out. We need to do the same for our brains. Let’s begin by taking the negativity and stigma out of therapy and counselling. It is time to take care of yourself.

 

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My name is Linda and I’m from Canada! When I’m not writing, I enjoy travelling, playing badminton and spending time with my pets. I have a strong passion for self-improvement and mental health topics. I’m hoping to share that with you here at Low Entropy!

Opportunities Knock

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Julia Magsombol (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

What if we had a second chance to get things right? What if we had another chance to change everything and grab each opportunity we missed? 

 

Sounds interesting. I know some of us wish for that in our lives. 

 

Unfortunately, time travel doesn’t exist like in the movies we watch. The past has passed. We don’t have the chance to change it anymore, and we must live in the present.  

 

We often hear from people that we shouldn’t let go of any opportunities that may come our way. We must capitalize on those openings as soon as possible or we will have failed. 

 

It’s true that opportunities can lead to success and bring us closer to our goals, whether those opportunities involve jobs, love, friendship or family.

 

However, we also miss some opportunities. Or, perhaps, a lot. 

 

Indeed, feeling that we’ve missed a chance in every opportunity is pretty annoying. The moment we realize that we could’ve done better to capitalize on an opportunity can be painful to think about. We wish we could have time travelled and changed some of our past actions. We regret a lot of things and blame our past actions. 

 

Because of our missed opportunities, we keep chasing more opportunities in different places and times. We don’t want to regret anything like before. We keep hunting those elusive doors. 

 

And while we’re chasing those opportunities, we lose sight of the things we already have, the past successes we have gained. We risk a lot of precious things while seeking those doors.

 

Let’s put it this way: a kid who is currently eating a lollipop is running to get more lollipops. The kid keeps running from store to store to get more lollipops because he wants more. The kid keeps losing sight of the things around him. Then, in a sudden moment, a truck drives along and hits the kid. The kid lost a life that was worth more than any lollipop.   

 

The moral of the story is that we risk something in every opportunity we take, and may perhaps lose something important. It’s common to fail when chasing opportunities, even if we give everything we’ve got. In doing so, we might be losing something way more valuable than the opportunities we’re longing for.

 

It’s difficult to give up opportunities when we have a lot of plans for the future. Believe me, I’m still in the process of becoming better at this. It is never easy. While I’m still learning, I’ve noted some of the things I try to keep in mind.

 

  1. Let the missed opportunities go. 

 

Missed opportunities lead to feelings of regret and failure. We may have a hard time moving on and we might keep repeating in our heads the things we could’ve done to capture them. But what can we do? They’re already gone. The past has passed, and the only thing we can do is accept our failures peacefully to move on from them. The next opportunities we find and create for ourselves could be 10 times better than what we lost. 

 

  1. Opportunities are always there. 

 

People say that we shouldn’t let go of the opportunities. People say that like it’s a rule that we already have those chances in our hands, and we must not let go of them. But the truth is, we don’t initially have any opportunities in our hands. We must find opportunities. We must create them on our own. We have a choice. And so opportunities are always there, as long as we live. We don’t have to risk everything and lose sight of the valuable things around us to achieve something.  

 

  1. Take everything at a reasonable pace.

 

It is alright to take things slowly. It is okay if we haven’t achieved our goals and haven’t gotten our opportunities yet. Life is not a race. We should take everything at our own pace, not others’.

 

What is the one thing that comes to your mind when you think of opportunities? For me, they aren’t doors that only open once. There are thousands of doors out there that will open for all of us in our own time if we keep finding them and creating them, without rushing things. 

 

We must try to put away some of the heavy things we carry from our past to freely enter the doors of our future opportunities. 

 

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Julia Magsombol is currently a journalism student from Edmonton, Canada, who desires to bring hope to people through her writing. When not writing or reading, you can catch her sewing clothes, painting nature and drinking instant coffee.

Happy Holidays?

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Emma Quackenbush (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

For some, December 25th represents significant time with family and friends and includes long-standing traditions and rituals. For others, the holidays can be challenging. I, like many, live away from my family. My immediate family lives thousands of kilometres away. This year on Christmas Eve, while my family shared COVID rapid test results and feasted on seafood, I was home wondering if my work would continue after Christmas or not, with another COVID-related shutdown looming. My family tries their best to include me in celebrations, but nothing will replace being there in person. In my experience, many things about Christmas, while pleasant, feel routine but not necessarily merry or bright.

 

I chose to live in my city, far from family, only because I got a job here. I work in a highly competitive industry, so you basically go where the job is. It is cold, the days are short around the winter solstice and it has a culture that I find unrelatable. I am puzzled by people who have grown up here who believe it’s the best place on earth. They embrace the numerous quirks and seem to love suffering cold winters (“At least it’s a dry cold!”) only to luxuriate in mosquito-riddled summers. Maybe you have to have been born here to understand the draw. 

 

I have always felt like an outsider here. That feeling intensifies over the holidays because my work schedule doesn’t allow for time off around the holidays. I see everyone around me getting excited to put up decorations and begin their holiday traditions, but each time someone asks me what my plans are, I feel further alienated from this place and this season. I don’t have an answer that feels genuine to me. 

 

Instead, I feel the financial pressure to buy and exchange gifts. I feel social pressure to have a home decorated just so, attend parties and gatherings and imbibe more than I would otherwise. I feel the emotional pressure to connect with family and friends in some significant way while still balancing one of the busiest times of the year at work. 

 

As I get older, I have learned to set more and more boundaries around these pressures. I’ve learned to say no to food and drink that I know will make me feel off-balance physically. I’ve discovered that the busy work schedule is an excellent excuse for declining invitations, and fortunately, my family and friends understand, or at the very least have accepted, that they will most likely not receive a gift from me. These boundaries help me keep in check with my physical, mental and emotional well-being. Still, I always feel like something is missing.

 

The practice of setting my boundaries has made it difficult to create my own holiday traditions. Most years, I feel like I’m in survival mode. I am more focused on maintaining a healthy balance than planning activities, baking or decorating. I’ve learned to focus my energy on what makes me feel fulfilled and honours my mind, body and soul. That focus looks different from year to year. Still, those things include a lot of self-care, like drinking enough water, exercising, keeping up my writing practice and centring my energy on genuine connections rather than peripheral ones. 

 

Over the years of separation from my family, I’ve discovered that if I don’t create space to establish holiday routines, no matter how large or small, I will easily be swept up into someone else’s vision of the holidays. I’ve always appreciated people reaching out to include me in their events and traditions; however, by accepting these invitations, I’ve found myself putting on a façade and conforming to other people’s expectations. 

 

December 25th, in many ways, is just another day. If you don’t have a family structure where long-held traditions prevail, that’s ok. Maybe there is just as much value in writing yourself a letter to check in and pouring a cup of tea before climbing into bed early.

 

For those who come from big, happy families who embrace each other’s differences and have found ways to celebrate all together, I applaud you. However, the holidays can be difficult, even in the best of circumstances. I long to find a way to create my own traditions, and I know the only way I can do that is by cultivating my well-being. So if you invite me for dinner next year and I respond by saying, “I respectfully decline,” don’t take it personally. I guarantee: it’s not you, it’s me.

 

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Emma Quackenbush is a freelance writer, professional cellist and educator whose focus is on the mind-body connection. Holding a master’s degree from the University of Michigan, Emma has worked in the orchestra field in North America for over a decade. Outside of writing and music, Emma lives in Winnipeg, Manitoba, where she struggles to stay warm in the winters and finds any occasion she can to travel to more temperate climates.