Tag: selfimprovement

Looking Back to Create a Positive Future

Posted on by andrew

Christy Braybrook (she/her/hers], Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

I have made countless mistakes over the course of my lifetime in varying degrees of severity. Afterwards, I say that timeless phrase “I’ll never do that again” or “Please ___, allow me to get out of this situation and I will never ___ again.” Then I would find myself with the exact problem or in the same situation once again. It’s a frustrating feeling. Like a terrible déjà vu coupled with the feelings of shame, guilt and self-doubt. I should’ve known better, but I didn’t. Then I realized through some self-exploration and a bit of help from a counsellor that experiencing a life lesson doesn’t automatically mean you learned anything. Personal growth is not something that is guaranteed. It is something you must work for consistently your entire life. Nothing in this world is free or easy for that matter, especially not a valuable life lesson. 

Success can be looked at the same way. We often look at someone with a great physique and feel a tinge of jealousy. Why can’t I be that weight or why can’t I drive that car? However, we fail to realize that success is about consistency. It is about considering what works and what doesn’t. No one builds a strong, healthy body overnight. They had to get up early and go to the gym in the morning before work and focus on eating balanced, nutritious meals consistently. They made small choices everyday that allowed them to successfully reach their goals. 

So how can we create the positive life we want by looking at our mistakes and successes? Unfortunately, I have yet to discover a method that prevents me from ever making a mistake again, but I have found some strategies that can help anyone learn from their mistakes. 

1. Acknowledge your mistakes

  • As much as we want to run from our missteps and pretend they never happened, this does nothing to help your personal growth. Instead, admit to yourself that your actions were wrong. Fully accepting your mistake is the first step in this journey.

 

2. Analyze the situation

  • Look at your actions and the consequences they led to. Ask yourself the difficult questions whatever that may be. Who, What, When, Why and How? Look at all the factors in the situation and pay special attention to anything that repeats itself. 
  • Realize that this is an opportunity to learn and grow. Practice positive self-talk and remember that everyone makes mistakes. 
  • Find the root cause of your issue/mistake. This will help you later on when you are identifying strategies to help you improve. 

 

3. Apply your knowledge

  • Once you analyze the situation and get to the root cause of the issue, the hard part begins. This is not to discourage you, but to make you realize that changing habits/natural reactions is challenging. 
  • Use the knowledge from the previous step to create an action plan. Prevention is key and planning is crucial. This allows you to know what to do or how to react when a similar circumstance happens. 

 

4. Practice while staying positive

  • Don’t get discouraged if things don’t go as planned at first. Repeat the steps- Acknowledge, Analyze & Apply. Adjust anything that didn’t work or could be improved.
  • Remember that change does not happen overnight for anyone.

These steps are focused on correcting failures, but it applies to our successes as well. I framed it this way because it is easier to build on successes than it is to recover from failures. Naturally we feel embarrassed or want to avoid thinking about our mistakes. However, this is the opposite of what we should really be doing if we want to foster a positive life. Sometimes it is the hard work that needs to be done in order to be successful. Whatever your definition of success is because it varies greatly. 

One of the more difficult steps is staying positive while practicing our new skills or using our new knowledge. It is easy to get discouraged and fall back into old habits. That is the comfortable thing to do, but it will not help you grow as a person. Even if we make a mistake along the way, it doesn’t mean we have failed. Simply get back up, remind yourself of your plan and keep trying. Surround yourself with supportive people that encourage you and help you achieve your goals. 

Learning from our past mistakes and successes is crucial in self-growth. I like to write in a journal to keep track of how I am doing, what is holding me back and what I can do to improve. Find something that works for you and stick with it. There are a lot of online resources that can help you as well. How you get to the end result doesn’t matter, all that matters is that you feel you were successful in achieving your goals. 

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Christy Braybrook (she/her) is a HR professional with a passion for self-improvement. In my spare time I like to volunteer and help those in need.

The Small Things

Posted on by andrew

Raghavi (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

New Year’s is a time of reflection for many. A time to look back on the past year and to look ahead to the future. I used to write out a list of lofty goals every New Year, and then promptly forget about them by the end of January. I would put far too many things on the list and end up too overwhelmed to work on any of them. Over the last few years, I’ve realized that starting small is the best way to accomplish change for me. Now I am much more sparing with my goal setting. I don’t put pressure on myself to set goals for the sake of the new year, so some years I have just one or two goals, and some years I have none.

 

I also don’t wait for the new year. Instead I just do it throughout the year, as I identify things that I want to work on. I use the same approach with my to-do lists, paring the tasks down to the absolute essentials, and now I am much more successful in getting those tasks done. On the hard days I skip the to-do list altogether and write a have-done list instead. I write down all the things I have accomplished throughout the day, even if it is something as small as getting out of bed or having a shower. It instantly makes me feel better about myself.

 

When it comes to working toward an actual goal, embracing small steps has been a game changer for me. The old adage “Rome wasn’t built in a day” is a good way of visualizing this. You cannot go from a beginner level guitar player to a virtuoso overnight. It takes many small steps over time. Often when I set a goal, it’s hard to know where to start, as it just seems like one giant, unscalable mountain. This is where breaking it down into smaller parts is helpful. It makes it less overwhelming, and the work I need to do becomes much clearer.

 

Also, realizing that there will never be a perfect time to start working has been a lightbulb moment for me. I just have to make use of the time I have, even if it’s squeezing in five minutes in the morning before work or a few minutes before bed. The old me would wait for inspiration and motivation to strike, preferably when I had a big chunk of free time, but that ideal confluence never happened. It seems like such a simple concept, but I still catch myself thinking, “I’ll wait for a better time” to start something. I have to actively push myself and say, “I am going to do it right now, even if it doesn’t seem like the perfect time.” 

 

A lot of times, especially when a task is difficult or laborious, my mind throws up a wall and I find myself avoiding the work. A technique that I have found useful to help me break through this mind block is the Pomodoro Technique, which is setting a timer for 25 minutes and working without stopping for those 25 minutes before taking a break. I usually aim for 10 minutes and I don’t always use a timer, but the concept has been incredibly useful in helping me get started. I find that once I actually start, I get into a rhythm and often keep going well beyond 10 minutes, but even if I only do 10 minutes of work, I still feel a sense of achievement. 

 

Self-improvement is a wonderful pursuit, but it is important to remember that progress might not be linear and it might not be fast. There will be ups and downs and productive days and not so productive days. We are our own worst critics and often place unrealistic expectations on ourselves. It is important to have patience and self-compassion and to celebrate the small wins. We may not make giant leaps every day, but the small steps will add up over time to make lasting change. So don’t be harsh on yourself for not getting enough done, instead congratulate yourself on every small step that you take toward the future you dream of.

 

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Leave your thoughts for Raghavi in the comments below — better yet, start up a dialogue with the Low Entropy community in person at a Conscious Connections meeting or online at our community site. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and YouTube to stay up-to-date with Low Entropy news!

Five Things You Wish Adults Had Told You Before You Became One

Posted on by andrew

Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Sujana Jeganthas drops some knowledge on how to adult, and it has nothing to do with pensions or utilities bills.

 

Whether you are already well into your adulthood or just beginning it, one thing we all have in common is not knowing what being an adult actually means. As teenagers, most of us are told what adults are supposed to be, whether it means having a family by a certain age or having a high-paying job. The one thing adults never tell you is that not everything you know about being an adult is necessarily true. 

 

Looking back at my teenage years, there are things I wish I’d known before adulthood. So, for the teenagers thinking, “I can’t wait to grow up and have a big house,” here are five things I wish I knew when I was your age:

 

  1. Money is not everything

 

For a long time, I was always told that having a job at the age of 16 is important, to save for a car and pay off future school debts. This can feel overwhelming, especially since you are still being told when you can and can’t use the bathroom. After being in-between jobs for so long and finally finding one later on, I realized that money should not be my top priority. Discovering hobbies, making social connections and focusing on your well-being, as well as school, should always come before money. After all, even if money pays your bills and lets you buy things, it isn’t going to satisfy the desire to maintain a healthy mind, body and soul.

 

  1. You don’t need to have children to feel fulfilled in life

 

This was a hard one for me to swallow, especially since I was always taught that having a family is a blessing and an end-goal. Even now, when I tell people I don’t want children, I’m always told that “I will eventually change my mind.” Truthfully, I don’t know if I will change my mind, but what I do know is that, regardless of my decision, it’s a choice that I can only make.

 

If you feel pressured into having children but aren’t sure if you want any, this is a sign telling you it’s okay to not know. There’s more to life than just having a family.

 

  1. Life is not a race, nor a competition.

 

I feel like a lot of people tend to compare their lives to those around them, whether it is on social media or even just wondering if they are working at a slow pace and need to speed up. What most people don’t know is that there are probably lots of people out there who have been married for 15 years but got divorced and others who had a one-night stand and are still together after 30 years of marriage.

 

The point is that life is not about doing specific things by a certain age. It’s about enjoying what life has to offer and allowing good things to come your way, not trying to force it.

 

  1. Life does not end when you become an adult

 

A lot of people hit a certain age where they no longer feel like celebrating their birthday because they are getting “old.” The saying “age is just a number” is especially true when you feel like you’re not young enough to do certain things anymore. In reality, you still have a lot of things to experience before that back pain worsens.

 

  1. It’s okay if you have no idea what you want to do

 

In all honesty, a lot of adults, even those who have been adults for a long time, still have absolutely no clue what they want to do. Indecision is a common affliction when it comes to decisions in adulthood, and a lot of us still feel overwhelmed at the fact that we are just thrown into life and told to figure out how to pay for taxes and debts. 

 

Even if you have no idea what you want to do, pursuing new opportunities and things that interest you will always be the right step forward in figuring that out. Don’t worry about having to find your ideal career within a month of graduating school. Not everything will come as easily as you think. After all, failing to succeed in any pursuit doesn’t mean you’re not good at it – it might simply be a stepping stone that will lead you to your milestone!

 

Do you not have any idea what you want to do? How little of an idea do you have? Take a shot at describing this in the comments section, or try to explain it in front of people (supportive people!) at a Low Entropy meet-up.

The Fearless Art of Changing Your Life

Posted on by andrew

They are common notions, that life-changing experiences occur rarely and require drastic measures. Not so, posits Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Daniel Wilkens. Daniel proposes that, at any time, we are surrounded by a myriad of life-altering, low-barrier opportunities, just waiting to make us into the best versions of ourselves.

 

Sometimes change is forced upon us. Sometimes it’s for the better, but not always. Often we struggle to accept change and have to find ways to deal with new realities. But if we are feeling like we’re spinning our wheels and not getting anywhere, we don’t have to wait for changes to happen and hope they are positive. We can initiate change ourselves, sometimes with very little effort.

 

A number of years ago, I was given the opportunity through work to volunteer at the local high school track for the Relay for Life cancer fundraiser. They were looking for a photographer and, being handy with a camera, I volunteered my services. I was to photograph the event and present them with a digital record of their efforts – no big deal. I didn’t even blink at giving four or five hours to a good cause. I’m so glad I did! 

 

My first year was a real eye-opener. It was one of the biggest events in the town, with multiple teams, dozens of volunteers and hundreds of spectators, donators and well-wishers. There were people present who were cancer survivors themselves. Participants were thrilled that someone was there to take pictures of their accomplishments. Most ended up laughing, posing, being silly and getting family members together for group shots.

 

Did volunteering that one afternoon change my life? Absolutely! I met town council members, business people, entertainers and other photographers. Because of it I got offers to shoot weddings, engagements and sporting competitions. I cemented great friendships. People still recognize me from my time there. I went on to volunteer in this capacity for another seven years.

 

The point is, changing things up doesn’t have to involve a big, scary, complicated commitment. It can be simple and rewarding. Seeking personal growth is not just admirable, it’s essential. And the best part is, you can do it anytime!

 

Think about that – you can change your life at any time. I know so many people who are stuck in ruts. They go to the same job, hang out with the same people, listen to the same music, eat the same food, drive the same route to work – and then wonder why they are bored, listless, uninspired and unhappy. If you don’t like your current circumstance – change it! You can reshape your life in a couple of hours if that’s what you want to do.

 

I’m not suggesting you quit your job, run away and go live off the grid. I am saying that making personal adjustments is quicker and less intimidating than most people realize or are led to believe. Little changes can lead to huge results without jeopardizing your stability. 

 

Everything you know, everyone you meet and everything you do has the potential to change your life. Everything connects to everything else. People come and go (and come back) throughout your life. Never pass up a chance to help someone out for no reason. It’s not just exercising human decency. A junior staff member you help with a minor problem now can resurface as your supervisor at another company years down the road. You will have a built-in good relationship with that person because you once took a few minutes out of your day. Is *that* creating change for yourself? Of course.

 

“It’s not what you know, it’s who you know,” the old saying goes. Personally, I think it’s a good healthy chunk of both. I’m addicted to lifelong learning. You can take online courses on absolutely any topic that exists. Those courses are often reasonably priced and in-depth. For as little as the price of a fast food lunch you can learn Photoshop, how to perform card tricks (fool your friends!), how to cook with white wine and so on. Any knowledge you acquire gives you more tools in your life-changing arsenal. Knowledge gives new layers, new perspectives and new outlooks. A spontaneous remark to an acquaintance about a course you’re taking could spin your life in a whole new direction.

 

Being proactive, interacting with people and searching out new experiences are the best ways I know to make lifelong changes. You may not always know how those changes will manifest – but they’ll happen. Granted, this was all easier a year ago, when you could join a gym, join a theatre group, go on a bus trip, attend a craft workshop, take guitar lessons, get a part time job at the cafe downtown, etc. Hopefully those opportunities will return in some form. And even though we are at this crazy time in our history, it’s still possible to meet new people and make new connections.

 

Network, network, network. Expanding your circle will always pay off. Learn new things, make new friends, believe in yourself and don’t be afraid to change your life for the better.

 

What would you like to do to make your life better? Share your ideas live with others in a Low Entropy meet-up, or simply jot a few words in the comments below!