Category: Life

Long to Stay

Posted on by andrew

Max Rodriguez (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

This has been the trickiest, most weird year I have ever had. So many things I used to believe in for my whole life were suddenly not what I expected. I could honestly write a thousand blogs about everything I had to go through when I moved to Canada, but today I just want to share my perspective about my experience growing older, becoming an adult, and experiencing the world as it is for the first time.

 

Do you remember when you were a kid and wanted to become an astronaut? Maybe you wanted to be a veterinarian because you loved puppies, or maybe you played soccer with your friends every day to be just like your favorite player. Then you probably learned about computers and all you wanted to do was to be a singer, or an actor/actress, or I don’t know, change the world?

 

My career assessment stopped at this point, I suppose. My whole world was drawing and taking pictures, so that had to be my career, right? An artist. Well it is my career, it’s all I know how to do and the only thing that makes sense at this point in my life, but I had my doubts.

 

I grew up in the beautiful city of Bogotá, Colombia, but it is not common for people to think that it is a good place to live in. Not many people love or respect my hometown, and for a long time neither did I. My dream was to become a filmmaker in this perfect city called Vancouver. In my last year of high school, I found out I was very good at math and that I loved science. My heart started to long to stay in my small and simple life, and I guess that if school had finished a week after, I wouldn’t be writing this. But my 17-year-old self was drunk with power. She wanted to leave and be surrounded by this big industry’s air, she wanted everyone to know her name, she wanted to be busy and prove a lot of things to a lot of people.

 

Two years later, after taking my leap of faith, I learned the meaning of the word “burnout.” I was extremely lost, tired and lonely, and I didn’t know who I was anymore. All I could think about was going home, hugingging my mom, doing stupid things with my friends and never hearing the word “Vancouver” ever again. I was so scared, all I knew was that I wanted to get into college, but I didn’t know what to do after it. Wait, are you telling me that my grades are worth nothing? That graduating with honors doesn’t open doors? That all the people who I helped in college are just going to move on without me? Are you telling me that people are not going to give me the jobs I’m applying to? That student loans must be paid?! That I must get groceries every time I run out of food?!?

 

I couldn’t handle it. I went straight back home, leaving everything behind.

 

But then I was home . . . and two years had passed without me. My room wasn’t my room anymore, that delicious ice cream I used to eat all the time tasted like butter, my allergies came back and the medications I used to take for them made me sleepy again. Mom was busy with my sister, my friends were hanging out with their new friends, passing cars didn’t stop when I was crossing the street and . . . I realized I wasn’t part of their lives anymore. This wasn’t 2019, it was 2021. I was not the person who left two years ago. My place was in that city I hated because of all the pressure I put myself under . . . all my hard work and burnout would be worthless if I didn’t go back. 

 

Then I started watching a series on Netflix called Maid and I realized that this is what life is about, breaking and building ourselves over and over, until we know how to handle it. Until we learn how to cook our lunch, until we know how to handle rejection, until we figure out how to accept ourselves and our lives. It’s not supposed to be easy . . . it’s supposed to be what it is meant to be. We’re supposed to fall until we learn how to fly, and I guess it’s about living as many experiences as possible so we can share them with people and maybe encourage them to keep going, cause maybe, just maybe . . .

 

What we need isn’t what we want, and you just must find out by walking a few uncomfortable steps further.

 

—

 

Max Rodriguez is a Colombian and Canadian who is an unstoppable artist with a strong passion for filmmaking.

Festival Days

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Prateek Sur (he/him/his), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

In a fast-paced and growing Indian society, we are becoming more and more westernised. I am not saying that it’s a bad thing, but the influence has creeped in so much that there are certain things which we now prefer to do like the westerners do, and the generations to follow would never know that that particular thing was never a part of Indian culture and traditions. Amidst all the changes to our lives that we make in our quest to become more “modern,” there is one thing that we Indians have consistently cherished with all our heart: our festivals!

 

I remember vividly that, during my childhood in the small town of Jamshedpur, India, every festival used to be celebrated with full fervour. Whether it was Republic Day, Holi, Eid, Independence Day, Ganesh Puja, Paryushan, Durga Puja, Dussehra, Kali Puja, Diwali, Christmas or New Year’s Day, we used to celebrate it with a lot of zest and fun. But as you grow older, you start getting bowed down with the burdens of responsibilities and soon that youthful energy of childhood celebrations fades out.

 

But these last two years, with the pandemic setting in and people not being able to venture outdoors that much, families have been forced to spend these festivals together. This has sort of brought back the days gone past. An era, which had hardly been stepped on since the past decade and a half, has suddenly been lit up once again.

 

I have personally not been able to spend that much time with my family during the festivals, because being a writer and a journalist, you’re usually working on those festival days. However, the last year and a half of the pandemic has prompted people like me to work from home, and thereby be at least present for the festivals with family. Even though I did work this time as well, I was at least in front of my family, and that itself is enough for an Indian family. We cling to the slightest glimmer of hope of being able to spend some family time together.

 

Also, the festivals help people like me, who were born and brought up in smaller towns and are now living in the metro cities, to get back to their roots. Even though we are not always able to go back to our hometowns, we are at least able to celebrate the festivities in the same way that we used to in our small towns, and therefore get a taste of nostalgia for those few days. For example, being a Bengali who is mostly vegetarian, I love to crave and binge on non-vegetarian food during the 10-day festivities of the Durga Puja. Also, I try to get the delicacies from authentic restaurants that prepare Bengali cuisine. It helps me get in touch with my childhood days of being in Jamshedpur.

 

Another major aspect of the festivals is the traditional attire. I love to sport traditional outfits on festival days. It not only helps me rekindle the festival spirit, but also helps me tell friends in Mumbai about different stories associated with wearing traditional outfits during my childhood days in Jamshedpur. The memories get relieved every year while talking to friends, neighbours and others.

 

What I absolutely love about the city of Mumbai is that its cosmopolitan crowd enjoys and celebrates every festival. Whether you’re a Punjabi or you’re a Bengali or you’re a Tamilian or you’re Odia or you’re Kashmiri or you’re Keralite or you’re Assamese, you will end up seeing a bunch of people ready to celebrate the same festival that you wish to. And the spirit of Mumbai is such that people who don’t even know about a certain regional festival come together and try to join in the celebration with their friends and neighbours. It’s a joyous coming together of different cultures. A mix of the good things of each regional festival leaves a mark of its own, and people end up remembering the occasion for life.

 

Another great aspect of the Indian festivals is that they help you connect with your far-off relatives. As a custom every year, on the day of Dussehra or Vijay Dashami, which is the last day of Durga Puja, I call up all my relatives and wish them a happy year ahead. I don’t need to do it, but I have seen my parents do it every year during my childhood, and it’s a custom that I have also followed. I know I should call up my relatives more often, but in the rat race of Mumbai’s city life, you’re bound to not get enough time for keeping up relationships. But on this day of Vijay Dashami, every year, I call up all my relatives. It’s like spending an entire evening with them all and reliving past memories. It helps me get to know where they are in their respective lives, how they’re doing, and if everyone is doing well health-wise. It makes me relive the childhood moments that I may have spent with each one of them, and it gives me a chance to just peek into the past for an evening and before returning to the reality of the busy city life.

 

I know we can’t run the wheel of time backwards and get back the good old childhood days, but whenever I do need to lay a limpid glance on my growing up years, these festivals definitely help me take the necessary peek. It’s as if the festivals are the time machine, and I just need to hop on it to get back to the times when adulthood had not yet creeped in and you’re still surrounded by the joys and pleasures of being a kid without any of the worldly worries of life.

 

—

 

My name is Prateek Sur and I am a daydreamer by birth, a mechanical engineer by chance, and an idiot by choice. A hardcore movie buff, working as a film critic and enjoying life as a Bollywood reporter. Helping people get through career troubles and giving advice from personal experiences. A voracious reader, and a passionate singer at heart. An extrovert at heart, and an introvert in the mind. Well, that chaos is pretty much me!

Dating in the 21st Century

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Terence MacLaine (he/him/his), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Back in the day, we didn’t have apps like Tinder, Bumble, etc . . .

 

If you wanted to meet someone, you had to make the effort of actually going outside & socializing with others where/when you would learn the art of human interaction & social cues like manners, body language, courtesy, etc . . .

 

But to form relationships, you had to go out to social gatherings like clubs, bars & parties.

 

Today, we see and treat each other as little more than items. And not as in: “You two are an item.” I mean literally as items that we select off a shelf from a grocery store with no more consideration than the price. 

 

This is the average date today: Swipe till you like. You both match. Text to meet. Meet at their place. Ghost. Next, please . . .

 

It’s that simple. And that tragic. 

 

This ghosting thing, that’s the real watermark of today. Part of the cost of a relationship, or just hookup, used to be the breakup scene. You (some at least) had to consider the feelings of the other person if/when you didn’t want to see the other person anymore. You had to call them, or at least leave them a note the next morning, but there was some personal accountability at least.

 

Now, you simply ghost with no consideration of the other person’s feelings, simply because it’s easier. No thought of what or how the other person may feel. They have no way of knowing what they did wrong. Or if you’re even alive. You could have been in an accident, or run over – who knows? But rather than considering the feelings of the other person, we just instantly cut the line, sometimes causing YEARS of emotional scarring. All because you couldn’t be bothered.

 

No wonder the world is such a mess today. How can we be happy when we treat each other like that? When our socializing & interacting with each other is reduced to words on a phone, how could it possibly get worse? We’ve taken the human out of humanity & replaced it with algorithms. We ARE the machine.

 

I leave you then with one last scenario, witnessed by yours truly a few years ago. A local coffee shop was hosting a singles day, which on the surface seemed like a great idea. I happened to walk by & saw the shop was pretty much full with every seat taken. Obviously, the idea was a success. 

 

I looked in & what I saw was people sitting across from each other, each and every one of them texting with someone instead of interacting with the person sitting across from them.

 

At no time have we ever been more connected.

 

And yet, at no time have we ever been so alone.

 

—

Terence MacLaine is a writer and blogger from Vancouver, BC. He has a lifetime of experiences set against the backdrop of beautiful British Columbia, and brings his stories to the world in his blog, The Adventures of Yesteryear (theadventureofmemories.wordpress.com).

Video Gaming and Mental Health: It’s Super Effective

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Blaine Hancock (he/him/his), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Let’s face it – life can be pretty hard sometimes. It can be incredibly draining on your mental health to have to juggle a job, family, friends, school, errands, etc. The question is, what can we do to help lower our stress and keep our mental health in check?

 

I’m sure you know of several different strategies such as exercising, listening to your favorite songs and eating healthy foods. However, have you ever considered that playing video games may be an excellent way to lower your stress and help your mental health? Now, I’m not saying you shouldn’t do the other strategies I listed (because you definitely should), but it may be wise to consider gaming as a strategy too! Here are just a handful of the positive effects video games can have on your mental health.

 

Note: This article only applies to a low-to-moderate amount of gaming. Playing video games too often may not be great for your mental health. Just like everything else in life, moderation is key!

 

Lower Anxiety (Brief Escape)

 

First and foremost, playing video games can help you escape your daily grind and lower your anxiety. Video games provide a source of fun that can often be lacking in life. They transport you to a world where you, and maybe a few friends, are able to run, jump, explore, discover and have amazing times! This brief escape into a realm of fun can help calm your mental health and may provide you with more perspective on your current life stressors.

 

Sense of Accomplishment

 

After beating a tough video game level you’ve tried to complete a dozen times, you feel a sense of accomplishment that is absolutely unrivalled. This feeling can do wonders for your positivity and confidence levels, which in turn can completely revamp your mental health. This sense of accomplishment can also come from simply completing minor tasks that help to progress you in a game. Keep completing those quests and rebuild your mental health at the same time!

 

Increase Creativity

 

One interesting positive effect of video games is their ability to spark creativity. Video games often contain incredibly creative art/visuals, music and writing. Hearing and seeing these interesting works can inspire you to add some creativity to your own life! This creativity could be as big as wanting to create your own video game, or as small as simply wanting to add a bit more color to your wardrobe. Either way, feeling more creative and passionate about something is an awesome way to combat mental health struggles.

 

Strengthen Social Connections

 

Creating new social connections or building on established ones always has a positive impact on your mental health. One way of helping to create new social connections or build on old ones is to throw some video games into the mix. Adding video games into a social setting creates a common element for everyone to talk about and have fun bonding over. Also, video games are often a casual enough activity that you all can discuss your lives/stressors while still gaming together and enjoying one another’s company. Social connections can be strengthened and your happiness will skyrocket!

 

At this point, you may be thinking to yourself, “What are a few video games I could play to experience some of these positive effects?” My three suggestions are Animal Crossing: New Horizons, Stardew Valley and Super Mario Party. You will have an absolute blast with these three games, and your stress levels will surely lower. Best of luck in your mental health/video game journey!

 

—

 

Leave your thoughts for Blaine in the comments below – better yet, start up a dialogue with the Low Entropy community in person, at a Conscious Connections meeting or online at our community site. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and YouTube to stay up-to-date with Low Entropy news!

Alone with Everybody

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Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Connie Wong describes how solitude can be just as valuable as friendship.

 

I have enjoyed hanging out with my friends since elementary school. With friends, you are less worried about walking alone awkwardly and they can be there when you feel bored and need company. By middle school, we had around ten people who always gathered together to share our thoughts and feelings within our group.

 

There is endless fun within a group, but they can also create problems simultaneously: you could easily feel left out if you’re the shy kid in the group. As well, sometimes you want to fit in, but it can be time-consuming to participate. Being involved in group activities can take up my study time, or just the moments that I wish to spend alone quietly. 

 

Later, as I graduated from middle school, I went to a new high school where the students had already known each other for two years before I transferred. It wasn’t challenging for me to find a friend there, but I was hoping to find a friend group like I previously had. I started to glance at each corner of the school and see where I could fit in.

 

Eventually, after a long observation, I decided to give up because, in my opinion, none of the groups I saw felt welcoming. The in-group bias made their friendships stronger and more connected inside, and it was clear what they might look for in new members. I understood because that’s what I would have thought back in middle school.

 

I decided to stay at school as little as I could to avoid being an outlier who did not belong to any of the friend groups. One day I needed to ask questions before an important exam. As soon as I was done with the question I went to the library, where everyone was told to sit alone for social distancing. This place was absolutely a shelter for me to conceal my awkwardness.

 

I took out my supplies and turned to look out the library windows: many students were sitting outside by themselves. Some were reading books, some were enjoying their lunch, and some were just confidently walking around in the school.

 

“Don’t they feel awkward when they see others gather as a group and they look left out?” I wondered.

 

I stared at them for a few more minutes, and I answered myself.

 

“No, they’re perfectly fine without a friend beside them.”

 

If I didn’t grow up as part of a group, I might have felt more natural spending my time alone in public. However, being alone after spending most of my time with the group was a nightmare for me. It made me feel like a lonely performer on a stage. Seeing others living perfectly fine without friends around them helped me release my tension, and I gradually learned to be confident by myself in a crowd.

 

Everyone has a choice in whether to join a group or work alone. I’m not an introvert or an extrovert: I’m a person who loves being both and trying to balance them. Spending too much time socializing is exhausting for me, but it is also difficult for me to stay at home for more than three days.

 

Friendships can play important roles in our life, but allowing them to take over your schedule is not healthy. Learning to be alone is essential because you never know when you might be separated from your friends. Always stay patient and calm when you need to go through some time alone. Only that will make your friendships grow stronger.

Are you an introvert or extrovert? An ambivert, maybe? An omnivert, perhaps? Or maybe you’re something else entirely? Let us know in the comments below, or join our community platform to make a whole bunch of instant connections! And whoever you are, we appreciate you!

Dear Victoria

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In a love letter to his favourite place, Low Entropy Writer Mike Vaness shares with us how Vancouver Island captured his heart.

 

When you think of your favourite place, is it hard to narrow it down to a single choice? Everyone has their favourite place to relax, their favourite restaurant or their favourite holiday spot where they can get away from everyday life. Whenever I think about my parents’ home on Vancouver Island, I get an immediate yearning to go there. The pandemic has made it difficult to travel outside my home province of British Columbia, yet even prior to the restrictions Vancouver Island was still my top choice. While the appeal of visiting my family is strong, there are so many other aspects I enjoy about Vancouver Island that make it my go-to dream destination. 

 

So, what is it about Vancouver Island, and Victoria specifically, that I find so relaxing and enjoyable? I believe it has to do with the journey as a whole: it starts with a ferry ride that brings a lot of the fun and enjoyment to the overall experience. I have always loved being on the water, and even when it’s on a large ship, there is just something fun, new, and exciting about it. Whether I am relaxing in the indoor seating area or the outside deck of the ship, I can watch our destination come into view as we maneuver around the smaller islands with a sensation of exploration and adventure. It always feels like a new experience, and it really helps take me out of my everyday routine and brings me into the moment of not only where I am, but where I’m going. 

 

Once I arrive on the island, I like the fact that I am familiar enough with the location that I can make my way around, but enough time has passed for any changes to be new and exciting, and I revel in that sense of discovery. Vancouver Island has such a different look and feel to mainland British Columbia, where on the island everything seems to be a bit slower-paced and smaller in scale. Even when driving through the busier and denser parts of Victoria, BC’s capital city has a uniquely distinct feeling compared to that of Vancouver. I really enjoy this difference: you get the feeling that everyone there is just moving around at their own pace. Victoria is large enough to have a wide variety of businesses and landmarks, but yet it is still small enough so that you don’t have to spend hours walking to any one destination. Furthermore, the atmosphere on the island is much more old-fashioned, and the buildings and the appearance of the city is far less modern. Much of Victoria has maintained the look it had from the 19th century, and the city is flooded with history.

 

Every time you walk down the streets you can still see the history written in the very buildings and their architecture. The provincial government’s legislative buildings as a tourist attraction right in the heart of downtown certainly helps to preserve the overall image of the city. Further out, you can still feel the influence of the British colonial settlers, especially when it comes to the many old-style pubs with names like Six Mile Pub and Four Mile House – as these kinds of establishments acted as inns for the original roadway through the interior of the island. It seems everywhere you turn there is something of historical significance, and Vancouver Island embraces this. 

 

So, while the city of Victoria itself is very nice and has a great energy about it, of course the main reason that I love going to the island is to spend time with my family. When I spend time with my family, life just has a different feel to it: I don’t have to deal with nearly as many adult responsibilities and I am flooded with nostalgic emotions from when I was growing up. Now, I do believe that these emotions may have been amplified recently since the world has fallen into this pandemic, and I have not been able to see my family in over a year and a half. I now have a new appreciation for the old adage “Absence makes the heart grow fonder!” With that in mind, I do still love every moment that I am on the island: going out to eat at any of the incredible old-fashioned pubs, visiting the lovely gardens or wandering around the historic downtown core. I love being there and I do hope that one day I can make Vancouver Island my home. Until then, every time I visit I think: I’m going back to my favourite place.

What’s your favourite place? Reminisce with members of the Low Entropy community on our community platform, or join a Conscious Connections meeting to share your memories!

Healing Nature

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Even if you aren’t the outdoorsy type, being in nature – just for a little while – might still be beneficial to your mental health. Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Teagan Sliz writes on the growing awareness of the natural world’s curative properties.

 

Your neck muscles unscrunch, the tightness in your chest begins to subside, your thoughts become clear and your mind tranquil. All you have done is stepped foot into a forest, waded into a lake or merely wandered into your backyard. Your senses are awakened by the splendid sights, sounds and scents of the natural environment ─ the sweet aroma of damp soil, a canopy of green pierced by rays of golden light, the cheerful sound of birds chirping ─ and you are overcome by a profound feeling of serene calm. 

 

For millennia, humans have intuitively known that nature has restorative effects on one’s well-being. After all, for the majority of our species’ history, our lives have been closely intertwined with the natural world. This is why we go on walks to clear our minds and travel to lake houses, campgrounds or tropical beaches in order to “reset.” In recent decades, however, science has begun to confirm and explain what we intuitively know to be true.

 

Shinrin-yoku is a Japanese term which translates to “forest bathing.” In his 2018 article for Time Magazine, Dr. Qing Li, who studies the health benefits of forest bathing, describes this practice as “bathing in the forest atmosphere, or taking in the forest through our senses.” Dr. Li explains that the purpose of forest bathing is to bridge the gap between us and the natural world by simply being in nature ─ connecting with it through our senses of sight, hearing, taste, smell and touch. Through his research, Dr. Li has found that forest bathing reduces pulse rate, increases vigor and relaxation, and decreases feelings of anxiety, depression and fatigue. Dr. Li even found that these nature walks produce elevated levels of Natural Killer or NK cells in the immune system, which fight tumors and infections. 

 

What is more intriguing is just how easy it is to reap the benefits of the miracle drug that is nature. In a 2019 study led by Mathew White of the European Centre for Environment & Human Health, it was concluded that it takes a mere two hours a week of time spent in green spaces for individuals to report higher levels of good health and well-being.

 

These findings come as no surprise to me. Growing up, I was fortunate enough to have a cottage to which my family would make weekend trips in the summer months. On our trips north, as the distance between us and the city grew and we entered into the rural farmlands that sat quietly just north of the Greater Toronto Area, I remember feeling great elation as I sat in the back seat knowing what was to come. My memories of the cottage consist of swimming in the lake, hiking through the woods to hidden waterfalls, playing make-believe games with my cousins and sister in the forest, and watching sunsets from the dock. These memories, which all took place in nature, are some of my happiest. My cottage continues to be a place where I can go, not only to escape the stresses of urban life, but from which I return rejuvenated and restored. 

 

Though I am fortunate to have these cherished memories, the sad reality is that myself and others are severely lacking sustained interaction with the natural environment. At a time when the profound benefits of immersing oneself in nature are coming to light, we as a society have never been so disconnected from the natural world. In fact, in his article, Dr. Li notes that by 2050, 66 per cent of the world’s population is projected to live in cities, and that the average American spends 93 per cent of their time indoors. 

 

So what is to be done?

 

On the individual level, we can all stand to spend more time in nature. Seeing as we only need two hours of time spent in nature per week, it is hard to find an excuse not to. However, for those who live in city centers, many of which are lacking substantial green space, this can be a difficult task. Hope, however, is not lost. As concerns increase surrounding our nature-deficient, technology-heavy modern lifestyle, government officials, policymakers and citizens are pushing for change. 

 

In an article by Jim Robbins published at the Yale School of the Environment, he explores efforts “aimed at bringing nature into people’s everyday lives.” Robbins discusses how cities are adding or enhancing parks, and schools and other institutions are being designed with large windows and access to trees and green space. Robbins also notes how the number of “forest schools” — which have long been a tradition in Scandinavia and where much of the learning takes place in natural, outdoor settings — have mushroomed in the United States, up by 500 per cent since 2012.

 

It is undeniable that being in nature makes us feel good. Recent studies confirm this and reveal to us that nature provides the human mind and body with more health benefits than we could ever imagine. It is what we decide to do with this information that will be the true determinate of our health. So, take any chance you can get to go on a walk, bathe in a forest and inhale that sweet, healing scent of nature. 

 

What do you like to do outdoors? Share your hobbies and ideas with us in the comments below, or talk about your plans for the summer on our Low Entropy community website!

Pause.

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With a remarkably simple method, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Christie Gan nurtures optimism for each oncoming day.

 

Time is money.

 

Each and every second counts. I’ve been there, whether I’m rushing an assignment the night before it’s due, fulfilling customer orders at a cafe, trying to motivate a child I tutor to finish an essay before I leave or hurrying to meet a friend on time when she lives more than an hour away (her time is money, too).

 

However, despite the hustle of each day, I don’t wake up ready to get things done. Instead, I stay in bed and stare at the ceiling.

 

Each day is like a new song to me. But before it begins to play, I press pause.

 

Why?

 

As I’ve gotten older, constantly racing against the clock has taken its toll on me. While trying to balance my studies, work, social life, extracurriculars and health, at least two of these things have suffered on rotation. I’ve learned to accept things like grades that fall short of my expectations, lost sleep and friends who become frustrated with me for not making enough time for them. I push forward regardless, but . . . 

 

I’m human. 

 

I get tired when I don’t rest, which is what happens most days. I’m human, but I feel more robotic than ever when I work nonstop. Sometimes, I just want to do nothing.

 

Do I have the time to do nothing?

 

No. 

 

But I make time. I don’t have the time to do nothing during the day, so I make time before it happens. (I would say that sleep is that time for doing nothing, but even in my sleep, I tend to dream about my responsibilities.)

 

Those five, 10 and sometimes even 30 minutes in bed are often the only morsels of time I get to just breathe. I know what’s in store; it’s all in my head the night before, minutes before my head hits my pillow. It’s always something along the lines of this: 

 

“Okay, tomorrow, I’ve got a psychology exam and my contemporary art project presentation . . . I have to study for my other psychology exam, but I have to finish those research assistant applications too . . . oh, right, I’ll have to drag myself to the opening cafe shift first thing in the morning. I should really call Sarah, we’ve barely been able to talk for the past two weeks. But my parents are probably going to call me so I won’t be able to talk to her, will I? Oh well, guess I have to disappoint her again. And isn’t my essay due tomorrow too? I mean, I know it’s done but I’m way over the word limit.”

 

I sigh deeply, knock out, and then the reminder that there’s a tornado of activity to come hurtles at me the moment I peel my eyes open the next morning (or, to be more accurate, the same morning — I’m a certified night owl). It’s definitely a “Honey, you’ve got a big storm coming” moment.

 

It would probably be best for me to get the day started after five to 10 minutes of being awake, especially when there’s so much to do. But I stay snuggled under the covers, having a staring match with an expanse of white blanket hovering above me . . . and I stop thinking.

 

I stop thinking about what I have to do.

 

What does that do for me?

 

It helps reset my mind. (As I mentioned, my dreams are unfortunately haunted by my life obligations, so sleep doesn’t do this for me.)

 

What do I get out of this?

 

A few minutes into not thinking, I let my mind drift to possible scenarios that could unfold during my day. Not what could go wrong, but nice things that might happen.

 

I imagine things like snacking on a free scone behind the cafe counter, a friend laughing at a joke I make on the way to class or feeling relieved for answering every question at the end of my exam. 

 

When these scenarios play out in my head, my lips curl into a genuine grin and my heart fills with warmth, anticipation and excitement. By the time my second alarm goes off, I’m ready.

 

I’m ready because now, I’m looking forward to these little moments that will get me through the day.

 

I’m ready because even if only one positive thing happens, I’ll notice and make the most of it. People say it’s bad to have your head in the clouds all the time, but if I let it happen for just a few minutes, I imagine moments I can find joy in. Now I have focused my mind to pay attention to the little things, be it a smile from a customer or the warmth of the sun on my skin. 

 

Even if things don’t go perfectly, there’ll be something to be happy about. I know it’ll be okay.

 

Now I press play, and my day begins.

 

Time is money, but life is too short for us to forget we’re only human. Before the day begins, you might want to pause and breathe, even if just for a while. Imagine all these moments, no matter how small, that you can find joy in during your day, and start your day with a fresh, optimistic mind. I hope you find this just as rewarding as I do.

 

What joyful moments have you experienced recently? Let us know in the comments below, or weave it into a dialogue with other positive folks on the Low Entropy community platform! 

In Interesting Times

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How long will you slide? When something awful happens and it seems like you can’t stop feeling like you did that day, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Mike Vaness has some words of advice to get you to the other side.

 

Have you heard that it’s an ancient curse to say, “May you live in interesting times”? While our lives are full of routines and ruts, doing the same thing day in and day out, some people find security and comfort in a predictable life, while others cannot stand it. However, no one ever expects to have everything you know change all in one day – in one instant. No one is prepared for the shocking moment when you find out you were adopted; the moment when police officers are at your door looking for you; the moment when your doctor declares that you have a serious illness; the moment when you catch a glimpse of a car as it slams into the side of your vehicle. You are overwhelmed: “What’s going on! This can’t be happening! Why me! This always happens to someone else!” These are the things you hear about in gossip about others, about someone else. The thing we forget is that to everyone else in the world, you are the “someone else.”

 

Yet in these moments, and despite our greatest wishes, life somehow continues on; your story isn’t over. The light from that ever-stubborn sun creeps through the curtains in your room, and you wake up. Another day has come, despite your most stringent protests to the contrary. Time is indomitable: it does not stand still, and that is probably for the best. The following days, weeks, or even months are tough to endure. You have to deal with things that you wished you never would, but I can assure you: it is best to confront these head on as becoming avoidant will only delay the inevitable. Now, yes I can hear you saying, “Oh sure, it’s easy to just say that, but how do I make it work?” But you can always be assured of two things. One: tomorrow will always come, no matter what you are dealing with, and with it comes the chance of new beginnings. Two: no matter how bad things are, no matter how hard things seem, everything comes to an end. This second one may seem a little dark, but remember, this ending also applies to all the sadness, anger and frustration you are feeling. 

 

I’ve personally experienced this. Initially it felt like there was nothing that could help, that my entire life was over and that there was no coming out the other side. This is how things can feel: that your entire life is swallowed up by this large and imposing reality – but there are some things that I felt helped me, slowly but steadily, emerge from these overwhelming feelings. The first was to take stock of what I did still have. I still had my partner, my friends and my family to support me. I still had my home, a place where I could feel safe and comfortable. These were things that were present in my life previously, and they had not changed. I reminded myself that I still had agency and control over some aspects of my life. I started to remind myself of what I still could do for myself, and did not take anything for granted. I could still cook for myself, I could still decide what my space looked like, I could go out for a walk when I wanted to. While these on their own do not seem like much, they allowed me to feel like I had some control over my life, and every small step can have a big impact. 

 

Furthermore, please do not feel that you have to go through this process alone! There will always be someone you can reach out to for help. Even if you lose some people who are close to you, there are always options, like Low Entropy. There will always be people who will be willing to meet you with open arms and helping hands. Despite how hard it can be to seek company when you are feeling lost and depressed, being around people who you trust and love will help push you forward. 

 

I know that this article is just scraping the surface of what it is like to go through an emotionally and physically difficult time in your life, but if you’ve read this far, I can assure you that there are brighter days ahead. While your life may have changed in ways that you could never have expected, it’s just that: a change. It’s not an end. The best thing about change is that it allows you to have experiences and live a life you never thought possible. I know that, while my life took a turn I didn’t expect, it has allowed me to assess the positive things I have, and make other changes for the better, so there has been some good that has come from the experience – and I am grateful for that. 

 

We’re grateful for Mike Vaness. And rainbows! And ducklings! There’s just so much – help us out! What are you grateful for? Build on our list in the comments, on our other social media channels or at a Low Entropy meet-up!

Take Action

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Are you miserable? You should change that. How about today? Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Grace Cheng shows you how.

 

Do you sometimes feel trapped in life and feel everyone is moving ahead except for you?

 

A lot of us feel unhappy or frustrated and think we have no control over our lives. But we do have the power to change our lives by simply putting our thoughts into action. 

 

The hardest part of converting our thoughts into action is taking the first step. Sometimes we do not want to take the first step because we fear failing. We need to be more bold and courageous to step out of our comfort zone and see changes happen in our lives. If we do not take action, nothing will change. We will wonder why we are still facing the same situation 10 or 20 years from now and feel even more miserable. We are responsible for our lives, and no one can walk our lives for us. We are the only ones who can change things for ourselves, so take action today.

 

I have discovered eight ways to turn thoughts into action and transform lives to find fulfillment and happiness.

 

  1. Don’t overthink with negativity

 

I think we have all been there, stuck in a situation, going in circles, paralyzed with fear and frustrations. It is very unproductive and toxic to constantly overthink. We can replace our negative thoughts with positive thoughts that will bring more joy, peace and self-love in our lives. Dream about all of the wonderful things that can happen in your life and keep those thoughts. We can create freedom for ourselves when we are in a happier state of life.

 

  1. Don’t allow past failures to hold you back

 

Just because you might have failed in the past does not mean that you will fail again and things will not work out next time. Don’t let your fear or past failure put you off of doing something that you want to do. Fear can victimize us and stop us from seeking true happiness, keeping us feeling trapped. It is important to remember that there is always an opportunity for a new beginning. Every opportunity can be a wonderful and unique experience, and is only available to you, not somebody else.

 

  1. Don’t wait for a perfect time to do things

 

If we wait for a perfect time to do things and want everything to turn out perfectly, we only create unnecessary stress for ourselves. We end up paralyzing ourselves, holding ourselves back from reaching our goals and dreams. Aiming for perfection is simply not realistic and not practical. It is not a smart move and only hinders us from moving ahead.

 

  1. Your life view can become self-fulfilling prophecy

 

There is a saying that our outlook will determine the way we live, so make sure you have a positive view of life. Your mind is a powerful tool, and shapes whether you see life negatively or positively. Positive self-talk can empower us to achieve our dream lives. This self-talk can also help us to remain calm and positive, which will make our life journey easier to walk.

 

  1. Set realistic life goals and dreams

 

It is important that we don’t make unrealistic life goals and set the bar too high for ourselves. Setting standards too high can lead to a stressful life, with constant disappointments and frustrations. When you want to set achievable, realistic goals, you can simply start with an honest examination of your life work from there toward the directions that you want to take. If it is too difficult to reach a few goals, then start with just one goal at a time so that you can have control and not get discouraged.

 

  1. Don’t be enslaved to social standards

 

Many of us live our lives following societal standards, or expectations from our family and friends. We are suffering inside because we feel trapped living up to their expectations. But you have a choice to stand up for yourself and take full control over your life by doing things that make you happy, rather than blindly following the social norms. There is a chance that you will find friends and family who don’t accept or understand the direction or path of your life, but that is ok. You will eventually find other people who will understand you and form some meaningful friendships and connections. More importantly, you will blaze a happier and more fulfilling life.

 

  1. Learn how to say no to people

 

Sometimes it is hard to say no to others, especially to those who are close to us, like our family members, because we feel obligated to help them. If we say yes to people all the time, we will stress ourselves out and eventually feel burned out. It can be dangerous if we are constantly filling our lives doing work for others and neglecting self-care. The next time someone asks you to do something, pause for a moment before saying yes and analyze whether it is meeting your life’s purpose.

 

  1. Follow your passion and pursue a fulfilling life

 

There is no other person who knows you better than yourself, so it is up to you to make decisions and choices for the direction of your life. Following your passions will give you a great sense of purpose, and your dreams and goals can become a reality.

 

If you are not taking any action to make changes today, chances are you will remain facing the same situation and feeling trapped. You do have the power to take control over your life, by taking actionable steps to regain control and create freedom for your life, and improve your physical, emotional and mental well-being. You can identify which area of your life is holding you back and use the above-recommended advice to overcome your challenges and turn your life around.

What new and exciting directions do you want to take with your life? Let us know in the comments below, or join our community and see what everybody else at Low Entropy is up to as well!

All at Sea

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The Wellerman didn’t exactly bring sugar and tea and rum this time, but as Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Mike Vaness details, it did kick off an online phenomenon that brought creativity and togetherness to a population craving connection.

 

Could we have predicted the recent online popularity of the sea shanty? This is a style of song that was originally made popular on 19th-century sailing ships and has recently blown up, with many people putting their own spin to the classic song on social media. But what exactly is a sea shanty? Where did it originate? And why has it become so appealing to those of us landbound, in the modern day? Well, I would like to take this time to open your eyes to this recent internet craze, give a very brief history of the style, and explore why so many people are now having fun creating and singing some of these old tunes.

 

As its name suggests, the sea shanty originated on large sailing ships that had crews of men numbering in the dozens – and occasionally into the hundreds! In the 19th century, sailing was a great deal different than what we know today, and duties were all done manually, such as hoisting the sales, manning the capstan (a winch used to hoist the anchor), hauling rope and even rowing for some ships. It was imperative for efficiency that the men work in unison, and the steady rhythm of these songs helped maintain their timing, strength and stamina. Many of the men working these jobs had to endure long working days, poor food, low nutrition and miserable sleeping conditions. Despite these quality issues, ships where the crew was allowed to sing found that the sea shanty greatly helped the timing of the working day – not to mention a becoming a free method of entertainment, a way to help pass the time and a mutual bonding experience for the whole crew. 

 

So, what does all of this mean for us today? We are able to work independently and sometimes remotely, and with the amount of automation available, large labour crews are far less common in the 21st century. One working theory about the sea shanty’s new popularity is that it is usually a very catchy and simple tune! You do not need to be a particularly talented singer in order to participate, as the strength of the song is not about the melody, but about the rhythm and pace. This simplicity allows anyone – regardless of their level of skill – the ability to participate. In addition, the collective and choral nature of the song brings the singers into a single uniting rhythm, which conveys a feeling of togetherness and cooperation. We’ve seen that a group of people can set up a multi-person call, and everyone can contribute not only vocals, but also instrumentation, percussion or elsewise adding their own personal flavour to the song. The music only becomes richer with the more personalities that add to it.

 

Recently, one of the most popular songs online has been the whaling song, “The Wellerman”. This was made popular not too long ago by a solo performance hosted on the video site TikTok. Since then, many talented people have added to the first video, and now all kinds of people are posting their own versions. This creative imperative is what is great about these folk songs: there is no “correct” version. You can even create a song in the same vein as “The Wellerman”, but you can make your own lyrics, change the topic, add different instruments or whatever you want! This adaptability has really helped this type of song gain unexpected popularity – you can get anyone and everyone involved in the act. This collaborative effort creates exactly the type of song where you do not need to be particularly experienced or talented in order to have a lot of fun. If you want, you can sit on a Zoom call with friends, have either a musical track running or – even better – have someone play instruments, and just have a good time enjoying singing live with your friends. This isn’t karaoke – this is your own music, your own creation, and the more personality you put into it, the better it becomes.

 

Sea shanties seem even more fun and powerful when experienced with a full group of people. The collective experience draws upon the roots of the music: the rhythm and timing of men working on a ship, putting voice to daily complaints and injustices and then drawing a bit of joy from the collaboration of their peers. Many of us in the present day could benefit from this direct sense of togetherness, particularly in these times of isolation. We all remember fondly the time we could get together with our friends and break out in song. As these talented musicians we’ve seen on TikTok and YouTube have demonstrated, even for those who are not as musically inclined, this is a great way to feel closer to your friends or family. Music has a particular way of bringing people together – even in times where we are literally being instructed to stay apart. So the next time you are feeling lonely and want to find something that helps you connect with your important people? Try drawing on the old-time sea shanty, and belt out a tune with your friends!

 

Did you know that Low Entropy has a TikTok account? Maybe we could collaborate on another viral hit – check us out there or jump in on a Conscious Connections meeting to engage with our awesome community!

Working Outside the Box

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Your career is a significant part of your life – for many, it sets the tone and rhythm of their day-to-day, while laying a foundation for the future. While many take the safer route, there are others who prefer to take the road less travelled. Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Prateek Sur explains how he was able to carve a path between money and passion.

 

Have you ever had a conflict in your life when you were thinking about whether to work for money and a settled life, or work for your passion? I can guarantee that it’s something that people from all over the world have thought of at least once in their lives. Is it okay to think outside the box while answering this dilemma? Well, let me give you an example from my life.

 

With Indian parents, there is this huge urge to make their kids work hard and make them either engineers or doctors. This isn’t just in India, as Indians who settle abroad also follow the same pattern. This may be why you often see Indian kids topping the ranks in most of the classes in primary or high school. In a country of almost 1.5 billion people, can you imagine the amount of scarcity for skilled labour for other jobs when everyone wants their kids to be engineers or doctors?

 

In my primary and high school, I was a bright student and used to be one of the rank holders in pretty much every school year. However, unlike my peers, I never had any specific work ambition. After my 12th exam, I decided to get myself enrolled in an engineering college as per the wishes of my parents. I got into one of the premier universities in the country, and everyone was super happy. However, this was the first time that I was to leave home and stay in a city almost 1700 kilometres away from my hometown.

 

To tell you the truth, I was not that great at engineering, but I was somehow managing to pass the semesters with a decent score. Even though I wasn’t good at the subjects, I was definitely great at the extra-curricular activities. Be it writing for the college newspapers or singing and dancing at the college festivals or disc-jockeying for the college radio or making short films, I was everywhere. 

 

Today, almost 10 years after graduating from college, when I look back, I feel that those four years at my engineering college helped me shape my career as a content writer and an entertainment journalist. You may be asking, what is an engineer doing in the field of journalism and writing? Well, the passion began during college, where I realised that this was indeed my calling, and not engineering.

 

I know many of you can relate to the feeling of not having followed your passion and having settled for something that’s more secure in terms of money. While some may be afraid of the consequences of following a monetarily unsure career, there would be many others who wouldn’t have done it because of what their parents would think of them, or what the society, in general, would think of them.

 

Here’s my advice: take the risk. Take a leap of faith, but for a limited time. Prove to your parents that yes, the field of your passion not only gives you mental peace and job satisfaction, but also pays you decently enough to have a livelihood. Yes, you might not be earning a seven-figure salary every month, but you would be doing what you love from your heart, and not sitting in a boring office, punching in and out every day, just waiting for the month to end to get your paycheck. 

 

As far as your parents go, they may be pissed at you at the start, but when you show them actual growth and career stability, they may come around and see your vision. They will eventually understand – they’re your parents after all, they wouldn’t be happy seeing their own child unhappy in a boring job.

 

You may have to give time, not only to your passion, but also to your parents to come around. Careers based on passion may not be the most lucrative, so don’t spend sleepless nights when you see your college roommate get a Porsche or your childhood neighbourhood buddy get a job paying a 10-figure salary. Be patient, and more importantly, be content with what you have. You may have less, but you don’t know the mental tension and stress these buddies of yours are going through in order to get these materialistic things. There will be a point in your life when they will envy you for having the best mental health and peaceful life.

 

Be sure of your passion, follow it diligently and give it your absolute best. As I mentioned at the start, who would do the other jobs if every kid grew up to be an engineer or a doctor! 

 

Choosing a career isn’t a cakewalk, but yes, when you do choose, choose wisely what you want from your life. Your career is a part of your life, not the heart of your life.

 

What lies at the heart of your life? Drop by a Low Entropy meet-up to tell us how you’re steering your career, or simply pop down to the comments section and leave us a note!

 

Over It

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They say that breaking up is hard to do. Ava Ingram knows that it’s true. Ava got through it though, and the Low Entropy volunteer writer shares her best practices on sorting out the aftermath.

 

You’ve done your best, and given your all. You’ve had enough of the emotional roller coaster ride and gaslighting your partner was putting you through. You need to find a way out . . . then they decide to turn around and break up with you first. What’s next?

 

Give them a second chance to prove themselves, one last time . . . but when they screwed that up again . . .

 

A sense of relief.

 

They said they’d always be there for you, but in the end, you were just left trying to take care of yourself. And everything you said to your partner, they just turned around and fired back at you.

 

What’s helpful in these times when you feel like you want to punch someone, like all hope is lost?

 

Taking an “easy way out” with drinking or using drugs wasn’t for me. I chose the harder route, but I knew that I’d have to deal with it myself because, until I had somewhat processed it, I would never be able to move forward and love myself, or anyone else, again.

 

When you’re sitting in your bed all alone in the dark, thinking, “Everything’s useless,” “I can’t do anything,” and “I’m no good,” it’s a start to think, “At least I’m trying to get better.” It’s very hard to try and trick/reroute your brain when you’re in a dark place and don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. Everyone says, “It’ll get better,” but you don’t really trust that it will. Why do things seem so easy for others in your time of struggle? How do they seem to get by with nothing crappy happening to them?

 

The hardest part for me was dealing with empathy. I’m a very empathetic person, but it can come back and bite me in the butt. I felt very bad for my boyfriend after we broke up the first time. He was dealt a bad hand, as he’d had a rough childhood. I felt bad for him, his family and his pets, as they were stuck in that “welfare mentality” and didn’t want to get better. He’d once told me he wanted to get fit. And my mom explained to me that, in the same way mentally, I couldn’t “work out” his brain for him. He’d have to change for himself, and if he never did, that wasn’t on me. It was a hard pill to swallow, but it was true.

 

Medication is an aid, but there are some issues that medication can’t magically fix if you don’t confront them head-on.

 

Surrounding yourself with a good support group is always good. You might not always like your family members, but in my experience, mine have always been there for me in my time of need.  Therapy is helpful. Helping you be aware that you want to get better is the first step, but you  have to want and be able to put in the effort, even when the going gets tough. I’ve been told it’s good to “feel things through,” but at the same time, it shouldn’t give you permission to sit around and feel crappy all day, soaking in those feelings. At some point, you’re going to have to confront your fears of returning to work, and resume life as “normal.”

 

I showed up to work a few days after the breakup. It was hard keeping it together, and then I just sort of lost it all at once. That was embarrassing, and at the same time, I was like, “How am I gonna keep it together for the remainder of my shift?” Somehow, I just did. Don’t get me wrong, it was extremely hard, and I lost it again after work. But somehow, with practice, it gets a little easier. I’ve heard a good way to calm anxiety is to say, “I’m ok,” but in that moment, you don’t really feel ok, so it’s really tough.

 

Watching a movie as a distraction was always helpful. But that was just it, it was only a distraction, and wasn’t dealing with the actual issue at hand. The one thing I learned was the PERMA-V model. The “P” stands for positive emotions. So this would be the time to watch something that makes you smile, or that is funny. The “A” stands for achievement. If writing/being creative is one of your gifts, find something to do that involves that. This is a good distraction.

 

Golden nuggets are another very useful thing I’ve learned. Counting your blessings/things that make you happy is a good way of focussing your brain on the good instead of the bad.

 

After you’ve cooled down a bit and had time to process the situation, putting yourself out there to potentially get judged and ruined again is very hard to do. But in the end, if you don’t try, you’ll never know what you could be missing, which is a very hard pill to swallow. And if I didn’t do that, I wouldn’t be in the good place I’m in now.

 

Same dating site as my ex. Kept looking. Losing hope.

 

Then some guy messages me, asking who my favourite Avenger was. It was everything that wasn’t in my last relationship, but everything I wanted. Everything seems good, and right, and not like you have to explain why you’re doing everything. You don’t feel on edge/living in survival mode at all. Good communication that goes both ways, and just enjoying each other’s company.

 

It’s hard to work on yourself in order to find this kind of happy, but in the end, it’s well worth it.

 

Who’s your favourite Avenger? Tell us all about your kind of happy in the comments below, or on one of our other social media channels!

Me and TikTok

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For Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Tim Ling, TikTok is not just the hottest app on his smartphone. No, it’s far more than that: TikTok is a global phenomenon that galvanizes Tim’s faith in humanity.

 

What is emotional intelligence? I’ve asked myself this question ever since I got the topic from Low Entropy. This phrase had only ever come to me before as a blurry image. I feel like it is a collection of all sorts of ideas, without any singular meaning. I even looked up the word in different languages, trying to find myself some kind of clue. Feeling dejected, I opened an app on my phone: TikTok.

 

People of different genders, different races, different age groups . . . each video was telling a unique story, whether it was emotional, encouraging, exciting, meaningful or profitable. This was how I “socialized” with the world by just staying at home. Watching those videos really helped me get back on my feet. It was a moment of relaxation.

 

Then it came to me. That’s it! TikTok was my savior! It was TikTok that told me what the rest of the world was doing, what every single person like me was experiencing. It was TikTok that made me feel connected, that comforted me when I was down. TikTok was my emotional intelligence. 

 

This reminds me of my first experience with TikTok. I was very young, a total noob to social media. It was an interesting adventure for me to explore myself through social media. 

 

Where I was born in China, my home country, we didn’t have much social media technology. China was, and still is, a developing country. The social media infrastructure of the country was incomplete during that time. WeChat didn’t become a widespread platform until 2014. Everything was brand new, like a newborn baby growing into a young man, just like me.

 

TikTok is pretty viral now, but it was just a newborn, like many others, in 2016. When I first tried TikTok, most of the videos were about spectacle. Publishers tried to attract users with attention-grabbing videos. This was TikTok as a small child, using a very simple technique, knowing the basic idea that nice views make people feel happy. Then, in 2017, interest turned to funny videos that would make people laugh. TikTok was now like a kid growing smarter, understanding that audiences wanted entertainment. 2018 was the best year that I remember. It was about emotions: videos of inspiring or comforting people, speaking, teaching us life lessons. TikTok, the teenager, had met some difficulties in life and was seeking comfort, and here it was. One year later TikTok grew into a mature young man. People starting doing business and selling products on TikTok: movie makers, artists, musicians, teachers, e-commerce marketers, etc . . . However, these stories still retained the emotional content of previous years. Before trying to make a profit, people were telling stories of themselves, making connections and comforting lonely souls. 

 

You may have suspected that, as TikTok matured, I was also going through this progression. Yes, I was that growing kid as well: we are a generation growing alongside social media. I’m lucky enough to have TikTok as my childhood partner. In the three years I grew with TikTok, I progressed from being a kid looking for entertainment, to a listener. I was less likely to lose my temper, knowing that there were so many nice people around me.

 

TikTok reflects every person around me. Videos, music and stories are mostly collected from people and places I often visit – TikTok’s AI automatically does that. This is also the reason why I have such a deep connection with it. 

 

In other words, TikTok is a medium that showed me a world – the world outside my little house that I had never seen before, the thing that enriched my childhood.

 

However, not every video on TikTok is about comfort and joy. Although we would very much love to, we don’t actually live in a fairy tale world. Tragedies happen around us all the time. TikTok brought me that point of view as well.

 

People would make videos about their companies going bankrupt, or their friends having just been in a car accident, or being diagnosed with an illness . . . they conveyed emotions I had never experienced before. It was shocking for me to see how some people would have extreme reactions to emotional situations, only for me to realize that I didn’t really have the right to criticize. This led me to deeper consideration how I might respond to the same situations, and what actually caused those problems. Nobody was there to tell me that this was an answerless question. After hundreds and hundreds of videos, I finally realized that it was unpredictable. You could never really know what the person in each video was experiencing. 

 

However, people also seemed to recover from these episodes. The same person publishing a sad video could also publish a joyous one at the same time. Some people seemed to hide their negative emotions to show the public a positive image, an encouraging image, a grateful image, even though those people might also be experiencing something depressing in their lives at the same time. They had learned to manage their emotions. 

 

As I later learned, that is what the world is like around us. People learn to hide what hurts them inside their hearts and show the best for the world. You would never know that a teacher, smiling in front of a classroom of students, may have just heard that their loved one had just passed away. Or a doctor, whose family member was just injured in a traffic accident, might still push through, staying at their post, saving more lives.  

 

This was when I realized that there’s more warmth in the world than I thought. 

 

With this sense of warmth flowing through my heart, I opened TikTok once again, sliding down one video after another, seeking my own cure for the day, wiping away the unhappiness. The world is an honourable place.

 

What reminds you of the warmth in this world? Let us know in the comments below or at a Conscious Connections meeting. Hm . . . what am I forgetting . . . oh, right! You can also check us out on TikTok!

 

Empowerment: From the Path of Least Resistance to the Path of Most Resilience.

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Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Ellie Gibbard walks us through her thoughts on empowerment and resilience, stopping by concepts of self-love, growth and confidence along the way.

 

  • What is empowerment?

 

Feeling empowered comes from finding the ability to be the best and healthiest version of ourselves. It comes from knowledge, confidence and resilience. To clarify what I mean by the “best” version of ourselves, best does not have to mean perfect. Perfection is an unrealistic ideal and I think striving for perfection is an exhausting and dooming practice that is too present in today’s culture. Who is to say what is perfect and what is not? To feel that we are the best version of ourselves and to feel confident in who we are – this is to feel empowered. Similarly, being the “healthiest” version of ourselves doesn’t mean to say we have to drink celery juice and work out every day. I mean healthy in the sense that we have the willingness to take care of ourselves. 

 

  • What is resilience?

 

Being resilient is having the capacity to work through adversity and often grow from it. Resilience is how we respond to difficulty and is a way for us to find strength in ourselves. It sounds nice, but being resilient is not easy and is not something that naturally occurs; we don’t just go through difficulties and automatically become resilient.

 

  • How can we become resilient?

 

I think that resilience is often associated with toughness and thought of as being able to put our feelings aside, our heads down, and just push through hard times. I would argue that being resilient is a result of self-love and having empathy for ourselves. Although it is something we can reach as individuals, resilience isn’t necessarily something we can find by reaching inside of ourselves alone. Instead, it is about being able to care about ourselves enough to seek out and navigate supportive resources. This is where self-love comes in. 

 

  • How can self-love lead to resilience?

 

Self-love and having the willingness to care for ourselves is the key to resilience. If we don’t love ourselves, how can we feel deserving of love and how can we seek out love and support? I think that there is often a stigma around self-love and what it is. People hear “self” and think “narcissism.” Just because you have love for yourself does not mean you think you are perfect in any way. Self-love comes from not resisting who you are and knowing that you are not perfect, embracing your imperfection, and accepting it as part of what makes you, you. This is the key to self-love. We have to be able to love ourselves because the way we love ourselves is the example to the world of how to love us. If we can’t treat ourselves with love, how can others? Being able to love and empathize with ourselves allows us to believe that we deserve love and empathy from others and guides us towards supportive people and environments that will foster resilience within us. 

 

  • From resilience to empowerment.

 

Finally, how can being resilient lead us to feeling empowered? Resilience empowers us because it gives us confidence in our abilities to work through and rise above adversity. Again, our abilities don’t necessarily need to mean solving things on our own; there is strength in numbers and being able to reach out for support and say “I need help” shows great strength. Having the capacity to work through and grow from challenges is resilience, and gaining confidence from the growth is empowerment. 

 

Tell us about a time when you had to be resilient – drop a comment below or inspire us at a Low Entropy meet-up!

I Can.

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Isolated from her family and mired in feelings of inadequacy, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Meghna Thakur hit a low point before gradually emerging from it. Reflecting on that time, Meghna is now putting pieces together to create essential personal supports.

 

It always starts with the same thought, “I don’t think I can,” in one form or another . . . a small, niggling feeling. Sometimes it’s easy to ignore, but other times it takes root and won’t let go. Then that thought becomes a faint whisper and, if not curbed, gains strength until it’s a loud inner monologue that is difficult to silence.

 

Self-doubt has been a constant companion in my life from a very early age. Though the term has a negative connotation at face value, I have had both positive and negative experiences dealing with it.

 

I grew up in a family of highly talented artists and well-educated professionals in the science, technology and medical fields. It was quite a legacy to live up to. Most of my young life was spent trying to excel in my studies or extracurricular activities because, whether I was aware of it or not, there was always a need to measure up, to prove myself. Growing up, I channelled those feelings into determination, which pushed me to constantly improve and learn. I discovered my love of reading all kinds of literature, my fascination with science, a passion for sports and a knack for analytical and logical thinking. On a personal level, it drove me to explore a plethora of hobbies before focusing on what interested and inspired me. 

 

However, the motivation borne from these feelings of inadequacy was a double-edged sword. I left my home country to pursue a master’s degree abroad and naively believed that any challenges I faced could easily be tackled if I was simply determined enough. But being alone and away from everything that is familiar to you, that little whisper of uncertainty (that can usually be easily drowned out when you feel secure in your environment) can rapidly transform into something far more insidious. Within a month, I started fearing that I did not have what it takes to get through the rigours of this new, unfamiliar international education system. Coupling that with the fact that my family had just spent a significant chunk of their hard-earned savings to give me this opportunity led to me suffering several panic attacks. At my lowest point, I hadn’t slept for almost four days straight and had barely eaten a meal that didn’t come straight out of a ready-to-eat packet. I would stay up all night crying with my family, wishing they could be with me, but at the same time knowing that wasn’t a viable option. They even tried to persuade me to give it all up and just come home, and we’d figure out the next step together. 

 

Looking back, what truly helped me get through that dark period were the friends I made at university. We were all in the same boat together, and knowing that they shared the same uncertainty and fears was a huge comfort. They lent an ear free from judgment or reproach, and I had never been more grateful. I realized that, though my family and friends back home would always have my back, it was important to build a local support system to feel a sense of community. The people you surround yourself with matter. Personal connection matters. 

 

This lesson has never been more relevant than now. This pandemic has brought to light many things that I have always questioned but chose to ignore, because there was always something I could use to distract myself: travel, weddings, entertainment . . . But in the past year, with all those diversions gone, I have struggled with significant aspects of my life, like my choice of career, the place I live and what matters most to me. 

 

I have found that a combination of the approaches that worked for me thus far has helped a great deal. I have forced myself to come to terms with things that no longer serve or satisfy me. This has re-ignited my drive to wholeheartedly pursue endeavours that bring me joy, and I have faith that success will follow. The very nature of the current situation prevents us from seeking out personal physical connection with those we love, and it has been difficult having to rely on solely virtual means. Nevertheless, I try to focus on keeping connected with my social circle (near and far) and checking in with them, and remind myself that I still have a great support system. 

 

However, what became painfully clear was the severe lack of friendships I had formed in the two years that I have called Vancouver my home. To try and get out there and make friends, I took advantage of the partial lifting of restrictions last summer to join hiking and outdoor adventure groups. This led me to meeting some wonderful people from various backgrounds that I probably would never have met. Most recently, I have started volunteering at local non-profits, which is what led me to Low Entropy. The feeling of acceptance and positive reinforcement that I have felt from my peers here has helped me feel a renewed sense of belonging and has helped calm that nagging voice that probably won’t ever truly go away, but can be relegated to the sidelines where it belongs. 

 

Meghna definitely belongs here, and you do too! Join our loving and empathetic community by participating in a Conscious Connections group chat, or simply drop us a comment here or on one of our other social media channels – we’re super acceptance-y!

 

Like Onions and the Moon

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Armed with an arsenal of metaphors, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Nicole Riglietti waxes poetic on the nature of change and how essential it is to the human experience.

 

Change is a constant in our lives. As the moon moves through its monthly phases, so do humans; it’s inevitable. We struggle, we strive, we fail and we survive. We rely on change to help us grow, move forward and evolve. 

 

Sometimes it hits us like a fastball, curved in the wind and aimed right at our face, in a game we didn’t even know we were playing. At times we call on change to help us catapult our lives into a new direction, onto the next adventure that we spent countless hours preparing for with steadfast focus and determination. Then there are times when we long for change. For something. Anything, to fill the gruelling void of our existence. We resist change and we fight it, we even welcome it, celebrating its arrival like an old friend we haven’t seen in years. Change can be a quick fleeting moment, a flash of insight that ignites the spark within, making it impossible to look back. It comes in many waves and forms. 

 

As humans we are all onions, made up of layers through experience, boundaries and moral codes. And as change moves through us, it adds new layers. Its lifeforce lives within each choice we make, no matter how large and grandiose or how trivial and small. Change is a power that’s neither good nor bad, right nor wrong; it just is. And it waits for no one. Change can keep us grounded and humble, or it can shake us to our core, flipping our world upside down, leaving us floating amidst the carnage of a shipwreck, helpless, dazed and mostly confused. Then there’s change, laughing at us, leaving us breathless, gasping for air, paralyzed from the waist down, unable to move, let alone take a step forward. And, yet, we do. Because we are resilient people who rise up and carry on, finding our new paths, discovering our new sense of normalcy. And we adapt, as best as we can. It’s our reactions to events and circumstances that allow us to either keep moving on or pause, take a step back and re-evaluate. 

 

When we surrender to change, giving up control and truly allowing life to unfold, it can lead us to a whirlwind of beauty, of endless opportunities, of new friendships that could last a lifetime. We become elated with a euphoric sense of pride, vigour and astonishment, dancing with the stars, shining our brightest and realizing that, this whole time, we were epic, fearless warriors, defeating all obstacles and defying all odds, standing tall as a tree with its roots entangled in the ground from the murky marsh it was born in. When change occurs, we must embrace our grievances, honour our wins and accept what we cannot understand. 

 

As we adapt and evolve with time, we add another layer to the onion, with a fresh new subtle outlook on life. Until the next time, we smile and welcome change back around.

 

We can all agree that humans, like ogres, have layers. How has change added layers to your life? Let us know in the comments below, or share your experiences with our community in a Low Entropy group session.

Lessons from New Grad: Why you should try less

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Hello, my name is Hayley Chan, and I am a recent Criminology graduate of Western University. As a passionate advocate of . . .

Hey. My name is Hayley and I’ve been painstakingly Ctrl- C-ing & Ctrl -V- ing the same intro sentence across 71 different cover letters since September of 2020. 

As productive as this process seemed, it was truly just plain – painful. Painful when that hopeful Indeed job posting says they’re just looking for a new grad with excellent communication and interpersonal skills – and of course that great work ethic – only for me to later discover that the position was filled by the first female rocket scientist to ever walk on Mars.

What were my next steps, you ask? Before I get into that, it’s worth mentioning what I wish this article was actually about. I wish this article was about how to keep persevering, how to get the job over that women’s rights public speaker/rocket scientist – yes, my imaginary competitor is also an eloquent activist for feminism.

And yes, I almost always pushed through. I’d get up the next day. Make my schedule. Do my company research. Send numerous LinkedIn invitations.

Seems like I had it all together right? After all, failure is a part of the process. 

Well, that’s what I was hoping. 

But this process didn’t work for me. I was trying so hard when I should have been trying less. 

In my opinion, as we progress through the 21st century, it’s actually getting harder and harder to just “try less.” We live in a nine-to-five, workaholic, productivity-to-the-max culture.

Moreover, thanks to Facebook, Snapchat and Instagram, we are constantly bombarded with images of this lifestyle, which have become measures for normative success; it’s hard to not compare oneself to what we see on social media both consciously and subconsciously. And it’s harder to not care about how you measure up to others, and what others think about you in this respect.

This was especially true during such a monumental time in my life – post-grad. I was surrounded by people, virtually and in real life, who were jump-starting their careers, making my criminology degree feel slightly . . . useless? 

So when September came, I spent four months learning how to network and tailored polished resumes and cover letters for general business roles.   

Based on my actions, it would appear as though I cared about the field of human resources or general business administration. Wrong. 

I just cared about how I appeared. 

With each new cover letter, I was trying to convince not only the hiring managers, but also myself of my interest in the job. And I think at some point, I started to actually believe I was passionate about recruitment cycles and process improvement.   

I truly wanted to enjoy the journey because I desperately craved the end result – validation, money, prestige. 

But as stated by Mark Manson in the subtle art of not giving a f***,

What determines your success isn’t “What do you want to enjoy?” The relevant question is, “What pain do you want to sustain?”

The success of getting a full-time job in HR or in general business roles and making my first yearly salary sounded ideal. 

But when it came down to it, this end goal did not justify slaving over these job applications every day for four months – applications where I spent copious amounts of time tediously stretching my experiences to fit the job requirements. It also didn’t even justify furthering my education in those fields. These pains were genuinely not worth my time and energy, because my goals were entirely created and driven by how I wanted others to perceive me. I got so caught up in my quarter-life post-grad crisis, frantically applying to jobs from a state of urgency, where my efforts anxiously screamed, “What do I even want to do with my life?!” without actually taking the time to properly answer that question. 

It was like being newly single. You’re not too sure about what you want, and you may be kind of emotionally unavailable, but you pursue relationships that aren’t good for you or the other person. Why bother, or hurt yourself, when you could be taking that time and energy taking a break and doings you love? 

We often try jumping into things without premeditation, and we hold on so hard to how we want things to be, because these ideas supposedly measure our worth, rather than accept simple truths like:

It’s okay to be unsure.  

It’s okay if things don’t work out.

It’s okay to not have everything figured out.

It’s okay to pause, and just do what you can with what you have. 

When I stopped focusing my efforts on what I didn’t want, I was able to think more about what I actually wanted. I started receiving more responses, creating job applications more easily, and feeling more satisfied with my progress. I no longer cared about what other people thought, because I was focused on achieving a goal that would be worth my time, energy, and satisfaction in the long run. Barriers, obstacles, and failure still existed, but caring less about what others thought and caring more about what I wanted made that pain much easier to sustain. 

I’m not saying don’t reach for the stars. Just take it easy. Keep your feet on the ground and head out of the clouds – and stay off of that rocket scientist, feminist activist’s LinkedIn profile.

What’s truly worth your time? Comment below or join one of our many Low Entropy meet-ups to share your life priorities and passions with us.

Changing Careers: The Bright Side!

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When you’re stuck in the drudgery of a job you don’t like for long enough, the status quo can feel like a shadow cast from a monumental, immovable obstacle. Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Blaine Hancock, however, reminds us that if we’re willing to charge in a different direction, brighter days might be just around the corner.

 

Changing careers can be an incredibly frightening process. Leaving a career you dislike to pursue a different path can be difficult to even consider. Why leave a consistent paycheque? Why leave a career you’ve dedicated years of your life to? Why leave a job you worked so hard to get? Taking a big step away from all that you have known is never easy.

 

Well, I’m here to tell you that, though there are a few scary things about leaving a career, there are also MANY good reasons to change or consider changing careers! You will feel a renewed sense of ambition, you may reconnect with old passions you left in the dust, and much more! Hooray for the bright side! Let’s take a closer look at some positives that can come from a career change.

 

Renewed Ambition

 

After working at a job for an extended period of time, especially if it’s a job you’re not particularly fond of, you often lose your sense of motivation and struggle to pull yourself out of a monotonous routine. Once you take the step of deciding to change careers, you will feel an enormous sense of renewed ambition and drive. You will be more motivated than ever to figure out your next path. This ambition and drive will also translate to many parts of your life you have been neglecting or pushing aside. Use this ambition to create the best version of yourself.

 

Explore New Paths

 

Of course, the most obvious positive that can come from a career change is the ability to explore new career paths. Although the amount of options to consider may feel overwhelming at first, you will quickly realize that it can be so much fun to look into the next chapter of your life! Do you look for a career in a similar field? Do you do a complete 180 and change your career aspirations entirely? Do you go back to university or take a free online class? The world is your oyster!

 

Reconnect with Old Passions

 

When we change careers, we often reflect on our past and what we did, or didn’t do, to reach our current position in life. This reflection can help us remember certain pursuits and activities we used to like, but ended up temporarily kicking to the curb to pursue our current career. Reconnecting with these old passions will help you to recognize that you have way more interests than just the ones you’re pursuing currently. Furthermore, it will help you to realize that there are other career options that might be a perfect fit for you.

 

Reevaluate Your Mental Health

 

One interesting positive that can come from a career change is a reevaluation of your mental health. While working in a career you dislike, you often don’t fully realize the negative effects it can have on your mental health. Stepping away will give you more time to reevaluate how you are doing and figure out the best way to rejuvenate your mental well-being. Also, this gives you an opportunity to think about switching to a career that’s better for your mental health, or at least think about how you can better handle your mental health while working.

 

After reading this blog, you still might be hesitant and afraid to change careers or consider changing careers. That’s totally okay and understandable: it’s not an easy decision. But don’t forget, there are just as many positive reasons for a career change as there are scary ones. Remember to look on the bright side!

 

Have you made a big career change in your life? Tell us about your decision and how it’s turning out in the comments or in person with a Low Entropy discussion group!

Finding Your Community

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Looking to expand your social circle? Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Joelle Chia has five tips for finding your entourage.

 

“What is important is family, friends, giving back to your community and finding meaning in life.” These words said by Adrian Grenier may seem simple, but they shed light on the importance of kinship. In this context, community is a group of like-minded individuals who share similar ideas, beliefs and experiences, and who seek to feel less alone in their individual quest. Everybody’s existing communities differ, and each person is at a different stage in their life. It can be difficult to find an understanding and accepting group of people. Some may even feel that they don’t belong or fit in with their current groups, and if that’s you – not to worry! Your community could help you navigate life through thick and thin. Here are five tips to find the right community and nurture these healthy relationships:

 

  1. Assess your personal needs and wants

 

The first step is to consider where you are in your life. Perhaps you are a freshman at a new college, or maybe you just moved into an unfamiliar neighborhood. Regardless of how far along you are in life, ask yourself: “What exactly am I looking for, and what challenges do I currently face?” You may come to a conclusion that, after moving to a new college away from home, loneliness arises from being thrust into a new environment where you do not have the support system you once had. This question and answer process will operate your drive to search for community. When you state your needs, those needs are more likely to be met.

 

     2. Don’t be afraid to be you

 

The phrase “just be yourself” may sound cliché and overused, but it holds true when you are looking to find a like-minded community. People tend to be drawn to those who share similar personalities, experiences and beliefs as them. This means not being hesitant to share your interests and passions, and being confident in your own skin. When people show more of themselves and have an authentic outward profile, others will naturally gravitate towards them. Put this into practice the next time you are in any public setting or group event. Chances are that you will discover you have more in common with others than you thought, and remember: the first step to finding people like yourself is to show up as yourself.

 

     3. Get familiar with your local environment

 

Many communities are created by proximity and a common location. This can be explained by a phenomenon called the mere-exposure effect. It holds that people tend to develop preferences for familiar things. Applied to communities, the mere-exposure effect suggests that the more exposed to the same group of people you are, the more familiar you will become to each other, and the more likely friendship will arise. For example, if you recently moved to a brand-new city and are looking to meet new people, a great option would be to join regular local events you are interested in. When you become familiar with people you see regularly, bonds can form. The internet is a great place to start the search for a nearby location to find others like you. 

 

     4. Do not be afraid to ask others

 

Many people were introduced to loved ones and their present community through connections. Even if you are an introvert (like I am), it is always possible to build amazing relationships with people you think are similar to you. Test the waters to try different opportunities, including online and local groups. You can even ask for recommendations from acquaintances, and be open to meet individuals through existing relationships. The further you expand your network, the more likely you will be able to find the right people to be a part of your community. Checking around and being curious to meet new people are some of the best ways to find a fit.

 

     5. Actively listen

 

Though it is important to seek out opportunities for yourself, sometimes it is easy to be caught up in your own needs. To build effective connections, you should have a genuine interest in others and their ways of life. Community is a constant cycle of giving and receiving. If energy is not put in to know others on an interpersonal level, it will be difficult for a sense of community to take shape. Oftentimes, what many need is someone to listen to and understand them. When you are able to listen well and show others your appreciation and thoughts, a deeper connection is born, which will revitalize your relationships. 

 

If you’re looking for community, you’re in luck! Low Entropy has a great one, both online and in person. Whether it’s right here in our comments section, on our Instagram or TikTok accounts, or at a Conscious Connections meet-up, we’ve got supportive, empathetic people who will welcome you with gratitude and positivity.

Five Things You Wish Adults Had Told You Before You Became One

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Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Sujana Jeganthas drops some knowledge on how to adult, and it has nothing to do with pensions or utilities bills.

 

Whether you are already well into your adulthood or just beginning it, one thing we all have in common is not knowing what being an adult actually means. As teenagers, most of us are told what adults are supposed to be, whether it means having a family by a certain age or having a high-paying job. The one thing adults never tell you is that not everything you know about being an adult is necessarily true. 

 

Looking back at my teenage years, there are things I wish I’d known before adulthood. So, for the teenagers thinking, “I can’t wait to grow up and have a big house,” here are five things I wish I knew when I was your age:

 

  1. Money is not everything

 

For a long time, I was always told that having a job at the age of 16 is important, to save for a car and pay off future school debts. This can feel overwhelming, especially since you are still being told when you can and can’t use the bathroom. After being in-between jobs for so long and finally finding one later on, I realized that money should not be my top priority. Discovering hobbies, making social connections and focusing on your well-being, as well as school, should always come before money. After all, even if money pays your bills and lets you buy things, it isn’t going to satisfy the desire to maintain a healthy mind, body and soul.

 

  1. You don’t need to have children to feel fulfilled in life

 

This was a hard one for me to swallow, especially since I was always taught that having a family is a blessing and an end-goal. Even now, when I tell people I don’t want children, I’m always told that “I will eventually change my mind.” Truthfully, I don’t know if I will change my mind, but what I do know is that, regardless of my decision, it’s a choice that I can only make.

 

If you feel pressured into having children but aren’t sure if you want any, this is a sign telling you it’s okay to not know. There’s more to life than just having a family.

 

  1. Life is not a race, nor a competition.

 

I feel like a lot of people tend to compare their lives to those around them, whether it is on social media or even just wondering if they are working at a slow pace and need to speed up. What most people don’t know is that there are probably lots of people out there who have been married for 15 years but got divorced and others who had a one-night stand and are still together after 30 years of marriage.

 

The point is that life is not about doing specific things by a certain age. It’s about enjoying what life has to offer and allowing good things to come your way, not trying to force it.

 

  1. Life does not end when you become an adult

 

A lot of people hit a certain age where they no longer feel like celebrating their birthday because they are getting “old.” The saying “age is just a number” is especially true when you feel like you’re not young enough to do certain things anymore. In reality, you still have a lot of things to experience before that back pain worsens.

 

  1. It’s okay if you have no idea what you want to do

 

In all honesty, a lot of adults, even those who have been adults for a long time, still have absolutely no clue what they want to do. Indecision is a common affliction when it comes to decisions in adulthood, and a lot of us still feel overwhelmed at the fact that we are just thrown into life and told to figure out how to pay for taxes and debts. 

 

Even if you have no idea what you want to do, pursuing new opportunities and things that interest you will always be the right step forward in figuring that out. Don’t worry about having to find your ideal career within a month of graduating school. Not everything will come as easily as you think. After all, failing to succeed in any pursuit doesn’t mean you’re not good at it – it might simply be a stepping stone that will lead you to your milestone!

 

Do you not have any idea what you want to do? How little of an idea do you have? Take a shot at describing this in the comments section, or try to explain it in front of people (supportive people!) at a Low Entropy meet-up.

The Career Box

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Sometimes convincing yourself to stop holding you back can be more difficult than overcoming external obstacles. After making a big career commitment at a young age, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Janki Patel was able to look back and realize that it’s okay to make decisions that are right for you now, regardless of what you thought in the past.

 

I was 17 when I made the decision to pursue a career in childcare. At the time, I thought it was the perfect choice for a person like me – a person whose top qualities involve being empathetic, patient, and caring. I was sure of my decision, but people around me expected better. It wasn’t perceived as a ‘notable’ profession, and I was referred to as a babysitter or nanny. I was constantly told that the career pays very little, is highly stressful, and not suitable as a long-term option. Despite the negativity tossed towards me, I started my three-year certification program with a positive attitude. 

 

Throughout those three years, as many students do, I experienced several breakdowns. One of them involved nearly dropping out of college because I doubted myself. I doubted my ability to be a successful educator. I dreaded most of my internships, and toward the end of the program, I felt like I had put myself in a box: a box where each side was sealed tightly, and as much as I wanted to get out, I couldn’t bring myself to. This was a choice I made, so I felt too guilty to complain. 

 

Nevertheless, I completed the program and spent several years working at a preschool. I surprisingly fell in love with the job, but I didn’t know how I would feel about it on a long-term basis. I enjoyed planning and implementing activities for my group, consoling a child whose crayon broke, or gathering the group for story time. I don’t think there is anything more rewarding than being able to view the world from a child’s perspective. I don’t think I was a terrible educator. I doubted myself as a student in training, but I was confident once I gained work experience. Even then, as each year passed, I became more restless and that empty feeling inside of me revisited. 

 

Fast forward to last year, when the unwelcome pandemic hit and boy, did it hit hard. It was mid-July when I got the call to start transitioning back to work. I immediately felt anxious, and I knew exactly why. No, it was not because of the virus. It was because I wanted to finally let go. I wanted to rip that box open and give myself another chance. I wanted to tell my 17-year-old self that she would not be a failure if she didn’t know what she wanted to do, that being lost is a part of the process and that, since she robbed herself of it before, she’ll deal with it now. 

 

Eventually, I left my childcare job. I still love working with children and could even see myself going back to it later in life, but for now, I want to explore. I was abnormally exhausted at the end of my workday and, at rare times, I didn’t look forward to the next. It takes a lot of energy to work with a group of young children, and I lacked some of it as time passed. I constantly pondered other possible jobs I could try that would, most importantly, allow me to pursue my love for writing. 

 

In December 2020, I graduated with another degree in education. As I reflect back on my professional career, I don’t regret any of it at all. I will always take it as a learning curve and be grateful that I had the opportunity to grow mentally, emotionally and physically. While some teenagers are encouraged to take their time, explore their options and then work toward a career goal, I simply thought I didn’t have that option. The truth was, I didn’t need somebody to tell me, I just needed to accept that fact myself. 

 

I think, as individuals, we get sucked into this whirlpool of academic and professional chaos – the type of chaos that begins the moment a child goes through their first day of school. From there, say goodbye to your personal growth and identity. It’s all about what you can and cannot do, alongside constant improvement. Don’t get me wrong, these things are great, and usually necessary to thrive in a fast-paced society . . . but at what cost?

 

I decided to break free from this whirlpool. At first, I felt ashamed to start exploring new career options and start afresh, mostly because I’d thought I had everything figured out and there I was, at 23 years old, breaking away from six years of education and work. I’m in a much better place now, mentally, emotionally and physically. I feel like I have room to breathe after years of believing I only had one option: to stay contained in the box I created for myself. I accepted that it is okay to start over and pick a pace that matches my needs. There is no race I need to win, and there is no finish line in this career journey.

 

Choosing a career is not a joke and should not be taken lightly, but it’s also important to understand that life goes beyond a position and paycheck. It took me some time to accept this fact, but the moment I did, I felt a sense of relief – a feeling I had not experienced since I was 17. And this time, I plan to keep it alive. 

 

Have you ever decided to steer your life in a whole new direction? Would you like to? Tell us about it in a Low Entropy meet-up, or simply pop down to the comments section and leave us a note!

There and Back Again: On the Road to Change

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Andrew Woods, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Please note that this article contains brief references to substance use.

 

“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.”
― Terry Pratchett

 

From the day-in, day-out perspective, it’s difficult to discern where and when change occurs. Can there possibly be such a thing as change, as we maneuver through the minutiae of our daily lives?

 

Between grocery shopping, our studies, our household chores, our jobs, our family duties … between paying bills and scrolling through politically motivated Facebook memes … where does “change” fit in?

 

And yet, I look back 10 years (or more) and it becomes overwhelmingly obvious that so much has changed. It becomes almost alarming to observe the changes that I’ve undergone. 

 

I was what the nurses called “a frequent flyer.” I wasn’t the only one who had earned that honour, though. Many of “us” had become accustomed to cycling in and out of those hospital wards. I spent Christmases and birthdays there, walking aimlessly up and down the halls, staring blankly out the locked windows overlooking the grounds, chain smoking cigarettes out front with the other patients.

 

After every hospital discharge, I’d keep to the straight and narrow for a couple months, but I’d always find myself back where I started – flushing my prescribed meds and looking to score my drugs of choice.

 

And then I’d end up right back on the ward. 

 

That was my life, in a nutshell, for a good 10 years or so. And oddly enough, I was comfortable with it. After all, I had discovered an identity in that lifestyle. I had taken on various labels: bipolar, mentally ill, obsessive-compulsive, drug seeker, troubled youth … and I began to wear those labels with a sense of misaligned pride. I was caught in a landslide, grasping for anything that would yield some stability. And as a young adult, having a sense of identity offered a bit of steadiness, even when everything else was precariously unbalanced. Predictably, the more I attached to that sense of self, however distorted it was, the more complete I felt. 

 

I was told, early on in my recovery, that change is the only constant in life. Everything else is impermanent and variable … our jobs, our homes, our friends, our family … it’s all either coming or going. But what can absolutely be guaranteed is our own personal evolution. 

The unfortunate reality is, change is difficult. And often we put up a lot of resistance to it. 

Some of us, like myself, have had to hit rock bottom before deciding to embrace change.

 

I had to do something … different.

 

I didn’t really see any other alternative … I didn’t want to risk uncovering what was beneath rock bottom.

 

I went all in. Change or no change.

 

Exercise.

Diet.

Meditation.

Breathwork.

Social supports.

Therapy.

 

Taking on the challenge of modifying my every conditioned thought and behaviour was no easy task. In fact, it was an impossible task. I didn’t realize that true change would need to come from within, that it was a slow, painful process, and that I was in it for the long haul. Maybe that’s why change is so very difficult for us – because the journey to lasting change follows a steep and rocky road, and everyone falls down along the way. 

 

I certainly admit to falling down along this journey. Not just once … but many times I’ve fallen.  And perhaps in falling down I learned life’s most valuable lesson – always get back up.

 

Nowadays, my sense of identity has expanded beyond what I could’ve previously imagined. Not in an egoic, full-of-myself kind of way. But in a way that is conducive to healing, and living a better, more fulfilling life. There have been many lessons learned over the past several years, and admittedly … I learned some of those the hard way.

 

I emphasize, however, that embracing self-growth, and the journey along our own self-evolution … it isn’t some kind of chore like doing the dishes or folding laundry.

 

No, witnessing the myriad of ways in which we, as individuals, flourish through all of life’s challenges is by far the most rewarding experience available to us.

 

In fact, that is why we’re here.

 

That’s it.

 

To evolve, to grow, to nurture and thrive.

 

And it isn’t about moving from point A to point B, as if life is a roadmap with a destination marked in red ink.

 

Instead, I think our journeys through life often lead us right back to where we started, to a world that is strangely familiar, and relatively unchanged.

 

And we realize that it was never about changing the world.

 

It was about changing ourselves.

 

The Fearless Art of Changing Your Life

Posted on by andrew

They are common notions, that life-changing experiences occur rarely and require drastic measures. Not so, posits Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Daniel Wilkens. Daniel proposes that, at any time, we are surrounded by a myriad of life-altering, low-barrier opportunities, just waiting to make us into the best versions of ourselves.

 

Sometimes change is forced upon us. Sometimes it’s for the better, but not always. Often we struggle to accept change and have to find ways to deal with new realities. But if we are feeling like we’re spinning our wheels and not getting anywhere, we don’t have to wait for changes to happen and hope they are positive. We can initiate change ourselves, sometimes with very little effort.

 

A number of years ago, I was given the opportunity through work to volunteer at the local high school track for the Relay for Life cancer fundraiser. They were looking for a photographer and, being handy with a camera, I volunteered my services. I was to photograph the event and present them with a digital record of their efforts – no big deal. I didn’t even blink at giving four or five hours to a good cause. I’m so glad I did! 

 

My first year was a real eye-opener. It was one of the biggest events in the town, with multiple teams, dozens of volunteers and hundreds of spectators, donators and well-wishers. There were people present who were cancer survivors themselves. Participants were thrilled that someone was there to take pictures of their accomplishments. Most ended up laughing, posing, being silly and getting family members together for group shots.

 

Did volunteering that one afternoon change my life? Absolutely! I met town council members, business people, entertainers and other photographers. Because of it I got offers to shoot weddings, engagements and sporting competitions. I cemented great friendships. People still recognize me from my time there. I went on to volunteer in this capacity for another seven years.

 

The point is, changing things up doesn’t have to involve a big, scary, complicated commitment. It can be simple and rewarding. Seeking personal growth is not just admirable, it’s essential. And the best part is, you can do it anytime!

 

Think about that – you can change your life at any time. I know so many people who are stuck in ruts. They go to the same job, hang out with the same people, listen to the same music, eat the same food, drive the same route to work – and then wonder why they are bored, listless, uninspired and unhappy. If you don’t like your current circumstance – change it! You can reshape your life in a couple of hours if that’s what you want to do.

 

I’m not suggesting you quit your job, run away and go live off the grid. I am saying that making personal adjustments is quicker and less intimidating than most people realize or are led to believe. Little changes can lead to huge results without jeopardizing your stability. 

 

Everything you know, everyone you meet and everything you do has the potential to change your life. Everything connects to everything else. People come and go (and come back) throughout your life. Never pass up a chance to help someone out for no reason. It’s not just exercising human decency. A junior staff member you help with a minor problem now can resurface as your supervisor at another company years down the road. You will have a built-in good relationship with that person because you once took a few minutes out of your day. Is *that* creating change for yourself? Of course.

 

“It’s not what you know, it’s who you know,” the old saying goes. Personally, I think it’s a good healthy chunk of both. I’m addicted to lifelong learning. You can take online courses on absolutely any topic that exists. Those courses are often reasonably priced and in-depth. For as little as the price of a fast food lunch you can learn Photoshop, how to perform card tricks (fool your friends!), how to cook with white wine and so on. Any knowledge you acquire gives you more tools in your life-changing arsenal. Knowledge gives new layers, new perspectives and new outlooks. A spontaneous remark to an acquaintance about a course you’re taking could spin your life in a whole new direction.

 

Being proactive, interacting with people and searching out new experiences are the best ways I know to make lifelong changes. You may not always know how those changes will manifest – but they’ll happen. Granted, this was all easier a year ago, when you could join a gym, join a theatre group, go on a bus trip, attend a craft workshop, take guitar lessons, get a part time job at the cafe downtown, etc. Hopefully those opportunities will return in some form. And even though we are at this crazy time in our history, it’s still possible to meet new people and make new connections.

 

Network, network, network. Expanding your circle will always pay off. Learn new things, make new friends, believe in yourself and don’t be afraid to change your life for the better.

 

What would you like to do to make your life better? Share your ideas live with others in a Low Entropy meet-up, or simply jot a few words in the comments below!

Stuck at Home Schooling

Posted on by andrew

Depending on where you are, it’s been about a year that we’ve been living with COVID-19. With the world put on hold for what seems like forever, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Özge Akdeniz had enough free time to put together a collection of insightful, optimistic lessons learned from an otherwise awful ordeal.

 

The coronavirus pandemic has been hard on everybody, myself included. But in the time left after complaining about how unfair life is, I thought about the life lessons I have learnt from this whole mess. So without further ado, let’s take a look at my ideas about the possible positive lessons we can take from the pandemic:

 

1) You’re not in control.

 

Yes, I know. It doesn’t sound that good. But bear with me. As humans, we enjoy the feeling of control. Some of us could even plan their entire life if they were given the chance. But in reality, we really don’t choose what’s going to happen to us, for the most part. Who could predict this pandemic beforehand? But here it is, changing our lives and throwing our plans off. Though it sounds depressing at first, doesn’t it make you feel better, the idea that you’re not the only reason why things aren’t going the way they were supposed to? This is just the right time to stop beating yourself up about all of your “failures”. 

 

2) Small things matter.

 

Going to a café and spending some time reading while I sip my coffee in a nice ambiance wasn’t something I appreciated enough before the pandemic. Nor was being able to meet with a friend and hug them. But after all, I learnt that life is all about those small things I enjoy. Even being able to comfortably breathe without a mask was a huge blessing. But I know that someday, I will be able to do these things again. Meanwhile, I’ll just focus on what blessings I have right now. 

 

3) Health is a priority.

 

How often do you stop to appreciate your health? Your body is working to keep you alive every single second. But oftentimes we don’t give our health the attention it deserves. It’s only when it is taken away, or when it is in danger, that we understand its importance. The most valuable thing you have is a properly working body and mind. Countries all over the world are fighting to keep people alive, despite the financial consequences of closing down businesses. I used to think that money ruled the world. But I was wrong. Nothing is more important to us than being alive and well. We are, after all, animals who are fighting to survive.

 

4) Hope is essential to survival.

 

The last thing I learnt from the pandemic is that having hope for the future truly matters. I don’t want to listen to people who say I have to be realistic, and that is the only way I will do well in life. When you stop having a positive outlook, it affects your mental health. Being stuck in the doomsday mentality only made my life even more miserable. When you focus on the negative parts of the situation, it usually doesn’t cause a fighting response from your brain. It only triggers the “flight” mode. You stop trying, because it seems like no matter what you do, you cannot overcome the huge problems in your life. You need to start seeing the bright future that is ahead of you, so that you will be motivated to actually make it come true.  

 

What lessons have you learned in the past year and how have you maintained your optimism? Comment here or join us at a Low Entropy meeting!

 

Puppy Love: A Study of the Unconditional

Posted on by andrew

Like true best friends, dogs are not just great companions – they also help us learn lessons that make us better versions of ourselves. Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Niklas Chiang introduces us to his own trusty canine pal, and recalls how she guided him to one of those revelations.

 

What is unconditional love? If you asked me anytime before today, I wouldn’t be able to answer you. Growing up in an immigrant household, I felt like love was conditional. I had to work to earn my parent’s love. If I misbehaved or didn’t get the mark I was supposed to get, then I was scolded. If the opposite happened, then I got praised, and sometimes, a gift. That was my view of love, and it lingers to this day. I believe, and still do to an extent, that there are conditions behind being loved by someone. I struggle to truly feel unconditional love, but despite these challenges, I’ve begun to understand what it means to give and receive unconditional love. When did this start to change? When my family got a second dog. I never knew this, but dogs, my dog and dogs I see on the streets, are incredible teachers. Let me explain.

 

I was walking to the SkyTrain station in downtown Vancouver late at night because I just got off work. As I waited for the light to turn green to cross the street, I looked to the other side of the road. I saw a man, who appeared to be living in poverty, walking with his dog. I watched their interaction. Whenever the dog needed to sniff, the man would patiently wait until the dog was finished. When it was time to go, the dog followed him. Watching this was amazing because it reminded me that both the man and his dog loved each other, no matter the circumstances. Although we have many prejudices, they do not seem to exist for dogs. The dog accepted his owner and loved him for who he was without judging his wealth, or lack of it. This is no different from loving our partners, families or friends. No matter the circumstances we find ourselves facing, we love each other unconditionally. We embrace the negative qualities and celebrate the positive ones. I’m not saying this comes naturally, but having seen how happy the dog was with his owner makes me believe it’s worth the effort. 

 

When I finally got home, it was late at night. I quietly opened the door to try and not make a sound. I began untying my shoe laces when I heard some scratches on our sliding door. I looked up to see my dog. She had woken up from her sleep to say hello to me. As tired as I was, I went to see her. She became ecstatic. She couldn’t stop walking circles around me. As I was petting her, it dawned on me that this wasn’t the first time she’d done this. Whenever I’d return home, she would always get up from her sleep to greet me. In turn, I would always pause and pet her. For her, as long as she can see that I am home, she will be by my side. Even when I do work, she lies near me, observes me for a bit, and then sleeps. If I move, she moves with me. While some of us like to hear “I love you,” a dog doesn’t have that ability. They express love differently. They could give you their favourite toy, or ask you to play with them, but my dog, she shows her love by following me constantly. That is important because it highlights how we can express unconditional love differently. We will not all have the same ways to express ourselves. Sometimes we see it, and sometimes we don’t. 

 

So I ask myself: what is unconditional love? The most obvious and direct answer is love that has no conditions, but it goes beyond this. Dogs have taught me that we should love someone with no prejudice. They highlight how love is both visible and invisible. I use their lessons to think back about my life. Did I really have conditioned love? Yes, absolutely. Was there unconditional love too? Yes, absolutely. Without my family, I wouldn’t have the food to eat, nor the education I got. Even though I’m not the greatest son, and have had my highs and lows, they accepted me for that and continued to provide. Without my parents, I wouldn’t be here today. To them, I say, “Thank you.” 

Who do you love, no strings attached – four-legged or otherwise? Let us know in the comments or at a Low Entropy event.

Live Aloha

Posted on by andrew

Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Nicole Riglietti takes us on a transformative voyage, escaping from despair and self-contempt to Hawaii and the curative love of the Aloha Spirit.

 

With the carefully constructed confines of society, it is amazingly easy to feel lost in the day to day, in the moments and minutes of a grim reality. Lost in the crippling anxiety, lost in pleasing everyone, lost in self-neglect. A few years back, I was lost to who I was. On an unglamourous healing journey of self-discovery, I found kindness, compassion and self-love. Drowning in my own skin, stuck in the wretched grasp of my tormented mind. I felt like a captive prisoner held hostage to past hardships. It terrorized me as fierce flames engulf a house burning from the inside out. There was nowhere left to run. I felt my heart, mind and soul fill with self-loathing, unworthiness and the inescapable illusion of being unlovable. I felt it deep within my core, a belief I carried and held on to for years. Staring at myself in the mirror, screaming, begging, pleading for me to love me – all of me. Mocking tears gushed down my cheeks, and I had enough. I couldn’t escape my painful existence, so I escaped my surroundings and all the people in it. 

 

“The Aloha Spirit” . . . her words echoed as they left her lips, bouncing off the corners of my racing mind. ‘Aloha’ was nothing but a greeting, simply ‘hello’, ‘goodbye’. How could it mean anything more? On the plane I ruminated over my self-destructive ways and inability to feel love for myself, only  interrupted briefly by the flight attendant’s safety plan. 

 

“When the oxygen masks eject, put one over yourself first before helping the child beside you.” Even in the greatest heights of tragedy, one must help themselves first, before helping another. One must love themselves first, before loving another. What a concept. At the time it was completely foreign to me. ‘Self-love’ – what does that even mean?

 

Landing in Hawaii, I felt a sacred energy buzzing throughout the majestic island of Maui. Aloha. Just one word held so much power indeed. I saw it everywhere. Black bumper stickers with bright red lettering read ‘Practice Aloha’, and these bumper stickers were posted all over, hidden in plain sight to the untrained eye. When the locals said “Aloha,” it carried great weight. I discovered Aloha meant respect, honour, kindness, compassion, love, hope, responsibility, acceptance, openness and joy. All these profound words, these attributes embody the Aloha Spirit. Given to others, and especially to one’s self first. It never occurred to me that I should be treating myself in this way. Holding enough respect for myself to take care of me. Honour my worth, my skills and talents. Have the responsibility to fill my life with that which brings me joy. Speaking to myself with gentle kindness and compassion. Accepting all of me just as I am. Showing up for myself, having the courage to fight for a love I can be proud of and feeling completely whole.

 

Like trust, love has many layers that take years to build. I’m still building these layers. After much grueling inner work, I have a foundation which grows stronger daily. I found myself accepting my sorrow and celebrating my joy, for they are two sides of the same coin, forever intertwined. As I released the resistance, I also let go of all the fear, shame and doubt. I had courage to follow my heart.

 

I went on a hunt for this bumper sticker so that I might be reminded to practice Aloha. A woman stared at me oddly at my request, as I was not a local, just some woman clearly struggling with her own self-worth, held together by her faulty insecurities. Before I could grasp the bumper sticker in my hand, she told me I had to promise to practice Aloha. This calmed some of my anxieties, yet doubt is a persistent thing, always lurking in the shadows, pouncing on the vulnerable. Especially when one had been battling the darkness within, it was difficult to trust a newfound freedom.

 

Waiting for a bus to take me to the airport. Doubt and chaos controlling my mind, questioning the hallmark advertisement of ‘Aloha’, a kind “Hello” brought me back to my surroundings. On my left there was a cute old man who wanted to talk. To my amazement he brought up the ‘Aloha Spirit’, filling me with absolute hope. It raised my vibrations. How could he know that I’ve been focused on this phrase? I felt connected to him, connected to the ebbs and flows of the universe. As a native to Maui, he had a deep understanding of what the Aloha Spirit meant. His late wife, born and raised in New Jersey, had had it. He didn’t think it possible for a person not native to Hawaii to be filled with the Aloha Spirit.  In that moment, for different reasons, we both marveled at the possibility. 

 

After being strangled for years by suffering, when I gave into the idea of self-compassion, I began to feel lighter. Self-compassion opened the doors to the ‘Aloha Spirit’ and living in Aloha led me to the unconditional love I feel for myself, where I truly feel wholeheartedly complete. Self-love has shifted my perception on life, and I am genuinely able to spread the joy within me to those around me. Though the healing journey is a long, winding road, feeling like utter destruction at times, don’t give up. Keep going. Practice self-love. Live Aloha. 

 

Everybody has a spirituality specific to them – tell us about yours in the comments or at a Low Entropy meet-up . . . who knows? You could be one of those special moments on someone’s journey to self-love.

Our Only Duty

Posted on by vwideski

He wasn’t out of the woods yet, but that didn’t keep him from seeing the forest for the trees. Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Salem Ziani takes us back a year to Bosnia-Herzegovina with a series of vignettes from a trying time and a difficult place, right on the cusp of the COVID-19 outbreak.

March 2020, somewhere in the heart of a forest in Bosnia-Herzegovina. We’re getting ready to cross the last border and finally reach the European Union, and realize a kind of dream. The wait is too long. Despite a somewhat familiar atmosphere – reminds me of home – my chest is tight; I am overcome with fear. 3:26 a.m. The smuggler arrives and tells us that no one is going to cross today. Maybe never. “Beginning of the lockdown,” he said.

Everything had tipped over: courage and hope left me, and fear immediately took hold of my whole body. From now on, the only concern was surviving.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

The city takes on an air of war. Finding myself in the middle and with nowhere to go, I feel jealous of those people who have homes and families during this lockdown, and a little upset with those who complain about nothing.

Confused between memories and regrets, I remember all the beautiful things that I left. I regret most terribly my ingratitude for the joys I once had. It’s a lesson to love what you have, so that you’re not left loving something already lost.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

This same city that was once friendly and full of good atmosphere is now apocalyptic; I find myself surrounded by fear and angst.

It is under a bridge that we found a makeshift shelter with some homeless people. We share our food, received from humanitarian associations, and we discuss the pandemic and the tragedies of life to become familiar with each other.

Another lesson learned here, of humanism: help your neighbours.

“No man is tired of receiving what is useful. But it is useful to act according to nature. Do not then be tired of receiving what is useful by doing it to others.”

– Marcus Aurelius, Meditations (translated by George Long)

§§§§§§§§§§§§§

Unpleasant news about us was circulating, so we were forced to leave the city and go to a small village where we were hosted by a monk who told us, “It doesn’t matter who you are, God does not abandon anybody.”

Fifth day, we are awakened by our friend’s screams. The pandemic has just taken the life of his mother. Is there anything more painful than attending your mother’s funeral and saying your last goodbye by video call? We were all scared and extremely sad. We all cried.

The lesson is compassion.

“Now, when you recognize that all beings are equal in both their desire for happiness and their right to obtain it, you automatically feel empathy and closeness for them. Through accustoming your mind to this sense of universal altruism, you develop a feeling of responsibility for others: the wish to help them actively overcome their problems. Nor is this wish selective; it applies equally to all.”

– Tenzin Gyatso; The Fourteenth Dalai Lama, “Compassion and the Individual”

§§§§§§§§§§§§§

All discussion revolves around the pandemic: when will it end? When will the lockdown end? Are we going to get back to normal life? Undoubtedly, there are people who have other questions – people who face the pandemic on the front line, people who have lost loved ones, who have lost their businesses or their jobs. Mine were, “Will I survive? Will I ever go home and see my family again?” All of this had dragged me into a depression.

COVID-19 has brought us all to our knees; we have all been confronted with fear, anger and anxiety.

But we must have the wisdom to get the best out of it all. We must know that, no matter our situation, there is always worse. Our only duty is gratitude and, above all, patience. That’s what helped me find the will to overcome this ordeal.

With time, empathy and patience, we can overcome everything. Everyone will learn from this uncommon period in our lives. 

Will this situation bring us to a better world, full of love, compassion and mutual aid or, per contra, a world worse than the existing one, full of individualism, greed and hatred? From my side, I am optimistic that the human being is able to accomplish wonderful things, as he has demonstrated time and time again. The glow of light is approaching, and each of us will find their right path toward dreams and hope.

Tell us your stories of when you found your strength. Leave a memory in the comments section, or let us know in person at a Low Entropy meet up.

A Quiet Fix: Holistic Healing through Yin Yoga

Posted on by vwideski

What started as a quest for increased flexibility led Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Kathy Woudzia to emotional sanctuary via breath and meditation. 

As a person living alone, I have had a difficult time coping with the social isolation associated with COVID. Before January 2020, I spent my time raising a family and all duties that entailed. For 18 years I was a stay-at-home mom, spending my days looking after the household. I worked out, shopped, cleaned and prepared dinners, finding little time for building friendships.

In January 2020, it all fell apart. I found myself newly single, and with all of my children having flown the nest, COVID was the icing on the proverbial cake.

In order to cope, I would do an intense workout everyday. Fitness was not only a great way to keep fit, but more importantly, helped me keep my sanity. There is a feeling of euphoria after each and every workout. It’s not just the endorphins that course through your body after an intense fitness session, but also the general sense of accomplishment that would carry me through the day.

Unfortunately, I overworked my body to save my mind, and my body rebelled. The frequent workouts were taking a toll. I got to the point where I could barely walk without pain.  

Even worse than the physical pain was the emotional despondency of not being able to work out anymore. The fact is that I don’t feel good about myself when I don’t perform a fitness activity daily.  In too much pain to do another workout, I resorted to something I never thought I would ever do, much less enjoy: Yin Yoga.

Yin is a type of yoga where you hold poses for a minimum of three to five minutes each. I was reluctant to try this because I knew it was going to incite a different kind of physical pain from my current injury.   I’d neglected stretching for a good portion of my life, which is exactly why I was now having problems with my IT band. With a background in kinesiology, I knew about the three components to physical fitness: cardio, strength, and flexibility. I possessed the first two but I was sorely missing the third. If I wanted to repair my injury and work out again, I would need to improve my flexibility. 

I looked up Yin Yoga online. I found it to be equal parts science and spirit. Combining the practices of Yin Yoga and mindfulness meditation creates powerful possibilities for transformation and holistic healing in all layers of our being: body, mind and heart. I knew there were obvious benefits to Yin Yoga for the physical body, but it would be a very welcome surprise if it were to have a positive effect on my mind as well.

I began with some deep breathing and found that this immediately relaxed me. Next were some poses, which could be potentially painful, but the instructor said something important: only go into the pose deep enough so that you are feeling a five out of 10 in the stretch and, above all, stay present.

This made a world of difference to me. While in each three-minute pose, I focused on my breath and on being in the moment. I do not usually take the time to meditate, but I found that for three minutes at a time I could be in a complete meditative state. The video was 45 minutes long, which provided me with almost a full hour of meditation. By the end of the Yin Yoga session, not only did my body feel better, but I felt a sense of calm that regular exercise didn’t provide for me. I am now going to stick with Yin Yoga even when my body no longer needs it for repair. For me, Yin Yoga and meditation is a repair of the mind.

Where do you find your inner peace? Let us know in the comments section, or attend one of Low Entropy’s supportive meetings to exchange ideas and experiences. 

Oh, the Places You’ll Grow!

Posted on by vwideski

You don’t have to be in a Dr. Seuss book to see something astonishing: our world is a multifarious and magical place all on its own, and there’s always something to fill your heart or energize your spirit. In her reflections on the act of leaving the familiar, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Anna Bernsteiner examines how we evolve when the where we go becomes where we’ve been.

Your eyes open promptly; the alarm clock is ringing. It’s Monday, 8 a.m. The first thought that comes to mind is the fact that today is THE DAY. A new start. You are already stressed: blood pumping, heart racing, and thoughts rushing.

You are about to leave home. To leave that old house and the small backyard that now seems to be the greatest place you have ever been. To leave all your lovely neighbors behind, who you couldn’t stand before. Last but not least, you are about to leave all your friends and family, quitting all their opinions to form your own. 

Suddenly all the drama seems meaningless, all the excitement of moving away is gone, and what stays?

The paralyzing fear of the unknown. 

Not having an Amazon delivery guy that you know personally because he has been at your house more frequently than his own. Not knowing the best pizza place, where you taste tested the entire menu (even the ones you knew you wouldn’t like). Not having anyone to rescue you with toilet paper when you realized too late that you forgot to refill the roll.

Inconvenience is terrifying to some, and yet it’s what pushes us forward. Stepping out of our comfort zone and realizing that development happens when we face some kind of adversity or obstacle in life is beneficial. 

And how amazing new places and new experiences can be: the adrenaline of doing something you have never done before, meeting new people and sharing your story with others. Just getting different perspectives and views on life can be so refreshing. Moving to a new place doesn’t have to be scary.

So far, I have lived in four countries, with their own languages, cultures and perspectives, all away from family and familiar things at home in Austria. I was fourteen when I first decided, out of curiosity and some inner voice telling me so, to live in the U.K. for a short time. 

It opened many doors for me later in life, but the first few days were pure adrenaline. Spending time with people I didn’t know and who spoke a different language was an inconvenience, to say the least. Yet I discovered a great passion for traveling and experiencing different cultures that still drives me today. Had I not done it, who knows where I would be. 

Two years later I spent a good amount of time in Spain, which was another daring adventure that challenged me differently. Speaking a language in which I wasn’t fluent, working with people from different backgrounds and switching languages more often than clothes was not easy, and left me frustrated and exhausted most days. I was working as a waitress at the time. My coworkers spoke Spanish and Arabic, hardly any English. Most of our customers came from France, Germany, the U.K. and Sweden, which required me to jump from English to German to Spanish constantly.

However, the struggle paid off. I improved my Spanish, which would get me through tough exams the following years. I learned how to step out of my comfort zone, and working with international visitors gave me a greater understanding for people from different cultures and backgrounds.

Inconvenience and the unknown improved the person I am and that I am still becoming. Don’t be afraid to jump into cold water. Don’t be afraid of the unknown. When the world opens up again, embrace newness. It will make you stronger, more open-minded, and ready for bigger challenges.

Where have you been, and where do you want to go? Now more than ever, we’d love to hear your stories of exploration. Head over to the comments section to share it with the world, or join a Low Entropy meeting to start a whole new journey of personal growth.

To Shanghai, With Love

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Born in the bustle of a densely packed, hyper-competitive metropolis, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Tim Ling takes us back to a childhood spent meeting the onerous demands of an exacting academic system – not only giving us a taste of what it was like, but showing how crucial and enduring friendships were forged in its crucible.

Before coming to Canada, I lived in Shanghai. It was the place where I grew from a baby crying in my mother’s arms to a 15-year-old young man. Shanghai was the city upon which I built each piece of my understanding of the world, this city that I had never left before. Until I left, I never realized that I could love a place so much.

Shanghai is a city with 27 million people. That’s like stuffing the whole population of Canada on Vancouver Island. In Shanghai, there’s never a lack of human resources. 

Then again, having a large population comes with challenges. Competition was created, far more intense than what we have in Canada. One can be doing their job one day and be fired for no reason the next, just because there are so many people waiting to take their  position. Workers often lack any sense of belonging in their companies, because there are likely any number of other companies willing to offer a better salary. 

People don’t stay in one position for long – usually no more than a couple of years, in fact. You either get promoted, switch to a better company, or get kicked out. This is one reason why we call Shanghai the City of Opportunities. With people switching positions all the time, there’s always a chance that you find a better place. 

The story I’m going to share today isn’t going to focus on the competition of Shanghai, but it’s going to be based on that. 

As a kid I didn’t know how fierce the world was outside. We were like blank paper, waiting for the stories of our lives to be written. I spent the nine years from Grade 1 to Grade 9 learning concepts that made me who I am today.

When I was in school, students formed very close relationships. We were under a system that is quite different to the Canadian educational system. The sense of intense competition was present in schools from the moment you walked in. I still remember arriving in Grade 9 every day at 6:30 in the morning, studying for 12 continuous hours doing test papers and practice problems, and not leaving the classroom until 6:30 in the evening. 

What we learnt was way more difficult than what is taught in Canada too. I was doing the equivalent of Grade 12 math in Grade 9. However, I didn’t feel stressed out then. I’d even say it felt pretty easy. Maybe it’s that I got used to it, but more likely, I believe that socializing with people around me helped me overcome that stress. 

We were all students who bore too much at that young age. So, like patients in the same hospital ward, we felt very close to each other. After all, they were the only ones to accompany you while you did your 12-hour test sheets. We could always talk to each other and discuss problems. We’d even eat and nap together. We felt like one whole. 

When we face difficulties, we won’t just stress out. We don’t even need to use words. I just turn my head around. I look at you. You are doing the same stuff I am doing. You are facing the same difficulty I am facing. You turn around and face me. We look into each other’s eyes and we smile. We are in this together. 

There is this emotion built among us, like brothers and sisters, that made us lifelong friends. School is like a second home, where those classmates who have been through the hard times with you are your family members. 

It was with those friends, who acted as an analgesic drug every time I fell, that I overcame this period of time.

Pretty strange for a Grade 9 like me to have built those kinds of relationships at the time, right? I felt surprised by it even then. I was full of resentment for the educational system we had, and thought, given a chance, I would never come back again. 

Looking back, I realize that that system actually worked. When I later flipped open a Canadian Grade 10 textbook, only to find  that I had already learnt everything in it in Grade 6, I was surprised, and joyful. 

What’s more is that I now have a group of friends forged from deep, shared experiences. I would never have such friends if it weren’t for the nine years of education I got in Shanghai. 

Shanghai was the place where my stories began. It is where I put hard effort into my studies and built my most important friendships. It is where I gained my most important understandings, and learnt how to socialize. 

I fell in love with Shanghai, without noticing.

When was the last time you fell in love with a city or a culture? What was it that captured your heart? Get us dreaming about faraway lands and special places in the comments or at a Low Entropy meeting.

Gusto in a Dangerous Time

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As we round the corner on the first month of a new, hopeful year, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Mike Vaness pauses to reflect on what still might be salvaged from the flaming wreckage of 2020.

It would be a massive understatement to say that 2020 was a tumultuous year. Our lives have changed in ways that mimic works of fiction. However, we persevered and made it through, anticipating a brighter new year and promising to better ourselves. This is the time to make some positive changes, bring about new habits or start new hobbies. On the other hand, these new resolutions are often challenging and overly ambitious, and many of us have undoubtedly fallen back into old habits. As such, in 2021, I feel that instead of racing toward a “New Year, New Me,” perhaps we should look back upon the year we’ve just wrapped up, and find some positivity and growth that was mixed within all the chaos.

Looking back on the holiday season, I think it would be safe to say that our normal routines and expectations completely changed. Normally we would have been busy working out travel plans, matching schedules with work and social events, and attempting to see everyone and go all the places we could. This year there was a lot more emphasis on staying home with online shopping and shipping. It was hard to deal with the reality that we could not visit family or friends during the time when being with our loved ones was most important. I know when this realization first sank in for me, I was feeling quite depressed and sad. I haven’t been able to see my family in over a year, and it does not look like that will change for months to come. With that in mind, I have also come to realize how thankful I am for the new technology that allowed us to be more digitally connected than ever before. 

When I sat down on Christmas morning with just my partner and myself at home, we had a quiet breakfast, opened a couple gifts and took a much more calm and slow pace. We both commented that we were not exactly missing the pressure of having to keep to a tighter schedule – although I admit we don’t have children in our household, so this may not have been the same experience for everyone! We then began to set up a Zoom call for my family, and it was amazing to be able to see everyone’s faces when we spoke with them. It just brings a new level of communication that helps fill the void of not being together in person just a little bit more. New technology is by no means a replacement for being with friends and family in person, but I’m still glad it offers more than what we have had in the recent past.

The flexibility of technology can be positively applied to other aspects of our lives as well, with people being able to work from home and finding an entirely new sense of work and life balance. People have discovered all kinds of new hobbies and projects because they were encouraged to stay home. Many people have been able to explore different creative avenues that before may have been overlooked. I myself have found that I enjoy trying new and different recipes in the kitchen, and trying things that are a bit unusual. It has been an uplifting and fun experience that has allowed me to expand my repertoire for weekday meals.

Looking back at how our lives have changed, we can also focus on how best to move forward. We can see how things have changed on a grand scale, and while we may not want to maintain many of those changes once the public becomes a safer place, there are always some changes that can be made for the better. There is no reason, once we gain more freedom, why we cannot continue our creative pursuits. I will continue to look into new things to try in the kitchen, as well as working with other crafts. For instance, I recently bought equipment to work with casting resin, and am looking forward to trying it out to see where it can lead for future projects.

While we have all had our lives upended, in the end we can either completely ignore the past or try to move forward with gusto and fervor. I think there is a lot of good that can be had from looking to the past, reflecting, learning and gaining perspective. The past year was one of sadness and chaos, but there are bits and pieces that we can pull from it to help us keep moving forward. For 2021 we can try to bring about a new us, because we have grown even in the shadow of a disastrous year. We made it through, and now we can take the best parts of ourselves and decide who we get to be.

Who are you going to be in 2021? How much of 2020 will you take with you? Comment, keep an eye on this space and check out some Low Entropy virtual programming in the new year!

Always a Mountain to Climb

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From the symbolism of mountain goats to democratizing spirituality, Low Entropy Leah Costello speaks on the importance of accepting – and even embracing – the persistence of adversity in life, and how it can enrich every journey.

My grandmother Joan’s life advice: “There’s always a mountain to climb.” As a Capricorn, the sign of the sea goat, I appreciate the imagery of a goat persevering up the summit.

I passed on Joan’s advice to my friend Jesse and he said, “God, that’s depressing! She’s a really happy woman, isn’t she?”

I explained that she is a happy woman and I agreed with her – there’s never a time when everything will be perfect. Jesse holds onto hope that there will be. And so did I, for many years. I kept thinking, after this everything will finally come together. I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t get to the top of that mountain. I should have it all figured out by now! Some people have perfect lives, right?

I didn’t get it for a long time. I got part of the way there when I started reading Pema Chödrön, the acclaimed Shambhala Buddhist monk who lives in my homeland of Cape Breton, Nova Scotia. She says that there will never be a time when everything comes together, that we have to accept where we are in every given moment without judgment. If I’m being honest with myself, it took some very deep wounds and family tragedies to gain a deep understanding of this concept. Eventually, I realized that this is what my grandmother was getting at in her mountain-climbing analogy.

So what does this mean in practice? Well, I’m still not 100 percent sure. I’m figuring it out. I’m far from a monk living in the isolated highlands of Cape Breton. I do yoga videos at home like everyone else. But no matter what you are doing, you can always make room for yourself. I struggle during corpse pose to keep myself from making an inventory of all the things I have to do that day. It’s hard not to silently criticize myself and others, and even harder to confront the people I love.

My current philosophy is a simple, albeit cliché one: life is a journey and not a destination. That’s what Pema and Nanny Joan are getting at. Bring yourself back to yourself: back from the downward spiral of to-do lists, back from the chain reaction of thoughts that lead nowhere and back from the dramatic arguments playing out in your head.

People call this mindfulness, but you can call it whatever you like – whatever gets you there. My Nanny didn’t study as a monk, but she gets it. A lot of people get it. They clear their heads, get some air, gain perspective, check in, pray, give offerings, do therapy and get a little help from their friends.

People get caught up in fancy spiritual terms and forget that they were coined in a very different time from our own. The same idioms and imagery may not work for us. Spiritual practices, such as mindfulness and prayer, capture a universal part of the human experience. Human experiences don’t “belong” to any particular culture or group. You can bring yourself back to yourself in many ways, whether through established spiritual traditions or more eclectic approaches.

For my grandmother, it’s mountains and goats. The goat climbs up the mountain in his endless pursuit of the summit. But when he gets to the top, he sees the whole mountain range. It’s endless and stretches out to the horizon. He might get discouraged, but during that peaceful time on the summit, he can see the whole picture, the totality of challenges that we all experience. It allows him to practice acceptance of the perpetual climb. And that acceptance gives him the strength to move forward.

How do you handle recurring challenges? And are goats the most inspiring animal? If not, then which one? Start the debate in the comments or at a Low Entropy meeting, and convince everyone with your air-tight argument.

. . . and also it’s flamingos. It’s obviously flamingos.

Alone This Time

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As the matriarch and primary caregiver in her troubled family, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Kathy Woudzia had her fill of responsibilities and challenges. These roles became her identity, and she was good at them. But what happens to a person when all that was familiar disappears, and they’re left to pick up the pieces left behind?

Please note that this article discusses substance use.

In this past year many changes have occurred in my life. Since I was 21 I’ve been a mother and wife. I’m 58 now and the kids have all left home. I never really understood the term “empty nest syndrome”, but I certainly understand that sentiment now. When I became a wife and mother that became my identity, how I defined myself. Because I became a mom at such a young age, I gave up a post-secondary education. Although I enrolled in online university courses for certifications in health and fitness studies and business, I never completed my degree. 

Over the years I held jobs as a bookkeeper, library technician and conference planner, but held no formal education in any of those areas. When I was 32 my marriage to my first husband and father of three children ended. He had struggled with alcoholism for years. Six years later I met my second husband, a professional, and at the age of 41, was blessed with my fourth child. Because his job was so demanding, we decided that I would primarily stay home, raise the kids and look after the household. 

In September 2015 my beautiful little granddaughter was born. Unfortunately, I wasn’t aware that her mom, my daughter, and her partner were addicted to opioids. My granddaughter was born addicted to opioids and needed to be slowly weaned off over the course of one month. Because my daughter and her partner were ill-equipped to care for her in a safe and responsible way, I was compelled to resign my on-call position with the Richmond School District as a library technician and begin to care for my first grandchild. Later, my daughter would move in with my husband while she was recovering from her opioid addiction. 

Many addictions include relapses, and that was the case with my daughter and her partner. For three years I was not only the wife of my husband and mother to one teenager still living at home, but I became a 24-hour on call caregiver to my daughter, her partner and my granddaughter. My days were overfilled with family obligations. I couldn’t wait to have some alone time!

Throughout my 20s, 30s, 40s and 50s I have been parenting with little to no regard for self-improvement in areas outside of family. I devoted so much time to them that I failed at keeping old friendships or starting new ones. When my daughter was in recovery and went back to her position as a science teacher, I spent my days caring for my granddaughter, cooking, cleaning, shopping and working out. That was my life minute-to-minute, day-to-day, year-to-year. It is amazing how quickly the days turned to years and the years turned to decades. I had no profession outside of being a professional wife and mother.

Then, in 2018, things began to spiral downhill. On April 22, 2018, my daughter, mother of my granddaughter, died of an accidental opioid overdose. Suddenly my world was turned upside-down. The loss of my eldest daughter was devastating and I missed her dearly. When she passed away I also lost my granddaughter because she moved to Vancouver Island to be with her dad, who was recovering there with his family.

Initially, the lack of constant attending to others was a welcome one as I was fatigued with caring for so many people and having so little time to myself. Now it was just my 17-year-old daughter, who barely needed me and my husband to look after her. I filled my days with shopping and working out with some new friends I had made after the loss of my daughter. I enrolled in a writing course with New York University and began writing about my daughter. Then another blow. My only sibling, my brother, died of complications due to alcoholism. Another devastating loss exactly one year to the date my daughter had passed. 

Six months after my brother passed I began struggling with mental health problems of my own. I began experiencing bipolar symptoms. I was admitted to a hospital for one month in January 2020. When I was released from the hospital my husband had moved out of our home. Soon after, my husband had officially left me, my daughter went to university and I found myself completely alone.

The old parable, “the grass is always greener on the other side” is certainly true in my case. From wishing for alone time to longing for the busy days where I didn’t have a minute to myself, I have now realized I do not enjoy my time on my own. Not having developed many hobbies (outside of writing and exercising) or friendships, I often find myself very lonely and depressed. Because my job was professional wife and mother, I now find my life significantly vacant of activities I used to enjoy.

For the past four decades, a constant flurry of activity gave me a sense of purpose. In the absence of a husband or children to care for, I have now lost my identity. In raising my children, I was propelled by a desire to ensure my children transitioned to successful adults. In my mind, I was convinced that because they had graduated from universities with degrees, that meant success. My daughter once said in a card, “mom, if us kids were your employees then you would win employer of the year award”. That summed it all up for me. I had put all of my energy into what I viewed as my profession, motherhood. I completely immersed myself in activities that were centred on my kids and husband. Without either as a conduit to stay busy, I now find myself with loads of spare time and no  purpose: a toxic combination. 

Empty nest syndrome did not have meaning for me until I experienced it. In addition, I have experienced additional substantial losses in my life. The reality is, I have no one left to look after. In facing “ENS” head-on, I am compelled to find a new purpose outside of my husband and children – a new identity.

Do you have any advice for anyone who might be experiencing ENS? Or maybe you have your own struggle to share, to let us know we’re not so alone after all. Please let us know in our comments section or in person at a Low Entropy meeting. 

Three Easy Steps to Conquer Paralyzing Fear

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New beginnings can be scary. Not everyone can let it go and dive into the unknown, but Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Anna Bernsteiner has advice for when you feel frozen by your anxieties.

Back when I was a kid, the most terrifying feeling on this planet was change. I remember one time when I was five years old, my parents replaced some furniture, including a sofa table I loved. That’s all it took to upset me incredibly: everything new was bad.

Of course, things are different now, but whenever I’m close to a really big change and have to make a decision, I feel that crippling fear of the unknown climbing up my body again. Not knowing what comes next and not knowing if my choice is the right one . . . new beginnings and chapters still frighten me.

However, I’m learning that the new and unknown is the one thing that makes us grow. It challenges us and what we think we know. It pushes us to self-development and greater adventures. Life doesn’t stop, and the most important lesson I have learned this year is to flow with whatever it throws at you.

So when you face change and feel anxious, try to remember that, whatever it might be, you have control over your life. No matter how drastic a decision might seem in the moment, think of how it might look in a few years. Is it still really that big of a deal? It could be a breakup, a new job or a move that’s giving you the chills and makes you scared. If you look at it from a distance, it won’t have as much power over you, and you will be less anxious and more open-minded to new beginnings. Try to zoom out for a moment and see the bigger picture of these nerve-racking situations.

Another method that helps me face the new is by writing it out, or talking about it with a friend. By explaining the problem and the fear attached, it takes away some of its intensity.

Last but not least, believe in yourself. Change is rarely comfortable. We have to go through some rough patches to grow. Learn to believe in who you are.\

Look at it this way: would you rather go into a job interview telling yourself you’re going to fail, or say to yourself, “I’m scared, I’m going to work hard and give my best. I can do it.” Either way, there is no certainty that you will get the job. But if you don’t believe in your capabilities, who will?

So whatever you are going through right now, whatever change or new challenge awaits you, stop for a minute and look at the bigger picture, talk to a friend about it and, most importantly, know you have the power to do anything – if you believe it.

Okay, so maybe it won’t be “easy” . . . but it’ll be worth it! Let us know in the comments or at a Low Entropy meeting how you build yourself up to take on the big changes in Life.

The Russian Resolution: Post-2020 Resilience and Resolve

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The first weeks and months of a year are usually littered with abandoned New Year’s resolutions. We are, however, all capable of improving our circumstances. Sharing his tale of his first, frigid year in Russia, persevering through solitude and an inability to speak Russian, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Salem Ziani encourages us to make the most of our strengths, work hard and see our ambitions through to the end.

Like Forrest Gump’s mom always said, “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get.” I think the year 2020 was a bit of bitter-tasting chocolate for almost all of us. We all confronted fear and anxiety. However, we must also be grateful, because 2020 allowed us to think about our future plans, and to consider our resolutions for 2021.

This was the fourth New Year’s that I spent alone, far from my family. This past year was the hardest for me: I had just arrived in Russia, I knew nobody, I didn’t speak a word of Russian and, without a job, I found myself alone in the world.

I moved to Russia in September 2019 to study. From the beginning I did not like my program because it was not what I expected. As well, coming from the warm weather of the Mediterranean region, Russian winters were very unusual for me. Every day the temperature was -25C, and I had never experienced that.

The most difficult obstacle, however, was the fact that I didn’t speak Russian. I was seeking general employment in industries like restaurants and construction, but I couldn’t find anything because speaking Russian was a must to be hired. I really struggled trying to fit myself into jobs that didn’t suit me.

Then I asked myself: why am I doing this? I had existing skills that I wasn’t using to move forward and become stronger. I could do better. I reminded myself that I graduated with a master’s degree and speak four languages . . . I just needed to learn another one. So I learned the Russian language in three months.

Unfortunately, just as I was building momentum, the pandemic hit, the lockdown started and life became harder again. I remember being very worried about my family, who were so far away from me. Were they healthy? Were they safe?

I was stuck in Russia, with everything around me stopped, but I didn’t give up. I found a teaching job online, taking advantage of my knowledge of several languages. Today, I am among the best teachers of the group. I am grateful for everyone who helped me get through that period and reach the place where I am now.

There is a saying that the tragedy of life is not to aim for the top and miss, but to aim for the bottom and touch it. This year, let’s take the chance of being different. Stop listening to the useless little voices that surround us: let’s dream big. Let’s do it our own way by capitalizing on our talents, our strengths and our advantages. Being different can be a source of energy and progress, and realizing this can unlock happiness.

A lot of people wait until New Year’s Eve to make a resolution and then give up from the first day. Many resolutions are wishes that require hard work and persistence: like caring for a flower, you have to enrich the soil, water the plant and be patient. And even in failure, every day is a new chance to move forward. We don’t have to wait until January of each year to make our lives better.

My wish is that, in 2021, all of us get the best-tasting chocolate. Happy New Year, everyone.

Share your resolutions with us (New Year’s or otherwise) in the comments, or tell us other ways in which you’ve pushed forward and upgraded your life. Better yet, start 2021 right with positivity, encouragement and empathy in one of our Low Entropy meetings.

Leading by Example

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After my divorce, I immediately jumped into a new relationship before the ink had dried on our separation agreement. I was committed to my new partner for 6 months before I realized we were better off as friends. A couple weeks passed by when I met someone new and found myself in yet another committed relationship. This lasted 9 months before I “woke up” and understood that I’ll never be happy in a relationship until I’m happy with myself.

In November of 2016, I made a commitment to be in a relationship with myself. I decided to take one year to focus on myself rather than pouring all my energy into a relationship and this turned out to be the best decision ever!

This is what I have achieved over the past 12 months:
1) I started a new career path that I absolutely LOVE! I get to teach leadership & development skills to indigenous communities across British Columbia and I facilitate support groups for single moms through the YWCA.

2) I created a non-profit organization that is growing beyond belief; sharing free resources (courses, support groups, one on one connections) with respect to Purpose, Clarity & Love.

3) The most important achievement of them all is this; my kids see their mother leading by example. I’m showing my kids what it looks like to live a meaningful life, create a positive impact and stay true to yourself.

Over the past 12 months,  I left the world of finance and entered the Non-Profit realm and I became a “minimalist.”  I often wonder how my kids interpret the contrast between me and their father. I live in a small 2 bdrm suite and drive a ’95 Corolla while their dad lives in a huge 4000 sq ft home and drives a new BMW.

Earlier this year, Nala, my 5 year old daughter, said to me “Mommy, why does Daddy have a big house and you have a small house?”
I replied with “because Daddy makes big money so he has a big house… Mommy is starting over and she makes little money so she has a little house.”
Nala nodded her head as she pondered this thought.
I then picked her up, put her on my lap and said “Baby, it’s not how much money you make that’s important… what’s important is how you treat other people, what’s important is WHO you are, how good of a person you are.”
Nala leaned in and said “I love you mommy.” I felt the love as we cuddled together in my cozy little home.

Last month I took a contract to teach a leadership program in Lax Kw’alaams, and I agreed to stay on the Native reserve for 12 days at a time, only seeing my kids every second weekend. Feeling guilty for being away from my kids for so long, I was encouraged the other day while I was on a video call with Nala.

My daughter answered the call, happy as can be and we chatted for a bit when she asked me, “how was your day mommy?”
I told her I had a good day at work and she replied with “Mommy your work is more important than Daddy’s” I laughed and said “Baby, everybody’s work is important.”

When we got off the phone, I smiled, reflecting upon how my daughter came to that conclusion.

Yes I’m a busy mom with a clear mission and I work a lot, I sometimes worry that I’m not spending enough time with my kids. But it’s moments like these that help me to understand that the best mother I can be is one who leads by example.

I’m proud of the mother I am, I’m not a traditional mom, but I am me… authentic and true. I stand behind the values I teach and I not only tell my kids how important it is to treat others with respect, compassion and kindness, the main thing is; I show them what it looks like to embody these values. Courageously leading by example.