Tag: gratitude

Bright Spots in Horrible Days

Posted on by andrew

Ananya Rajkumar (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

I have always been a very anxious person. It doesn’t exactly help that university life is very stressful and that for the last two years, everyone has been trying to survive a pandemic. Many people struggled with their mental health during this time, and unfortunately I was one of them. I was in my senior year of high school when the world went into a lockdown, and because of this I never had a graduation, or a prom or even my first year of university. To some this might not seem like a big deal, and honestly a part of me didn’t care too much about things like prom, but it didn’t change the fact that I felt like I’d missed big developmental milestones in my life. I was 18 years old, and instead of going out into the world and discovering myself, I was at home and struggling through online learning. I had never felt so alone and lost. I became depressed and more anxious than I had ever been, and the worst part was that I had no idea how to cope.

 

This was when I fell in love with reading. I would immerse myself in fictional worlds and live vicariously through their characters because I couldn’t handle the pressures in my real life. My brother would make comments like, “Why are you so sad? Everyone is going through the pandemic, you are not the only one,” which was ridiculous. Just because many others might be experiencing the same thing doesn’t diminish your own pain.

 

At the time though, what he said really got to me, because there were a lot of people who thrived in the pandemic, who took this pause to better themselves or take some much-needed rest. I criticized myself for not being like them. I always had a more negative mindset, but that never used to bother me until then.

 

All in all, it was a tough year, but I was so grateful for my mom, who was so understanding and encouraged me to talk to someone, and for my friends, who made me feel less alone because they felt the same way. I am also grateful for the Low Entropy community, which I joined because my own experience made me passionate about advocating for mental health and self-betterment. 

 

It’s around a year later and I am so much happier now, school is back in person, and I am living in a student house and trying to enjoy everyday life. The biggest change was not external but more internal, and it was because I adopted a different perspective. I stopped having these extremely high expectations of how life should be and tried to find happiness in the small things, like getting my favorite coffee, watching the sunset as I walk home, talking to my parents on the phone or maybe reading a good book. I would look at my days as a collection of little moments, some good and some bad, but either way I would try to enjoy them. I really tried to fall in love with life, no matter what it looked like. 

 

I was inspired to write this article for a long time, but what finally spurred me to type was a text I received from my mom. I had a very stressful weekend and had just completed a very hard midterm which did not go so well, but instead of letting it crush me, I chose to focus on how I could do better next time and the things I could do to enjoy that day. This is what I had told my mom when she asked me how I was feeling the next morning, and her response made me smile. 

 

“Good job getting through yesterday. It’s important to enjoy the difficult days as well . . . funny, but that’s a secret I discovered.”

 

Her message reminded me of how much I’d grown in the past year, and how there are not only bright spots in horrible days, but how sometimes we can appreciate hardships too, since they are what make us grow as people. 

I am happy that the world is starting to heal, but if you’d asked me a year ago if I wished the pandemic never happened, I would have agreed without a doubt. Now, though a part of me still mourns what could have been, I am grateful for the things I’ve learned about myself and the person I am today. No matter what the future holds, I know that I will still try and find a way to love life, and I hope you all will too.

 

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My name is Ananya Rajkumar, and I am a third-year life science student at McMaster University. Some of my hobbies include reading, drinking overpriced coffee and creating anything from works of writing to new recipes. I am passionate about advocating for mental health and hopefully by sharing my journey and thoughts through blog writing, I can help create change. 

The Last Time

Posted on by andrew

Linda Ng (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

In our busy lives, we easily neglect gratitude. We rush around each day, working hard at our jobs or taking care of our families. We never take the time to appreciate what is around us. Even as I write these words, each minute is ticking by without fail. The time that passes is forever unrecoverable. Time is fluid and does not wait for anyone. Whether you are reading a book or having a great conversation with a friend, the time will keep on passing. Perhaps I was slow to learn just how significant this was, or maybe I was just not worldly enough. As I grow older, time seems to be going at an even faster pace.

 

On my self-improvement journey, I came to a painful realization. Whatever you are doing, it could very well be the last time you are doing it. It doesn’t matter whether the event is happy, difficult or sad. That dinner you had with an old friend? It could have been the last time, because they might soon decide to immigrate to another country to start a new life. What about that time you went to your favourite clothing store? Maybe it was the last time that you’ll ever shop there, because they might be about to close down. All of these events just become parts of our memories.

 

But with this realization, I am still doing the inevitable. I am straying from the present moment. Instead of savouring the moment, my mind is anxious about the past or future. I am thinking about what to cook for dinner or what I have to do for work. I am physically present, but my mind is not. In other words, I am taking everything that is happening for granted. I might be looking at my phone or distracted by something else.

 

Perhaps I expect that I will meet that friend again. Or that I can visit my favourite store at any time. In my mind, I feel that there is no doubt that these events will occur again. I don’t need to focus on what’s happening, or put too much thought into it. Sadly, when I realize that it’s not going to happen again, it is already too late. This creates overwhelming feelings of emptiness and regret.

 

To overcome this, we need to acknowledge and embrace gratitude. We hear people talking about gratitude all the time in the media now. We need to appreciate what we have and treasure the good things in our lives. We don’t do enough of this, at least not intentionally and mindfully.

 

Gratitude makes us appreciate our lives in a whole new way. If I knew I would be seeing my friend for the last time, I would have made sure that we spent quality time together. Instead of just going through mindless motions or letting my mind stray, I would give them my full attention and enjoy a riveting conversation with them. I would be grateful that I had the opportunity to spend this time with them. And it’s the little things that count in life.

 

Maybe it won’t be the very last time that I see them. But by being more intentional about my feelings and actions, I am gaining so much more value from the interaction. The more I treasure them in life, the more grateful I feel. It is a chain reaction. There are so many ways to feel more fulfilled and to be happier. We can start practicing gratitude in our never-ending quest for happiness.

 

As we incorporate feelings of gratitude into our daily lives, we allow ourselves to focus on the positive instead of the negative. We feel a rush of gratefulness over the things that we can enjoy. We have people around us who care for us. This power is more than we can imagine. It’s scary that we will never know the last time anything might occur. Remove the possibility of regret — practice gratitude whenever you can!

 

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My name is Linda and I’m from Canada! When I’m not writing, I enjoy travelling, playing badminton and spending time with my pets. I have a strong passion for self-improvement and mental health topics. I’m hoping to share that with you here at Low Entropy!

Change Your Attitude, Change Your Future

Posted on by andrew

Lori Stevenson (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

You know those days where you oversleep, then have a terrible morning where everything just seems to go wrong? It sets the precedent for the day — things just continue to spiral downward. Then there are days where you wake up smiling, with a spring in your step, and you own the entire day. Coincidence? Millions of people, and science, say no.

 

We are bombarded with positive thinking quotes, and for good reason. It has been repeatedly shown that a positive outlook facilitates positive results. Henry Ford nailed it — “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.” Maybe that sounds like wishful thinking, but let’s take a closer look. If you honestly think that you can’t land that job, write that book or get a date with that cute barista at your favorite coffee shop — are you going to even try? Probably not. Those with a positive attitude approach challenges with confidence in themselves and their abilities — they will at least try. This doesn’t guarantee their success by any means, but they have a much better chance than someone who approaches a challenge with their inner voice saying “You can’t.”

 

The good news is that it is fairly easy to change your outlook and become more positive. All you need is some mindful intention. Here are some simple tips that you can add into your day.

 

Intentionally Increase Your Positive Thoughts

 

There is a good reason why almost any research you do into happiness, positive thinking or success will yield a common denominator — gratitude. The benefits of gratitude have been extolled as far back as the ancient philosophers Plato, Epicurus, Cicero and Epictetus, to name a few. Gratitude has been shown to increase happiness, which in turn increases positive behavior. It engages the prefrontal cortex of the brain, the area responsible for feelings like accomplishment and associated with the arrangement of thoughts and actions in accordance with internal goals. 

 

Employ a daily practice of gratitude — you can choose to journal these thoughts, or just acknowledge them mentally. I choose the mental option, highlighting three things that I am grateful for each day. If you are having trouble thinking of unique things daily, make it fun and easy by finding a theme. I like alphabetical — starting with A and working your way through to Z, every day think of three things you are grateful for that begin with that day’s letter. Other themes I have used are the five senses, different decades of my life and different areas of life, such as personal, family, professional and social. There are endless things to be grateful for!

 

To further strengthen your positive thoughts, you can also try daily mantras and inspirational quotes — there is an abundance online — or look to positive folks in your life for support and inspiration. 

 

Watch Your Internal Language

 

In line with Henry Ford’s quote above, language matters. Listen to your internal dialogue and look for opportunities to show yourself empathy or reframe a situation. Do you have a fixed mindset, where what is, is, and can not be changed? Or do you have a growth mindset, where what is may be changed or improved? Recently a colleague introduced me to the “power of yet.” This is incredibly effective in making the jump from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. I’m working on teaching myself Spanish — it is difficult and at times frustrating, but I keep telling myself that I’m not fluent yet. The next time you are up against a challenge, switch that internal dialogue from “I don’t know how to do that” to “I don’t know how to do that yet, but I can work on improving my skills.” You’ll be surprised how that simple tweak will serve you. 

 

Look for the Lesson or Opportunity

 

Maya Angelou once said “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” Positive, successful people focus on what they have influence over or can control and learn to let go of what they cannot. Think of being stuck in traffic. No one likes to be there — we have better places to be and things to be doing. It can immediately give rise to feelings of anger and frustration, maybe even helplessness. These feelings do nothing to change your situation, but effectively ruin your previous good mood, and perhaps the rest of your day. Instead, try looking for the opportunity that this may present. Maybe it gives you time to have a good conversation with your travel companion(s). Take out your phone and dictate your shopping list or your thoughts for the big meeting you have coming up. Tune out by tuning in to a great podcast or audio book. Reflect on your day. Do a body scan meditation. You are going to be stuck in traffic no matter what you do — would you rather be miserable, or peaceful and maybe even productive? The same mindset serves in those instances where you have tried something and were not successful. Instead of focusing on what went wrong or what you didn’t achieve, think instead of what you’ve learned — about yourself, others or the process. What could you do differently next time? This is growth, and it always breeds success.

 

Finally, being positive does not mean living in denial of the negative aspects of life — these things do exist, and we face them on a regular basis. Positivity enables us to manage those instances better, by acknowledging that they are part of us, but don’t define us, bringing hope and optimism that even the worst of times will improve.

 

Life is truly what you make it – what do you want to make yours?

 

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My name is Lori Stevenson and I am a management professional living in the beautiful Okanagan. In my spare time I enjoy reading, writing, yoga, teaching myself Spanish and walking my dogs. I am pleased to share my ideas, thoughts and knowledge here with the Low Entropy community!

Empowering Language to Cultivate Gratitude & Abundance

Posted on by andrew

Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Aldona Maria shares simple techniques to empower ourselves through language by cultivating gratitude and abundance in our expressions.


The language we use says a lot about how we perceive the world. In this blog post, I will be sharing with you a simple technique to empower yourself through language by cultivating gratitude and abundance in your expression. 

 

Even though it has become an old adage that communication is only 7% verbal, the relatively small proportion it takes up does have an impact. The words we use hold power. The parallel between “spell” and “spelling” is no coincidence!

 

So, how can you use language to empower yourself?

 

The underlying victimhood that often corresponds with a mentality of scarcity is often a conditioning deeply rooted within the psyche. It is often our beliefs that we are victims and undeserving that create situations that seem to validate those very same beliefs. This is all governed by the universal Law of Resonance, which states that your vibration will align with vibrations of the same frequency and cast them back to you.

 

When you cultivate gratitude and abundance within the language you use, you are shifting your focus away from lack and scarcity by reframing your perspective and allowing your positive expressions to manifest. This, in turn, creates positive resonance.

 

When you notice your perspective is focused on what is lacking in any given situation then, shift gears and see what there is to be grateful for, no matter how small. Acknowledge what is there. Only after you have done that, add how you will create that which you would like to have or see happen: the needed improvements.

 

For example, let’s say that you would like to have a better bike. Instead of complaining about how rusty, old, or noisy your bike is, you instead express gratitude for having a functioning mode of transportation, and that you would like to show your appreciation for it by painting it, oiling the chains and decorating it. Or, perhaps, honour the service that your rusty old bike has given you, and prepare to give it the rest it has earned by saving for a new one. 

 

Another way to create gratitude and abundance in language is, when safe and appropriate, to replace every “no” with a “yes” instead. For example, instead of saying no to a job offer because the salary offered doesn’t meet your needs, you tell the employer that you would like a higher salary. Often this is something that can be negotiated, and you might get your way! Otherwise, if the employer declines, you thank them and tell them you are going to continue your search, but that you would love it if they kept your application and thought of you, should a higher budget be allocated to the salary offer. This is a way to value yourself and keep channels open, rather than burning bridges.

 

An important note here is that when it comes to protecting your boundaries, it is absolutely ok and sometimes necessary to state a clear NO!

 

Apart from those important scenarios, you might be surprised how many negative statements can be re-framed into more positive ones. Let’s say you have given an intern a task, for instance, and you feel disappointed about how it was done. Now instead of saying, “No, this is wrong,” you could opt to say instead, “Your presence and efforts here are very appreciated, now it would be ideal if you could do this task like this.”

 

In essence, when you replace lack with gratitude, it creates abundance.

 

When you empower yourself and lead by example, you give others permission to do the same. True empowerment does not come at the cost of others; on the contrary, it creates win-win situations for everyone. This is because when you are empowered, you feel whole and there is no need to behave in ways that disadvantage others. 

 

You also need to know that the power of your intention is strong. If you merely begin by making an intention that you will use language that cultivates gratitude and abundance, you will already have come a long way. And if you, on top of that, add the belief that the way you are using language really does empower you, the effects will be stronger.

 

I hope that these basic techniques will serve to empower anyone who is open to re-visiting the use of language with the intention to transform it into a more empowering tool of communication and overall being! 

 

Thanks for reading! 


With Gratitude,

Aldona

We would love to hear about your explorations of using empowering language – if you haven’t already, try it out and then check back in to let us know in the comments or at our community site!

Our Only Duty

Posted on by vwideski

He wasn’t out of the woods yet, but that didn’t keep him from seeing the forest for the trees. Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Salem Ziani takes us back a year to Bosnia-Herzegovina with a series of vignettes from a trying time and a difficult place, right on the cusp of the COVID-19 outbreak.

March 2020, somewhere in the heart of a forest in Bosnia-Herzegovina. We’re getting ready to cross the last border and finally reach the European Union, and realize a kind of dream. The wait is too long. Despite a somewhat familiar atmosphere – reminds me of home – my chest is tight; I am overcome with fear. 3:26 a.m. The smuggler arrives and tells us that no one is going to cross today. Maybe never. “Beginning of the lockdown,” he said.

Everything had tipped over: courage and hope left me, and fear immediately took hold of my whole body. From now on, the only concern was surviving.

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The city takes on an air of war. Finding myself in the middle and with nowhere to go, I feel jealous of those people who have homes and families during this lockdown, and a little upset with those who complain about nothing.

Confused between memories and regrets, I remember all the beautiful things that I left. I regret most terribly my ingratitude for the joys I once had. It’s a lesson to love what you have, so that you’re not left loving something already lost.

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This same city that was once friendly and full of good atmosphere is now apocalyptic; I find myself surrounded by fear and angst.

It is under a bridge that we found a makeshift shelter with some homeless people. We share our food, received from humanitarian associations, and we discuss the pandemic and the tragedies of life to become familiar with each other.

Another lesson learned here, of humanism: help your neighbours.

“No man is tired of receiving what is useful. But it is useful to act according to nature. Do not then be tired of receiving what is useful by doing it to others.”

– Marcus Aurelius, Meditations (translated by George Long)

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Unpleasant news about us was circulating, so we were forced to leave the city and go to a small village where we were hosted by a monk who told us, “It doesn’t matter who you are, God does not abandon anybody.”

Fifth day, we are awakened by our friend’s screams. The pandemic has just taken the life of his mother. Is there anything more painful than attending your mother’s funeral and saying your last goodbye by video call? We were all scared and extremely sad. We all cried.

The lesson is compassion.

“Now, when you recognize that all beings are equal in both their desire for happiness and their right to obtain it, you automatically feel empathy and closeness for them. Through accustoming your mind to this sense of universal altruism, you develop a feeling of responsibility for others: the wish to help them actively overcome their problems. Nor is this wish selective; it applies equally to all.”

– Tenzin Gyatso; The Fourteenth Dalai Lama, “Compassion and the Individual”

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All discussion revolves around the pandemic: when will it end? When will the lockdown end? Are we going to get back to normal life? Undoubtedly, there are people who have other questions – people who face the pandemic on the front line, people who have lost loved ones, who have lost their businesses or their jobs. Mine were, “Will I survive? Will I ever go home and see my family again?” All of this had dragged me into a depression.

COVID-19 has brought us all to our knees; we have all been confronted with fear, anger and anxiety.

But we must have the wisdom to get the best out of it all. We must know that, no matter our situation, there is always worse. Our only duty is gratitude and, above all, patience. That’s what helped me find the will to overcome this ordeal.

With time, empathy and patience, we can overcome everything. Everyone will learn from this uncommon period in our lives. 

Will this situation bring us to a better world, full of love, compassion and mutual aid or, per contra, a world worse than the existing one, full of individualism, greed and hatred? From my side, I am optimistic that the human being is able to accomplish wonderful things, as he has demonstrated time and time again. The glow of light is approaching, and each of us will find their right path toward dreams and hope.

Tell us your stories of when you found your strength. Leave a memory in the comments section, or let us know in person at a Low Entropy meet up.