Beyond Difficult

It’s all too easy to ignore others’ struggles. Marginalization is real, and it is perpetuated when the needs of smaller, disadvantaged populations are deprioritized in favour of the overriding concerns (or comforts) of those in power. Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Elizabeth Atkinson understands this all too well.

 

Let’s just call a spade a spade. Living with a disability is difficult. Living with a disability during a global pandemic when you are a high-risk individual? Beyond difficult. It takes a different kind of strength that most people won’t understand. This is not to dismiss the issues that healthy people without disabilities have had during this pandemic. I do not mean to suggest that the pandemic has been easy on anyone. Everyone has their own personal struggles, and being a high-risk person during a global pandemic is my struggle. Everyday I battle fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis and a pituitary adenoma, as well as multiple autoimmune disorders that require me to take immunosuppressants. This makes me very high risk for illness in general, let alone COVID-19. 

 

Isolation is one of the major issues chronically ill people are facing during the pandemic. Staying home and staying safe is something everyone should try to do, because when this illness spreads, you may or may not know if you are a carrier. Staying home to stay safe is easier said than done. Some people tell me to “get out for a walk,” or “go for a drive.” This is also easier said than done. Personally, getting out for a walk can be an ordeal, depending on the day, the weather, my energy levels, whether or not I have access to my walking supports, etc. Plus, depending on where you live, getting out for a walk may surround you with people, making social distancing an unviable option. For example, I live in a crowded area, and leaving the house for a quick stroll surrounds me with people who may or may not be wearing masks and respecting personal boundaries. I also cannot drive due to the side effects of my medications. These restrictions compound COVID-19-related isolation, which leads to feeling trapped by your illness more so than usual. Sometimes what works for healthy people without disabilities does not work for people in the chronic illness community. 

 

Living through this global pandemic while having a disability has also brought on a lot of mixed emotions. Fewer people say hurtful comments such as, “I wish I could stay home all day and not have to work.” I guess some people are realizing that having to stay home is not the same as getting to stay home. One is a lack of choice, while the other is considered a privilege. However, I would take back this minor satisfaction for people to be able to live freely. I experience another mixed emotion seeing many jobs being worked remotely. Many organizations have expressed interest in keeping certain jobs as remote work even after the worst of this pandemic has passed. I am very happy more remote work jobs are available and it is being seen as a more viable option. However, I can’t help but be frustrated that, after years of begging for this issue to be looked at, it took healthy people without disabilities needing a solution for most workplaces to come up with one. I can’t help but admit that it does sting that the disably community’s cries for accomodation were not enough in the past. 

 

Other solutions to problems people with disabilities face, such as contactless delivery, the ease of ordering groceries and having them delivered to the door, etc., are all good changes that I hope stay in place post-pandemic. While the systems in place are certainly not perfect, they are helping make staying isolated easier. One way these systems can be improved is having groceries delivered to the door, instead of to the lobby, if you live in a multi-unit building. I have to frequently put in the note to the delivery person, “Please bring to door – disabled and cannot carry groceries.” Even with this added note, sometimes my groceries are still dropped off in the lobby and I have to come up with creative ways to get them upstairs to my fridge. Often, but not always, I can rely on the kindness of strangers. This is

not ideal, as it takes away feelings of independence. Additionally, it is hard to rely on strangers when you are supposed to be keeping your distance. 

 

One of the worst parts of this pandemic has been the lack of consideration for high-risk people. The number of people who say or write insensitive comments such as, “Oh, I am okay, this illness only affects people with underlying conditions or old people,” is astounding. This complete disregard for my life and others just like me is so widespread and so hurtful. It comes from family, from friends and from strangers, and reading it never gets easier. It has led me to lose multiple friends and other people I previously viewed as support, as they relentlessly made their opinions on where people with disabilities land on the social ladder very well known. The more people think they’re immune from serious consequences due to the virus, the longer the lockdowns and isolation periods will be for people who cannot safely take the same risks as others. It is a reminder that I am viewed as less than others because my body does not work in the same ways. 

 

All in all, I hope this pandemic teaches people a valuable lesson about treating disabled people with kindness, compassion and accommodation. I hope people remember how isolation and lack of freedoms can make a person feel deeply restricted. More than anything, I hope people remember that everyone is facing a struggle, and now is the time to be kind and considerate. Disabled people, just like me, deserve better than to feel like they come in last.

 

Thank you for sharing your story and perspective with us, Elizabeth. If you’ve got a story to tell, bring it to a Conscious Connections meeting, or tell it on any one of our social media channels.

Modern Isolation

Right now, we have never been more united, and at the same time never more alone. This global pandemic is impacting everyone’s lives in ways that – for many of us – is completely unprecedented. We have to deal with a reality where we are all being encouraged to stay home, avoid others, and choose who will be allowed within our personal “bubbles” – which of our friends and family will make the cut? Who can we not live without? Who can we not risk visiting, in case we ourselves are a danger to them? Who cares enough to stay in touch?

         As this pandemic continues to impact our daily lives, we need to find strategies to cope. There is a great deal of pressure to find a solution, and find it now. This is a novel experience of isolation and loneliness: even if we are sheltering in place while surrounded by family, we have a sense of being caged and restricted from our normal lives. We have lost the sense of freedom, relaxation, and emotional support gained from our favorite places, people, and activities. With this loss, I have seen a new sense of depression and malaise in many friends and colleagues. With this sense of sadness, it makes reaching out to friends and family that much more difficult. Negative thoughts prevent us from just starting what should be an easy conversation: “Do they even want to hear from me?”  “I could call or message them, but I have nothing to talk about.”

         It is very difficult to break out of a depressive spiral on your own, and even if you have a supportive family or partner at home, sometimes it takes a bit more. It’s okay, it’s understandable, and there are solutions available. When we feel so isolated, having a fresh group of people can bring an objective and uplifting look to help brighten up your life. It is amazing how this situation can feel so numbing and overwhelming, but as soon as you start talking about it out loud, a whole new perspective can be achieved. This is one of the best benefits of meeting with a support group like Conscious Connections – you can speak openly and candidly about your thoughts, feelings, and experiences, and connect with other people who are working through the same challenges.

         Conscious Connections strives to be an open and supportive space, helping those in our community who feel alone and in need of conversation and acceptance. If it’s a challenge to just get through each day, it’s so important to know that there are options out there for people who need some positivity, or who would really benefit from a new connection with peers. Your peer-sharing circle will help ease the hard times, and celebrate victories and successes with authenticity. It is always uplifting to know that we are not alone in a world that has made it all too easy to be in isolation.

 

Author: Mike Vanessa

Low Entropy

In a time when ‘social distancing’ is the most prevalent and vital of personal health practices, isolation can put extra pressure on our emotional, and spiritual health. Distancing to protect those who are the most vulnerable in our society can make many of us feel like we’re being overlooked. Whatever gains we’ve made in our personal betterment, emotional development and spiritual enlightenment may now feel deprioritized.

 

How are we meant to stay connected and yet, maintain our sense of comfort and support? Where is the sympathetic ear, the voice of calm reasoning and firm reassurance in a period of such tumult and unrest? For those who need to be heard, and for those who need to hear that voice, it’s still here. ​We are still here.

 

In the wake of a mandate which leaves us feeling confused and isolated, Low Entropy is a resource that continues to aid personal development. It’s a support system that highlights the resilience of our community in such difficult times.

 

As an organization, we understand that self-isolation and social distancing can put a strain on the community’s psyche. Low Entropy is a group of people with a common goal: we aspire to explore the inner reaches of ourselves through mindfulness and meditation, and as a result, achieve a significant social impact from a place of compassion. We share ideas and vent feelings in a safe environment, and support our members to realize their goals outside of the community. 

 

Throughout the pandemic, we continued to offer online peer support group sessions in

an attempt to give people the tools to feel connected to themselves and their community. 

 

The response we received was outstanding. 

 

When participants were asked about their experiences, they were overwhelmingly happy. 

 

One participant commented, “It creates a space for like-minded people to share and grow in awareness. It gives participants the opportunity to raise their level of consciousness to a more cooperative and loving perspective.”

 

This was very inspiring feedback not only from an empirical perspective of an organization looking to gauge its value to its community, but also from a perspective of real social development.

 

We at Low Entropy believe in a holistic approach to social change. Positive action may only come from those with a positive and centered outlook, however, the ability to achieve and maintain this outlook requires sustained guidance from a dedicated support network.

 

A like-minded community collectively working towards social action is a valuable quality in any progressive society. A group of sound and composed minds working together for a higher state of emotional and spiritual support in these times can not only help maintain a sense of stability, but encourage a state of hope and growth. The more people work towards attaining a low entropic state, the more their influence will spread through noticeable acts of compassion. Their influence will give others the energy to rebuild in the wake of such difficult times.

 

Author: Rory MacDonald

Edited by: Karissa deGuzman

Stuck at Home Schooling

Depending on where you are, it’s been about a year that we’ve been living with COVID-19. With the world put on hold for what seems like forever, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Özge Akdeniz had enough free time to put together a collection of insightful, optimistic lessons learned from an otherwise awful ordeal.

 

The coronavirus pandemic has been hard on everybody, myself included. But in the time left after complaining about how unfair life is, I thought about the life lessons I have learnt from this whole mess. So without further ado, let’s take a look at my ideas about the possible positive lessons we can take from the pandemic:

 

1) You’re not in control.

 

Yes, I know. It doesn’t sound that good. But bear with me. As humans, we enjoy the feeling of control. Some of us could even plan their entire life if they were given the chance. But in reality, we really don’t choose what’s going to happen to us, for the most part. Who could predict this pandemic beforehand? But here it is, changing our lives and throwing our plans off. Though it sounds depressing at first, doesn’t it make you feel better, the idea that you’re not the only reason why things aren’t going the way they were supposed to? This is just the right time to stop beating yourself up about all of your “failures”. 

 

2) Small things matter.

 

Going to a café and spending some time reading while I sip my coffee in a nice ambiance wasn’t something I appreciated enough before the pandemic. Nor was being able to meet with a friend and hug them. But after all, I learnt that life is all about those small things I enjoy. Even being able to comfortably breathe without a mask was a huge blessing. But I know that someday, I will be able to do these things again. Meanwhile, I’ll just focus on what blessings I have right now. 

 

3) Health is a priority.

 

How often do you stop to appreciate your health? Your body is working to keep you alive every single second. But oftentimes we don’t give our health the attention it deserves. It’s only when it is taken away, or when it is in danger, that we understand its importance. The most valuable thing you have is a properly working body and mind. Countries all over the world are fighting to keep people alive, despite the financial consequences of closing down businesses. I used to think that money ruled the world. But I was wrong. Nothing is more important to us than being alive and well. We are, after all, animals who are fighting to survive.

 

4) Hope is essential to survival.

 

The last thing I learnt from the pandemic is that having hope for the future truly matters. I don’t want to listen to people who say I have to be realistic, and that is the only way I will do well in life. When you stop having a positive outlook, it affects your mental health. Being stuck in the doomsday mentality only made my life even more miserable. When you focus on the negative parts of the situation, it usually doesn’t cause a fighting response from your brain. It only triggers the “flight” mode. You stop trying, because it seems like no matter what you do, you cannot overcome the huge problems in your life. You need to start seeing the bright future that is ahead of you, so that you will be motivated to actually make it come true.  

 

What lessons have you learned in the past year and how have you maintained your optimism? Comment here or join us at a Low Entropy meeting!

 

Our Only Duty

He wasn’t out of the woods yet, but that didn’t keep him from seeing the forest for the trees. Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Salem Ziani takes us back a year to Bosnia-Herzegovina with a series of vignettes from a trying time and a difficult place, right on the cusp of the COVID-19 outbreak.

March 2020, somewhere in the heart of a forest in Bosnia-Herzegovina. We’re getting ready to cross the last border and finally reach the European Union, and realize a kind of dream. The wait is too long. Despite a somewhat familiar atmosphere – reminds me of home – my chest is tight; I am overcome with fear. 3:26 a.m. The smuggler arrives and tells us that no one is going to cross today. Maybe never. “Beginning of the lockdown,” he said.

Everything had tipped over: courage and hope left me, and fear immediately took hold of my whole body. From now on, the only concern was surviving.

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The city takes on an air of war. Finding myself in the middle and with nowhere to go, I feel jealous of those people who have homes and families during this lockdown, and a little upset with those who complain about nothing.

Confused between memories and regrets, I remember all the beautiful things that I left. I regret most terribly my ingratitude for the joys I once had. It’s a lesson to love what you have, so that you’re not left loving something already lost.

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This same city that was once friendly and full of good atmosphere is now apocalyptic; I find myself surrounded by fear and angst.

It is under a bridge that we found a makeshift shelter with some homeless people. We share our food, received from humanitarian associations, and we discuss the pandemic and the tragedies of life to become familiar with each other.

Another lesson learned here, of humanism: help your neighbours.

“No man is tired of receiving what is useful. But it is useful to act according to nature. Do not then be tired of receiving what is useful by doing it to others.”

– Marcus Aurelius, Meditations (translated by George Long)

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Unpleasant news about us was circulating, so we were forced to leave the city and go to a small village where we were hosted by a monk who told us, “It doesn’t matter who you are, God does not abandon anybody.”

Fifth day, we are awakened by our friend’s screams. The pandemic has just taken the life of his mother. Is there anything more painful than attending your mother’s funeral and saying your last goodbye by video call? We were all scared and extremely sad. We all cried.

The lesson is compassion.

“Now, when you recognize that all beings are equal in both their desire for happiness and their right to obtain it, you automatically feel empathy and closeness for them. Through accustoming your mind to this sense of universal altruism, you develop a feeling of responsibility for others: the wish to help them actively overcome their problems. Nor is this wish selective; it applies equally to all.”

– Tenzin Gyatso; The Fourteenth Dalai Lama, “Compassion and the Individual”

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All discussion revolves around the pandemic: when will it end? When will the lockdown end? Are we going to get back to normal life? Undoubtedly, there are people who have other questions – people who face the pandemic on the front line, people who have lost loved ones, who have lost their businesses or their jobs. Mine were, “Will I survive? Will I ever go home and see my family again?” All of this had dragged me into a depression.

COVID-19 has brought us all to our knees; we have all been confronted with fear, anger and anxiety.

But we must have the wisdom to get the best out of it all. We must know that, no matter our situation, there is always worse. Our only duty is gratitude and, above all, patience. That’s what helped me find the will to overcome this ordeal.

With time, empathy and patience, we can overcome everything. Everyone will learn from this uncommon period in our lives. 

Will this situation bring us to a better world, full of love, compassion and mutual aid or, per contra, a world worse than the existing one, full of individualism, greed and hatred? From my side, I am optimistic that the human being is able to accomplish wonderful things, as he has demonstrated time and time again. The glow of light is approaching, and each of us will find their right path toward dreams and hope.

Tell us your stories of when you found your strength. Leave a memory in the comments section, or let us know in person at a Low Entropy meet up.