Tag: burnout

Long to Stay

Posted on by andrew

Max Rodriguez (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

This has been the trickiest, most weird year I have ever had. So many things I used to believe in for my whole life were suddenly not what I expected. I could honestly write a thousand blogs about everything I had to go through when I moved to Canada, but today I just want to share my perspective about my experience growing older, becoming an adult, and experiencing the world as it is for the first time.

 

Do you remember when you were a kid and wanted to become an astronaut? Maybe you wanted to be a veterinarian because you loved puppies, or maybe you played soccer with your friends every day to be just like your favorite player. Then you probably learned about computers and all you wanted to do was to be a singer, or an actor/actress, or I don’t know, change the world?

 

My career assessment stopped at this point, I suppose. My whole world was drawing and taking pictures, so that had to be my career, right? An artist. Well it is my career, it’s all I know how to do and the only thing that makes sense at this point in my life, but I had my doubts.

 

I grew up in the beautiful city of Bogotá, Colombia, but it is not common for people to think that it is a good place to live in. Not many people love or respect my hometown, and for a long time neither did I. My dream was to become a filmmaker in this perfect city called Vancouver. In my last year of high school, I found out I was very good at math and that I loved science. My heart started to long to stay in my small and simple life, and I guess that if school had finished a week after, I wouldn’t be writing this. But my 17-year-old self was drunk with power. She wanted to leave and be surrounded by this big industry’s air, she wanted everyone to know her name, she wanted to be busy and prove a lot of things to a lot of people.

 

Two years later, after taking my leap of faith, I learned the meaning of the word “burnout.” I was extremely lost, tired and lonely, and I didn’t know who I was anymore. All I could think about was going home, hugingging my mom, doing stupid things with my friends and never hearing the word “Vancouver” ever again. I was so scared, all I knew was that I wanted to get into college, but I didn’t know what to do after it. Wait, are you telling me that my grades are worth nothing? That graduating with honors doesn’t open doors? That all the people who I helped in college are just going to move on without me? Are you telling me that people are not going to give me the jobs I’m applying to? That student loans must be paid?! That I must get groceries every time I run out of food?!?

 

I couldn’t handle it. I went straight back home, leaving everything behind.

 

But then I was home . . . and two years had passed without me. My room wasn’t my room anymore, that delicious ice cream I used to eat all the time tasted like butter, my allergies came back and the medications I used to take for them made me sleepy again. Mom was busy with my sister, my friends were hanging out with their new friends, passing cars didn’t stop when I was crossing the street and . . . I realized I wasn’t part of their lives anymore. This wasn’t 2019, it was 2021. I was not the person who left two years ago. My place was in that city I hated because of all the pressure I put myself under . . . all my hard work and burnout would be worthless if I didn’t go back. 

 

Then I started watching a series on Netflix called Maid and I realized that this is what life is about, breaking and building ourselves over and over, until we know how to handle it. Until we learn how to cook our lunch, until we know how to handle rejection, until we figure out how to accept ourselves and our lives. It’s not supposed to be easy . . . it’s supposed to be what it is meant to be. We’re supposed to fall until we learn how to fly, and I guess it’s about living as many experiences as possible so we can share them with people and maybe encourage them to keep going, cause maybe, just maybe . . .

 

What we need isn’t what we want, and you just must find out by walking a few uncomfortable steps further.

 

—

 

Max Rodriguez is a Colombian and Canadian who is an unstoppable artist with a strong passion for filmmaking.

Turning To-Do into Done

Posted on by andrew

 

 

It’s analysis paralysis – if you’re all about ideas, overthinking can create a logjam that stalls your best intentions, leading to burnout. Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Emma Norton explores how we can process those ruminating thoughts in healthy ways, to get you back up and running.

 

Burnout is a state of emotional, physical and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. Our modern society is all about goal-oriented hustling to achieve some sense of status. Confronted with overwhelming pressures – whether external or self-imposed – we create an unhealthy dynamic for ourselves. 

 

Regardless of how you experience burnout or where it is derived from, you can trace its roots back to your neural wiring. How do you handle stress, and what triggers it for you? 

 

In my experience, I have always been a highly creative person: I generate ideas. I also, as a positive, can be organized and complete tasks. But I often felt overwhelmed, taking on duties that weighed me down simply because I was capable. Working on multiple projects at once or being a support for others going through hard times, I got used to going through a burnout cycle. Recently, as I have been working to streamline my life in many ways, I acknowledged that the stress I was feeling came from a key factor: I have often had a hard time turning thoughts into action.

 

Why? I’m all about the ideas. I can connect things and find the reasoning in most scenarios well beyond anyone else. If you spark my creativity, I can come up with a multitude of magical concepts for you. But in the excitement, my to-do list builds up so quickly that I ruminate on its items instead of crossing them off.  

 

I experience burnout because I have the inspiration to do all these great things, but the overwhelm comes from thinking I have to do everything independently. As an independent worker, I feel like I have to do everything myself. This comes from a mistrust in others built up over the years, as well as a lack of boundaries when it comes to taking more on than necessary. Burnout from both control issues and people-pleasing often comes from the same source: thinking there is something to prove. It comes from the worry of letting others down or being pressured to perform beyond your current capacity. I can look back to these experiences as great lessons that helped me level up and prove myself. But the real lesson was that my opinion was the only one that truly mattered in the end. 

 

I have been reviewing the idea of turning thoughts into action as I have realized the mental stress that I impose upon myself instead of chipping away at that to-do list. Here are some tools I have been implementing with great success lately:

 

Join a Networking Group

This is not just for professionals: if you are a new parent who is feeling burnt out or a student feeling overwhelmed, there are community-minded groups to participate in. Find something relatable to your scenario. Just talking with others helps, as does being open to their perspectives. It can also help you realize you are not alone, and from a professional standpoint, you may very well find others with whom you can collaborate.

 

Exercise

I often exercise to the point of burnout, but I also manage the other stressors in my life during these sessions. When running, for example, I can take a lot of those ideas swirling around in my head and give them (literal) legs. Taking this time to connect my mind and body helps me refocus and get out of my head. I always prioritize exercise within my schedule because it is such a valuable outlet for me and my pent-up energy.

 

Have Your Non-Negotiables

Depending on whether you are a disciplined, routine-oriented person or a free-flowing, take-life-as-it-comes kind of person (I fall somewhere in the middle), have your non-negotiables. Taking a break from the ruminating thoughts and redirecting your focus to a non-negotiable activity or practice for some time (even if it is a planned time in your schedule) is crucial.

 

Pick three non-negotiables you have to incorporate into your day/week/month. These are your actions. These are the movements that you can use to ground your thoughts. For me, it’s running, painting and giving myself manicure/pedicures. The latter also conveniently supports the first two! As you can see, my list includes physical activity, creativity and self-care, all of which I can redirect my thoughts into. Try this for yourself!

 

What are your three non-negotiables? Is your favourite one “reading the Low Entropy blog?” Sure it is! Let us know your other two in the comments below or on any of our social media channels!