Month: February 2025

Lauren Long (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

I first discovered fanfiction in college. I was a Glee fan at the time and shipped Puck and Rachel (Puckleberry), so all of the fanfictions I read were about them. I remember feeling like Finn and Rachel’s relationship was forced, while the one between Puck and Rachel was more natural and they brought out the best in each other. 

As the seasons changed, so did my interests where fanfiction was concerned. I never had time to write any while I was at school, but I read stories whenever I had a moment. That was my reward after studying, I would go to the gym and walk on the running track to burn off the study angst and stress, and when I was done, I would go home and read one or two chapters before going to bed. 

I went from being a reader of fanfiction to a writer a couple of years after I graduated from university. During my undergrad, I took a couple of writing classes because I knew I wanted to be an author, I hadn’t even considered blogging at the time. One class was good, but in the other I had repeated experiences of my peers dissecting my story and completely destroying my confidence. I actually had someone say in their peer review that my story was boring. 

Well, after that semester I swore I would never pick up a pen or write again, except for school essays and assignments. For the longest time, I worked other jobs and pursued other academic paths that could lead to employment. 

Kismet had other plans though, because one day a fanfiction plot bunny (writer lingo for story ideas) started hopping around in my head and wouldn’t stop. I started writing and posting, and with every review I received, my confidence came back. 

Several years have passed, but I continue to write fanfiction. To date, I have written two stories for Gilmore Girls (Team Logan anyone?) and seven for Fate: The Winx Saga. 

I disliked the way they ended the original Gilmore Girls series and the 2016 revival because it was an unfair and untrue representation of Rory and Logan and the journey they had been on together, and the amount of growth that they experienced as a couple and as individuals. This led me to write an alternate-universe one-shot of the revival’s final episode and a multi-chapter story that starts when Rory is getting ready to graduate from Yale. 

One of the reviews I’ve gotten for the longer Gilmore Girls story said “the beauty of fanfiction is that you can fix things that you didn’t like in the original series or wish that the show’s writers had done differently.” The deeper I went into this story, the more things that bothered me in the original series came up, such as Rory growing up in a potting shed for the first nine years of her life. I’ve had people thank me in their reviews for addressing that and holding the character who permitted it accountable. 

Okay, now that I’ve talked a bit about Gilmore Girls, let’s turn our attention to Fate: The Winx Saga. If you’re a fantasy lover like me, you may have heard about this series that was adapted from the Winx Club cartoon that ran from 2004 to 2009. 

Fate: The Winx Saga has two seasons on Netflix, and though the second season was well-received, on November 1, 2022, the show’s showrunner Brian Young announced on Instagram that Netflix had decided not to greenlight the third season, much to the disappointment, consternation and, in some cases, anger of the show’s fanbase. 

Through the Discord server that is dedicated to the series, I’ve met so many great people who are talented writers and artists that keep the show’s fandom alive. I’ve never written as many fanfictions for a series as I have for Fate: The Winx Saga, but there’s something about the show that speaks to me. 

If you’re an aspiring writer, I highly recommend writing fanfiction for the fandoms you enjoy. Not only will it bring you enjoyment, but it also teaches you how to deal with feedback. I’ve had some nasty reviews on my stories, but that’s what the delete and block buttons are for! I don’t tolerate abuse of any kind on my stories or my social media, so if someone leaves a comment that’s meant to be destructive, it will be removed. 

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Born and raised in Quesnel, BC, Lauren Long is a strong advocate for mental health and well-being, as well as being a major Swiftie and a role model for positive body image. She believes in the value of truth, and that truth matters. When she’s not writing, you can find her on the pole, on the training mats or curled up with a good book.

Love is, in essence, beautiful. It fills our hearts with unfaltering excitement, and shows the path to lead a more wholesome and fuller life at the service of those we truly care about. Without love, life is meaningless and empty, and there is no joy in doing the things that can improve our living conditions. When we act out of love, we welcome forgiveness to our life, and open the pathways to heal from old wounds—unkind words that once hurt us and made us think less of ourselves. Love transforms us into kind souls ready to serve our fellow humans in the name of peace and justice. 

Being good is a rare human quality that many simply assume that they possess, when in fact many of us who do good do so purely to satisfy our own egos and desires or fulfill our personal goals and interests. Ignorance is bliss—as the saying goes—but it is not accurate to say that we are good when we only give our love to people, places, activities and things we deeply care for. If we really care, we don’t place expectations in between. Nor do we attempt to hold off our love for those things. We give our love unconditionally. We do so simply because it feels good, because it floods in positive energy and creates effortless lightness and carefree joy in us. 

A life spent giving love is indeed a life lived well. We won’t regret it, because it brings abundance and self fulfillment with it. It also gives us control over those aspects of our strengths and capabilities that need to be nourished while helping us let go of those people or things that no longer serve us at times when we need to make room for the new (isn’t it that if we let go of something and if it still got back to us, it was truly meant to be for us?). It also helps us focus on relations we want to keep or further cultivate. 

Doing things from a place of love helps us challenge ourselves to practice patience with the attitudes, presumptions and prejudices we encounter in our environments on a day-to-day to day basis. We might seek to pay closer attention to the needs and wants of others through active listening, bearing in mind to always see the good in others in order to build strong relations that can thrive with time. Little by little, we would also come to acknowledge that love and respect are inseparable and mutually inclusive, that not everyone is worth the time and effort we exert to bridge differences and view in a positive light, and that despite all this, we should still shine our lights into those little moments we share together, be it at home or work or in society. If we believe in the power of love, we can move mountains and molehills; we can teach love by showing love. 

Little acts of kindness, here and there, can go so far. Dropping our gently used clothing items to a donation centre, sharing a meal with a close-knit community, volunteering our time to help others learn hands-on skills and become employment ready or, if and when we can, chipping in some of the change in our wallets on our next visit to the grocery store or our favorite coffee shop will positively impact the livelihoods of others, even if only incrementally. The important thing is to keep the flow of positive energy in our daily interactions and let the universe work its wonders and bring happiness and joy to the lives of those who need it most. 

Being loved is as important and essential as loving, and there is no denying that by giving love we increase our chances to be loved back. Of course, with some people it might never happen. And with others, things start to work their way only in time. But with most, it does, and nothing, I mean nothing, beats the experience of being loved back once we have initiated the first few steps toward it. 

May our lives be filled with love and the joy that accompanies it. 

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Leave your thoughts for Mahsa in the comments below. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and YouTube to stay up-to-date with Low Entropy news!

Rowan Sanan (he/him/his), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

Fandoms have changed greatly over the years, especially as internet and social culture has shifted. More “underground” communities like those of the game Dungeons & Dragons have since turned into mainstream global presences both in person and online. Where one of the only places to meet like-minded people in your fandom may have been conventions in the past, now it is possible to meet anyone, anywhere, through blogs, fan forums and social media. This created an outlet for real-time access to other fans and creators to share interests, fanart, memes and videos. Countless collaborations and new ideas have developed from it. 

The psychology of fandom runs quite deep. Connection and identity are huge parts of fandom, especially when it comes to attaching to a particular topic and sharing that connection with others. These attachments can be emotional bonds with stories and characters and can lead to emergences of communities that all rally behind those common attachments. These communities can be extremely beneficial to people who may be unable to make connections in other ways. For example, a disabled or neurodivergent individual may be unable to speak to others in person, but can make friends through online spheres using these fandom spaces. 

In this way, it can be extremely helpful for people struggling from mental illness or stress. These supportive environments can be very empowering, especially when paired with a passion or interest. They provide emotional escape and stress reduction, as well as creative outlets for people to share their work, ideas, excitement and opinions. Fandoms sometimes have negative reputations for being cult-like or “nerdy,” or for being immature. After all, they often cater toward teens or children. However, these communities can be beneficial for anyone because of the sense of community that they bring. 

Even though they can have negative connotations, fandoms have huge influences on pop culture and activism. Niche or nerdy fandom interests like comics and gaming have become part of dominant mainstream culture. For example, in the past, Marvel and DC comics may have been considered “nerdy” and weird, but now they are both some of the largest movie, game, comic and series franchises in the world. Part of fandom is that the content made from these sources is relatable, fascinating or new, and hooks people in with ease. 

As for activism, it is fascinating to see how fans leverage their collective voices in both online and in-person spheres to push for change and address social issues. A lot of fandom content, whether it be mainstream or indie, has subtle or overt commentary on world issues. A large part of fandom, just as creators influence their fans, has to do with fans influencing the creators or the world around them. This can include pushing creators to be inclusive and add representation to their content or creating whole communities based on these fandoms to create change. 

Fandoms can last for years and years as well. Often, older fans will rediscover their favourite franchises from childhood as the content resurges with younger fans. For example, the show Doctor Who recently featured both their first female Doctor and first Black Doctor. These innovations in what the show typically was—white male Doctors and their female companions—created a tidal wave where older fans returned to see the new content. Of course, some of them were disappointed with the changes or the writing itself, but these reboots, remakes and anniversary editions still bring older viewers back. Whether it is because of curiosity or sentimental value, old fans return to their fandoms all the time.

Despite these incredible things, the internet and fandom don’t come without toxicity. Gatekeeping, or arbitrarily limiting certain groups from accessing the content of a particular fandom, is a popular way of fans keeping certain communities secret or away from the common sphere. These methods create unwelcoming environments, especially when the gatekeeping is motivated by something like racism, ageism, sexism and/or homophobia. Online bullying of marginalized groups is, unfortunately, somewhat common in various fandoms, which affects the communities that fandoms try to build. 

Another way that toxicity remains in fandom is the relationship between consumer and creator. One common example is YouTube creators and their fans. Parasocial relationships between these YouTubers and their fans happen when fans develop an obsessive need to know everything about their favourite—their love lives, their home lives, where they live or work, which other creators they like or dislike, and more. The communities made through fandom can be extremely connecting and liberating, but they can create situations like these where creators are made uncomfortable by their own fans. 

Even though there is that toxicity between creators and fans, it is still important to acknowledge the incredible things that come out of fandoms. Fans can expand on their favourite stories through fanart, fanfiction, summary and review content, and more. It can often enrich the original material and lead to ever-growing branches of content, like those seen on the YouTube series Game Theory. Expanding the original content and creating fan-based industries brings these fandoms even closer together, weaving communities through a common adoration of “nerdy” content. 

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Rowan is a university student who loves to write books and poetry, read all kinds of books and spend time with his family and pets.

Cristina Crescenzo (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

Platonic love, often misunderstood as a mere absence of romantic desire, is a deep and abiding connection that can provide comfort, joy and meaning in our lives. Unlike romantic relationships, which can be complex and fraught with expectations, platonic love between friends offers an unencumbered bond built on mutual respect, trust and shared history. For me, this has been most evident in the friendships I’ve maintained with the same group of male friends since we were five years old. Our friendship has weathered countless ups and downs, yet has remained steadfast in a way that many romantic relationships might envy.

Much like the iconic dynamic portrayed in When Harry Met Sally, where Harry and Sally’s relationship defies the traditional boundaries of friendship and romance, my experience has been a testament to the power of platonic love. In the film, Harry (Billy Crystal) and Sally (Meg Ryan) debate whether men and women can truly be friends, and while their eventual romantic relationship is undeniable, their friendship is foundational. It is the way they support one another through heartbreaks, frustrations and life changes that forms the core of their bond. Their journey is a portrayal of how deep, unconditional friendship can grow into something more, and yet even in the absence of romance, their connection provides a powerful foundation for what true love, in all its forms, might look like.

In my own life, I’ve had the privilege of maintaining friendships with a few men for over two decades. From the age of five, we’ve shared a bond that transcends the typical definitions of friendship or companionship. We know each other’s deepest flaws, insecurities and vulnerabilities, and yet none of it has driven a wedge between us. Instead, it has strengthened the foundation of our relationship. We are not afraid to share our imperfections because we know that we are accepted unconditionally. This level of trust and understanding isn’t common, and it is a form of love that has always been incredibly fulfilling.

What makes our relationship so special is the absence of the complicated emotions and pressures often found in romantic relationships. There are no games, no expectations that one of us will act as a romantic partner or “fixer” to another. We don’t question each other’s motives or wonder if our actions are driven by romantic interest. Instead, we know that we are there to support each other through thick and thin. Whether it’s celebrating successes, comforting each other through losses or simply sitting in silence while enjoying each other’s company, the comfort and stability of our friendship is what makes it unique.

The ability to make each other laugh is a cornerstone of our connection. Humor has always been a part of how we navigate life’s challenges. It’s an easy way to defuse tension, ease difficult conversations and remind us that, even in the darkest times, there is joy to be found in each other’s presence. Whether reminiscing about our childhood antics or sharing inside jokes that have lasted years, the laughter we share solidifies the understanding that we are in this together, no matter what.

In a world where romantic relationships often come with uncertainty, jealousy and complicated emotions, my platonic friendships offer a sense of relief and security. It’s a rare gift to know that you have people who love you without conditions or ulterior motives. Our bond doesn’t come with the pressure of romantic commitment and yet, it provides a depth of care and connection that many people might only dream of experiencing.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that I don’t value romantic relationships or long for one in the future. In fact, I have always believed that any significant other I may have one day would be incredibly fortunate to inherit the same qualities that define my friendships: trust, mutual respect, acceptance and a sense of humor. If I were to pursue a romantic relationship one day, I would want it to be based on the same principles that guide my friendships. It would need to be one of mutual understanding and support that is free from the pressures and emotional entanglements that can sometimes accompany romance.

Platonic love, at its core, is about acceptance without expectation. It’s about being there for someone without wanting or needing anything in return. In a world where love often feels transactional or coming with conditions, my experiences with my lifelong friends remind me that true connection doesn’t always have to come with romantic undertones. In fact, sometimes, the most profound and lasting relationships are the ones that don’t require anything more than mutual respect, laughter and unwavering support. In the end, a strong friendship, even without romance, is powerful enough to carry us through life’s challenges and offer a love that is enduring and unshakeable.

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I am just a 24-year-old finishing her English bachelor’s degree at Simon Fraser University who loves to read and write in order to help someone in some small way. I will also always advocate for mental health and disabled causes through the written word and Low Entropy lets me do just that.

Neema Ejercito (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

Please note that this article discusses sexual abuse and assault.

As I go through my healing journey, I celebrate the small wins of taking my inner artist out on dates. I even sent myself snail mail, which felt weird because I kept hiding the envelope from my husband, even if I had written my name in Japanese. Even the fact that I felt I had to do that was weird in itself. Long story short, I just didn’t want him to make fun of me, nor for me to have to explain what I was doing. The point I’m trying to make is that I have issues of negative self-worth. And I’ve been trying to figure out why, when all this time I thought I’d had a great childhood and received so much unconditional love that I could not think of ever fully repaying my family except by paying it forward as best I can.

I have lately made the painful realization, however, that I held such idealized notions of my family and what they had given me that I idolized them. Strange, considering the fact that I had been sexually abused by my older brother and my dad almost sexually assaulted my niece (my sister’s daughter), and though my parents, siblings and their spouses know about it, no one has really taken the time to talk to me decently about it, except maybe for my brother-in-law, who is the father of the aforementioned niece.

My eldest son has commented that there was a time my social media stories and posts were too much about self-love and being happy with myself. My youngest daughter actually grew tired of Andy Grammer’s song “Love Myself” because, according to her, I overplayed it (I’m glad Spotify can contest this though, because my top songs and artists of 2024 were neither of them).

As I thought more about how I truly had such crippling self-loathing, I came to the conclusion that it did, in fact, stem from that time I was sexually abused. I don’t know, dear reader, if you are thinking, “Well, duh . . .” because, to be honest, I never really studied the effects of that abuse on me until I had to look it squarely in the face.

So as I end my article, I just want to let people know that one of the things that happens to the person one sexually abuses is this:

We feel worthless because of what you’ve done.

We may not know it, but we live with perpetual denial of self-worth. I personally have been questioning why I feel undeserving of experiences. As my eldest put it one time, “No offense, Mom, but your posts are too much about self-love.” And I hated realizing that it was because of what my older brother had done to me. And now I am so protective of myself that I’ve learned to be guarded from everyone who would condone that—with their silence, with their inaction. And I have said goodbye to anyone in my life that exhibits that kind of behaviour.

There’s still a lot to unpack, for sure, but coming to that conclusion has taken years of every kind of help I could possibly have at my disposal. I had to relearn the meaning of what it means to have someone who truly has your back, and I’m proud to say that I actually have more than 10! May we all indeed be so blessed.

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Neema Ejercito is a professional writer, director, and creative writing mentor. Her 3D edutainment series for beginning readers, AlphaBesties, is showing in Japan’s streaming platform, Prairie Kids. When she’s not writing or mentoring, she helps develop apps with her husband in their EdTech startup and manages her household with him and their two adults and teen.

Nei (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

In society’s hierarchy of important and unimportant things, platonic love often takes the short end of the stick in comparison to romantic love. Romantic love is highly sought-after and desired by most, and the absence of it is considered a failure, social suicide to the more melodramatic. People often talk of putting work into a relationship, usually in reference to romantic partnerships. Friendships are supposed to be easy, casual and void of any work. Even moreso, they are often considered as secondary priorities in one’s life after romantic relationships, familial relationships, work relationships, etc . . . As someone who has been blessed with more platonic love than romantic love in my life so far, I am here to make a case for platonic love, and a plea that we add it to the priority list for our life plans.  

Having good and lasting friendships is not something to take for granted. Some people are simply unlucky in friendship, and that experience is real and more common than we think. But friendless folks are not quite as pitied as single folks around Valentine’s Day. I have been privileged enough in my short time on Earth to have experienced the deepest, purest, intimate and fulfilling friendships throughout the various phases of my life. My childhood best friends and I have known each other for over 20 years. My university friends have turned into my much-needed family in Vancouver. Today, my best friend and I often joke that we do everything a husband and wife might, minus the physical intimacy part. It’s a blessing I don’t take lightly. At any moment I have a handful of people I can call on for various life events. I usually have a date for events if needed, a shoulder to cry on and a person to call upon for life’s ups and downs.

The beauty of good friends is mostly in the fact that friendships are not exclusive. The more the merrier. One friend does not need to meet all your needs in the way monogamous partners are often expected to. My friends are all completely different and they all complement and support me in different ways. I have friends with different interests, views, religions, genders, sexual orientations, professions and more. When we are all together, our conversations are always passionate, engaging and meaningful, because we challenge each other, always with love. When we spend time one-on-one, I’m exposed to new ways of thinking and supported in the most dynamic ways. 

Platonic love, to me, is having a deep appreciation for someone whose success and joy you feel as though it is yours. It is not possessive or exclusive, but expansive and timeless. Platonic love is less likely to fade because it is free of expectation, but so strongly rooted in a simple desire to experience life with someone. Life’s best and worst moments are made better with companionship. People often look to romantic love to be the source of companionship that sustains them, but I think that romantic love is just one element of a much-needed diet for happiness. Without friends, we are demanding so much of our partners. Friends are fundamental support systems, sources of joy, and spaces for growth and learning. 

There have been multiple studies done on aging people that have looked at people who live to their late 90s and some over the age of 100 to identify what these people do to live so long. Many have found that, among the top few things that these folks do, friendships and maintaining relationships often comes up in some way. Our sense of belonging is fueled by having access to people who make us feel loved, supported, challenged and valued. 

I’ve shared so many key memories with my friends, so many firsts, and some lasts. I’ve celebrated countless birthdays and been hosted for so many dinners. I’ve met mothers, grandmothers and siblings, and been invited to share moments in which I was honored to have been involved. When I was unwell and in the hospital for a few weeks, I had friends bring me a change of clothes, underwear and a toothbrush, and call me regularly to see how I was doing. 

I might just be one of the extra-lucky ones, but I don’t take it lightly. I value my friends so deeply that I often feel undeserving. But I know that we operate via the same code of conduct and that we are guided by the same values. Our specific views might differ here and there, but at the core of our bond is a deep appreciation for community. My respect for community was built by my solid childhood friends, who have seen me through the transition from childhood into adulthood. It has been strengthened by the people who have joined me in my current phase of life, and I hope to continue adding to the list. Even if I don’t add more friends to the list, I would be more than satisfied to keep the ones I have today. 

I hope that more people divert their attention to finding solid friends if they don’t have them already. And if you do, take a moment to appreciate the beauty of your bonds. 

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Nei is an aspiring writer who finds solace in music, meditation and long walks. With a belief in the power of difficult conversations to challenge the status quo, she’s on a journey to make her mark and hopes to share her insights through the pages of her own books one day. Keep an eye out for her thoughtful musings and storytelling.

Cassandra Di Lalla (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

I know I say “I love you” multiple times a day and it’s probably to the point where it might even border on annoying to my loved ones. It’s just so important for me to express my gratitude and my deepest sentiments.

The act of showing love or receiving love is so rewarding, but it’s also incredibly underrated as well. Many people take for granted the ability to love and be loved. The words “I love you” roll right off my tongue because it’s effortless to care about my family. They’re so easy to love.

I hate it when there are arguments amongst my family and I. In fact, I find it repulsive when it even gets to that point. I absolutely despise it. But my love for them will always overpower any disagreement or foolish behaviour. Will those unkind words or pettiness really matter the next day if something tragic were to happen? Don’t ever end an argument with words or actions you will later regret, and don’t ever walk away from a disagreement without first expressing your love despite the dispute. Time is truly of the essence. Things can change in as little as a millisecond. I’m honestly so fearful that an argument or disagreement will ensue and then the next moment, they’re lifeless. I think that’s my biggest fear . . . losing someone right after having said some not-so-pretty words to one another. My heart feels pitted, yet somehow so heavy just thinking about that. It brings me to tears. The thought of me ending a phone call or ending my day without saying “I love you” is distressing, because it’s diabolical. Honestly.

I’m notorious for overwhelming people with abundance, because when I attach myself to someone, I love them wholeheartedly and unconditionally. It’s not mandatory to love or care about people we’re related to. We’re able and very much allowed to choose who we want to love and who we want to care about. I’m choosing to love my parents and brother, not because they’re my blood, but because they’ve taken care of me since day one and they’ve shown me what love truly is. I’m choosing to love them because I want to give them all of that love in return, and then some. I truly don’t know anybody more deserving and worthy of love than my parents and brother. They’re good people with massive hearts.

It’s heartbreaking to know that some people don’t understand the depths of love, or that some don’t understand the impact it has. There are always people out there who need love because they’ve never received it before, or because they’ve been pushed away and living in isolation. Some people need mercy, kindness, patience, support and an outpouring of reassurance to be able to feel love again. 

At the end of the day, love is one of those things that exists everywhere among us, and something that lingers. It’s in our hearts, minds and souls, and runs through our veins. It can be found anywhere and at any moment. Love comes in many forms, and though with great love comes great pain, it’s better to have loved at all than to have never had a heartfelt connection with anyone, despite the heartbreak that follows. Loving someone intentionally is such a pure and vibrant feeling. It’s a wish that a genie can grant, but it’s also a privilege, since not everyone knows to love carefully and sensitively. Our hearts weren’t designed to hold permanent pain or guilt, but there comes a time where we might feel that tenfold. Loving and being loved is absolutely vital in moments like those, and it’s the seed of hope you need in order to push through and keep going. We’re given so many opportunities in life and though there are many obstacles to overcome and challenges to face, having love in your life keeps the heart pumping and your serotonin levels healthy. 

Don’t ever stop loving or caring, because losing or missing out on that is a bitter pill to swallow. The heartbreak that follows is life-altering in the most painful of ways. Love is infinite, so follow the figure eight on your journey in life to keep your heart eternally full.

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Cassandra Di Lalla lives life purposefully. She enjoys reading, writing and mental health initiatives. She’s an animal lover for life and an innovative individual always finding new ways to create.

Diny Davis (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

“Love is like the wind, you can’t see it but you can feel it.” – Nicholas Sparks

Have you ever found yourself at a crossroads in your relationship, where your words just don’t seem to resonate with your partner? If so, it’s possible that the two of you might be speaking entirely different love languages. Understanding and learning these love languages has the power to transform your relationships. In this article, I’ll take you on my personal journey of becoming fluent in love languages and explore the profound impact it had on my relationship.

Discovering My Partner’s Languages

Sharing insights with my partner brought an eye-opening discussion. Through open conversations and mutual explorations, we discovered that acts of service resonated much more with my partner than gifts did. This experience altered how we approached daily interactions and expressions of love.

Bridging the Gap

If there is a lack of expression, then a gap can appear in any relationship. But with adequate actions from both people, this gap can be bridged. And to create a bridge, my partner and I committed to understand each other’s priorities, interests and hobbies.

My Journey to Love Language Fluency

The concept of love languages, introduced by Dr. Gary Chapman, suggests that we all have preferred ways of giving and receiving love. Becoming fluent in all five love languages wasn’t an overnight process for me. It took time, effort and a lot of self-reflection. Here’s how I tackled each language:

Mastering Words of Affirmation

Start appreciating your partner’s efforts and time. Complimenting your partner not only brightens their day, but yours too. It becomes a habit when it is done on a daily basis, a way to start the day on a happy note.

Perfecting Acts of Service

This language came more naturally to me, but I learned to be more intentional about it. I started paying attention to the little things that would make my partner’s life easier. This gave me immense joy, as my partner valued my time and efforts too. Who doesn’t like to receive a validation for one’s efforts?

Refining the Art of Gift-Giving

Try to understand your partner’s likes. They will be amazed to receive a gift from you that was mentioned a long time back. It will be a surprise for them to know that your conversations were given so much importance.

Elevating Quality Time

Spending quality time with your partner is very important. If spending quality time with them on weekdays is not possible, then make sure to at least grab some time in the morning or evening for conversation with your partner. Trust me, it won’t take more than 10 minutes. 

Make sure to plan to go out together on a weekend. It doesn’t need to be a fancy place, it can just be a walk in the park or beach while watching a sunrise or sunset.

Embracing Physical Touch

Simple physical touch like a hug or kiss is as important as a smile in any relationship. Greeting your partner with a hug whenever they leave home or giving one when they return can reinforce the idea that their presence is significant to you.

The Challenges of Multilingual Love

Becoming fluent in all five love languages wasn’t without its challenges. There were times when it felt forced or unnatural. I had to remind myself that, like learning any new language, it needed practice and persistence.

Balancing Act

Another challenge was learning to balance all five languages. It’s easy to fall back on your preferred method, but true fluency means being able to switch between languages as needed.

The Rewards of Love Language Fluency

The effort to become fluent in all five love languages has paid off in ways I never imagined. My relationship has become deeper, more fulfilling and stronger.

Applying Love Languages Beyond Romantic Relationships

One of the most surprising aspects of my journey was realizing that love languages apply to all types of relationships, not just romantic ones: understanding my friends’ love languages has helped me be a better friend. I know which friends appreciate a thoughtful gift and which ones would rather have a long, uninterrupted conversation.

In the same way, applying love languages to family relationships has helped to strengthen my familial bonds as well. 

The Transformative Power of Love Languages

My journey to becoming fluent in all five love languages has been transformative. It’s changed not only how I express love, but also how I value and receive it. I’ve learned that love is not a one-size-fits-all concept, but a rich, varied language with many dialects.

By putting in the effort to learn and speak all five love languages, I’ve enriched my relationships, improved my communication skills and gained a deeper understanding of human connection. It’s a journey I’d recommend to anyone looking to enhance their relationships and emotional intelligence.

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Diny Davis is an aspiring author who is passionate about fitness and a strong believer in the close connection between physical and mental health. She is a journalism, psychology and literature graduate, a loving wife and a caring mother who maintains a balance in her work and personal life while giving emphasis to self-care.

Grace Cheng (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

Exploring the complexities of love and connectivity is a challenge filled with many pitfalls. Many people find that subtle details in relationships can be perplexing, which leads to affection being misunderstood.  My perspective changed profoundly when I encountered Gary Chapman’s five love languages principle. The idea that people express and receive love through a primary language resonated deeply with me. I have enriched my relationships and deepened my understanding of connection through my pursuit of fluency in the five love languages, despite my skepticism at first.

Discovering the Five Love Languages

There are five love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time and physical touch. Everyone has a primary love language that significantly influences their interactions. I remember learning about these concepts during a workshop about relationship dynamics. Following the session, I felt inspired to learn more about this fascinating topic.

My journey began with identifying my primary love language. After taking an online assessment and engaging in some introspection, I discovered that quality time was my dominant love language. Situations involving undivided attention, meaningful conversations and shared experiences suited me well. This discovery opened my eyes to how my past relationships had either flourished or suffered from communication errors.

Translating Love Languages: My Personal Experiences

After seeking a deeper understanding, I observed how my family members expressed feelings. I was not only eager to explore my own love language, but also those of others. It took patience and intentional effort to accomplish this task. To enhance my relationships with family, friends and romantic partners, here is how I approached each love language.

• Words of Affirmation: The Power of Encouragement

My understanding was quickly enhanced when I realized that certain individuals thrived on verbal expressions of love and gratitude. I grew by integrating verbal affirmations into my daily life. Through regular appreciation, I strengthened our emotional bonds and encouraged open communication, whether it was acknowledging a difficult day’s work or celebrating minor successes.

•  Acts of Service: Love Expressed in Action

Acts of service became a significant way for me to express my love to those who resonated with this language. I realized that simple actions—like cooking for a tired friend or helping a family member with household chores—could be profoundly impactful.  In many cases, actions are more powerful than words. As I embraced this love language, my relationships improved as others recognized my efforts, leading to deeper connections. 

• Receiving Gifts: The Significance of Thoughtfulness

I initially doubted the significance of physical gifts in showing affection. Nevertheless, I realized that what mattered most was the thoughtfulness behind a gift, not its monetary value. The joy of gifting a friend their favorite book or surprising them with their favorite snack can strengthen bonds. By pairing thoughtful gifts with meaningful experiences, I found that actions could convey heartfelt sentiments that went beyond material things.

• Quality Time: The Heart of Connection

Quality time has always been a refuge for me. It was my goal to deepen this bond by making every moment spent together with loved ones more meaningful and memorable. As a result, I introduced regular “unplugged” evenings, in which no screens were present, only our voices and our combined presence. The time I spent with my loved ones was often spent playing games or taking leisurely walks. Being present and engaging in genuine conversations had a powerful impact on my relationships. Shared moments like these left lasting impressions and enriched our understanding of what love is.

• Physical Touch: A Language of Intimacy

Initially, incorporating physical touch into my interactions was challenging. Although I appreciated hugs and gentle touch, I realized how often physical affection can go unnoticed. From supportive taps on the back to warm embraces, I began to include more physical touch in my interactions intentionally. With this practice, closeness and support are cultivated in a subtle yet impactful manner, thus making it an essential dialect of love.

The Benefits of Becoming Fluent in Five Love Languages

As I gained a deeper understanding of the love languages, my relationships began to change in profound ways. My ability to express love in ways that resonated with others helped me resolve conflicts that previously seemed insurmountable. By aligning my expressions of affection with those around me, I transformed miscommunications into understanding.

As a result, my self-awareness significantly increased. By learning how my loved ones preferred to receive love, I became more attuned and empathic towards them. It became clear to me that some friends might need confirmation or encouragement, while others might just want to spend time together. My personal and professional relationships flourished as I wove together the five love languages.

Conclusion

Though I now consider myself a fluent speaker of the five love languages, I recognize that I have a long way to go before I can fully master the languages of love. In every interaction, there is an opportunity to learn and grow.

In embracing these varied expressions of love, I have opened myself up to deeper relationships. My appreciation for the diversity of languages spoken in relationships and the complexity of love has grown. By celebrating love languages and connecting authentically, a transformative journey has been illuminated for me.

Embark on your own quest to master the five love languages, knowing that they are more than simply guidelines—they offer a compassionate framework for nurturing human relationships.

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Grace has an accounting and finance background. She enjoys reading, writing, listening to music, watching movies and playing sports.