Tag: FamilyRelationships

The Benefits of Having Family Trees

Posted on by andrew

Grace Cheng (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Why should we create Family Trees?

The decision to create family trees will take you on an exciting journey through time. You will begin your journey at the beginning of your life as a time traveler. Review your birth record again and make a note of the details of your birth, including the location, the date, the names of your parents, and include the maiden-name of your mother. Afterward, you should record information about your residences, education, marriage, and children. Then, you should begin researching the lives of your parents further back in time. Making a family tree can be a wonderful experience for you to share with your children, parents and grandparents, and if you are extremely fortunate, with your great-grandparents.

What is a Family Tree?

A family tree represents a person’s lineage in the form of a tree, showing relationships with common ancestors. At the bottom of the family tree, you are represented, as well as your current generation and immediate family. Following this, the line would be branched upwards and outwards to represent your parents, their respective family trees, and other distant and close relatives as you continue to research the origins of your family tree. 

Benefits of having Family Trees for Children

  1. help children understand where they came from

It is common for children to be unaware of where their families originated from or to have no cultural connection to their ancestral homelands. While this may not come as a shock, children deserve to have the opportunity to feel a close connection to a country, culture, ethnicity, and town. Identifying one’s cultural identity can provide insight into everything from one’s family name to one’s ethnic makeup to one’s food preferences. Children need to understand their family tree to feel part of a larger culture.

  1. Build their self-discovery

It is human nature for children to desire to know who they are and where they come from to feel a sense of belonging. Family trees can be used to gain a deeper understanding of their ancestors by tracing their roots back through generations to establish a frame of reference for their current lives in a broader historical and geographical context. It will also strengthen their self-identify, allowing them to gain a deeper understanding of their families’ past, the family line responsible for their births, and who their ancestors were.

  1. Allow children to become interested in their family history

A family tree can help children in gaining an understanding of their family’s past. It is common for children not to recognize the names of their grandparents after a generation or two. But a family tree can provide them with valuable information regarding their ancestors. As a result, they may become curious about the notable people in their family history and what they accomplished. Through these conversations, children can learn more about their current family members and where they reside. 

  1. Create a legacy for loved ones

You can pay tribute to family members by building a family tree in their honor, and you can leave a legacy that will benefit your children and their future generations. If loved ones have passed away, a family tree will allow children to commemorate the times they spent with them and remember the important role that they played in their family’s history.

  1. Encourage children to bond with their relatives

Children may discover they share similar traits and personalities with their aunts, uncles, and cousins through the creation of a family tree. They will be able to relate better to their relatives if they are aware of where they fit into the chart. Children will also be able to establish connections with their relatives. Being able to form meaningful connections with relatives is integral to living a happy and fulfilling life.

  1. Encourage children to stay connected with their families

Being connected to their families helps them maintain a sense of groundedness throughout the years. A family tree is an excellent method for fostering family connections in your children. Besides learning names and relationships between people from the past, your children can also gain valuable insight into their desire to stay connected.

  1. Make children more empathetic and resilient

When children are taught about the terrible tragedies their ancestors experienced, they are more likely to be courageous when they are facing life challenges. As a result, your children will develop compassion by understanding the shortcomings of their relatives, which will enable them to be more compassionate individuals.

  1. Learn about their family medical history

Learning about their family tree will also enable them to understand their families’ medical history. So many diseases and conditions are passed down genetically, so knowing their genetic risks are always beneficial.

A family tree can assist in connecting you with the members of your family, even the ones you may not have known to exist, or who you may have lost contact with over the years. There is a possibility that your family still lives in the area even though you are unaware of their existence.

 

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Grace has an accounting and finance background. She enjoys reading, writing, listening to music, watching movies and playing sports.

Even When it Hurts: A Perspective on Family Conflict and Acceptance

Posted on by andrew

Se Joon Park (he/him/his), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Words are powerful. They have the power to start quarrels and end prolonged conflicts. Relationships can be broken by poorly spoken phrases or mended over wisely chosen words. This is especially evident within our families. Many people experience divides between family members over words and their unintended meanings, with effects sometimes lasting for years. Why, then, do we choose words that cause pain to those we love over words that can bring healing and encouragement? Why is communicating with family so difficult and what can we do about it?

 

Not so long ago, I, too, was a single member in the audience of a symphony of criticism. My attempt to share good news with my parents over Zoom — my acceptance to a reputable undergraduate writing program — quickly compelled my mother to begin an uninterrupted, two-minute slam poetry session on what was wrong with my life.

 

“What is the matter with you? You’re not 21 anymore! When are you going to grow up and get married? Why can’t you take a full-time job like everyone else? Your cousins in America are getting married and starting businesses. Why can’t you be more like them? Do you want to see your father die before you get married? I can’t sleep at night because I am so ashamed and embarrassed. I cannot share any good news with others because I have nothing to boast about my own son!”

 

Though we certainly had our fair share of quarrels in the past, this was the first time she had burst into tears and anger. And no one else could have crushed me into shame as my mother had in that moment. Heart shattered and mind livid, I walked to the local park with all the burdens of the world on my shoulders. With each step came a wave of pain and anger crashing deep into my soul, as my mind, against my will, replayed the scene in copious amounts of detail: my mother’s eyes filled with tears, her quivering voice that cracked at every other sentence, accusatory words that placed all the blame for her pain upon me. 

 

When my mind was finally at ease after hours of walking in silence, I was left with an uncomfortable question: Why was my mother so inconsolably upset? I wasn’t committing any crimes, nor was I bringing harm upon myself or others. I was only pursuing what I thought would make me happy. I thought they would be proud of me. As I searched through years of memory and everything that had contributed to our quarrel, I came upon three uncomfortable truths: the first two were that our definitions of happiness were irreparably different, and we would never truly see eye-to-eye. The third truth, the one that tied the two aforementioned truths into a single bundle, was the most significant of the three: our difference of opinions should never take away from our love for one another.

 

We grow upset when our loved ones express ideas that contradict or challenge our own values. I believe that this very expression of our hurt is, ultimately, an indication of how deeply we care for our loved ones and their well-being. However, true acceptance never expects our loved ones to compromise their own values for our sake. We must practice radical acceptance. Radical acceptance never forces. It accepts without agenda, embraces without terms and loves without condition. It is the only bridge that can close the gap between us, from the years of hurt, neglect and pain. Though we may not understand, we choose to love. Though we may go unheard, we choose to accept — even when it hurts. We must also understand that we do not do this alone. It is a mutual decision where we, along with our loved ones, choose to accept one another. We must be in this together.

 

It was then that I realized that my mother’s expression of hurt was only an indication of how much she wanted to see her only son get married, settle down, work full-time and have the life of her dreams, because to her, and for many other Korean parents, that was the definition of happiness and success. 

 

Both of us had a choice. We could either reject each other or we could choose to accept without the intention of changing each other.

 

Eventually, I called my parents again. I didn’t scream. I didn’t accuse. I let them know that I was happy on the path I was taking. I expressed my deep desire to do what made me happy. I also told them how much it hurt the last time we talked. After a momentary pause, my mother quietly replied with a defeated “okay.”

 

I’m not sure if my parents truly understand what I am pursuing. I’m not even sure if they were actually listening. But after a week, as we always do, we called each other again. We asked how each of us were doing and what each of us had been up to. We shared a few chuckles here and there. And, like many other families, we acted like nothing happened. Though none of us mentioned anything about the fight, I like to think that we are choosing to accept each other without the intention to change each other.

 

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Se Joon started volunteering at Low Entropy as a blog writer in February 2022. He immigrated to the U.S. from Korea in 2001, where he completed all of his education from secondary school to his postgraduate degree. He left the U.S. in 2018 and has lived in Vancouver since then.