Tag: ComfortZone

Ending the Stigma Surrounding Mental Health

Posted on by andrew

Cassandra Di Lalla, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Mental health as a whole is one of those things where uncertainty is okay because mental health is a non-linear element in life and it can go in any direction, not based on wants or needs, but based on situations, feelings, events and unfortunately tragedies.

 

Mental health knows no boundaries and mental health does not discriminate. The wellness of our minds is sometimes, though more often than not, completely out of our control. We might give anything a go just because we are so desperate to keep ourselves mentally well, but unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way because some mental illnesses feel like big bullies and are always finding ways and reasons to attack us when we’re already feeling low. 

 

Sadly, mental health is often frowned upon, still…to this day, and we’re almost in 2023. For those who struggle with such issues, it is so complex and not just “sadness” or “anger” creeping up on us but much more than that and a lot harder to endure. We go through so many challenges in life wondering why whoever is above us is testing us like this. 

 

When people do not take the time to educate themselves or those who do not wish to learn about the constant struggles relating to mental health, it really makes us feel as though we’re total outcasts. Groups that struggle with their mental health are already marginalized enough because there are so many people in the world that turn the other way when mental health is involved or if a person with a disability is thrown into the mix (and yes, mental health does fall into that category).

 

The world’s views on mental health are completely upside down, so, I guess you can say that the world’s views are still “under construction”. 

 

Have you ever heard of people saying that we’re attention seekers, we’re manipulative, we’re psycho, we’re delusional, etc.? Yes, so have I…on several occasions. And you know what? That’s not okay. What IS okay is to not feel okay all the time. That’s perfectly normal…for any human being on the face of this earth.

 

Here are a few ways in which you can help myself and our marginalized community:

  • Accept us for the good, the bad, and the ugly (oh, and sometimes the unknown)

Yes, that statement sounds like something that would typically be in a wedding vow and that’s okay but, mental health as a whole often takes you for a ride. They’re not always joyrides and sometimes these rides will first require an entrance or admission fee to the amusement park (equivalent to accepting the fact that you’ve been diagnosed with a mental illness) followed by waiting in line for a ride (which is having to find professional help such as a therapist) and then once you’re on the ride, there are bumps, twists and turns, it’s shaky and it throws you in the air making you feel like the ride will fall off the tracks (and that’s the stage where you are having to deal with all of these emotions and feelings…the most challenging part of mental illness).

  • Educate yourselves and practice patience

Imagine how we feel dealing with this everyday. Now, if you’re having a hard time understanding something or you’re unsure about a term used – please educate yourselves, ask questions, show compassion. Please have patience when it comes to learning and have patience with us as we try our hardest to navigate and explain our struggles freely though at times we find it easier to have things left unsaid or other times we wish that things were just left unread. There are moments when we feel as though it is less complicated if others didn’t know; however, we understand that our actions or our way of thinking would probably make much more sense if we took the time to share our story because then people would also truly see why we behave a certain way or why sometimes our bad days seem everlasting and our good days are so minimal. Patience should undeniably be a two-way street in this instance.

  • Don’t fight us, tell us to calm down, or say things like “Get over it”

We are not trying to be hostile. We are not trying to instill fear in you. We are not trying to inflict emotional damage on you by unknowingly playing the guessing game. We are up and down with our emotions. We are unsure and sometimes uncomfortable. If we become agitated, angry, sad, scared, or anything in between – please do not fight us and tell us that it’s all in our head, that we need to calm down, and that we’ll “get over it”. Try the following instead: “We’ll be okay. We’ll figure things out. We’ll talk about it if and when you feel comfortable. We’ll explore healing. We’ll find our zen.” By using a positive and non-invasive approach, you are reassuring the individual that they’re in a safe and non-judgemental environment where they can seek help if they decide that’s the next step they want and need to take. Remember, it already takes heaps of courage for us to confront our demons and to accept the fact that these demons made an unwelcome visit because they’re confident that we’re the perfect person to fall victim to their wrongdoings. They knock at our doors at ungodly hours of the day, entering our life for a surprise stay…a couple hours, some days, a few months…my gosh, they’ve even extended their stay for as long as they feel suitable or until they find their new scapegoat.

  • Be an advocate, spread awareness, fundraise/campaign

I mean, we’re just stating the obvious. But, you’d be surprised at how little mental health is actually talked about in this day and age – how nobody really wants to shed light on the wellness of your mind. Many workplaces still have the audacity to raise an eyebrow when we ask for a day off as a result of mental health. It’s quite sickening that having a single day to rest and recuperate psychologically is a problem to most employers/businesses. I’m not only tired but I am exhausted and sometimes I just don’t have the strength, willpower, or interest to wake up the next day and just be…just live. We have every right as an employee and as a human being to take a break. The need for “me” time and self-care. We have the right to put our health first. We have the right to be accommodated. We have the right to feel lost in our thoughts and feelings, and we definitely have the right to be heard on a universal level. So, SPEAK LOUDER and don’t ever be afraid to OPEN UP. Employers do not have the right to brush you under the rug or terminate you due to mental illness. Other human beings do not have the right to judge you based on your struggles. 

 

You can be our voice if we sometimes fall short of our own expectations (or society’s expectations for that matter) and you can also be our voice when we feel we have no voice left from the constant rejection or redirection from others. You can be the support system that lacks in some places whether that be a corporate office, a retail store, an uncomfortable setting, etc. You can post/share mental health initiatives or even fundraise. There’s always a way to help even if you are only one person, because that’s one more lifeline than what we had before…one more person who can save a life, and one more person who can end the stigma. We can’t reverse the stigma or go back in time but we can lend our ears to listen, offer a shoulder to cry on, be static when our emotions are dynamic, and be the calm after the storm. 

 

Honestly, the list of ways to help is exhaustive. There’s always a way for people to be a place of comfort for those struggling with their mental health. I am human and I am your equal. Nothing more, nothing less. Please be kind and don’t take for granted another beating heart. By saving them, you may have also been saved.

 

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Cassandra Di Lalla lives life purposefully. She enjoys reading, writing and mental health initiatives. She’s an animal lover for life and an innovative individual always finding new ways to create.

Breaking Out of Your Comfort Zone

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Eri Ikezawa (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Have you ever stood on the edge of a cliff? 

 

Toes curled right over the lip, hearing the whispers of the breeze, felt it skimming across your arms like skipping stones, as you peered over the precipice? A landscape of sea stacks lies below, like the maws of an undiscovered beast, the seafoam frothing around the tallest rock pillars, the pointed canines in its endless mouth. The current is torrential, lapping violently at the cliffs, eroding the surface grain by grain. You wonder how deep it is, thinking if it’s possible to break the surface once you enter its yawning depths. 

 

So, do you take a leap of faith? Or do you stay, right at the edge, precarious but still safe? 

 

That’s how I feel sometimes, navigating my way through uncertainty, right before I make a concrete decision that has the potential to change the course of my life as I know it. 

 

Now, as a quick interjection, I must confess I am not an adrenaline junkie. I don’t like heights, I don’t like extreme sports, and I am easily frightened. Honestly, the moments before I make a life-altering decision may, perhaps, be the only times where I will voluntarily endure an adrenaline spike—moments that feel as if, for example, I am going cliff jumping. 

 

I remember when I entered my first year of university, I was riddled with crippling depression. My sleep schedule was non-existent, my moods were erratic, and my mind was fraying into infinitesimal pieces that I felt I couldn’t glue back together—and my grades reflected the dismal condition of my internal state. 

 

I remember I would spend time either staring blankly at my load of homework, knowing I should start, or I would sleep at random hours of the day. The homework would stay mostly unfinished until I was scrambling mere hours before it was due and whatever minimal material I would try to study before tests was out as quickly as it went in.  

 

I felt lost. 

 

I was uncertain about my chosen area of study, I had minimal confidence in my social skills, and I was panicking about my future. Even as I type this, I feel a phantom veil of anxiety, frighteningly reminiscent of those times. Eventually, my mom asked me if I wanted to live in Japan with my relatives for a semester. 

 

In that moment, I felt as though my mom—with the best of intentions—had lured me onto the cusp of a cliff dive, pushing me gently until my toes were hanging off the edge. My heart had been racing, and my breathing became short, my vision narrowed until all I saw was the endless abyss of…the unknown. 

 

All I could think about were the cons in that moment. If I deferred a semester, then I would be behind everyone else—a pariah in the eyes of society’s tacit expectations of students. I had never lived with anyone besides my parents—much less in a different country with a vastly different culture. I didn’t know if my knowledge of the language was enough to get me by and I didn’t know if I was brave enough to take the plunge. 

 

There were so many reasons not to, so many reasons to sit securely away from the edge, tucked away safely in the lush field of my comfort zone. 

 

But against all odds, and to my own surprise, I decided to go for it. 

 

Long story short, although I experienced difficulties and hardships while I was overseas, the plethora of knowledge, valuable experiences, and introspection I was able to indulge in was wholly irreplaceable. 

 

During that time, I was able to garner appreciation for spending time on my own. I would take long walks by myself, relish in the aloneness, sculpt burgeoning half-formed thoughts about myself into something more concrete. I also discovered my love and aptitude for language, ardent and passionate. As I was immersed headfirst into Japanese society, it was easier to discern the immediate differences between Western and Eastern cultures—from there, it was easy to derive what I appreciated most about each one and what attributes I think could stand to improve. 

 

When I returned to Canada, I felt refreshed and composed. 

 

It is like breaking the surface of the water below after that initial rush of adrenaline as you finally take the leap off the edge—the winding roaring past your ears on the drop, a fragile entity hurtling towards the dark abyss. But then, you break the surface and all you feel is the immediate biting sensation of the cold water surrounding you. 

 

And once you get accustomed to it, it feels nice—it’s refreshing. 

 

Once you take that first inhale in, it feels euphoric, a victory after a long struggle standing at the precipice—now a pinprick in the distance above you. 

 

That’s how I feel retrospectively looking back at my decision to go to Japan. 

 

Although, it took me great fortitude and commitment to decide to be alone after feeling alone, a prisoner in solitary confinement of my mind and my depression—it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life. 

 

I came back to Canada with a new determination to focus on my academics—switching my major from psychology to linguistics, a product of my newfound love for languages. I had a greater appreciation than ever for my parents, for my home, for the country I live in. I had a better knowledge of how big the world really is, and as a result, my mind vastly opened up. 

 

It taught me that life is a gamble at times, that I must juggle between the risks and benefits of a situation, before ultimately coming to a decision. I realized that the comfort zone is merely a temporary solution to ward off future anxieties and fears, but that I would not experience self-actualization or progress if I voluntarily chose to stay stagnant. 

 

—

 

My name is Eri Ikezawa and I have an extended minor in psychology and a major in linguistics. I’m still on the path to quelling questions about myself and the direction I want to head in, but in the meantime, I have always wanted to find a way to help others and contribute to a community dedicated to personal development and self-love.

Supposed to Be

Posted on by andrew

Anna Bernsteiner (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Please note that this article contains strong language.

 

Who are you and who are you supposed to be? That’s an interesting conflict right there. Ever thought about the person you could be if you stepped out of your comfort zone now? No more waiting, no more procrastination. No judgment holding you back. What would you do? 

 

On my bus rides to school (I’m a college kid now, my mum is thrilled) I usually get the best ideas. I say usually because most often they are the most random things. 

Like a week ago, I decided I wanted to run a half-marathon. 

Well, every day I wake up early (I regret listening to my stubborn head) and run for as long as I can . . . which sometimes is only 15 min, but I’m doing it. 

A month ago, I decided to stop feeling bad about where I am (Europe) and decided to take advantage of that European passport and travel to Portugal and Rome and Greece. I booked it and I’m going.

A couple of days ago I thought, man, I want to try and do something creative, and bought tools to make clay earrings. 

And just this fall I decided to start a podcast, and that’s what I did. I have four followers, which I’m so proud of, and they are not at all my cousins.

I started doing all these things because if I don’t start doing the things that I want to do, how can I ever be the person I’m supposed to be? 

So every time I have an idea, I write it down (it doesn’t matter how nuts it sounds) and do it. It might sound easy to you, but how often do you think of starting something and never do it? 

 

Life sucks sometimes and we all go through the bad shit and the good days, but life is too short to be someone you don’t want to be.

If you have just been thinking about something that you always wanted to try, here is your chance to get up and do it. Doesn’t matter if you suck at it. 

Be who you are supposed to be and don’t look back!

 

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Hi, I’m Anna, I’m a student and I write blogs for Low Entropy. In my free time I like to explore new countries and cultures, try new foods, languages and meet new people, and I try to write interesting articles 🙂

Discomfort

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Terence MacLaine (he/him/his), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Comfort.

 

We all seek it. We all want to be comfortable. But what about DIScomfort? Is it a bad thing? Is it always undesirable? Our brains, for the most part, are conditioned to regard words with “dis” preceding them to be negative. And often, if only subconsciously, anything negative is looked upon unfavorably. But is it so with discomfort?

 

Let’s examine some scenarios.

 

Scenario number one:

 

Kyle is 23, single, and has difficulty forming meaningful relationships. He has squandered many opportunities because of the uncertainty of the outcome. Like most of us, he wishes it was simple, but in his mind, he figures he faces at least a 50 per cent chance of rejection. It is this fear that has held Kyle back. The fear of stepping out of his own comfort zone. He realizes he is being held back by his unwillingness to leave his comfort zone and has decided to try something different.

 

Kyle works with Erin, who is also single. He enjoys working with her and wants to get to know her outside of the office. He has envisioned all kinds of scenarios in which to approach her, but he has yet to act on it. Kyle is at a crossroads. 

 

He realizes he can either risk feeling uncomfortable by asking Erin out, or continue to wonder what might have been. Kyle eventually asks Erin out for coffee, and she accepts. 

 

In this instance, Kyle is rewarded by facing discomfort, which in turn has the added benefit of helping him grow as a person as well.

 

Scenario number two:

 

Winnie has been with her company for over three years. Like Kyle, she too is at a crossroads. She feels she deserves a raise, yet is afraid to upset her boss by asking for one. Winnie has also noticed she is beginning to feel unrecognized for all her hard work and has come to the conclusion that the only way for her to move forward is to ask for a raise, or continue to languish away. She knows that in order for her to succeed, she will need to be uncomfortable.

 

Winnie ultimately decides to ask for a raise and is rewarded for her efforts. Once again, we see discomfort as a motivating factor. Discomfort, like any other fear, can be a healthy thing.

 

It is nature’s way of telling us we are in dangerous or unfamiliar territory. But it can also be the springboard for growth. Personal growth. This is to take nothing away from comfort, as it too has its purpose. But too much comfort can also be dangerous, for if there is no struggle, there is no growth. No progress. 

 

Ultimately, it comes down to your perception of discomfort, and how you choose to approach it. You can try to avoid it whenever possible. But at what cost? Or, you can use it as an opportunity to better yourself.

 

As the saying goes: do something once a day that scares you.

 

Do it twice when it doesn’t.

 

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Terence MacLaine is a writer and blogger from Vancouver, BC. He has a lifetime of experiences set against the backdrop of beautiful British Columbia, and brings his stories to the world in his blog, The Adventures of Yesteryear (theadventureofmemories.wordpress.com).

Starting Small

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Jihu Lee (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Can you think of any skills or abilities you acquired during childhood that are now second nature to you? Perhaps developing a love for a food you used to hate or learning a second language that you are now fluent in. You probably didn’t notice much progress until a sufficient amount of time had passed. Change accrues over time and takes patience, whether we are trying to become skilled at a hobby, see gym results or pull ourselves out of a dark place. 

 

We sometimes can’t help but wish for instant gratification, so we’re often reluctant to start something at all. But starting somewhere, no matter how far of a shot in the dark, will eventually lead us to our goal point. In the 1980s researchers identified six stages of change, the first of which is mere precontemplation, where people have no intention whatsoever of changing their behavior or lifestyle. This should indicate that even the smallest of steps counts as a move towards change, no matter how unproductive they may seem. It may feel daunting to take a step out of our comfort zones, until we start to see our hard work pay off. But keep in mind that taking initiative puts you further along the way than if you had done nothing at all, even if the beginning looks unpromising. 

 

Another key point to staying on track towards change is to be consistent with our efforts. During times when everything seems stagnant, rest assured progress is slowly happening. Imagine a leaky tap dripping water into a bucket. Initially, you might think it will take an eternity before that bucket fills up. But be patient and the water will rise to the brim before you know it. 

 

Most importantly, we need to be self-aware and hopeful during our journey towards our dreams. Doing the same thing over and over won’t produce different results. That isn’t what consistent effort entails. Instead, we must push ourselves to be cognizant of where we can improve and to stay humble so that we don’t let a milestone get to our heads. Similarly, we have the right to give ourselves credit for the work we are putting in. Just because change isn’t immediately visible doesn’t mean your efforts are all for naught. Rebecca Solnit’s take on being hopeful is that it is the balance between optimism – the belief that everything will be fine without taking responsibility – and pessimism – the belief that everything will end up in ruins no matter what. Between these hot and cold endpoints is the gradient of uncertainty where it is up to us to take action. Hope reassures us that no matter what kind of outcome we get, our efforts create the ultimate impact. 

 

Here is what we have discussed so far about working towards change: 

 

  1. Take a step: it doesn’t matter how small or if you’re doubtful of whether or not it’ll be worth it. All you need is to start, and from then on, you’ve already pointed yourself in the direction of change. 

 

  1. Just because you don’t see anything yet doesn’t mean nothing is happening: don’t be discouraged when you can’t see much progress overnight, within a week, over the course of months or even years! Change doesn’t adhere to deadlines, so always remind yourself that every effort you put in will reward you somehow, even if not in the way you’d expect. 

 

  1. Don’t be afraid to evolve: not surprisingly, in order to see change, we must change. This can mean different things for every individual. You might recognize where you lack and intensify your efforts, while another person learns to respect their own boundaries and give themselves the rest they need in order to be more productive. Whatever it takes, we have to evolve if we want to create change in our lives. 

 

  1. There is hope: it is okay if your investments didn’t produce the rewards you wanted. Even if you didn’t fulfill the goal you were aiming for, the experience you acquired in striving to reach it will surely serve you well in another walk of life. 

 

Starting out small can set off a chain reaction of progress. As a final note, I want the reader to remember that everyone lives at a different pace, and a slow journey is never a sign of inadequacy. And it is never too late to try something new as long as

you just start!

 

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My name is Jihu, and I’m from Salt Lake City, Utah! I have been with Low Entropy since May 2021. Some of the things I love are reading, writing, listening to music, playing with my dogs and spending time with my sister!