Tag: Recovery

Mental Health and Addiction; Ending the Stigma

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Taylor Caldarino (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

What is stigma? How is it harmful and how does it discourage people from receiving and accessing care and harm reduction in regard to addiction and mental health issues? What are the ways we, as a society, can erase the stigma around mental health and addiction? These are questions I would like to try to answer. First off, let’s start by talking about what stigma is. Stigma is defined as “a mark of disgrace associated with a particular circumstance, quality, or person.” There are three groups of stigma, self-stigma, social stigma, and structural stigma; each comes with its own set of difficulties and hurdles. I think it is also important to note that addiction is listed in the diagnostic statistical manual 5 for mental disorders. 

In the sense of mental health and addiction, why is stigma bad? Well, this is because stigma often coincides with guilt, shame, predispositions and embarrassment. First, let’s talk about how these feelings are particularly bad for those struggling with mental health issues. Stigma can decrease the rates at which people access mental health services. Why should we care? This is because a lack of access to care can increase suicide rates, decrease treatment rates, cause a decrease in educating others about mental health and as well as decrease diagnostic rates. 

Self-stigma causes an individual struggling with addiction or other mental health issues to feel shame due to negative societal beliefs. People often condemn these populations from society, describing them as scary, a threat, lazy and other derogatory terms. This can cause the person suffering to avoid seeking help when they want or need to due to the fear of being judged or feeling as though their mental health struggles are their fault which adds to the barriers to healthcare these populations face. 

Social stigma is the view that others hold about the stigmatized group, this leads people to be fearful of these groups. Social stigma can also result in a lack of empathy for those struggling, this can result in not perceiving these populations as equal which can affect laws and programs in place to help these individuals. Social stigma also leads to the not-in-my-neighborhood effect (NIMBY) in which services have a hard time finding locations to start their programs since there are often protests about locations opening up. An example of this would be a safe injection site, some might say it will encourage drug use in their area, destroy their area, cost taxpayers more money, or cause used needles to be found in the area. I have been in an apartment where there was a safe injection site below and the people who lived there said they have never experienced any issues in the years they have been living there and that the people who use this facility are nothing but respectful. I thought that was an interesting thing to say since people who are a victim of addiction are often seen and labeled as dangerous and destructive. However, this just proves that this stigma is untrue, there are parents with young kids that live in the building and they feel safe. 

I would also like to briefly explain what addiction care and harm reduction are since educating is a way to help end stigma. Addiction care and harm reduction can include programs such as safe injection sites and programs that allow users to safely detox from a substance such as methadone treatments and managed alcohol administration. Addiction stigma is problematic because it impacts the laws surrounding addiction care and harm reduction, this coincides with structural stigma. Structural stigma is embedded into the system so it results in the poor treatment of those with mental health and addiction issues. These individuals often have their struggles minimized. 

The idea that decriminalizing drugs, opening safe injection sites, or providing methadone treatment will encourage drug use is an allegory. If these become the norm does that mean you will start using these drugs if you do not have the urge or have not already? Probably not, those who want to engage in recreational drug use probably are already. Not only does de-stigmatizing drug use help those who have an addiction but can also reduce costs since these facilities save lives and decriminalizing drugs results in fewer people incarcerated. One person in a hospital bed costs about $8,000 per day for standard care or one person incarcerated costs up to $259 per day. The loved ones of those struggling and those struggling may also feel relief knowing that the risk of developing diseases from unclean needles will be decreased, they can freely test their substances to ensure they know what they are taking and know that there is a non-judgemental community there for them if they do decide to recover. 

How can we end the stigma around addiction and mental health? Well, this is through anti-stigma education which can help reduce stigma in all settings such as school and work settings (especially healthcare). Guest speakers who have dealt with mental health issues or professionals in the mental health field coming into schools can also help destigmatize addiction and other mental health issues. It is important to let people know that addiction is a mental health disorder and is not “self-inflicted” like many think. If there is less societal stigma, self-stigma may also be reduced. There is also less of a chance of feeling shame and structural stigma through a shift in perspective and policies.

 

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My name is Taylor, and I am currently majoring in psychology and minoring in gerontology at Simon Fraser University. I also love to hike and cook!

Mentorship and the Benefits of Seeking Help

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Heidi Collie (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Believed to have originated from a character in the epic Greek poem The Odyssey, the term “mentor” is generally understood as an “advisor.” A quick Google search also surfaces the phrases models positive behavior, and builds trust as well as the terms: teacher; confidante; counsel; sponsor. The anthropologist in me would cry if I did not express that this is also how we might, perhaps, define the term community. At the crux of it, humans need one another and this has always been and –fighting the rise of Western neoliberalism– will always be the case.

Take a walk with me. The names “Nariokotome boy” and “Java Boy” may resonate with you very little or perhaps not at all. These are famous remains of ancient humans, more specifically Homo Ergaster (in Kenya) and Homo Erectus (in Georgia) respectively – dating back to approximately 1.6 million years ago. The significance of these individuals is that due to evidence of healed wounds, they represent the earliest indication of humans caring for their sick. Throughout this evolutionary stage, humans developed culture as an adaptive strategy; groups began to care for their sick and bury their dead, ensuring as many people live to reproduce as possible. Gradually, community meant more than just commensality. 1.6 million years ago, community meant survival. And it still does. 

Evolution continued, as evolution does, through homo heidelbergensis, homo neanderthalensis, and finally, homo sapiens. We learned from the successes and failures of others, each group adapting their culture and societal systems to fit the surrounding environment and circumstances. Today we see community displayed in a diverse range of social group configurations and systems of kinship around the world. 

This sense of community is not just laid out spatially, geographically, but also temporally. Sir Isaac Newton famously wrote, “If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.” He intended to acknowledge the talented scholars who came before him but, perhaps inadvertently, struck a chord with something deeper. Newton had depended on another human just as Java Boy had, 1.6 million years earlier. The human race boasts such fantastic diversity, but one fundamental element we all have in common is each other. We are built to depend on, learn from, grow with, teach, counsel, sponsor other people, just as we would have them to us. If a mentor is someone we are to learn from, based on their own behavior, don’t question who is a mentor to you. Look around you and ask who –in one way or another– isn’t a mentor to you.

They (the Instagram wellness community) say you become like the five people you spend the most time around. Well, –and no offense to my roommates, boss or local barista– in my case this is not ideal. In my opinion this is also fundamentally not true. Breathe a sigh of relief and feel free to stop hanging around at the gym, you don’t need to refine the spaces you are in, or scour Facebook marketplace for new friends. You are not defined by your physical five, but rather the decisions you make about what you consume and produce, influenced by your mentorship community. Looking beyond my postcode area, where I work as a barista there are several hundred customers, 70 thousand students at my school and 30 million users on Tiktok – so don’t tell me I am going to become my roommates because I walk in on them in the washroom and occasionally steal their bread. In the most human way possible, we all have 7.7 billion mentors, each for us to learn from their successes or failures. Humanity’s greatest gift is itself, and just as 1.6 million years ago we began to carry our sick, trust that your community will carry you. You only have to ask.

 

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Leave your thoughts for Heidi in the comments below — better yet, start up a dialogue with the Low Entropy community in person at a Conscious Connections meeting or online at our community site. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and YouTube to stay up-to-date with Low Entropy news!

 

The Benefits of Emotional Support Animals When Going Through Addiction and Mental Health Recovery

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Continue reading “The Benefits of Emotional Support Animals When Going Through Addiction and Mental Health Recovery”

A Journey to Recovery

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Cristina Crescenzo (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

When you search up how to define recovery, the first thing to pop up is the following definition: it is “a return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength.” At first glance, this seems like a perfectly acceptable definition but if you sit and think about it, it offers up a vague answer to something that is actually quite complicated. In my opinion, recovery can mean a lot of different things to many different people and situations. I think it is unfair to put the word “normal” within the definition because firstly, I don’t believe there is such a thing as normal in this world and secondly, I think it puts high expectations on something that is very difficult and that pressure can cause harm. 

 

I can’t speak for others because everyone has their own way of working on and defining their recovery but in my case, if I were to say what my recovery looks like for me, I would describe it as a nonlinear journey. To me, there is no straightforward path to the top of the mountain, it’s jagged and bumpy with many routes. I also think that it’s the most realistic way of looking at life. I have learned overtime that we all want some clear idea of where we are headed: there is security and comfort in that and I have felt that urge to have all the answers many times. However, there is also something comforting in giving up control and letting the wind direct you where it wants. 

 

I am not saying that this method is meant for everyone. Some people strive in structured environments and they feel anxious without it but personally, I think you should always explore different alternatives and find the one that works best for you. I may not have had to recover from alcohol or drug abuse, but I have been in a fight within my own mind for years trying to reclaim control while also searching for happiness and meaning in my life. I have noticed that I can fixate so hard on one little slip up that it can completely erase all the progress I made the previous day. I have to allow myself room for errors so when I do fall, I am more prepared the next time so it doesn’t feel like the world crashed alongside me. I also think it would be beneficial if individuals who aren’t struggling or recovering from something took a minute and accepted the fact that even if it is hard to watch your loved one recover, they aren’t going to be fine overnight. Recovery takes time and a lot of wounded souls can feel like Humpty Dumpty who falls off the wall just waiting for someone to put them back together and I think even though that support is helpful and may seem easier. I think we need to remember that we are able to help ourselves, even if we just don’t believe it yet. 

 

In conclusion, just remember to be patient with yourself and the things life puts in your path and even though it sucks sometimes, it does make you a stronger and better person. I truly believe that. However, if my words lack gravity with the masses, take a moment to listen to “The Climb” by Miley Cyrus and keep these lyrics in your heart as a sort of mantra: 

“[t]here’s always going to be another mountain, I’m always going to want to make it move, always going to be an uphill battle, sometimes I’m going to have to lose, it isn’t about how fast I get there, it isn’t about what’s waiting on the other side, it’s the climb.” 

 

At the end of the day, when you do finally feel like you have reached a place of healing and can live a good life you will be able to look back at the person you once were and appreciate the journey. 

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My name is Cristina Crescenzo and I am a university student who has a passion for writing. I hope that through my blog posts people can connect with me and learn something. I also want to bring constant awareness to mental health and the disabled community and I believe I can do that best at Low Entropy.

Relapse, Don’t Give Up

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Ugochi Guchy Kalu (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Tragedies of life are almost unavoidable no matter the route you take. Some-way, some-how like poison ivy, it attaches to your skin, makes you uncomfortable, phases you out, beats you down, knocks you off. In all of these theatrics, you could fall many times, stumble, stagger, give up, relapse, get better, move on, relapse again, throw in the towel or build resilience for real. The unending cycle and nightmare just seems to double more than the 360 degree route of emotions anyone could possibly attain. The question remains, which route is easier when pursuing stability? Relapse countless times or simply accept defeat and end it all? 

“I am giving it all up, I gave it my all and can’t seem to get any better, I am tired of giving everyone around me reasons to be concerned, I no longer want to be the complainant, drama queen and attention seeker in my family and among my friends, I am going to my peaceful place and hope everyone gets their peace too. Sorry for all the pain I caused, I really really tried.” These were the exact notes Benita Ima-Abasi left as she ended her life. We were all livid and numbed after her body was discovered by her neighbor. Ima, as we all fondly called her, had been our friend for about 5 years, she was the most cheerful and tender spirited in the group. I was in total shock for days as I had seen her two days earlier.

A few months preceding her death, Ima had lost her job at the nations monument bank barely six months after being promoted to the managerial level. She would often complain to us about the challenges of being a female boss and how she had to work twice as hard to command respect. After three months, she assured us of “totally killing it” followed by the news of her demotion and ultimate termination for an event she described as a “setup”. We all encouraged her, checked in on her, helped update her resume and sent new opportunities her way. She was doing better every day, she brightened up, although there were days she cried hard and sulked. In the end, we all assumed it was her process and believed she would get up and move on,  who knew that she was sinking deeper and deeper into the dark side until she was enveloped by the hands of chronic depression. 

In the evening that I saw her last, I had asked, “Ima, how are you doing for real?” She gave the generic answer we all give to such a question, “I am fine my dear.” Before she could go any further, I was distracted by the sight of the neighborhood clown who liked her. We all began to laugh and jumped from one story to the other. When the news of her death was shared, I wasn’t sure if it was the lie she gave me as an answer or the fact that I didn’t care enough to get the real answer that killed her.  The lies we tell!

Sometimes, when you are very close to someone, you are usually the last to know about their demons. The masks we wear as smiles, the lies we tell to make ourselves believe are often the reason for our unhappiness and ultimate doom. Relapse is a normal recovery process and not the failure of it. Very often there are many stages people struggling with recovery go through before they can finally heal, be it emotional, mental or physical. The hardest part is accepting that the actions we struggle with are addictive and harmful to us. Alcoholism, sex addictions, shopping addictions, drug abuse, chronic depression are all examples of daily struggles we try to overcome time and time again. 

I have encountered many people with different addictions who wished to get better, who relapsed frequently and those who could not win their battles and accepted defeat They all had similar reasons for their state of mind which in no particular order included; Societal influence and judgements against those suffering from addiction and mental illness, lack of a close support system, financial incapacitation, high cost of treatment and rehabilitation homes, scarcity of safe spaces to share and unburden their minds.

In my awakening, it was clear that I too had failed as a friend, confidant and shoulder to cry on too many times, just like many of us have failed to acknowledge our roles in human relationships. We have often asked others how they are doing without really listening intently to those answers, we have often blocked out people’s feelings because we are saving ourselves from being desensitized. We have called people’s emotions ‘weak’ because we failed to acknowledge the disparity distribution of courage and pain threshold. We have advised people to “snap out of it” without empowering them with the right tools and environment. We have judged, harshly dismissed and meted out unfair treatments, we have stigmatized mental health to the point that no one would accept help from us. We have become the biggest nightmares to ourselves that accepting defeat has been the best solution to most challenged people. In order to help our family and friends through their struggles, it is important that we enlighten ourselves on cognitive therapy interventions and reframe how relapse is viewed and work towards changing the views of those who need them. 

My biggest resolution of not letting anyone around me feel defeat, hit rock bottom or at least face them alone have often been countered by situations beyond my control. However, I keep trying my best to be a better friend, to listen more, to be available and present, to be supportive, to be more understanding, to be open minded, to learn, to reach out, to fall and rise, to offer hope, to be the hope, to accept help and to give the same, to love unconditionally and without reservation, to go the entire nineyards without looking back at my fears, to conquer, to celebrate and be celebrated, to take pride in my little accomplishments, to appreciate myself and others. To give hugs and let myself be wrapped up in warmth. To give kisses and accept them as they come. To have, to hold, to cherish and most of all, to accept that life is worth living. To embrace relapse and reject defeat. To live each day with contentment. To hope against hope that everything will be alright, to imagine that the odds would forever be in my favor.

My name is Ugochi Guchy Kalu, I have laughed the loudest, cried the hardest. I have been thrown down and stomped on, but also  received love more than my heart can contain.  I never gave up, I stood up in hope and found my center. I hope you can too!

 

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My name is Ugochi Guchy Kalu, I have lived in a bubble and also experienced real life hurt. I pulled through the toughest times through acceptance and a positive outlook. Stay positive, pals!

Ending the Stigma Surrounding Mental Health

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Cassandra Di Lalla, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Mental health as a whole is one of those things where uncertainty is okay because mental health is a non-linear element in life and it can go in any direction, not based on wants or needs, but based on situations, feelings, events and unfortunately tragedies.

 

Mental health knows no boundaries and mental health does not discriminate. The wellness of our minds is sometimes, though more often than not, completely out of our control. We might give anything a go just because we are so desperate to keep ourselves mentally well, but unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way because some mental illnesses feel like big bullies and are always finding ways and reasons to attack us when we’re already feeling low. 

 

Sadly, mental health is often frowned upon, still…to this day, and we’re almost in 2023. For those who struggle with such issues, it is so complex and not just “sadness” or “anger” creeping up on us but much more than that and a lot harder to endure. We go through so many challenges in life wondering why whoever is above us is testing us like this. 

 

When people do not take the time to educate themselves or those who do not wish to learn about the constant struggles relating to mental health, it really makes us feel as though we’re total outcasts. Groups that struggle with their mental health are already marginalized enough because there are so many people in the world that turn the other way when mental health is involved or if a person with a disability is thrown into the mix (and yes, mental health does fall into that category).

 

The world’s views on mental health are completely upside down, so, I guess you can say that the world’s views are still “under construction”. 

 

Have you ever heard of people saying that we’re attention seekers, we’re manipulative, we’re psycho, we’re delusional, etc.? Yes, so have I…on several occasions. And you know what? That’s not okay. What IS okay is to not feel okay all the time. That’s perfectly normal…for any human being on the face of this earth.

 

Here are a few ways in which you can help myself and our marginalized community:

  • Accept us for the good, the bad, and the ugly (oh, and sometimes the unknown)

Yes, that statement sounds like something that would typically be in a wedding vow and that’s okay but, mental health as a whole often takes you for a ride. They’re not always joyrides and sometimes these rides will first require an entrance or admission fee to the amusement park (equivalent to accepting the fact that you’ve been diagnosed with a mental illness) followed by waiting in line for a ride (which is having to find professional help such as a therapist) and then once you’re on the ride, there are bumps, twists and turns, it’s shaky and it throws you in the air making you feel like the ride will fall off the tracks (and that’s the stage where you are having to deal with all of these emotions and feelings…the most challenging part of mental illness).

  • Educate yourselves and practice patience

Imagine how we feel dealing with this everyday. Now, if you’re having a hard time understanding something or you’re unsure about a term used – please educate yourselves, ask questions, show compassion. Please have patience when it comes to learning and have patience with us as we try our hardest to navigate and explain our struggles freely though at times we find it easier to have things left unsaid or other times we wish that things were just left unread. There are moments when we feel as though it is less complicated if others didn’t know; however, we understand that our actions or our way of thinking would probably make much more sense if we took the time to share our story because then people would also truly see why we behave a certain way or why sometimes our bad days seem everlasting and our good days are so minimal. Patience should undeniably be a two-way street in this instance.

  • Don’t fight us, tell us to calm down, or say things like “Get over it”

We are not trying to be hostile. We are not trying to instill fear in you. We are not trying to inflict emotional damage on you by unknowingly playing the guessing game. We are up and down with our emotions. We are unsure and sometimes uncomfortable. If we become agitated, angry, sad, scared, or anything in between – please do not fight us and tell us that it’s all in our head, that we need to calm down, and that we’ll “get over it”. Try the following instead: “We’ll be okay. We’ll figure things out. We’ll talk about it if and when you feel comfortable. We’ll explore healing. We’ll find our zen.” By using a positive and non-invasive approach, you are reassuring the individual that they’re in a safe and non-judgemental environment where they can seek help if they decide that’s the next step they want and need to take. Remember, it already takes heaps of courage for us to confront our demons and to accept the fact that these demons made an unwelcome visit because they’re confident that we’re the perfect person to fall victim to their wrongdoings. They knock at our doors at ungodly hours of the day, entering our life for a surprise stay…a couple hours, some days, a few months…my gosh, they’ve even extended their stay for as long as they feel suitable or until they find their new scapegoat.

  • Be an advocate, spread awareness, fundraise/campaign

I mean, we’re just stating the obvious. But, you’d be surprised at how little mental health is actually talked about in this day and age – how nobody really wants to shed light on the wellness of your mind. Many workplaces still have the audacity to raise an eyebrow when we ask for a day off as a result of mental health. It’s quite sickening that having a single day to rest and recuperate psychologically is a problem to most employers/businesses. I’m not only tired but I am exhausted and sometimes I just don’t have the strength, willpower, or interest to wake up the next day and just be…just live. We have every right as an employee and as a human being to take a break. The need for “me” time and self-care. We have the right to put our health first. We have the right to be accommodated. We have the right to feel lost in our thoughts and feelings, and we definitely have the right to be heard on a universal level. So, SPEAK LOUDER and don’t ever be afraid to OPEN UP. Employers do not have the right to brush you under the rug or terminate you due to mental illness. Other human beings do not have the right to judge you based on your struggles. 

 

You can be our voice if we sometimes fall short of our own expectations (or society’s expectations for that matter) and you can also be our voice when we feel we have no voice left from the constant rejection or redirection from others. You can be the support system that lacks in some places whether that be a corporate office, a retail store, an uncomfortable setting, etc. You can post/share mental health initiatives or even fundraise. There’s always a way to help even if you are only one person, because that’s one more lifeline than what we had before…one more person who can save a life, and one more person who can end the stigma. We can’t reverse the stigma or go back in time but we can lend our ears to listen, offer a shoulder to cry on, be static when our emotions are dynamic, and be the calm after the storm. 

 

Honestly, the list of ways to help is exhaustive. There’s always a way for people to be a place of comfort for those struggling with their mental health. I am human and I am your equal. Nothing more, nothing less. Please be kind and don’t take for granted another beating heart. By saving them, you may have also been saved.

 

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Cassandra Di Lalla lives life purposefully. She enjoys reading, writing and mental health initiatives. She’s an animal lover for life and an innovative individual always finding new ways to create.

Inspiring Hope in Recovery

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Elizaveta Garifullina, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Can we influence the recovery process? Undoubtedly, we can. Our faith and our thoughts can worsen our health or improve it.

 

Many diseases can appear because of our psychosomatics. Many people believe that diseases are a factor in us doing something wrong. It may seem complicated, but the great thing is that we can also positively impact our health. If we have strong faith in our recovery, we can accelerate the process of healing. 

 

Just imagine one person constantly saying that he will never be rich in his life, and the second person is sure that his fortune will be abundant and he will build his own profitable business. Who will be more successful? The answer comes to mind almost immediately, of course, the second person, because the first one sabotages his success. 

 

It is the same with health. Two people may have the same health condition. They are given the same medications; they follow the same routine. But the first person is sure that his health is too bad and he will not recover, and the second not only believes and hopes but also knows that he will recover. This person has decided that he will recover; he has no doubts or anxiety. Anxiety will only worsen your health; it never helps anything.

 

I want to give an example of the story “The Last Leaf” by the excellent writer William Sydney Porter, known to the world under the pseudonym O. Henry. Two girls settled in an apartment, organizing a tiny painting studio there. One of the girls is seriously ill; she was diagnosed with pneumonia. The doctor fears for the girl’s life as Jonesy prepares to die. She decided that as soon as the last leaf fell from the ivy outside the window, the final minute of her life would come.

 

A strong wind with rain and snow rages outside all night, mercilessly tearing the leaves from the old ivy, which means that the girl does not have long to live. When Jonesy asks her friend to open the curtains in the morning, she sees that a yellow-green leaf is still holding on to the ivy stalk. And on the second and the third day, it still holds on and does not want to fly away.

 

Then Jonesy finds hope, believing it is too early for her to die because such a small leaf was kept there, despite the strong wind. So she can handle it. The doctor then tells the girl that the disease has receded and Jonesy’s health was on the mend. Only later do we find out that this leaf was painted by an old artist who sacrificed his life and went out at night in such weather to save the girl by painting his masterpiece. 

 

Sometimes all the pills in the world are powerless if a person is sure that the disease is more potent than him. But if a person has hope and faith, medicines will be a thousand times more effective. 

 

Faith, confidence, and calmness are reflected in our brain activity, which leads to a healthy mind and, as a result, a healthy body. A healthy brain performs many critical mental functions simultaneously, producing a large number of waves of brain activity of different frequencies reflecting these functions.

 

With today’s stressful lifestyle, we often show increased beta activity. Many are looking for ways to produce alpha waves – peaceful existence and relaxation to overcome this negativity. When we raise our alpha and theta (including mu) activity through constructive processes – meditations, exercises, through audio-visual stimulation, we achieve changes in the state of consciousness or “alpha activity.” We must learn how to produce alpha waves on a daily basis through meditation or other tools.

 

When the frequency of brain waves slows down, we plunge into the depths of the subconscious. The higher the frequency of brain waves, the more active the consciousness and the more attention we pay to the outside world, which is not always a good thing.

 

Remember that our mind can be a cure.

 

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Leave your thoughts for Elizaveta in the comments below — better yet, start up a dialogue with the Low Entropy community in person at a Conscious Connections meeting or online at our community site. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and YouTube to stay up-to-date with Low Entropy news!

Recovery; Taking the First Step

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Eri Ikezawa (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

In an ideal world, an imaginary paradise, at its heart quixotic and utopian, we would lie on a bed of immaculate roses with the thorns shorn off—surrounded only by the rich floral perfume and soft petals on our skin. No misfortunes or heartaches, living in blissful and undisturbed contentment. 

 

Unfortunately, the real world is not like that.

 

Every day, people face a series of adversities, and depending on what else is going on in their lives, it can be a true test of character. When one is already burdened with their old tribulations, it’s not easy for them to react with grace and poise, especially when already being pushed to their limits.  

 

I think, first and most importantly, to recover from adversity one must start off by really contemplating the complicated emotions surrounding whatever is ailing them. Whether it is career dissatisfaction, relationship failures, or the passing of a loved one, I truly believe introspection is where we must start our healing process. 

 

Throughout my life, I have always been grateful for having an instinctual knowledge of why exactly I feel a certain way about any issue that I struggle with—or, if I began with unawareness, I would gradually begin to understand how and why I felt that way. 

 

In that same vein, the moments where I had felt clouded or discombobulated were the ones that I had felt most despondent about. 

 

Now, if I were to articulate why that is, I would say without the conscious awareness of how I am feeling, it can feel nearly impossible to form a solution to the problem. For example, after being in a car accident in 2018 where I experienced long-term physical repercussions, forcing me to work significantly less hours and preventing me from enjoying regular extracurriculars, for a long time afterwards, I felt lost, isolated and melancholic. 

 

But since those emotions were closer to a simmer than a boil, I never heard the bubbles nor did I feel the steam—it was a seemingly innocuous pot sitting on the stove, silent and stoic. 

 

So, in this specific instance of recovery (from the aforementioned car accident), I spent months feeling like there was a dark cloud hanging over my head. I began to feel old sentiments of inferiority and inadequacy resurfacing, emotions I thought I had gotten a better handle over, which led me to feeling incredibly frustrated and angry. Not only did I feel as though I had lost control over the wheel of my life, but I also just didn’t feel like myself pre-accident anymore. 

 

And worse yet, I spent these months watching my peers walking further and further away from me—catastrophizing to the point where I believed they were mere specks off in the vast distance, sneering smugly at me for being an unaccomplished loser. All I could think about was how they were furthering their career aspirations and participating in activities that made them happy and, in those moments, it was hard to be happy for them because I was so miserable. This in turn made me feel worse because I normally pride myself on being a present and good friend to people. I didn’t recognize this version of myself, with concealed jealousy and spitefulness, and I loathed it—and myself for feeling this way.

 

So, this cycle of dejection continued, much like a grotesque ferris wheel I’d involuntarily been forced onto, watching in despair each time I passed the exit stairs, destined to go for another miserable round on the nightmarish ride. 

 

It was only when I finally realized and recognized that I wasn’t feeling functional anymore that I was able to begin the healing process. 

 

I was fed up with feeling distant from my friends because I was blatantly jealous of how they were progressing in their lives and how mine had stagnated—purely due an incident that was not even of my own doing! I was sick of making unhealthy physical decisions due to what I now realize was a lapse into depression—whether it was drinking more frequently than I had in the past, or not seeking physical therapy despite my injuries, or sleeping too little or too much. 

 

And quite frankly, I was just tired of feeling depressed. 

 

It wasn’t easy to finally articulate what the lingering melancholy had been, but once I did, for the first time in a while, I saw a bashful little ray of sun sneakily edge its way past the clouds surrounding me to greet me in what felt like ages. 

 

The next step after recognizing what is troubling you, I believe, is to bring awareness to your support system so they can act like scaffolding while you work to reconstruct yourself back to a functional state again. 

 

Once I told my family and friends about how I’d been feeling, it was easier with their open acceptance and encouragement to seek treatment. I felt my spirit being rejuvenated by the overwhelming love and support I’d received, and I used that inspiration to move me into action. 

 

After all this, I also think it’s vital to remember that healing is neither linear nor instantaneous. Life would certainly be much easier and much more pleasant if we could easy bake our way to healing and recovery, but unfortunately, that isn’t how the cookie crumbles. 

 

It takes commitment and determination, actively making sound decisions that will eliminate wellsprings of unproductive distractions. It is so easy to let days lapse into weeks into months when we are feeling defeated from whatever adversity that we face, but it is infinitely more worth it to steamroll over our hardships, flattening them into slabs we use to pave our path moving forwards. 

 

At the end of the day, it is ultimately up to us as individuals to make the difficult choices to create a mental environment conducive for recovery. I truly subscribe to the belief that we must first acknowledge what the problem is ourselves before we can seek out other resources to assist us because if we don’t know what the problem is—or that there is a problem—then how will people know how to soundly advise us? Once we have a better understanding of ourselves, then the steps of healing and recovery—however difficult it may be—will slowly fall into place. 

 

—

 

My name is Eri Ikezawa and I have an extended minor in psychology and a major in linguistics. I’m still on the path to quelling questions about myself and the direction I want to head in, but in the meantime, I have always wanted to find a way to help others and contribute to a community dedicated to personal development and self-love.