Top Five Self-Help Strategies for Better Mental Health

Diny Davis (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

“There is a hope, even when your brain tells you there isn’t.’’- John Green

What is Mental Health ?

Mental health, fundamentally, refers to our psychological, emotional and social well-being. It influences how we think, feel and act. Moreover, it also contributes to how we handle stress, relate to others and make life’s choices. Mental health is essential at every stage of life, from childhood to adolescence and through adulthood. While mental illnesses are common, the subject is often misunderstood. 

Understanding the Basic Needs of the Mind

A balanced life calls for giving requisite care and attention to our mental health, just like our physical selves. Understanding our mind involves knowing the different factors influencing our mental health. These could include biological factors like brain chemistry and genes, or life experiences, such as trauma or abuse. Recognizing indicative signs like undue worry, feeling excessively low or drastic changes in eating habits can be crucial in promptly addressing mental health issues.

  • Embracing Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness is all about living in the present moment, acknowledging the thoughts, feelings, sensations and environment around us at any given moment. Embracing mindfulness can enhance your mental well-being as it allows you to appreciate life as it unfolds, reduces stress and can stop you from becoming overwhelmed.

Bringing mindfulness into your everyday life could be as simple as focusing on your breathing or giving complete attention to the act you’re involved in, be it making your morning coffee or driving to work, or even setting aside a dedicated mindfulness practice like meditating.

Meditation comes in many forms, with a common goal to calm the mind and induce a state of relaxation, promoted by focusing the mind and eliminating scattered thoughts. Techniques like breathing exercises, yoga, guided imagery or simply sitting quietly can significantly contribute to enhancing mental health.

  • Cultivating Healthy Lifestyle Habits

A healthy lifestyle goes a long way towards maintaining good mental health. Eating nutritious meals, getting regular exercise and ensuring a sound sleep are really important aspects in building up mental well-being.

A well-balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, lean protein and whole grains can positively influence brain health. Regular physical activity helps with better sleep and reduces stress. Additionally, getting quality sleep each night can improve mental health as our brain uses this rest time for vital tasks like memory consolidation and cleansing toxins. Establishing a regular sleep schedule and maintaining a sleep-supporting environment can significantly influence your mental well-being.

  • Building Positive Relationships and Social Connections

We are social creatures by instinct, and that affects our mental health too. Surrounding ourselves with positive relationships and nurturing them actively contributes to increased feelings of well-being and decreased feelings of depression. Having people in your surroundings who have a positive vibe or energy can then have a positive effect on your mental health.

Identifying relationships that drain you or cause undue stress is essential, as they can undermine overall mental health. Cultivate a circle around you where you feel loved, cared for, validated and respected for who you are and the way you are.

  • Learning Stress Management Techniques

Stress is an inevitable part of life, but it doesn’t necessarily have to take a toll on your mental health. Recognizing stress triggers, taking steps to reduce stress and learning to get your stress under control can go a long way in protecting mental health.

Techniques such as deep breathing, yoga, workouts ,meditation, full-body stretching, or other mechanisms like listening to music or taking on a hobby can contribute significantly to stress management. Incorporating these into the daily routine can protect one’s mental health over time.

  • Seeking Professional Help when Needed

There is no shame in reaching out for help when needed. If feelings of distress persist, or you have a continuous sense of detachment, seeking professional help can provide the necessary guidance and treatment to regain the balance of your mental health.

Several resources are available at the national, state and local levels, and these cover a wide range of treatment options, like if you want to get the treatment as an individual or as a family, and even group therapies are available. There are other treatments that are based on combinations of medications, too.

Synopsis 

Paying attention to your mental health is not a luxury, but a necessity. The strategies discussed here can help you to gain the power of mindful thinking, healthy lifestyle habits, positive social connections, stress management and professional assistance when needed. Your mental health needs to be taken care of by you, for you. You are the reason for your own happiness.                   

Diny Davis is an aspiring author who is passionate about fitness and a strong believer in the close connection between physical and mental health. She is a journalism, psychology and literature graduate, a loving wife, and a caring mother who maintains a balance in her work and personal life while giving emphasis to self-care.

Relationships and Growth

Lauren Long (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

I have not been romantically involved with anyone, so the relationship I am going to tell you about is a friendship I have had since I was nine. The friendship between this person and myself was complicated when we were kids and teenagers because we ran in different social circles. We had some good experiences and some that were not so good. It wasn’t until we reached our mid-to late 20s that our relationship changed. It took a lot of work and open communication to get our relationship to be where it is now.

Where our relationships with people we have known since we were kids are concerned, it has been my experience that we often do not find out things about them until much later. After my friend and I cleared the air and laid all the cards on the table from the past, our relationship shifted in a big way. Because we were making a genuine effort at being more open with each other, I found out that she was going through many of the same things that I had gone through as a kid. I found out that my bullies in our class, who were the people she hung out with, were also bullying her.

At the beginning, I felt a lot of guilt because I did not know she was going through the same things I was; I thought that because she was popular, she was protected from that. Hearing her experiences made me realize that whether you are popular or not makes no difference when it comes to bullying. We’ve talked about our shared experiences a lot, and that’s how we’ve strengthened our friendship while also having our perspectives changed.

Looking back on it now, I can see how self-absorbed I was back then. I was so wrapped up in what was going on in my own life I was blind to the fact that other people were going through the same things I was. The bullying, the constant pressure to be someone I wasn’t, it never crossed my mind that there were other people going through that too, including my friend. 

Lady Gaga said in her Netflix documentary Five Foot Two, “I can bring my past with me, but I can never go back.” Well, I think that can be said for all of us. We always ask ourselves, “what if?” “What if I could go back in time and change this moment?” “What if I actually stood up for myself?” Throughout my many talks with my friend about our shared past experiences, I’ve often asked myself the question, “What would have happened if I had known this about her then? Would the outcome have been the same? Or would it have been something entirely different?” 

This is a conversation I’ve often had with my counsellor, about what I would do differently if I could go back and change certain things, but maybe my friend and I were meant to have these conversations later on in life all along. When you’re a pre-teen and a teenager, you don’t have the same emotional maturity that you have when you’re an adult in your late 20s, early 30s.

These conversations with my friend made me realize what I would not have been able to back when we were kids: just because someone hangs around with the pretty girls who always get the good-looking boys in the class doesn’t mean that they’re safe from the cruelty these girls show to those outside their social group. If anything, they can be the daily recipients of it.

Every relationship that we have in our lives impacts us in some way. It can be positive, negative, or a mix of the two. I’ve learned that people who first came into our lives as children can come back into them later as adults, and that occurs for a reason. Sometimes it’s to teach us something, other times it’s because fate or destiny, whatever you want to call it, can see that we need these people in our lives long before we can. 

I think the reason this friend came back into my life was because we needed to have the relationship we do now, but we both had to put in the work to get there. But also, I needed to learn that things are not as they appear on the surface. That beneath the two little girls who were doing what they needed to in order to survive the long school years, we were both hurt and lonely, and what we really needed was someone who could say, “I see you and you’re not alone.”

That’s something we all need. We all need someone to see us as we truly are, and we also need to learn not to judge before we know the full story, because once we do, everything changes. 

Born and raised in Quesnel, BC, Lauren Long is a strong advocate for mental health and overall well-being, as well as being a major Swiftie and a role model for positive body image. When she’s not writing, you can find her on the pole, on the training mats or curled up with a good book.

A Cerebral Experience

Cristina Crescenzo (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

Cerebral palsy, by its simplest definition, is a physical disability that is caused by abnormal brain development or damage to the brain that affects a person’s ability to control their muscles. The type of CP I have is called spastic diplegia, which means that both sides of my body are affected by it, but my legs most especially. However, moving on from the pathology, I would say the most challenging part of this disability, aside from the physical toll on the body, would be the emotional implications. I went to physiotherapy every Saturday for 18 years to improve my condition, but I never took the time to consider what the strain on my body would do to my mental health. One had to take precedence over the other, so when I was finally freer to consider my feelings, the damage to my self-confidence and worth had already progressed exponentially. Thus, my teen years were so brutal that I didn’t think I’d make it to graduation.

Unfortunately, as pessimistic as it sounds, the world has shown me most cruelly that there are limits to my abilities. I should clarify to some who don’t believe my experience that they are not all self-imposed restrictions. My whole life, I have wanted something better for myself, and I also had two able-bodied siblings that I constantly compared myself to. The thought “Why me?” crossed my mind several times a day, and the question still pops up today, only a little bit less. As hard as I try not to let it affect me, it feels as if my life has been defined by one word since birth: disabled. As a child, I never knew I was different, and I genuinely believed I could do anything. Granted, all I had time to think about when I was young was what kind of hairstyle I wanted to have for school. Never once did I wonder why I was happy in the first place. I never asked my mom why I had to wear leg braces or why I had to go to physiotherapy once a week; it was just the norm. 

However, now that I’m older, the last thing I want to do is wear my leg braces again and do my exercises, even if they would help ease the pain. It has become more difficult to deny my insecurities; I constantly fear that someone will say hurtful things or compare how I walk to an emotionless robot. I know that my mentality is a little pessimistic. I also know some people might say that I am just feeling sorry for myself and that I should try harder to persevere through every obstacle, but what I think most people forget is that there is a distinction between “going through” something different than most people in the population and actually “being made” different. Every experience I ever have in this will be more complex than someone who is able-bodied. That is a fact of life I cannot deny. But this is just my reality. So many other disabilities come with their own complications, so I am speaking for no one else’s experience but my own. 

Ultimately, all I can do is try my best and not let society dismiss my feelings and my story because it is valid, even though it can sometimes be maudlin. I don’t want to define myself by this, but it is a part of who I am, so I have to find a way to leave a positive mark on the world as a disabled woman, and that is why I try to advocate for disability awareness and our rights through my writing as much as I can. Therefore, I have learned that though things can seem bleak, there is still time to turn your greatest weakness into your greatest strength.

My name is Cristina Crescenzo and I am an aspiring writer with something to say as I try to figure things out. More than anything, I want to be able to connect with people through my writing, and I want to be a constant advocate of disability and mental health awareness.

Mindless Obedience: The Automatic Response in Behaviour

Glory Li (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Once my friend passionately chanted about the fashion and creativity of wearing mismatched socks. In response, I nodded to make her happy. Without even considering if I agreed with my friend’s opinion of a “groundbreaking trend,” the next day, it felt like my hands were listening to someone else as I mixed and flaunted one pink and one black sock on each foot. But seriously, thinking about it now, I’m not a fan of this idea. Sometimes, it isn’t a person’s eloquence that persuades us into believing the opposite end of the spectrum. Many compliance and consents are merely based on our fixed action pattern, which means exposure to certain triggers caused us to respond automatically while directly skipping the step of analyzing the presentation.

 

“Fixed action pattern” just means the triggers carved a mental shortcut so we can employ a simplified version of judgment dealing with many daily situations. These natural inclinations are called judgmental heuristics. Frequently, triggers that activate fixed behaviour patterns are specific features and parts of the rivalry that impact us more than other parts, causing involuntary actions and stereotypic decisions. For instance, the most classic heuristic that can be exhibited is the idea that “expensive = good.” Research shows that people who are uncertain about an object’s quality often resort to this streamline because human reaction evolves through the time when an item’s price truly reflects its value, so an increasing price is proportional to an improved quality. 

 

In the complicated modern days, there are profiteers who understand and use our mechanistic, unthinking manners to their own benefit. Our innate vulnerability makes us easy targets to buy low quality stuff with unreasonably high prices from unscrupulous businesses. Despite the fact that we may be very aware and take precautions to avoid those products with low quality but hefty prices, sometimes, other nefarious methods are used to raise an item’s price: for example, imagine a time when sales clerks deliberately doubled the price of an accessory by 50 percent and placed all the pretty, amethyst bracelets counterfeits on the central table to better exaggerate their rarity and purity. We are convinced by this tactic because there’s no way for us to determine the actual worthiness of the stone (unless connoisseurs are visiting the store), nor to compare if the item is outrageously expensive or not without constantly going to the same place. The only information we see for sure, or the two apparent triggers within the big picture of marketing tactics, is the good value and the sale’s emphasis on the bracelets, so unconsciously, our heuristics associate the two aspects and conclude that they must be of good quality.

 

It has been proven that fixed patterns of behaviour exist everywhere in a hierarchical pyramid, ranging from animals to humans. For instance, turkeys have gained a reputation for being caring, sweet mothers to newborn chicks; however, the maternal care comes at a condition, that of the healthy baby chicks producing the “click, click” sound. Otherwise, babies who can’t make this identical sound can be ignored, starved, and even consumed by the mother. In one experiment, researchers installed a voice recorder on a polecat — the primary predator of baby chicks that mutually loathe each other — and the recorder started emitting the click sounds. Even though the turkey knew polecats were enemies, she still accepted it under her wings and showed a decent amount of loving care. Although the turkey mother was fully aware the polecat didn’t resemble her offspring, her ingrained heuristics were so used to connecting that sound with the need of her chicks that she couldn’t resist the intuitive response. It wasn’t to show mother turkeys lack intelligence by falling into the man-made trap of protecting her predators; instead, both animals and humans displayed similar behaviours of this situational processing.  

 

In an experiment, social psychologist Ellen Langer conducted a social study that revealed that if we ask someone for help, the chance of success increases by providing a reason behind the request. A person asked a small favour to move to the front of a long queue waiting to use the Xerox machine; in the first trial, he said, “Excuse me, I have five pages, may I use the Xerox machine because I’m in a rush?” About 94% of the people complied. For the second trial, he provided no explanation of his actions and said, “Excuse me, I have five pages, may I use the Xerox machine?” Only 60% let him move forward. During the third trial, the explanation only repeated the appeal which doesn’t really justify the compliance, “Excuse me, I have five pages, may I use the Xerox machine because I have to make five copies?” In return, 93% agreed, which is basically the same probability compared to having a valid rationale. Thus, whether we realize it or not, it’s the insignificant word “because” that triggered us to feel the concurring urge even with the reason essentially nonsense.                           

 

It’s not just our insufficient life experience or our deliberate decision not to analyze the present situation: we have to realize the fixed action pattern in our brain is twisting the perspective on each circumstance so it’s much easier to decide our action among thousands of options. Most of the heuristics were and are still passed down generations because they have provided accurate simplifications similar to common sense or proverbs, which generally guide us to the right path. Even the current era exploited these proclivities for personal gains, it doesn’t render all the heuristics unreliable. Fixed action patterns save our minds from exploding to process a world of information and temptations, but it also shed light on why we ended up buying a pair of fake Nike shoes.

 

Works Cited 

 

[1]Nickerson, Charlotte. “Fixed Action Pattern: Definition and Examples.” Simply Psychology, 29 Sept. 2023, www.simplypsychology.org/fixed-action-pattern.html.

[2]MSEd, Kendra Cherry. “What Are Heuristics?” Verywell Mind, 8 Nov. 2022, www.verywellmind.com/what-is -a-heuristic-2795235.

[3]Wondra, Chris. How to Influence People With Persuasive Triggers | We Teach We Learn, www.weteach welearn.org/2012/12/how-to-influence-people-with-persuasive-triggers.

[4]Porter, Jeremy. “The Power of ‘Because.’” Jeremy Porter, 7 July 2014, www.jrmyprtr.com/power-of- because /#:~:text=The%20Xerox%20Study,I%20use%20the%20Xerox%20machine%3F%E2%80%9D.

[5]Cialdini, Robert B. Influence, New and Expanded. HarperCollins, 2021.

 

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The Hands of Those Who Trust Me

Nasly Roa Noriega (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

Loving what you do is the best attitude. Smiling at tiredness and lending a hand to those who need it is the best food for the soul. For my two little angels who are now taking care of me: my grandmother Gilma and my mother-in-law Amelia.

Caring is an act of dedication. It is synonymous with love and responsibility.  It is an important mission in a person’s life, regardless of the condition to which they have to dedicate their life.

Sometimes I think that we are a kind of protective being, because since childhood we are taught to take care of what we have or what we receive, to value things no matter how small they are.

Over time the word “care” takes a little more responsibility, and when we are parents that degree of responsibility becomes greater, since we must not only take care of ourselves, but also someone else who demands our attention. Although fatigue can break our strength, we will never stop caring, because as parents it is our life mission.

For me, caregiving is a beautiful mission: it is giving, without measure, a big part of your life to watch over someone’s every step. It is an unimaginable routine that for some is exhausting, but for others, as in my case, is a great job.

Taking care of someone, be they a child, parent, grandparent, partner or any other person, demands a lot from each one of us. It tends to exhaust us many times over, it tends to take away our appetite when they get sick and we do not know what to do. But we are there for them, exceeding our free time and our hours of rest, because no matter how many hours we dedicate, it will always be a great challenge, a job and a commitment that has rewards in many emotional aspects.

I have dedicated my life to care; to watch over the welfare of others; to smile every time fatigue embraces me tightly; to enjoy with emotion the first steps of my children, whom I still take care of in their adolescence;  to not let go of the hands of those who trust me; to enter into the silent gaze of those who have entered old age and only want a little company; to listen silently to the amazing stories of those with slow steps and ashen hair whom I have had to care for. Because caring should not be a prison, as some think. Perhaps they feel that they must enslave their life, their time and work to the care of someone.

When you care for someone, you must love what you do, and this should not be considered a prison, to be, day and night, watching their existence. You are not doing anything wrong. Maybe it feels that you have stagnated, that your priorities have moved to a secondary priority, where you have to accommodate your responsibility and your friendships have drifted away, or in the worst case, where you feel that loneliness is your greatest company. But it is not so. Destiny and time will show you what to do and how to do it, especially when you start to love what you do and realize that you enjoy doing it, when you feel that time flies by so quickly that you do not even notice it. Everything is focused on loving, that is the key to not giving up.

It should be love and passion for what we do that makes us get up every morning to take care of ourselves and others. When we have to take someone by the hand, we should do it with such firmness that we transmit tranquility and security, every time we look into the eyes of someone we care for we should make them feel self-confident.

Let us avoid letting the feelings of frustration, tiredness and sadness be reflected in our faces and attitudes, because they can transmit to that people we care for, who, although seemingly silent, still with distant looks know the depths of our hearts. This can make them feel awkward, sad and overwhelmed by having to be cared for.

For nine years I watched my husband take care of his ailing mother with such dedication and devotion that I never heard a complaint and never saw his exhausted face. He was always there for her and for us, and she was always smiling and so full of life until her last day in our lives. He never felt imprisoned by her illness, never let go of her hand and never stopped loving her.

We are all born with a mission, with a destiny, with a duty. Not everyone is born with the gift of caring, but when you start this work, every day you learn to love what you do.

There are special people who need to be cared for, who need to be listened to, who need to laugh again, who need a hug or a firm hand to reassure them, and we must be there with the willingness and desire to do so.

Caring is the work of those brave-hearted people who decide to create in their lives an unbounded dedication to make the lives of others a special gift.

My name is Nasly Roa Noriega. I am a quiet person and I find peace of mind through silence. Every day of my life is a thanksgiving to God and every awakening is a day of celebration.

Finding Patience

Nathan Yan (he/him/his), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

If you’ve ever worked in fast food, retail or customer service, then you’ve encountered plenty of frustrating people. There are plenty of traits or actions that could make people frustrating to deal with. These people could be staunchly opposed to everything you say and act with a sense of self-righteousness as if they are right all the time, they could simply be ignorant to facts, or they could refuse to change obviously harmful habits and behaviours. Throughout one’s life, there will be plenty  of encounters with these frustrating situations or people, and a common response to these situations is to confront the person directly. However, this strategy is often ineffective, and only works to exacerbate the conflict. The more effective strategy is the inverse, which is to not engage and try to cultivate patience.

One way to cultivate patience is to try and keep an open mind. Only some frustrating people are trying to be frustrating. In the majority of cases, situations that are frustrating are the result of a misunderstanding. For example, an argument that you find particularly frustrating because the other person doesn’t acknowledge what you say could be the result of that person simply forgetting a previous point you made. If you view the frustrating person as malicious, you are more likely to perceive their behaviour as a direct attack against you. You would see annoying behaviour as an intentional attempt to make you upset, or you may interpret certain language as directly assaulting you. As a result, you may tend to become angry, which makes it much more difficult to stay patient and not escalate the confrontation.

Another way to make cultivating patience easier with a frustrating person is to not engage with a frustrating person while upset or annoyed. While in either of these states, you are more likely to lash out, make logical mistakes or misunderstand others. Not only will these issues make you feel worse later on, they will also exacerbate the argument or confrontation you may be having with the frustrating person. As an example, if your boss is being frustrating and forcing you into an obviously uncomfortable situation, even if you have a strong urge to complain, you shouldn’t. If you try to complain while annoyed, you might make a comment in the heat of the moment that could be seen as aggressive, such as implying your boss is dumb for making that decision. These criticisms should still be made, but they should be made when you are more clear-minded and can calmly think about your next actions. Furthermore, if you try to complain while annoyed, your boss’s response might be misinterpreted by you and you could perceive the situation as even more frustrating. Either of these effects would escalate the situation and make it much more difficult to handle. So if you want to make it easier to maintain patience, you need to keep the situation manageable by not taking action immediately and by calming down.

One more way to cultivate patience during a conflict with a frustrating person is to understand that you may have to concede. In a conflict with a frustrating person, if you try to “win” the conflict by having the frustrating person completely stop the behaviour that is frustrating, you will likely become more frustrated, as people often don’t back down in a disagreement. The backfire effect is a principle that explains this. It states that, when presented with information that disproves a person’s idea, people tend to affirm their original idea. This shows that instead of trying to get a frustrated person to agree with your opinion, it is better to compromise. An example of this is trying to disprove misinformation online. In these situations, it may be strategically sound to concede to some of the arguments presented by the other side, just to avoid a more frustrating position. This way, it is much easier to resolve conflict and maintain patience instead of risking an outburst.

Confrontations with frustrating people are a common part of life that everyone will have to deal with eventually. In these situations, it is essential to maintain patience so as to not risk escalating the situation, and the best way to accomplish this is to not engage directly. One could take time away from the frustrating person, try to understand their view or even partially agree with them to lessen the conflict. Despite how frustrated you might be, you must always remember to be patient.

Hi my name is Nathan Yan, I am a student at David Thompson Secondary School. I enjoy activities like debate, computer science and chess, and my favourite subject is math.

Optimism Genes: Do Some People Start Life With More Optimistic Outlook Than Others?

Glory Li (she/her), Volunteer Writer 

 

Genetic outcomes can result in a natural, inherent tendency to respond in a certain personality, but that doesn’t mean we will always react or present ourselves in the same demeanour in any situation. Even if two people both carry an equally optimistic gene, it’s probable to feel more energetic if one grew up in a healthy family dynamic in contrast to another labouring for housework and homework at the same time, making it harder to be optimistic. This article will outline discovered genes governing our level of optimism and prove there’s an ongoing interaction between our genes and the environment.

 

Two well-known genes that controlled optimism level:

 

  1. Dopamine D4 receptor gene (DRD4),[1] is a gene that encodes the level of dopamine in our brain. Elevated moods have been associated with the efficiency of our brain’s dopamine production and degradation. A tiny change — known as single nucleotide polymorphism (SNAP) — in the normal DNA sequence of this receptor gene will lead to either an increased or decreased desire to engage in pleasurable activities like eating chocolates or heavy consumption of alcohol. By being engaged in recreations that bring us joy will create a positive emotional response and divert our attention from pessimistic thoughts. 

 

  1. Serotonin transporter gene,[2] moderate the level of serotonin in the brain by producing transporter proteins to eliminate excess serotonin byproducts from the brain. There are two major genetic variations of the gene: the LL version can absorb and recycle serotonin quickly and the SL version is a slow-paced gene, giving the carrier a weakness for depression that only appears if their environment turned out for the worst. As pessimism is frequently the result of fear and anxiety, people with the SL version experience increased activation of their amygdala or the fear-control centre. They were quicker to locate the position of dangerous objects or scary scenes, at the same time the fastest to locate positive things when events turned favourable. Again, the risk or benefit derived from the very same genes oscillates depending on whether the environment goes right or wrong for an individual.

                   

How Was Optimism Mutually Affected by Genes and Environment?

 

Having the exact codes encoding a positive pattern of thinking doesn’t mean the optimistic trait will be expressed as the gene can always be silenced[3] in response to abrupt environmental changes or chronic exposure to an unfavourable environment. For instance, Professor Ian Weaver[4] studied the gene expression of infants with cold or caring mothers and the impact on their offspring’s ability in handling anxieties. Anxiety and stress has been largely linked to pessimism and depression, so babies receiving poor maternal care have less stress-regulating receptors in the brain meaning that it takes them a longer time to get over the experienced trauma.   

 

The argument goes that having a good environment before puberty will likely exert the strongest effect on instinctive behaviours like having a positive mindset. However, research found an adoptee shared more similarities with their adoptive parents than their biological, genetically-related parents while they were still underaged, but that the parental influence decreased as the child grows up which means that despite living in either a nourishing or an indifferent environment, it would not turn a child into a genius nor a criminal[5]. This analysis indicates that despite environmental influences having authority over gene expression, our optimism is not completely dependent on our backgrounds and the people surrounding us.          

 

This paradox of whether environmental or genetic influences play a greater role in optimism is a “chicken or the egg” question because it varies depending on the individual and the two factors correlate in a complicated relationship. The optimism we experience is evenly divided between our genes and the environment, but if only these unshared environments are considered uncontrollable, we can choose how we face the environment since our decisions in these environments would also change our situational disposition and our genetic expressions down to the core. 

 

Work Cited 

[1]Ptáček, Radek, et al. “Dopamine D4 Receptor Gene DRD4 and Its Association With Psychiatric Disorders.” PubMed Central (PMC), 1 Sept. 2011, https://doi.org/10.12659/MSM.881925.

[2]Houwing, Danielle J., et al. “The Serotonin Transporter and Early Life Stress: Translational Perspectives.” Frontiers, 7 Apr. 2017, https://doi.org/10.3389/fncel.2017.00117.

[3]“Silence Therapeutics – Patients – Gene Silencing Explained – Gene Silencing: The Basics.” Silence Therapeutics – Patients – Gene Silencing Explained – Gene Silencing: The Basics, silence-therapeutics.com/ patients/gene-silencing-explained/gene-silencing-the-basics/default.aspx.

[4]Fox, Elaine. Rainy Brain, Sunny Brain: How to Retrain Your Brain to Overcome Pessimism and Achieve a More Positive Outlook. 2012.

[5]Stangor, Charles, and Jennifer Walinga. “12.3 Is Personality More Nature Or More Nurture? Behavioural and Molecular Genetics – Introduction To Psychology – 1st Canadian Edition.” 12.3 Is Personality More Nature Or More Nurture? Behavioural and Molecular Genetics – Introduction To Psychology – 1st Canadian Edition, opentextbc.ca/introductiontopsychology/chapter/11-3-is-personality-more-nature-or-more- Nurture-behavioural-and-molecular-genetics.

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To Breathe

Cassandra Di Lalla (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

I practice meditation daily because it teaches me to be mindful of my surroundings, but it also shows me that I am powerful enough to be able to shift my energy over to whoever and whatever I desire. 

Meditation has allowed me to immerse myself in different experiences. I often find myself travelling through all these dimensions simply by sitting down comfortably, breathing deeply and thinking intuitively.

I have seen many bright lights, but I have also seen many dark shadows and each and every time I see one or the other, I am reminded that with meditation, you not only see with your eyes, but you also see with many other parts of you. You see with your heart because you’re feeling something in that meditative state. You see with your ears because you hear your heart racing, which then turns into a slower, more soothing pace — a peaceful pulse. You see with your nose because you can smell the calm, clean air being filtered through your lungs every time you take a deep breath. 

Without realizing it, the entire world has been meditating since the beginning of time. How? Because when we are in a panic, we are guided with a soft “take a moment to breathe . . . inhale and exhale.” In those moments, we are so hyper-focused and fixated on our breath work that, naturally, we are in a state of total relaxation, which is essentially what meditating is. At least, it’s a big part of it. How about when you’re all worked up about something, whether positive or negative? Then what happens? Usually, you’ll hear people saying “Calm down.” Depending on the situation, that may either trigger you or help you. If you’re excited about meeting your favourite author or actor, chances are the whole “Calm down” thing wouldn’t really be necessary, because that’s just a burst of energy you have from excitement. However, if you just got into a heated argument with a spouse, parent, sibling, etc . . . then “Calm down” is the last thing you’ll want to hear. But that’s where meditating would definitely come in handy. When you’re angry or upset, breathing is quite literally the easiest and smartest thing to do in order to calm your nerves. Oftentimes, we seem to forget how precious breath work really is. Breathing is effortless — our body automatically does it for us. 

We don’t realize that by practicing meditation daily, we become more self-aware. We are more likely to feel happier, simply because we are paying close attention to our body’s wants and needs. The easier you breathe, the less strain you’re putting on your lungs. Your body does all the work for you between pumping blood, healing itself from bruises or scrapes, or alerting you when you’re feeling tired or overwhelmed. The least you can do is thank your body by helping it recover from everything it does for you. Hold your hand over your heart and breathe deeply . . . inhale, exhale, take a break and start over. 

When people think of meditating, they often assume (at least in my experience) that you absolutely must be sitting down with your eyes closed and your legs crossed, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I say this because you have the total freedom to meditate however, whenever and wherever you feel most comfortable. It’s so liberating! You can sit, stand, lay down or even move freely in the forest or a walking trail if you so choose. It costs nothing to meditate, yet you feel incredibly rich after doing so. There’s something so reassuring and comforting in just breathing in the freshest air and releasing all of your worries out into the free world.

Meditation is boundless. Meditation knows no race, colour, age, gender, or anything else under the warm sun or starry night sky, because meditation is not prejudiced and does not discriminate. It is known universally to humankind.

Meditation knows no hate and will never harm. Instead, it’s like having a halo hovering over you to heal you. It will keep you grounded, but help you grow in abundance ever so gracefully. Meditation is not a congregation; it is not based on religious beliefs or spirituality, because no matter where we were born, where we are living, or what we practice, one sure thing that we all have in common is that we have all mastered the art of breathing, just by being alive and going about our day.

Meditation is such a powerful thing, and as much as we are breathing to stay alive, we are also keeping ourselves alive longer by understanding the importance of each breath we take. Life is too precious to miss out on any of these beautiful moments. Let your breathing break you free of any past regression or hardships. Our goal as the general population of this world should be to keep meditation meaningful for generations to come. 

Cassandra Di Lalla lives life purposefully. She enjoys reading, writing and mental health initiatives. She’s an animal lover for life and an innovative individual always finding new ways to create.

The Slow Burn

Nathan Yan (he/him/his), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

I’m sure you’ve experienced stress before. After a long day of work, you collapse from exhaustion and just want to take a break but can’t. There’s always another assignment, another task, another job. People often try to brave through the stress and ignore the negative consequences, and this is how burnout happens.

When stress is ignored for long periods, burnout happens. Burnout is a state of extreme exhaustion that comes from prolonged exposure to stress, and the excess cortisol in your system it comes with can create physical fatigue. It can cause headaches, fatigue, stomachaches and changes in your appetite, and it can make you more susceptible to illnesses. When you are burnt out, you will likely feel extremely physically weak.

Furthermore, you will also experience emotional fatigue, which can impact your relationships with others as you are too tired to interact meaningfully. These effects can take a heavy toll on your body and mind, so it’s important to address the issue and recover. But how long does it take for someone to recover?

In response to burnout, many people take time off away from what they are burned out from. This includes indulging in hobbies and doing relaxing activities like snacking or drawing warm baths. After this bit of relaxation, people say they feel refreshed and can return to whatever task burnt them out in the first place. However, they soon start to experience burnout again and wonder if they took enough time.

You must recover from both emotional stress and physical stress to fully recover from burnout. This means, at the very least, you must take a minimum amount of time to recover from stress on your body. At the very least it will take a few days to stop headaches or stomach aches, and in the worst case when you catch a cold or flu, it might take a few more days. However, this time does not include how long it takes to recover from emotional fatigue.

The issue is that burnout is often perceived as a simple issue. It is assumed that it will go away after taking some time to recover, like a cold. Unfortunately, burnout is the accumulation of many different factors and not just a singular event or effect. If one doesn’t recover correctly, then the factors are much more likely to return and cause a relapse of burnout and exacerbate the fatigue.

Imagine a student who’s struggling to focus in class because of burnout. They are taking eight different courses every day and are overloaded with homework. If they start to experience burnout, they are likely to take a day off to recover and relax. Even if the student finishes their work, as soon as they return to school, their eight classes will give eight more loads of homework and they will begin to feel overwhelmed again.

Recovering from burnout does not just require time off or relaxation. Recovering from burnout requires lifestyle changes. To properly recover from burnout, you need to find ways to adjust the factors that caused the burnout. Otherwise, the same factors will stack up and the burnout will return as soon as you stop resting. Like an illness, recovering could take months, depending on the case. If you are overworked, burnout might only go away once you learn to manage or adjust your workload. If you become emotionally distant because of burnout, it might go away once you begin to feel joy in your relationships again, or once you develop a stable support system.

The point is that recovering from burnout takes time. It’s not something you can get rid of because you took a quick break. According to online sources, it takes three months to a year to recover from burnout. During this time, you have to focus on the factors that caused your burnout and slowly learn to live and deal with them in your daily life so you can avoid a relapse of burnout. It is important to remember that burnout is a serious issue that is not an easy thing to recover from and will require effort and time.

Hi my name is Nathan Yan, I am a student at David Thompson Secondary School. I enjoy activities like debate, computer science and chess, and my favourite subject is math.

Law of Averages

Eri Ikezawa (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

All my life I have heard my father’s remix on Jim Rohn’s notion that we become the average of the five people with whom we spend the most time. A motivational speaker my dad is not, but he certainly was well-intentioned when he told me as a teenager to try and surround myself with people who would inspire me to better myself. 

Now to clarify, Rohn’s idea was conceptualized in connection with the law of averages — which in mathematics stipulates that the sum of a set of numbers is then divided by the amount of numbers in the set. The result will be the central value. Similarly, the people with whom we are most closely intertwined will contribute to the sort of person we are likely to be. 

Obviously as a teenager, when one is wading through thorny thickets, staggering over scorching coals and suffocating while swallowing stones for a sense of identity, I did not take too kindly to my father’s stab at guidance. In my clichéd adolescent angst, anything my father said was taken with a grain of salt. Headstrong as a foal trying to find its footing after birth when I was a child, stubborn as a mule when I was a teenager. 

But as I grow older, I have begun to see the sagacity in his words. As I figuratively shed disguises that didn’t suit me and molted traits that did not serve me, I really began to prioritize people that incited positive change within me. I began to sincerely value those who did not enable my poor decisions and recalcitrant behaviors. And as these amazing people humbled me by ensuring I took accountability and responsibility for my wrongdoings, my true growth as a person commenced. 

All this being said, I do think there is also a certain truth to the idea that birds of a feather flock together. After all, my relationships with the people closest to me embarked once we established superficial commonalities — shared hobbies, recreational interests and so forth. But that being said, the driving force that bonds me to my most precious people are the values we hold. For example, how do we treat people around us? Are we flexible in our worldviews? Do we strive to better ourselves as people? Do we take culpability for our mistakes? 

Once I recognized that it was the fundamental principles that we held that I treasured most in the people around me, it also came to my notice that if people really care to listen and cherish those around them, they don’t always have to share common interests with those people. I don’t necessarily share the same music taste with, well, almost any of my friends. Some of my friends are avid sports-loving athletes — I am most certainly not. Others enjoy gaming and I, again, do not. But these differences feel so minimal in the grand scheme of things. 

I still want to hear and listen to them speak passionately about the things that they enjoy, because it brings me inherent happiness to see them zealously excited over something. It takes so little to show interest in other people, and it makes me so elated to be invited into an intimate soiree of their joy. 

As for me, it’s become integral to distance myself from sources that catalyze sentiments of uncertainty and self-doubt in me.  When people find themselves around people who cause them to waver, like little rippling flags in the wind where the shapes on the fabric become perverted distortions, it’s hard not to question who you really are. You begin to wonder why you are content with people who don’t hold the same values as you. You begin to question what kind of person you are if you can be complacent against injustice. Is my love for this person enough that I can discount and be silent against the values they willingly represent and advocate for? 

But maybe I’m just speaking from my own personal experiences. 

As I get older, as much as I want to be surrounded by people who challenge me to be better, who inspire humility in me, I do not want to be a person who can stand idly by when people are being selfish, cruel or judgmental. I don’t ever want to be a person who is tolerant of intolerance, or silent in the face of oppression or injustice. 

I also find I become drained, a puttering engine on its last legs of life and luster, when people exude an aura of negativity and toxicity, insidious and noxious in the way they infect you from the inside out. I used to attempt to bear it under the veil of compassion and empathy, running circles to explain why they needed someone to be in their corner to hopefully incite positive change, but once I recognized the toll it was taking on me, it just wasn’t worth it. 

It is funny, isn’t it, how many of us struggle with our parents’ interventions and wisdom when we are angsty teenagers — how the battle for our identity clashes with what now seems like basic common sense and clichés. While my parents and I may operate differently in some ways as the products of our generations and times, so many of our values and perspectives also do align at the same time. 

And so now, while writing this, I can’t help but wryly smile at how fervently I argued against my father’s point. It’s possible, when we are teenagers, that we lack the foresight and acumen to make sound social decisions, so perhaps what I believed was true — at that period in my life. But now, I truly subscribe to the belief my father pedalled so hard to pass on, and now I actively promote it myself. At this point in my life, it is quality over quantity. 

I just want to be around people who make me feel good — and encourage me to be better.

My name is Eri Ikezawa and I have an extended minor in psychology and a major in linguistics. I’m still on the path to quelling questions about myself and the direction I want to head in, but in the meantime, I have always wanted to find a way to help others and contribute to a community dedicated to personal development and self-love.

The Post-Grad Pressure: “What Now?”

Olivia Alberton (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

“So, what now?” This was one of the many confusing and consuming questions circulating in my head after I graduated in June 2022. After four years of hard work, dedication, stress and tears, I crossed that stage and obtained my university degree. The feeling was surreal. It was hard to process how, just like that, I was done. What was harder to process was that I did not have a plan for what was next. In my first year of university, I assumed that, by the time I graduated, I would either know what I would do or have an internship. Alas, I did not. What should have been a time of celebration and happiness turned into a time of feeling lost and helpless. The “what now” question was a big rain cloud over my head that just would not go away. 

Upon graduating, there was this pressure I felt that I needed to find a full-time job because that was what was “supposed” to happen. I also felt the pressure from others. People were asking me “What’s next?”, “What kind of jobs are you applying for?”, “What do you want to do with your degree?” and “What kind of job can you get with your degree?” So many questions plagued me that all I wanted to do was bury my head in the sand. I felt stupid because I did not know the answer to those questions, and I felt like I should. In addition, I think there is a narrative etched into society that children in school need to know exactly what they want to do. Society poses this question to teens and expects them to have answers. My guidance counsellor in high school was not helpful and I did not know what I wanted to do. Feeling lost, I took a gap year and thought about what I wanted to learn and what I was passionate about. After weighing my options, I went to McMaster University and obtained a double major in English & cultural studies and history. I love my degree and I do not regret it. However, it does not erase the pressure I face to find a job so I can put my degree to use. At times I feel like I am stuck in my part-time job and my degree is wasting away. All the hard work I put into obtaining that degree was for nothing so far. The rational part of my brain knows that is not the case, however, the irrational part of me cannot help but think that at times.

The pressure one faces after they graduate is something that I do not think is discussed enough. We are in school for so many years that, when that chapter closes and we are told to “go into the real world,” it is a shock. Being a student comprises so much of one’s identity and is always a source of consistency. Therefore, when the chapter of being a student closed for me, I felt this anxiety and pressure I never had to face before. I never had to think about what was next, because there was always school come September. Not this time though. It was up to me to write the next chapter, and I had writer’s block. 

It has been a year now since I graduated, and the pressure has not dissipated. It is still there, some days more apparent than others. I am still facing the “what now” question. The raincloud that would not leave the months following graduating comes and goes, it just depends on the day. I am trying not to let the post-grad pressure get to me because that is not how I want to live. Rather, I am trying to stay positive and remember that the idea that we are supposed to have it all figured out is a lie. Not knowing what you are doing with your life is not bad, it is just life. Life, especially in these times, is hard, complex and confusing. To place the expectation that we must have “it” figured out is both stress-inducing and wrong. So even though I am still facing that “what now” question, all I can do is stay hopeful that everything will be okay and trust in the process. Although it is uncomfortable and the unknown can be scary, I think that is the only way we can grow, to move forward with hope. To those who are also dealing with the post-grad pressure, I hope you know that you are not alone, and when things seem daunting or hopeless, just think about how far you have come. Your younger self would be so proud. Keep going, be gentle with yourself and try not to let the post-grad pressure get to you.   

Olivia is a recent McMaster University graduate with a combined honours in English & cultural studies and history. She loves to read, write and, of course, drink coffee.

Self-Development Through a Career in Law

Danyal Hakakzargar, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Legal careers promote effective communication and attention to detail, by providing the opportunity for critical thinking, collaboration, information analysis and research.

  • Attention to Detail

A successful legal career demands accuracy, consistency and attention to detail. Non-professional or incorrect words can alter the meaning of a phrase or contract, and clients may stop doing business with the firm as a result of receiving emails, letters, or papers that are misspelled or poorly written. Employers look for spelling, punctuation, and grammar issues while reviewing applications for jobs or training contracts. A recruiter could wonder what a potential customer would think of the letter of advice if the cover letter is unclear, excessively long, or filled with spelling errors. To enhance attention to detail, interns can regularly review and proofread documents and note professional and legal words used in case briefs, contracts and notices.

  • Information Analysis and Research

Any profession in law involves reading a lot of material, taking in facts and numbers, analyzing it, and condensing it into comprehensible material. The key is being able to identify the pertinent information from a sea of data and convey it to clients in a clear, succinct manner. The daily duties of a lawyer also involve a significant amount of research when conducting background research for a case, producing legal documents, and counseling clients on complex topics. Students can master this skill by building a network of connections and becoming familiar with online and library resources during university. Industry ties can prove to be a valuable source of assistance for a newly qualified solicitor or barrister.

  • Critical Thinking and Problem-Solving

Contrary to popular belief, there are many opportunities for creative expression in the legal field. The wisest line of action is not always the simplest or most obvious, as knowledgeable attorneys will attest. Critical thinking and creative problem-solving will be put to use virtually daily to outsmart the opposition and secure the best result for clients. Participating in student competitions, such as mooting, becoming a student representative, or obtaining a position in the students’ union are effective ways to build these skills.

  • Organization and Filing

The job of a solicitor or barrister is one giant juggling act from researching legal issues to drafting legal documents and contracts to managing case files, meeting clients, attending court, and networking with other legal professionals. Organizational skills are crucial for prioritizing tasks and effectively simultaneously working on multiple tasks. To avoid confusion and save time, attorneys and interns must file documents, cases, and contracts consistently. Additionally, all papers must be stored per legal requirements to maintain the confidentiality of customer information and communications and to grant only authorized employees access.

  • Clear and Efficient Communication

Without excellent oral and written communication abilities, it will be difficult for solicitors to perform their duties. When working with clients, it is crucial to have excellent listening skills to establish connections and inspire confidence. A lawyer must remain confident when arguing a case in court, negotiating a settlement, or educating clients on complex topics. Interns must also write in an effective, concise, and clear manner to reduce confusion. Students can participate in debate teams or mooting competitions as well as serve as a spokesman to master this skill before working as a barrister. Writing proficiency is crucial when writing letters and legal papers, as lawyers must understand and be able to communicate in both technical and legal terminology. University law societies offer a great opportunity to enhance written communication abilities by composing newsletters, drafting emails and recording meeting minutes.

  • Commercial Awareness

Lawyers and interns need to be well-versed in current events in local, national, and international business, particularly those that affect a law firm’s clients. Firms anticipate that employees will promote their services to potential clients and build rapport with current clientele. As law firms are ultimately businesses, attorneys must understand the necessity of keeping costs reasonable, meeting deadlines, and treating client information with confidentiality. Clients also demand that attorneys have a thorough understanding of their industry as well as any broader social, political, and economic concerns that may have an impact. Aside from understanding the immediate, moderate, and long-term effects of their client’s business plan, lawyers may also need to consider the organization’s strategic possibilities and threats as well as its strengths and weaknesses. This gives the attorney the best opportunity to offer practical, business-oriented legal guidance.

  • Teamwork and Leadership

In addition to communicating with clients, lawyers must work together with partners and other professionals to win cases. Barristers frequently collaborate on high-profile cases with other barristers and must have a close working relationship with their clerks. Individuals at all levels of the legal system master teamwork from interns and lawyers to judges. Clients must also have confidence in their legal counsel, therefore lawyers must be personable, persuasive, and courteous. The simplest approach to improving people skills is joining a team including arts, sports and science teams and activities involving collaboration. In addition, lawyers must have the initiative and fortitude to act independently and successfully collaborate in teams. Finally, barristers and solicitors must manage their time well under pressure to produce high-quality results that benefit their customers while managing demanding workloads and deadlines.

Danyal is a fourth-year criminology and business student at Simon Fraser University with a keen approach to business lawyering, authoring articles about various topics including self-development, education and conflicts.

The Newness of Birth

Halimah Ajibade, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

Childbirth comes with changes, both visible and invisible. During pregnancy, the most visible change is the protruding stomach. However, during childbirth, most changes occur internally and in the brain. 

While the changes in a mother’s brain are not visible, they are significant. Studies have shown that the size and structure of certain brain regions change after childbirth. For example, the amygdala, which is responsible for processing emotions, becomes more active and better connected to other parts of the brain. The prefrontal cortex, one of the areas responsible for decision-making, planning and social behaviour, also appears, in animal tests, to undergo changes that help mothers be more attuned to their children’s needs.

During motherhood, the brain seems conditioned to send signals to other parts of the body to care more, love more and pay more attention, making the mother more responsible.

The existence of a whole being lies in a mother’s care. When my sister had her first child, I remember being at home with her. She was very tired, and I offered to help her watch her child while she slept. But soon, I fell asleep too, oblivious to the baby’s cries. My sister woke up, despite her exhaustion, to care for the baby. What made the difference? How did she hear the cries while I didn’t? An animal study published in Nature in 2015 suggests that this level of recognition might be due to oxytocin, a hormone that manages key aspects of human reproductive systems, including labour and delivery, lactation, and aspects of human behaviour. During childbirth, oxytocin creates a connection between the mother and child, possibly helping the mother understand the baby’s needs and distinguish their cries from those of other babies. This might be why my sister woke up to the first cry of her baby while I lay unmoved until the baby slept again.

Oxytocin also appears to play a role in managing emotions like depression and anxiety, with some studies showing a possible correlation between postpartum depression and lower oxytocin levels. As a new mother, it’s easy to become anxious or depressed, based on the child’s behaviour. In a small study in 2010, Yale researchers found that, after childbirth, the brain areas responsible for memory, emotions, reasoning, motivation and sensory perception increase in volume. These changes may be related to a mother’s increased ability to recognize and respond to her baby’s needs and her heightened emotional attachment to her child.

Emotional attachment is not the only change that happens to a new mother. Other changes include “mommy brain,” where mothers tend to forget things because they are so obsessed with their child. Hormonal changes also occur, including a sharp drop in estrogen and progesterone levels after delivery, which can lead to mood swings and irritability. Prolactin, which is responsible for milk production, increases, leading to lactation and potentially impacting mood as well.

Changes in women differ based on genetics, environment, diet, etc . . . These changes also last for different durations, some for up to two years. Although some changes may seem small, they are significant and have long-term effects. For example, studies have shown that mothers who breastfeed their children may have a reduced risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease later in life.

During this stage, women need a lot of support because it’s tough to get used to these changes. Besides adjusting to these changes, they need support while they take care of the child because it’s easy to forget oneself while focusing on the child’s needs. As painful as childbirth is, the joy that comes with motherhood is inexplicable.

It’s essential to remember that when we talk about childbirth and its aftereffects, that it’s not just women who are affected. Fathers also experience slight changes in their brains, as oxytocin is released in them too, helping them create a bond with their children.

Leave your thoughts for Halimah in the comments below. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and YouTube to stay up-to-date with Low Entropy news!

How does visiting home after four years feel?

Simar Kaur, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

For some, places are a representation of rich history and architecture. For some, it is a representation of authentic food. And for some, places just represent people and their stories. I would say places are nothing but a concoction of bittersweet memories, memories that sway you from time to time. But a few places are so close to your heart that their essence flows through your blood like a gentle breeze. Imagine revisiting one such place after a long gap of four years! Yes! Gives you butterflies in the stomach.  

I had that feeling when I was revisiting the most prominent place in my life after four years — my home, the place where I grew up physically, emotionally and spiritually. People say that you can leave home, but your home will never leave you. Well! I certainly felt it after living away from home for so long. Each wall at our place was a display of my artistic self. You would always be welcomed home with the aroma of spices, topped with Mumma’s love. Her kitchen garden was her passion project and her money plant never withered. The living room always echoed with grandpa’s laughter and grandma’s stories. The freezer was always overflowing with my favorite flavor of ice cream that my dad would bring in after a long day at work.  

On the flight, I was picturing how my home would feel the same as I had remembered — like a bright sunny day. Home was where I had always belonged after fighting the battles of life. Home always felt like warmth in Mumma’s arms. But this time when I went home, I somehow felt that I did not belong there. I was not welcomed by my grandpa’s laughter this time. He was eagerly waiting for me to return and meet him, but succumbed to God’s plan before I made it home. My grandpa was a jovial and compassionate man. His smile was contagious, and all my stress would melt in front of him. But this time I was welcomed with his picture hanging on the wall with a garland around it. Without him, home felt like nothing but four walls. For the first time in my life, it felt like home was pushing me away instead of hugging me tight.  

Grandma had lost her charm after losing grandpa. She looked pale and weak. I was taken back to the times when I would lay on her lap and listen to the stories and experiences of her life. But this time her stories did not echo in the room. The only thing that accompanied us was terrifying silence. Everything felt out of place and order. People I loved had changed — some left their bodies, and some had grown old. Mom and dad now had grey hair and were not as energetic as before. Dad could not play badminton for the long durations he would before because of his back ache. Mom did not shout at my brother to get ready for school. And my younger brother had now turned into a full-grown man and did not fight with me like he would in the past. There used to be a lot of calmness in the chaos at home. It resembled the chaos in my life, and that is how I felt a sense of belongingness at home. But now my favorite place felt so lifeless. 

Not only had people at home changed, but also the things around the house. Walls were now painted in bright white, and all my wall sketches had disappeared forever. My mom’s money plant had now withered. She no longer felt passionate about maintaining her kitchen garden. I remembered sitting amidst her plants and listening to music for hours. I could no longer do that. What hurt me the most was that my mom had slowly given up on her passions.

I did not have a closet to myself anymore and my books looked like they were abandoned in dust. My brother had revamped the room, inspired by his favorite movie character. My pink fairyland now looked like a Marvel movie setup. These little changes made me feel as though I was not a part of the family anymore. I felt guilty of missing out on so much that it made me feel as if I had never belonged to this place I called “home.” But something that never changed was the love my family had for me in their eyes, and photos of my childhood in our living room that mom adored every day.

Leave your thoughts for Simar in the comments below. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and YouTube to stay up-to-date with Low Entropy news!

Teaching and Self-Development

Danyal Hakakzargar, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Despite its challenges, teaching promotes self-development by providing the opportunity to develop critical thinking, negotiation, leadership, and conflict-resolution skills.

  • Critical Thinking

Teaching is a great way to develop several abilities, including critical thinking. Before making a decision, people can critically evaluate and analyze situations, offer solutions and consider the ramifications of those solutions. Although they can range in complexity, most scenarios involving students demand substantial thinking and consideration because they are also learning from their teachers and mentors as examples in addition to the course material. For instance, students at all academic levels frequently request last-minute alterations and deadline extensions, which could interfere with the meticulous planning and schedule. Teachers must evaluate the time remaining before and after prospective modifications and their impact on other parts of the course to prevent mismanagement.

  • Effective Decision-Making

People in senior roles often have more difficulty making decisions in complex situations since those decisions frequently have a lasting impact on many or all of the members. Before making an informed decision, it is essential to use critical thinking and weigh available options. Nonetheless, certain decisions necessitate careful consideration, review, and approval from faculty members to guarantee compliance with institutional standards. For instance, during the pandemic, institutions offered teachers significant autonomy over how the curriculum was implemented; many of these professors eliminated certain concepts or switched them to an online learning format. While these modifications were overseen by the faculty, several courses including seminars, exams, or presentations had to be significantly changed as a result of the pandemic, even having some sections of the course removed. 

  • Negotiation

One of the most difficult aspects of teaching is grading, where many students are either dissatisfied with the grading or are not aware of the grading criteria. While some teachers remain confident and can defend their grading, many fail to offer sufficient justification for awarding students a low grade. Teachers must maintain consistency in grading, and employ factual and logical mark distribution even though grading can frequently be a major challenge. Although negotiating and changing the criterium might seem effortless and basic, doing so can be just as difficult as developing the exam questions or grading criteria in the first place. Thus, negotiation must include constructive criticism, justification for the grade, and suggestions for how students can develop and learn.

  • Leadership and Planning

Teachers must show effective leadership by setting exemplary standards and behaviour, while some teachers falsely behave more like bosses than leaders due to the power and authority bestowed upon them. This fear-inducing behaviour deprives students of the excitement and educational opportunities that learning should be providing. Although certain courses may contain more difficult concepts, professors should act as mentors and provide material in a way that is both reviewable and comprehensible, giving students the chance to seek assistance. Teachers should also use planning as a technique to develop a realistic schedule sufficient for finishing each task and covering any measurable contingencies for change, due to the rushed nature of post-secondary semester length. 

  • Conflict-Resolution

Another difficulty that teachers frequently encounter is conflict resolution. This conflict may involve staff, students, or other members of the institution. Teachers must employ conflict resolution strategies to discover a workable settlement that is advantageous to all parties, rather than trying to convince the parties of who is right and who is wrong. Effective strategies include identifying the challenge, the current obstacles, and the barriers that lie beyond the conflict, as well as developing a common goal and exploring how it might be achieved. For instance, teachers frequently deal with instances where group members refuse to continue working together because they are dissatisfied with one another’s work. Teachers must hear the perspectives of both or all sides and explain the project’s or group’s common goal before coming up with an agreement, with the resolution being the primary goal.

  • Collaboration and Social Competence

Collaboration and social competence are other vital skills necessary for teachers to understand and empathize with students while maintaining confidence and respect in their position. Teachers must create a healthy learning space with respect and dignity, where all students are welcomed and feel comfortable reaching out to teachers or assistants. This collaborative environment helps teachers identify each student’s strengths and weaknesses and accordingly help them improve, encouraging participation in office hours or exam preps, which are also helpful in their future careers.

 

– 

Danyal is a fourth-year criminology and business student at Simon Fraser University with a keen approach to business lawyering, authoring articles about various topics including self-development, education and conflicts.

Professional Sports and Self-Development

Danyal Hakakzargar, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

  • Inclusion and Equality

Professional sports can range from solo events with no teammates, like swimming and golf, to team sports with many teammates, like baseball and soccer. Being inclusive and providing each member with an equal chance to grow and succeed is crucial. Due to the lack of respect or perceived equal value among teammates, sports teams frequently fail to prevent and manage internal problems. Teams benefit from a cohesive mentality since they frequently include players of all skill levels, from amateurs with limited experience to professionals with extensive experience. The leading sports teams can anticipate conflicts and resolve them before they become heated or disruptive to the team.  

  • Teamwork

Professional sports are competitive team activities where athletes must cooperate with coaches, trainers, and other team members. Athletes learn unity, productivity, and teamwork in a setting that also calls for passion and loyalty, whether they compete individually or as a team. For instance, to defeat other teams, soccer players must work with all team members, whereas weakly unified teams frequently succumb to pressure. Each athlete brings experience and values which play an essential role in achieving the team’s objective. Teamwork can be applied to collaboration and problem-solving, similar to leadership and discipline.

  • Leadership and Discipline

Sports also help to develop leadership qualities by teaching athletes respect, constructive criticism, and discipline in addition to teamwork and collaboration. A strong leader is aware of the advantages and weaknesses of their team members and encourages them to strengthen their areas of weakness while remaining open to self-improvement and constructive criticism. While some team captains have commanding and domineering personalities, the most effective ones exhibit tenacity and comprehension of both their players and the game. Importantly, leaders often initiate and uphold professionalism, respect, and discipline within the team. Leadership skills and discipline can be commonly used for logical thinking, decision-making and problem-solving.

  • Healthy Living and Consistency

Professional sports promote a healthy lifestyle that emphasizes consistency, balance, and agility in addition to individual and team skills. A healthy lifestyle, albeit subjectively defined, typically entails a consistent routine of sports or activities to maintain fitness, a balance of time spent on work, school, people, and other activities for mental and emotional health, and flexibility in adjusting to life’s changes. Staying fit not only improves one’s physical and mental well-being but also helps one concentrate and reduces stress. Generally, about 150 minutes of moderate-intense physical activity a week can reduce the risk of chronic conditions like type 2 diabetes, heart disease, many types of cancer, depression, anxiety, and dementia.

  • Sportsmanship and Respect

Professional sports promote competition, passion and loyalty which can often diminish respect and dignity between team members and opponents, which harms its beneficial implications. Professional and sagacious mentally train to maintain sportsmanship and respect even in the most heated moments of the competition. While competition is the key factor in creating excitement and thrill, constructive competition can often take matters out of hand, resulting in players suffering critical physical or psychological injuries. Thus, athletes must de-escalate matters and try their best to help their opponents, such as marathon runners carrying injured runners to the finish line. These skills can be used to manage and prevent conflicts as well as boost unity within teams.

Professional sports can foster rivalry, fervour, and loyalty, which can impair their positive effects by eroding respect and dignity amongst teammates and rivals. Even in the most heated parts of the competition, wise and professional athletes psychologically train to retain sportsmanship and respect. While competition is the primary driver of thrill and excitement, healthy competition can frequently spiral out of control and cause serious bodily or psychological harm to players. As a result, athletes must diffuse the situation and make every effort to assist their rivals, such as when marathon runners carry injured competitors to the finish line. These abilities can be used to handle and avoid disputes as well as increase team cohesion.

  • Analytical Skills

Athletes heavily practice analytical skills and require the rapid ability to collect, thoroughly analyze and remember information. Professional sports demand athletes to consistently train their visual, processing and problem-solving skills based on the information collected in almost immediate sequences depending on the speed of the sport. For example, tennis players commonly target their opponent’s backhand or forehand more often as they have analyzed their weaknesses and can use them as an advantage. The efficient analysis also allows athletes to recognize and adjust to changes using previous training and immediate judgment in addition to critical thinking. Analytical skills can be used for brainstorming, creative thinking and problem-solving.

  • Critical Thinking and Conflict Management

Professional sports put athletes under a lot of stress, but they also help develop their critical thinking and conflict management skills. In addition to internal conflicts, obstacles, and risks, critical thinking can be applied to sports and competitions. For instance, to avoid serious injuries, athletes must be aware of their limitations and alert their coaches of any mental or physical issues they may be having. To avoid harm to the athlete and team, coaches must similarly consider the athlete’s condition and make appropriate choices. These decisions are often immediate yet crucial, underscoring the value of intelligence and skill development.

Professional sports importantly give athletes the chance to work as and lead a team while honing their inclusivity, sportsmanship, and analytical and critical thinking skills.

Danyal is a fourth-year criminology and business student at Simon Fraser University with a keen approach to business lawyering, authoring articles about various topics including self-development, education and conflicts.

Dismissing the Baleful Gaze

Eri Ikezawa (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

Close your eyes. 

Imagine you can feel the soft pulses of your heartbeat beneath your ribcage, the rhythmic rise and fall of your chest, air trickling out of your nose as you exhale. The intricate mechanisms of your body keeping you alive behind the scenes as you shuttle around the daily activities of your life. 

Now, add an intangible pressure thrumming low and subdued in the background. It snuffles like a tickled murmur in your ear at first, before its momentum accelerates and the pressure incrementally begins to make itself known to you. 

At best, you simply try ignoring it — and at worst, you try to swat at it irritably, like a pesky mosquito coming to make a quick feast of you. 

But you missed the target and you’re left with the pulsating itch beneath your skin, the insidious salvia of the insect causing a bodily reaction, the residual bump already raised and large. 

Peer pressure, to me, feels like a similar experience. 

When I have experienced it at its absolute worst — when I was surrounded by the wrong friends and people — I recall it feeling like a heavy burden, a pressure so immense it completely crystallized my free will. It had felt like it had temporarily inhibited my ability to act with sovereignty. 

And for me, the nadir was the lingering feeling of having abandoned my own values or morals to appease someone else, or to “fit in” seamlessly, frightened of whatever level of ostracization I would face for exposing my own raw thoughts. 

Now — to haul you back to the present-day version of myself — I have come to the realization that peer pressure is much easier to combat as one gets older, after gathering more wisdom and becoming more selective with the company you keep. As long as you are surrounded with positive people who respect you and your boundaries, peer pressure can become a thing of the past in your immediate inner circle. 

But at the end of the day, it is impossible to completely eradicate the presence of peer pressure in one’s life. Whether it is in the professional or personal arena, there will inevitably be someone who will push at the barrier of your boundaries to test how safe and sound it is, attempting to manipulate your navigational sense to suit their own agenda. 

Practically speaking, it isn’t easy to withstand such pressure — and it would be unfair to understate the arduousness of staying resilient, especially when you aren’t just facing one pesky individual who doesn’t respect your boundaries, but a group of them with hive mentality. 

What it then becomes is a question of how to manage the stress, discomfort and pressure that ensues — whilst still maintaining your position, sticking to your guns under the baleful gaze of a pushy lobbyist. 

There is no one way to accomplish a 100% success rate, especially if you possess people-pleasing tendencies (as I do), but it becomes a matter of practice and experience. I recall much of my youth, especially as a teenager and early twenties, being an incessant internal battle of priorities between my own needs and wants versus someone else’s happiness. 

Back then, my perspective was that in order to be a good person I had to make sacrifices to make other people happy. Now, I am still a proponent of this notion and so that creed hasn’t changed that much — that is, I still believe that you do need to make sacrifices to make people happy. But I realized over time that there have to be stipulations to that; I cannot place other people’s needs over mine without some level of partiality. 

So now, I have modified that idea too: I voluntarily choose to make sacrifices for people whom I love and care for, those who will willingly reciprocate my efforts in kind, whenever I can and have the capacity to do so. And if I have a remaining reserve of energy, then be kind and do what I can, whenever I am able to, for other people as well. 

This all stems from the core, ensuring that I am maintaining and nourishing my emotional stock and wellness in order to then make more space for other people; I am choosing to make decisions that personally benefit me, without maliciously harming others, and it is not wrong or inherently selfish. And oftentimes, I really don’t mind going out of my way for other people, so it makes me feel better that I am not being stingy with generosity.

When I got to a point where I truly understood the weight of those words, truly entrenching and drenching myself in those concepts, it became easier to shed the burden of peer pressure. Rather than intensely sensing the malignant pressure of other people’s expectations and desires, I felt as though it glided right off my skin, a slick slide of tough scales protecting me from becoming malleable for the sake of ingratiating myself to other people. 

But as I mentioned earlier, just because it has gotten easier, it is always a matter of practice to ensure that I continue to advocate for myself, my values, and for people who may still struggle with speaking up for themselves. I don’t always succeed, but for each year, I know that my ability to endorse for myself is getting stronger and better. And so I take each “failure” as a lesson in hopes that, if a similar situation arises, I will be able to rise to the occasion next time. 

I try to remind myself, at the end of the day, that pleasing someone else by bending and moulding myself to suit their needs resolves the unsatisfying sensation of displeasing them temporarily. But if I compromise my own values or desires that are valid for someone else, the cognitive dissonance of letting myself do so will most likely have a lasting value. 

And I want to be proud of myself for making the right choices for a better tomorrow. 

My name is Eri Ikezawa and I have an extended minor in psychology and a major in linguistics. I’m still on the path to quelling questions about myself and the direction I want to head in, but in the meantime, I have always wanted to find a way to help others and contribute to a community dedicated to personal development and self-love.

Wake Up and Be Better: Am I Not Doing Enough for the World?

Nasly Roa Noriega (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, feeling my chest pounding fast as I am overwhelmed by so many questions swirling around in my head. What am I doing with my life? I take a slow breath, get out of bed and look up at the starry horizon overlooking my bedroom and ask myself with a clear mind: Am I doing enough for this world that barely knows me?

To wake up every day is a great achievement for human existence, it is to know that you have the opportunity to take advantage of a new day, it is the greatest challenge to wake up and have a path that takes you somewhere. Whether or not you are doing something for others, knowing what you are going to leave to those who come after you should be something to which you should turn your mind.

When I was a child I thought everything was so easy and thought of the ease of a better future. That’s why I wanted to grow up fast, because I thought I could reach the sky just by closing and opening my eyes. But I grew up. I do not know from what moment everything became so difficult but, today seems so uncertain, because it is not in my hands to change the world or do enough to leave that piece of heaven to those who come after me.

And I realize that I must survive many prejudices that hinder the realization of my dreams if I want to achieve that peace of mind that allows me to go further than I could have imagined as a child, and that my existence is indispensable in this complex world.

Years have passed and I still have things to do, but time is ticking and the clock of life is running so fast that it barely gives me room to breathe. In such a complex world, the most important thing is to face the fear that can block your mind, the fear that silences your voice when you want to be heard, the fear that paralyzes you when you want to take firm steps. This is what I do day by day: face that fear that makes us weak, look at the world without fear and involve others in my decision to make a better world, where we can live without fear of making mistakes and think like children, eagerly desiring that future and learning to live with fear, but not letting it defeat us.

In this world, a large part of the population does not know that I exist, much less what I am doing for the world. I do not know what the rest of the world does to improve it, but what I do know is that I wake up every day knowing that my voice can be encouragement to others who have lost the strength to continue fighting. I wake up with the firm strength that my children will continue doing their best to take care of their world, and to guide those who have lost their way.

One day I woke up and made the wise decision to volunteer at Low Entropy, and though I had never heard of this organization, something told me that they could allow me to reach other people whom I did not know, but whom I could encourage and guide through my words to continue making the world a shared one where, despite the distances between us, we feel closer every day and there are no differences, a world where we can give a lot without expecting anything in return. Then I understood that there are no distances and no barriers keeping us from doing enough for the world in which we live, that language will not limit me to reach more people and tell them, “Here I am! I exist for you.” I understood that I could reach more voices and we could form echoes that resonate in every corner, because every wise word I contributed could encourage someone, and subtle gestures could allow me to generate smiles from people who had lost hope. Living and thinking about other people keeps the Earth spinning, and every time someone wakes up they have the same ability that I do to wake up each day and give the best of themselves.

Thanks to Low Entropy, I understood that we can join more people to change the world, helping others to believe in themselves and go far, crossing distances and remembering our motto that I repeat every day: “Change yourself, Change the world.” The world turns according to the way you turn it, the steps flow in the way you decide to move forward and your attitude is what generates positive or negative changes in your life. Accepting that we are different, but that we can make a difference, is the first step in moving forward. Knowing that many people have dreams, longings and hopes keeps the Earth breathing.

Am I doing enough for the world? I am. Are you?

Nasly is an economist living in Colombia, in a very nice coastal city called Santa Marta. She has been writing since she was a child, and has always thought that writing is the fastest way to speak without fear of expressing what we feel. Being a volunteer is a very rewarding job in Nasly’s life, as she believes there is nothing more important than helping without expecting anything in return.

Committee Involvement and Self-Development

Danyal Hakakzargar, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

  • Critical Thinking

To reach more effective decisions, committees have a deliberative assembly that broadens the topic under consideration for committee members to investigate. Every committee member must use critical thinking as a tool to find, evaluate, and compare issues that frequently involve a variety of stakeholders and to come to wise judgements. If the problem at hand is viewed from a variety of angles, complex scenarios may result, forcing the committee to order its priorities according to perceived value. For instance, external and lobbying university committee members must understand the perceived value of a “tuition freeze” campaign for all stakeholders, including students, employees, and the institution. Hence, without critical thinking and considering the interests of stakeholders, the committee would not be able to reach a decision that is both beneficial and hedonistic. 

  • Decision-Making

Decision-making is arguably the most challenging task of committees, especially if the assembly consists of diverse internal viewpoints. Depending on the complexity, topics are evaluated over an extended period after thorough stakeholder analysis, rational decisions, and voting privileges granted to the committee. Hence, an efficient comparison of the benefits and drawbacks of each decision is necessary, followed by precedent decisions on related topics, and a thorough analysis of how the decision will affect future policies and regulations. For instance, members of the university health and safety committee must thoroughly review all applicable federal, provincial, and municipal health regulations before choosing between the primary and alternate action plans.

  • Individualism

Being a committee member requires one to practice working in groups and develop independence and self-reliance. Each member must independently do in-depth research, acquire data, and then share their conclusions with the other members while the subject is presented to the assembly as a whole. While not the most effective approach, it guarantees that each committee member is contributing to the overall goal of the group and is aware of the problem at hand. For instance, a university accessibility committee will frequently urge its members to go back to personal experiences where the university did not meet their accessibility needs, and then they will negotiate to change the rules to reflect these 

  • Teamwork

Committee members learn collaborative ethics, which are useful in real-world circumstances, in addition to individualistic skills. Members of this group must respect and acknowledge the different points of view held by other members while also challenging one another’s arguments. Maintaining clear and succinct communication while being open to criticism and willing to learn are requirements for teamwork. Clarifying tasks and responsibilities within the group eliminates confusion, prevents mismanagement, and internal conflicts, all of which are essential components of cooperation. For example,  university committees frequently assign one member to chair meetings (president), one to handle negotiations (vice president), four to five members at large to address student communications, and one to two members to manage budgeting and paperwork.

  • Leadership

As many events emerge and demand members of the committee to act immediately and control crises, leadership is a crucial ability needed as a committee member. Leadership is frequently thought of as having charisma and a rigid mentality, but it requires the ability to handle time and conflicts to keep the committee on track. While addressing the matter at hand, leaders must exhibit early recognition and awareness, integrity, and accountability, particularly in external communications between the committee and the university or other bodies. These abilities were frequently demonstrated during the pandemic, when schools cancelled classes and temporarily closed several buildings, limiting students’ access to resources and study areas. In these situations, members must take the initiative to plan meetings to examine the matter, obtain staff and student comments, and make reference to prior choices made in analogous situations.

  • Networking

Assemblies that meet and communicate with other entities about diverse topics make up committees. Being a committee member has many advantages, including the opportunity to network with other committee members or representatives of other organizations, which can create positive impressions and connections. Thus, committee members must take advantage of the opportunity to attend meetings, voice their thoughts, and get to know one another. When meeting with governmental or community representatives as well as other university committees, they should also inquire about career opportunities. For instance, university external and community affairs committees frequently host lobbying workshops and meet with government and community representatives to introduce their members to senior professionals with vast experience in a variety of fields.

Although committees have a wide range of missions and values, it is undeniable that they expose members to a variety of subjects and activities where fundamental life skills like critical thinking, teamwork, leadership, and networking are acquired. 

Danyal is a fourth-year criminology and business student at Simon Fraser University with a keen approach to business lawyering, authoring articles about various topics including self-development, education and conflicts.

Lessons I’ve Learned From Long Distance Relationships

Lauren O’Malley (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

When I pictured my future relationships as a single person, I never thought I would be in a long-distance relationship. As it turned out, I have had multiple periods of being away from my partner. The furthest distance I have been away from my partner was from Canada to Central America. During the pandemic, I was working as a registered nurse in COVID-19 intensive care units. My partner had gone down to build our vacation home in Nicaragua. I would have liked to have visited, but it was best to stay put in Toronto, as there was such a need for ICU nurses at that critical time. Initially, the time apart was supposed to be three months, but our time apart ended up being five months. Almost half a year! This time apart had challenging moments, but allowed us to grow as a couple in a way we would have never done before. We learned many lessons, but the top three things we learned the most were being patient when communicating, trusting each other and actively listening to each other. 

In long-distance relationships, you need to put more effort forward when communicating. However you’re communicating, via phone, video or texting, the action must be equal to be productive. When you are apart from someone, you are living your separate lives, so making the time to communicate takes a lot more patience. Sometimes one of us wanted to speak with the other, but the other couldn’t. Emotions sometimes took over in these moments. It would be frustrating when you needed to talk and they weren’t available. We learned how to be more patient with one another and not let our emotions spill into how we set the tone of our conversations. If we introduce a conversation with specific tones, that can become the focus, versus the actual conversation. When you’re not in the physical presence of someone, you can’t read their body language or always understand the scenario they are in. Having patience until we found the time to talk helped us have productive conversations when we were apart. 

As much as we needed patience in specific times when we could not communicate, trust was equally as important. Life can be unpredictable. Sometimes our days don’t always go as planned. My partner’s days had many more hiccups than mine. Power outages are much more common in Nicaragua, and they disrupt wifi connections. If he was unavailable for a FaceTime date, I had to trust that something came up or there was a good reason for him not answering. We can’t always be in the same place as our partners, even in regular relationships. Trust always has to be present for relationships to work. But with long-distance, your trust in another has to be strong, because you are not seeing them at the end of your days and getting that physical connection and validation. You have to have trust and have confidence that the other person has your best interests in mind, even when you can’t see it or hear it.

Actively listening was another big lesson that we learned when we were apart. I sometimes struggled to listen actively to my partner when we communicated our experiences. I was in winter lockdowns, with vaccine mandates, while he was in a hot, third-world country where the pandemic looked utterly different. It was quite a time to be apart in such different worlds. We learned to actively listen to each other to understand each other’s separate lives. When either of us made assumptions or interrupted, the other felt frustrated, as we felt misunderstood. In relationships, we need our partners to understand us, not to necessarily agree, but to have our points of view acknowledged. We learned to make an effort to listen actively, which helped us understand each other’s daily life better, allowing us to be supportive of one another even when we were so far away. 

Being in a long-distance relationship forced my partner and I to learn to communicate better than before. We had a decent communication foundation, but our time apart revealed what needed work. We learned how to fine-tune our skills to support each other daily. The distance would have been much more difficult if we were unwilling to put the effort in. Understanding how to support each other through listening, patience, and trust was the critical foundation to keeping the relationship strong when apart. The distance taught us much about each other and gave us the tools for stronger communication today, when apart and when together. 

Lauren O’Malley was born in St. Catharines, Ontario, and moved to Toronto in her mid-twenties, where she works as a critical care registered nurse. Lauren loves her RN job, but aspires to educate and help people in other ways. Writing is one of them. Lauren values time with her family and friends, and loves to chase sunsets.

Love Across the Miles: Three Secrets to a Successful Long-Distance Relationship

Nour Nazmi, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

Long-distance relationships can be a rollercoaster of difficult-to-understand emotions—from the misunderstandings that happen because of the tools you use to communicate to the loneliness of missing your partner. But don’t let the challenges overwhelm you—you can make your long-distance relationship thrive with the right strategies and mindset. 

 

In this article, we’ll discuss three tips to help you navigate the ups and downs of a long-distance relationship so you can build a healthy and lasting bond with your partner without worrying about whether your story will be like all those unsuccessful love stories. 

 

Tip #1: Communication is Key

 

Communication is the foundation of any successful relationship—and it’s even more vital in long-distance relationships, where the lack of physical proximity can lead to feelings of loneliness and misunderstanding. Here are a few suggestions to help you become a better communicator: 

  • Practice active listening: Active listening involves paying attention to what the other person says and responding to show you understand and care by avoiding distractions, asking thoughtful questions, and summarizing what you’ve heard to ensure you’ve understood it correctly. 

 

  • Be clear and concise: Instead of complex language that often leads to confusion and misunderstandings, use simple language, avoid jargon or technical terms, and get to the point quickly.

 

  • Show empathy: Empathy involves putting yourself in the other person’s shoes and understanding their perspective. It’s a well-known aspect of emotional intelligence that allows you to connect on deeper levels and navigate conflicts more effectively.

 

  • Use non-verbal cues: Non-verbal cues, such as body language, facial expressions, gestures, and tone of voice, can convey information about how you’re feeling and what you’re trying to communicate. These cues not only help to clarify or reinforce the meaning of spoken words but also help to regulate the flow of the conversation. 

 

Tip #2: Set Expectations and Boundaries

 

Setting expectations and boundaries early on in a long-distance relationship can be the difference between a failed relationship and a successful one. Here are a few suggestions to help you navigate this area: 

  • Establish communication expectations: Establishing communication expectations often involves discussing how often you will communicate, what methods of communication you will use, and how you will handle miscommunications or conflicts. Setting clear communication expectations will help you and your partner feel connected and supported despite the distance.

  • Ask insightful and revealing questions: Asking questions helps couples stay connected and build intimacy and trust. These questions may include the following: What are your values? What are your future plans? What’s your communication style and level of commitment? What are you not willing to compromise on? What are you comfortable giving? What do you hope to gain? 

  • Discuss personal space and time boundaries: In any relationship, setting boundaries around personal space and time is crucial, but it’s especially essential in a long-distance one. One effective way to do this is to set aside designated times for alone time or self-care, during which both partners agree not to contact each other. By respecting each other’s boundaries, you can reduce stress, foster trust and mutual respect, and ensure you and your partner feel valued and supported

 

Tip # 3 Be Creative and Stay Positive

 

By staying creative and positive, you can keep the relationship fresh and help build a strong foundation for your future together. Here are three ways to stay creative and positive when your partner lives miles away:

  • Pursue individual hobbies or interests: Just because you’re in a long-distance relationship doesn’t mean you have to put your life on hold. Pursue your own hobbies and interests, and encourage your partner to do the same. When you learn something new from these activities, you can use your new insights to keep your conversations meaningful and full of life. 

  • Practice gratitude and positive thinking: It’s easy to get bogged down in negative thoughts when you’re in a long-distance relationship—but practicing gratitude and positive thinking can help you stay optimistic and focused on the good things in your life. Take time each day to reflect on what you’re grateful for, reframe negative thoughts into positive ones, practice positive self-talk, and surround yourself with positive people. The beauty of gratitude and positive thinking is that they don’t cost a thing, and you can expect to see positive results in no time.

  • Volunteer or give back: Helping others can be a great way to cultivate a sense of gratitude and positivity. Consider volunteering your time or resources to a cause you care about, or do something kind for someone else. By giving back, you can shift your focus away from negative thoughts and towards the positive impact you can have on others.

 

Resources for Long-Distance Relationships

 

If you’re struggling with your long-distance relationship, you don’t need to struggle alone. There are many resources out there that can help you gain more clarity. Here are some free online support groups and services you can access:

 

Loving from a Distance: A website dedicated to helping people in long-distance relationships. They offer advice, tips, and a supportive community of fellow people who are in a long-distance relationship.

LDR Magazine: They offer free e-books with ideas for fun webcam dates, conversation starters.
 

The Distance: A podcast dedicated to sharing stories from couples who have successfully navigated long-distance relationships. The host offers practical advice and inspiration to help you keep moving forward. 

 

Whether you’re just starting a long-distance relationship or you’ve been in one for a while, these tips can help you stay connected with your romantic partner. Remember to prioritize communication, trust, and support—and don’t forget to have fun along the way. 

 

We’d love to hear your thoughts and additional tips! Share your experiences and insights in the comments below to help others in similar situations. Let’s support each other in building strong, healthy long distance relationships!

Nour Nazmi is a Toronto-based writer, editor and purpose-driven communications professional. When she is not at work or volunteering, she’s either on LinkedIn Learning or creating new products for DM Tees Designs, her eco-friendly business on Etsy.

Debating and Self-Development

Danyal Hakakzargar, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

Debates can be used in a variety of settings, such as discussions, disputes or everyday situations, while debating is a useful skill mastered throughout life. There is always room for development regardless of the exposure, even while some law students, like myself, learn to debate through applications and experience in case studies, legal themes, or research. 

  • Contrasting Viewpoints

All debates require opposing points of view, and the first step in developing your argument is realizing that at least one, if not many, of the other participants, will disagree with it. As the key problem is rephrasing your arguments utilizing other arguments offered, debaters should never underestimate their opponents or put their arguments in a winning position before the debate.

  • Strong, Well-Defined Arguments

The most difficult aspect of the debate is often introducing your perspective because an ambiguous perspective will damage your case from the start and perhaps put you on the defensive. By adopting a defensive posture, you offer your opponents a significant advantage in the discussion and make it difficult to objectively evaluate their arguments, let alone persuade the audience.

  • Perspectives Over Opponents

In a discussion, all participants are presented with the same information and issues; as a result, it is critical to recognize and minimize personal prejudice, including bias toward your opponents. It is crucial to understand that you can only refute the opponent’s argument, including its generalizability and validity. Debaters must be aware of the limited amount of control they have during the debate, therefore they must make the most use of the resources at their disposal.

  • Active Listening and Elucidation

One of the primary components of debates is rebuttals, and active listening is the most crucial ability. Strong debaters isolate the key aspects of the arguments and respond with logic and facts, demonstrating tenacity, knowledge, and recognition. Therefore, rebutting your opponents based on a wrongful assumption undermines your argument and questions your active listening skills.

  • Data and Research

Debaters should use statistics and research to back up their claims, and they should also push for supporting evidence from the other side. Debaters must prepare findings, analysis, and supporting evidence for every debate, and they should plan to have the accuracy, generalizability, and credibility of their data verified.

  • Rephrase with Reason

While it is easy to give in to the pressure of arguments made by the opposition, strong debaters rephrase or restructure their arguments using the reasoning put forward while remaining steadfast in their perspective.

  • Rebuttal Through Critical Thinking

Debaters frequently lose debates while having outstanding research and material available because they base their arguments on emotions and interpretations, thus placing themselves in the position of criticism. Debaters must remain on topic and exercise critical thinking to create compelling and well-defined rebuttals, reducing the possibility of having their arguments factually challenged.

  • Confidence and Charisma

One should have faith in their capabilities and continually strive to acquire new skills, maintaining confidence in personal development. Debaters get the ability to retain their composure under pressure and persuade opposing debaters of their persistence. Although logical arguments are frequently the most convincing, a confident debater inspires trust, conviction, and charisma in the audience, increasing the likelihood of support.

  • Learning and Productivity

Debaters should learn from each other’s arguments and knowledge of the topic during the debate. While competition can be exciting and thrilling, it is important to value learning and having a good time while engaging in productive and healthy debates.

  • Room for Improvement

Debates are fantastic opportunities for growth, similar to practically any situation in life, and their primary goal is to introduce debaters to a difficult topic where they can develop logical arguments. By taking notes and keeping in mind the key elements of other successful debaters, you can challenge yourself to learn and grow every day. 

While debate in a work or academic setting is slightly different from situations in daily life, it offers beneficial opportunities for personal growth. My experience debating has inspired skills including confidence, active listening, critical thinking, and being open to development. These skills can be employed in a variety of real-world situations, such as presentations, interviews, and contract negotiations.

Danyal is a fourth-year criminology and business student at Simon Fraser University with a keen approach to business lawyering, authoring articles about various topics including self-development, education and conflicts.

Healing: Remember to continue on the right path

Ignacia Riquelme, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

In our world, suffering is normalized, like it’s something that everyone should live and face. The negative actions of human beings become something mediatic. They become the main thing we hear during our day thanks to the media, and this can make us lose faith. As a result, living a positive life is sometimes seen as false because it does not seem possible for a human being to live in peace and be genuinely happy with the horrors mentioned daily.

This is why, when it becomes unbearable to keep living in these negative conditions and you choose to begin your healing journey by changing the way that you see your reality, some days you are probably going to feel worse than before, and your world is not always going to feel safe anymore.

The things that trigger you will be more present in your life. They are probably going to be waiting for you around the corner because now you need to face them. This is why we need to understand that, when we begin this journey, it is going to have different ups and downs. The process to heal and connect with your inner peace isn’t a straight line. The human being is a being of habit, and as soon as its brain notices something different from what they are used to (even when it is positive for the person), it sends signals to the rest of the body to keep it alert.

If there is one thing we can all agree on, it is that healing is uncomfortable and can often feel more exhausting than the lifestyle we led before. And this is where self-sabotage can come in. For example, if you are someone who uses meditation to heal, your mind may have wandered in the beginning, or you may have even noticed strange sensations in your body. It’s ok, it’s normal, the body is not used to new changes, and when it feels uncomfortable, it wants to go back to its comfort zone. I lived that too. When I started my journey, my body and my mind had forgotten what it felt like to be tired. The first time I felt myself yawning during the day it scared me. I thought there was something wrong with me, but the truth is that there wasn’t. Over time, I had to teach my body and mind that it was normal to feel tired, that it was healthy to rest, and that you don’t need to be on your toes 24 hours a day. Getting used to a new version of yourself takes time, but it’s worth it.

At the end of the day, healing isn’t just letting go of the old habits and patterns that led us to the life we lived, and it’s not just getting out of your comfort zone and trying new things, it’s building the life you truly deserve to live. It’s creating the circumstances that you think are right for the best version of your being to come out and shine in the world. And no matter how much turbulence you have to face, at the end of the day, you know that everything will work out because you have yourself, and there is nothing more comforting than that.

There’s good in saying goodbye.

There’s good in giving yourself the time to find peace. 

There’s good in letting go and being yourself.

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How to Trust the Process

Atakan Eligüzel  (he/him/his), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

Many of us fear that something out of our control could happen and ruin our day. When we decide to take a walk, we might fear that it might start raining. We might want to avoid working in groups, thinking a team member will ruin our project. The frustration and the feeling of “I knew what was going to happen” can reinforce these thoughts. Here are several points to consider when you have doubts about the future of your plans and life.

Understand the decision-making process

In childhood, parents or caregivers make decisions for us. We generally have little to no impact on when and how much we eat or sleep, other than crying. As we grow up, people usually expect us to take on more responsibilities. On the other hand, they may want to assure our well-being, and involve themselves in our decision-making process. Poor communication might result in conflicts, reinforcing uncollaborative behavior. I remember the first time I became overweight and the resentment I felt toward my grandma, whom I blame for constantly pushing me to eat more.

In our careers, we often have to collaborate with others to complete tasks. We might see others trying to push their responsibilities onto us while they give little to no effort at all. We could learn from this that trusting others can result in sketchy results and frustration. We internalize that factors not in our control can ruin our best efforts.

We make a lot of decisions throughout our lives. Sometimes, we might rely on emotions rather than logic. We might have difficulties understanding how our emotions influence our decisions, which might make it hard to comprehend how we make some of them.

In these situations, take a step back and think about the initial problem. It is usually better to take constructive steps instead of blaming others or yourself. Even if your solution doesn’t work, you will at least know the root cause and be able to take further action if needed.

You are not the best predictor when it comes to the future

We tend to overlook things when we try to predict what is going to happen. If we have recently experienced negative emotions, we tend to be pessimistic about the future. We tend to consider the opinions and experiences of others more than we would like to admit, especially those of close relatives and friends. Just because your uncle could not learn Spanish doesn’t mean you cannot. When evaluating evidence, I suggest you investigate further into specific cases. Did your uncle really pay attention in his Spanish classes? How much time and effort did he actually invest in it, and how much are you willing to? Answering these questions can help you understand the process behind your decision.

Hope for the best and prepare for the worst

There is a very good reason why many cultures of the world praise being vigilant while staying hopeful in ambiguous situations. When we are hopeful, our expectations rise higher and higher. If we fail to meet our expectations, we often feel more frustrated and hopeless. Our false hope and expectations amplify our pain, but we still feel like we need to be hopeful. Our motivation comes from the desire to obtain a positive result at the end, which is often not in our control.

When we plan to go out on a date with someone, we often expect to go into a relationship further. But when we realize that the other party is not interested, things might start to crumble around us. We might feel like we are not enough and resentful. But if we acknowledge that a negative outcome is possible, we would find it easier to accept negative results.

Let people show their skills

Collaborating with others can be trickier than many would like to admit. There are specific challenges to teamwork. Firstly, we need to stay coordinated and in contact with other members. We also need to accept that our ideas might not shape the end product, and we need to be open to working in accordance with the ideas of others. This can be hard, as the final work might not look as we’d hoped .

Especially when we doubt our group members’ skills, we might try to control everything they do. I remember when I had to write an article in a group of four people. I felt uncomfortable with my group members’ pieces, so I rewrote a big chunk of their texts and added new parts. After they saw that I had rewritten their pieces, they stopped working on the project, and I ended up doing most of the work.

We need to give space to our team members to let them show their skills. Just because we might have had disappointing experiences working in groups doesn’t mean every group will be the same. Almost all people have something valuable to give to a project, and letting them take the initiative is a perfect way to discover how they can help.

Conclusion

Accepting that we are not in control of everything and that negative results can occur outside our control is key to success. People like to work with those who accept that they cannot control every aspect of their lives and adjust themselves accordingly.

Atakan Eligüzel is a writer who enjoys sharing his opinions and perspectives on various subjects and issues. He was born and has spent most of his life in Istanbul, and enjoys the privilege of knowing people from different backgrounds, who often have diverse perspectives.