Tag: InspirationalThoughts

Ordinary Everydays

Posted on by andrew

Cecilia Watt (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

It’s easy to find hope and inspiration in big things, isn’t it? This year, Canada watched snowboarder Max Parrot win gold and bronze at the Olympics, and while that was inspiring in itself, the inspiration was increased tenfold by the fact that he accomplished this only a few years after being diagnosed with cancer. Big moments of inspiration like this are wonderful and necessary for the human spirit, but they often make our own lives feel small, ordinary and lacking. Add in the listlessness that came with the pandemic and you can’t help but ask yourself, “What could be so inspiring about my normal, everyday life?” I think that you can find hope in the goodness in the world and the inspiration to be a part of it as a part of an “ordinary” everyday life. If the past few years have taught me anything, it’s that the chance to live ordinary things is the most extraordinary chance we’re given.

 

In 2020, I graduated university during the first wave of the pandemic. There was no ceremony at school, so my friends and I made our own before we had to separate in March. With paper diplomas, graduation music played on YouTube, dresses, heels and four years’ worth of tears, we went our separate ways, not knowing when we’d see each other again. I had lost my dad three months before, and would lose my grandma to COVID-19 one month after the day of our goodbye ceremony. The grief of my loved ones, my former life and who I used to be consumed me, and after months of numbness, I decided to be consumed by something else: a job at a domestic violence shelter.

 

In the year I worked there I found inspiration from people living everyday lives, in spite of experiencing the worst the world had to offer. I laughed — really laughed — with the women I met, so hard that it hurt my stomach. They teased me when I (allegedly) couldn’t whisk an egg properly in the kitchen. We celebrated every holiday together, and we celebrated not having the energy to participate in holidays together too. I helped a client beat a level of Fishdom every day when I had a minute, and another client taught me about Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch (who knew he and Mark Wahlberg were one and the same?). One taught me about diamond art, and another gave me her colouring pages when she was done with them, as a gift. They brought me back to life simply by allowing me to be a part of their ordinary lives. Of course, there were many moments of pain and hopelessness. Those moments reinforced to me how lucky we were to live the good ones together.

 

I went sledding with the children of the shelter one snowy day, and I can safely say that it was one of the best days of all our lives. These kids had lived through the unspeakable, and all of us staff who went with them were weighed down by that knowledge and our own lives. But that day? That day, they just got to be kids — and so did we. We crashed in the snow, flew off our sleds and raced each other, and not a single one of us wanted to leave. Another ordinary day, another extraordinary moment.

 

I’ve been told by family, friends, coworkers and acquaintances that the way I handled my grief was an inspiration to them. I’m still not sure how I feel about that: all I did was my best, and it usually felt like my worst. The reason I could do my best is because of the peace and hope I found in the daily things that we’re taught aren’t noteworthy.

 

In the fall of 2021 I moved to Vancouver, reuniting with three of those friends with whom I had “graduated” on their rickety, student house staircase. I decided it was time to leave my hometown and try something new, before going back into the grad school fray the following year. Cue immediate existential crisis. I wasn’t in school, and was now unemployed in a new city, taking a break from the social service work that had made me feel so useful. It left me in that strange limbo of grief where you feel like people think you should be doing better than you actually are. For the first time in years, my life was only made of little things, with no big, earth-shattering ones in sight. I felt useless and so deeply ordinary, like a secondary character in my own life. Then, I found my new favourite café. I made very poorly designed clay mugs with my roommates at an art studio. I found a therapist I really connected with and kept in touch with my friends. I kept falling more in love with the best person I’ve ever met, every day. We made paper snowflakes to decorate for Christmas and watched The Bachelorette every week. I continued to contribute to the lives of others and my own, and I remembered that the pause we take between words is just as important as what we’re saying.

 

We will forever need those big moments of hope and inspiration. What I want you to know is that those big moments are always tied together by ordinary everydays, the same ones that you and I live. Max Parrot’s medal is made even more golden by all the little moments of hope that I’m sure he found in his ordinary days, the ones that gave him the strength to deliver that same hope back to us. So go about your ordinary day in any way that brings you peace, and remember how special that is. After all, isn’t finding a moment of peace in a world so loud and blinding the most extraordinary thing of all?

 

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Cecilia Watt is a recent university graduate taking a few years off before grad school to focus on all the little joys in life, such as chai lattes, good books and listening to music while going for walks. 

From Another Street

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Julia Magsombol (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Please note that this article discusses suicide and suicidal ideation.

 

I was 10 when I first became afraid of the conversation around death. I had known all along what it meant when someone you loved died, but not the idea of losing them. It was a sunny afternoon in Manila, and the only thing that made the weather somewhat balanced was the breezy air that plunged into our sweat. I was on the patio with my grandmother and our house cleaner.

 

The town where I came from was small, so gossip was like dust, it was everywhere. Gossip and conversations could be heard from here to there. It didn’t matter where you were. You’d just hear things. 

 

“Oh Cely, you wouldn’t believe what I just heard!” our house cleaner muttered. 

 

“What is it, Muray?” 

 

“A man killed himself in his house just last week!” 

 

“Jesus Christ! Where is he from?” 

 

“I don’t know, but he’s from another street!” 

 

“Tsk, tsk!” 

 

“His fiancé left him for another man. I guess he couldn’t take it anymore!” 

 

“What a poor man. God bless him.” 

 

“He hanged himself just under the loft bed! I guess he wanted to die fast.” 

 

“That is brutal! Did anyone come to check up on him?” 

 

“No one. His body was decaying when people recovered it. His family is not in Manila, and he was all alone for years — well, aside from his ex-fiancé.” 

 

“Poor man. What a lonely death. No wonder he killed himself.” 

 

The conversation goes on and on. It terrifies me to hear such a thing. 

 

I never understood what the guy was feeling, but for a second, I thought he could’ve just gone far away and travelled to different countries to feel better about the break-up. As I got older, I realized that even if he had escaped the place he was in, he’d still have been miserable. At that moment, he had lost the love of his life, and perhaps himself — and how could he move on from that situation? He’d be dead either way. 

 

But his ending might have been a little different if he had someone besides his fiancé. If someone would have been there during his darkest times, he might not have killed himself. I can’t really know what ending he would’ve had. Well, truthfully, we all die at the end, that’s all of our endings.

 

But I know things could’ve been better if someone had knocked on his door and asked how he was — if someone had eaten with him and talked to him. 

 

It could’ve been better if he had the chance to realize that he wanted to live longer, maybe for himself. It could’ve been better if he’d had someone. At least, there would have been a greater chance that he would live longer and die peacefully. 

 

What’s tiresome in this world is how we build walls within ourselves instead of a bridge when we are drowning in our darkest times. We build walls around ourselves and we don’t let anyone enter. And others don’t want to reach out because of the walls that they have built as well. We end up being alone and hurting during our difficult moments. 

 

And so I’ve finally grasped it: we don’t need a lot of things to hold on to during our difficulties. We just need someone. 

 

I never knew the name of the man, nor what he looked like. I don’t even remember what street he was living on or what address he had. All I remember is that he was a man from another street who killed himself. 

 

The next morning, everybody went on with their everyday lives. Gossip kept flowing. It seemed like the guy from another street never even existed. 

 

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Julia Magsombol is currently a journalism student from Edmonton, Canada, who desires to bring hope to people through her writing. When not writing or reading, you can catch her sewing clothes, painting nature and drinking instant coffee.

Building Optimism from Negative Experiences

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Sasna Nawran, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

As human beings, we face numerous challenges and negative experiences in our day-to-day lives such as relationship struggles, loss of a loved one, financial crises, and many more. We go through a range of emotions. At times when everything goes wrong, we lose hope and we tend to view our life as a failure. Yeah, it’s normal to experience these negative thoughts and emotions during hard times but prolonged negativity can be harmful. It can inhibit us from reaching our goals and it can hinder our happiness. Therefore, it is important to know how to be optimistic while we go through bad phases in our lives.

What does it mean to be optimistic?

Most of the time we misunderstand what optimism is. We think optimism is ignoring our emotions or the negative situation and focusing only on the good things in life. But it’s not that. It is simply the attitude of hope and positivity. It is accepting the bad situation we are in and hoping for the best in the future. Research shows that optimism can affect our physical and mental wellbeing along with our everyday activities. By learning to cope with negative experiences effectively and by practicing optimism, we can transform our lives.

Here are some tips that I find useful to keep me optimistic while going through negative experiences.

  • Acknowledge and accept the situation.

When you are in a bad situation it’s normal to experience negative emotions. Acknowledge your feelings rather than ignore them to convince yourself that you are fine. Instead, give yourself a pep talk. You may have faced numerous obstacles in the past that you have now overcome. So believe that this is another one of those challenges that you can face and it will pass like all the others. No situation is permanent.

If the bad experience you are facing is due to a wrong choice or a mistake that you have made, then do not be too harsh and judgmental of yourself. If you have made a mistake, make peace with it, forgive yourself and try to avoid doing it in the future. Remind yourself, everyone makes mistakes and it is how we learn.

You can also talk about your feelings honestly with a close friend or write them in a journal. Even involving yourself in a physical activity that you like such as running, yoga, or simply a walk outside while enjoying the cool breeze will help you to eliminate the negativity and make you feel better.

  • Practice mindfulness

While going through a negative experience, it is natural that you overthink and imagine the worst scenarios that could happen in the future. Practicing mindfulness will help you avoid this. Mindfulness is being in the present moment rather than overthinking about the future. 

I found a useful technique to practice mindfulness. It is W.I.N. which stands for What is Important Now? When you have a negative experience and start to obsess about the uncertain future, ask yourself “What is important right now?” and bring your thoughts back to the present. Determine what is most essential to you at this time and in these circumstances. Make it your primary goal for the day. Practice this technique every day and eventually, your thoughts will be focused on the present.

  • Practice gratitude

No matter how bad the situation you are in, there will always be positive things that we don’t notice as we are focused on the negativity only. Try to think of three positive things at a time. Ask yourself, “What good things happened today?” It could be simple things like having a good meal or completing a simple task that you have planned. When you do this daily you start to notice, appreciate and be grateful for the good things around you. This will build positivity and eventually you will see a huge change in your life. This is a technique that has helped me immensely in  becoming an optimist.

  • Determine the things that are out of your control

You are not in control of everything. Some situations are beyond your authority. For example, during this pandemic some of you may have lost your jobs or some of your plans may not  have gone as expected, but the pandemic is something that is out of our control. Remember you have the option of either allowing these unfavorable situations to pull you down or embracing them and rising above them. 

We all prefer to face positive experiences and avoid negative ones. But a world without challenges or hardships is unrealistic. Therefore, learning to cope with the negative experiences effectively is the best possible way to lead a happier and healthier life.

 

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Leave your thoughts for Sasna in the comments below — better yet, start up a dialogue with the Low Entropy community in person at a Conscious Connections meeting or online at our community site. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and YouTube to stay up-to-date with Low Entropy news!

New Dreams, New Me

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Olivia Callari (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

It was September 2021 and I was getting ready for another day at work. Summer was ending, and I was at a three-lane crossroads with myself. I had just taken a semester off from university, abandoned my five-year career goal of becoming a real estate agent and was mourning the end of a three-year relationship. I remember getting up that morning feeling more sluggish than usual, with an overwhelming feeling of anxiety and a racing mind that could lead a NASCAR race. It was the first day I admitted to myself that I had absolutely no sense of direction, the first day where I questioned my purpose on this earth. I never believed when people said that life can change in the blink of an eye, until it did. It wasn’t the type of change that was visible, which can be equally overwhelming, but the kind of change that makes you look at everything you built and question whether you really want it. 

 

When I was younger, I was a performer. I sang, I danced, I acted, I created art and music. My dream was to become a famous actor and prove to myself that what I was performing would make a successful career one day. I always knew there was more out there for me than a conventional profession, one that was more easily attainable than pursuing an artistic career with a lot of success. The hopes and dreams that I had when I was a kid had left me once I reached high school, the crowds I was surrounding myself with did not believe that the life I had wanted for myself was “realistic,” and it was a very judgemental environment. I quickly conformed to their standards and settled on the idea that I would be a top-selling real estate agent, and that was all for me. Of course, this career path is far from settling, but it never felt truly fulfilling for me. Years and years of conditioning my reality to fit that goal also brought so much time where I was not in tune with my creativity, nor with the dream I had as a child. I lost my passion for the arts, and I lost my ability to let life happen for me instead of to me. 

 

Since that September moment only a mere six months ago, I transformed into someone I never thought I would be. I did not think it was possible, until it was, and then everything outside and inside me turned. The epiphany of that morning sparked a need for change, and then some. My entire inner world was asking me to follow a path I had not chosen, as it was reappearing with a lot of appeal. I decided to fall back into the arts and deemed it a risk, but I had nothing to lose. I applied to acting schools and began monologuing in my free time. I became consumed by creativity and looked at the things around me, and with each day, I allowed the things that didn’t serve my new purpose to dissipate. My hopes and dreams had changed within such a short amount of time, and with that change I was starting to feel totally different. I was learning a lot more about myself and what I wanted, and the people around me couldn’t understand why I was different all of a sudden. There was so much that was new to me that I couldn’t possibly continue to carry all of the old ways of doing things, which shocked others and myself. 

 

In this moment, I sit here, writing about how the change of my hopes and dreams brought a change in myself, and think about the person I once was. I do not know her, I can only remember what she was like, but she is no longer me. Of course I mourned her, but I know that she helped me get to where I am today. Change is constant, it’s only obvious when you are called to it. The need to fulfil a new purpose meant altering what didn’t fit it. 

 

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Olivia is a film and television certificate student at NYU Tisch and a recent graduate from Dawson College in cinema and communications. Having grown up in Montreal, Quebec, Olivia has surrounded herself with different cultures and means of creative expression, with hopes to one day incorporate it into her film and television work. Through writing and other forms of artistic expression, Olivia has a natural desire to help others overcome their inhibitions and reach their fullest potential.