Tag: Comfort

Lines in the Sand

Posted on by andrew

Kanak Khatri, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Have you ever thought, “That was too much. It was unfair, toxic and just not something that I deserved?”

 

I have felt the same. The 28-year-old me really wants to go back in time and help the 12-year-old, 13-year-old and so many other past versions of me draw boundaries and stand up for themselves, because they did not know any better.

 

Now that I know how important setting boundaries is, I want to spread the message. However, I really want to go back in time and gauge why I was having difficulty. Well, the reasons were simple: I was not educated by my teachers or parents, nor was I confident and mature enough to develop that kind of wisdom on my own. I was taught, and thought, this is how it is, I guess I must suffer. And so there I was, in a repetitive cycle of lacking the confidence to keep people from pushing my limits, which in turn further deteriorated my confidence.

 

For people who find this whole scenario a little too familiar, it’s time to set those boundaries straight and strong, such that people become afraid of even being tempted to put your limits to the test. Initially, it might seem like an impossible task, but it might help to start by saying no to the people who seem to take advantage of you, are toxic to you or are bullying you.

 

For instance, say no to that person who only remembers you when they need a favour. And that person who tells you are not good enough, tell them that you are good enough, for yourself and for the people who love you. Slowly but surely you all will find yourself surrounded by healthy boundaries. For me, my manager does not bother me unnecessarily, because well, she got an answer when she did. People think twice before messing with me. My mother, to date, tells me to not get into arguments even for the right reasons, but I guess I grew out of the beliefs that were ingrained in me as a child.

 

Please, please and please, teachers and parents, inculcate healthy boundaries in young minds from the start. Help them be more confident and realise their full potential. And to anyone reading this who does not struggle with boundaries, please be kind. Let’s build a world where we empower each other.

 

To my warriors out there, defend your boundaries, make people scared to mess with you. You don’t owe your life to anybody else. You owe it to yourself to keep yourself happy and healthy by setting happy, healthy boundaries: you can do it.

 

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Leave your thoughts for Kanak in the comments below — better yet, start up a dialogue with the Low Entropy community in person at a Conscious Connections meeting or online at our community site. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and YouTube to stay up-to-date with Low Entropy news!

There for a Reason

Posted on by andrew

Elizabeth Atkinson, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

There is so much pressure to succeed and make use of every hour of the day – but at what cost? 

 

Living as a young disabled person, knowing my limits has become a survival technique. With fibromyalgia, overexertion can cause flare-ups that can be detrimental and throw a wrench into future plans. It is not always easy to stay true to your limits. There can be a lot of pressure to physically keep up with your able-bodied friends and family. This can be something as simple as walking at a pace you are not comfortable with, just to keep up with your friends who don’t need to worry about conserving their energy on a short walk. Feeling safe emotionally by being able to voice these limits is key. The people around you will understand, and hopefully accommodate the limits you have set for yourself. 

 

However, it is not just disabled people who need to know their limits. It seems more and more these days people are being praised for “the grind” and while I am a fan of hard work and a strong work ethic, working to the point of exhaustion is just not healthy. People seem to be running on empty, as if their check engine light is on but they aren’t taking the time to look under the hood and find the root of the problem.

 

Limits aren’t just physical. Limits are there for a reason, whether they are physical or emotional. Knowing your emotional limits is key for setting boundaries. Personally, I have had to set limits with my family about them talking to me about my weight. I have had to set that boundary with them as it was causing my mental health to deteriorate and causing a strain on an otherwise absolutely beautiful relationship. By setting this boundary, and knowing my limits with my family, I was able to preserve something amazing. 

 

As previously mentioned, there can be a lot of pressure to forgo your limits in order to make life easier for the people around you. This, however, will not serve you in the long run as you become run-down. Emotionally setting limits and sticking to them is potentially even harder than setting and maintaining physical limits. 

 

In my opinion, pushing your limits is always overrated because limits are there for a reason, and that reason is to protect you. Staying true to your limits is a good way to ensure a happier, less stressful and more energized future for yourself.

 

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Leave your thoughts for Elizabeth in the comments below — better yet, start up a dialogue with the Low Entropy community in person, at a Conscious Connections meeting or online at our community site. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and YouTube to stay up-to-date with Low Entropy news!