Author: andrew

How It All Began

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Fatima Malik (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Just a few years ago, a lot was going wrong in my life. It was a very hopeless, dark time where nothing seemed to align with my happiest self. 

 

At the time, my happiness was dependent or conditional on my environment, the people that surrounded me, the things I had or the lack of things I wanted. Once I realized that happiness could not be conditional on the external, but needed to come from within, my life began to change.

 

It’s not easy to go from being anxious and in a pit of depression to being happy and changing everything around in a day or two. Realistically, it could take months or years, and for me, it took months to rewire my brain to find small moments of happiness, regardless of what was happening in my life.

 

More than anything, I wished for contentment. Not extreme joy or extreme ecstasy – I just wanted to be content with my life. But to go from unhappiness to happiness, there needed to be a drastic lifestyle change.

 

I was conditioned to having my happiness dependent on my external reality, and it was tough for me to step out of that conditioning. So I evolved around it. I began looking at things that were working well or gave me even small amounts of joy, and I concentrated on those more than what was going wrong. Even though the things going wrong were much more significant and had a much bigger impact on me, I managed to find small moments throughout my day that I would capitalize on.

 

For example, if I got a moment of 10 minutes outside, where I could hear the birds, the wind and the trees, I would try and take my shoes off and stand on the grass to connect with Earth (it’s funny, but connecting with a planet felt easier than connecting with other humans). I would consciously feel the existence of joy or bliss or just subtle happiness, and then try to continue that feeling throughout my day.

 

Every day, I began writing down what I was grateful for or things I appreciated in my life (including those 10 minutes I had with the birds and trees). This was followed by what I wished for, which always began with “contentment.”

 

These lists of gratitude and wishes began changing my outlook on life. They gave me the ability to find happiness inside me rather than the external. And that was the first step of my transformation.

 

My lifestyle change began when I went through a journey of self-love, self-respect and self-worth. I had to get rid of a lot of toxicity in the form of people, things, habits, jobs and social media, and rearrange my priorities. My drastic lifestyle change is a whole other topic that I’ll address in another post, but how it began was just by finding small moments to be happy and grateful for.

 

Fast forward to a few years later, and I am content with my life overall. I am happy most of the time and in control of my wellbeing. So now I’m on the other side, and there is some depression and anxiety, but there is no pit that I fall into. It’s all very manageable, and being human, I have my emotional ups and downs, but it is never a dark, hopeless place, and I’m closer to my happiest self than I’ve ever been before.

 

There is, of course, no end or destination to this journey of transformation. It is an ongoing, lifelong process where you and your life just keep getting better and better. It is an adventure I look forward to every day.

 

***

Leave your thoughts for Fatima in the comments below – better yet, start up a dialogue with the Low Entropy community in person, at a Conscious Connections meeting or online at our community site. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and YouTube to stay up-to-date with Low Entropy news!

With Hindsight

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Jihu Lee (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

It is only normal that we cringe at our past selves. As human beings, we are not meant to live with a spotless moral slate, meaning we will never be one hundred percent satisfied with our past choices and actions. Perhaps you wish you could have treated your siblings with more kindness, or you regret saying hurtful things to your friend out of anger. What is considered a wrongdoing to another or to oneself may differ from person to person. But it is important that we master the balance between holding ourselves accountable for past choices and forgiving ourselves for not knowing better at the time. 

 

If you cringe at your old self, it means you have grown, because the acknowledgment of an unsatisfactory choice is key to change. The important step afterward is turning our regret into accountability and action. That way, regret becomes motivation for growth and discipline, rather than a price to pay. The only way to move forward and evolve is to actively work on ourselves, instead of letting our old choices constrain us and convince us that we can’t change, or that it’ll be too difficult to change. 

 

Growth is only possible through setbacks and mistakes. Many people even advocate for the idea that there are no such things as mistakes, but rather turning points for change. If we were to see only perfection in hindsight, that would exclude any possibility for our growth in the future. It is so important that we recognize setbacks as new chapters in our lives, so that we don’t punish ourselves for being imperfect, as if any person is free of flaws. 

 

By forgiving ourselves for choices we wish we could have made differently, we are freeing ourselves from the prison of rumination and guilt. When we are trapped in the past, we miss out on living in the present and lose the opportunity to make a difference for the future. Thus, forgiving ourselves is one of the optimal forms of self-care. I think one misconception regarding self-forgiveness is that, by refusing to punish ourselves, we are avoiding responsibility for our actions. There seems to be this prevailing idea that beating ourselves to the ground is the only acceptable form of repentance. However, self-punishment zooms our attention to the parts we find wrong about ourselves and is ultimately problem-oriented. Forgiveness and grace, on the other hand, accounts for both responsibility and our capacity to grow. 

 

If we can master the knowledge that better versions of ourselves arise from empathy towards our pasts, we can extend a similar understanding to those around us. If someone has hurt us, we could benefit by trusting that they will make amends in the future, whether or not it will directly involve us anymore. That doesn’t mean we have to come to terms with the other person’s actions and the impact they had on us. Forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same. Instead, by simply recognizing that others can have the potential to grow, we detach ourselves from the pain they caused and ultimately keep them from having power over us. 

 

Thus, not surprisingly, the level of respect we garner for ourselves affects the quality of our interpersonal relationships. It can strengthen boundaries and improve the circle of people we allow in our lives. We will also heighten our sense of empathy and become better at apologizing or taking responsibility for our actions. 

 

Be aware that not every action has the same degree of impact, therefore it becomes our responsibility to make amends accordingly. The bottom line is that it is the nature of humanity to see better in hindsight, but we have the power to use the lessons and newfound knowledge to make an impact on our future. On top of it all, kindness towards oneself is highly important in bringing about progress. Like the way a plant can’t grow without light or water, you can’t foster personal growth if you constantly deprive yourself of hope and encouragement. Self-punishment is not the rent you have to pay for being human in this world. So remember that the next time you advocate for kindness towards others, it should include you.

 

—

 

My name is Jihu, and I’m from Salt Lake City, Utah! I have been with Low Entropy since May 2021. Some of the things I love are reading, writing, listening to music, playing with my dogs and spending time with my sister!

The One Habit of Highly Successful People

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Spoiler alert: it’s happiness. Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Christina Liao explains why.

 

Different people measure success in different ways. Harry Styles, a Grammy award-winning singer and former member of the band One Direction, says that “if you’re happy doing what you’re doing, then nobody can tell you you’re not successful.” That is, in a way, true. If one is not happy doing what they’re doing, then they cannot say that they’re successful without lying to themselves to some extent. It does not matter if that person is living in a mansion or a run-down cabin; they will feel success and at ease if they’re happy with the way that their life is going.

 

However, happiness is, in itself, a social construct. The stereotypical, fairy tale image of happiness for a girl is marrying a prince and living in a palace happily ever after. That’s what has been pushed onto young women who consume Disney content for decades, from the original Cinderella movie in 1950 to Tangled, released in 2010. Only in 2014’s Frozen was this narrative shifted. In that story, Anna does not find happiness with a prince, but with an ordinary man living an ordinary life after they ended up forming an unlikely friendship.  

 

On the subject of Disney movies, it seems that they’re seemingly changing what their version of a happy ending is. We see this in Frozen, as mentioned above, and the Pixar movies Inside Out and Coco. The narratives of these kinds of movies are shifting because the views of our society as a whole are changing. A happy ending to young people no longer means marrying into royalty and a kiss to seal the day. A happy ending means different things for different people and cultures, whether it’s one’s family accepting them for who they are or understanding the value of friendship and family. 

 

As history progresses, our society and its values tell you what being successful means. Its definition is constantly shifting: maybe it’s owning a farm that profits, working a high-paying job or having a university degree. However, what really defines “success”? A person like Styles would say that doing what makes you happy means that you’re successful. Someone else might say that becoming a CEO of a highly lucrative company makes you successful. It’s seen differently by different people because, like happiness, success is also a social construct. There is no true definition of “success,” only what people across history have coined it to be. 

 

Happiness, like success, is similar in the way that it has no singular meaning. If a person is content with their life, then they’re happy with it. They would not feel the pull to become more successful if they were already satisfied with their life. There’s no “true” meaning of success because as long as a person is happy with the structure of their life, then they are successful in their own eyes. It’s only one’s own eyes that matter, because they are the author and primary audience of their life. 

 

Everyone deserves success. Everyone deserves happiness. Whatever life throws at somebody, sometimes they forget the simplicity of finding things in their life that makes them happy. At the end of the day, Styles was right in saying that a person is successful if they’re happy with what they’re doing. Success, after all, is a social construct that has no true meaning. Only with happiness is someone successful, so do what makes you happy.

 

What are your paths to success? Let us know in the comments below or on any of our social media platforms!

Life Lessons: Emotions, Acceptance and Experiential Learning

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Ling-Yee Sze, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

I have been, for the most part of my life, a person who is very meticulous about not making any mistakes, not allowing myself to be hurt or punished, or even just trying to ensure that I am spoken of in a respectful manner by other people. I feel a bit underqualified to write about learning from experience, because at this age and time I have found that the predominant strategy I used to learn from upsetting life events – becoming even more hypervigilant about potential triggers and even more avoidant of them – is not serving me these days as an adult who seeks to live more in alignment with my authentic self. 

 

I have a strong need for acceptance and approval. It probably has something to do with my upbringing. I did not live with my mother until the age of five, and when I moved in, I needed to adjust from being a wild, carefree child in a small village to being a socialized child at schools in a new hustling city. It was only a couple of years ago that I found I have the high sensitivity traits defined by Dr. Elaine Aron. Without skillful parenting, highly sensitive children tend not to cope with changes and difficult childhoods well. Now that I think back on it, I processed many things as a child quite deeply and tried to learn every lesson I could to avoid experiencing upsetting emotions. My biggest wish during primary school was to be invisible, but I led a double life and when I returned home to my grandma, I would become the only object of her attention and receive tremendous amount of love and significance from her, who was living in the city without legal documents and barely stepped outside our home. She passed away when I was 14 and I have since tried to seek ways to fill that significance and attention bucket through sources and people other than myself. I have often caught myself ruminating, for instance, about what I had said that might make an auntie dislike me, and how could I correct this the next time. It was never enough. When people do approve of me, I undervalue their approval. The rate at which others filled my approval bucket was way slower than the rate at which the bucket was leaking. 

 

It was only months ago on my self-help journey, when I came across the Personal Development School site, that I realized that trying to correct and avoid every mistake, especially in interpersonal relationships, was actually doing more harm than good for my personal growth and life fulfillment. I thought, as a hypervigilant and detail-oriented individual, that I should catch as many clues and micro-expressions as I could and walk on eggshells to avoid repeating the same mistakes. But when I step back, I observe that my patterns of self-sabotage, violating my own boundaries, and projecting my needs and opinions onto others (stemming from my need to satisfy the standards of my parents and society) have always been there and are repeating themselves, even though my circumstances vary – I was not learning the real lessons from my life events.

 

To be honest, I have little to offer in terms of how to break through old patterns and remove unhelpful emotional and behavioral imprints, but I have some suggestions of approaches that I have found very helpful.

 

The first thing is that if overwhelming emotions arise when we think about a past event, we should try not to judge them or beat ourselves up for not being able to get over them. Many therapists or mindfulness professionals stress that emotions are neutral, and it’s the way we react to our emotions that might be undesirable to others or ourselves. Emotions can even be seen as precious feedback, showing us where in our current life we have some unmet needs or limiting beliefs. Identifying these things is important because we might want to set intentions about working on them.

 

Secondly, accepting that negative past or present events are parts of our stories might be more encouraging than it seems. My counsellor sent me a quote from Brené Brown: “Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.” I pondered this and thought, yes, if I resist changing my reality my life will not improve. My past has dark spots that will exist regardless – I have to hold them closer to my eyes in order to have a chance of painting a different color onto them. There is a difference, in my perception, between pushing the problem out of sight, versus pulling it closer to improve my relationship with the mistake and work on it.

 

Thirdly, I think reducing the practice of blaming others and taking full responsibility for who we want to involve in reparenting our wounded inner child is helpful too. Yes, other people are involved in our wounds, but they are not the key to healing. In fact, it would be another layer of concern if they were, because that means we would not have much control over what values or parenting styles we want to bring in to heal our wounds or reparent our inner child.

 

I believe all of the above things are easier said than done, and I am definitely at a stage of getting better and progressing. One cognitive distortion I often find myself falling prey to is all-or-nothing thinking: because [my past life event], I will never […]. I often need to remind myself that this black-and-white thinking stems from my fears or other emotions, and they are like the clouds – there is always a clear sky in the background, and it coexists with the clouds all the time. I can take a variety of different actions even though I feel the same emotion, and my restrictive belief -> emotion -> action cycles can then be broken.

 

***

 

Hi, my name is Ling-Yee Sze and I am a personal development enthusiast who began a self-help journey four years ago. Along the way, I have met many inspiring people. I hope to share my personal stories and collected learnings with you!

Off the College Track

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Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Sejin Ahn offers a glimpse of the South Korean high school system, and argues for a more flexible approach in our attempts to maximize the potential of young minds.

 

As a Korean who spent 18 years in South Korea, I often saw students having hard times in high school. Being unable to adapt to life in high school often leads many young, beautiful souls to the edge of a cliff. Why does this happen? How can we solve this problem?

 

Every country across the world has its own educational system, and they all place value in different areas. South Korea’s educational system tends to focus too much on academic performance, leaving anything else they should learn at that age behind.

 

A high school is a place that is supposed to provide students with various opportunities to explore themselves. They deserve to learn how to socialize with others and experience many things. But unfortunately, in South Korea, the percentage of students who are admitted to colleges is considered the highest priority. Going to a university is treated as the first gate to winning at life. Otherwise, you will be a loser who failed to pass this basic level of achievement. Due to this social atmosphere, most Korean students feel enormous pressure, increasing undesirable and unhealthy competition between them. This increased competition fails to support students in widening their horizons and gaining new perspectives.

 

I remember when I was a high school student, I got career counseling with teachers. Most high schools in South Korea do this in the name of helping students find out what they are interested in and support their careers. However, all they talked about during the counseling was going to a university. If students said they wanted to have other experiences instead of going to a university, teachers kept pressuring them until they changed their minds.

 

I was no exception. I was a student who had interests in various fields, including photography, writing, composition, etc. The common ground among them was that they were not profitable fields. So when I talked about my dreams and asked teachers for their advice on what I should do, what they said was, “Okay, you can take a photo, write a novel and compose a song, but leave them just as your hobby.”

 

This harsh reality led to some hard times for me. I was confused due to conflicts between what I was interested in and what high school taught. One question came up in my head was, “What should I live for?”

 

Even students who wish to go to college to study a specific field are often not taught by high schools how to shape their future and avoid losing interest and passion. One of my high school friends wanted to declare a major in history at a college, but she was treated like a student who was ignorant of reality by teachers because, compared to other fields, what she wanted to pursue was an area that was not widely recognized by the public and not an easy one in which to make money. Individuals’ strengths, desires, dreams and aspirations always come second.

 

Time spent at high school is critical because it is often when people start forming their self-identities and preparing to step forward to the broader world as a grown member of society. In this sense, the absence of diverse options makes many people confused about who they really are and the direction they should be heading.

 

Not every student can be treated the same way. Not having excellent academic performance does not mean you are a problematic person. Not going to college does not mean you are a loser. Choosing your passion and interests does not mean your life is going to be miserable. High school is just the beginning of your life, which consists of thousands of chapters you can fill in by yourself. As institutions that take care of teens standing just right in front of the door to the world, high schools need to let students know that there are various ways of living a life, rather than showing only limited options.

 

If you’re in high school, what are your hopes and dreams? And if you’re not, what kind of advice would you give your high school self? Let us know in the comments below, or on any of our social media channels!

The Scars We Bear

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Jihu Lee (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

The perfect condition doesn’t exist. Or does it? As humans, we seem to have a perpetual desire to fix things back to normalcy or perfection. If we’re sick, we nurse ourselves back to health. If we break an object, we try to mend it. Even at an intangible emotional level, we strive for happiness as the benchmark of our feelings, while turning away from those we label as “bad.” 

 

I want to frame this article around Abigail Johnson’s If I Fix You. This fictional young-adult book is centered on the protagonist Jill and her passion for automotive mechanics and fixing cars. Jill and her father have a loving bond while she and her mother have a dysfunctional relationship. Throughout the book, we also explore Jill’s connection with her new neighbor Daniel, who harbors a history with an abusive father and a broken relationship with his own mother. 

 

Jill’s love for fixing cars that arrive at her dad’s auto shop serves as a brilliant metaphor that fits the story’s theme of recovering “broken” lives and relationships. We often see Jill think in terms of fixing something or someone to normal, as she does with defective cars. She first meets Daniel after overhearing an intense altercation between him and his mother next door. Shortly after, he leaves in his Jeep and Jill picks up on the grinding noise from his brakes, leading her to decide that “he needed new brake pads … probably not the most important problem in his life, but it was the one I could fix.” Right away, we see Jill’s knack for “fixing the broken” kick in, so she resorts to mending something within her control when the person himself is out of reach. But when they begin spending time together more frequently, Jill starts feeling more inclined to let Daniel lean on her as his only support system. 

 

Although Jill’s relationships with her mom and Daniel’s with his are vastly different, they both lead Jill to ruminate over how to fix the relationship or the people involved. After Jill’s mother leaves the family, Jill constantly tries to eliminate her mother’s traces, both in the house and her heart. It seems she initially felt powerless in taking back her happiness, as she tied it so closely to the scars her mother left behind. With Daniel, Jill latches onto their connection on the basis of having an estranged mother. To me, it seemed like Jill’s efforts in trying to fix what she could in Daniel’s life gave her the illusion of control over her own circumstances, even if she only got as far as fixing his brakes. 

 

Towards the end of the book, Jill puts her foot down and tells her mother she will be happier if they no longer are involved in each other’s lives. She also acknowledges that Daniel’s “world had shrunk to include only his mom and [Jill], and he’d latched onto [Jill] because he needed someone.” At this point, Jill accepts that Daniel’s tragic family dynamics are not her responsibility, despite how much they share in common. The two had reached out to the closest thing they thought might save them, but ultimately learned that they cannot use each other to heal. To follow Low Entropy’s mission of personal growth and empowerment, I think If I Fix You is a spectacular illustration of how we can navigate our own lives when all seems lost or unrecoverable. Healing and recovery are more about how our lives go on, despite changes within us, than it is about trying to return to circumstances before adversity. Jill may not have reconciled with her mother or healed Daniel’s trauma, but she put herself on an alternative path for her own healing journey. At the same time, it’s important to recognize how valid it is for grief to still be involved in letting go. For instance, Jill is on track to heal without her mother in her life while simultaneously grieving the loss of a parent. 

 

To wrap up, let’s look at the metaphor of the car in the idea of healing without the need to strive for perfection. When Jill receives her dream car, the Spitfire, as a gift, she takes it on a drive – only for the engine to fail because she had run it prematurely. In my interpretation, this event was a culmination of the lesson that humans do not live, break or heal as cars do. When the Spitfire broke down, Jill thinks, “I’d killed my dream car, and I didn’t have any more time to fix it again, if that was even possible.” She had also resorted to this pattern of thinking when she faced her relationships with her mother and Daniel. A binary system of “fixed and happy” versus “broken and burdened” clouded her ability to envision alternatives. But we as humans have the power to keep going even when we feel broken. Cars can’t run unless they are in the right shape: they either work or they don’t, but people aren’t like that. The scars we bear – visible or invisible – are a testament to how much we have braved in our lives. They are anything but a sign of defect.

 

We have the power to change and uplift ourselves, even if the world seems to be in denial of our progress. There is so much possibility in how we can shape our lives, and no permanent standard to which we must calibrate in order to grow.

 

—

 

My name is Jihu, and I’m from Salt Lake City, Utah! I have been with Low Entropy since May 2021. Some of the things I love are reading, writing, listening to music, playing with my dogs and spending time with my sister!

Variety Shows

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Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Christina Liao comments today’s diversity of representation in television, books, movies and music, and its significance in creating a more progressive society.

 

As the general population advocates for popular media to become more diverse in its representation, it’s important to understand why these changes are happening. During the summer of 2020, the Black Lives Matter movement took the spotlight after the murder of George Floyd. Since then, minority representation has become more prominent point in shows, movies and literature alike. Even before that, diversity in art was becoming more and more notable. This is a good thing because it is the first step towards accepting people of colour and LGBTQ+ people into our communities.

 

When the popular Fox TV show Glee first aired at the beginning of the decade and introduced fan favourite gay character Blaine Anderson (played by Darren Criss), it was considered progressive. In fact, Criss has played several gay characters, and has spoken about how “blessed” he feels as a straight male being accepted in the LGBTQ+ community. Now, however, casting a straight actor for any LGBTQ+ character is in fact regressive as it takes away opportunities from LGBTQ+ actors, and Criss himself has pledged to no longer take gay character roles for this reason.

 

Another good example of increasing diversity in media is the beautiful novel written by Angie Thomas called The Hate U Give, which was published in 2017. It touches on the difficulties Black individuals face in modern America, and the discrimination that African Americans face every day. The Hate U Give won awards such as the Goodreads Choice Award for Best Young Adult Literature and has since then been turned into a movie released in 2018 starring Amandla Stenberg, whom you might know as Rue from The Hunger Games. The film received 22 award wins and 37 nominations, including best supporting actor and breakout performance from the African American Film Critics Association. 

 

As we talk about diversity in the media, it’s important to continually recognize bodies of work that have showcased marginalized populations. Authors Becky Albertalli and Adam Silvera both write novels that have wonderfully written and lovable LGBTQ+ characters. Chloe Gong’s debut novel These Violent Delights is a Romeo and Julliet retelling featuring a Chinese female protagonist and a Russian male protagonist set in 1920’s Shanghai, China. The phenomenon that is Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas is a New York Times Best Seller list history-making novel because it’s the first time that a trans author with a trans book has made it onto said list. Although Thomas has stated that their book should “NOT have been the first” in a tweet, they have also said that it “sure as hell is NOT GOING TO BE THE LAST.” 

 

Celebrities such as Demi Lovato, Sam Smith and Camila Cabello have used their platforms to spread awareness, which has a huge impact on the way that important issues are seen. Camila Cabello talks about current events on her Instagram almost every day, and an artist as famous as Demi Lovato coming out as non-binary is an important precedent for the LGBTQ+ community. While our world is no way perfect, the first step toward it becoming safer for minority groups is accepting them.

 

As we become more inclusive, it should be understood that accepting others is the first step towards accepting oneself. Only through loving those around us can we begin to love ourselves. Becoming less bigoted is a journey, and the only way to start is understanding why stigmatization is is wrong. Homophobia, transophia and racist ideals are taught. Nobody is born hating minorities. People old enough to know better should educate themselves on the impact of their harmful thinking, and the first step to do that is to incorporate diversity in the media that they consume.

 

What shows or books have captured your attention recently, and what have you learned from them? Let us know in the comments below, or on any of our social media platforms!

Lies on Love

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It’s easy to toss around relationship slogans, but what are the implications of these simplistic principles? Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Fiona Woo picks apart some commonly-held beliefs.

 

As a serial monogamist, I’ve been in a fair number of serious and committed relationships. Recently I’ve been seeing a lot of relationship advice floating through social media that I have to say I fervently disagree with. The bulk of it feels like it’s coming from hurt, pain, and fear instead of truth, love and faith. Here are some of the things I hear and what I believe is true and untrue about each claim from my perspective:

 

  1.       If he wanted to, he would.

 

I love this one. It makes me laugh. Think about all the times you’ve wanted to do something and didn’t. Everybody is wired differently and we have our own ways of reacting to situations. Just because you would do or act a certain way in a situation, does not mean other people would do or should do the same. Ultimately, things are rarely this black and white, especially in terms of romantic relationships. It is important to look from different perspectives:

 

  •       Do their words match their actions?
  •       Do they make you feel safe, or do they withdraw emotionally when things are difficult?
  •       Are they putting in effort in ways that you wouldn’t but still show obvious signs of care?
  •       Does your expectation of effort match the effort you put in and the stage of relationship you’re in?

 

Have the courage to get yourself out of clearly harmful or dishonest relationships, but have the grace to give your partner the benefit of the doubt when they’ve messed up and you know their intentions are pure.

 

  1.       If you don’t accept me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.

 

If you take this at face value, you should be able to be a jerk and the other person just has to take it, right? Wrong. It would be lovely if we could love unconditionally, but healthy relationships require boundaries. Obviously everybody has good and bad days, and it is unacceptable to only be kind to your partner when they are happy and pleasant. However, if you think it is your partner’s responsibility to simply accept and love all of your flaws and negative traits, you are mistaken about what love requires. Love is supportive and caring, but it is also honest, and it is not blind. It is our responsibility as mature adults to try to be better and give our partner a pleasant human being to live with. Creating a healthy relationship comes with responsibilities. If you do not want to take on these responsibilities, don’t attach your life to another. In the same way that it is a parent’s responsibility to be pleasant and try to do their best for their children, you have that same responsibility as someone’s partner. At the altar, you are vowing to and promising someone a life that would be better with you than without you. If not, why would people take on the stresses and difficulties of being in a relationship? We must have grace for each other’s downfalls, but also work to give the best version of ourselves to those we love most. Give and take, that’s what it’s about.

 

  1.       You deserve better.

 

I see people use this as an excuse not to put the necessary effort required for relationships or to defer responsibility from themselves onto the other. I laugh to myself when people say this and I think in my head, “But do you, really?” It is fully possible that you actually do deserve better, but I guess I just want to play devil’s advocate and put the responsibility back onto you. Only when you take responsibility for your part in the situation do you have the power to change or fix the problem. Resist the urge to see relationships from a perspective of who’s better or worse. If they don’t meet your needs, then leave.  Relationships are about compatibility. I think that the less we see others as evil, and more as simply human and imperfect, the better our relationships with others can be. Yes this is a very naïve and innocent way of seeing the world, but it’s how I choose to see people. Yes I’ve been burned by this thinking before, but I still think it’s better than the alternative of being cold, untrusting and bitter.

 

  1.       All men are trash

 

This is just a downright dangerous thing to believe. One, all men are not trash, there are plenty of quality men in the world. Two, it’s not like women are much better. There are inherent differences to the ways women and men are wired, and this causes many problems in relationships. Growing up with many close male and female friendships, I can tell you, they are fundamentally different. Men are straight forward, they generally mean what they say and act in accordance to whatever feels right in the moment. Women are convoluted, they craft their messages carefully and act in alliance to what will help them get what they want long term. Herein lies the problem: we communicate and act in different ways. Hanlon’s razor is a principle that says, “Never attribute malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity”. Men want to make their partners happy just as much as women do, and they fail at it just as much as women do. When you look at every man with disgust you will probably get what you are looking for. You must give trust to receive it. Give people the benefit of the doubt, and then if they betray that trust, walk away. Relationships don’t need to be a big game.

 

  1.       If he really loved me, then X, Y and Z . . .

 

This is just a general observation of people’s attachment to what love has to look like or mean. I believe two things:

 

  1. True love is without attachment or expectation.
  2. Relationships are about more than just love.

 

If you believe that relationships work if there’s enough love and don’t if there’s not, your ideas about relationships may be too romanticized. Love is about having care for another regardless of the situation, but having a relationship is about building a life together. Somebody can genuinely love you and still prioritize themselves over you. Selfishness is a natural and necessary aspect of human evolution. The best way to love your partner is with a sense of detachment that allows both of you space to thrive as individuals. On the other hand, if you value partnership, you will have to embrace a level of sacrifice to do things for the benefit of your partnership that may or may not be immediately beneficial to you. Healthy relationships are a balance between the desire to be loved and the desire to give love. The partner who can achieve an ideal balance with you is the relationship worth fighting for.

 

Are there any common relationship notions out there that grind your gears? Vent a little in our comments section, or on any of our social media platforms – that’s what the internet is all about!

Moving Forward

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Regrets . . . we’ve had a few. But, then again . . . Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Julia Magsombol offers some advice on how to get back up and on our way. 

 

Moving forward in our everyday lives wasn’t easy, especially when we have committed many mistakes in the past. We all commit mistakes simply because we are humans. When they become too much to handle, we sometimes get stuck in the past. We can’t move forward anymore. Most of the time, our mistakes from the past control us and our lives in the present, which can negatively affect our future. So how can we move forward in our lives when we’ve made tons of mistakes?

 

I took different courses, such as philosophy, sociology and ethical studies, in university. In those classes, we talked about several topics and issues that covered advice on how to manage ourselves when we’ve committed mistakes from the past and how to avoid them again in the future. I would say that those did not help at all. Besides different professors explaining those lectures in a complicated manner, they sometimes added theories on human minds that I couldn’t grasp. Those classes were interesting, but I did not enjoy them all. After all, how could those professors or philosophers from ancient Greece tell us to manage our lives with complicated theories? Could those life theories and deep vocabularies help us move forward or make better life choices? Maybe, but I didn’t feel like they could. 

 

I’ve made a lot of mistakes in the past, and I still do now. I am a human with flaws, and I am imperfect. I’ve had a lot of failed relationships. Sadly, I’ve also failed in my relationship with myself. Sometimes I still can’t accept my mistakes, and I’m still not healed. I sometimes wake up in the morning thinking if I can still do it. At night, I’ve been an insomniac, unable to sleep. In short, my past mistakes have controlled me and my decision-making. I have regrets, and I wish I could turn back time. I’ve struggled to achieve inner peace. I have difficulty accepting my mistakes, but I’ve figured out coping mechanisms. I’ve numbered all the things I should remember whenever I want to give up because of the mistakes I’ve committed, and here they are:

 

  1. Just cry

Some people think that crying is for the weak, or that crying is for vulnerable people who can’t figure out the solutions to the mistakes they have committed. But so what? We are human beings who feel pain. It is alright to cry and let your emotions out. 

 

  1. Learn from your mistakes 

I know this sounds cliché, but it’s true. As the Mad Hatter from Alice Through the Looking Glass said, “You might not change the past, but you might learn something from it.” We can’t time travel like we see in movies. We can never go back to the time we committed mistakes and avoid them. All we can do is learn from those experiences. 

 

  1. Don’t repeat your mistakes 

Sometimes, when we commit mistakes, we repeat them again. We may never know the real reason, but we shouldn’t commit another mistake that will make us suffer more. It is okay to commit mistakes once in a difficult situation, but not repetitively. 

 

  1. The mistakes you’ve committed don’t define you

Sometimes, we are left with difficult decisions, and we can’t do anything about them. We are just humans who commit mistakes in different situations. We are not perfect, so we shouldn’t let mistakes define who we are and overshadow the goodness in ourselves. 

 

  1. Don’t hurt yourself 

We might blame ourselves for all the mistakes we have made. Sadly, we might get mad and hurt ourselves, both physically and emotionally. It is alright to get mad, but hurting ourselves isn’t right. After all, we only have ourselves in the end. 

 

  1. There’s always tomorrow.

Annie from Annie sings, “The sun will come out tomorrow, so you gotta hang on ‘til tomorrow.” It isn’t easy to move forward, but there’s always tomorrow to do better things, to be the best version of ourselves. We are never too late in life. We are free to live and to do the things we love. Give yourself a chance on your own tomorrow and hang in there. 

 

I haven’t forgotten all the mistakes I’ve committed or moved on from them, but reading this, the advice I’ve created for myself, helps me to cope and, sometimes, to get me on track once again. It isn’t easy to move on forward when you’ve made a lot of mistakes. But keep in mind that it is never impossible to move forward. We can always keep trying.

 

How do you pick yourself up again when you’ve made a mistake? Let us know in the comments below, or talk it through with some supportive peers at a Conscious Connections meeting!

The Mental Health Revolution Might Be Televised

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And now, back to our regularly scheduled mental health conversations: Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Christina Liao identifies a trend in television shows exploring issues like self-love and loss.

 

In today’s media, topics such as self-worth, self-love and grief are discussed in a much more prevalent way, and externalities of these discussions tend to be very positive. With the media educating people on these subjects, consumers are more educated and aware of them. CW shows such as The Vampire Diaries and The 100, or Marvel’s WandaVision, all include these discussion points throughout the course of their shows. Many of the characters showcased have inner conflicts related to these subjects, and are written in a way that makes viewers understand them on a personal level.

 

Clarke Griffin, one of the protagonists of The 100, battles self-worth in a way that really makes us see the person beneath all the armour. She would go to many lengths to protect her people, even by dooming the entirety of another population. After having been branded the title of “Commander of Death,” she consistently wonders if she is a “good” person or a “bad” one, even though it is because of her actions that everyone she loves is alive. One idea that the show often touches on is that maybe there are no bad guys. Nobody is born a bad person, but everyone has done things we regret. That by no means makes somebody a bad person, but even someone who’s inherently good has done bad deeds. Whether it’s lying to a friend or not talking to their parents more before they died, everyone has experiences that they wish they could take back. However, this does not make them terrible people, or less worthy of love. Clarke battles this throughout the show’s seven seasons after having to constantly sacrifice things to survive and save the ones that she loves.

 

A show that explores self-love through the eyes of a character is CW’s The Vampire Diaries. A character that has battles of whether he’s worthy of love is Damon Salvatore, who’s one-half of the Salvatore brothers. He says that he wants to be known as the “bad brother” so he isn’t expected to be good. Being a good person can be hard sometimes; it gets exhausting. Everyone has times where they want to be selfish. Because of this, Damon wonders if he’s worthy of love. He knows he’s selfish, but he would still do anything for the love of his life. Through Damon we understand that everybody is worthy of love, especially someone who’s ready to give up everything to save others. Just because someone thinks they’re a bad person does not mean they’re not worthy of love. In fact, if someone is aware that they’re not “good,” that realization usually indicates a goodness within. Nobody is born a bad person, everyone has light and dark inside of them.

 

In Marvel’s 2021 show WandaVision, grief and its five stages is one of the main themes. Wanda Maximoff battles grief after losing her beloved Vision in Avengers: Infinity War. Her life in WandaVision is a whirlwind of grief, and leads to her accepting her loss and becoming very powerful. Discussing topics like this sheds the light on very real emotions that people feel when they lose a loved one. Marvel has released many limited series shows in 2021, and they all talk about important topics. With the large platform that Marvel has, these stories can go a long way toward educating people about the subjects they need to understand in order to accept others who are dealing with tough times.

 

Having shows that reach a large audience discuss these topics is an improvement upon society because it brings light to important issues. It educates the people that consume said content and creates material for discussion. Only with discussion can a society become more empathetic, educated and kind. These kinds of mainstream conversations are an important step to a world that is more accepting, and therefore loving. 

What TV shows have had a positive influence on you? Let us know in the comments below or on our community site so we can all binge watch some quality content!

Alone with Everybody

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Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Connie Wong describes how solitude can be just as valuable as friendship.

 

I have enjoyed hanging out with my friends since elementary school. With friends, you are less worried about walking alone awkwardly and they can be there when you feel bored and need company. By middle school, we had around ten people who always gathered together to share our thoughts and feelings within our group.

 

There is endless fun within a group, but they can also create problems simultaneously: you could easily feel left out if you’re the shy kid in the group. As well, sometimes you want to fit in, but it can be time-consuming to participate. Being involved in group activities can take up my study time, or just the moments that I wish to spend alone quietly. 

 

Later, as I graduated from middle school, I went to a new high school where the students had already known each other for two years before I transferred. It wasn’t challenging for me to find a friend there, but I was hoping to find a friend group like I previously had. I started to glance at each corner of the school and see where I could fit in.

 

Eventually, after a long observation, I decided to give up because, in my opinion, none of the groups I saw felt welcoming. The in-group bias made their friendships stronger and more connected inside, and it was clear what they might look for in new members. I understood because that’s what I would have thought back in middle school.

 

I decided to stay at school as little as I could to avoid being an outlier who did not belong to any of the friend groups. One day I needed to ask questions before an important exam. As soon as I was done with the question I went to the library, where everyone was told to sit alone for social distancing. This place was absolutely a shelter for me to conceal my awkwardness.

 

I took out my supplies and turned to look out the library windows: many students were sitting outside by themselves. Some were reading books, some were enjoying their lunch, and some were just confidently walking around in the school.

 

“Don’t they feel awkward when they see others gather as a group and they look left out?” I wondered.

 

I stared at them for a few more minutes, and I answered myself.

 

“No, they’re perfectly fine without a friend beside them.”

 

If I didn’t grow up as part of a group, I might have felt more natural spending my time alone in public. However, being alone after spending most of my time with the group was a nightmare for me. It made me feel like a lonely performer on a stage. Seeing others living perfectly fine without friends around them helped me release my tension, and I gradually learned to be confident by myself in a crowd.

 

Everyone has a choice in whether to join a group or work alone. I’m not an introvert or an extrovert: I’m a person who loves being both and trying to balance them. Spending too much time socializing is exhausting for me, but it is also difficult for me to stay at home for more than three days.

 

Friendships can play important roles in our life, but allowing them to take over your schedule is not healthy. Learning to be alone is essential because you never know when you might be separated from your friends. Always stay patient and calm when you need to go through some time alone. Only that will make your friendships grow stronger.

Are you an introvert or extrovert? An ambivert, maybe? An omnivert, perhaps? Or maybe you’re something else entirely? Let us know in the comments below, or join our community platform to make a whole bunch of instant connections! And whoever you are, we appreciate you!

Mastering Magnetism

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Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Nour Saqqa argues that integrity is key to becoming a better leader, and outlines the path to achieve a reputation that will earn the trust of others.

 

Did you know that your greatest personal asset is the way that others know you? That’s right, it’s your reputation. Your reputation can be the reason why you get promoted or fired. And in today’s academic and business worlds, if you want to set yourself apart from others and be noticed as an up-and-coming leader, you need to invest in the most important trait that’s associated with having a good reputation and being a great leader—integrity.

 

Integrity involves being honest and moral and trustworthy and consistent. A person with integrity is not only accountable, self-aware and responsible, but also makes ethical decisions in any given situation. Those who have integrity become magnets, attracting people and opportunities. 

 

Let’s face it, people will not buy anything from or follow individuals they don’t trust. So, what are three actions you can take today to help you become a better leader? 

  • Keep Your Word 

 

Words are powerful — but actions are even more powerful. With words, you can convey a willingness to do something. But how you act actually demonstrates your level of willingness. Whenever you — or anyone — say you will do something, others expect you to do it. 

 

When you choose not to honour your commitments enough times, you will often find others running in the other direction when they see you. When, however, you honour your word and follow through on commitments, others are more likely to trust that you will do so in the future. 

 

Honouring your word establishes you as reliable and trustworthy. It also allows you to have more influence on others in both your social life and at work. This means that more people will listen to what you have to say. 

 

Whether or not you choose to keep your word not only impacts your relationships, but also the overall strength of your character. It’s easy to make promises and break them. When, however, you choose to keep your promises, each act of integrity strengthens your character.

  • Live in Truth and Analyze Your Key Relationships Regularly

 

To live in truth with yourself, you must live in truth with each person in your life. It means refusing to say or do something that you don’t believe is right. It means refusing to stay in any situation where you’re unhappy with the behaviour of another person because you refuse to compromise your values. 

 

Part of being able to live in truth with yourself and others involves becoming more self-aware — being able to see yourself more accurately by better understanding who you are and what your values are, how you situate yourself in this world and what motivates you.

 

Becoming more self-aware is one of the most powerful ways to grow as a leader. For instance, in a book titled Leading So People Will Follow, Erika Andersen discovers that individuals who are more self-aware become more successful leaders.   

  • Study People of Strong Character

 

Sometimes, the best way to learn is through example. This can involve learning through observation or through reading about and studying other people’s success stories. This also applies to developing integrity. 

 

You can develop yours by studying people of strong character like Winston Churchill, Margaret Thatcher, Vishen Lakhiani, and Jay Shetty—leaders whose core values and business ethics have allowed them to change the world. 

 

How many of these actions will you practice today? 

 

While developing your integrity and becoming a better leader does not happen overnight, implementing a strategy that involves incorporating specific daily practices into your lifestyle will help you become a better leader. 

 

All you soon-to-be great leaders out there: what will you do to make yourself into the person you know you can be? Or are you already there? Tell us about your journey in the comments below, or on any of our social media channels!

Breaking the Mirror

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Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Jihu Lee examines the fine line between empathy and codependency.

 

What does empathy mean to you? Some of us may give more to others than we do for ourselves. Others may be there to listen while a friend vents. Whatever you do to exercise empathy, we may have a basic definition in mind of what that means, perhaps something like “putting oneself in another’s shoes to understand their perspective.” But, while we may think we know what empathy is and is not, I have noticed over time that we may engage in behaviors that are deceivingly ’empathetic’ and actually harmful. Does empathy have boundaries beyond which it is no longer considered as such? 

 

The idea of being empathetic with boundaries intact may sound paradoxical. After all, isn’t the point of empathy to touch others’ lives with open arms? To a significant extent, this is certainly the case. Roman Krznaric, Ph.D, author of the article “Six Habits of Highly Empathetic People,” acknowledges that part of empathy means expanding the boundaries of “our moral universe.” But Krznaric adds that empathetic people not only strive to uplift others around them, but to improve their own lives as well. These are the six habits of empathetic people, as Krznaric describes them: 

 

  1. Cultivate curiosity about strangers. 
  2. Challenge prejudices and discover commonalities. 
  3. Try another person’s life. 
  4. Listen hard and open up. 
  5. Inspire mass action and social change. 
  6. Develop ambitious imagination. 

 

I personally find these observations eye-opening because they lead to a conversation about how empathetic people with boundaries can touch others profoundly. Let’s frame our discussion by looking at what empathy without boundaries is like. 

 

Do you find yourself striving to make someone else’s life better while depriving yourself of your own needs? Do you hesitate to stand up for yourself by holding another person accountable for their actions out of fear that you might upset them? Repeated occurrences of such subservient behavior are no longer characteristic of empathy, but rather, codependency. 

 

Codependency, at its core, is neglecting one’s own well-being to meet others’ needs or to gain approval. This behavior can often start in childhood, where children may feel they deserve love only if they make their parents happy and carry this idea into adulthood. Codependent people often program themselves to be hypervigilant to their parents’, friends’ or partners’ emotions for external validation. But by constantly seeking outside approval to fill the emptiness inside, we lose our sense of self and identity; we become so fixated on the emotions of those around us that we fail to regulate our own. For instance, if you ever find yourself giving unsolicited advice in an effort to “fix” another, it may indicate hypervigilance and the desire for control over an emotional state that is not your own. 

 

Similarly, I believe holding back from encouraging others to outgrow maladaptive coping mechanisms is a sign of wanting to please the other person – an effort to preserve a relationship that survives on our compliance rather than our ability to stand up for ourselves. We lose our sense of self in mirroring someone else. For instance, imagine you have a significant other with unhealthy coping mechanisms to escape the burden of their heavy realities. Rather than encouraging them to seek help, you allow your partner to continue their unhealthy behavioral patterns out of fear that you might lose them if you stood up to them. 

 

How does this relate to empathetic people and their habits? Let’s recall Krznaric’s words, that we strive to better our own lives when expanding our moral universe to others. Essentially, empathetic people excel at reaching out without overextending and balancing care for others with care for themselves.

 

What we can take away from this idea is that we serve others better – with more understanding and validation – if we are good to ourselves and in tune with our own emotions. 

 

All six habits of empathetic people have a common thread connecting them: the ability to support authenticity while striving to understand and uplift others. It takes authenticity to inspire others and create change, because then people look up to you and not a mirror of themselves. We need to be grounded in our own identity to cultivate a vibrant imagination that uniquely captures us. When others are in emotional distress, we need to hold space and be a listener without desiring to fix them. In a similar manner, we cannot lose ourselves when trying another person’s life or reaching out to a stranger. Before standing up for what’s right, we need to hold onto our sense of self that guides our moral compass.

 

It certainly isn’t an easy overnight transformation from codependency to empathy. But emotional awareness of codependency alone is a strong step towards change. As a community, I encourage us to remind one another that our own minds and bodies matter. Practice setting boundaries to bring yourself peace, rather than disregarding boundaries and undermining your own well-being in an attempt to keep the peace. Wanting to help others is undoubtedly a strength of one’s character, but helping yourself will synergistically uplift both sides. 

 

Sources: 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/intimacy-path-toward-spirituality/201711/are-you-codependent-or-just-caring-person

https://highlysensitiverefuge.com/the-link-between-high-sensitivity-empathy-and-codependency/

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/difference-between-empathy-and-codependent-behavior-for-hsps

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/six_habits_of_highly_empathic_people1

 

Celebrate your identity with the Low Entropy community by sharing what makes you uniquely you at our community site or on any of our social media platforms – we can’t wait to hear your voice!

The Art of Resilience

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Through the theme of resilience, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Christina Liao finds the link between fantasy and reality.

 

Spoiler alert: this article may contain spoilers for Six of Crows.

 

Six of Crows is a fantasy novel that features six protagonists, and is part of a duology that shows how resilience can get anybody through anything – even raiding a top-level security government building. Chosen as one of Time magazine’s contenders for the top one hundred best fantasy books of all time, it’s a heist story written by Leigh Bardugo, and is inspired by the likes of the film Ocean’s Eleven. It is a contemporary example of resilience in media, and encourages modern-day readers to want to be more like the characters in the book.

 

The characters in Six of Crows all exhibit resilience at some point throughout the series, whether it’s Kaz’s never-ending scheming and conning, Jesper accepting himself and the powers that he has or Inej finding ways to be grateful towards a life that’s been nothing but hardship. It shows that no matter how young, resilience is necessary in order for success. 

 

Of all of the novel’s six protagonists, Matthias Helvar is the most resilient. Not only was he imprisoned in one of the most brutal prisons in a foreign country because of someone he trusted, he also changed his antagonistic world view about Grisha (people who practice magic) throughout the course of the two books, only to die at the end. Matthias is from a country known as Fjerda, and his people actively hunt Grisha because they think that they’re unnatural abominations. After falling in love and pledging his life to the same person he thought betrayed him, however, Matthias had to unlearn years of propaganda from his government and the country that he served and loved. Even as he died, his final wish was for his lover – Nina Zenik – to show mercy to his people, the same people who saw him as a traitor for associating with a Grisha, and the same people who ended up killing him.

 

Matthias is the very image of resilience – even though he died, he stayed resilient to the very end and was the embodiment of honour.

 

In everyday life, resilience can be seen in less dramatic, but equally profound ways. A child falling off their bike and getting up, a student who does not do well on an exam and then proceeds to study harder, or a single parent who continues to go to work even on the worst of days. Resilience is something that everyone has the ability to find inside them, and rise up from hardship, even though it’s difficult.

 

It is because resilience is difficult that it is also so important. A person needs to be resilient if they wish to succeed. Although life can throw curve balls at us and put us in difficult situations, resilience is the key to get us through those tough times. Through art, we can see that it’s an art to be resilient. If everyone engages with this art, our society can only become stronger.

 

Tell us about a time you had to be resilient. Share your stories in the comments below, or in person at a Conscious Connections meeting!

 

Living Sustainably: Five Easy Tips

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It’s a handful of low-effort, eco-friendly choices from Low Entropy eco-friendly volunteer writer Nour Saqqa!

 

When you hear bloggers, global organizations, artisans, and environmental activists tossing around the phrase ‘sustainable living’ enough times, you begin to wonder what it means and why you should care about it. 

 

Sustainable living involves becoming more aware of how your food choices, your clothing purchases and, among other things, your use of energy impact the environment. It means living in a way that reduces your environmental impact and supports both present and future generations. When you live more sustainably, you can improve your health, save money and feel happier.

 

Even though a sustainable lifestyle looks different for everyone, there are areas where you can reduce your personal and societal environmental impact. Here are a few examples of actions you can take to start living a more sustainable lifestyle today. 

 

  1. Replace Plastics with More Eco-Friendly Alternatives 

 

Replacing plastics may sound like a challenging task, especially since we all live in a plastic-filled world. But there are many alternatives — and it’s becoming easier to find them. Reducing your use of plastics can be as simple as replacing your plastic water bottles, straws, single-use cups and lunch boxes with ones made from stainless steel. Stainless steel products are not only much more durable than plastics, but are also free of toxic chemicals like Bisphenol A, also known as BPA. Other alternatives include glass, beeswax-coated cloth, wood, bamboo or cardboard that’s not coated in plastic. 

 

  1. Use Less Household Energy

 

Consuming less power at home is both good for you and the environment. When you dial down your electricity use, you save money and help reduce the number of toxins released into the environment. Using less electricity also means that you’re helping conserve limited resources such as water, fossil fuels, minerals, nuclear energy and natural gases. You can start by switching off appliances you’re not using — and that includes a tablet that you just left on your couch or computer desk. Other ways involve replacing your incandescent lights with LED lights and buying a more water-efficient showerhead. No matter how many of these changes you decide to make, any minor change counts.

 

  1. Use Your Bike Whenever You Can

 

Swapping your car with your bike can also be a great way to stay fit and benefit the environment. Cycling will help you feel less depressed and less stressed. It will also help improve your posture and joint mobility. For many, this mainly aerobic activity can also increase muscle strength, flexibility and cardiovascular fitness. 

 

Every time you cycle, you also help reduce air pollution, parking problems and the number of burned non-renewable fuels — and these are just a few of the benefits. Imagine if you knew them all. So, the next time you plan to go on a short trip, think of all the positive changes you can make to your health and the environment’s health just from changing your transportation. 

 

  1. Wash Clothes in Cold Water 

 

If you were just sick and slept on your bed, you should probably rinse your clothes with hot water. In any other instance, cold water is the better option. Cold water requires a lot less energy than hot water, and this means that you can save some real money by making this change. Cold water also helps your clothes last longer, and removes stains effectively. Clothes are also less likely to shrink, wrinkle or fade in cold water. When you choose to use cold water, the environment will also thank you because this action helps prevent more carbon pollution. 

 

  1. Upcycle Your Clothes 

 

Upcycling is an easy way to reuse what you already have by transforming it into something new. In the process, you also help reduce greenhouse gas emissions and textile waste — waste that ends up in landfills and takes a long time to decompose or get rid of. By being more sustainable with clothes, you can make a difference. 

 

Choosing to live sustainably doesn’t have to be so challenging. And sometimes, the best approach is to start small. It can be as simple as swapping your plastic bottle with a stainless steel one or using less water when you shower. No matter what eco-friendly changes you decide to make today, it will be worthwhile for both you and all future generations. 

 

Do you have any ideas for easy, eco-friendly lifestyle changes? Like Nour says, every little bit counts! Share with us in the comments below or on any of our social media channels!

Uniquely Beautiful

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Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Anais Delépine reminds us that we’re all one-of-a-kind, and reveals how appreciating that can create positivity within our diverse communities.

 

Everyone in this world is diverse, and that is okay.

 

Traits such as physical aspects are visible. Some are less so: we have different sexual orientations, we do not think or act the same way, and we all have different social and cultural backgrounds. Beliefs and opinions forged early in age may change over time as one matures.

 

Some enjoy listening to music, others don’t. Some like playing soccer, others enjoy football. One person’s faith may be oriented toward Buddhism while another is agnostic. Some believe that fighting for world peace is a number one priority ,while others may think climate change is the most critical world challenge.

 

All in all, there may be someone similar to you in many aspects, but there will never be someone that is exactly like you in every aspect. All these traits are a reflection of our personalities and make us unique and rich.

 

Diversity is beautiful as long as one remains true to themselves.

 

Trouble comes when one hides their true self, consciously or unconsciously. Why would they do that? They want to be liked or avoid being judged, so they show others what they think those others want to see, or the kind of person they think those others want them to be. Situations may also reveal one’s personality: even if, for example, one person is the sweetest being on this planet, this aspect can easily change in a second. Something drastic could happen and make that person become rude and aggressive all of a sudden. Of course, this phenomenon can also happen in a positive way. 

 

Although diversity is beautiful, our differences may lead to conflicts when communicating.

 

We can overcome these challenges by working toward better understanding our own personalities. Are you a doer, a socializer, a thinker, a relater or a subtle mix of all that? Know your true colors and leverage your strengths while working on your potential limiters. Once this knowledge has been acquired, you can start to understand others and establish a common ground where discussions can take place amongst all of our different diverse personalities. That’s how the most beautiful ideas and relationships arise in this world!

 

Are you a doer, a socializer, a thinker, a relater or a subtle mix of all that? Let us know in the comments below, or among a small group of supportive peers at a Conscious Connections meeting!

Ours to Discover

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Human beings have created a multitudinous array of wonderful cultures. How could we not feel the rush of curiosity and adventure when we encounter the uniqueness of any of them? Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Alexandra Dadivas speaks on the beauty of embracing difference.

 

At present, there are almost eight billion people on Earth. all of whom are scattered throughout seven different continents and 195 countries. They are divided by race, religion, cultural background and experiences. With all of these qualities making us so different, one might start to wonder how any of us could come together when the world couldn’t put us further apart.

 

I was born and raised in a Roman Catholic family. Hence, the holidays were a big deal! We had seven-foot-tall trees sprinkled with countless decorations that matched the rest of the house, cookies and milk waiting for a very special guest and presents for everyone we knew, all in celebration of the birthday of our Jesus. For a long time, it was all I knew. What didn’t occur to me was that not everybody believed in the same things that I did. At school, those candy canes that my classmates handed out were merely in the spirit of the holidays, not because it held any spiritual value to them personally. I decided to accept it, for all that mattered was that everybody was celebrating Christmas, right?

 

When I was 10, I met one of my closest friends, Aaliyah. It was such a rare and exciting connection, because we were alike in almost every single way. When Christmastime came around, I noticed she wasn’t as enthusiastic as the rest of the class was. I asked her why, and she said she didn’t celebrate Christmas, at least not this one. With wide eyes, I wondered what she meant, and she explained that she was Muslim and that her religion, Islam, had their own holidays, such as Eid and Ramadan. As much as I was taken aback, I was fascinated. She was someone who didn’t share my Christmas, but had her own kind that she celebrated in other ways. This dissimilarity actually brought us even closer, for we were both eager to learn about each other’s religion and how we could include each other in it. We made a pact that on her holidays, she would give me presents, and on mine, I’d do the same. Of course, as children, that was our favorite part, but as we got older I realized how beautiful our friendship had grown to become because of this difference. Despite the fact that the joy came from different sources, we bonded even more over our love for each others’ religions.

 

As time goes on and I am exposed to an even wider variety of people, the same exhilarating feeling runs through me every time I discover someone who has a different cultural upbringing than me. Every person is an opportunity to learn more about what every corner of the world has to offer. Even my immediate friend group shows so much diversity. Of the six of us, one is Scottish, two are Indian, another is Mexican, Aaliyah is Arab, and I am Filipino. Everybody makes an effort to explore each other’s traditions and backgrounds, and though these efforts are small, whether it be trying a traditional food or just giving them holiday greetings, there are powerful meanings behind them. It says that we respect one another’s differences as much as we embrace them.

 

I firmly believe that having diversity in one’s social circle increases the likelihood of feeling that prejudice is wrong. Whenever I come across someone who is racist and assumes, for instance, that all Black people are violent, I speak up as loud as I can because I think of my African-American friends, who have been through so much discrimination and pain. I defend Aaliyah and her kind family when somebody shames them on their religion or their home country, Palestine. My friends show me the best parts of humans – the parts that I will always stand up for, no matter what.

 

Having connections with people from all over the world allows you to see past the negativity that society has pinned on them, to the beauty of it all. It increases your admiration, curiosity and overall respect for every race, religion and culture that makes up humanity. Friendship itself is already an incredible thing, but once you delve into everything that makes a person, it becomes so much more real, and yet more magical at the same time. 

Share your culture with the Low Entropy team at our community site, or in person at a Conscious Connections meet-up!

Masculine & Feminine Energies: Understanding Our Duality

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Masculine? Feminine? Why not both? Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Emma Norton explains.

 

Life is designed based on energetic polarities, and our purpose is to strive for balance.

 

  • Positive and Negative
  • Dark and Light
  • Masculine and Feminine

 

The list goes on. The Law of Polarity explains these dualities as ubiquitous. Perhaps our biggest misconception of these dualities is manifest in our creation of masculine and feminine stereotypes, particularly as applied to assigned gender. Furthermore, we have been living within an arguably toxic patriarchal system that perpetuates unhealthy behaviors in both energies. Based on the sexual organs you are born with, you are assigned a gender. This creates a boxing-in of antiquated behaviors that are more detrimental than they are good. They do, in theory, simplify things. But the societal shaming of interests not deemed stereotypical of our assigned gender impedes our ability to be multifaceted people.

 

Understanding our duality, particularly within our Masculine and Feminine energies, can have a massive impact on our self-awareness.

 

We can evolve our interactions with the world and engage in our interests without hesitation by embracing this duality and discarding the notion that we must be more of one energy than the other.

Based on the chart above, you can start to gather a sense of these aspects being polarities to one another. One would not exist without the other. When we can see these aspects within ourselves and others, we can better discern our choices. To segregate things based on gender is ludicrous, because our bodies are not always representative of our inner world, and that’s okay. Removing these limitations from ourselves enables us to heal and become more well-rounded individuals. We can realize that we don’t need external validation from others to thrive.

 

When considering terms like gender-bending and androgynous, we must accept the premise that we all hold both masculine and feminine energies by nature. Shaming a male for being overly emotional or a female for being too tough are examples of outdated stereotypes that can lead to insecurity. When we feel awkward in our truth, we hide it. Cultivating a deeper awareness of our internal dualities would lessen these issues greatly.

 

In our efforts to be balanced, we can as well come to identify when we are out of alignment. Using myself as an example, I feel balanced when I am creative, receptive and nurturing. I also value my logic and planning abilities, so I try to project them through my professional development or even my exercise activity. With writing as an example, it’s highly creative for me, and my voice is authentically feminine in its compassion, but I am also planning out the structure, editing the content and coordinating with clients, which is my masculine portrayal of energy. When I am too focused on the former, I am happy, but paralyzed by the next steps because I don’t feel rooted security. When I focus on the latter, I become anxious because I am exerting too much energy into planning and not doing. Marrying the value of the two energies I embody together allows me to take intuitive action. 

 

It is difficult, in our society, to remove the pressure to stereotype that results from unhealthy masculine energy. Our desire to assimilate is our downfall. All we have seen is out of alignment, and therefore out of integrity. We will save the lesson on generational trauma for another day, but I see it as a survival instinct and desire for safety that stems from wounded masculine energy. I have seen clear examples of this, how the effects of the patriarchal societal system alter the choices for all gender identities. It’s simply out of whack. 

 

I am more aware of my empathic abilities now. I have always seen through to the underlying pain of others. This often kept me in a balanced, neutral state before any conditioning seeped into my brain from the external world. With all I have learned and understand about my duality, I can look back and apply my understanding of unbalanced energies to old wounds for further healing. It’s fascinating to look back and understand the defense mechanisms of bruised egos (including my own) which I, of course, could not fully grasp at the time. 

 

People and society can and will share their perspectives on whether you are more masculine or feminine, aside from your assumed identification. Many stereotypes tend to cloud our discernment of self-identity.

The simple message is that we embody both as energies. We have the opportunity to find our wholeness when we take ownership of our duality and work toward a balance. 

 

Hey! Using italics at the end of an article is my thing! You’re taking my thing! It’s all I’ve ever known! Sigh. While I reflect on what this means for my identity, dear reader, consider joining a Conscious Connections session, where you can discuss the impact of gender stereotyping and internal energies with a group of awesome Low Entropy community members.

Dear Victoria

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In a love letter to his favourite place, Low Entropy Writer Mike Vaness shares with us how Vancouver Island captured his heart.

 

When you think of your favourite place, is it hard to narrow it down to a single choice? Everyone has their favourite place to relax, their favourite restaurant or their favourite holiday spot where they can get away from everyday life. Whenever I think about my parents’ home on Vancouver Island, I get an immediate yearning to go there. The pandemic has made it difficult to travel outside my home province of British Columbia, yet even prior to the restrictions Vancouver Island was still my top choice. While the appeal of visiting my family is strong, there are so many other aspects I enjoy about Vancouver Island that make it my go-to dream destination. 

 

So, what is it about Vancouver Island, and Victoria specifically, that I find so relaxing and enjoyable? I believe it has to do with the journey as a whole: it starts with a ferry ride that brings a lot of the fun and enjoyment to the overall experience. I have always loved being on the water, and even when it’s on a large ship, there is just something fun, new, and exciting about it. Whether I am relaxing in the indoor seating area or the outside deck of the ship, I can watch our destination come into view as we maneuver around the smaller islands with a sensation of exploration and adventure. It always feels like a new experience, and it really helps take me out of my everyday routine and brings me into the moment of not only where I am, but where I’m going. 

 

Once I arrive on the island, I like the fact that I am familiar enough with the location that I can make my way around, but enough time has passed for any changes to be new and exciting, and I revel in that sense of discovery. Vancouver Island has such a different look and feel to mainland British Columbia, where on the island everything seems to be a bit slower-paced and smaller in scale. Even when driving through the busier and denser parts of Victoria, BC’s capital city has a uniquely distinct feeling compared to that of Vancouver. I really enjoy this difference: you get the feeling that everyone there is just moving around at their own pace. Victoria is large enough to have a wide variety of businesses and landmarks, but yet it is still small enough so that you don’t have to spend hours walking to any one destination. Furthermore, the atmosphere on the island is much more old-fashioned, and the buildings and the appearance of the city is far less modern. Much of Victoria has maintained the look it had from the 19th century, and the city is flooded with history.

 

Every time you walk down the streets you can still see the history written in the very buildings and their architecture. The provincial government’s legislative buildings as a tourist attraction right in the heart of downtown certainly helps to preserve the overall image of the city. Further out, you can still feel the influence of the British colonial settlers, especially when it comes to the many old-style pubs with names like Six Mile Pub and Four Mile House – as these kinds of establishments acted as inns for the original roadway through the interior of the island. It seems everywhere you turn there is something of historical significance, and Vancouver Island embraces this. 

 

So, while the city of Victoria itself is very nice and has a great energy about it, of course the main reason that I love going to the island is to spend time with my family. When I spend time with my family, life just has a different feel to it: I don’t have to deal with nearly as many adult responsibilities and I am flooded with nostalgic emotions from when I was growing up. Now, I do believe that these emotions may have been amplified recently since the world has fallen into this pandemic, and I have not been able to see my family in over a year and a half. I now have a new appreciation for the old adage “Absence makes the heart grow fonder!” With that in mind, I do still love every moment that I am on the island: going out to eat at any of the incredible old-fashioned pubs, visiting the lovely gardens or wandering around the historic downtown core. I love being there and I do hope that one day I can make Vancouver Island my home. Until then, every time I visit I think: I’m going back to my favourite place.

What’s your favourite place? Reminisce with members of the Low Entropy community on our community platform, or join a Conscious Connections meeting to share your memories!

Healing Nature

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Even if you aren’t the outdoorsy type, being in nature – just for a little while – might still be beneficial to your mental health. Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Teagan Sliz writes on the growing awareness of the natural world’s curative properties.

 

Your neck muscles unscrunch, the tightness in your chest begins to subside, your thoughts become clear and your mind tranquil. All you have done is stepped foot into a forest, waded into a lake or merely wandered into your backyard. Your senses are awakened by the splendid sights, sounds and scents of the natural environment ─ the sweet aroma of damp soil, a canopy of green pierced by rays of golden light, the cheerful sound of birds chirping ─ and you are overcome by a profound feeling of serene calm. 

 

For millennia, humans have intuitively known that nature has restorative effects on one’s well-being. After all, for the majority of our species’ history, our lives have been closely intertwined with the natural world. This is why we go on walks to clear our minds and travel to lake houses, campgrounds or tropical beaches in order to “reset.” In recent decades, however, science has begun to confirm and explain what we intuitively know to be true.

 

Shinrin-yoku is a Japanese term which translates to “forest bathing.” In his 2018 article for Time Magazine, Dr. Qing Li, who studies the health benefits of forest bathing, describes this practice as “bathing in the forest atmosphere, or taking in the forest through our senses.” Dr. Li explains that the purpose of forest bathing is to bridge the gap between us and the natural world by simply being in nature ─ connecting with it through our senses of sight, hearing, taste, smell and touch. Through his research, Dr. Li has found that forest bathing reduces pulse rate, increases vigor and relaxation, and decreases feelings of anxiety, depression and fatigue. Dr. Li even found that these nature walks produce elevated levels of Natural Killer or NK cells in the immune system, which fight tumors and infections. 

 

What is more intriguing is just how easy it is to reap the benefits of the miracle drug that is nature. In a 2019 study led by Mathew White of the European Centre for Environment & Human Health, it was concluded that it takes a mere two hours a week of time spent in green spaces for individuals to report higher levels of good health and well-being.

 

These findings come as no surprise to me. Growing up, I was fortunate enough to have a cottage to which my family would make weekend trips in the summer months. On our trips north, as the distance between us and the city grew and we entered into the rural farmlands that sat quietly just north of the Greater Toronto Area, I remember feeling great elation as I sat in the back seat knowing what was to come. My memories of the cottage consist of swimming in the lake, hiking through the woods to hidden waterfalls, playing make-believe games with my cousins and sister in the forest, and watching sunsets from the dock. These memories, which all took place in nature, are some of my happiest. My cottage continues to be a place where I can go, not only to escape the stresses of urban life, but from which I return rejuvenated and restored. 

 

Though I am fortunate to have these cherished memories, the sad reality is that myself and others are severely lacking sustained interaction with the natural environment. At a time when the profound benefits of immersing oneself in nature are coming to light, we as a society have never been so disconnected from the natural world. In fact, in his article, Dr. Li notes that by 2050, 66 per cent of the world’s population is projected to live in cities, and that the average American spends 93 per cent of their time indoors. 

 

So what is to be done?

 

On the individual level, we can all stand to spend more time in nature. Seeing as we only need two hours of time spent in nature per week, it is hard to find an excuse not to. However, for those who live in city centers, many of which are lacking substantial green space, this can be a difficult task. Hope, however, is not lost. As concerns increase surrounding our nature-deficient, technology-heavy modern lifestyle, government officials, policymakers and citizens are pushing for change. 

 

In an article by Jim Robbins published at the Yale School of the Environment, he explores efforts “aimed at bringing nature into people’s everyday lives.” Robbins discusses how cities are adding or enhancing parks, and schools and other institutions are being designed with large windows and access to trees and green space. Robbins also notes how the number of “forest schools” — which have long been a tradition in Scandinavia and where much of the learning takes place in natural, outdoor settings — have mushroomed in the United States, up by 500 per cent since 2012.

 

It is undeniable that being in nature makes us feel good. Recent studies confirm this and reveal to us that nature provides the human mind and body with more health benefits than we could ever imagine. It is what we decide to do with this information that will be the true determinate of our health. So, take any chance you can get to go on a walk, bathe in a forest and inhale that sweet, healing scent of nature. 

 

What do you like to do outdoors? Share your hobbies and ideas with us in the comments below, or talk about your plans for the summer on our Low Entropy community website!

Pause.

Posted on by andrew

With a remarkably simple method, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Christie Gan nurtures optimism for each oncoming day.

 

Time is money.

 

Each and every second counts. I’ve been there, whether I’m rushing an assignment the night before it’s due, fulfilling customer orders at a cafe, trying to motivate a child I tutor to finish an essay before I leave or hurrying to meet a friend on time when she lives more than an hour away (her time is money, too).

 

However, despite the hustle of each day, I don’t wake up ready to get things done. Instead, I stay in bed and stare at the ceiling.

 

Each day is like a new song to me. But before it begins to play, I press pause.

 

Why?

 

As I’ve gotten older, constantly racing against the clock has taken its toll on me. While trying to balance my studies, work, social life, extracurriculars and health, at least two of these things have suffered on rotation. I’ve learned to accept things like grades that fall short of my expectations, lost sleep and friends who become frustrated with me for not making enough time for them. I push forward regardless, but . . . 

 

I’m human. 

 

I get tired when I don’t rest, which is what happens most days. I’m human, but I feel more robotic than ever when I work nonstop. Sometimes, I just want to do nothing.

 

Do I have the time to do nothing?

 

No. 

 

But I make time. I don’t have the time to do nothing during the day, so I make time before it happens. (I would say that sleep is that time for doing nothing, but even in my sleep, I tend to dream about my responsibilities.)

 

Those five, 10 and sometimes even 30 minutes in bed are often the only morsels of time I get to just breathe. I know what’s in store; it’s all in my head the night before, minutes before my head hits my pillow. It’s always something along the lines of this: 

 

“Okay, tomorrow, I’ve got a psychology exam and my contemporary art project presentation . . . I have to study for my other psychology exam, but I have to finish those research assistant applications too . . . oh, right, I’ll have to drag myself to the opening cafe shift first thing in the morning. I should really call Sarah, we’ve barely been able to talk for the past two weeks. But my parents are probably going to call me so I won’t be able to talk to her, will I? Oh well, guess I have to disappoint her again. And isn’t my essay due tomorrow too? I mean, I know it’s done but I’m way over the word limit.”

 

I sigh deeply, knock out, and then the reminder that there’s a tornado of activity to come hurtles at me the moment I peel my eyes open the next morning (or, to be more accurate, the same morning — I’m a certified night owl). It’s definitely a “Honey, you’ve got a big storm coming” moment.

 

It would probably be best for me to get the day started after five to 10 minutes of being awake, especially when there’s so much to do. But I stay snuggled under the covers, having a staring match with an expanse of white blanket hovering above me . . . and I stop thinking.

 

I stop thinking about what I have to do.

 

What does that do for me?

 

It helps reset my mind. (As I mentioned, my dreams are unfortunately haunted by my life obligations, so sleep doesn’t do this for me.)

 

What do I get out of this?

 

A few minutes into not thinking, I let my mind drift to possible scenarios that could unfold during my day. Not what could go wrong, but nice things that might happen.

 

I imagine things like snacking on a free scone behind the cafe counter, a friend laughing at a joke I make on the way to class or feeling relieved for answering every question at the end of my exam. 

 

When these scenarios play out in my head, my lips curl into a genuine grin and my heart fills with warmth, anticipation and excitement. By the time my second alarm goes off, I’m ready.

 

I’m ready because now, I’m looking forward to these little moments that will get me through the day.

 

I’m ready because even if only one positive thing happens, I’ll notice and make the most of it. People say it’s bad to have your head in the clouds all the time, but if I let it happen for just a few minutes, I imagine moments I can find joy in. Now I have focused my mind to pay attention to the little things, be it a smile from a customer or the warmth of the sun on my skin. 

 

Even if things don’t go perfectly, there’ll be something to be happy about. I know it’ll be okay.

 

Now I press play, and my day begins.

 

Time is money, but life is too short for us to forget we’re only human. Before the day begins, you might want to pause and breathe, even if just for a while. Imagine all these moments, no matter how small, that you can find joy in during your day, and start your day with a fresh, optimistic mind. I hope you find this just as rewarding as I do.

 

What joyful moments have you experienced recently? Let us know in the comments below, or weave it into a dialogue with other positive folks on the Low Entropy community platform! 

Stay-at-Home Schooling

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While educational institutions adapted their curriculums to a pandemic reality, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Jihu Lee took some valuable lessons from isolation itself.

 

The world of education during the coronavirus pandemic has shifted impressively to compensate for the loss of conventional learning opportunities. My younger sister, Brooklyn, spent fourth grade fully online. Not surprisingly, there is a growing concern about the impact of increased screen time on the neurological progress of youth around Brooklyn’s age who are still climbing the peak of their developmental stage. My parents themselves have been stressed over Brooklyn’s lengthened time spent on her computer. Meanwhile, I experienced my first year of college online in my home state of Utah. No matter what demographic of students we belong in, I believe we can collectively agree that a pandemic-restricted environment is not conducive to learning. I would like to offer my insight on education during COVID-19 from the standpoint of a college student. 

 

After graduating high school in 2019, I took a gap year to work and travel. By March 2020, our lives detoured in an unexpected direction when COVID-19 began accelerating in the United States. Even still, most of us, if not all, were under the impression that the pandemic would be over by the end of summer 2020. Evidently, that has not been the case. When USC began sending mixed messages regarding plans for a “return” to campus, our unease soared while our hopes and expectations faltered. I tried to keep myself excited about meeting my professors and taking classes that caught my interest. 

 

Now, as I write this, it is June 2021. It is incredibly challenging to accurately put into words what this year had brought for me. As a first-year college student, I was looking forward to taking flight from under my parents’ roof and experience my independence away from home. I wanted to meet a highly diverse student body and share stories with those vastly different from me. So many “should have”s and “could have”s. I have also felt ashamed of the feeling that I was victimizing myself, which fanned the flames of my doubts regarding my level of productivity. But through it all, I learned to regulate my emotions and discipline to feel my best, even if that meant finding a new version of myself to be comfortable with. 

 

This was not the college experience anyone would ever aspire to have, but the growth that took place in me is immeasurable. One particular idea became especially clear: education is far more than sitting in our academic classes. Spending an uncomfortable amount of time by myself has induced four main points of development: 

 

  1. The mortifying ordeal of knowing yourself and its rewards: To improve as a person, we need to know what we lack. Whether that means seeking help to resolve unprocessed trauma or trying to reconnect with our parents, we have to undergo the rite of painful discomfort to bloom again. There is nothing like a pandemic that would force me to be alone more than usual, and it has made me look into who I am, what I need and what I want to change. 

 

  1. Boosting self-discipline and becoming your own cheerleader: The person who is responsible for sending that email or finishing that assignment now instead of three hours later is me. Moreover, when our accomplishments go unnoticed, we reserve the right to acknowledge them and feel proud of ourselves. After all, external noise comes in all forms– validation, disapproval, underestimation – but I have the power to consistently root for myself. 

 

  1. Perspective: I struggle with holding space for my own feelings because I don’t consider them as important as others’ situations around the world. But the knowledge that others “have it worse” should allow us to heighten awareness and empathy rather than invalidate our own experiences. The pandemic has taught me that kindness towards myself not only strengthens me, but also makes me a better empath! We don’t rise by bringing down others, and I seem to have learned that bringing ourselves down doesn’t uplift others the way we think it does either.

 

  1. Realizing how capable you are: Whether you powered through an entire day with your energy at 100% or finished one assignment because of a raging headache, your worth and abilities never wavered and never will. The perfect human condition may not exist, but we don’t need it to prove to ourselves that we are strong. If you fall, it’s okay to crawl for a bit of the way, as long as you rise again. 

 

This is what education was for me during COVID-19. Of course, academics are highly important to me, but there is significant value in what school doesn’t teach us that we can learn for ourselves. My take on education during COVID-19 is less about how to make academics worthwhile on Zoom, but what else we were able to learn about ourselves during such an uncertain period of our lives. We do not have to feel obligated to find a silver lining in every painful lesson of our lives, but I truly believe that we deserve to give ourselves credit where it is more than due.

 

What have you learned during this trying time? Let us know in the comments below or on any of our social media channels!

On Fear and Happiness

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Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Kat Z starts with questions about leadership, and arrives at a galvanizing answer about self-respect.

 

To rule with fear or respect – it’s a question that distinguishes different types of leaders. Which is truly more effective in the eyes of the amassed crowd? How does a single person grasp the spirit of the people in a way that produces a productive result? Leadership involves maintaining a grip on the reins of the herd, but what, really, is the right way of doing this?

 

Every person responds to people in positions of power differently. Some find a threatening stature to be the most impactful, and are motivated by avoiding the dangers of failure. Others require a kind, supporting figure to succeed. They enjoy life led towards prosperity with a gentle hand.

 

You can notice these various styles of leadership in every political figure. There are democratic candidates: those who must vie for the admiration of the public in order to be elected. Alternatively, there are dictators. Dictators, or any other tyrannical leader, feed off the fear of their people to remain in power.

 

In some ways, using fear as a motivator can be very effective. After all, fear is a primary driver for human adaptation and survival. But there is also a high cost: a greatly decreased quality of life. Consistently using extreme measures to push yourself to your limit is an incredibly taxing and tiring method. To put it in a wider view, very few countries have found lasting success using this method. An autocratic country with content citizens is not far off from an oxymoron. They’re also rarely economically profitable. An afraid and unhappy population does not produce the greatest quality, or quantity, of work. Fear is a method designed to defeat the strongest of us.

 

This doesn’t only ring true in politics. This rule can be applied to any single person’s communication style. And it can be seen in how we respond to different people. 

 

Most importantly, it can be seen in how we treat ourselves.

 

We aren’t just born this way, as some may lead you to believe. We are taught how to handle ourselves by witnessing the influential people in our lives. Whether they be our parents, siblings, grandparents or someone unrelated to us, their actions will be reflected in ours. We, as the next generation, will then go on to influence our children.

 

If we rely on fear, the parasitic pain that results is allowed to propagate. Then how can I possibly escape my own brain?

 

Your neurological system has been taught that fear is the best possible way of achieving success in life. It will never knowingly try to bring itself down, it’s just doing the best it can with the given circumstances.

 

The genetic staircase that brings about these views may seem insurmountable, but that is not the case. The importance of treating yourself gently can be learnt with time and patience. However, in order to rewire your brain, you must first be aware of how negative treatment came about as the default. To effectively move on, we must look back and reflect on the past. Thoroughly processing the details of your upbringing can be an incredibly harrowing experience, but the only way to properly treat an infection is to first release the pus that hides the wound.

 

Humans as a group have an intense need to constantly evolve. We have a drive like no other to be the most improved versions of ourselves. It can be easily forgotten that we still have some of those same primal instincts from when our ancestors lived in comparatively underdeveloped conditions. Our minds and abilities have come incredibly far, yet we still cannot seem to grasp our final existential goal. Many people think that it is tangible success, whether it involves making the most money or having the most things, though this isn’t the case. You can endlessly improve the standard of the objects around you, but a lot of the time, this will only decrease your quality of your life. 

 

In reality, the most highly evolved goal is to be able to do things purely out of enjoyment. There are entire industries that exist because of the happiness these products bring to people, whether it aids their survival or not. This is, admittedly, a problematic concept, as there are vast numbers of people all over the world who still have to worry about their most basic needs. But it does prove that the human race isn’t only a race to the finish line; it also involves appreciating what you have, when you have it.

 

This means allowing yourself to simply live life. To abandon all unnecessary stress and to remember that, in order to demand respect from others, you have to first demand it from yourself.

 

Power produced from your own pain is not power in itself, but abuse. You deserve to be happy, you deserve to believe that you can live a life that isn’t ruled by fear.

 

Each person is the sole leader of themselves, so it can’t be forgotten that the journey to a fulfilling life begins with the proper, respectful treatment of you.

Treat yourself! What makes you happy? Let us know on any of our social media channels, in the comments below or in person at a Conscious Connections meeting!

Disconnect to Connect: Rediscover Emotional Connection

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Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Ava Sandler reminds us of the importance of connecting with the physical communities and environments that exist outside of our digital screens.

 

In an age of increasing technological prevalence, isolation and superficial connection prevail. I recently read Kazuo Ishiguro’s novel Klara and the Sun, and I found it to be a beautiful exploration of love and loneliness, and authenticity and superficiality, amid striking technological advancement. Throughout the novel, undercurrents of darkness and subversion permeate its core as Ishiguro quietly observes the importance of human connection and compassion. Although he allows both the human and the artificial intelligence narratives to flourish, gentle understanding seeping into the depths of each character, he carefully accentuates the unparalleled and inimitable nature of the human condition through his exploration of technology’s offerings: both its astounding contributions and its grave limits. But most compelling is Ishiguro’s consideration of our primal return to nature and human connection for 

our ultimate survival, despite our psychological dependency on and fascination with technology. 

 

Our desire for technology to satisfy our need for connection and inclusion is reflected in our online presence. As shallow interactions flourish amid a depthless sea of faceless icons, emotional connection wanes. I recently read an article that meditates on this very concern, wherein the writer asks, “Do we want to go deep or wide?” Although our ever-growing networks have allowed us to connect with more communities than we ever thought possible, in one respect or another, we need to question the nature and sustainability of this connection and the degree of profundity and sincerity it can offer. 

 

I had initially intended to discuss statistical studies throughout this article, but I find reminiscences a more embraceable and inviting approach. For several years now I’ve casually observed and explored the impact of our online activity on emotional connection. Although I’ve read countless studies, my most critical period of contemplation arrived through an in-person interaction with my peers. A vague and faraway memory though it is, my mind continues to revisit this noontime recollection.

 

I and two of my close friends had just arrived at our usual lunchtime destination, and we were settling in to hungrily consume our cold sandwiches. By way of habit, one of my friends escaped into her phone, once more immersed in the lives of distant friends. Jokingly, my other friend and I stole one half of her sandwich, hoping to draw her attention back to our conversation. But our friend remained ignorant of our feeble attempts to reawaken her mind to our presence. In the moment, I felt only anger and frustration at her inattention and indifference to our tangible company. But years later, these feelings have dissipated to be replaced by realization: My friend was slipping further and further away, into a place—a mentality—I could not reach. 

 

Although my other friend and I masked our behaviour as a mere joke, a display of comical mockery at the predictability of our friend, it was more deeply a desperate attempt to reconnect emotionally with her. Despite her physical presence, her mind was elsewhere, longing for a taste of the thrill, the stimulation, that her cellular device unfailingly offered and her two tangible friends could not likewise simulate. Although such stimulation was in part fuelled by the psychological rewards of the platforms our friend frequented (the “likes,” the comments)—and the platforms I and my other friend were also connected to at the time—she was most attracted to the ever-expanding network of peers the platforms allowed her to curate, and the superficial popularity she thus received. As our friend drifted further away, it became clear to my other friend and me that no matter the years we’ve spent together, we could not fulfil this artificial desire for the inclusion and sense of connection that her online presence received. 

 

The other day I approached my friend (whom I’ve been referring to as the “other friend”) about this recollection, and invited her opinion on the matter. What struck me most powerfully about our conversation was the indelible impression this incident had made on her. Despite its seemingly trivial and colourless nature, she too remembered it vividly. In fact, we both remarked on how it haunts our memory. But why this specific memory? I’ve come to find that it not only invokes past emotions of longing and loss, but embodies the heavy consequences that have begun, and will continue, to accompany this fresh age of technological connection and dependence. 

 

Although our technological advancements have introduced us to a fantastical realm of astonishing, unparalleled potential, we need to recognize and embrace the tangible in order to rediscover one another and the natural world. We no longer control our technological innovations; the power they possess prevails over the human condition. I visualize a boundless bubble shrouding Earth, invisible to its inhabitants, but a string-master, casting a possessive, elusive and ever-present influence as it guides its puppets. To regain a sense of meaningful and impactful connection and community, we must disconnect and surrender ourselves to the unruly and unpredictable, to nature and physical presence.

 

How many sandwiches do you figure you could steal from people who are engrossed in their phones on any given day? Half a dozen? More? Let us know in the comments below or on any of our social media channels . . . and then hang out with some friends in person!

There’s Something About Empathy

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How do sympathy, compassion and empathy compare? Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Christie Gan gives us a primer on these essential interpersonal concepts.

 

Sympathy is the ability to feel pity and sorrow for someone else’s troubles. Meanwhile, compassion is the ability to feel sympathy for someone to a point where you want to help them. On the other hand, empathy is the ability to understand and experience someone else’s feelings.

 

So logically, if you feel sympathy for someone, and then you feel compassionate enough to help them, shouldn’t that solve their problems? Why would you even need to show empathy to them?

 

Well, sympathy shows an awareness of someone else’s troubles, while compassion shows a willingness to help that person with their troubles on top of an awareness of them. However, empathy isn’t about feeling sorry for someone. Empathy is about sharing and validating someone’s feelings and thinking of solutions based on a deep understanding of what it’s like to be in their shoes. This, in turn, provides them a deeper understanding of themselves and motivates them to take their own action in relieving their misfortunes. 

 

Based on my own experiences, I’ve ranked sympathy, compassion and empathy on a scale of helpfulness from level 1 (least helpful) to level 3 (most helpful):

 

Level 1: Sympathy

 

A few months ago, I was set to fly back to Vancouver to finish my final semester of university. I’d shown my negative COVID-19 test results to an attendant at check-in and boarded a flight to Tokyo. I would have been able to board my transfer flight to Vancouver, if not for them deeming my COVID-19 test invalid from being done a few hours earlier than Tokyo’s new cut-off time. I had no choice but to take a flight back home, where I would have to be quarantined in a hotel for 21 days. 

 

While I was in despair about putting up with long-distance learning for even longer than I already had and paying out of pocket for the hotel, a flight attendant in Tokyo asked me what I intended to fly to Vancouver for. I’d told her it was to study, and with a pitiful expression, she replied: 

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

I’m sure she hadn’t meant to make me feel worse, but those two words amplified the severity of the situation and made me shift all the blame onto myself. Thinking back to this always reminds me that telling someone I’m sorry they’re going through something won’t necessarily make them feel better—something I’m glad I’ve gained from the experience.

 

Level 2: Compassion

 

Given that I was a student traveling on my own with a ludicrous amount of luggage, the airline in my hometown felt so sorry for me that they decided to help me. To my immense relief, they booked me a new COVID-19 test and put me on their next available direct flight to Vancouver for free. I definitely hadn’t felt completely heard and understood—especially not when I was even mistaken to not be a resident of my own hometown! Nonetheless, I was certainly grateful that they got me to where I needed to be. At the very least, they showed that they did genuinely care that I was affected by taking exceptional action to help me.

 

Level 3: Empathy

 

Last year, a dear friend of mine was seriously struggling with her studies. She was completely burned out in her medicine program. Even picking up a pen proved difficult to her, and she’d lost her appetite completely. Her motivation and mental health were at rock bottom.

 

I’d listened to her telling me, “I just feel so lost. I don’t know why doing even the simplest things is so hard these days. Am I making my problems up in my head? What if I’m just being lazy?” In return, I’d said, “It makes sense that things are difficult right now. You’re taking a very stressful program; you’ve told me about having to memorize six entire textbooks’ worth of content for an exam for a single subject, which is no easy feat. I know you’ve been trying your best and working super hard, and it’s normal to need a break. You’re only human.” 

 

I’d suggested a counselling session, she’d booked an appointment, and I’d offered to accompany her. During the session, I patted her shoulder as she cried, took notes, then reorganized these notes on a digital document that I sent to her afterwards. Afterwards, she sent me a text:

 

Thank you so much. I feel a lot better now. I’m going to sit down and figure out what’s best for me, like you and the counsellor said to.

 

It made my day to know that I not only made her feel better, but proposed a solution that inspired her to take action for herself. Ultimately, empathy goes a long way because it doesn’t only make whoever you show it to feel heard—it empowers them too. Yes, it’s useful to sympathize and even better to show compassion, but empathy involves taking compassion to the next level. Mastering empathy and maintaining my ability to be good at it are goals that I never let out of mind or sight, because I believe empathy is the key to reducing entropy—a state of disorder, as we say—in society. 

Empathy is certainly helpful, but it can be emotionally taxing as well. How do you balance sympathy, compassion and empathy? Let us know in the comments below, or start up a discussion on our community site!

Empathy: The Essentials of Emotional Engagement

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Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Grace Cheng offers a primer on empathy – what it is, why it’s important and how to cultivate it.

 

To me, empathy is the ability to emotionally understand what others are feeling, seeing things from their points of view and putting yourself in their situations. Empathy is one of the building blocks of a healthy relationship. Like other life skills, empathy can be learned and developed. Having the ability to be more empathetic can benefit our lives in many areas. We are able to connect with and understand our spouses, friends, families, coworkers and even strangers at a much higher level when we master how to be more empathetic.

 

Empathy is a powerful tool that helps maintain social order and cooperation. It allows people to understand and relate to others. Empathy can be used to build intimacy, trust and belonging with people. It is also the feeling that makes it hard to see others suffer.

 

Empathy often encourages self-sacrificing behaviors, and empathy-based kindness has been shown to increase cooperation and forgiveness, form stronger relationships, decrease aggression and judgment, and improve our mental and physical health.

 

You can tell if someone is an empathetic person by observing the following behaviours:

 

  • They are good at listening to what others are saying.
  • People are sharing their problems and expressing their feelings with them.
  • They are good at understanding how other people are feeling.
  • They often think about how other people feel.
  • Other people go to them to seek advice.
  • They often feel overwhelmed by tragic news and events.
  • They offer to help others when they are suffering.
  • They deeply care about others.

 

Here are some tips to become more empathetic:

 

1. Make listening to a top priority

 

Listening is particularly important because most of us speak much more than we listen. Empathy starts when you intentionally listen for emotions, so try to pay close attention to the signals people are giving out, because they can indicate what people are feeling. Before you connect with what others are feeling, you must recognize their emotional expressions. Active listening can strengthen your understanding in being more empathetic.

 

The following are steps to becoming a better listener: 

 

  1. Give your undivided attention to conversations: This means not using smartphones, tablets, or laptops when people are speaking. It means actively listening to what they have to say and making eye contact with them. 
  2. Let the other person speak: This means giving them time to finish what they have to say and not interrupting their conversations.
  3. Summarize your understanding back to the other person: Once the other person has finished talking, summarize your understanding back to them and verify whether you understood what they were trying to say.
  4. Ask the other person some insightful and relevant questions: Use your curiosity and ask nonjudgmental questions to better understand their perspectives, thoughts and feelings.
  5. Allow the other person to express their emotions: Let them talk from their heart and share exactly how they feel. This can often give them insights and help them discover their own solutions. 

 

2. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes

 

It is quite easy for all of us to comment on and judge others. Some of us have undoubtedly accused others of overreacting, or told someone, “I don’t understand why you are so upset.” However, if you put yourself in their shoes then maybe you would be able to understand their pain and suffering. Once you do that, you can start to experience the emotions that they are going through and understand things from their point of view.  This would allow you to better connect with them.

 

3. Express your care and concern to others

 

When people tell you their problems, chances are that they do not feel well and want your emotional support. This is the time to show your care and concern for them by asking, “How are you feeling?” or “Is there anything I can do for you?” If you know each other well, you can offer to talk to them on the phone or meet up with them, which can make a tremendous difference. If you are both comfortable with it, you can give them a big hug to show that you care.

 

4. Acknowledge the other person’s feelings

 

One of the biggest issues in communication is that most people do not acknowledge the other person’s feelings. Acknowledging is a way to communicate that you understand how the other person is feeling. You can acknowledge their feelings by simply saying, “I am so sorry to hear that,” or “I can hear your pain.”

 

5. Make yourself vulnerable to others

 

When you allow yourself to be vulnerable to others by getting into the other person’s emotions, it can enrich your relationships and form deeper connections. When you share your experiences of emotions such as anger, anxiety, shame and sadness, you can open opportunities for others to empathize with you.

 

Being vulnerable can build up your empathy by allowing you to feel the value of empathy through reflection. This can increase your commitment to being more empathetic to others. You can gain more confidence and comfort in navigating hard emotions during conversations with others.

 

6. Take action and offer your help to others

 

Having empathy involves adopting the emotions of others, but not their external  situations. Knowing what the other person is going through can help you better identify their needs. If you are able to do so, offering to help others can make a big difference. This puts empathy into action and helps to maximize well-being.

 

7. Show your emotional support to others

 

Most importantly, for empathy to be effective, you need to show emotional support to people. This means giving them your trust and affirmation, as well as encouraging them. You should let them know that, no matter what happens, you will always support them. Sometimes what people are looking for are not your solutions, but your empathy and support.

 

Our world can certainly benefit from having more empathy for others. By learning how to become more empathetic, you can make a difference by creating peace and harmony in our world. So the next time you see someone having a hard time, make sure you listen and share, and identify what you can do to help them.

 

Was there a time when someone else’s empathy helped you? Tell us your stories in the comments below, or in person at a Conscious Connections meeting!

Choose Kindness

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From Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Ellie Gibbard.

As the world continues to go through devastation and grief, I think that we need to keep reminding ourselves of the phrase “in a world where you can be anything, be kind.”

This week I connected with a young woman in one of my online summer classes who moved to Canada from India three years ago. Seeing her pop up in one of my breakout rooms this week reminded me that her family and friends are still living in India. I decided to reach out and ask her how she was doing with all of the tragic COVID-19 deaths that are occurring there. Her response was heartbreaking – and not just because of what her family is experiencing.

Much of her family have/had COVID-19, including her parents, and some of her close friends are in critical condition. The loss she had experienced was overwhelming. She found it hard to put the helplessness and grief she was feeling into words. Hearing this was hard, but somehow still not the worst part about what she had to say. She said that the messages and words she had received from the non-Indian people in her community had been of blame, hate and disrespect. In response to a “pray for India” post, she received messages like, “Why would we pray for you when you probably didn’t pray for other countries when they suffered?” Others remarked that it was India’s fault and that the country deserved what was happening.

Millions of people are dying. When someone is experiencing loss of any kind, the first response should not be to search for and place blame. Knowing that someone is going through something of this level of tragedy gives us an opportunity to support them and love them, not to tell them that their country asked for it.

As many tragic and devastating events continue to ruthlessly take place around the world, we are provided with opportunities to spread love, or place blame and spread hate. When these opportunities arise, choose to spread kindness and love into people’s lives. Staying educated on why certain things are happening is important, but we can do that while still being kind and supportive.

Choose to spread love, choose to be supportive, choose to be kind.

I Made a Mistake

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Admitting your mistakes can be a very difficult thing. It’s even harder to turn those moments into character-building opportunities. Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Tricia Keith shows us how both can be done.

In a world that seems ready to tell me that I have made an error, that I am wrong, that I am mistaken and, therefore, unlovable . . . wait a minute, what world is this? . . . It’s the one that I have been living in, after making a big mistake.

The size of this mistake is relative to the trust between me and another. I would call it a big mistake if it’s going to tarnish that trust, and it likely will. Now what do I do?

Avoid my mistake, and in fact, that person? A fairly easy job to do, from the outside, given that my connections to this person are not in-person. But my conscience is; my conscience is my inner person.

My fearful thinking tells me that if I cough up my truth, it will badly damage my relationship to this person and maybe more. My first response is to retract into myself and hide.

I expect fear to rescue me, and fear expects to be the hero in this mind game. Dig a hole. Hide out until the situation passes over and disappears, deep into an archive of emails. Yah, right, OK. Got it. But after two sleepless days with a tight chest and anxious, recursive thoughts, I realize that fear is not going to free me.

Thankfully, I have two trusted allies, and more thankfully, they received my story with non-judgmental listening; they agreed that it was a mistake, that I was in the wrong, but also that I was not unworthy of their love. That’s really the bottom line. I was not unworthy of their love.

The question then became, could I BE that for myself?

Suddenly, two lines of self-narrative began to emerge: my faulty judgment that initiated the mistake, and my growing capacity to love myself enough to be present and admit my mistake, no matter the consequences.

Without meaning to or preaching at me, my two allies (my husband and my sister) showed me that I could grow from my mistake by being honest. Where fear wanted to keep me in the dark, self-love gave me the courage to be present, in full lighting.

This situation of discovering my mistake, and that it was public, felt like a bomb going off inside me, though it is really inconsequential in the greater scheme of things. Away from the office bubble that I work within, I am encouraged by the heroes and sheroes who stand up for their truths everyday in the face of discrimination, oppression and violence. As a white, cis-gender woman, I know that I am privileged because I can assume a centered position within the scheme of structural racism and oppression.

In order to begin unlocking the interlocking chains of colonial history, I endeavor to develop my capacity to admit my mistakes. Microaggressions that I am conditioned to overlook, I need not to see with fearful eyes, but with self-love, in order to process the chain of events and not pass them on to my children.

The Low Entropy community is a group of non-judgmental, empathetic individuals who are committed to ensuring that people feel loved, no matter what kind of mistakes they’ve made. Interact with us in the comments below, on our social media channels or in-person at a Conscious Connections meeting!

Without Villains

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It’s natural to conclude that some people are bad based on negative behaviour. Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Hayley Chan, however, asks us to think more deeply about the world, toward an appreciation of the contextual complexities that humanize us.

 

My mom was telling me about a conflict she was having with one of her friends.

 

She was upset because this friend – let’s call her Emily – basically accused my mom of excluding and using her.

 

What was most upsetting for her was that Emily didn’t use much introspection when coming to this conclusion.

 

One misunderstanding completely painted my mom as a bad friend in Emily’s eyes. In this scenario, it could be said that Emily was a bad person because she didn’t see things from my mom’s point of view, and didn’t try to do so before sending a vindictive email.

 

But with a little bit of empathy, my mom was able to understand why Emily was acting like this. She took the time to see things from Emily’s point of view – to understand that she knows this person has trust issues and is easily insecure in her relationships. This was possibly because of her distant relationship with her mother, who was cold and unkind.

 

Maybe those insights were just guesses and are not correlated to Emily’s behaviour. But what counts is the effort made to understand; My mom had empathy for someone who characterized her as a bad friend and person – something she is not – even though she wasn’t given the same courtesy.

 

As explained in attribution theory, when someone does something wrong, it’s easy for others to attribute those actions strictly to the person they are. On the flip side, when we do something wrong, it’s easy for us to attribute it to external circumstances.

 

The saying “Treat others how you’d want to be treated” is relevant here in terms of questioning whether empathy is the key to ending the good guys vs bad guys mentality, and I believe it is – especially in a society where “cancel culture” is a habitual response. When people make insensitive comments, whether they be racially insensitive, emotionally insensitive, etc. their entire character is not just questioned, but assumed to be entirely immoral. People often rush to these conclusions and then boom – you’re banished from the good graces of Instagram.

 

And ironically, one of the things a lot of people try to promote on social media is self-love, forgiveness and growth. Although these messages are often supportive and positive, when someone does something “wrong,” these same people preaching positivity and growth aren’t giving the same encouragement to those ousted by society for making a not-so-conscientious comment.

 

Maybe if we refocus our energy on trying to understand others and where they’re coming from, we’ll be able to see the words and actions of others more clearly, rather than deeming them strictly good or bad.

 

It seems like it would just be easier to be more understanding to ourselves and others. However, I can understand why most people talk the talk about empathy and kindness without following through. Empathy is not always easy. Taking the time to understand others is probably the hardest part of taking an empathetic response to a problematic situation. It’s so easy to see things through your own perspective because it’s a daily habit. For example, if your friend is talking to you about their partner who is not a great verbal communicator, and you have just come out of a bad relationship with someone who lied to you constantly, are you likely to first acknowledge the fact that their partner is probably busy with school or work and shows affection with quality time? Or is the first thought that comes to mind more likely to resonate with the fact that most people cannot be trusted and if they seem like liars from one observation, they probably are? 

 

How often do we first see things from a different perspective than our own?

 

Some people may be more naturally empathetic than others, but it is not necessarily a subconscious decision to think critically about the behaviours of others. Like any good habit, you must put in the work to ingrain it into your mental library of routines. And with practice, it gets easier to instinctively pull that habit from the shelf.

 

I think empathy can end the good guys vs bad guys mentality, but empathy, putting yourself in someone’s shoes, is not always a natural instinct, and that’s okay. It doesn’t make you a bad person. It doesn’t make Emily, my mom’s friend, a bad person for not being able to practice empathy in the scenario I described. And it doesn’t make people on social media bad people for preaching more about forgiveness and growth than walking the walk. Practising empathy is a skill, and when learned and executed, can help us differentiate between a bad action and a bad person.

Can you recall a time when you were able to understand someone who hurt you? Tell us your story in the comments below or join our live discussions in a Conscious Connections meeting!

Epic Empathy

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Critical hits, rolling for initiative, blundering botches and total party kills . . . it’s all super fun, nerdy stuff. But empathy? In Dungeons & Dragons? Low Entropy Volunteer Writer James Phan explains how connecting with others’ emotions is actually one of the keys to a truly epic campaign.

 

As you’re drawn into a story, raw feelings are no coincidence. Emotions are the stuff that connects us to the world and makes for powerful storytelling. To demonstrate this, we could break down emotional story elements in a novel, but here’s a plot twist: we’re rolling for dungeons and dragons.

 

If we are to explore the power of empathy in storytelling, Dungeons & Dragons (or “DnD,” for short) is a surprisingly authentic platform to learn about the subject. Even though books have long been the standard medium of storytelling, and while DnD is a much younger, niche medium, the game shares with books many elements involving immersive story experiences.

 

Getting Familiar with The Game

 

Rowan Yates from Victoria, BC, an expert host for DnD with 15 years of experience, helped me understand the basics of the game. Briefly speaking, the heavily imaginative game usually involves three to seven players who play as a team of characters and one dungeon master (or “DM”), the assigned creator of a given fantasy world with a unique nature that governs it. The DM facilitates the story’s progression. Win conditions vary and are decided by the DMs, but “winning” is extremely subjective. For Rowan, who works at the Victoria Disability Resource Centre, partners with AIDS Vancouver Island to co-facilitate Queerabilities Victoria and spends his free time as a fierce warrior who whets his battle spirit in a modern medieval fighting sport known as buhurt, a DnD win isn’t as much about the results as it is about the players having fun. It could be about battling a dragon, finding treasure or yammering at a tavern for three hours.

 

Onwards! A Unique Storyteller

 

What’s unique about the narrative gameplay of DnD is its candidness as the story unfolds. Events evoke emotional responses almost immediately. A player may sense her character’s life threatened, and her response will shape the next event. At times, the story can have messy moments, like behind-the-scenes footage in movies, due to the game’s nature to incentivize player creativity. Players can fall out of character and revise their talents, or the DM might commit a story blooper and improvise a narrative on that. A novel can tell the same story across the general public, but DnD personalizes its story only to the handful of players, with the story material dependent on the unique personalities in the team. Unlike books, the game seals no fate; the story is fluid and ever-changing. 

 

Onwards! A Sense of Community

 

Once in the game, DnD is storytelling from the heart, with empathy at its core. The setting is revealed, and the conflict is foretold. Danger is afoot. How will the heroes proceed? An introduction haunted by uncertainty and inevitability is a construct in many fictional works. In a book, readers at this discovery stage may or may not begin to empathize with the protagonist, but in DnD’s narrative, the audience members are also the main characters, immersed in a shared, empathetic experience. 

 

As cooperative storytelling, players shape the nature of their teamwork against imminent threats. There’s a sense of shared responsibility, shared excitement for risk and reward, and a common feeling of novelty. Through the forming of a shared DnD story, group members develop empathy with each other. In the real world, a companionate work culture promotes empathy, which improves teamwork and business proficiency. A good DnD story, similarly, improves teamwork that, in turn, feeds back into the story.

Onwards! Individual Revelations

 

In a novel, readers may or may not become more accepting of flaws in a protagonist, while in DnD, acceptance of imperfection is strongly encouraged among the players. Teammates must accept the characteristics of their own alter ego (characters have qualities that are not in their player’s control), but also of the behaviour, temperaments and other nuances of their team members. In a way, this is similar to empathic training, where subjects are encouraged to participate in activities outside of their identity, such as acting or reading fiction. Being in the shoes of others can expand one’s perception, emotionally and intellectually.

 

A player’s chosen character can also reflect suppressed thoughts or personality. By being another identity, the individual has the opportunity to explore unknown desires and values. Throughout the game, the player can become more comfortable with their character development, which can progress to self-empathy. DnD provides a safe platform for this kind of experiential discovery, which can be limited or inaccessible outside of its realm.

 

Aaand Onwards! Narrative Leadership

 

Rowan and other DMs rely on empathy to facilitate their games. They heed their players’ emotional and physical cues to decide what happens next, including when and how to introduce story material to keep everyone engaged. Even before the story begins, a good DM should have a keen idea of who the players are in order to understand what mechanics, themes and play style might work for the group. In 2009, Google wanted to improve managerial performance in research called Project Oxygen. The research team found that the best managers were those who spent time with their team, giving one-on-one attention, providing goal clarity and caring about individual desires and values. Great DMs are like these effective managers, attentive to the players so that the narrative resonates with personalized meaning.

 

Halt! The Conclusion

 

Think of DnD like an open book for a party to colour into, while everyone flips the pages together. If someone has a funny moment, everyone is sharing laughter. If there’s a struggle, everyone feels the heat. If mistakes are made, DnD’s improvisational roleplaying makes imperfection okay, and empathy seeds forgiveness. The story is built with empathy and without it, there is no onwards.

 

Whether or not you’re a fan of DnD, it’s safe to assume that we all lose ourselves in a moment of good storytelling. There’s something to learn and something to gain, and – like in Dungeons & Dragons – the journey is about learning along the way. Empathy is a powerful conduit in all storytelling, as it bridges our sense of connection outside of our own worlds.  

 

What ho! I beseech thee, fly onwards again to our comments section or Instagram account or maybe a Conscious Connections meet-up, where we shall engage in mirthful discourse on the nature and value of empathy! Godspeed!

The 99%

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When it comes to culture, Anna Bernsteiner fears not the unknown. Instead, the Low Entropy volunteer writer encourages us to celebrate differences and embrace the unfamiliar.

 

I have traveled to cities I have never been to, that feel more like home than the place I grew up in. 

I have met people from totally different countries and continents, feeling like I have known them forever.  

 

Ever thought about the fact that you are a foreigner in about 99% of the world? You are familiar with the place(s) you grew up in, but the rest is new territory for you to explore. 

I have always enjoyed being a foreigner. Living somewhere where nobody knows me, exploring new lands, foods and cultures. Understanding what drives people on the other side of the world.

And yet in current times, it seems that we’ve become more reserved towards others. Building walls and fences, trying to stop immigration instead of encouraging it, and spreading hate in various ways. 

 

I have always wondered why. Why are humans constantly fighting against each other? Against people with different religions, different skin colors, different cultures? 

 

There is no simple answer, but what I have gathered so far is that people are scared of the new, different and unknown. They can’t control it. It’s nothing they grew up with. It’s scary. That’s why they fight it. Unfamiliar equals uncomfortable. 

 

This trend of working against each other rather than with each other is, in my eyes, the worst direction our society can go in.  

Judgement and hate will continue to grow and drive us apart, instead of making us understand and work together. And history has already shown us where this will eventually lead. 

 

What we actually need is to understand that, fundamentally, people are all the same. Doesn’t matter where you go or where you come from. 

There isn’t much difference between me and someone from India, Brazil, Canada, Chile, Thailand or South Africa. Chances are, we all want to be loved. We want the people we love to be okay. We want to be safe. We all want to have a good life

And yes, we might speak a different language, eat different food, dance to different songs, or wear different costumes, but at the end of the day, we are all the same. 

 

And still, racism is a huge problem. 

Because we can’t accept our differences and see our similarities. 

 

We need to be more open to experiencing new cultures, learning about what drives people somewhere far away from where we were born. 

That’s how we close the gap, how we start seeing similarities and how we understand. 

By getting out there, walking in someone else’s shoes for a while. Being more open-minded and remembering that borders are man-made lines. That’s all it is – a social construct. 

 

So instead of treating each other like we are from different worlds, we need to remember that we all live on the same planet. 

Let’s choose to see each other’s similarities and accept those differences. 

 

What lessons have you learned from a culture different from your own? Share your stories at a Low Entropy get-together or leave a quick comment below – we love to hear voices from all over the world!

Anxiety: How I Live with It

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From recognition to management, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Kanak Khatri has had plenty of experience with anxiety disorder, and some advice to share on how to actually create value from it.

 

What is Anxiety Disorder?

 

Some days I realise that I am not going to get a lot of sleep because of a minor occurrence in my life. Other days, my nerves get agitated for seemingly no reason. As much as it is human and totally normal to be anxious, nervous and apprehensive sometimes, some people, like myself, have more pronounced and disproportionate experiences. That is anxiety disorder.

 

How Did I Identify It?

 

I had lived with anxiety disorder for several years before I realized that I needed help. The first step towards managing it was when I identified and accepted that I had anxiety, and now I had to live it. So, how did I identify my anxiety disorder? One effect of my anxiety disorder was its physical symptoms.  Anxiety manifests physically with symptoms like rapid heart rate, sweaty palms, upset stomach, rapid breathing and restlessness. All this was happening from merely thinking about future events like a quiz or an interview, and sometimes for no reason.  I also noticed that my anxiety disorder also affected the relationship that I had with myself. I was trying to be best at everything, and if I wasn’t, I felt shame and guilt. I was exhausted preparing for everything day and night, because nothing seemed good enough. I assumed the worst in every situation; I couldn’t stop the negativity in my train of thought. In addition, when times got tough, I closed off emotionally and avoided any kind of socializing. Although I knew there was something in me that I needed to acknowledge and address, I just did not want to accept it. In retrospect, I realize that if I had addressed it sooner, I’d be even healthier now.

 

How Do I Manage It?

 

Depending on the severity of the anxiety disorder, management may require professional help. This was my case, as it was accentuated by the loss of a close family member. However, many ways in which I manage my anxiety disorder are easy to adopt and adjust. After I identified and acknowledged my anxiety disorder, I started making a list of things that triggered my anxiety. This included deadlines, interviews, doing something new (like starting a new job) and basically most things that involved uncertainty. These triggers caused my mind to overflow with thoughts and what-ifs.

 

Scheduling my daily life and following a routine: Following making the list, I had to manage those things in such a way that they did not give me anxiety. Knowing I had control kept my anxiety in check. The most significant change that helped me was micromanaging my days and knowing the things I would get done each day. I would set reminders in my calendar, so I never missed any important event. For things that required preparation, like an interview, I gave myself plenty of time, so I would not exhaust myself. My scheduling also included waking up and sleeping at a fixed time, to give all my activities enough time.

 

Improving my relationship with myself: I came to terms with the fact that I do not have to be perfect. Making mistakes is what makes me human and gives me room for improvement. And I can never be totally prepared for life; I must deal with things as they come. I also made myself understand that everything has a chance of failure, and that I should not be negative when things don’t work. In other words, I took rein of my train of thoughts and now I know when to stop.

 

Practicing relaxation techniques: Two of the practices that really helped me were meditation and using a diffuser. I regularly meditate with a candle, which involves simply focusing on my breathing and the candle’s flame. I feel it makes me really focused, releasing a bit of anxiety with every breath I exhale. Using essential oils like lavender and chamomile with a diffuser has also helped me relax during the day and sleep at night.

 

How Has My Life Changed?

 

These changes did not happen overnight. For me, they took a few weeks to implement, and I still have a few sporadic bad days. But having a routine and schedule have not only reduced my anxiety, it has also given me advantages in life. My over-preparation proved to be fruitful for my interviews and my job, in general. There used to be a time when my anxiety was my weakness, but in time I believe it will turn it into my strength. This is how I live with my anxiety. I hope my story helps you live with yours too.

 

Do you have experience with anxiety? How do you manage it? Let our compassionate community know on our social media channels, in the comments below or at a Low Entropy meeting!

Too Hot to Handle

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Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Prateek Sur opens up about how climate change has affected his personal and family life, and how it pushed him to move from India to Canada.

 

There is no denying the fact that climate change is real. Having grown up in India and having stayed in a few different cities across the country that have varied climates, I can clearly say that the climatic condition has changed a lot.

 

I grew up in a city called Jamshedpur for the first 17 years of my life, and ended up enjoying all climatic and weather conditions. We used to have summers between mid-March and mid-June. Then the monsoons used to last from mid-June to the end of August. After that, in September and October, we would have the autumn season, and from November till mid-February we would have the winters. Lastly, from mid-February to mid-March, we would have the spring season.

 

But this weather pattern has completely changed now. It’s been almost 15 years now since I lived in Jamshedpur, but I visit every now and then, as my parents live there. Whenever I go, the weather is never what it used to be in my childhood. The summers are drastically longer; the winters have reduced considerably. The interim seasons of spring and autumn are somewhat lost or perhaps reduced to just a couple of days. Seeing this, I feel that climate change is indeed real.

 

After my initial 17 years in Jamshedpur, I moved to the city of Chennai in the southern part of India. The weather here was completely different from what I was used to in Jamshedpur. It was summers throughout the year except for mid-November to mid-January, when it used to rain heavily. I stayed there for five years and never had I ever experienced any form of winter there.

 

For the last 10 years, I have been living in Mumbai, which also has pretty much the same weather as Chennai. It has summers year-round, with monsoons coming in from June to August. The monsoons are when the weather is the best in Mumbai, as you don’t feel the enormous humid heat. However, the rains are so intense that during the monsoons you’ll be forced to stay indoors for most of the day, as the roads will get clogged due to waterlogging.

 

I’ve also stayed in a number of other cities, domestic and abroad, albeit for shorter durations. However, it has almost always been in the tropics.

 

One very prominent thing that I’ve noticed all through my life is the increase in the summers and the intensity of the heat. We all have heard about how, due to the greenhouse effect caused by pollution and the enormous amount of carbon monoxide we’re producing year-round, the Earth’s temperature is increasing slowly and steadily. The ice caps in Antarctica and the Arctic Circle are melting at an alarming rate. That is causing sea levels to rise, and there will come a day in the next 70-80 years when the coastal cities will be submerged in the oceans or seas. A city like Mumbai is one of the top five that are facing this impending elimination from the face of the Earth.

 

The heat levels in Mumbai used to be at a year-round high of 42 degree centigrade in the 1990s, and now it has gone up to 48 degrees centigrade. It is predicted that, in a couple of decades, the maximum temperature would exceed 50 degrees centigrade.

 

This is one of the reasons why I am planning to move to Canada, possibly Vancouver. I have been an advocate of living in my country all my life, but the climatic conditions in Mumbai are growing unbearable. On top of that, the amount of pollution that we’re living in never seems to lessen.

 

For my family, I would like to live in a better climatic condition. Climatic changes are affecting my family adversely and I would love to lead a better life where I can have peace of mind in a place with cooler weather.

 

In closing, I would like to emphasize that climate change is real. We, as a human race, have all the facilities and technologies to improve it. The only thing needed is the will to stand up and change ourselves and our ways. The sooner we do that, the longer our generations will survive. We have to understand that nature and climate is not something that we have inherited from our ancestors; rather it’s something that we have borrowed from future generations, and we need to preserve it so that our grandchildrens’ grandchildren can also enjoy the benefits of the environment.

 

How are things where you live? Let us know in the comments below or on any of our social media channels!

In Interesting Times

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How long will you slide? When something awful happens and it seems like you can’t stop feeling like you did that day, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Mike Vaness has some words of advice to get you to the other side.

 

Have you heard that it’s an ancient curse to say, “May you live in interesting times”? While our lives are full of routines and ruts, doing the same thing day in and day out, some people find security and comfort in a predictable life, while others cannot stand it. However, no one ever expects to have everything you know change all in one day – in one instant. No one is prepared for the shocking moment when you find out you were adopted; the moment when police officers are at your door looking for you; the moment when your doctor declares that you have a serious illness; the moment when you catch a glimpse of a car as it slams into the side of your vehicle. You are overwhelmed: “What’s going on! This can’t be happening! Why me! This always happens to someone else!” These are the things you hear about in gossip about others, about someone else. The thing we forget is that to everyone else in the world, you are the “someone else.”

 

Yet in these moments, and despite our greatest wishes, life somehow continues on; your story isn’t over. The light from that ever-stubborn sun creeps through the curtains in your room, and you wake up. Another day has come, despite your most stringent protests to the contrary. Time is indomitable: it does not stand still, and that is probably for the best. The following days, weeks, or even months are tough to endure. You have to deal with things that you wished you never would, but I can assure you: it is best to confront these head on as becoming avoidant will only delay the inevitable. Now, yes I can hear you saying, “Oh sure, it’s easy to just say that, but how do I make it work?” But you can always be assured of two things. One: tomorrow will always come, no matter what you are dealing with, and with it comes the chance of new beginnings. Two: no matter how bad things are, no matter how hard things seem, everything comes to an end. This second one may seem a little dark, but remember, this ending also applies to all the sadness, anger and frustration you are feeling. 

 

I’ve personally experienced this. Initially it felt like there was nothing that could help, that my entire life was over and that there was no coming out the other side. This is how things can feel: that your entire life is swallowed up by this large and imposing reality – but there are some things that I felt helped me, slowly but steadily, emerge from these overwhelming feelings. The first was to take stock of what I did still have. I still had my partner, my friends and my family to support me. I still had my home, a place where I could feel safe and comfortable. These were things that were present in my life previously, and they had not changed. I reminded myself that I still had agency and control over some aspects of my life. I started to remind myself of what I still could do for myself, and did not take anything for granted. I could still cook for myself, I could still decide what my space looked like, I could go out for a walk when I wanted to. While these on their own do not seem like much, they allowed me to feel like I had some control over my life, and every small step can have a big impact. 

 

Furthermore, please do not feel that you have to go through this process alone! There will always be someone you can reach out to for help. Even if you lose some people who are close to you, there are always options, like Low Entropy. There will always be people who will be willing to meet you with open arms and helping hands. Despite how hard it can be to seek company when you are feeling lost and depressed, being around people who you trust and love will help push you forward. 

 

I know that this article is just scraping the surface of what it is like to go through an emotionally and physically difficult time in your life, but if you’ve read this far, I can assure you that there are brighter days ahead. While your life may have changed in ways that you could never have expected, it’s just that: a change. It’s not an end. The best thing about change is that it allows you to have experiences and live a life you never thought possible. I know that, while my life took a turn I didn’t expect, it has allowed me to assess the positive things I have, and make other changes for the better, so there has been some good that has come from the experience – and I am grateful for that. 

 

We’re grateful for Mike Vaness. And rainbows! And ducklings! There’s just so much – help us out! What are you grateful for? Build on our list in the comments, on our other social media channels or at a Low Entropy meet-up!

From Jamshedpur

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Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Prateek Sur shares details of his childhood and surroundings in Jamshedpur, a small city in India, and how they both shaped his life and career.

 

The place where I grew up had an enormous effect on the way I think today as a mature adult. I grew up in the city of Jamshedpur, which is in the Indian state of Jharkhand. It used to be in the state of Bihar, until November 15, 2000 when the state was divided in two.

 

Jamshedpur is one of the very few planned cities in India, and the reason for that is it’s an industrial town. Two of the biggest companies in India, Tata Steel, and Tata Motors, have their biggest plants in this city. The entire district is a goldmine for minerals like iron ore, coal, copper, bauxite, etc. That’s primarily the reason why numerous industries were established in Jamshedpur and the adjoining cities over the past 100-plus years.

 

Growing up in such an industrial district, you invariably end up knowing a lot about minerals that are hidden deep inside our earth. You end up having a fascination for geography and minerals. That was probably why I loved the subject the most when in school. Even though I didn’t end up pursuing it as a career, I still have a fascination for the geography of the varied places I visit and read about. My wife always asks me what I do with that unnecessary information about a place that I might never end up visiting in my entire life. But I find reading books and watching shows about the lifestyle of varied cities from across the world helps me understand how people from different places behave, and what good things I can pick from their culture, which I can then incorporate into my life. I find pleasure in that.  

 

Also, I am a Bengali by birth. Bengalis are known to be readers and thinkers. That’s probably why, when I am on the public transport traveling to work, I am the only one who’s reading a book to while away the time while the rest are all glued to their smartphones. I enjoy reading a lot more, and I credit that to the zillions of books that I’ve read growing up. My dad is a voracious reader, and all through my childhood, I saw him reading a lot of books, which inculcated in me the same habit. This also resulted in me having a better hold on the English language and its grammar than any of my friends in school and college. That’s why I ended up being a writer, while most of my friends are either engineers, doctors or businesspeople.

 

Bengalis are also known for their inclination towards creative arts. In every Bengali family you will likely find that the son or the daughter is either enrolled in a singing or a dance class, or learning how to paint or play some instrument. My mom was a great singer and has a bachelor’s degree in music. She got me into singing as well, and I completed a bachelor’s degree in music as well. To this day, I enjoy singing songs and playing the keyboard whenever I have time. Plus, it is a great way to add life to the crowd during house parties.

 

In Jamshedpur, I was Bengali growing up in a predominantly Hindi-speaking society. This resulted in my Hindi being impeccable. That, coupled with my flair for writing, has led to me composing numerous poems in Hindi.

 

My parents were both bankers. Thus the value and importance of money were always instilled in my psyche, right from my childhood. I knew that money was important, and that it was a driving force to having a good life. They instilled in me the sense of wanting to be independent and the urge to make it on my own, without any nepotistic favours. I managed to do that, and I am proud of that fact. Whatever I do, I try to never short-change myself or my work.

 

Also, apart from music, my parents had a huge love for movies. That was passed onto me as I watched numerous films a week right through my childhood. I was watching and re-watching films not just from India, but across the world. That helped me develop a taste for good cinema. I managed to couple that with my love for writing, and today I write movie reviews for a number of print and online publications in India.

 

Finally, my love for living in the big cities emerged as I was growing up in Jamshedpur. It’s a very lousy town, to be honest, and the city shuts down pretty much by 8 p.m. I couldn’t hang out with my friends late in the evening if I wanted to, as nothing was open. It was during those years that I made up my mind that I wanted to live in big cities. Starting from going to college in Chennai to living for almost 10 years in Mumbai, and now being in the process of shifting over to Vancouver – I have always preferred big city life. The germ of that infatuation began to grow during my childhood in Jamshedpur.

 

In closing, I would like to say that where someone grows up has an immense effect on the way they end up living life as an adult. Right from the society within which they grew up to their parents’ backgrounds, to the city they grew up in – everything contributes to that person’s overall growth. All these things from my childhood have slowly and steadily impacted my adult life. You are a sum total of all that you’ve seen, felt and learned in your childhood.

 

What has stuck with you from your childhood? What environmental factors have shaped your life? Share your journey with us at a Conscious Connections meeting or in the comments below!

Optimism, By Design

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Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Amara Camacho shares five ideas to boost the positivity of our home environments and, in turn, ourselves.

 

When it comes to boosting one’s mood, we often forget how great an influence our home environment is on our overall being. We keep relying on outside sources to make us happier but fail to consider that it begins right at home, where we start our day from and, essentially, end it. 

 

If there’s one thing that I’ve gained from spending the majority of my time at home as a result of the pandemic, it’s that small changes can make the greatest difference. Here are five tips that can make your home environment a positive influence, and even a mood booster. 

  • Increase natural light and sunlight at home.

Do you ever notice how much happier we get when it’s summertime, the day’s longer and the sun is peeking in through our windows? Natural light at home increases productivity, encourages higher levels of energy, is a source of vitamin D and generally helps to improve your mood. One way of increasing natural light is by simply opening up your curtains, blinds or screens, and allowing the sunlight to enter your space. However, this may not always be an option, or the weather forecast may not be to our liking, which would require us to turn to other sources. There are options to install light bulbs that emit natural-looking light or make small purchases of sun lamps that mimic sunlight. 

  • Declutter and recycle. 

The environment you surround yourself with at home, like your room, the living room or even the kitchen, are major influences on the state of your overall being. By decluttering and recycling, you’re not only creating a cleaner space, you’re also disposing and clearing out the clutter that is no longer serving a purpose for you. This act will allow you to rejuvenate, cleanse and have a sense of starting over. It will give you the opportunity to detach yourself from materialistic attachments that might be holding you back from growing or discovering new things. Additionally, recycling these possessions by donating them to thrift stores or those in need will also be a great chance to contribute and help the less fortunate. What’s important to remember is that decluttering doesn’t mean being a minimalist. It’s taking away things that are cluttering your space, making you sad, irritable, lazy and anything but motivated. 

  • Create designated “focus” spaces.

Now that you’ve decluttered, you’re probably wondering what to do with your new (or old) space. Creating focus spaces is vital in maintaining a balanced lifestyle, which then also nurtures a balanced mood. If you work in the same space you sleep, like in your bedroom, it mentally confuses you. It might make you less productive and feel less motivated to get out of bed. It’s important to have a division between home life and work life, especially at a time like this, where so much work has become remote. Designated spaces at home for work, rest and play minimize distractions and temptations to partake in irrelevant activities, while keeping you focused and positively influencing your mood. 

  • Satisfy your five senses.

What’s more fun than decorating your own home? Sometimes, indulging in a fun and no-rule activity like decorating can actually make you feel better and brighter. If you spend most of your time in one space, it would be a great relief if you loved it too – like the things you smell, see, feel, consume and hear! Make your home, especially your bedroom, appealing to you, because if you like your environment, you’ll be more content. Have your walls painted in a colour that calms you, adjust the smell by buying scented candles,and play the music that you love. The adjustments are all up to you, but satisfying your five senses will boost your mood when you’re at home and even as you leave it to begin your day. 

  • Share your goals and intentions with the people you live with.

It’s great to follow these tips and I’m sure it will help immensely to boost your mood. However, if those you live with do not support or create a similar space as you, it can be challenging for any of these approaches to serve their purpose. It might even be more challenging, the more people who live with you. Have a conversation and start small. Talk about what’s good and what needs improvement. Share your goals and intentions, because what you think might be beneficial for you might also be beneficial for someone else. It’s always important to consult those you live with so that you can reach an ultimate solution that benefits everyone. 

 

Your environment is crucial to your overall being. By starting at home and following these simple tips, you can make the greatest impact on boosting your mood!

 

Sources: 

https://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/how-does-your-personal-environment-impact-your-wellbeing

https://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/how-you-can-create-healing-environment-home

https://sustainability.ncsu.edu/blog/changeyourstate/benefits-of-natural-light/

 

How do you shape your environment to improve your mood? Share your interior design tips with our community on our social network platform, or on any of our social media channels!

The Meaning of Community

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Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Grace Cheng tells us all about community – what it means and why it’s the bee’s knees.

 

To me, a community is a group of people who have learned how to communicate openly and honestly with each other. Their relationships grow closer when they share their emotions in moments of celebrating, mourning and rejoicing. Community is made up of both feelings and a set of relationships. Members of a community have a great sense of trust, belonging, safety and caring for one another. The treasured feeling of a community comes from shared experiences and histories.  

 

As we know, life is full of ups and downs, and I thank my community because they have always been there for me in times of sorrows and in times of happiness. My community has taught me to appreciate life more. In times of happiness, we have celebrated together and patted each other’s backs, and in times of sorrow, we have consoled and healed each other.  

 

My community has helped me to build a strong personality. It has given me the heart to love, care and be kind. I have learned the value of community, and they are the ones who carry me when I have fallen, comfort me when I am lost, laugh with me, care for me and walk with me. I learn from my community each day and my gratitude for them only increases as I discover more about myself. My community means the world to me.

 

Community addresses our most fundamental needs in that we want to be loved, we don’t want to be alone and we want to know that we belong somewhere. Real communities give us this sense of home, this sense of family, this sense that these are my peers, this is my tribe and this is where I belong. In this group, we are accepted for who we are. A community gives people a sense of shared identity, that we are together. The sum is larger than the individual parts. This shared identity matters because it takes the group beyond individuals in one-on-one relationships. Many of us express our interests, ambitions and goals through people we spend time with, and community becomes part of our identities.

 

A community is more than a group of people living in the same geographic zone. Communities can be anything from a physical place where people connect, to a virtual space such as social media, to private community groups. Communities put like-minded people together who share similar characteristics and interests. Every community has specific rules and regulations to meet its needs.

 

A community offers a sense of spirit, character and pride that increases the health of its members. 

Being part of a community can make us proud that we are a part of something greater than ourselves.

 

There are many benefits to being part of a community:

 

  • Support: Being part of a community allows us to give support to one other. Supporting each other can help us feel good about ourselves. We live such busy and stressful lives, there is often insufficient time to assist others when they are struggling with their mental and physical wellbeing.
  • Influence: Community brings empowerment. When we feel empowered, we have a sense of control, allowing us to have a positive influence and make a difference to our community members.
  • Sharing: When we share our ideas with others it can stimulate our growth in knowledge and insight, as well as innovation. 
  • Reinforcement: Having a community can reinforce our spirits through us motivating one another to build a positive experience and a sense of togetherness.
  • Connection: A community can help build valuable relationships, connections and a sense of belonging.
  • Resources: Community is a great resource for knowledge.
  • Passion: Community allows us to share ideas that we are passionate about.  

 

Communities play a critical role in every part of our lives. We have communities in our friends, our families, our jobs, our neighbourhoods and other places. We can find community in sports teams, artists, food, music and entertainment. Having a sense of community unites us and gives us a sense of togetherness. It can give us opportunities to connect with people to reach our goals, and make us feel safe and secure.

You know where you can find an awesome community? Riiiight here! If you’ve read enough of these, you probably saw that coming. Still, click on it and join! You heard what Grace said! It’ll be great!

Toxic Masculinity

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You’ve probably heard of the term, and it definitely sounds bad. But what is toxic masculinity, why should we be concerned about it and how can we address it ? Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Elizabeth Atkinson explains.

 

Toxic masculinity is when masculine traits are taken to the extreme, where they become harmful for everyone. When discussing toxic masculinity, it is not an attempt to say that everything masculine is inherently toxic. It is instead a warping of seemingly positive traits into dangerous traits and ideologies. It is also important to note that men are frequently encouraged to engage in such toxic behaviour from outside sources such as parents, family, friends and media. A few examples include the phrases “man up,” “be a man” and even starting as young as “boys will be boys.” All of these phrases encourage and idealize a version of masculinity that is being more and more recognized as troublesome. 

 

Some positive masculine traits include strength, courage and independence. These traits can be taken to the extreme to where they are no longer positive. A few common traits associated with toxic masculinity include lack of emotions, lack of social awareness, aggression, exaggerated competitiveness, domination, violence, isolation and sexism. There is often a disconnect that obscures problematic masculine traits with seemingly positive ones. For example, seeking help for mental or physical health is often viewed as a sign of weakness. Therefore, men who want to show strength and resilience are less likely to get treatment and more likely to suffer emotionally or physically. This is incredibly dangerous not just physically, but emotionally, as men are likely to suffer from body image issues, depression, stress, anxiety, etc., and they are socially pressured to suffer alone. This is one example of how seemingly positive traits can have negative effects. 

 

Toxic masculinity can affect everyone, not just the individual with toxic traits. Toxic masculinity can also take a toll on both romantic and platonic relationships. For romantic relationships, the role toxic masculinity plays may be subtle. Some toxic traits to look for include one partner making all the decisions, especially financially. Financial independence is important, and that independence can be taken away by a partner who wants to feel in control of the finances as well as other major life decisions. Needing control is one example of toxic masculinity that can negatively impact a relationship. Another example is men who do not share the housework evenly. This example goes back to traditional gender roles, in which cleaning a house would be considered a woman’s duty. By not helping, such men are clearly implying, either verbally or through their actions, that they are somehow above doing “women’s work.” This implies that they believe they are better than women, which is why sexism is so prevalent in toxic masculinity and its effects on others. 

 

Toxic masculinity holds perceived masculinity on a pedestal by rejecting and dismissing people and things that do not fit into the box that is “masculinity.” I put this in quotation marks, as masculinity is actually a perceived concept that is up to each person to define on their own terms. There is no one person or source who gets to decide what masculinity means or how it should be embodied. This false feeling of masculine superiority often leads to issues for those who don’t exude masculinity in a traditional fashion. This can lead to violence and bullying. A common complaint with toxic masculinity is that it is antifeminine. The perspective of toxic masculinity is that masculinity is better than femininity. Therefore women, and those who prefer to exude more feminine qualities, are othered and treated as less than equal. Some examples of this that may be enacted consciously or subconsciously include broad issues such as sexism, to specific issues, such as passing over women for job promotion opportunities for leadership positions, based on the idea that men make better leaders. 

 

In order to combat toxic masculinity, one does not have to denounce all things traditionally masculine. As previously stated, masculinity can be defined by every person on their own terms. Simply talking more about toxic masculinity is a way of subverting it, as it goes against the idea that reaching out for help is shameful or bad. Another way to fight toxic masculinity is to reflect and think critically about our daily actions. Focus on why we do the things we do, as this is a way to check your own privilege. By checking your privilege, you are able to adjust your actions moving forward if you find that you are in the wrong. This self-reflection is key for everyone to help put an end to toxic masculinity.

 

One way to avoid isolation and get in touch with your emotions is to hop into a Conscious Connections session, with its diverse and supportive participants. Or if you’re not ready for that just yet, you can reach out to our community on one of our many social media platforms – we can’t wait to hear from you!

Never Give Up

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In one magic moment, near some orange trees by the Caspian Sea, Simin Ghaffari – now in Low Entropy’s work experience program – discovered a source of resilience and gratitude within the horrifying violence of war.

 

When I was 24 years old, my country, Iran, was war-torn. My father was an army officer, and my fiancé was killed after he delivered a speech in his class. We had a lot of difficult times with money, work, etc. I was so broken inside and so deeply depressed that I had no hope at all. At that young age, I had suddenly become responsible for taking care of my mother and my six siblings. 

 

Wherever I looked, people were suffering from the war and trying to bring about a revolution, especially the people from the south and west of Iran. All of these people took refuge in the rest of Iran and Afghanistan. Iran had become a refugee state, especially to the north, by the Caspian Sea.

 

In that same area, I had my little cottage, which had a garden filled with orange trees. A day before Nowruz – the first day of the spring season – began, I went to my cottage with all my family members. Would you believe it . . . our decision to leave that day allowed us to just narrowly escape missile and suicide bomb attacks.

 

I had a long walk by the Caspian Sea and was crying to myself. I was angry at the blue sky and nature. I couldn’t see people suffering and the weather changing into a beautiful spring at the same time. I found myself standing in my yard, tired of my life and constantly wondering how much more I could handle, when I noticed that the gardener hadn’t cleaned the yard at all. He also hadn’t cleaned a portion of the building where the wall and house were partially broken.

 

Amidst the debris, I saw a plant with tiny flowers smiling brightly at the sunshine. The flower knew how to grow up in that messy, cement-laden area. The flower rose to greet the sunshine and it seemed like it had grown almost a meter from the last time I had seen it.

 

At that moment, I realized something: if this little plant could fight for its life, then why should I not do the same with mine? I felt ashamed of myself. I felt ashamed to consider myself weak, to be displeased with nature and, above all, to be angry at God’s will. Soon afterward, I started to clean the area. Once it was done, I touched the plant and I exclaimed magic in my native Farsi language:

 

“Mojezeh!”

 

So what’s the moral of the story – never give up. The plant taught me that lesson by fighting all odds and coming out victorious. I went home and encouraged everyone to stand up and clean when my mother started cooking. I let strangers come inside to use our washroom and water and shared food among us.

 

Since that day, I promised myself that, no matter how hard life became, I wouldn’t give up.

 

Every spring since then, I renew myself and try being one with nature. I have become a minimalist and actively promote peace. I also devote a lot of my time to nature photography. Above all, I am thankful for what I learned that day. I now understand the creator more and am thankful for the message I received that day.

 

Since then, whenever there have been many ups and downs in my life, I don’t get flustered, and I don’t ever give up.

 

Connect with Simin and others at Low Entropy’s community site, any of our social media channels, or simply leave some positive vibes in the comment section below!

A Place You Love

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Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Daniel Wilkens takes us on a walk through a secluded, beloved place.

 

We are surrounded by chaos. Threats of job loss gnaw away at our feelings of security. We are bombarded with images of unrest and upheaval. Our very lives are threatened by a disease that seems determined to hunt us down – an enemy we can’t even see.  

 

These factors and hundreds of others are fixtures of our current society. These stressors take a huge emotional toll. They suck out our spirit, deplete us of our internal resources and erode our confidence. They rob us of our ability (or our perception of our ability) to protect ourselves and our loved ones. 

 

It’s never been more important to find a way to ground ourselves, to take a step back from the madness. ‘Getting away from it all’ is a cliché – but regaining focus can sometimes mean literally and physically ’getting away.’ Think of a place of fond past memories, a place of happiness or solitude – a place that’s important to you personally. I’m going to suggest that one way to stay sane in a crazy world is to frequent a location that soothes you. Of course we need to follow whatever current health and safety guidelines are required, including masks and our ability to social distance. Be smart and safe. But when possible, think about a place you love and go there. 

 

The Delight of Discovery 

 

There are a lot of places I hold near and dear. The one I’m thinking of right now is a tiny beach on the south coast of Lake Erie, Ontario. By ‘tiny’ I mean a few hundred meters of shoreline at most. It’s not pristine or perfectly groomed. It doesn’t get the attention of the bigger stretches of sand like Port Stanley or Nickel Beach. The narrow access roadway leads down to a parking area big enough to accommodate six cars. While some parents bring their kids on a hot August afternoon and a few hardy locals make the trek down to walk their dogs, it is definitely secluded. It’s not remote, but it’s not overrun either.

 

Sometimes traces of humankind are all that’s visible. Holes may dot the sand-scape where beach umbrellas sat, shielding their owners from the searing sun. Small canine footprints follow smaller human footprints wherever they wander. More often, it’s nature leaving clues behind. Seagull tracks, raccoon tracks and possum tracks are evident at water’s edge. Tracks of coyotes or skunks will lead to a half-eaten fish, its final resting place a shallow scar on the dunes. Even mice or voles can leave their mini prints in the silky wet sand of a May morning. Every set of tracks tells a tale if you care to read them. 

In the summer it is a hot spot, scorched grasses waving over sizzling sand. In the late fall the storms come, howling their rage and lambasting the pier with sky-scraping waves. The winter is quiet and white, ice stretching out well into the bay. In the spring it smells fresh, the water still freezing cold for those anxious enough for summer to give it a splash.

 

The delight of discovery knows no seasons. Driftwood is strewn and scattered, twisting into magnificent art forms. Flat stones call out, begging to be skipped. Beach glass is everywhere, polished by tides and glinting in the bright orange light. Fossil shells have stories to tell, feathers and bones do too.

 

I had a period where I visited almost daily for a few months and I thought of it in my head as a place of familiarity, a place of sameness. Which it is, in a fashion. But more than that, it is a place of perpetual change. When I did finally make the association between this tranquil getaway and constant flux, it was almost a revelation. The relief I feel when I visit comes not from predictability, but from the anticipation of seeing something new.

 

This short stretch of water meeting shoreline is always in motion. Not just season-to-season as you might expect, but day-to-day and minute-by-minute. It’s never the same twice and I find that very reassuring.

 

Identify, Embrace, Energize

 

Your place of comfort doesn’t have to be as dramatic as a hidden, wind-swept beach. It can be your usual park bench, a historic clock tower, a fountain in the city square or a favourite old chair. Places that can be visited safely and privately. What’s important is to identify these places and embrace their potency. A place you love is a place of power, of rejuvenation and regeneration. A place you love is somewhere you can go and reaffirm to yourself, ‘I know who I am’ and ‘I feel stronger now, I can face my challenges.’

 

Think about a place you love, and go there.

 

Where would you go? Let us know in the comments, or take the very short journey over to a special place that Low Entropy has created for our inclusive and supportive community and share your memories and experiences!

Lessons Learned from Gardening

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Does the simple act of growing plants also help you to grow as a person? Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Robert Thompson was curious to find out, so he chatted with two family members about gardening and how their experiences might have affected their personal development. 

 

What does gardening mean to you? That’s an interesting question because of the wide variety of answers it could produce. To some, gardening is a pleasant hobby, while to others, it is something more – a passion, or even a vocation – but to most people, it is somewhere in between. I decided to ask a couple of my family members what their thoughts were on gardening. My mother is somewhat new to gardening, while my grandmother has many years of experience, so I thought it would be interesting to see the similarities and differences between the answers they give.

 

Firstly, I wanted to get a clear picture of just how much experience each of my family members had with gardening. 

 

My grandmother has been gardening since she was just a young kid, which means she has some 40-50 years of experience! Originally, she focused on flower and landscape gardening, but in recent years she has also been having fun with growing her own vegetables. I do not know how her skills have developed over the years, but she seems to be something of an expert now. 

 

On the other hand, my mother is much more green (unlike the plants she grows). Historically, she has not had quite as much success making plants grow as my grandmother has, but she continues to put in an admirable effort, which is starting to pay off. She started gardening about five years ago in an effort to make the backyard look better. Since then, she has also started to grow a lot of potted plants. 

 

I noticed that, although they had different reasons for getting into gardening in the first place, they actually enjoyed it for largely the same reasons. 

 

Both of them talked about how gardening gives them a great sense of peace. This sense of peace is apparently derived from two main factors. First is the fact that gardening allows one to immerse oneself in nature, which has been proven to have a soothing effect on almost everyone. They also both mentioned that gardening allows them to take their minds off of other problems. Being able to forget about all the stresses of one’s life and focus entirely on caring for plants sounds quite therapeutic indeed. I suspect part of the reason people have such an easy time doing so is because of the aforementioned connection to nature. Gardens tend to not have very many of the objects that you might associate with stress, such as computers or paperwork, while your own house almost certainly has these items in places where they can easily be seen and remind you of work, taxes or whatever else might be getting in the way of your peace of mind. 

 

In addition to being an excellent stress-reliever, it appears that gardening can help with personal growth, as well. My mother and grandmother talked about what they have learned from their time gardening, and, despite their large differences in experience, their answers were incredibly similar. 

 

One of the most obvious attributes you can learn from gardening is patience. Plants do not grow overnight, but instead have to be gently coaxed for weeks, months, or even years at a time. My mother can be an impatient person sometimes, and I have noticed that she occasionally becomes frustrated by the apparent lack of progress that is being made in her garden. I initially hypothesized that this trait might be one of the primary reasons she has not been as successful a gardener as my grandmother, rather than the fact that she does not have as much experience. After thinking about it some more, however, it seems to be that, to a certain extent, one of those things is a product of the other, rather than them being mutually exclusive. 

 

Another attribute that my mother and grandmother both talked about was perseverance. From what I had seen, gardening came very easily and naturally to my grandmother, but she contradicted my expectations by talking about gardening as a process of trial and error. While I hadn’t expected her to be able to magically do everything perfectly, I was somewhat surprised by the amount of mistakes that she made. But rather than focusing on the quantity of mistakes that were made, I think it is more helpful to see what caused those mistakes and what was done to avoid repeating them. One mistake that my grandmother tended to make was putting plants in places they would not be able to survive (for example, planting something that needs a lot of sun in a shady area). As it happens, this is the very same thing that my mother talked about when I asked her to talk about one of her own failures. I suppose there aren’t too many ways that you can mess up while gardening, so I wasn’t particularly surprised by this. Anyway, the aspect to focus on is not the mistake that was made, but rather what happened next. Both of my family members had the determination to try again after making a mistake: again, and again, and again. Just like wild weeds become incredibly resilient, we too can become resistant to failure. Gardening is an excellent activity to help cultivate that resilience because, as mentioned before, it is generally a low-stress activity. This means that you won’t feel as overwhelmed or scared of making mistakes as you might while doing something like playing a sport where you could feel pressure from teammates or opponents.

 

My mother mentioned one other point which I found to be interesting. She talked about how she spent a lot of time trying to grow flowers because she likes how they look, but unfortunately it was nearly impossible to do so given the climate of her yard. She tried for a long time, but was unable to keep them from dying. Eventually, she came to realize something which I took careful note of because I found it to be applicable to much more than just gardening. “Getting plants that will be able to thrive in your garden is much better than getting plants that you like but won’t be able to survive in your garden,” she says. This is really quite profound because it uses gardening as an analogy to explain a very important concept. Sometimes, we have to sacrifice things that we like because they won’t fit into the bigger picture. For example, someone might really enjoy candy, but that person will have to choose to not eat candy every day because being healthy is more important. By looking at the grand scheme of things, sacrifices like those will always be beneficial to you in the end. 

 

Gardening can be hard work, so I think it’s important to mention that it can be very rewarding as well. Of course, there is the fact that, by working so hard to make your garden thrive, you are creating a private paradise for yourself to relax in. Additionally, it’s possible that the fruits of your effort might literally be fruits (or vegetables)! Finally, there is the sense of pride you get from seeing your garden: whether you feel proud to show it off to friends and family, or you simply enjoy it for its own sake. You won’t see any progress overnight, but when comparing photos taken over the months or years, it will be apparent and gratifying to see how far you’ve come.

 

What have you learned from your garden? And for those of you who don’t garden, are you interested in starting? Let us know why (or why not) in the comments below, or mention your favourite vegetable at a Low Entropy meeting!

Sustainability, Interwoven

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Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Joelle Chia didn’t just learn how to crochet – Joelle learned how to knit together a plan to tackle social, economic and environmental sustainability issues on a local level.

 

When you hear the word “sustainability,” what first comes to mind? Sustainability is a word that has been increasingly used in the past 10 years. It has been used to describe the phenomenon of electric vehicles and new forms of energy, and to uplift environmental causes. In broad terms, sustainability is meeting our own needs without endangering future generations’ ability to meet their own. Although the concept of sustainability is not new, it is becoming abundantly clear that living sustainably is not something we should do, it’s something we must do. However, this concept doesn’t just apply to the environment. Social, environmental and economic sustainability all play a role in creating a sustainable world. Over the summer of 2020, I was able to witness the effects of these three pillars of sustainability and draw a personal conclusion.

 

The world produces more than 380 million tonnes of plastic every year, most of which end up as pollutants that enter the oceans and elsewhere in the natural environment. This large phenomenon translates to a smaller scale when looking at a local community. One day, I decided to take a walk through downtown Vancouver. As I stumbled upon different neighborhoods, it was entirely too common to see plastic waste lying around. Plastic bags, bottles and packaging flew down the streets as cars whizzed past, polluting the local atmosphere throughout. And as I walked back to the train, I passed an area of Vancouver that was notorious for its large homeless population. The buildings were decayed and stale lights casted an eerie glow on the faces of those slumped in corners. It was then that I asked myself, “Is there a way for me to relieve these issues firsthand, with the resources I already have?” 

 

And so, together with a group of nine like-minded individuals the following summer, we decided to target leading environmental and local issues for a government-funded project. Two topics we decided to simultaneously address were homelessness and plastic waste. The goal of our project was to upcycle plastic bags into crocheted sleeping mats, which would then be donated to homeless shelters. By doing so, we would be able to transform typical single-use plastic into reusable sleeping mats. Over the course of two months, we hosted a plastic bag drive and brought in over 1000 single-use bags. Each of us learned to crochet plastic bags by tying bags together to, essentially, create “yarn.” In the end, over 30 mats were created and successfully delivered to a homeless shelter in the Lower Mainland.

 

When we visited the shelter to drop off sleeping mats, I was touched by the stories of those who regularly visited the shelter. Many individuals were just looking for a warm meal or a place to stay the night. Social and economic sustainability include basic necessities that can be accessed by all in order to keep themselves, their families, and their communities healthy and secure. Seeing the homeless shelter show enthusiasm and appreciation towards the sleeping mats made me evaluate my own life, and be grateful for the small things in life that were easily overlooked. Thinking back to that evening when I walked through downtown, economic and social sustainability standards were not met. However, now that my earlier question was answered and I was able to use my resources to instill sustainability in the local community, a glimmer of hope shone through. 

 

In order for future generations to thrive and meet their needs, all pillars of sustainability must be met. Human well-being and the well-being of society are integral to what sustainability stands for, and they are both important aspects that should not be cast aside. So how can such a huge concept be applicable to a single person or small crowd? To me, sustainability is a lifestyle. Whether it be buying green products, donating to local charities, reading up on world events or even just recycling, all these small changes to one’s lifestyle can change the world for the better. When I took on the project last summer, my goal was not to “fix” all the problems I saw. Rather, I wanted to create positive change by encouraging a sustainable mindset for myself and those around me. By using resources that are already available, we can generate new perspectives, and eventually the issues of our world could subside as we learn to live in harmony. 

 

What kind of changes have you made to move toward sustainability? What might you do in the future? Let us know in the comments, on one of our social media platforms, or at a Conscious Connections meeting!

Outside-In

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Low Entropy Volunteer Writer James Phan wonders if, by saving the planet, we aren’t also saving ourselves as well.

 

What if environmental recovery was presented as the surface-level goal of waste reduction, with self-development as its profound depth? 

 

There are two ways to approach our manufactured waste dilemma. It seems the most popular dialogue involves media blaring about environmental impact, because our ecosystem is grand but fragile to human destruction. We are inundated with messages of humanity irreversibly damaging eco-diversity and climate patterns, threatening our food and resource sustainability, as well as our medicinal and technological development, all the while creating uncertain health outcomes.

 

The alternative dialogue is about you. 

 

What does focusing on becoming the best version of yourself have to do with reducing waste?

 

Reducing waste challenges the way you think about you and the world. Environmentalists and the heroic alike understand that thinking big is valuable – it’s important to envision greatness – but that’s only part of the equation for achievement. To create sustained progress to save the planet, it’s about starting small with what you have now: this relies on your ability to develop your thinking and align your behavior. Treat the habit of reducing waste as a stepping stone for expanding self-development, for a good cause. Anyone can grow from it.

 

The billions of us humans are energy-hungry from birth. There are so many factors contributing to our wastefulness that we’ll explore, with the goal of self-improvement on the way to a less wasteful you. You are not to be shamed for having wasteful habits, but we are all responsible for creating positive change.

 

Emotional intelligence

 

Listening to yourself in a non-judgmental way is a skill you can pick up anywhere at any point, and it can do wonders to your sense of fulfillment and mental health. Have you heard of emotional eating or emotional shopping? We’re living in a society where addictive activities are increasingly tied to our emotions. This kind of addictive behavior more easily ingrains itself in us when we lose touch with our own emotions, but when we recognize and accept our emotions – thus improving our emotional intelligence – we’re more able to reduce waste through awareness and control of our consumer habits. 

 

  • Pause and reflect. The next time you feel a craving to eat or shop, gently ask yourself which emotions are taking jabs at you. Is there more to your hunger or desire, like frustration, despair, inadequacy, sadness or other types of distress? What’s the discomfort level like, where do you think it’s coming from, and why is it coming from there? Take your time with this. Remember, it’s okay to not be okay. Buying and eating may be ways to numb yourself from the emotional truths that feel too shameful to be heard.

 

  • Breathe. Humans love impulse by default. It’s higher-level thinking that takes a bit more effort. With breath control and exercises, you’ll be able to access this level of cognition more smoothly and efficiently. When you feel your next impulsive urge to consume, try taking a minute to focus only on deep breaths, in order to clear your mind and calm the emotions bouncing off of its walls. 

 

  • Track your cues. This world is shared, but your perceptions and triggers are uniquely yours. Everyone has their own triggers for emotions which, in extreme cases, relate to trauma and addiction. The moment something excites or provokes you, analyze what might be causing this, such as images, sounds, words or environmental cues. Understanding the sources of your triggers will help you control your exposure to them. After all, willpower isn’t infinite.

 

Marketing Awareness

 

You know who knows emotional intelligence really well? Those who manipulate it. Let’s look at consumerism through a marketing lens. As much as I am a nerd for marketing strategies, especially for the beautiful creativity involved, there are established practices that are morally questionable. The innocent definition of marketing is to propagate news of a product or service so that a business generates capital via purchases from, hopefully, loyal customers. Over time, marketing evolved to be science-based for faster and bigger sales. Some marketing targets your emotional vulnerability. Self-development, then, is about increasing your critical thinking to be aware of marketing techniques like the ones below:

 

  • Question the new trend. General Motors CEO Alfred P. Sloan created the concept of planned obsolescence to change the economy. When people had everything they needed, people stopped buying, which meant less revenue. So his marketing team persuaded the masses to always want newer models of his cars by including features that would make the old, still-working ones feel inferior by comparison. These days, it’s still all about the latest phone or fashion, superfood or trend.

 

  • Question the beautiful. If you can’t sell the product, sell the package. For example, sure, Sugarfina confections use higher quality ingredients for their candies, but do you think they would sell at luxury boutiques if it wasn’t for the pretty packaging? Consider what you’re buying: the display or the product.

 

  • Question your impulses. Returning to emotional intelligence, marketing agents know that almost all purchases are emotional purchases. We feel first, and then we justify with a facade of reasoning and logic. Think hard about what ads, packaging and displays are trying to tap into (besides your wallet). If it isn’t something urgent, then you can always delay your purchase and take some time to consider this.

 

Compassion

 

Improving yourself through reducing waste involves being connected to everyone and the planet, including yourself. Many compassionate people practice self-compassion and self-compassion breeds compassionate behavior. Without this foundation in you, it’s easy to be inspired to reduce waste at first, but then revert to wasteful habits. Mind these tips to help you grow spiritually while recalibrating your consumer habits.

 

  • Practice gratitude. The meal you just ate or the awesome new shoes you now sport, what went into their manufacture? The resources involved, the transactions, the lives. The waste. Expressing gratitude to all the effort and energy required to serve you will make you realize how awesome it is to be enjoying some things, yet also how insensitively excessive they might be. Plus, gratitude has been found in research to reduce stress, and improve sleep and overall mood. That’s a win-win.

 

  • Practice consideration. The more we consume, the more factories built, the more pollutants created, it all means more illnesses claiming lives. Check out articles about Cancer Alley, riddled with industrial plants. Read about India’s plastic waste crisis: after monsoon season, plastics in dumps fill with water and become breeding grounds for disease-carrying mosquitoes. Think of the impact you have as a purchaser, and how your decisions may be linked to someone else’s home, their family and their friends.

 

  • Practice self-love and care. By no means should you stop consuming all manufactured products that make you feel great. Definitely reward yourself for your accomplishments. But try seeking experiences rather than products sometimes. Another approach is moderation: to moderate indulgence is like caring for the future version of you. As an economist would think about opportunity cost, focus on what you gain instead of what you’re delaying, be it health, mood, money or time. If you can believe it, I refused an on offer of Vancouver’s wholesome Earnest ice cream one evening; the timing just felt off, even for ice cream.

 

Your attitude and knowledge empowers you to curb erosions of our home planet, while armed with emotional intelligence, consumer awareness and compassion.

 

By now you’ve  probably noticed that this isn’t your typical article about saving the planet using 20 hands-on eco-friendly tricks. I want this to be a reminder that we’re not just reducing waste for the sake of the planet and our health, as true as that is. In the end, it’s about saving our humanity.

 

If you were to give up one thing you regularly purchase to help reduce waste, what would it be? Let us know in the comments below, or on any one of our social media platforms!

The Environmental Education Imperative

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Knowledge is the backbone of environmental progress – Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Elizabeth Atkinson writes on the importance of equipping yourself with information about the environmental impacts connected to your everyday life.

 

Environmental education is important at all ages and levels of education, as knowledge is key in making people aware of the current degradation of the environment. Education is a vehicle for change and protection of the environment. It is important that there is awareness of the current state of the environment and what needs to be done on an individual and global scale to ensure a future for the planet. There are many steps that can be taken to ensure that you are doing your part in preserving the environment, such as not engaging in fast fashion, using less plastic, recycling properly, etc. However, if the world’s top companies do not work on reducing their greenhouse gas emissions, plastic outputs, etc., change on an individual level may be futile. This is not to absolve individuals of responsibility. Individual change is great, but there needs to be pressure on larger companies that are guilty of putting profits above sustainability to change their practices to ensure a future for planet Earth as we 

know it. 

 

Environmental education is not all doom and gloom. Some of the key elements of proper environmental education include participation, awareness, skills and knowledge. Environmental education provides tools for decision-making but does not force certain beliefs or actions on people. These critical thinking skills are integral, starting at a young age. Environmental education is an opportunity for younger students to explore nature and discover how humans and nature can coexist. This can be done by having school lessons outside in nature, or having lessons in the classroom about nature and the importance of preserving it. 

 

Education is power and a tool in changing the dynamic of feeling helpless at the hands of larger corporations that are guilty of using and abusing resources at an unsustainable rate. Those who are educated have a responsibility to spread knowledge and information to increase awareness. For example, well-known household brands such as Coca-Cola, Pepsi, Danone, Colgate, Palmolive and more are some of the world’s heaviest producers in throwaway plastic. Once plastics are produced, it is important for consumers to properly dispose of them. This is one example of how large companies and individuals both need to take action in order to reduce plastics clogging up our natural environments. 

 

Another example of how companies and individuals both need to take responsibility for their actions is fast fashion. Fashion is one of the most polluting industries in the world. Fast fashion refers to large-scale production of inexpensive clothing, creating quick turnover from people constantly buying new clothes. This occurs for two main reasons. The first reason is that clothes end up “out of style” so quickly that companies are able to continue selling at a fast pace to keep up with shifting trends. Another speculated reason is that the quality of clothing has become less likely to hold up over time. There are some alarming statistics surrounding fast fashion: the world produces 400% more clothing than 20 years ago, 80 billion garments are produced every year and, on average, clothes are worn seven times before being tossed aside. In order to combat fast fashion, educating others on the issue is key. Everyone needs clothes, so the damage to the environment at the hands of fashion is often overlooked. Other things you can do to combat the short cycle life of clothing include thrift shopping, repairing items and buying quality natural fibers that are low in water consumption, such as recycled or semi-synthetic fibers.

 

There are incentives for saving the planet other than protecting the environment so that generations to come can live comfortably. The economy would actually benefit from having a strengthened environment. One example of this is the food industry. Food crops benefit from nature through pollination from animals or insects, as well as sunlight and water. Food is something we all need to survive, but crops are also a multi-billion dollar economic value to the economy. As the crops yields suffer due to pollinators being negatively impacted by the ever-changing environment, the environment will struggle in response. 

 

There are many human comforts that can benefit from having a strengthened environment. Nutrition, health and the economy will all flourish if the environment is better maintained. In order to create the changes necessary for the environment to thrive, it is important to become educated on the issues that the environment is facing daily. You are never too young or too old to start the education process to better understand the world’s current struggles. Environmental education does not dictate how a person should behave, but instead arms people with information to make the best choices for themselves and the environment moving forward. 

 

Further Reading: 

https://www.sustainyourstyle.org/old-environmental-impacts 

https://ecocult.com/now-know-fashion-5th-polluting-industry-equal-livestock/

https://www.sustainyourstyle.org/old-fast-fashion 

https://www.greenpeace.org/international/story/18876/these-10-companies-are-flooding-the planet-with-throwaway-plastic/ 

https://naaee.org/about-us/about-ee-and-why-it-matters 

https://www.yourarticlelibrary.com/environment/environmental-education-objectives-aims-an d-principles-of-environmental-education/39724 

https://www.plt.org/educator-tips/top-ten-benefits-environmental-education/ 

https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2019/01/save-the-planet-save-the-economy-cristiana-pasca-palmer/

Reconstruction

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Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Janki Patel always put herself last, until she couldn’t hold herself together any more. Guided by a set of simple principles, Janki shares how she was able to build herself back up. 

 

Have you ever given great advice to others but never followed your own? That is the story of my life when it comes to self-empowerment.

 

It stemmed from my people-pleasing behavior. I was the kid who constantly needed approval for everything. Then, I became the teenager who wanted to put everyone first before herself. Eventually, it became about living through and for others.

 

People-pleasing sounds great but it’s far from it. You come off as this noble knight, but there is just darkness beyond the armor. It’s a way to run away from problems, emotions and sometimes your own life.

 

It took a lot of time and some rough experiences to realize that it’s crucial to be confident in myself, my choices and my abilities. I always feared I would come off as self-centered if I spoke up for myself too loudly or made decisions without consulting anybody. I was also scared to hurt those around me. It was difficult for me to give myself importance . . . it almost felt wrong.

 

I think the scariest part was concealing it all so well that no one had the slightest clue. Eventually, I hit a breaking point. I made impulsive decisions, I nearly dropped out of school and every part of me felt empty. I am a firm believer that sometimes we need to hit our lowest point to wake up. And I hit mine. Hard. 

 

This was where self-empowerment came into play. This was when I realized that I have full control over everything I choose. It was when I wanted to spill my feelings and cry my heart out.

 

My breaking point was when I heard my niece’s first cry. I was right outside the hospital room and my knees buckled. I sobbed helplessly, overwhelmed. It seems strange, but that was it. That was my moment. I felt like I had a chance.

 

I took it upon myself to figure how I could begin a process of empowerment. Here are some ideas that helped me:

  • Forgive. It sounds simple, but it was one of the most difficult things to do. It’s easier to feed yourself with negativity than to own up to mistakes and believe you will do better. However, forgiving yourself is very necessary because it is one of the ways you can allow yourself to move on. Does this mean all my actions were justified? No. But it did mean that I could learn from them and make better choices thereafter.


  • Talk. Sometimes I think there are several reasons why people choose to internalize over speaking to someone about their feelings. One of them might be that we never learned how to. So, one day, I just did it. I spoke to my family about everything I’d been feeling in the past few years. I remember feeling so nauseous moments before, but once we had a discussion, I felt liberated.


  • Do. If overthinking were an Olympic sport, I’d always win gold. It is one of the biggest reasons I never took positive risks and left my path empty. I still experience it, but I don’t give it full control. Now, I focus on doing things. I tell myself to take one chance, to try something just once, and go from there – bite-sized goals if you will.


  • Become friends with yourself. Will I ever be able to fully accept and be confident in myself 24/7? Not a chance. It is practically laughable. Sometimes I will be as stale as bread. But my point is, treat yourself with kindness, respect and care as much as you can. Think of how great of a friend you are to someone, and now imagine giving yourself the same treatment. It will go a long way. 

 

Self-empowerment is broad, personal and sometimes even scary. It does not happen overnight, but a gradual process is possible. I will continue to struggle with it every day, but that breaking point opened a world filled with little bursts of happiness for me. Living my life through and for others no longer makes sense to me.

 

It is still about gaining approval . . . but from a friend I’d been neglecting for too long. Me. 

How would you describe yourself, as your own friend? We’re just asking because we think you’re awesome and we hope you do, too! Meet up with us on our community platform, or in person at a Conscious Connections group!

Empowering Language to Cultivate Gratitude & Abundance

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Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Aldona Maria shares simple techniques to empower ourselves through language by cultivating gratitude and abundance in our expressions.


The language we use says a lot about how we perceive the world. In this blog post, I will be sharing with you a simple technique to empower yourself through language by cultivating gratitude and abundance in your expression. 

 

Even though it has become an old adage that communication is only 7% verbal, the relatively small proportion it takes up does have an impact. The words we use hold power. The parallel between “spell” and “spelling” is no coincidence!

 

So, how can you use language to empower yourself?

 

The underlying victimhood that often corresponds with a mentality of scarcity is often a conditioning deeply rooted within the psyche. It is often our beliefs that we are victims and undeserving that create situations that seem to validate those very same beliefs. This is all governed by the universal Law of Resonance, which states that your vibration will align with vibrations of the same frequency and cast them back to you.

 

When you cultivate gratitude and abundance within the language you use, you are shifting your focus away from lack and scarcity by reframing your perspective and allowing your positive expressions to manifest. This, in turn, creates positive resonance.

 

When you notice your perspective is focused on what is lacking in any given situation then, shift gears and see what there is to be grateful for, no matter how small. Acknowledge what is there. Only after you have done that, add how you will create that which you would like to have or see happen: the needed improvements.

 

For example, let’s say that you would like to have a better bike. Instead of complaining about how rusty, old, or noisy your bike is, you instead express gratitude for having a functioning mode of transportation, and that you would like to show your appreciation for it by painting it, oiling the chains and decorating it. Or, perhaps, honour the service that your rusty old bike has given you, and prepare to give it the rest it has earned by saving for a new one. 

 

Another way to create gratitude and abundance in language is, when safe and appropriate, to replace every “no” with a “yes” instead. For example, instead of saying no to a job offer because the salary offered doesn’t meet your needs, you tell the employer that you would like a higher salary. Often this is something that can be negotiated, and you might get your way! Otherwise, if the employer declines, you thank them and tell them you are going to continue your search, but that you would love it if they kept your application and thought of you, should a higher budget be allocated to the salary offer. This is a way to value yourself and keep channels open, rather than burning bridges.

 

An important note here is that when it comes to protecting your boundaries, it is absolutely ok and sometimes necessary to state a clear NO!

 

Apart from those important scenarios, you might be surprised how many negative statements can be re-framed into more positive ones. Let’s say you have given an intern a task, for instance, and you feel disappointed about how it was done. Now instead of saying, “No, this is wrong,” you could opt to say instead, “Your presence and efforts here are very appreciated, now it would be ideal if you could do this task like this.”

 

In essence, when you replace lack with gratitude, it creates abundance.

 

When you empower yourself and lead by example, you give others permission to do the same. True empowerment does not come at the cost of others; on the contrary, it creates win-win situations for everyone. This is because when you are empowered, you feel whole and there is no need to behave in ways that disadvantage others. 

 

You also need to know that the power of your intention is strong. If you merely begin by making an intention that you will use language that cultivates gratitude and abundance, you will already have come a long way. And if you, on top of that, add the belief that the way you are using language really does empower you, the effects will be stronger.

 

I hope that these basic techniques will serve to empower anyone who is open to re-visiting the use of language with the intention to transform it into a more empowering tool of communication and overall being! 

 

Thanks for reading! 


With Gratitude,

Aldona

We would love to hear about your explorations of using empowering language – if you haven’t already, try it out and then check back in to let us know in the comments or at our community site!

Her Performance

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We all look different, so why should beauty standards encourage us to be the same? Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Prateek Sur has a story that will hopefully encourage us to shed fat-shaming thoughts and become more body-positive.

 

Actresses in the film and television industry are supposed to maintain a certain kind of image. Not only are they required to always look good, but they’re also asked to maintain a specific body type. In most cases, this body type is skinny, but with big breasts. But there are short people and there are tall people, there are rich people and there and poor people, there are good people and there are bad people – so, why are women, in general, required in society to always be good-looking, skinny, fair and curvy? It’s not right!

 

Let me share with you a story of a friend of mine, who had just landed in Mumbai – the heart of Bollywood – from a small town to become an actress back in 2013. She was overweight for Bollywood standards, and she had no qualms about it. She joined our theatre group and that’s how we became friends. Everyone in the theatre group used to tell her in hushed tones to try and lose some weight, as that would help her bag better roles. She wasn’t that bothered as she was quite a happy-go-lucky girl, and quite outspoken too about her not being a slimmer body type. She had no shame in accepting herself as who she was, and I especially liked her because of this.

 

Soon enough, the devil caught up with her.

 

The girl, who was always bubbly and charming, suddenly started being low on energy and confidence. Never before did she falter in her lines for a play, but suddenly she started forgetting her lines and, at times, gave double-takes. It was affecting the rest of our performances. We didn’t know what the issue was and she didn’t tell us when we used to hang out.

 

One day, she came in late for practice and informed us all that she left the gym late. When she had first arrived in town, she was totally against going to the gym and believed that her talent and her learnings at the film school would help her build a career in films and television. Now, seeing her hitting the gym, we all started questioning her as to what had happened. After a little bit of prodding, she finally broke down in front of us.

 

She opened up, saying that she had been going to almost 80-100 auditions a week and he had been rejected from all of them as she was not skinny enough. Other, skinnier girls, and sometimes even the casting directors’ assistants, made fun of her body at the auditions. In one of the auditions, she advanced to the second round and then, on camera, was laughed at by everyone present in the room. She felt humiliated, as if she had committed some crime by being born with her body. That’s when she decided to hit the gym and shed some weight.

 

We all noticed what she wasn’t noticing. She was trying to lose weight, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but she was also slowly slipping into depression. We could see the change in her attitude in the weeks to come. She stopped hanging out with us after practice, and whenever she did, she didn’t indulge in any food. That was impacting her mind and her inner peace.

 

We all used to try and motivate her and tell her to stay cheerful and tell her not to take casting directors’ words and decisions to heart. We all used to try and pump up her confidence, but she had gone down to a state where she had lost all hope of ever making it in the film and television industry. The fact that she wasn’t losing much weight despite a strict diet and sincere gymming was also adding to her woes.

 

One day she informed our theatre group teacher and leader that she was packing up her life in Mumbai and going back to her hometown. Our upcoming show would probably be her last show. Our teacher, along with the rest of us, tried to inspire her to not lose hope and stick on, but she had already made up her mind to return home.

 

She left after a few days.

 

I happened to get a call a few days after she had arrived back in her hometown, from her father. I am not sure how he got my number, but he called me out of utter concern for his daughter. He asked me what had happened to his daughter, as she had sent a girl who was full of life to Mumbai, but the one who had returned was someone totally different. She  hardly talked to them, never went out to meet her friends and would barely use her phone or laptop. She kept herself locked in her room most of the time. I told him what happened in Mumbai, as much as I knew. Her father felt sorry for the entire scenario and said that he would keep in touch with me if there was any other need.

 

After that, all of us from the theatre group barely got any responses from her to our messages. She never picked up our calls, and hardly ever joined our video chats. A few months later, she even left the WhatsApp groups of the theatre troupe. Slowly, we all disconnected from her.

 

Almost a year later, I got a call from a friend of mine who was casting for a TV show. As he had seen our play and had seen the girl perform on stage, he asked me for her contact. I told him that she might not pick up his calls as she was no longer in Mumbai and barely responded to any of ours. My friend asked me if there was a video recording of our play which had her performance in it. I had that recording on my laptop and sent it over to my friend.

 

A few days after that, my friend called me again and he sounded happy. He told me that he had shown the video of the play to the director and producers of the show, and they loved the girl’s performance. He asked me to get in touch with her somehow and ask her to come back to Mumbai for a face-to-face audition, as she was almost guaranteed to be cast for the show.

 

After getting all the details about the show from my friend, I remembered that I had the girl’s dad’s contact number. I called him, and sure enough, he recognised me. After the usual pleasantries, he informed me that his daughter had been seeing a therapist for almost a year for depression. I asked her father if he could give the phone to his daughter, as she wasn’t picking up any of our calls. Unable to convince his daughter to speak on the phone, he decided to just put the phone on speaker while holding it in front of her.

 

I told her that she had been almost finalised for a show on StarPlus TV’s upcoming new show as the lead actress. She started talking now, and I could hear that gleam of joy returning to her voice. She was inquisitive about the show. I told her all the details, about how it was one of India’s biggest television channels and the show was being made by one of the biggest TV czarinas in the Indian film and television industry. I told the girl about how I had sent the video of our play to my casting director friend and how things got into motion. The girl wanted to know the character that she was to play, and I told her that it was the lead. She couldn’t believe me, as she knew her looks and body type didn’t match that of any other lead actress, and she was thinking that she would be playing some small part. I had to assure her that she would indeed be the lead. She fit the bill perfectly.

 

As it happened, they were looking for an actress who was heavier than the Bollywood standard, and thus could bring freshness to the show.

 

Soon afterward, she was back in Mumbai. She did the final look tests and got selected for the show. Within minutes of her being selected, I could see that she had gone back to being that old happy-go-lucky girl whom I had come to know for some time.

 

The makers of the show didn’t ask her to lose any weight, as the show demanded someone who could steal the audience’s hearts with her performance, and not by their physical appearance.

 

And that’s exactly what happened. The show went on to become one of the most popular shows of the year. The girl went on to win a couple of awards at popular award shows for her performance as well. She is back to being her real self now, and there is no depression anymore in her personal life. On the contrary, she has started using her Instagram page to share body positivity stories and give a piece of her mind to people who think that actresses must only be of a specific body type.

 

Isn’t that women’s empowerment at its best? She is sharing from her own experiences to empower others.

 

She is now one of the leading actresses in her genre and has millions of fans. Despite becoming so famous, she hasn’t forgotten us from the theatre troupe. She always meets us and chats with us whenever she’s free. At the same time, she uses her popularity to make young girls entering the film industry aware of the perils she faced at the start, how she overcame her depression and how everyone should have good friends around who can help them lift their spirits.

 

Now, looking at her story, it is up to us to ensure that weight is no longer a bane, but a boon for actresses everywhere.

 

Indeed, let’s all work on eliminating shame from the social discourse about peoples’ bodies. If you have a tale of body positivity, please share it with us in the comments below, or on any of our social media platforms – help inspire us all to love each other unconditionally!

How to Cope with Racial Tension as a Biracial Person (and Take Your Power Back!)

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Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Daniel Quinney’s mixed-race background has prompted the same set of conversational questions over and over again, but for a long time Daniel struggled with finding an answer to feeling disconnected and excluded. For anyone who has felt the same way in this increasingly polarized world, Daniel shares some ideas on how to create a space where you belong.

 

As an individual of biracial heritage with an Irish-Canadian mother and an African father, I have always struggled with the fact that I often feel that I come from two different worlds.

 

How can a person, with one parent from a dominant group in society and another from a racialized group, deal with the tension that arises from belonging to both groups? Or the unwelcome feeling that they belong to neither?

 

How do we find our voice to speak up and live our truth as only we can?

 

Too black for white people. Too white for black people. 

 

I’ve heard these sentiments echoed often from people I know who have mixed-race backgrounds like mine. 

 

When I was younger, people would ask, “So, what are you?” Of course, it would be game time for me at this point, so I would tell them that I am a person.

 

A human was also acceptable if I wanted to be extra cute.

 

So they would then ask, “Ok, but what is your nationality? “

 

I would say Canadian. They would come back with, “Yeah, yeah, but what is your ethnicity?”

 

I knew what they were getting at. Even though I was born in Vancouver, I would eventually relent and give them what they want.

 

Half-Tanzanian, half-Irish, I would say. 

 

At an earlier age, I would have simply said half-African, but as time passed I think I wanted to up the level of difficulty a little (a bit of a pattern with me).

 

Yet ever since I found a deeper appreciation for the African side of my identity as a teenager, I often had this nagging feeling that half of me was on the wrong side of a conversation or dispute that had been going on long before I was born.

 

I gradually came to understand that people of all walks of life, of all colours, abilities, genders and orientations, can feel disconnected or without a sense of belonging in this world, and that I didn’t have a monopoly on that feeling of not fitting in. Over time, I found constructive ways to do something about what I was experiencing.

 

Along that journey, I developed coping mechanisms to give myself, as a biracial person, a sense of place and belonging in the world. I hope I have done an adequate job of passing these on to my children, and others as well.

 

  • Love your uniqueness: Only you are exactly like you. Be proud of yourself, both mentally and physically. Textured hair? Green eyes? Big ol’ butt? Don’t be ashamed of the features that make you unique as a mixed-race person. Don’t hide what you are, embrace it. Forget about the so-called “traditional” standard of beauty; it’s a new world out there. 

 

  • Use your creative voice at work and within your community: Be vocal about the things you care about. Listen to the stories of other voices, other communities, other races. Support causes you truly believe in. If you are an artist of any kind, reflect that passion in your artwork, whatever it is, since it is a reflection of you and your thoughts.

 

  • If you can’t give dollars, give your time:  Give back to the generations that are coming up. Volunteer to be a mentor, or a tutor if you are an expert in your field. By the way, we are all experts in something. Time to pay it forward.

 

  • Share your culture: Go to the festivals. Celebrate the customs of both cultures, whatever they may be. Talk about your history and the story of your family. Encourage strong ties with grandparents on both sides. Embrace and show off the things you enjoy about your culture(s) with your kids, and your friends too. 

 

  • It’s OK to not talk about race all the time: Not everyone is a Malcolm X or an Oprah or MLK or Obama, and that’s just fine. People define themselves in different ways, least of all by race, and that’s the way it should be.

 

  • Don’t play the role or try to fit a stereotype: Find positive role models who look like you and embody the way you want to be and how you want to live. Trust me, they’re out there in abundance.

 

  • Racist situations can be teaching opportunities: If people you encounter in everyday life say inappropriate or racist things, call it what it is . . . politely and in a nonviolent way. Safety is the priority, no matter what feelings get riled up in the heat of the moment. This is a time to show others the way to confront racism, so take advantage of it. Take emotions out of it, and just call it by name and say why it is wrong, but be safe.

 

  • Take care of yourself: The endless race and culture debate, whether experienced first-hand in a spirited discussion with colleagues or through the media, can bring a kind of fatigue or numbness. When this occurs, in your personal life or out in the world, make sure to take some time out for yourself to reflect and heal.

 

  • Be prepared to talk about the bad days as well as the good: Talk about racism, the legacy of slavery and other uncomfortable things, and in the process, you will educate others, both on the progress that has been made and how we still have to move forward. Truth is truth.

 

How has your race, ethnicity and/or nationality informed who you are? Share your stories with us on any of our social media platforms, in person at a Conscious Connections meeting, or simply hop down to the comments below!

Building that Bridge

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You can build it, once plank at a time: Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Kanak Khatri writes on how achieving confidence can simply be a matter of working your way toward it.

 

The best explanation that I have for confidence is that it stimulates a situation where there are admirers and a performer. A  performer can be someone who just does something better and, because of that, has more confidence. However, I have always felt that the difference between spectator and performer is the time and effort that anyone can put in to become better in something and, hence, more confident.

 

But why is it important to become more confident?

 

Imagine yourself mesmerising a crowd in a TED Talk in the future. That’s one way to envision the benefits of confidence in action.

 

You can seize opportunities that pass by, and the positive results will build your confidence. Ace that interview or climb that corporate ladder. Personally, I let a few opportunities pass by without even considering them, as I was not confident in myself. You, with confidence, will also be able to stand up for yourself, be it in front of a manager with unrealistic expectations or within a toxic relationship.

 

All in all, confidence might not prevent difficulties from occurring in your life, but it will equip you to handle them in more efficient ways.

 

Where is the handbook to become more confident?

 

There is no one method that can fit all different cases, because we all lack confidence in different aspects of our lives. The only fundamental technique that might apply is to get out of your comfort zone and start building the bridge toward confidence. When we see confident people, we do not see the trials, errors and failed attempts that led to their current positions. For instance, I used to be very unconfident when speaking publicly, be it in a school presentation or just answering a professor’s question in class. 

 

I came to a situation where I did not want to live without confidence any more, so I exposed myself slowly to speaking publicly. Working at a fast food joint helped a little, as it required me to constantly talk to customers. Whenever I had a presentation, I would put effort into preparation and practice, which also helped me be more confident. Practicing in front of two people, then three, and eventually a bunch more helped as well.

 

Similarly, if you’re not confident talking to someone, maybe practice talking to familiar, supportive people, and practice the conversation in your head before talking to them. One day, eventually, you will eventually be a pro without even realising it.

 

I also realised that my attire and the way I looked were also determinants that affected my confidence. If looking a certain way makes you feel confident, I would suggest you go for it.

 

Let’s take another scenario: say, for instance, I am not confident in my photography. I would take suggestions from someone skilled in photography and learn ways to improve. With that feedback, I would improve and become more confident.

 

Building that bridge

 

I realised that developing confidence was important to growing as a person, and the only way to do it was to get out of my comfort zone, as scary as it seemed. Failing and being nervous of uncharted territories are part of the process. The people we admire have been through failures, and we should look up to them for inspiration. Building that bridge and reaching your goal of being more confident may be a treacherous project but, in the end, is worth it.

 

In what area of life would you like to feel more confident? Share your ambitions with the supportive and positive Low Entropy community in the comments below, on any of our social media platforms, or in person at a Low Entropy meet-up!

With Confidence

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Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Alexandra Dadivas emerged from the depths of negative self-talk and peer pressure with the support of a very special person. Now committed to bringing others up with her, Alexandra speaks to the importance of creating a chain reaction of love and positivity.

 

For the past couple of years, my biggest personal project has been myself. Being a high school student, I am constantly immersed in an environment that points out which parts of you are acceptable for society and which parts are not. I know that, for me personally, the majority of my insecurities were not insecurities before society told me they were. Like so many others, I fell down a deep hole, into a relentless mindset that if others didn’t like me, I wasn’t allowed to love myself. Me? Looking like this? I didn’t believe I deserved it. Mirrors taunted me. Pictures and videos triggered voices in my head screaming at me that I was a complete waste of space and that it was hopeless for me to ever be considered pretty. It wasn’t fair. Everyone else was so beautiful and easy to love, so what was wrong with me?

 

I then came across a treasure – I met one of my dearest friends, Pat. She took on a sister-like role almost immediately after we clicked, and I still can’t believe I got lucky enough for her to enter my life. We quickly became comfortable with opening up to one another, free from the fear of judgement. When she told me she was just as insecure about herself as I was, it was as if my brain couldn’t comprehend such an idea. She was perfect to me, beautiful on the inside and out, and it confused me how she didn’t see that. Instead of showering me with the seemingly typical compliments of pity, she made a suggestion that ended up changing the way I lead my life: “Why don’t we climb this mountain together?”

 

Together. For the longest time, it felt like it was just me in this infinite well, with no hope of being free. Yet here comes along this light that manages to seep through the cracks, allowing me to finally breathe. She said we were going to tackle this one baby step at a time, and that we were going to catch one another if we fell. We recognized that we were not going to carry the other person to the top so much as guide them, for everyone has their own unique mountain to climb. And so that’s what we did. For two years, we both stumbled and we both almost gave up numerous times, but we had each other’s back. I can now proudly say that, though I am not at the summit just yet, I am so much farther than when I first started my journey – my journey to love every single aspect of me, whether it is deemed acceptable to society or not.

 

My 2020 New Year’s resolution was to feel comfortable in my own skin. With Pat by my side, I have achieved so many small personal goals, but I have also helped achieve some of hers along the way. It’s an incredible feeling, to see someone grow right before your very eyes. I found myself craving that feeling, and so I made it my 2021 resolution to try to extend the sensation of being confident enough in yourself that you live your life with no fear anymore. I am no longer afraid to wear the clothes I want to wear, to act the way I want to act, and to do the things that I am passionate about. If I have the power and opportunity to extend such an experience to other teenagers like me, I want to take it.

 

Empowering others is like a garden of flowers. All it takes is one strong flower to bloom and shed its seeds, and from there it is an endless domino effect. That is the beautiful thing about helping others with confidence – once someone gains confidence in themselves, they gain confidence in others as well. They begin to believe in people and feel the need to spread self-love to as many individuals as possible. This then leads to creating an incredible community of people who all started in different places and all have their own stories, but ultimately have the same goal. This community acts as an enormous wall of support for humans who are trying to get to where they want to be, and just need a little push. 

 

If you are not where you want to be on this mountain yet, join hands with another. You may not realize it, but everyone has had the same cruel thoughts running through their heads as you have. Likewise, everyone has their time to bloom, including you! This body of people is constantly expanding, so no matter where you are or where you go, know that you always have a place to turn to, and I am proudly a part of that place.

If you’re looking for a supportive, encouraging group of people, Low Entropy might be the place for you! Check out our online community or drop by a Conscious Connections meet-up to keep that domino effect going!

Take Action

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Are you miserable? You should change that. How about today? Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Grace Cheng shows you how.

 

Do you sometimes feel trapped in life and feel everyone is moving ahead except for you?

 

A lot of us feel unhappy or frustrated and think we have no control over our lives. But we do have the power to change our lives by simply putting our thoughts into action. 

 

The hardest part of converting our thoughts into action is taking the first step. Sometimes we do not want to take the first step because we fear failing. We need to be more bold and courageous to step out of our comfort zone and see changes happen in our lives. If we do not take action, nothing will change. We will wonder why we are still facing the same situation 10 or 20 years from now and feel even more miserable. We are responsible for our lives, and no one can walk our lives for us. We are the only ones who can change things for ourselves, so take action today.

 

I have discovered eight ways to turn thoughts into action and transform lives to find fulfillment and happiness.

 

  1. Don’t overthink with negativity

 

I think we have all been there, stuck in a situation, going in circles, paralyzed with fear and frustrations. It is very unproductive and toxic to constantly overthink. We can replace our negative thoughts with positive thoughts that will bring more joy, peace and self-love in our lives. Dream about all of the wonderful things that can happen in your life and keep those thoughts. We can create freedom for ourselves when we are in a happier state of life.

 

  1. Don’t allow past failures to hold you back

 

Just because you might have failed in the past does not mean that you will fail again and things will not work out next time. Don’t let your fear or past failure put you off of doing something that you want to do. Fear can victimize us and stop us from seeking true happiness, keeping us feeling trapped. It is important to remember that there is always an opportunity for a new beginning. Every opportunity can be a wonderful and unique experience, and is only available to you, not somebody else.

 

  1. Don’t wait for a perfect time to do things

 

If we wait for a perfect time to do things and want everything to turn out perfectly, we only create unnecessary stress for ourselves. We end up paralyzing ourselves, holding ourselves back from reaching our goals and dreams. Aiming for perfection is simply not realistic and not practical. It is not a smart move and only hinders us from moving ahead.

 

  1. Your life view can become self-fulfilling prophecy

 

There is a saying that our outlook will determine the way we live, so make sure you have a positive view of life. Your mind is a powerful tool, and shapes whether you see life negatively or positively. Positive self-talk can empower us to achieve our dream lives. This self-talk can also help us to remain calm and positive, which will make our life journey easier to walk.

 

  1. Set realistic life goals and dreams

 

It is important that we don’t make unrealistic life goals and set the bar too high for ourselves. Setting standards too high can lead to a stressful life, with constant disappointments and frustrations. When you want to set achievable, realistic goals, you can simply start with an honest examination of your life work from there toward the directions that you want to take. If it is too difficult to reach a few goals, then start with just one goal at a time so that you can have control and not get discouraged.

 

  1. Don’t be enslaved to social standards

 

Many of us live our lives following societal standards, or expectations from our family and friends. We are suffering inside because we feel trapped living up to their expectations. But you have a choice to stand up for yourself and take full control over your life by doing things that make you happy, rather than blindly following the social norms. There is a chance that you will find friends and family who don’t accept or understand the direction or path of your life, but that is ok. You will eventually find other people who will understand you and form some meaningful friendships and connections. More importantly, you will blaze a happier and more fulfilling life.

 

  1. Learn how to say no to people

 

Sometimes it is hard to say no to others, especially to those who are close to us, like our family members, because we feel obligated to help them. If we say yes to people all the time, we will stress ourselves out and eventually feel burned out. It can be dangerous if we are constantly filling our lives doing work for others and neglecting self-care. The next time someone asks you to do something, pause for a moment before saying yes and analyze whether it is meeting your life’s purpose.

 

  1. Follow your passion and pursue a fulfilling life

 

There is no other person who knows you better than yourself, so it is up to you to make decisions and choices for the direction of your life. Following your passions will give you a great sense of purpose, and your dreams and goals can become a reality.

 

If you are not taking any action to make changes today, chances are you will remain facing the same situation and feeling trapped. You do have the power to take control over your life, by taking actionable steps to regain control and create freedom for your life, and improve your physical, emotional and mental well-being. You can identify which area of your life is holding you back and use the above-recommended advice to overcome your challenges and turn your life around.

What new and exciting directions do you want to take with your life? Let us know in the comments below, or join our community and see what everybody else at Low Entropy is up to as well!

Leading: The Way

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Great leaders are born and made. How? Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Emma Norton explains.

 

What does it take to be a good leader? Some people are naturals, even born with it. They have a level of strength and integrity that is inherent. 

Alternatively, some leaders evolve through experience. They rise above situations designed to pin them down. A compelling leader refuses to settle and brings their team members along with them for evolutionary growth. The blend of these two aspects provides a leader with the prime positioning for excellence. 

 

What, then, makes a bad leader? A few global politicos could come to mind, or perhaps an egomaniac boss from your (hopefully) past. Such individuals have misconstrued the role or archetype of a leader. When someone in a position of power takes advantage of their role and forgets the inherent truth that we are all equal and helping each other strive toward change, it not only dims their light, but affects those who, sometimes in a blind trust, follow them. This is what provides a leader with power: it’s not necessarily just from their job title, but from everyday interpersonal interactions. In these contexts, the stronger person will always be able to take charge. In that strength, we must remember the keyword of integrity, which some leaders are missing. They use their positions to fuel their insecurities rather than choose humility.

 

Take the analogy of an athlete-turned-coach. As an athlete, you play a sport for however many years. You learn, you cultivate your talents and you hone your skill set. What would position you as a good coach (a leader) is knowing the sport itself from many angles. You have an innate ability to educate and support an athlete without letting your egocentric needs get in the way, as you are fulfilled and own your position of power. You understand the concept of paying it forward. You take your ability to impact others as a form of responsibility. What makes a great coach is the ability to help their athlete thrive by supporting and pushing them toward success — the same with a leader in any scenario. There is no sense of a threat; there is a strategy toward collective empowerment.

 

At some point in all of our lives, we are considered leaders. Whether it’s as a parent, older sibling or within a professional setting, everyone will face a situation where they can opt to lead with inspired action. A good and empowered leader openly works on themselves and inspires others to do the same. They remain compassionate, yet driven. They create a feeling of safety for those who follow them, and they respect their position of power. 

 

Whether leadership is, for you, a goal that stems from a desire to obtain a certain status or something at which you have a natural aptitude, there are challenges with assuming a leadership identity. Impostor syndrome can sink in, or the responsibility, at times, can be daunting, especially if leadership is not what you signed up for in the first place. Uncertainty is what causes this stress. It is invaluable to remember to breathe. If you are creating a chain reaction with your choices, make sure they are good ones. An effective leader takes the time to breathe and review everything thoroughly. They do not act in haste, but rather as best they can through the lens of compassion.

 

If you are in a leadership position and feel uncomfortable, remember that all you have to do is live with integrity and honesty. Those who follow you will find that inspiration for themselves. We can only be human, but the mastery of what we project outward is where true leaders are born. A leader puts out constant reminders to treat others how they would like to be treated. And as a leader, we have to pull others up to our level, not allow trivial and pointed things to drag us down. We may not be able to change others’ perceptions, but when we lead with integrity and set our best example, that should be our sole responsibility and concern. 

What makes a great leader in your eyes? Share your thoughts with us on any of our social media platforms, or join our community to engage with the vibrant leaders who make Low Entropy happen!

Beyond Difficult

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It’s all too easy to ignore others’ struggles. Marginalization is real, and it is perpetuated when the needs of smaller, disadvantaged populations are deprioritized in favour of the overriding concerns (or comforts) of those in power. Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Elizabeth Atkinson understands this all too well.

 

Let’s just call a spade a spade. Living with a disability is difficult. Living with a disability during a global pandemic when you are a high-risk individual? Beyond difficult. It takes a different kind of strength that most people won’t understand. This is not to dismiss the issues that healthy people without disabilities have had during this pandemic. I do not mean to suggest that the pandemic has been easy on anyone. Everyone has their own personal struggles, and being a high-risk person during a global pandemic is my struggle. Everyday I battle fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis and a pituitary adenoma, as well as multiple autoimmune disorders that require me to take immunosuppressants. This makes me very high risk for illness in general, let alone COVID-19. 

 

Isolation is one of the major issues chronically ill people are facing during the pandemic. Staying home and staying safe is something everyone should try to do, because when this illness spreads, you may or may not know if you are a carrier. Staying home to stay safe is easier said than done. Some people tell me to “get out for a walk,” or “go for a drive.” This is also easier said than done. Personally, getting out for a walk can be an ordeal, depending on the day, the weather, my energy levels, whether or not I have access to my walking supports, etc. Plus, depending on where you live, getting out for a walk may surround you with people, making social distancing an unviable option. For example, I live in a crowded area, and leaving the house for a quick stroll surrounds me with people who may or may not be wearing masks and respecting personal boundaries. I also cannot drive due to the side effects of my medications. These restrictions compound COVID-19-related isolation, which leads to feeling trapped by your illness more so than usual. Sometimes what works for healthy people without disabilities does not work for people in the chronic illness community. 

 

Living through this global pandemic while having a disability has also brought on a lot of mixed emotions. Fewer people say hurtful comments such as, “I wish I could stay home all day and not have to work.” I guess some people are realizing that having to stay home is not the same as getting to stay home. One is a lack of choice, while the other is considered a privilege. However, I would take back this minor satisfaction for people to be able to live freely. I experience another mixed emotion seeing many jobs being worked remotely. Many organizations have expressed interest in keeping certain jobs as remote work even after the worst of this pandemic has passed. I am very happy more remote work jobs are available and it is being seen as a more viable option. However, I can’t help but be frustrated that, after years of begging for this issue to be looked at, it took healthy people without disabilities needing a solution for most workplaces to come up with one. I can’t help but admit that it does sting that the disably community’s cries for accomodation were not enough in the past. 

 

Other solutions to problems people with disabilities face, such as contactless delivery, the ease of ordering groceries and having them delivered to the door, etc., are all good changes that I hope stay in place post-pandemic. While the systems in place are certainly not perfect, they are helping make staying isolated easier. One way these systems can be improved is having groceries delivered to the door, instead of to the lobby, if you live in a multi-unit building. I have to frequently put in the note to the delivery person, “Please bring to door – disabled and cannot carry groceries.” Even with this added note, sometimes my groceries are still dropped off in the lobby and I have to come up with creative ways to get them upstairs to my fridge. Often, but not always, I can rely on the kindness of strangers. This is

not ideal, as it takes away feelings of independence. Additionally, it is hard to rely on strangers when you are supposed to be keeping your distance. 

 

One of the worst parts of this pandemic has been the lack of consideration for high-risk people. The number of people who say or write insensitive comments such as, “Oh, I am okay, this illness only affects people with underlying conditions or old people,” is astounding. This complete disregard for my life and others just like me is so widespread and so hurtful. It comes from family, from friends and from strangers, and reading it never gets easier. It has led me to lose multiple friends and other people I previously viewed as support, as they relentlessly made their opinions on where people with disabilities land on the social ladder very well known. The more people think they’re immune from serious consequences due to the virus, the longer the lockdowns and isolation periods will be for people who cannot safely take the same risks as others. It is a reminder that I am viewed as less than others because my body does not work in the same ways. 

 

All in all, I hope this pandemic teaches people a valuable lesson about treating disabled people with kindness, compassion and accommodation. I hope people remember how isolation and lack of freedoms can make a person feel deeply restricted. More than anything, I hope people remember that everyone is facing a struggle, and now is the time to be kind and considerate. Disabled people, just like me, deserve better than to feel like they come in last.

 

Thank you for sharing your story and perspective with us, Elizabeth. If you’ve got a story to tell, bring it to a Conscious Connections meeting, or tell it on any one of our social media channels.

All at Sea

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The Wellerman didn’t exactly bring sugar and tea and rum this time, but as Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Mike Vaness details, it did kick off an online phenomenon that brought creativity and togetherness to a population craving connection.

 

Could we have predicted the recent online popularity of the sea shanty? This is a style of song that was originally made popular on 19th-century sailing ships and has recently blown up, with many people putting their own spin to the classic song on social media. But what exactly is a sea shanty? Where did it originate? And why has it become so appealing to those of us landbound, in the modern day? Well, I would like to take this time to open your eyes to this recent internet craze, give a very brief history of the style, and explore why so many people are now having fun creating and singing some of these old tunes.

 

As its name suggests, the sea shanty originated on large sailing ships that had crews of men numbering in the dozens – and occasionally into the hundreds! In the 19th century, sailing was a great deal different than what we know today, and duties were all done manually, such as hoisting the sales, manning the capstan (a winch used to hoist the anchor), hauling rope and even rowing for some ships. It was imperative for efficiency that the men work in unison, and the steady rhythm of these songs helped maintain their timing, strength and stamina. Many of the men working these jobs had to endure long working days, poor food, low nutrition and miserable sleeping conditions. Despite these quality issues, ships where the crew was allowed to sing found that the sea shanty greatly helped the timing of the working day – not to mention a becoming a free method of entertainment, a way to help pass the time and a mutual bonding experience for the whole crew. 

 

So, what does all of this mean for us today? We are able to work independently and sometimes remotely, and with the amount of automation available, large labour crews are far less common in the 21st century. One working theory about the sea shanty’s new popularity is that it is usually a very catchy and simple tune! You do not need to be a particularly talented singer in order to participate, as the strength of the song is not about the melody, but about the rhythm and pace. This simplicity allows anyone – regardless of their level of skill – the ability to participate. In addition, the collective and choral nature of the song brings the singers into a single uniting rhythm, which conveys a feeling of togetherness and cooperation. We’ve seen that a group of people can set up a multi-person call, and everyone can contribute not only vocals, but also instrumentation, percussion or elsewise adding their own personal flavour to the song. The music only becomes richer with the more personalities that add to it.

 

Recently, one of the most popular songs online has been the whaling song, “The Wellerman”. This was made popular not too long ago by a solo performance hosted on the video site TikTok. Since then, many talented people have added to the first video, and now all kinds of people are posting their own versions. This creative imperative is what is great about these folk songs: there is no “correct” version. You can even create a song in the same vein as “The Wellerman”, but you can make your own lyrics, change the topic, add different instruments or whatever you want! This adaptability has really helped this type of song gain unexpected popularity – you can get anyone and everyone involved in the act. This collaborative effort creates exactly the type of song where you do not need to be particularly experienced or talented in order to have a lot of fun. If you want, you can sit on a Zoom call with friends, have either a musical track running or – even better – have someone play instruments, and just have a good time enjoying singing live with your friends. This isn’t karaoke – this is your own music, your own creation, and the more personality you put into it, the better it becomes.

 

Sea shanties seem even more fun and powerful when experienced with a full group of people. The collective experience draws upon the roots of the music: the rhythm and timing of men working on a ship, putting voice to daily complaints and injustices and then drawing a bit of joy from the collaboration of their peers. Many of us in the present day could benefit from this direct sense of togetherness, particularly in these times of isolation. We all remember fondly the time we could get together with our friends and break out in song. As these talented musicians we’ve seen on TikTok and YouTube have demonstrated, even for those who are not as musically inclined, this is a great way to feel closer to your friends or family. Music has a particular way of bringing people together – even in times where we are literally being instructed to stay apart. So the next time you are feeling lonely and want to find something that helps you connect with your important people? Try drawing on the old-time sea shanty, and belt out a tune with your friends!

 

Did you know that Low Entropy has a TikTok account? Maybe we could collaborate on another viral hit – check us out there or jump in on a Conscious Connections meeting to engage with our awesome community!

Just Uncomfortable

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Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Ellie Gibbard sends a message to men about accountability and how to be an effective bystander for violence and harassment against women.

 

Following the tragic death of a young woman in the U.K. by the name of Sarah Everard, the floodgates around women’s rights and safety seemed to fly open. This tragedy, sparking an uncomfortable conversation about the lack of perceived safety women have, forced many to confront their own behaviour and lack of intervention. 

 

As a woman myself, this case and discussion resonated a lot with me. For this blog, I will be speaking on this issue from a white woman’s perspective and my personal experience. It is important to note that, along with women, most visible minorities, including BIPOC, transgender people and others, experience the feeling of unsafety that I will be referencing on a regular basis. The fact that people are walking around feeling afraid to exist because of who they are, how they look or how they identify is a massive issue in the world today. I encourage those who are reading, especially those who have any privilege, to seek further education on these matters and learn how to use their privilege to be an ally for those who may be suffering.

 

I love being a woman and often find it very empowering. But, with years of being objectified by the media, stereotyped in the professional world and discredited in many other areas of life, being a woman comes with many challenges as well. Concerning my personal safety as a woman, there are several techniques I have learned in order to feel safe in my everyday life. Examples of these could be faking phone calls when I walk anywhere alone, keeping my keys in my hands in case I need to protect myself or constantly showing that I’m alert by keeping my head on a swivel and my hood down. Hearing about the case in the U.K. was especially disheartening because Sarah had practiced what she knew to protect herself: she was walking in broad daylight, wearing bright clothes and was on the phone with her boyfriend. On top of all that, her assailant was a police officer. This devastating case seemed to singlehandedly dismantle the methods I thought I had to stay safe. Hearing about this, along with the fact that one of my best friends – who, growing up, had taught me about consent and how to protect myself – was raped, led me to take bystander intervention training through my university. I will now share some of what I learned, but again, I encourage those who are reading to seek out similar training and resources.

 

Although I believe that the information that I learned and will discuss today is important for everyone, this information will be directed at men specifically. Despite the comment that “not all men” are responsible for sexual harassment and sexualized violence, when one out of 10 of them are the problem and the other nine do nothing, they are all part of the problem. And maybe “not all men” contribute to the system that enables sexual harassment and violence against women, but 97% of women aged 18-24 have a story. 97%. I hope that percentage grabs your attention like it did mine. This is not the only shocking statistic of its kind, and if you are still struggling to understand the severity of the situation, I encourage you to follow the links posted below this article. 

 

As Brené Brown puts it, “Violence starts with dehumanization. Dehumanization starts with language.” Being accountable starts with language too, and leads me to my first point on being an effective male bystander. Exchanged words and conversations between friends and male counterparts may not be considered harmful if they’re excused as jokes or banter. This is a common oversight, and shutting these comments down is the first step in preventing acts of sexualized violence towards women. If you hear a friend or anyone you know making a “joke” or comment of a violent or misogynistic nature, shut it down. Yes, it will be uncomfortable, and you may get pushback, but this is simply an awkward moment that may save a woman from being in an unsafe situation with this person later. If someone feels reinforcement behind their dehumanizing comments, what will stop them from committing physical acts of dehumanization? Step out of your comfort zone and start calling out the behaviour that upholds rape culture by holding yourself and your friends accountable. Complacency is lethal. 

 

Beyond that, if you are a witness to someone saying things or behaving in violent or misogynistic ways toward another, step in. Acknowledge that what is probably preventing you as a man from intervening is that you are feeling uncomfortable, not unsafe. Use one of the four D’s: Direct, Distract, Delegate, Delay. Being direct means identifying and calling out the inappropriate behaviour or speech, and subsequently de-escalating violent language that could turn physical. Distract the person away from the situation so that the target can safely remove themselves. If for some reason you know with certainty that you are unsafe to personally intervene, delegate the role of intervening to someone who can safely do so. Finally, delay refers to the support you provide to someone who you know has gone through a violent situation and what you do to follow up with them. Offering support to survivors is imperative to changing a system that is set up to silence and invalidate them.

 

Discussions like this one are just the beginning to what I hope is the turning point for women’s safety and protection against sexualized violence. I can’t place enough emphasis on how important it is to continue educating ourselves: read the statistics, take the training, hold yourself accountable and implement what you learn. My heart goes out to Sarah’s family and her tragic passing will remain with me, as I’m sure it will for many others, for years to come. 

 

https://www.chatelaine.com/living/sarah-everard/

https://canadianwomen.org/the-facts/sexual-assault-harassment/

https://canadianwomen.org/the-facts/gender-based-violence/

Turning To-Do into Done

Posted on by andrew

 

 

It’s analysis paralysis – if you’re all about ideas, overthinking can create a logjam that stalls your best intentions, leading to burnout. Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Emma Norton explores how we can process those ruminating thoughts in healthy ways, to get you back up and running.

 

Burnout is a state of emotional, physical and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. Our modern society is all about goal-oriented hustling to achieve some sense of status. Confronted with overwhelming pressures – whether external or self-imposed – we create an unhealthy dynamic for ourselves. 

 

Regardless of how you experience burnout or where it is derived from, you can trace its roots back to your neural wiring. How do you handle stress, and what triggers it for you? 

 

In my experience, I have always been a highly creative person: I generate ideas. I also, as a positive, can be organized and complete tasks. But I often felt overwhelmed, taking on duties that weighed me down simply because I was capable. Working on multiple projects at once or being a support for others going through hard times, I got used to going through a burnout cycle. Recently, as I have been working to streamline my life in many ways, I acknowledged that the stress I was feeling came from a key factor: I have often had a hard time turning thoughts into action.

 

Why? I’m all about the ideas. I can connect things and find the reasoning in most scenarios well beyond anyone else. If you spark my creativity, I can come up with a multitude of magical concepts for you. But in the excitement, my to-do list builds up so quickly that I ruminate on its items instead of crossing them off.  

 

I experience burnout because I have the inspiration to do all these great things, but the overwhelm comes from thinking I have to do everything independently. As an independent worker, I feel like I have to do everything myself. This comes from a mistrust in others built up over the years, as well as a lack of boundaries when it comes to taking more on than necessary. Burnout from both control issues and people-pleasing often comes from the same source: thinking there is something to prove. It comes from the worry of letting others down or being pressured to perform beyond your current capacity. I can look back to these experiences as great lessons that helped me level up and prove myself. But the real lesson was that my opinion was the only one that truly mattered in the end. 

 

I have been reviewing the idea of turning thoughts into action as I have realized the mental stress that I impose upon myself instead of chipping away at that to-do list. Here are some tools I have been implementing with great success lately:

 

Join a Networking Group

This is not just for professionals: if you are a new parent who is feeling burnt out or a student feeling overwhelmed, there are community-minded groups to participate in. Find something relatable to your scenario. Just talking with others helps, as does being open to their perspectives. It can also help you realize you are not alone, and from a professional standpoint, you may very well find others with whom you can collaborate.

 

Exercise

I often exercise to the point of burnout, but I also manage the other stressors in my life during these sessions. When running, for example, I can take a lot of those ideas swirling around in my head and give them (literal) legs. Taking this time to connect my mind and body helps me refocus and get out of my head. I always prioritize exercise within my schedule because it is such a valuable outlet for me and my pent-up energy.

 

Have Your Non-Negotiables

Depending on whether you are a disciplined, routine-oriented person or a free-flowing, take-life-as-it-comes kind of person (I fall somewhere in the middle), have your non-negotiables. Taking a break from the ruminating thoughts and redirecting your focus to a non-negotiable activity or practice for some time (even if it is a planned time in your schedule) is crucial.

 

Pick three non-negotiables you have to incorporate into your day/week/month. These are your actions. These are the movements that you can use to ground your thoughts. For me, it’s running, painting and giving myself manicure/pedicures. The latter also conveniently supports the first two! As you can see, my list includes physical activity, creativity and self-care, all of which I can redirect my thoughts into. Try this for yourself!

 

What are your three non-negotiables? Is your favourite one “reading the Low Entropy blog?” Sure it is! Let us know your other two in the comments below or on any of our social media channels!

Nothing Without a Woman or a Girl

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Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Anna Bernsteiner speaks up and speaks out on gender inequality and empowering women. Cautioning against complacency, she reminds us that we still have a long way to go.

 

“It’s a Man’s Man’s Man’s World” started playing on the radio when I was driving through the city yesterday.

 

I laughed. In disbelief. The dash screen said: written in 1966. Today, 55 years later, these words still make perfect sense.

 

It’s still a man’s world.

 

I started thinking back to a history class a couple of years ago when we were discussing women’s rights. A fellow classmate responded to the teacher, “Women already have so many rights in comparison to the 20th century. We don’t have to overdo it and ask for more.” 

 

One-hundred and nineteen countries have never had a female leader.  

There are only 21 female heads of state or government at the moment.

Poland has imposed a near-total ban on abortions. 

Countries such as Iceland, France, the UK and Germany have been working on laws to decrease the gender pay gap, yet a noticeable difference remains. Women in France and the UK, for example, still earn 15.5% less than men. 

Women in Saudi Arabia were not allowed to drive until 2018 and still have to get permission from a male relative regarding travel, marriage or health procedures.

Women are more likely to be killed in car crashes because the safety features are designed for men. 

One in three women has experienced physical or sexual violence in their lives. 

Over 650 million women alive today were married as child brides.

Only six countries give women equal work rights under law. 

etc. 

etc. 

etc.

 

Are we really asking for too much? Or is the world just so used to women being quiet, underpaid, powerless and excluded that speaking up is too uncomfortable?

 

Here is the thing with power: giving it up is indescribably difficult. So in order to keep it, protests and people seeking change are said to be radical, a threat. Groups that fight for women’s rights such as Feminists want equality for all, same as Black Lives Matter wants equality for all. It just happens that power is still in white male hands. And giving up this superiority that has been around for centuries isn’t an easy thing to do. 

 

I have been reading and listening to a lot of people talk about Feminism, women’s rights, toxic masculinity and gender equality, and I have noticed how deeply rooted it is in our society. 

A lot of it is subconscious. I don’t believe the majority of people try to be sexist. It’s learned behavior. 

 

From a young age, we are taught that it’s not okay for boys to cry or that girls shouldn’t be angry. The fact that boys talking about their feelings is not masculine and girls are too emotional is old hat. And yet we keep associating these things because of how our parents raised us and how they were raised. That’s exactly why many people fear Feminism: they connect strong, angry women with the Feminist movement, and society has taught us that angry women and girls are supposed to be punished. 

 

Empowering women and raising kids with a belief that everyone is equal is so important. Only when everyone is taking part will misogyny and racism be eliminated. 

 

And what does empowering women mean?

 

It’s about speaking up when we notice behavior that isn’t right. Raising awareness on the topic. Teaching children about gender norms and their consequences. Helping to uplift others. Educating yourself on the topic and, like me, discovering many deep-rooted “normal” behaviors that are actually not normal at all. 

 

Now I want to point out that by empowering women I mean everyone, including trans women, women of color and women with disabilities. 

 

As James Brown says: it’s a man’s world. It still is. And it will continue to be if women and men and non-binary people won’t come together and stand up for equality.

 

How do you support gender equality in your own life? Inspire us with ideas in the comments section, or discuss these important issues in person with a supportive group at a Low Entropy Conscious Connections session.

The Importance of Trying, in Trying Times

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We could resign ourselves to the dreadfulness of the pandemic, and allow ourselves to deteriorate along with the general state of the world. Indeed, many of us have. Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Joana Baker, however, is having none of that: with five simple steps and a ton of compassion, Joana gives us an injection of optimism to channel into our self-care practices, for everybody’s benefit.

 

A report on mental health data from the COVID-19 pandemic showed a worrying trend. COVID-19’s adverse effects have led to the deterioration of mental health among a large segment of the population. Findings from the US Census Bureau show that more than 42% of Americans reported symptoms of anxiety or depression in December of last year. That’s a huge increase compared to the 11% who reported the same symptoms in the year prior.

 

Amid so many tragedies, it can be difficult to tend to your well-being. But that is precisely why you should do so in the first place. You owe it to yourself to care for yourself. Here are five simple ways you can do just that:

 

Eat Right and Get Enough Hours of Sleep

 

Health is a crucial part of your well-being, so don’t neglect it. Get enough hours of good-quality sleep to help you recharge and face each day. Also, make sure to eat enough nutritious food, even if you don’t feel like it. Nourishing your body is the first step to taking better care of yourself, so make it a habit! Try meal planning if you’re having trouble with sticking to a healthy diet, or if you’re pressed for time during the week. Because when your body is healthy, it’s easier for you to go about your day.

 

Keep an Eye on Your Posture

 

Posture is another thing that can greatly affect your overall health. Proper posture improves spine health, supports your muscles and keeps your blood vessels healthy. Plus, correct posture makes you less likely to suffer from back or neck pain. Fortunately for you, there are plenty of things you can do to improve your posture.

 

One option is to purchase a standing desk. This article on standing desks shares how it can lessen the user’s back pain. Sitting for too long can hurt your back and your posture, so having the option to stand up while doing work is sure to help. You can also get lumbar supports. This review of the best lumbar supports states that the use of these tools can improve your circulation and seated posture. Lumbar supports redistribute pressure and encourage you to sit properly. And once you’ve made that a habit, you’re more likely to carry yourself with a natural, healthy posture. Goodbye, back pain!

 

Get Invested in a Hobby

 

Let’s talk about leisure activities. Now that you have a little more time on your hands, it’s a great opportunity to get into a hobby. This can be anything that you enjoy — gaming, painting or writing, among plenty of other choices. Just be sure to pick an activity that you have fun doing. This feature on making time for hobbies highlights the importance of scheduling it into your day, even if it’s only for a few hours a week. It’s a powerful way to recharge and make time for yourself. Setting a goal for that hobby helps too. For instance, if you’re getting back into reading, try to read a certain number of books per month. This will motivate you to read more!

 

Stay in Touch with Loved Ones

 

Social connection can do wonders when you’re cooped up in your home for so long. Positive social interactions can greatly improve one’s mental and physical well-being, so it’s worth scheduling some video calls with friends and family. Ask them how they are and if they’ve been keeping safe. They’re sure to appreciate the gesture! To make sessions more interesting, you can even host a game night or a movie marathon with your loved ones.

 

Love Yourself

 

Finally, you need to remember to love yourself. Yes, the world is in a really scary state, but that isn’t an excuse to let yourself go. In another one of our blog posts, we talk about the importance of loving oneself despite the challenges that come with it. We could all benefit from allowing ourselves to love ourselves. It ensures that we care for our bodies the right way and gives us a more optimistic outlook on ourselves. So, loving yourself is essential, especially in such difficult times.

 

How are you taking care of yourself during these challenging times? Give us some tips in the comments below, or share them with supportive peers at a Conscious Connections meeting!

Healing Scars

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Reflecting on the past shed light on Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Niklas Chiang’s persistent fear of failure. With this insight, Niklas was able to start mending wounds, both old and new.

 

I recently started a new job, amid the COVID-19 pandemic. I was scrolling through a job posting website when I came across a posting where the company was looking to expand and hire more behavioural interventionists (BI). A BI works under an applied behavioural analysis (ABA) therapist to implement programs to help children with autism develop social, cognitive, and fine and gross motor skills. I had just graduated from university and was looking to gain experience in both physical and occupational therapy. This job seemed perfect to gain experience in developing and implementing programs that I might one day use if I were to become an occupational therapist. I applied, got an interview, then received the BI position.

 

Since I did not have a background in psychology, I knew I would have to work a little harder to understand what the ABA therapist was saying and demonstrating. The sessions were not always easy to follow because there was so much to observe, and so little time to process everything. I decided to take notes instead, and reflect on the sessions when I got home. This continued for about a month before the therapist decided I was ready to handle my first 1:1 session with the child. When that day came, I woke up nervous but optimistic, excited and terrified. When it was time to start my session, I tried to apply all the techniques the ABA therapist taught me. In the end, the session did not follow the plan I had in mind, but the child made some improvements, so I was content. I talked about the experience the following day to my supervisor. She was thrilled to hear about the session and decided I was ready to learn more.

 

For the next few weeks, we worked together again, and just like before, we worked on many different areas. I took notes, went home to reflect on them, then tried to implement my learnings in the following session. Just like before, she believed in me after a few sessions of working together, so she scheduled another 1:1 session for me. This time, nothing felt right. The session was difficult because every attempt I made to teach the child was met with resistance. By the end of the session, I felt like a complete failure. I didn’t teach the skills I wanted to, and believed the next session would go even worse. This failure stuck with me in my head. My internal voice started ringing in my brain. It told me how much of a failure and a useless BI I was, and that the therapist would reprimand me for the poor session I had. I quickly became emotionally distraught and defeated. I wanted to go home and think about how I had failed to do my job correctly. I didn’t want to do anything else except remind myself of my mistakes.

 

As I was walking back to my car, I asked myself why I had such an intense reaction. My reactions were not new to me. I had always reacted to failure poorly, but never understood why. Only one memory stood out to me. I was in grade four and had my very first provincial exam. There were two sections: reading and comprehension, and math. Both sections were difficult, but reading and comprehension was much harder. When I got back my results, I saw that I had failed the comprehension portion of the exam. I told my parents that night, and was reprimanded for my poor performance. My parents could not believe the score I got, and as punishment, I had to rewrite my essay from the exam. I rewrote it a first time, showed my parents, got reprimanded, and was told to write it again. I rewrote it a second time, showed my parents, got reprimanded, and was told to write it again. It wasn’t until after the fourth or fifth try that they deemed the quality acceptable enough for me to stop. After each of my failures, not only was I scolded by my parents, I felt humiliated and left with more tears running down my eyes.

 

Although this happened many years ago, I still felt that humiliation when I thought about it. It was not until I took a moment to reflect that I started to see why my response to failure was exaggerated and detrimental. Every time I brought a new essay to my parents, I was met with criticism, which lowered my self-esteem and confidence. In psychology, this is termed “positive punishment” (McLeod, 2018). B.F. Skinner, the founder of operant conditioning, believed that behaviours can be modified based on whether they are met with reward or punishment

(McLeod, 2018). Pleasant rewards will reinforce behaviour, while unpleasant stimulus will

reduce behaviour (McLeod, 2018). There are four categories: positive and negative

reinforcement, and positive and negative punishment (Ackerman, 2020). It is important to highlight that punishment does not mean physical punishment, but anything that is unpleasant. In my situation, my parents unknowingly engaged in positive punishment. They introduced an unpleasant punishment (reprimanding me), which functioned to decrease my willingness to participate in a second attempt. The result? Failure-avoidant behaviour to prevent the humiliating experience from happening again.

 

So how did I overcome my failed session? I took a moment to reflect on it. Instead of letting the failures control and humiliate me, I decided to take control instead. I thought back to my mistakes and identified how I could improve for the next session. That shifted my perspective from seeing my session as a failure, to a session with many opportunities. I am not defined by my first attempt, nor necessarily my second attempt. I am defined by my ability to keep moving forward and improving in spite of my failures. I am trying to redefine my situation so I don’t have to live with this fear anymore. While my experience may not be unique or profound, it did help me understand a critical period of my life where failure left a scar I never let heal. I have a long journey ahead of me to overcome my fear of failure, but each step I take is a step in the right direction.

 

References

 

Mcleod, S. (2018, January 21). What is operant conditioning and how does it work? Retrieved

March 29, 2021, from https://www.simplypsychology.org/operant-conditioning.html

 

Ackerman, C. (2020, October 17). 12 Examples of Positive Punishment & Negative Reinforcement Retrieved March 29, 2021, from https://positivepsychology.com/positive-punishment/

How have you been shaped by your past? Share your stories with Low Entropy by joining one of our Conscious Connections meetings or creating an account with our Low Entropy Community social network!

Working Outside the Box

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Your career is a significant part of your life – for many, it sets the tone and rhythm of their day-to-day, while laying a foundation for the future. While many take the safer route, there are others who prefer to take the road less travelled. Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Prateek Sur explains how he was able to carve a path between money and passion.

 

Have you ever had a conflict in your life when you were thinking about whether to work for money and a settled life, or work for your passion? I can guarantee that it’s something that people from all over the world have thought of at least once in their lives. Is it okay to think outside the box while answering this dilemma? Well, let me give you an example from my life.

 

With Indian parents, there is this huge urge to make their kids work hard and make them either engineers or doctors. This isn’t just in India, as Indians who settle abroad also follow the same pattern. This may be why you often see Indian kids topping the ranks in most of the classes in primary or high school. In a country of almost 1.5 billion people, can you imagine the amount of scarcity for skilled labour for other jobs when everyone wants their kids to be engineers or doctors?

 

In my primary and high school, I was a bright student and used to be one of the rank holders in pretty much every school year. However, unlike my peers, I never had any specific work ambition. After my 12th exam, I decided to get myself enrolled in an engineering college as per the wishes of my parents. I got into one of the premier universities in the country, and everyone was super happy. However, this was the first time that I was to leave home and stay in a city almost 1700 kilometres away from my hometown.

 

To tell you the truth, I was not that great at engineering, but I was somehow managing to pass the semesters with a decent score. Even though I wasn’t good at the subjects, I was definitely great at the extra-curricular activities. Be it writing for the college newspapers or singing and dancing at the college festivals or disc-jockeying for the college radio or making short films, I was everywhere. 

 

Today, almost 10 years after graduating from college, when I look back, I feel that those four years at my engineering college helped me shape my career as a content writer and an entertainment journalist. You may be asking, what is an engineer doing in the field of journalism and writing? Well, the passion began during college, where I realised that this was indeed my calling, and not engineering.

 

I know many of you can relate to the feeling of not having followed your passion and having settled for something that’s more secure in terms of money. While some may be afraid of the consequences of following a monetarily unsure career, there would be many others who wouldn’t have done it because of what their parents would think of them, or what the society, in general, would think of them.

 

Here’s my advice: take the risk. Take a leap of faith, but for a limited time. Prove to your parents that yes, the field of your passion not only gives you mental peace and job satisfaction, but also pays you decently enough to have a livelihood. Yes, you might not be earning a seven-figure salary every month, but you would be doing what you love from your heart, and not sitting in a boring office, punching in and out every day, just waiting for the month to end to get your paycheck. 

 

As far as your parents go, they may be pissed at you at the start, but when you show them actual growth and career stability, they may come around and see your vision. They will eventually understand – they’re your parents after all, they wouldn’t be happy seeing their own child unhappy in a boring job.

 

You may have to give time, not only to your passion, but also to your parents to come around. Careers based on passion may not be the most lucrative, so don’t spend sleepless nights when you see your college roommate get a Porsche or your childhood neighbourhood buddy get a job paying a 10-figure salary. Be patient, and more importantly, be content with what you have. You may have less, but you don’t know the mental tension and stress these buddies of yours are going through in order to get these materialistic things. There will be a point in your life when they will envy you for having the best mental health and peaceful life.

 

Be sure of your passion, follow it diligently and give it your absolute best. As I mentioned at the start, who would do the other jobs if every kid grew up to be an engineer or a doctor! 

 

Choosing a career isn’t a cakewalk, but yes, when you do choose, choose wisely what you want from your life. Your career is a part of your life, not the heart of your life.

 

What lies at the heart of your life? Drop by a Low Entropy meet-up to tell us how you’re steering your career, or simply pop down to the comments section and leave us a note!

 

Over It

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They say that breaking up is hard to do. Ava Ingram knows that it’s true. Ava got through it though, and the Low Entropy volunteer writer shares her best practices on sorting out the aftermath.

 

You’ve done your best, and given your all. You’ve had enough of the emotional roller coaster ride and gaslighting your partner was putting you through. You need to find a way out . . . then they decide to turn around and break up with you first. What’s next?

 

Give them a second chance to prove themselves, one last time . . . but when they screwed that up again . . .

 

A sense of relief.

 

They said they’d always be there for you, but in the end, you were just left trying to take care of yourself. And everything you said to your partner, they just turned around and fired back at you.

 

What’s helpful in these times when you feel like you want to punch someone, like all hope is lost?

 

Taking an “easy way out” with drinking or using drugs wasn’t for me. I chose the harder route, but I knew that I’d have to deal with it myself because, until I had somewhat processed it, I would never be able to move forward and love myself, or anyone else, again.

 

When you’re sitting in your bed all alone in the dark, thinking, “Everything’s useless,” “I can’t do anything,” and “I’m no good,” it’s a start to think, “At least I’m trying to get better.” It’s very hard to try and trick/reroute your brain when you’re in a dark place and don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. Everyone says, “It’ll get better,” but you don’t really trust that it will. Why do things seem so easy for others in your time of struggle? How do they seem to get by with nothing crappy happening to them?

 

The hardest part for me was dealing with empathy. I’m a very empathetic person, but it can come back and bite me in the butt. I felt very bad for my boyfriend after we broke up the first time. He was dealt a bad hand, as he’d had a rough childhood. I felt bad for him, his family and his pets, as they were stuck in that “welfare mentality” and didn’t want to get better. He’d once told me he wanted to get fit. And my mom explained to me that, in the same way mentally, I couldn’t “work out” his brain for him. He’d have to change for himself, and if he never did, that wasn’t on me. It was a hard pill to swallow, but it was true.

 

Medication is an aid, but there are some issues that medication can’t magically fix if you don’t confront them head-on.

 

Surrounding yourself with a good support group is always good. You might not always like your family members, but in my experience, mine have always been there for me in my time of need.  Therapy is helpful. Helping you be aware that you want to get better is the first step, but you  have to want and be able to put in the effort, even when the going gets tough. I’ve been told it’s good to “feel things through,” but at the same time, it shouldn’t give you permission to sit around and feel crappy all day, soaking in those feelings. At some point, you’re going to have to confront your fears of returning to work, and resume life as “normal.”

 

I showed up to work a few days after the breakup. It was hard keeping it together, and then I just sort of lost it all at once. That was embarrassing, and at the same time, I was like, “How am I gonna keep it together for the remainder of my shift?” Somehow, I just did. Don’t get me wrong, it was extremely hard, and I lost it again after work. But somehow, with practice, it gets a little easier. I’ve heard a good way to calm anxiety is to say, “I’m ok,” but in that moment, you don’t really feel ok, so it’s really tough.

 

Watching a movie as a distraction was always helpful. But that was just it, it was only a distraction, and wasn’t dealing with the actual issue at hand. The one thing I learned was the PERMA-V model. The “P” stands for positive emotions. So this would be the time to watch something that makes you smile, or that is funny. The “A” stands for achievement. If writing/being creative is one of your gifts, find something to do that involves that. This is a good distraction.

 

Golden nuggets are another very useful thing I’ve learned. Counting your blessings/things that make you happy is a good way of focussing your brain on the good instead of the bad.

 

After you’ve cooled down a bit and had time to process the situation, putting yourself out there to potentially get judged and ruined again is very hard to do. But in the end, if you don’t try, you’ll never know what you could be missing, which is a very hard pill to swallow. And if I didn’t do that, I wouldn’t be in the good place I’m in now.

 

Same dating site as my ex. Kept looking. Losing hope.

 

Then some guy messages me, asking who my favourite Avenger was. It was everything that wasn’t in my last relationship, but everything I wanted. Everything seems good, and right, and not like you have to explain why you’re doing everything. You don’t feel on edge/living in survival mode at all. Good communication that goes both ways, and just enjoying each other’s company.

 

It’s hard to work on yourself in order to find this kind of happy, but in the end, it’s well worth it.

 

Who’s your favourite Avenger? Tell us all about your kind of happy in the comments below, or on one of our other social media channels!

Me and TikTok

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For Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Tim Ling, TikTok is not just the hottest app on his smartphone. No, it’s far more than that: TikTok is a global phenomenon that galvanizes Tim’s faith in humanity.

 

What is emotional intelligence? I’ve asked myself this question ever since I got the topic from Low Entropy. This phrase had only ever come to me before as a blurry image. I feel like it is a collection of all sorts of ideas, without any singular meaning. I even looked up the word in different languages, trying to find myself some kind of clue. Feeling dejected, I opened an app on my phone: TikTok.

 

People of different genders, different races, different age groups . . . each video was telling a unique story, whether it was emotional, encouraging, exciting, meaningful or profitable. This was how I “socialized” with the world by just staying at home. Watching those videos really helped me get back on my feet. It was a moment of relaxation.

 

Then it came to me. That’s it! TikTok was my savior! It was TikTok that told me what the rest of the world was doing, what every single person like me was experiencing. It was TikTok that made me feel connected, that comforted me when I was down. TikTok was my emotional intelligence. 

 

This reminds me of my first experience with TikTok. I was very young, a total noob to social media. It was an interesting adventure for me to explore myself through social media. 

 

Where I was born in China, my home country, we didn’t have much social media technology. China was, and still is, a developing country. The social media infrastructure of the country was incomplete during that time. WeChat didn’t become a widespread platform until 2014. Everything was brand new, like a newborn baby growing into a young man, just like me.

 

TikTok is pretty viral now, but it was just a newborn, like many others, in 2016. When I first tried TikTok, most of the videos were about spectacle. Publishers tried to attract users with attention-grabbing videos. This was TikTok as a small child, using a very simple technique, knowing the basic idea that nice views make people feel happy. Then, in 2017, interest turned to funny videos that would make people laugh. TikTok was now like a kid growing smarter, understanding that audiences wanted entertainment. 2018 was the best year that I remember. It was about emotions: videos of inspiring or comforting people, speaking, teaching us life lessons. TikTok, the teenager, had met some difficulties in life and was seeking comfort, and here it was. One year later TikTok grew into a mature young man. People starting doing business and selling products on TikTok: movie makers, artists, musicians, teachers, e-commerce marketers, etc . . . However, these stories still retained the emotional content of previous years. Before trying to make a profit, people were telling stories of themselves, making connections and comforting lonely souls. 

 

You may have suspected that, as TikTok matured, I was also going through this progression. Yes, I was that growing kid as well: we are a generation growing alongside social media. I’m lucky enough to have TikTok as my childhood partner. In the three years I grew with TikTok, I progressed from being a kid looking for entertainment, to a listener. I was less likely to lose my temper, knowing that there were so many nice people around me.

 

TikTok reflects every person around me. Videos, music and stories are mostly collected from people and places I often visit – TikTok’s AI automatically does that. This is also the reason why I have such a deep connection with it. 

 

In other words, TikTok is a medium that showed me a world – the world outside my little house that I had never seen before, the thing that enriched my childhood.

 

However, not every video on TikTok is about comfort and joy. Although we would very much love to, we don’t actually live in a fairy tale world. Tragedies happen around us all the time. TikTok brought me that point of view as well.

 

People would make videos about their companies going bankrupt, or their friends having just been in a car accident, or being diagnosed with an illness . . . they conveyed emotions I had never experienced before. It was shocking for me to see how some people would have extreme reactions to emotional situations, only for me to realize that I didn’t really have the right to criticize. This led me to deeper consideration how I might respond to the same situations, and what actually caused those problems. Nobody was there to tell me that this was an answerless question. After hundreds and hundreds of videos, I finally realized that it was unpredictable. You could never really know what the person in each video was experiencing. 

 

However, people also seemed to recover from these episodes. The same person publishing a sad video could also publish a joyous one at the same time. Some people seemed to hide their negative emotions to show the public a positive image, an encouraging image, a grateful image, even though those people might also be experiencing something depressing in their lives at the same time. They had learned to manage their emotions. 

 

As I later learned, that is what the world is like around us. People learn to hide what hurts them inside their hearts and show the best for the world. You would never know that a teacher, smiling in front of a classroom of students, may have just heard that their loved one had just passed away. Or a doctor, whose family member was just injured in a traffic accident, might still push through, staying at their post, saving more lives.  

 

This was when I realized that there’s more warmth in the world than I thought. 

 

With this sense of warmth flowing through my heart, I opened TikTok once again, sliding down one video after another, seeking my own cure for the day, wiping away the unhappiness. The world is an honourable place.

 

What reminds you of the warmth in this world? Let us know in the comments below or at a Conscious Connections meeting. Hm . . . what am I forgetting . . . oh, right! You can also check us out on TikTok!

 

Feeling It Out

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How do we communicate what we are feeling? Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Nima Niknam offers insight into navigating the complexity of difficult emotions that are difficult to describe.

 

Have you ever sat on your couch or your bed feeling down and wondering why you’re feeling that way? Do you try to analyze how you’re feeling and then realize that you don’t know what’s bothering you? Do you find that in these moments you have trouble pinpointing what emotions you’re feeling? Your roommate might tell you that you don’t look yourself and might ask you what’s wrong. When you go to respond, you have no idea how to answer because you don’t know what’s bothering you.

 

If you’re like me, then you’ve experienced this before. It’s a strange experience, one that leaves you feeling not quite yourself. You have no idea what it is you feel, or how to describe how you’re feeling. You just feel off. 

 

Sometimes, I’ll find myself sitting in a chair, not doing anything, feeling like I don’t want to do anything. I know something is bothering me, but I’m not sure what it is. I don’t know if what I’m feeling is due to something I experienced that day, or if it’s something that happened days or weeks ago. I’ll find myself at a loss of words. 

 

So, what does this mean? Is there an answer to this? An easy explanation for what you’re feeling? The quick answer to this is no. Everyone is different, and what we may be feeling will not be the same as what someone else is feeling. 

 

But how do we determine what it is we’re feeling? In my experience, the reason we have trouble describing how we’re feeling when we’re feeling this way is often because we are experiencing a range of emotions that make it hard to decipher which emotion is specifically bothering us. If you’re feeling sad, you may also be feeling anger, regret, guilt, frustration, disappointment, etc. So when we have trouble describing to our roommate how we’re feeling, it could be that it’s because we have seven different emotions and/or feelings that are working in tandem. Feeling a combination of emotions can make it quite difficult to pinpoint specifically which emotion is the main culprit and why that emotion is the one that’s impacting you the most.

 

For example, think of a scenario in which your friend says something bad about you behind your back. You find out from a third party what she said and instantly you start to feel upset. But not only do you feel upset, you also feel angry, disappointed, devastated or afraid that you may have lost a friend, etc. Later, when you sit on the couch feeling confused and conflicted and are having trouble discovering what it is that’s bothering you about your friend, it’s likely that you have a combination of emotions or feelings that are working with each other. And because of that, you don’t know which emotion is the one that is bothering you the most.

 

We, as humans, experience emotions all the time. It is in our nature to feel. What I’ve learned from these experiences is to not get frustrated by not having all the answers. We won’t always be able to explain exactly how we’re feeling, and “I don’t know” is a sufficient temporary answer when someone asks. It may not feel that way because someone may give you a look after you give them that response, or you may feel like you didn’t give them a proper answer. But if we don’t know what we’re feeling ourselves, then we can’t tell someone else how we’re feeling.

 

So how do we get down to what emotion we’re feeling the most? Honestly, my tip is to get down to what caused us to feel this way. Was there a specific incident or moment that occurred that left us in this position? After discovering the incident, we can look at our feelings like a checklist. Do we feel angry? No, it’s not anger. Do we feel sad? A little bit, but it’s not quite sadness we’re feeling. Do we feel guilty? We pause. Yes, guilt sounds correct. By going through the checklist strategy, we can start to unravel the main feeling or emotion that was the one that was impacting us the most. 

 

Often, it is natural for us to experience several emotions at once, especially if they are similar. But in my experience, when we have trouble explaining or understanding how we’re feeling, it’s likely because we are experiencing multiple emotions at once. By going through the checklist, we can get to the heart of how we’re feeling. 

 

If you’re looking for a place where you can figure out your emotions, Low Entropy offers gatherings where active listening is the order of the day. With a diverse community of compassionate individuals, we might be able to help you sort out that pile of feelings, if only just a little bit.

Jump

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Plunging through the troposphere, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Nicole Riglietti found a perfect metaphor for the eye-opening act of turning your dreams into action.

 

I keep putting immense pressure on myself. Pressure to grow up. To make realistic choices in life. To have one foot in a life full of security and the other foot pursuing my passions. To walk the safe road in life or walk the one less travelled, carving out my own path, with hard-work, grit and honesty. Is there a balance? Someone once told me not to take life too seriously. How can I not, when the choices we make in life lead us to either greatness or emptiness?

 

I constantly keep taking jobs that lead me further away from the yearning desires within me. Jobs where I fearfully sell my soul for a paycheck instead of feed my soul with pure joy, honouring myself. I say, screw the fear. I’m tired of giving in to the fear of established, long-lasting security. To be honest, I don’t even think that really exists. Fear does. Fear is an innate human instinct, it’s part of the human experience. It can protect us. It hinders us. Fear allows the roaring courage within us to rise and face that which we cannot see. 

 

I went skydiving. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do, to experience in my life. I craved the thrilling adventure that would ignite the adrenaline of life itself, sending shock waves through my very existence. Of course, I was nervous and terrified as each moment inched closer and closer to the drop. I was a crockpot of emotions, my heart pounding outside of myself, and I’m proud to say the excitement of it all won the battle over the fear. It was time to get on the plane and I’m thinking to myself, Okay . . . Okay, this is happening. I can do this. Take off. I’m safe on the plane, with all my gear on, and the door slides open, and people begin to jump out, except from my point of view it didn’t look like jumping, it looked like people were being sucked out of the plane. In a blink of an eye, one by one they were gone, leaving clear blue skies in my eyeline, with a loud whistling sound of air pressure rushing into the cabin and dulling my senses. My turn. I scooted my butt to the edge of the plane’s open door, my legs and feet dangling off the side into nothingness. I stretched my arms to either side, gripping the frame of the plane, holding on for dear life with my shaky, sweaty palms. There’s no sense in this. Why would anyone do this?! Those panicked thoughts raced through my mind with great speed, like Usain Bolt running the 100 metres in the Olympics. My tandem skydiver literally peeled my hands from the frame and crossed my arms over my chest, and we were off, plunging, free falling into the sky, sinking fast as gravity yanked me down with its strong hold, slicing me through the clouds. Those 20-30 seconds of free-falling were the most terrifying thrill, I didn’t even know what was happening. Once the parachute went up, jolting us to a soar, I was able to breathe and appreciate the beauty of creation below and all around me. The mountains to my side, the glistening Pacific ahead of me outlining the surrounding land below, the city stretched out as if it were all Lego formed together by a child’s imagination. I was floating among the clouds, beaming, soaring, smiling, flying with the birds. I was breathing, living, excited to be alive and just taking everything in. 

 

I guess what I’m beginning to realize is, in life the active choice to follow your dreams and pursue your passions is like jumping out of an airplane. It’s utterly terrifying. It’s illuminating excitement. It’s sheer panic and trembling fear. It’s free-falling and liberating. 

 

I could find a secure career, a good-paying, stable job because it’s time to grow up and be an actual adult, only to find that I hate it and myself, becoming miserable at best with the nine-to-five routine, as my soul is craving something else, whispering to me, hoping one day I’ll actually listen. I’d rather have the courage to actively pursue my dreams, follow my heart and turn those dreams into a reality. The dreaming all day, every day at an unfulfilling job makes me unhappy, to say the least. Taking the initial steps fills my insides with fear and crippling anxiety, and then I slowly fall into it and find my way. At the end of the day, at the end of my life, I want to look back and see how I had the courage to try – that I had the courage to be who I am, and most importantly, the courage to be true to who I am. 

 

Head on over to a Low Entropy meeting, or mosey on over to the comments section or any of our social media accounts to let us know about a time you pushed through your fears to witness the beauty on the other side.

Empowerment: From the Path of Least Resistance to the Path of Most Resilience.

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Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Ellie Gibbard walks us through her thoughts on empowerment and resilience, stopping by concepts of self-love, growth and confidence along the way.

 

  • What is empowerment?

 

Feeling empowered comes from finding the ability to be the best and healthiest version of ourselves. It comes from knowledge, confidence and resilience. To clarify what I mean by the “best” version of ourselves, best does not have to mean perfect. Perfection is an unrealistic ideal and I think striving for perfection is an exhausting and dooming practice that is too present in today’s culture. Who is to say what is perfect and what is not? To feel that we are the best version of ourselves and to feel confident in who we are – this is to feel empowered. Similarly, being the “healthiest” version of ourselves doesn’t mean to say we have to drink celery juice and work out every day. I mean healthy in the sense that we have the willingness to take care of ourselves. 

 

  • What is resilience?

 

Being resilient is having the capacity to work through adversity and often grow from it. Resilience is how we respond to difficulty and is a way for us to find strength in ourselves. It sounds nice, but being resilient is not easy and is not something that naturally occurs; we don’t just go through difficulties and automatically become resilient.

 

  • How can we become resilient?

 

I think that resilience is often associated with toughness and thought of as being able to put our feelings aside, our heads down, and just push through hard times. I would argue that being resilient is a result of self-love and having empathy for ourselves. Although it is something we can reach as individuals, resilience isn’t necessarily something we can find by reaching inside of ourselves alone. Instead, it is about being able to care about ourselves enough to seek out and navigate supportive resources. This is where self-love comes in. 

 

  • How can self-love lead to resilience?

 

Self-love and having the willingness to care for ourselves is the key to resilience. If we don’t love ourselves, how can we feel deserving of love and how can we seek out love and support? I think that there is often a stigma around self-love and what it is. People hear “self” and think “narcissism.” Just because you have love for yourself does not mean you think you are perfect in any way. Self-love comes from not resisting who you are and knowing that you are not perfect, embracing your imperfection, and accepting it as part of what makes you, you. This is the key to self-love. We have to be able to love ourselves because the way we love ourselves is the example to the world of how to love us. If we can’t treat ourselves with love, how can others? Being able to love and empathize with ourselves allows us to believe that we deserve love and empathy from others and guides us towards supportive people and environments that will foster resilience within us. 

 

  • From resilience to empowerment.

 

Finally, how can being resilient lead us to feeling empowered? Resilience empowers us because it gives us confidence in our abilities to work through and rise above adversity. Again, our abilities don’t necessarily need to mean solving things on our own; there is strength in numbers and being able to reach out for support and say “I need help” shows great strength. Having the capacity to work through and grow from challenges is resilience, and gaining confidence from the growth is empowerment. 

 

Tell us about a time when you had to be resilient – drop a comment below or inspire us at a Low Entropy meet-up!

I Can.

Posted on by andrew

Isolated from her family and mired in feelings of inadequacy, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Meghna Thakur hit a low point before gradually emerging from it. Reflecting on that time, Meghna is now putting pieces together to create essential personal supports.

 

It always starts with the same thought, “I don’t think I can,” in one form or another . . . a small, niggling feeling. Sometimes it’s easy to ignore, but other times it takes root and won’t let go. Then that thought becomes a faint whisper and, if not curbed, gains strength until it’s a loud inner monologue that is difficult to silence.

 

Self-doubt has been a constant companion in my life from a very early age. Though the term has a negative connotation at face value, I have had both positive and negative experiences dealing with it.

 

I grew up in a family of highly talented artists and well-educated professionals in the science, technology and medical fields. It was quite a legacy to live up to. Most of my young life was spent trying to excel in my studies or extracurricular activities because, whether I was aware of it or not, there was always a need to measure up, to prove myself. Growing up, I channelled those feelings into determination, which pushed me to constantly improve and learn. I discovered my love of reading all kinds of literature, my fascination with science, a passion for sports and a knack for analytical and logical thinking. On a personal level, it drove me to explore a plethora of hobbies before focusing on what interested and inspired me. 

 

However, the motivation borne from these feelings of inadequacy was a double-edged sword. I left my home country to pursue a master’s degree abroad and naively believed that any challenges I faced could easily be tackled if I was simply determined enough. But being alone and away from everything that is familiar to you, that little whisper of uncertainty (that can usually be easily drowned out when you feel secure in your environment) can rapidly transform into something far more insidious. Within a month, I started fearing that I did not have what it takes to get through the rigours of this new, unfamiliar international education system. Coupling that with the fact that my family had just spent a significant chunk of their hard-earned savings to give me this opportunity led to me suffering several panic attacks. At my lowest point, I hadn’t slept for almost four days straight and had barely eaten a meal that didn’t come straight out of a ready-to-eat packet. I would stay up all night crying with my family, wishing they could be with me, but at the same time knowing that wasn’t a viable option. They even tried to persuade me to give it all up and just come home, and we’d figure out the next step together. 

 

Looking back, what truly helped me get through that dark period were the friends I made at university. We were all in the same boat together, and knowing that they shared the same uncertainty and fears was a huge comfort. They lent an ear free from judgment or reproach, and I had never been more grateful. I realized that, though my family and friends back home would always have my back, it was important to build a local support system to feel a sense of community. The people you surround yourself with matter. Personal connection matters. 

 

This lesson has never been more relevant than now. This pandemic has brought to light many things that I have always questioned but chose to ignore, because there was always something I could use to distract myself: travel, weddings, entertainment . . . But in the past year, with all those diversions gone, I have struggled with significant aspects of my life, like my choice of career, the place I live and what matters most to me. 

 

I have found that a combination of the approaches that worked for me thus far has helped a great deal. I have forced myself to come to terms with things that no longer serve or satisfy me. This has re-ignited my drive to wholeheartedly pursue endeavours that bring me joy, and I have faith that success will follow. The very nature of the current situation prevents us from seeking out personal physical connection with those we love, and it has been difficult having to rely on solely virtual means. Nevertheless, I try to focus on keeping connected with my social circle (near and far) and checking in with them, and remind myself that I still have a great support system. 

 

However, what became painfully clear was the severe lack of friendships I had formed in the two years that I have called Vancouver my home. To try and get out there and make friends, I took advantage of the partial lifting of restrictions last summer to join hiking and outdoor adventure groups. This led me to meeting some wonderful people from various backgrounds that I probably would never have met. Most recently, I have started volunteering at local non-profits, which is what led me to Low Entropy. The feeling of acceptance and positive reinforcement that I have felt from my peers here has helped me feel a renewed sense of belonging and has helped calm that nagging voice that probably won’t ever truly go away, but can be relegated to the sidelines where it belongs. 

 

Meghna definitely belongs here, and you do too! Join our loving and empathetic community by participating in a Conscious Connections group chat, or simply drop us a comment here or on one of our other social media channels – we’re super acceptance-y!

 

Pretty Young

Posted on by andrew

Please note that this article examines suicide and suicidal ideation.

 

“That’s high,” I think, staring down onto the slowly moving waves. Hands clenched around the orange-red railing. 

What color even is this bridge? Orange or red? I don’t know. I don’t need to know now. Complete stillness. It seems like time stopped entirely, or at least it has for me. 

Water. 

Cold. 

Death. 

Do I actually want to?

No other way-

“HEY.”

Like a bullet piercing through glass, his voice stops my rushing thoughts. “Hey, what are you doing?”

He is surprisingly calm. It makes me feel calm. Or does it? I don’t respond. 

“What’s your name?”

It’s like my body wants to save me and before I can stop I hear words pouring out of my mouth.

“Okay.” He pauses. “You know how cold that water is, right?” 

“No.” I’m not sure he even heard me. 

“Probably 50, 53 degrees.” Like I can actually feel it, goosebumps start covering my body. Leave. 

Not your life. 

Mine. 

No other way. 

Do it.

No don’t.

Stop.

There is no chance to finish a single thought, constantly interrupted by his voice behind me. So close. It’s not the right timing. There is no other way.

“I don’t know you but you seem pretty young to give up on life now.”

You don’t know, I want to say but am interrupted by a sudden familiar sound. I hear my mother’s voice as if she was standing right next to me. I turn my head.

“If you give me your hand I can help you get back up. It’s not too late. There is always hope. There is always a way.”

I can’t move.

I can’t talk.

My thoughts are screaming.

A way. He says there is a way. 

There is just one thing. I’m standing on the edge. On the edge of this bridge which isn’t even golden. Just a rusty dull orange. 

And I’m seconds away from living or dying. 

 

The Golden Gate Bridge is the most popular suicide site in the United States, which has one of the highest suicide rates among wealthy countries. Having spent a lot of time in San Francisco, I used to cross the Bridge regularly, wondering about people who see no other way in life than suicide. How can you help if you don’t know what is going on in someone else’s mind?

 

I came across the story of a young man trying to take his life at the Golden Gate Bridge. An officer rescued him by convincing him to climb back up. The reason the young man decided to live is because the officer actually listened to him. 

 

I have heard stories about people dying by suicide who didn’t seem depressed or unhappy. No one really knows what’s going on inside someone else. Mental health issues like depression and anxiety are an ever-growing problem in our society and can affect anyone.

 

Especially in this isolating time, check-in with your loved ones and make sure they are okay.

 

Mental health issues don’t make you weak or a bad person.

Ask for help. 

You are not alone. 

 

Canada:

 

Canada Suicide Prevention Service: 1-833-456-4566

 

Centre for Addiction and Mental Health: 1-800-463-2338

 

Crisis Services Canada: 1-833-456-4566 or text 45645

 

Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868

 

If you need immediate assistance, call 911 or go to the nearest hospital.

 

United States: 

 

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

 

Disaster Distress Hotline: 1-800-985-5990

 

If you need immediate assistance, call 911 or go to the nearest hospital.

Like Onions and the Moon

Posted on by andrew

Armed with an arsenal of metaphors, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Nicole Riglietti waxes poetic on the nature of change and how essential it is to the human experience.

 

Change is a constant in our lives. As the moon moves through its monthly phases, so do humans; it’s inevitable. We struggle, we strive, we fail and we survive. We rely on change to help us grow, move forward and evolve. 

 

Sometimes it hits us like a fastball, curved in the wind and aimed right at our face, in a game we didn’t even know we were playing. At times we call on change to help us catapult our lives into a new direction, onto the next adventure that we spent countless hours preparing for with steadfast focus and determination. Then there are times when we long for change. For something. Anything, to fill the gruelling void of our existence. We resist change and we fight it, we even welcome it, celebrating its arrival like an old friend we haven’t seen in years. Change can be a quick fleeting moment, a flash of insight that ignites the spark within, making it impossible to look back. It comes in many waves and forms. 

 

As humans we are all onions, made up of layers through experience, boundaries and moral codes. And as change moves through us, it adds new layers. Its lifeforce lives within each choice we make, no matter how large and grandiose or how trivial and small. Change is a power that’s neither good nor bad, right nor wrong; it just is. And it waits for no one. Change can keep us grounded and humble, or it can shake us to our core, flipping our world upside down, leaving us floating amidst the carnage of a shipwreck, helpless, dazed and mostly confused. Then there’s change, laughing at us, leaving us breathless, gasping for air, paralyzed from the waist down, unable to move, let alone take a step forward. And, yet, we do. Because we are resilient people who rise up and carry on, finding our new paths, discovering our new sense of normalcy. And we adapt, as best as we can. It’s our reactions to events and circumstances that allow us to either keep moving on or pause, take a step back and re-evaluate. 

 

When we surrender to change, giving up control and truly allowing life to unfold, it can lead us to a whirlwind of beauty, of endless opportunities, of new friendships that could last a lifetime. We become elated with a euphoric sense of pride, vigour and astonishment, dancing with the stars, shining our brightest and realizing that, this whole time, we were epic, fearless warriors, defeating all obstacles and defying all odds, standing tall as a tree with its roots entangled in the ground from the murky marsh it was born in. When change occurs, we must embrace our grievances, honour our wins and accept what we cannot understand. 

 

As we adapt and evolve with time, we add another layer to the onion, with a fresh new subtle outlook on life. Until the next time, we smile and welcome change back around.

 

We can all agree that humans, like ogres, have layers. How has change added layers to your life? Let us know in the comments below, or share your experiences with our community in a Low Entropy group session.

Lessons from New Grad: Why you should try less

Posted on by andrew

Hello, my name is Hayley Chan, and I am a recent Criminology graduate of Western University. As a passionate advocate of . . .

Hey. My name is Hayley and I’ve been painstakingly Ctrl- C-ing & Ctrl -V- ing the same intro sentence across 71 different cover letters since September of 2020. 

As productive as this process seemed, it was truly just plain – painful. Painful when that hopeful Indeed job posting says they’re just looking for a new grad with excellent communication and interpersonal skills – and of course that great work ethic – only for me to later discover that the position was filled by the first female rocket scientist to ever walk on Mars.

What were my next steps, you ask? Before I get into that, it’s worth mentioning what I wish this article was actually about. I wish this article was about how to keep persevering, how to get the job over that women’s rights public speaker/rocket scientist – yes, my imaginary competitor is also an eloquent activist for feminism.

And yes, I almost always pushed through. I’d get up the next day. Make my schedule. Do my company research. Send numerous LinkedIn invitations.

Seems like I had it all together right? After all, failure is a part of the process. 

Well, that’s what I was hoping. 

But this process didn’t work for me. I was trying so hard when I should have been trying less. 

In my opinion, as we progress through the 21st century, it’s actually getting harder and harder to just “try less.” We live in a nine-to-five, workaholic, productivity-to-the-max culture.

Moreover, thanks to Facebook, Snapchat and Instagram, we are constantly bombarded with images of this lifestyle, which have become measures for normative success; it’s hard to not compare oneself to what we see on social media both consciously and subconsciously. And it’s harder to not care about how you measure up to others, and what others think about you in this respect.

This was especially true during such a monumental time in my life – post-grad. I was surrounded by people, virtually and in real life, who were jump-starting their careers, making my criminology degree feel slightly . . . useless? 

So when September came, I spent four months learning how to network and tailored polished resumes and cover letters for general business roles.   

Based on my actions, it would appear as though I cared about the field of human resources or general business administration. Wrong. 

I just cared about how I appeared. 

With each new cover letter, I was trying to convince not only the hiring managers, but also myself of my interest in the job. And I think at some point, I started to actually believe I was passionate about recruitment cycles and process improvement.   

I truly wanted to enjoy the journey because I desperately craved the end result – validation, money, prestige. 

But as stated by Mark Manson in the subtle art of not giving a f***,

What determines your success isn’t “What do you want to enjoy?” The relevant question is, “What pain do you want to sustain?”

The success of getting a full-time job in HR or in general business roles and making my first yearly salary sounded ideal. 

But when it came down to it, this end goal did not justify slaving over these job applications every day for four months – applications where I spent copious amounts of time tediously stretching my experiences to fit the job requirements. It also didn’t even justify furthering my education in those fields. These pains were genuinely not worth my time and energy, because my goals were entirely created and driven by how I wanted others to perceive me. I got so caught up in my quarter-life post-grad crisis, frantically applying to jobs from a state of urgency, where my efforts anxiously screamed, “What do I even want to do with my life?!” without actually taking the time to properly answer that question. 

It was like being newly single. You’re not too sure about what you want, and you may be kind of emotionally unavailable, but you pursue relationships that aren’t good for you or the other person. Why bother, or hurt yourself, when you could be taking that time and energy taking a break and doings you love? 

We often try jumping into things without premeditation, and we hold on so hard to how we want things to be, because these ideas supposedly measure our worth, rather than accept simple truths like:

It’s okay to be unsure.  

It’s okay if things don’t work out.

It’s okay to not have everything figured out.

It’s okay to pause, and just do what you can with what you have. 

When I stopped focusing my efforts on what I didn’t want, I was able to think more about what I actually wanted. I started receiving more responses, creating job applications more easily, and feeling more satisfied with my progress. I no longer cared about what other people thought, because I was focused on achieving a goal that would be worth my time, energy, and satisfaction in the long run. Barriers, obstacles, and failure still existed, but caring less about what others thought and caring more about what I wanted made that pain much easier to sustain. 

I’m not saying don’t reach for the stars. Just take it easy. Keep your feet on the ground and head out of the clouds – and stay off of that rocket scientist, feminist activist’s LinkedIn profile.

What’s truly worth your time? Comment below or join one of our many Low Entropy meet-ups to share your life priorities and passions with us.

Changing Careers: The Bright Side!

Posted on by andrew

When you’re stuck in the drudgery of a job you don’t like for long enough, the status quo can feel like a shadow cast from a monumental, immovable obstacle. Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Blaine Hancock, however, reminds us that if we’re willing to charge in a different direction, brighter days might be just around the corner.

 

Changing careers can be an incredibly frightening process. Leaving a career you dislike to pursue a different path can be difficult to even consider. Why leave a consistent paycheque? Why leave a career you’ve dedicated years of your life to? Why leave a job you worked so hard to get? Taking a big step away from all that you have known is never easy.

 

Well, I’m here to tell you that, though there are a few scary things about leaving a career, there are also MANY good reasons to change or consider changing careers! You will feel a renewed sense of ambition, you may reconnect with old passions you left in the dust, and much more! Hooray for the bright side! Let’s take a closer look at some positives that can come from a career change.

 

Renewed Ambition

 

After working at a job for an extended period of time, especially if it’s a job you’re not particularly fond of, you often lose your sense of motivation and struggle to pull yourself out of a monotonous routine. Once you take the step of deciding to change careers, you will feel an enormous sense of renewed ambition and drive. You will be more motivated than ever to figure out your next path. This ambition and drive will also translate to many parts of your life you have been neglecting or pushing aside. Use this ambition to create the best version of yourself.

 

Explore New Paths

 

Of course, the most obvious positive that can come from a career change is the ability to explore new career paths. Although the amount of options to consider may feel overwhelming at first, you will quickly realize that it can be so much fun to look into the next chapter of your life! Do you look for a career in a similar field? Do you do a complete 180 and change your career aspirations entirely? Do you go back to university or take a free online class? The world is your oyster!

 

Reconnect with Old Passions

 

When we change careers, we often reflect on our past and what we did, or didn’t do, to reach our current position in life. This reflection can help us remember certain pursuits and activities we used to like, but ended up temporarily kicking to the curb to pursue our current career. Reconnecting with these old passions will help you to recognize that you have way more interests than just the ones you’re pursuing currently. Furthermore, it will help you to realize that there are other career options that might be a perfect fit for you.

 

Reevaluate Your Mental Health

 

One interesting positive that can come from a career change is a reevaluation of your mental health. While working in a career you dislike, you often don’t fully realize the negative effects it can have on your mental health. Stepping away will give you more time to reevaluate how you are doing and figure out the best way to rejuvenate your mental well-being. Also, this gives you an opportunity to think about switching to a career that’s better for your mental health, or at least think about how you can better handle your mental health while working.

 

After reading this blog, you still might be hesitant and afraid to change careers or consider changing careers. That’s totally okay and understandable: it’s not an easy decision. But don’t forget, there are just as many positive reasons for a career change as there are scary ones. Remember to look on the bright side!

 

Have you made a big career change in your life? Tell us about your decision and how it’s turning out in the comments or in person with a Low Entropy discussion group!

Coming Out

Posted on by andrew

Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Justin Singh presents a primer on coming out, with resources to help us understand this important milestone in the lives of many LGBTQ2+ individuals.

 

‘Coming out’ marks a shift in the lives of many people in the LGBTQ2+ community. It’s the moment in time when a member in the community shares their true gender identity or sexuality with a world where cis heterosexuality is commonly viewed as the norm. Coming out is by no means an easy task. With it can come potential hardships that can range from minor to extremely severe. 

 

Why do people come out? Here are a few reasons:

 

  • They feel the life they are living is a lie, and they want to stop keeping secrets from the ones they love
  • They want to express themselves freely
  • They are ready to go public with their dating life and/or include their partners in their everyday lives
  • They want people to stop discriminating against them, and be more vocal about the injustices towards the LGBTQ2+ community
  • They want to inspire future generations of the community, and one day make being a part of the LGBTQ2+ community more widely accepted

 

There could also be many reasons why people decide to delay or avoid coming out altogether:

 

  • Fear of rejection from their loved ones
  • They are young and dependent on their family, and they are unsure of whether they will have the same sense of stability after coming out
  • They live in a country were the lives of the LGBTQ2+ community are threatened due to the laws of the country
  • They are not sure of their true identity just yet
  • They are simply not ready to come out

 

If you are thinking of coming out and unsure how to go about it, there are many resources you can find online that can help you on your journey to self-discovery. Here are just a few of many:

 

The Human Rights Campaign: https://www.hrc.org/resources/coming-out

This page has pamphlets available for download to assist on coming out within your personal and professional life.

 

GLSEN: https://www.glsen.org/activity/coming-out-resource-lgbtq-students

A resource dedicated to teenagers and students who are just exploring their sexuality and feel like they’re ready to take the steps to come out.

 

The Trevor Project: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/Coming-Out-Handbook.pdf

An organization that began as a hotline for crisis intervention and suicide prevention for those in the LGBTQ2+ community. They provide resources that can help any young LGBTQ2+ individual through the most confusing and difficult aspects of their life.

 

It doesn’t end there though. When you’re thinking of coming out, you could also reach out to people you already know in the LGBTQ2+ community for advice, or reach out to someone online. The internet allows for anonymity, which keeps you safe from being accidentally outed. There is also the possibility of starting your coming out journey with a trusted family member, friend or loved one, whether they are a part of the community or not.

 

Being an LGBTQ2+ ally is also an important role. You can be a support figure in the lives of those who are going through many twists and turns behind the scenes of coming out that you may not be aware of. When supporting someone who is attempting to come out, never out them yourself, to absolutely anyone. It’s important that the person coming out does so on their own terms. If you are an ally, ensure that you are there for support, guidance when specifically asked for, and most importantly, use your platform to amplify their voice!

 

In addition to those in our lives, it’s possible to find inspiration in books, television, and movies. LGBTQ2+ characters have been marginalized in mainstream media for many decades. Nowadays, stories of LGBTQ2+ experiences are finally getting the limelight they deserve. Here’s a short list of stories from different mediums that you can check out that explore coming out:

 

The Art of Being Normal by Lisa Williamson: A story about two transgender teens who meet and navigate their coming out together, in difficult social circumstances.

 

Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli: The story of Simon Spier, whose emails with another closeted gay classmate are used to blackmail him, forcing him to come out. This novel was made into a film adaptation called Love, Simon (2019).

 

Boy Erased (2018): A film about a boy who is outed as gay to his parents and forced to survive gay conversion therapy.

 

The Prom (2016): A musical about a group of washed-up Broadway stars who travel to Indiana to help a lesbian student who is banned from bringing her closeted girlfriend to the prom. The Prom was turned into a Netflix film, released in late 2020.

 

Despite the many resources available, coming out is ultimately a personal decision. Take time to research and think about when it’s time and what the right decision is for you.

 

If you’re comfortable sharing your story about coming out with a supportive, positive community, we’d love to hear it! Check out one of our Low Entropy meetings, or speak your truth in a comment below.

Finding Your Community

Posted on by andrew

Looking to expand your social circle? Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Joelle Chia has five tips for finding your entourage.

 

“What is important is family, friends, giving back to your community and finding meaning in life.” These words said by Adrian Grenier may seem simple, but they shed light on the importance of kinship. In this context, community is a group of like-minded individuals who share similar ideas, beliefs and experiences, and who seek to feel less alone in their individual quest. Everybody’s existing communities differ, and each person is at a different stage in their life. It can be difficult to find an understanding and accepting group of people. Some may even feel that they don’t belong or fit in with their current groups, and if that’s you – not to worry! Your community could help you navigate life through thick and thin. Here are five tips to find the right community and nurture these healthy relationships:

 

  1. Assess your personal needs and wants

 

The first step is to consider where you are in your life. Perhaps you are a freshman at a new college, or maybe you just moved into an unfamiliar neighborhood. Regardless of how far along you are in life, ask yourself: “What exactly am I looking for, and what challenges do I currently face?” You may come to a conclusion that, after moving to a new college away from home, loneliness arises from being thrust into a new environment where you do not have the support system you once had. This question and answer process will operate your drive to search for community. When you state your needs, those needs are more likely to be met.

 

     2. Don’t be afraid to be you

 

The phrase “just be yourself” may sound cliché and overused, but it holds true when you are looking to find a like-minded community. People tend to be drawn to those who share similar personalities, experiences and beliefs as them. This means not being hesitant to share your interests and passions, and being confident in your own skin. When people show more of themselves and have an authentic outward profile, others will naturally gravitate towards them. Put this into practice the next time you are in any public setting or group event. Chances are that you will discover you have more in common with others than you thought, and remember: the first step to finding people like yourself is to show up as yourself.

 

     3. Get familiar with your local environment

 

Many communities are created by proximity and a common location. This can be explained by a phenomenon called the mere-exposure effect. It holds that people tend to develop preferences for familiar things. Applied to communities, the mere-exposure effect suggests that the more exposed to the same group of people you are, the more familiar you will become to each other, and the more likely friendship will arise. For example, if you recently moved to a brand-new city and are looking to meet new people, a great option would be to join regular local events you are interested in. When you become familiar with people you see regularly, bonds can form. The internet is a great place to start the search for a nearby location to find others like you. 

 

     4. Do not be afraid to ask others

 

Many people were introduced to loved ones and their present community through connections. Even if you are an introvert (like I am), it is always possible to build amazing relationships with people you think are similar to you. Test the waters to try different opportunities, including online and local groups. You can even ask for recommendations from acquaintances, and be open to meet individuals through existing relationships. The further you expand your network, the more likely you will be able to find the right people to be a part of your community. Checking around and being curious to meet new people are some of the best ways to find a fit.

 

     5. Actively listen

 

Though it is important to seek out opportunities for yourself, sometimes it is easy to be caught up in your own needs. To build effective connections, you should have a genuine interest in others and their ways of life. Community is a constant cycle of giving and receiving. If energy is not put in to know others on an interpersonal level, it will be difficult for a sense of community to take shape. Oftentimes, what many need is someone to listen to and understand them. When you are able to listen well and show others your appreciation and thoughts, a deeper connection is born, which will revitalize your relationships. 

 

If you’re looking for community, you’re in luck! Low Entropy has a great one, both online and in person. Whether it’s right here in our comments section, on our Instagram or TikTok accounts, or at a Conscious Connections meet-up, we’ve got supportive, empathetic people who will welcome you with gratitude and positivity.

The Can-Do Attitude: A How-To

Posted on by andrew

 

How exactly do you create a positive mindset? Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Tristan Goteng details his process.

 

When you pour water into a cup halfway, think of the glass as half-filled, rather than half-empty.

 

You may have heard that line told to you a few times over the years. I certainly hear it from many different people, during many different occasions. It always circles back to the idea of having a “positive” outlook or mindset on the task at hand. The phrase makes it seem so easy to do, but how does one actually think positively? And is it always beneficial? 

 

Everyone has something that they can improve on, whether physically, emotionally or mentally. It could be going to the gym to get fit, or finding your soulmate. Lately, I personally have set a goal for myself to work on: to go into any task, whether daunting or not, with a positive mindset. Why? Because anything you do becomes 10, or even 20 times better and more efficient when you are happy doing the job. I am just a grade 10 student, and I find that doing homework while feeling angry or reluctant to work makes time feel like a slow, dragging and straight-up awful experience. But when the subject is something I really enjoy, such as English class, I find that my productivity skyrockets, and I get my homework done in no time. The goal for me is to change the way I see my school subjects, and enjoy learning them all. I believe that this mentality can be applied to anything anybody does. There are many things a person can do to achieve this mindset, but I warn you there is no secret formula you can drink up to suddenly become the most productive, happy person in the world. The real key is consistency and determination. 

 

So where can you start? First thing’s first: you have to ask yourself, “Why am I wanting to shift my mindset to the ‘brighter’ side? Is it because I want to grow, improve, and enjoy life? Or is it so I can be more productive at work and get more things done?” Whatever the answer is, remember it. This is what drives you, and it is the foundation for your new good habit you are about to develop. If it isn’t strong enough – meaning, if your will to change isn’t very strong – this tower will fall, and your success in achieving this mindset will be far from reach. During this journey, whenever you might feel scared or unmotivated to keep going, remember why you are doing this, and it will help you push forward, past your fears, past your barriers and past your comfort zone.

 

The next thing that must happen is conscious reflection, and then self-comfort. During this stage, you have your task in front of you, but haven’t started yet. Before you begin, I want you to find a quiet place, if you can, and close your eyes. Think to yourself purposefully. “As I do this task, what positive benefits are there?” “Who is relying on me to complete this task?” “How will I feel after I complete this task?” Find those answers, and think about them. Then, comfort yourself. Think about good memories, your loved ones, friends, experiences. After, whisper or think to yourself some support. Say, “You can do this, I know you can.” “There are people rooting for you, even if you might not know who.” “Relax, this is going to be a good learning experience” “Look at the end of the tunnel! There are so many positive things coming out of this after you are done!” Finally, take a deep breath and open your eyes. Hopefully, you might even be smiling a bit too! Then go to your task, perhaps stretch a bit, and get working. Whenever you feel like not wanting to keep at it, take a small break, think of your memories, your reasons to work and the base of the structure you have built to remind yourself why you think positively.

 

It takes a lot of effort to consciously enjoy doing something you may not initially like – trust me, I experienced my fair share of that. But when you are done with the task, it is one of the most relieving and rewarding experiences. You can look back at the work and pat yourself on the shoulder. Congratulations, you stepped out of your comfort zone, and enjoyed something you used to dislike. The next step is to keep at it with the same mentality every time you have a job to complete.  

 

Is there any time where having a negative mindset is good? No! Of course not. But there is a difference between having a pessimistic view and understanding risks/negative outcomes. When you are pessimistic, you don’t want to do the task in front of you because you are tired or angry, or it seems too hard. In contrast, understanding risks involves avoiding activities where the risk outweighs the accomplishment. It might be a life-threatening experience that you aren’t ready for just yet. Or the most likely outcome will put your family in jeopardy. Every situation is different, and I support looking at both sides of an outcome before committing. But when working, utilising a positive mindset results in an overall better experience. 

 

I can’t force you to change. Nobody can. Only you have the power to change yourself. You must believe in yourself and want to change, and only then can you be successful.

 

What is something you wish you could see in a more positive light? What would you have to tell yourself to make that happen? Drop by a Low Entropy meet-up or let us know in the comments below!

Five Things You Wish Adults Had Told You Before You Became One

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Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Sujana Jeganthas drops some knowledge on how to adult, and it has nothing to do with pensions or utilities bills.

 

Whether you are already well into your adulthood or just beginning it, one thing we all have in common is not knowing what being an adult actually means. As teenagers, most of us are told what adults are supposed to be, whether it means having a family by a certain age or having a high-paying job. The one thing adults never tell you is that not everything you know about being an adult is necessarily true. 

 

Looking back at my teenage years, there are things I wish I’d known before adulthood. So, for the teenagers thinking, “I can’t wait to grow up and have a big house,” here are five things I wish I knew when I was your age:

 

  1. Money is not everything

 

For a long time, I was always told that having a job at the age of 16 is important, to save for a car and pay off future school debts. This can feel overwhelming, especially since you are still being told when you can and can’t use the bathroom. After being in-between jobs for so long and finally finding one later on, I realized that money should not be my top priority. Discovering hobbies, making social connections and focusing on your well-being, as well as school, should always come before money. After all, even if money pays your bills and lets you buy things, it isn’t going to satisfy the desire to maintain a healthy mind, body and soul.

 

  1. You don’t need to have children to feel fulfilled in life

 

This was a hard one for me to swallow, especially since I was always taught that having a family is a blessing and an end-goal. Even now, when I tell people I don’t want children, I’m always told that “I will eventually change my mind.” Truthfully, I don’t know if I will change my mind, but what I do know is that, regardless of my decision, it’s a choice that I can only make.

 

If you feel pressured into having children but aren’t sure if you want any, this is a sign telling you it’s okay to not know. There’s more to life than just having a family.

 

  1. Life is not a race, nor a competition.

 

I feel like a lot of people tend to compare their lives to those around them, whether it is on social media or even just wondering if they are working at a slow pace and need to speed up. What most people don’t know is that there are probably lots of people out there who have been married for 15 years but got divorced and others who had a one-night stand and are still together after 30 years of marriage.

 

The point is that life is not about doing specific things by a certain age. It’s about enjoying what life has to offer and allowing good things to come your way, not trying to force it.

 

  1. Life does not end when you become an adult

 

A lot of people hit a certain age where they no longer feel like celebrating their birthday because they are getting “old.” The saying “age is just a number” is especially true when you feel like you’re not young enough to do certain things anymore. In reality, you still have a lot of things to experience before that back pain worsens.

 

  1. It’s okay if you have no idea what you want to do

 

In all honesty, a lot of adults, even those who have been adults for a long time, still have absolutely no clue what they want to do. Indecision is a common affliction when it comes to decisions in adulthood, and a lot of us still feel overwhelmed at the fact that we are just thrown into life and told to figure out how to pay for taxes and debts. 

 

Even if you have no idea what you want to do, pursuing new opportunities and things that interest you will always be the right step forward in figuring that out. Don’t worry about having to find your ideal career within a month of graduating school. Not everything will come as easily as you think. After all, failing to succeed in any pursuit doesn’t mean you’re not good at it – it might simply be a stepping stone that will lead you to your milestone!

 

Do you not have any idea what you want to do? How little of an idea do you have? Take a shot at describing this in the comments section, or try to explain it in front of people (supportive people!) at a Low Entropy meet-up.

The Career Box

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Sometimes convincing yourself to stop holding you back can be more difficult than overcoming external obstacles. After making a big career commitment at a young age, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Janki Patel was able to look back and realize that it’s okay to make decisions that are right for you now, regardless of what you thought in the past.

 

I was 17 when I made the decision to pursue a career in childcare. At the time, I thought it was the perfect choice for a person like me – a person whose top qualities involve being empathetic, patient, and caring. I was sure of my decision, but people around me expected better. It wasn’t perceived as a ‘notable’ profession, and I was referred to as a babysitter or nanny. I was constantly told that the career pays very little, is highly stressful, and not suitable as a long-term option. Despite the negativity tossed towards me, I started my three-year certification program with a positive attitude. 

 

Throughout those three years, as many students do, I experienced several breakdowns. One of them involved nearly dropping out of college because I doubted myself. I doubted my ability to be a successful educator. I dreaded most of my internships, and toward the end of the program, I felt like I had put myself in a box: a box where each side was sealed tightly, and as much as I wanted to get out, I couldn’t bring myself to. This was a choice I made, so I felt too guilty to complain. 

 

Nevertheless, I completed the program and spent several years working at a preschool. I surprisingly fell in love with the job, but I didn’t know how I would feel about it on a long-term basis. I enjoyed planning and implementing activities for my group, consoling a child whose crayon broke, or gathering the group for story time. I don’t think there is anything more rewarding than being able to view the world from a child’s perspective. I don’t think I was a terrible educator. I doubted myself as a student in training, but I was confident once I gained work experience. Even then, as each year passed, I became more restless and that empty feeling inside of me revisited. 

 

Fast forward to last year, when the unwelcome pandemic hit and boy, did it hit hard. It was mid-July when I got the call to start transitioning back to work. I immediately felt anxious, and I knew exactly why. No, it was not because of the virus. It was because I wanted to finally let go. I wanted to rip that box open and give myself another chance. I wanted to tell my 17-year-old self that she would not be a failure if she didn’t know what she wanted to do, that being lost is a part of the process and that, since she robbed herself of it before, she’ll deal with it now. 

 

Eventually, I left my childcare job. I still love working with children and could even see myself going back to it later in life, but for now, I want to explore. I was abnormally exhausted at the end of my workday and, at rare times, I didn’t look forward to the next. It takes a lot of energy to work with a group of young children, and I lacked some of it as time passed. I constantly pondered other possible jobs I could try that would, most importantly, allow me to pursue my love for writing. 

 

In December 2020, I graduated with another degree in education. As I reflect back on my professional career, I don’t regret any of it at all. I will always take it as a learning curve and be grateful that I had the opportunity to grow mentally, emotionally and physically. While some teenagers are encouraged to take their time, explore their options and then work toward a career goal, I simply thought I didn’t have that option. The truth was, I didn’t need somebody to tell me, I just needed to accept that fact myself. 

 

I think, as individuals, we get sucked into this whirlpool of academic and professional chaos – the type of chaos that begins the moment a child goes through their first day of school. From there, say goodbye to your personal growth and identity. It’s all about what you can and cannot do, alongside constant improvement. Don’t get me wrong, these things are great, and usually necessary to thrive in a fast-paced society . . . but at what cost?

 

I decided to break free from this whirlpool. At first, I felt ashamed to start exploring new career options and start afresh, mostly because I’d thought I had everything figured out and there I was, at 23 years old, breaking away from six years of education and work. I’m in a much better place now, mentally, emotionally and physically. I feel like I have room to breathe after years of believing I only had one option: to stay contained in the box I created for myself. I accepted that it is okay to start over and pick a pace that matches my needs. There is no race I need to win, and there is no finish line in this career journey.

 

Choosing a career is not a joke and should not be taken lightly, but it’s also important to understand that life goes beyond a position and paycheck. It took me some time to accept this fact, but the moment I did, I felt a sense of relief – a feeling I had not experienced since I was 17. And this time, I plan to keep it alive. 

 

Have you ever decided to steer your life in a whole new direction? Would you like to? Tell us about it in a Low Entropy meet-up, or simply pop down to the comments section and leave us a note!

There and Back Again: On the Road to Change

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Andrew Woods, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Please note that this article contains brief references to substance use.

 

“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.”
― Terry Pratchett

 

From the day-in, day-out perspective, it’s difficult to discern where and when change occurs. Can there possibly be such a thing as change, as we maneuver through the minutiae of our daily lives?

 

Between grocery shopping, our studies, our household chores, our jobs, our family duties … between paying bills and scrolling through politically motivated Facebook memes … where does “change” fit in?

 

And yet, I look back 10 years (or more) and it becomes overwhelmingly obvious that so much has changed. It becomes almost alarming to observe the changes that I’ve undergone. 

 

I was what the nurses called “a frequent flyer.” I wasn’t the only one who had earned that honour, though. Many of “us” had become accustomed to cycling in and out of those hospital wards. I spent Christmases and birthdays there, walking aimlessly up and down the halls, staring blankly out the locked windows overlooking the grounds, chain smoking cigarettes out front with the other patients.

 

After every hospital discharge, I’d keep to the straight and narrow for a couple months, but I’d always find myself back where I started – flushing my prescribed meds and looking to score my drugs of choice.

 

And then I’d end up right back on the ward. 

 

That was my life, in a nutshell, for a good 10 years or so. And oddly enough, I was comfortable with it. After all, I had discovered an identity in that lifestyle. I had taken on various labels: bipolar, mentally ill, obsessive-compulsive, drug seeker, troubled youth … and I began to wear those labels with a sense of misaligned pride. I was caught in a landslide, grasping for anything that would yield some stability. And as a young adult, having a sense of identity offered a bit of steadiness, even when everything else was precariously unbalanced. Predictably, the more I attached to that sense of self, however distorted it was, the more complete I felt. 

 

I was told, early on in my recovery, that change is the only constant in life. Everything else is impermanent and variable … our jobs, our homes, our friends, our family … it’s all either coming or going. But what can absolutely be guaranteed is our own personal evolution. 

The unfortunate reality is, change is difficult. And often we put up a lot of resistance to it. 

Some of us, like myself, have had to hit rock bottom before deciding to embrace change.

 

I had to do something … different.

 

I didn’t really see any other alternative … I didn’t want to risk uncovering what was beneath rock bottom.

 

I went all in. Change or no change.

 

Exercise.

Diet.

Meditation.

Breathwork.

Social supports.

Therapy.

 

Taking on the challenge of modifying my every conditioned thought and behaviour was no easy task. In fact, it was an impossible task. I didn’t realize that true change would need to come from within, that it was a slow, painful process, and that I was in it for the long haul. Maybe that’s why change is so very difficult for us – because the journey to lasting change follows a steep and rocky road, and everyone falls down along the way. 

 

I certainly admit to falling down along this journey. Not just once … but many times I’ve fallen.  And perhaps in falling down I learned life’s most valuable lesson – always get back up.

 

Nowadays, my sense of identity has expanded beyond what I could’ve previously imagined. Not in an egoic, full-of-myself kind of way. But in a way that is conducive to healing, and living a better, more fulfilling life. There have been many lessons learned over the past several years, and admittedly … I learned some of those the hard way.

 

I emphasize, however, that embracing self-growth, and the journey along our own self-evolution … it isn’t some kind of chore like doing the dishes or folding laundry.

 

No, witnessing the myriad of ways in which we, as individuals, flourish through all of life’s challenges is by far the most rewarding experience available to us.

 

In fact, that is why we’re here.

 

That’s it.

 

To evolve, to grow, to nurture and thrive.

 

And it isn’t about moving from point A to point B, as if life is a roadmap with a destination marked in red ink.

 

Instead, I think our journeys through life often lead us right back to where we started, to a world that is strangely familiar, and relatively unchanged.

 

And we realize that it was never about changing the world.

 

It was about changing ourselves.

 

The Fearless Art of Changing Your Life

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They are common notions, that life-changing experiences occur rarely and require drastic measures. Not so, posits Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Daniel Wilkens. Daniel proposes that, at any time, we are surrounded by a myriad of life-altering, low-barrier opportunities, just waiting to make us into the best versions of ourselves.

 

Sometimes change is forced upon us. Sometimes it’s for the better, but not always. Often we struggle to accept change and have to find ways to deal with new realities. But if we are feeling like we’re spinning our wheels and not getting anywhere, we don’t have to wait for changes to happen and hope they are positive. We can initiate change ourselves, sometimes with very little effort.

 

A number of years ago, I was given the opportunity through work to volunteer at the local high school track for the Relay for Life cancer fundraiser. They were looking for a photographer and, being handy with a camera, I volunteered my services. I was to photograph the event and present them with a digital record of their efforts – no big deal. I didn’t even blink at giving four or five hours to a good cause. I’m so glad I did! 

 

My first year was a real eye-opener. It was one of the biggest events in the town, with multiple teams, dozens of volunteers and hundreds of spectators, donators and well-wishers. There were people present who were cancer survivors themselves. Participants were thrilled that someone was there to take pictures of their accomplishments. Most ended up laughing, posing, being silly and getting family members together for group shots.

 

Did volunteering that one afternoon change my life? Absolutely! I met town council members, business people, entertainers and other photographers. Because of it I got offers to shoot weddings, engagements and sporting competitions. I cemented great friendships. People still recognize me from my time there. I went on to volunteer in this capacity for another seven years.

 

The point is, changing things up doesn’t have to involve a big, scary, complicated commitment. It can be simple and rewarding. Seeking personal growth is not just admirable, it’s essential. And the best part is, you can do it anytime!

 

Think about that – you can change your life at any time. I know so many people who are stuck in ruts. They go to the same job, hang out with the same people, listen to the same music, eat the same food, drive the same route to work – and then wonder why they are bored, listless, uninspired and unhappy. If you don’t like your current circumstance – change it! You can reshape your life in a couple of hours if that’s what you want to do.

 

I’m not suggesting you quit your job, run away and go live off the grid. I am saying that making personal adjustments is quicker and less intimidating than most people realize or are led to believe. Little changes can lead to huge results without jeopardizing your stability. 

 

Everything you know, everyone you meet and everything you do has the potential to change your life. Everything connects to everything else. People come and go (and come back) throughout your life. Never pass up a chance to help someone out for no reason. It’s not just exercising human decency. A junior staff member you help with a minor problem now can resurface as your supervisor at another company years down the road. You will have a built-in good relationship with that person because you once took a few minutes out of your day. Is *that* creating change for yourself? Of course.

 

“It’s not what you know, it’s who you know,” the old saying goes. Personally, I think it’s a good healthy chunk of both. I’m addicted to lifelong learning. You can take online courses on absolutely any topic that exists. Those courses are often reasonably priced and in-depth. For as little as the price of a fast food lunch you can learn Photoshop, how to perform card tricks (fool your friends!), how to cook with white wine and so on. Any knowledge you acquire gives you more tools in your life-changing arsenal. Knowledge gives new layers, new perspectives and new outlooks. A spontaneous remark to an acquaintance about a course you’re taking could spin your life in a whole new direction.

 

Being proactive, interacting with people and searching out new experiences are the best ways I know to make lifelong changes. You may not always know how those changes will manifest – but they’ll happen. Granted, this was all easier a year ago, when you could join a gym, join a theatre group, go on a bus trip, attend a craft workshop, take guitar lessons, get a part time job at the cafe downtown, etc. Hopefully those opportunities will return in some form. And even though we are at this crazy time in our history, it’s still possible to meet new people and make new connections.

 

Network, network, network. Expanding your circle will always pay off. Learn new things, make new friends, believe in yourself and don’t be afraid to change your life for the better.

 

What would you like to do to make your life better? Share your ideas live with others in a Low Entropy meet-up, or simply jot a few words in the comments below!

Conscious community

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We live in an era where life is dynamic and speedy. We are always caught up in our day-to-day life and are unconsciously doing one thing after another. We never take a moment to evaluate our unconscious behavior patterns, and as a result,  we end up surrounding ourselves with people who may be self-centered. When we surround ourselves with people who only care about themselves, we end up being like them. We start losing values like empathy, compassion and understanding. It also causes us to feel lost and unsatisfied. When we spend our time with those people, it may work out for a bit, but in the extended run, it starts to exhaust us mentally and emotionally.

 

However, we all have the ability to improve our lives by making certain changes. One of these changes is being conscious. In simple terms, consciousness is self-awareness: awareness of our thoughts, feelings and actions. We must train our minds to be conscious, and to achieve that we must practice being present and spend time with people who are mindful and self-aware. We should seek out those who  feel committed to a sense of personal purpose and growth – a growth that not only causes us to feel fulfilled, but also makes the world a better place to be in.

 

It is pivotal to surround ourselves with conscious people because we are the byproduct of those with whom we invest our time and energy. When conscious individuals

connect with one another with the intention of growth, it can positively transform their outlook

on life through mutual motivation and support.

This becomes a growth journey, and the participants can gain

knowledge they could not have gained individually. Growth can be scary, and even triggering at times: your circle should be sensitive to this, and committed to motivating, upholding and hearing each other. This small change can  significantly help us build an optimistic perspective in life.

 

Low Entropy provides an excellent platform to connect with

positive, like-minded people. It brings people together with the goal of personal development in safe spaces, where we practice mental, emotional and personal awareness,  without judgement. In a conscious community, we can find the courage to be radically honest with ourselves: all parts of our story are truly accepted and welcomed.

 

Another thoughtful service offered by Low Entropy called One on One Compassion Connection allows us to practice unconditional love, kindness, and compassion between two individuals. It enables us to be more present, which breaks our dysfunctional pattern of unconsciousness. It is a harmonious, safe place for us to rewire our brain and truly accept all parts of ourselves.

 

When everyone feels safe enough to share parts of themselves that are difficult to reveal, we gain strength and empathy. We enable ourselves to stretch our hearts to understand and love unconditionally. We start evolving into people who are happier and healthier, and through this  practice, love will start to show up in our lives and relationship in ways we would have never imagined before.  

 

Author: Jaspreet Kaur

Can We Be the Leaders of Our Lives?

Posted on by andrew

A Youth Empowering Youth meeting recap

“Youth Empowering Youth is a program that aims to inspire young people to become leaders in the future. The core of this program is to provide a safe environment for a younger generation in which the participants can feel secure and confident to share their feelings and thoughts. Each session’s final goal is to be a catalyst to encourage youth to explore their talents in a meaningful approach.”

How can we become leaders? How can we be a positive role model for others? Is leadership something that we are born with, or is it an attitude that we can learn? Are leaders the kind of people that change problems to challenges? Can we keep improving in skills that we lacked if we keep moving and working hard? These questions were discussed in the last session of the Youth Empowering Youth (YEY) program. 

Participants were together for the last summer YEY meeting on Zoom recently. Each participant had the opportunity to express their ideas and feelings towards the past weeks of learning. The graduation meeting included two fantastic guest speakers who were open to sharing their life and leadership experience, which created a friendly and inclusive atmosphere.

The meeting started with a brief review of the topics of the previous session. For instance, they discussed how to change a problem into a challenge, and perspective. One facilitator gave an example of how, for a mechanic, a broken car is a challenge, but for another person it could be a problem. Also, participants recalled the growth formula, and one of the participants shared her point of view on it. She said that, “When someone starts doing something, that person will become better if they just keep trying and trying.”

Afterwards, one of the facilitators introduced the last session’s topic with just a simple question: “Why do you want to be a leader?” That’s a challenging question to answer, even for adults. However, these young participants were prepared to answer this. Some participants said they wanted to be a good role model and inspire people to be better. Another participant expressed her intention of being a leader because she wanted to share her ideas and ambitions. One other participant said that she didn’t want to be in the shadows anymore, and some participants agreed with this statement. It is interesting to see that even people as young as 12 to 18 years old can clearly express why they want to become the leaders of their lives.

The meeting ran smoothly, the facilitators asked questions, and members answered with eagerness. One question that excelled in the forum was about the qualities of a good leader. An interesting fact that came out was that most of the participants shared the same view on the required qualities to be a good leader.

They believed good leaders were:

  • Confident in their ability to lead the journey
  • Willing to listen to other people’s opinion and ideas
  • Willing to help people
  • Willing to step out of their comfort zone
  • Confident in their judgment skills
  • Easy to approach
  • Confident, responsible and accountable

What was surprising was that none of the participants believed they could be leaders, because they associated leaders with high management positions. However, through this conversation, the facilitators explained that being a leader is more than a job or position. It is about enduring life, working hard and helping others, because in a way, we are all leaders.  Leadership is a way to live, to express oneself and to take the initiative to do something good.

Participants were surprised by this revelation, and the facilitator asked again if they felt like a leader. 

Some of the participants had changed their minds.

Before presenting the first guest speaker, the facilitators asked which one of the previous sessions had been the most helpful for building learning qualities. One participant said that session five, about failure, was mind-blowing because she had always feared failure. She believed that a good leader would never fail, but after that session, she understood that failure is part of growing. It’s impossible to be always on the right path. Sometimes failure is part of the process. 

Another participant talked about session two, which was about how your attitude influences your outlook in life. Each person is the architect of their own thoughts. Each person manages their way of sensing life events and staying positive. At the end of this part of the meeting, most participants felt that they identified with this session.

After the leadership discussion, the facilitators announced the first guest speaker Jay DeMerit, a retired professional football player. He was the captain of the Vancouver Whitecaps, and he now dedicates his time to give motivational talks to young people.

Jay came to the meeting with a clear objective to give a meaningful speech about his life journey. He talked about his path to becoming a professional football player. He talked about the struggles he overcame to reach his dreams and the hard work he did to achieve it. One phrase that defined his entire presentation was “dream big, think small.” 

Jay explained that we must dream big, and to achieve this, we must work in small steps. Jay’s goal was to empower the participants to do their best. He gave fantastic advice to follow.

  • Find a mentor or a person to look up to. If you admire someone, look at how they behave and how hard they work, and try to be better.
  • Take step one at the time. Each small accomplishment toward your dream must be celebrated.
  • Get out of your comfort zone.
  • Micromanage your goals, ask questions, communicate with others and don’t be afraid to fail, because after each failure, you can find an opportunity to grow.
  • Believe in yourself.

The second guest speaker was Brittney Grabill, a Canadian film producer and actress living in Los Angeles, working as a casting associate. She shared a little about her work experiences as an actress and how leadership has been part of her life. Brittney talked about being a leader since she was a little girl. She said that she was the kind of person who enjoyed creating plans and playing sports. Her first dream was to be an athlete, but she had to go through a medical procedure that changed the way she looked at life when she was younger.

Some of the stories that she also shared were about her following her dreams of acting because she enjoyed working in her family business. One piece of advice that she gave to the participants was to explore different paths. We might have one or more identity crises in life. Sometimes, we can feel attracted to two or three paths simultaneously. She encouraged the audience to have the courage to explore, since shifting and adaptation are part of life.

Brittney shared how she maintains a positive mind even in the most stressful times. She said that she would write small gratitude notes each day, and she encouraged each participant to practice this. She said that humans don’t tend to be positive thinkers, so it’s important to list down what we’re grateful for from time to time. These lists are reassuring during difficult times.

Jay and Brittney were refreshing speakers full of anecdotes and life experiences who provided new views about applying mindful daily leadership skills.

To wrap up the session, the participants shared how they felt before and after the  YEY program:

Congratulations to the participants for being part of this fantastic program, and congratulations to the facilitators for sharing their time and experience with each YEY program member..c

 

Author: Catherine A Pulgar E.

Edited by: Karissa deGuzman

Transformation

Posted on by andrew

by Anna Bernsteiner

 

You grow like a sunflower reaching up to the sun in mid-May. 

There is no other way, but forward. 

Slowly, unnoticeable at first. 

You pierce through the dirt.

Air, Sunshine, life. 

Up you go with a goal in mind. 

Shaking off all the darkness and doubts. 

Grow grow grow that’s all you know

 

There are times when it gets dark. 

No light in sight. 

All you want is some daylight 

And yet the sunshine always returns

Giving you strength. 

Even when all the others are far ahead. 

You shine on your own time. 

No rush. 

There is none of you that isn’t enough. 

 

And as you realize that truth

It’s now your time to bloom.

Yellow, orange, brown 

It’s like you are wearing a dashing crown. 

It seems that now 

you don’t need to reach up to the sun.

You don’t hide and run. 

You know, you are the center of your own life.

And finally, 

you bloom like a sunflower that found its light in mid-July

 

Modern Isolation

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Right now, we have never been more united, and at the same time never more alone. This global pandemic is impacting everyone’s lives in ways that – for many of us – is completely unprecedented. We have to deal with a reality where we are all being encouraged to stay home, avoid others, and choose who will be allowed within our personal “bubbles” – which of our friends and family will make the cut? Who can we not live without? Who can we not risk visiting, in case we ourselves are a danger to them? Who cares enough to stay in touch?

         As this pandemic continues to impact our daily lives, we need to find strategies to cope. There is a great deal of pressure to find a solution, and find it now. This is a novel experience of isolation and loneliness: even if we are sheltering in place while surrounded by family, we have a sense of being caged and restricted from our normal lives. We have lost the sense of freedom, relaxation, and emotional support gained from our favorite places, people, and activities. With this loss, I have seen a new sense of depression and malaise in many friends and colleagues. With this sense of sadness, it makes reaching out to friends and family that much more difficult. Negative thoughts prevent us from just starting what should be an easy conversation: “Do they even want to hear from me?”  “I could call or message them, but I have nothing to talk about.”

         It is very difficult to break out of a depressive spiral on your own, and even if you have a supportive family or partner at home, sometimes it takes a bit more. It’s okay, it’s understandable, and there are solutions available. When we feel so isolated, having a fresh group of people can bring an objective and uplifting look to help brighten up your life. It is amazing how this situation can feel so numbing and overwhelming, but as soon as you start talking about it out loud, a whole new perspective can be achieved. This is one of the best benefits of meeting with a support group like Conscious Connections – you can speak openly and candidly about your thoughts, feelings, and experiences, and connect with other people who are working through the same challenges.

         Conscious Connections strives to be an open and supportive space, helping those in our community who feel alone and in need of conversation and acceptance. If it’s a challenge to just get through each day, it’s so important to know that there are options out there for people who need some positivity, or who would really benefit from a new connection with peers. Your peer-sharing circle will help ease the hard times, and celebrate victories and successes with authenticity. It is always uplifting to know that we are not alone in a world that has made it all too easy to be in isolation.

 

Author: Mike Vanessa

Low Entropy

Posted on by andrew

In a time when ‘social distancing’ is the most prevalent and vital of personal health practices, isolation can put extra pressure on our emotional, and spiritual health. Distancing to protect those who are the most vulnerable in our society can make many of us feel like we’re being overlooked. Whatever gains we’ve made in our personal betterment, emotional development and spiritual enlightenment may now feel deprioritized.

 

How are we meant to stay connected and yet, maintain our sense of comfort and support? Where is the sympathetic ear, the voice of calm reasoning and firm reassurance in a period of such tumult and unrest? For those who need to be heard, and for those who need to hear that voice, it’s still here. ​We are still here.

 

In the wake of a mandate which leaves us feeling confused and isolated, Low Entropy is a resource that continues to aid personal development. It’s a support system that highlights the resilience of our community in such difficult times.

 

As an organization, we understand that self-isolation and social distancing can put a strain on the community’s psyche. Low Entropy is a group of people with a common goal: we aspire to explore the inner reaches of ourselves through mindfulness and meditation, and as a result, achieve a significant social impact from a place of compassion. We share ideas and vent feelings in a safe environment, and support our members to realize their goals outside of the community. 

 

Throughout the pandemic, we continued to offer online peer support group sessions in

an attempt to give people the tools to feel connected to themselves and their community. 

 

The response we received was outstanding. 

 

When participants were asked about their experiences, they were overwhelmingly happy. 

 

One participant commented, “It creates a space for like-minded people to share and grow in awareness. It gives participants the opportunity to raise their level of consciousness to a more cooperative and loving perspective.”

 

This was very inspiring feedback not only from an empirical perspective of an organization looking to gauge its value to its community, but also from a perspective of real social development.

 

We at Low Entropy believe in a holistic approach to social change. Positive action may only come from those with a positive and centered outlook, however, the ability to achieve and maintain this outlook requires sustained guidance from a dedicated support network.

 

A like-minded community collectively working towards social action is a valuable quality in any progressive society. A group of sound and composed minds working together for a higher state of emotional and spiritual support in these times can not only help maintain a sense of stability, but encourage a state of hope and growth. The more people work towards attaining a low entropic state, the more their influence will spread through noticeable acts of compassion. Their influence will give others the energy to rebuild in the wake of such difficult times.

 

Author: Rory MacDonald

Edited by: Karissa deGuzman

Stuck at Home Schooling

Posted on by andrew

Depending on where you are, it’s been about a year that we’ve been living with COVID-19. With the world put on hold for what seems like forever, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Özge Akdeniz had enough free time to put together a collection of insightful, optimistic lessons learned from an otherwise awful ordeal.

 

The coronavirus pandemic has been hard on everybody, myself included. But in the time left after complaining about how unfair life is, I thought about the life lessons I have learnt from this whole mess. So without further ado, let’s take a look at my ideas about the possible positive lessons we can take from the pandemic:

 

1) You’re not in control.

 

Yes, I know. It doesn’t sound that good. But bear with me. As humans, we enjoy the feeling of control. Some of us could even plan their entire life if they were given the chance. But in reality, we really don’t choose what’s going to happen to us, for the most part. Who could predict this pandemic beforehand? But here it is, changing our lives and throwing our plans off. Though it sounds depressing at first, doesn’t it make you feel better, the idea that you’re not the only reason why things aren’t going the way they were supposed to? This is just the right time to stop beating yourself up about all of your “failures”. 

 

2) Small things matter.

 

Going to a café and spending some time reading while I sip my coffee in a nice ambiance wasn’t something I appreciated enough before the pandemic. Nor was being able to meet with a friend and hug them. But after all, I learnt that life is all about those small things I enjoy. Even being able to comfortably breathe without a mask was a huge blessing. But I know that someday, I will be able to do these things again. Meanwhile, I’ll just focus on what blessings I have right now. 

 

3) Health is a priority.

 

How often do you stop to appreciate your health? Your body is working to keep you alive every single second. But oftentimes we don’t give our health the attention it deserves. It’s only when it is taken away, or when it is in danger, that we understand its importance. The most valuable thing you have is a properly working body and mind. Countries all over the world are fighting to keep people alive, despite the financial consequences of closing down businesses. I used to think that money ruled the world. But I was wrong. Nothing is more important to us than being alive and well. We are, after all, animals who are fighting to survive.

 

4) Hope is essential to survival.

 

The last thing I learnt from the pandemic is that having hope for the future truly matters. I don’t want to listen to people who say I have to be realistic, and that is the only way I will do well in life. When you stop having a positive outlook, it affects your mental health. Being stuck in the doomsday mentality only made my life even more miserable. When you focus on the negative parts of the situation, it usually doesn’t cause a fighting response from your brain. It only triggers the “flight” mode. You stop trying, because it seems like no matter what you do, you cannot overcome the huge problems in your life. You need to start seeing the bright future that is ahead of you, so that you will be motivated to actually make it come true.  

 

What lessons have you learned in the past year and how have you maintained your optimism? Comment here or join us at a Low Entropy meeting!

 

Puppy Love: A Study of the Unconditional

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Like true best friends, dogs are not just great companions – they also help us learn lessons that make us better versions of ourselves. Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Niklas Chiang introduces us to his own trusty canine pal, and recalls how she guided him to one of those revelations.

 

What is unconditional love? If you asked me anytime before today, I wouldn’t be able to answer you. Growing up in an immigrant household, I felt like love was conditional. I had to work to earn my parent’s love. If I misbehaved or didn’t get the mark I was supposed to get, then I was scolded. If the opposite happened, then I got praised, and sometimes, a gift. That was my view of love, and it lingers to this day. I believe, and still do to an extent, that there are conditions behind being loved by someone. I struggle to truly feel unconditional love, but despite these challenges, I’ve begun to understand what it means to give and receive unconditional love. When did this start to change? When my family got a second dog. I never knew this, but dogs, my dog and dogs I see on the streets, are incredible teachers. Let me explain.

 

I was walking to the SkyTrain station in downtown Vancouver late at night because I just got off work. As I waited for the light to turn green to cross the street, I looked to the other side of the road. I saw a man, who appeared to be living in poverty, walking with his dog. I watched their interaction. Whenever the dog needed to sniff, the man would patiently wait until the dog was finished. When it was time to go, the dog followed him. Watching this was amazing because it reminded me that both the man and his dog loved each other, no matter the circumstances. Although we have many prejudices, they do not seem to exist for dogs. The dog accepted his owner and loved him for who he was without judging his wealth, or lack of it. This is no different from loving our partners, families or friends. No matter the circumstances we find ourselves facing, we love each other unconditionally. We embrace the negative qualities and celebrate the positive ones. I’m not saying this comes naturally, but having seen how happy the dog was with his owner makes me believe it’s worth the effort. 

 

When I finally got home, it was late at night. I quietly opened the door to try and not make a sound. I began untying my shoe laces when I heard some scratches on our sliding door. I looked up to see my dog. She had woken up from her sleep to say hello to me. As tired as I was, I went to see her. She became ecstatic. She couldn’t stop walking circles around me. As I was petting her, it dawned on me that this wasn’t the first time she’d done this. Whenever I’d return home, she would always get up from her sleep to greet me. In turn, I would always pause and pet her. For her, as long as she can see that I am home, she will be by my side. Even when I do work, she lies near me, observes me for a bit, and then sleeps. If I move, she moves with me. While some of us like to hear “I love you,” a dog doesn’t have that ability. They express love differently. They could give you their favourite toy, or ask you to play with them, but my dog, she shows her love by following me constantly. That is important because it highlights how we can express unconditional love differently. We will not all have the same ways to express ourselves. Sometimes we see it, and sometimes we don’t. 

 

So I ask myself: what is unconditional love? The most obvious and direct answer is love that has no conditions, but it goes beyond this. Dogs have taught me that we should love someone with no prejudice. They highlight how love is both visible and invisible. I use their lessons to think back about my life. Did I really have conditioned love? Yes, absolutely. Was there unconditional love too? Yes, absolutely. Without my family, I wouldn’t have the food to eat, nor the education I got. Even though I’m not the greatest son, and have had my highs and lows, they accepted me for that and continued to provide. Without my parents, I wouldn’t be here today. To them, I say, “Thank you.” 

Who do you love, no strings attached – four-legged or otherwise? Let us know in the comments or at a Low Entropy event.

Live Aloha

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Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Nicole Riglietti takes us on a transformative voyage, escaping from despair and self-contempt to Hawaii and the curative love of the Aloha Spirit.

 

With the carefully constructed confines of society, it is amazingly easy to feel lost in the day to day, in the moments and minutes of a grim reality. Lost in the crippling anxiety, lost in pleasing everyone, lost in self-neglect. A few years back, I was lost to who I was. On an unglamourous healing journey of self-discovery, I found kindness, compassion and self-love. Drowning in my own skin, stuck in the wretched grasp of my tormented mind. I felt like a captive prisoner held hostage to past hardships. It terrorized me as fierce flames engulf a house burning from the inside out. There was nowhere left to run. I felt my heart, mind and soul fill with self-loathing, unworthiness and the inescapable illusion of being unlovable. I felt it deep within my core, a belief I carried and held on to for years. Staring at myself in the mirror, screaming, begging, pleading for me to love me – all of me. Mocking tears gushed down my cheeks, and I had enough. I couldn’t escape my painful existence, so I escaped my surroundings and all the people in it. 

 

“The Aloha Spirit” . . . her words echoed as they left her lips, bouncing off the corners of my racing mind. ‘Aloha’ was nothing but a greeting, simply ‘hello’, ‘goodbye’. How could it mean anything more? On the plane I ruminated over my self-destructive ways and inability to feel love for myself, only  interrupted briefly by the flight attendant’s safety plan. 

 

“When the oxygen masks eject, put one over yourself first before helping the child beside you.” Even in the greatest heights of tragedy, one must help themselves first, before helping another. One must love themselves first, before loving another. What a concept. At the time it was completely foreign to me. ‘Self-love’ – what does that even mean?

 

Landing in Hawaii, I felt a sacred energy buzzing throughout the majestic island of Maui. Aloha. Just one word held so much power indeed. I saw it everywhere. Black bumper stickers with bright red lettering read ‘Practice Aloha’, and these bumper stickers were posted all over, hidden in plain sight to the untrained eye. When the locals said “Aloha,” it carried great weight. I discovered Aloha meant respect, honour, kindness, compassion, love, hope, responsibility, acceptance, openness and joy. All these profound words, these attributes embody the Aloha Spirit. Given to others, and especially to one’s self first. It never occurred to me that I should be treating myself in this way. Holding enough respect for myself to take care of me. Honour my worth, my skills and talents. Have the responsibility to fill my life with that which brings me joy. Speaking to myself with gentle kindness and compassion. Accepting all of me just as I am. Showing up for myself, having the courage to fight for a love I can be proud of and feeling completely whole.

 

Like trust, love has many layers that take years to build. I’m still building these layers. After much grueling inner work, I have a foundation which grows stronger daily. I found myself accepting my sorrow and celebrating my joy, for they are two sides of the same coin, forever intertwined. As I released the resistance, I also let go of all the fear, shame and doubt. I had courage to follow my heart.

 

I went on a hunt for this bumper sticker so that I might be reminded to practice Aloha. A woman stared at me oddly at my request, as I was not a local, just some woman clearly struggling with her own self-worth, held together by her faulty insecurities. Before I could grasp the bumper sticker in my hand, she told me I had to promise to practice Aloha. This calmed some of my anxieties, yet doubt is a persistent thing, always lurking in the shadows, pouncing on the vulnerable. Especially when one had been battling the darkness within, it was difficult to trust a newfound freedom.

 

Waiting for a bus to take me to the airport. Doubt and chaos controlling my mind, questioning the hallmark advertisement of ‘Aloha’, a kind “Hello” brought me back to my surroundings. On my left there was a cute old man who wanted to talk. To my amazement he brought up the ‘Aloha Spirit’, filling me with absolute hope. It raised my vibrations. How could he know that I’ve been focused on this phrase? I felt connected to him, connected to the ebbs and flows of the universe. As a native to Maui, he had a deep understanding of what the Aloha Spirit meant. His late wife, born and raised in New Jersey, had had it. He didn’t think it possible for a person not native to Hawaii to be filled with the Aloha Spirit.  In that moment, for different reasons, we both marveled at the possibility. 

 

After being strangled for years by suffering, when I gave into the idea of self-compassion, I began to feel lighter. Self-compassion opened the doors to the ‘Aloha Spirit’ and living in Aloha led me to the unconditional love I feel for myself, where I truly feel wholeheartedly complete. Self-love has shifted my perception on life, and I am genuinely able to spread the joy within me to those around me. Though the healing journey is a long, winding road, feeling like utter destruction at times, don’t give up. Keep going. Practice self-love. Live Aloha. 

 

Everybody has a spirituality specific to them – tell us about yours in the comments or at a Low Entropy meet-up . . . who knows? You could be one of those special moments on someone’s journey to self-love.

Love Yourself Like You Love Yourself

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During this time of year, the world reverberates with proclamations of love for families, friends and partners, but Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Satkar BK reminds us that we also need to love ourselves with that same energy. 

 

Every February, I can’t help but see all the love in the air. Whether it be watching rom-coms or marriage proposal videos on YouTube, I find myself drawn to the idea of love during the most romantic month of the year. It’s easy to imagine a lot of us being attracted to the idea of love. We, humans, are social creatures by nature, and love is another way for us to be connected. Although science may say love is purely a chemical reaction to help us reproduce as a species, anyone who has ever been in love will tell you that it is so much more. Love can be the greatest feeling in the world, or one of the most terrifying, sometimes at the same time. The feeling of love has fueled incredible things throughout history, from the story of The Iliad to the invention of medical gloves. When we have someone we care for so deeply, we can seemingly accomplish anything. 

 

This leads me to the topic for today’s blog. What would happen if we loved ourselves like we love the ones around us? What if we surprised ourselves with flowers? What if we stayed up late to watch our favorite shows? What if we helped ourselves through our toughest times without any hesitation? It’s remarkable to think of the many things we could do at a drop of a hat for our parents, friends and loved ones, in contrast to how difficult it may be to give ourselves even one compliment. I could tell my partner how her smile could outshine a supernova, but I cringe when I stare too long into a mirror. I could shower my cat with all the affection she can handle, but I struggle with patting myself on the back. What I’ve discovered is the love that I feel for others is so much stronger than the love I allow for myself. 

 

The reason I and many others struggle with treating ourselves the same way we treat others is because we see ourselves for our mistakes and imperfections, and see others for the best versions of themselves. We accept that no one is perfect, but expect perfection from ourselves. This Valentine’s Day, why don’t we take the challenge to love ourselves like we love others. To see ourselves as amazing in the way that others do, and to look past the little problems that exist only to us. This is a difficult concept that I haven’t come close to mastering, but it’s one that is incredibly important. We have an infinite amount of love to give throughout our lives and it would be a shame if we could not give some of that love to ourselves. Even if it’s just a little bit, I ask every single person who reads this to take just a moment, look at all the wonderful things you’ve done in your life, look towards the wonderful things you will continue to do and say, “I love you.” 

 

Loving yourself can be challenging. We all need help in one way or another. Low Entropy is dedicated to helping you . . . yes, you! . . . appreciate how wonderful you truly are: keep an eye on some of the programs we offer and start by telling us what you love about yourself this Valentine’s Day.