Miniscule in the Moment

Eri Ikezawa (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

As they so eloquently tell us, “Life isn’t fair.”

 

Although this is a cynical take, there’s no denying that life brings its fair share of sorrows, tragedies, upset and challenges — no matter what walk of life we come from. The issues may vary from something as trivial as losing your favourite hoodie to something as heartbreaking as losing your beloved pet. Sometimes, you can’t even precisely discern what’s dragging you down. Nevertheless, whatever strife you may face, everyone is partial to their own methods of rediscovering internal equilibrium.

 

Personally, I rely on a tried-and-true system that helps me persevere through any obstacles I encounter — regardless of the severity of the matter.

 

First, it begins with noticing what I perceive as unfavourable feelings — anger, annoyance, frustration, dismay, anguish (this is not to say that these are “bad” feelings that one must eradicate, but they could lead to unfortunate consequences if they aren’t handled with adequate care and attention).

 

I’m always tempted to ignore or bottle up those emotions and delay acknowledging them for another day, allowing them to simmer dangerously close to boiling point — initially, it seems like the easiest, safest solution. But while it is not always the most pleasant experience singling out these feelings (seeing as how they can cause us to acknowledge negative sentiments directed towards someone whom we love or force us to face our own failures and mistakes), it is undoubtedly necessary.

 

And so, I’ve realized that labelling the emotions which catalyze me to feel out of sorts is the best way to begin searching for a productive solution.

 

Second, once I’ve comfortably ascertained what is causing me turmoil and why, I usually enter a period of time where I need to process the situation and the feelings it incites.

 

This stage is usually what takes me the longest. Formerly, it would cause me great distress, with me berating myself for not “getting over it” right away. Now I’ve come to the realization that, as long as I don’t stagnate in a period of wallowing, it is okay to take as much time as the situation warrants (and as much time as I need).

 

Converging with the aforementioned point, I also find it vital to remind myself that I mustn’t do myself the disservice of acting as though I’m fine when I’m not, and that I shouldn’t feel guilty for not always advancing at the same speed as someone else — that is to say, we don’t all emote or process the same way as those around us.

 

Once I have taken my time to process everything, I eventually come to a place where I am prepared to take concrete steps towards resolution.

 

Obviously, activities to alleviate stress and other emotional turmoil differ from individual to individual, but generally speaking, I find what brings me solace are often applicable across the board, to some degree. I find meditation, journaling, spending time outside and listening to music helps me relax and ease tension, but it is therapy and talking to my treasured confidantes that really pave the path for future resolution. Accumulating a wealth of well-intentioned advice from people who truly love me, combined with the professional advice of a therapist, provides me with a stable platform for me to step onto — and from there, I follow my own instincts to concoct a solution for whatever matter is at hand.

 

I do recognize that everyone’s life circumstances vary — sometimes, people aren’t surrounded by uplifting individuals, or don’t have access to pricy resources. In those cases, people could observe the immediate stimuli causing them detriment — whether it be toxic friends, relationships, workplaces or family — and take steps to put distance between themselves and the situation or remove themselves from it.

 

But everything is easier said than done. It takes great personal strength and commitment, while trudging through the molasses of long, tedious days when you feel bogged down, to see the light.  So, what I do is figuratively spotlight and celebrate every minor personal accomplishment during the harrowing dark of trying times.

 

I congratulate myself for knowing when it is time to relax instead of grinding so hard that I forget to eat or sleep well. I pat myself on the back for taking the long route home when walking my dog to spend a couple extra minutes in the outdoors. I acknowledge that five minutes of successful meditation is better than nothing.

 

It may seem miniscule in the moment, but sometimes, a small reminder that not everything we do is a hopeless shot in the dark is enough to get us to the end of the tunnel.

 

 

My name is Eri Ikezawa and I have an extended minor in psychology and a major in linguistics. I’m still on the path to quelling questions about myself and the direction I want to head in, but in the meantime, I have always wanted to find a way to help others and contribute to a community dedicated to personal development and self-love.

Pushing Past Procrastination

Pamela Musoke (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

You lack self-confidence.

 

That’s a loaded observation. How does it make you feel when you say it? Or when someone else says it?

 

For some, admitting it is a way of hiding, using it as an excuse to maintain the status quo. It is where we would rather be, and maybe that’s enough for now. We all have our seasons.

 

Other times, it’s viewed, at first, as this massive chasm between where we are and where we desire to be, which is both scary and daunting. But eventually we find ourselves gravitating towards wanting, and soon, a call to action! Our wants trump our fears! Well, truthfully, it often ends up being more of an ebb and flow between the two states. I say this because we also hesitate as we become acutely aware of every single flaw we think may bring about failure and impact how we progress.

 

The trick is distancing yourself enough to recognize these are self-limiting views, brought on by past experiences that have, sometimes, injured the way we value ourselves. This may be one of the most aggravating, yet self-loving acts of compassion we can perform. It is a place to start, creating a road map we can follow, sometimes with the help of a mental health professional. We follow the clues to get to the seed of thought that has created enough self-doubt to paralyze us into inaction or move us to seek distractions.

 

Procrastination is one such distraction we are all familiar with. I will use myself as an example, because I tend to procrastinate when I face something hard or unfamiliar.

 

I used to think my procrastination equaled laziness. I would beat myself up for leaving tasks or projects to the last moment, usually to my detriment. But I got wiser. I began to notice my feelings when I felt unsure, and my instinct to delay. The fear of failure was so strong, I needed the pressure of time to overcome and act.

 

Exploring this through extensive journaling and help from people I trusted helped me realize that my need for perfectionism wouldn’t allow me to start. It wasn’t seen as an opportunity to learn and grow, but rather a threat — a mark of shame that could otherwise blemish my perfect(ish) record with failure. At this stage, I would be living in my own personal hell, and by the words of Dante Alighieri, abandon all hope and move on to something else that validated me.

 

And when I failed, I would rationalize my failures, which turned into rationalizing what I just rationalized, creating a vicious cycle of endless rationalizing. And as you can imagine, I would whip myself into a crazed frenzy — overwhelmed, feeling like a failure, believing I lacked the talent to excel. Such memories were hard to overcome and quickly ingrained, shaking confidence and impacting how I faced future challenges. 

 

But I turned it around, taking back some control. Procrastination has become my warning sign to pause and reflect on why I feel uneasy or uncomfortable about a course of action. And this is where step one comes into play . . .

 

I sit with my feelings for a while, trying to understand and eventually label them or describe them, being brutally honest and open about myself and my reactions. Admitting our truth can be eye-opening. 

 

For me, step two is not about slaying any dragon, but inviting it to tea. I start a friendly conversation with “Sir Lack of Self-Confidence” until I find myself thinking about recurring themes. I usually prefer to freewrite, a technique I learned from reading The Artist’s Way that helps you get out of your own way to get to the heart of the matter. It is a process I practice daily, to start the day with a positive mindset. The act itself is very freeing and cathartic, and I find solutions to challenges that initially had me in knots! 

 

Step three is all about processing. I find the underlying issue is usually my irrational fear of failing. I remind myself that I can’t fail something that hasn’t started. This helps me slow my thinking enough to recognize that these feelings are indicators of something that is missing, be it skill or knowledge. I find that once I start seeing through the trees, I get excited because I have found the inklings of a way in.

 

Step four and I am feeling better-prepared to take on the challenge. I hack complex projects into tiny, manageable actions. They start very simply, with actions that take no more than a few minutes to complete. It feels significantly less daunting and empowering. Encouraged to build momentum, I patiently work through tough entanglements, feeling more confident that I can achieve the intended goal.

 

Mind you, this can sometimes be a very slow process. I am learning to be kind to myself, choosing, instead, to celebrate that I am taking action instead of hiding.

 

I end this entry by emphasizing how becoming aware of self-limiting thoughts is a gift given to you, allowing you to dive deeper and learn about your inner world, and how you can help yourself blossom like a lotus flower. 

 

If you were to sit down with “Sir Lack of Self-Confidence,” or any other self-limiting thought, and have a friendly conversation over a nice cup of your favorite beverage, what would that conversation shed light on that you could act on today?

 

 

Pamela has a public health background. She enjoys reading, creative writing, and watching psychological thrillers and mysteries with the occasional comedy.

Dealing with Family Conflicts

Grace Cheng (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Everyone experiences conflict with their families from time to time. It is an inevitable part of coexisting within a family unit with varying ages, views, and perspectives on life. However, it is important to not dismiss conflict at all costs. It is impossible to completely avoid all conflict. Therefore, it is important to learn how one can avoid escalation of aggression and how to deal with it with intelligence and assertiveness.

 

Conflicts are a natural and common part of family life. There are times however, when serious instances can occur and pose some difficulties for all members. You are likely to struggle with the effects of these disputes and find it difficult to live a fulfilled and happy life. In this article, we will discuss the different types of family conflicts and the most effective methods for managing them to ensure a happy life within one’s home.

 

Types of Family Conflicts:

  1. Spousal Conflicts

Amongst partners, disagreements and crises are unavoidable; however, if the couple can manage them effectively, these conflicts can serve to strengthen their bond. Among the most common causes of daily conflicts between married couples are:

  • Communication difficulties such as incorrect language, reproaches, emotional language and insults.
  • Loss of autonomy and freedom on the part of one of the members of the couple.
  • Attempts to change the other person’s attitudes and behaviors.
  • Poor problem-solving skills.

 

  1. Parents and Children Conflicts

These types of conflicts can be divided into three categories based on the development stage of each party involved:

  • In the earlier stages of life, conflicts often arise due to the development of the child’s autonomy. These situations can occur when either a parent does not understand how to grant autonomy, or they do not believe that the child is following the direction they believe is most appropriate.
  • During the teenage years, many conflicts can occur. These symptoms typically appear in adolescents between the ages of 12 and 18 years, and they are usually caused by emotional fluctuations that are common in their age group.
  • Conflicts with young adult children: When children reach adulthood their differing perspectives and understandings of how to live and organize their lives will create some friction between a parent and child.
  1. Sibling Conflicts

Conflicts of this type are among the most frequent and are also among the most persistent, regardless of the stage in life in which they occur. Arguments are usually brief and parents are not necessarily required to intervene.

  1. The Elderly Conflicts

As an adult grows older, he or she experiences several changes. There are both biological aspects, such as seeing one’s physical deterioration, as well as social aspects, such as the loss of friends or loved ones.  The elderly can experience these changes in a potentially dramatic manner which causes conflict with their family members.

 

Methods in Handling Family Conflicts:

  1. Understand the Cause of the Problem

To resolve a difficult family conflict, you need to identify the cause of the problem. The tension decreases when more effort is spent on eliminating the conflicts and more effort is put into preserving the family relationship.

 

  1. Focus on what is Important

It is impossible to win a battle with a hurricane, so it is crucial to protect what is important. If conflicts are frequent and intense, you should stop fighting the storm and focus on protecting what matters most to you and your family.  Regardless of the importance of setting and enforcing rules, you should protect the relationship you have even during difficult times.

  1. Do not Focus on the Negative

While a conflict is ongoing, you should focus more on what is good in the family than on what is wrong. It may be as simple as making a list of the positive aspects of your life to help you stay focused on your long-term objectives.

  1. Try to Find a Common Ground

An ongoing conflict can also be resolved on both sides by declaring a truce. This is the time you each agree to put aside your disagreements and engage in an enjoyable activity together that will rejuvenate your family. 

  1. Taking a Pause

Consider taking a break if you find that you’re overwhelmed by your emotions and unable to think rationally. Not all conflicts require immediate resolution. Consequently, the best course of action, in this case, would be to pause. Take some time to cool off and consider how to improve your relationship and resolve the issue. Eventually, you will be able to return to the problem and come to an understanding with your family member while being objective and open to criticism.

  1. Accepting the Family Member as a Difficult Person

This is a highly effective strategy. Accepting a difficult family member as they are can allow us to let go of the tension and stress caused by resistance.

  1. Learning how to Forgive and Forget

Sometimes, the best approach is to simply let everything go. You hold too much inside and it is time to release everything that clogs your mind and soul. Having the ability to forgive people and to forget their mistakes and wrongdoings is one of the most difficult and pleasant experiences in life. Allow yourself to let go of negative emotions to create space for more positive feelings. Create a fresh state and move forward with your life. 

 

Now that you have learned how to manage family conflicts, are you ready to take the first step to resolve them in your life?

 

 

Grace has an accounting and finance background. She enjoys reading, writing, listening to music, watching movies and playing sports.

Even When it Hurts: A Perspective on Family Conflict and Acceptance

Se Joon Park (he/him/his), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Words are powerful. They have the power to start quarrels and end prolonged conflicts. Relationships can be broken by poorly spoken phrases or mended over wisely chosen words. This is especially evident within our families. Many people experience divides between family members over words and their unintended meanings, with effects sometimes lasting for years. Why, then, do we choose words that cause pain to those we love over words that can bring healing and encouragement? Why is communicating with family so difficult and what can we do about it?

 

Not so long ago, I, too, was a single member in the audience of a symphony of criticism. My attempt to share good news with my parents over Zoom — my acceptance to a reputable undergraduate writing program — quickly compelled my mother to begin an uninterrupted, two-minute slam poetry session on what was wrong with my life.

 

“What is the matter with you? You’re not 21 anymore! When are you going to grow up and get married? Why can’t you take a full-time job like everyone else? Your cousins in America are getting married and starting businesses. Why can’t you be more like them? Do you want to see your father die before you get married? I can’t sleep at night because I am so ashamed and embarrassed. I cannot share any good news with others because I have nothing to boast about my own son!”

 

Though we certainly had our fair share of quarrels in the past, this was the first time she had burst into tears and anger. And no one else could have crushed me into shame as my mother had in that moment. Heart shattered and mind livid, I walked to the local park with all the burdens of the world on my shoulders. With each step came a wave of pain and anger crashing deep into my soul, as my mind, against my will, replayed the scene in copious amounts of detail: my mother’s eyes filled with tears, her quivering voice that cracked at every other sentence, accusatory words that placed all the blame for her pain upon me. 

 

When my mind was finally at ease after hours of walking in silence, I was left with an uncomfortable question: Why was my mother so inconsolably upset? I wasn’t committing any crimes, nor was I bringing harm upon myself or others. I was only pursuing what I thought would make me happy. I thought they would be proud of me. As I searched through years of memory and everything that had contributed to our quarrel, I came upon three uncomfortable truths: the first two were that our definitions of happiness were irreparably different, and we would never truly see eye-to-eye. The third truth, the one that tied the two aforementioned truths into a single bundle, was the most significant of the three: our difference of opinions should never take away from our love for one another.

 

We grow upset when our loved ones express ideas that contradict or challenge our own values. I believe that this very expression of our hurt is, ultimately, an indication of how deeply we care for our loved ones and their well-being. However, true acceptance never expects our loved ones to compromise their own values for our sake. We must practice radical acceptance. Radical acceptance never forces. It accepts without agenda, embraces without terms and loves without condition. It is the only bridge that can close the gap between us, from the years of hurt, neglect and pain. Though we may not understand, we choose to love. Though we may go unheard, we choose to accept — even when it hurts. We must also understand that we do not do this alone. It is a mutual decision where we, along with our loved ones, choose to accept one another. We must be in this together.

 

It was then that I realized that my mother’s expression of hurt was only an indication of how much she wanted to see her only son get married, settle down, work full-time and have the life of her dreams, because to her, and for many other Korean parents, that was the definition of happiness and success. 

 

Both of us had a choice. We could either reject each other or we could choose to accept without the intention of changing each other.

 

Eventually, I called my parents again. I didn’t scream. I didn’t accuse. I let them know that I was happy on the path I was taking. I expressed my deep desire to do what made me happy. I also told them how much it hurt the last time we talked. After a momentary pause, my mother quietly replied with a defeated “okay.”

 

I’m not sure if my parents truly understand what I am pursuing. I’m not even sure if they were actually listening. But after a week, as we always do, we called each other again. We asked how each of us were doing and what each of us had been up to. We shared a few chuckles here and there. And, like many other families, we acted like nothing happened. Though none of us mentioned anything about the fight, I like to think that we are choosing to accept each other without the intention to change each other.

 

 

Se Joon started volunteering at Low Entropy as a blog writer in February 2022. He immigrated to the U.S. from Korea in 2001, where he completed all of his education from secondary school to his postgraduate degree. He left the U.S. in 2018 and has lived in Vancouver since then.

Eyes on the Road: Exploring Online Anonymity

Jane Doe, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Please note that this piece discusses online abuse and contains a brief reference to suicidal ideation.

 

As a latecomer to social media in 2014, I decided to join it like many other artists — in order to promote my work. I was of the belief that social media would provide me with community and a helpful network from which to draw inspiration. Everyone seemed to have their own handles, domains and followers. I was enthusiastic to join the vast online world, and share my own vision of things: paintings, photographs and words of wisdom, after living in seclusion. But a few months into my online adventure, my enthusiasm began to wane. I was unfamiliar with social media jargon and protocols of engagement, including such things as frequency of posting content and commenting. I didn’t understand the concept of what was considered “private” or “public,” as many were posting publicly only. As such, I soon began to attract unwanted attention. I was unfamiliar with the term “trolling” and what it meant, but I rapidly began to experience what many people at some point have experienced online: harassment by an anonymous troll.

 

Up until then, my only reference for anonymity had been masked protesters fighting for a cause, comic book characters like V in V for Vendetta, or balaclava-ed bank robbers. Even if I had never been the victim of road rage, I could relate to the circumstantial anonymity of a road rage incident, the result of social disconnection from others within the bubble of a car.

 

But this was different. Unlike a road rage incident, I could not identify my interlocutors (or URLs) — whether it was one or 10 different trolls. Unlike a bank robber, I could not identify their motives. Trying to decipher who and how many “they” were, and their goals, began to take up my precious time. I forgot why I was on social media. Time spent creating my site and producing artwork was soon replaced with arguing and playing cat-and-mouse games with pseudonyms and out-of-focus profile pics. The interactions gradually became more sinister, until the troll began to send me suicidal ideations and other unmentionable imagery.

 

After one year, I began to suspect that the troll was someone I knew. I saw correlations between our interactions online and seeing an acquaintance on the street outside my home, in my local supermarket and passing me in traffic. There was information that the troll knew about me that I had not revealed. The worst part about this though, was that l had not one shred of tangible proof that the troll was this acquaintance, and paranoia set in.

 

A turning point came when I realized that what I assumed was my growing confusion and paranoia was, in fact, rooted in reality — there were too many real-life “coincidences” for it to be paranoia. It came to matter less to me what this troll’s motives or identity was than how they were making me feel. I felt like I was losing my grip on reality and myself. What kept me doubting that I was a victim of an online troll and needing to quit social media was my basic need for attention, which had become an addiction.

 

This situation eventually took a bad but helpful turn when the police got involved, which forced me back into social isolation. I took a two-year absence from social media, during which time I began writing poetry. Discovering poetry allowed me to develop better critical judgment — not just in detecting manipulation, but in understanding myself. I began to enter writing competitions and took advantage of free online courses, which led me to enroll in university. I had swapped my addiction to taking selfies and interacting with shady accounts, with the therapy of writing short stories and free-verse poetry. 

 

Such is the dilemma for many users of social media: questioning whether its benefits outweigh its dangers. Though my experience with anonymity on social media was negative, the opposite can be true. In sharing this experience, I have chosen anonymity to protect myself. Anonymity in the public domain protects freedom of speech and the vulnerable. It can facilitate truth-telling that, under normal exposed conditions, may not be possible. Without anonymity, I could never have relayed this experience for fear of revealing too much, or of reinvigorating a troll’s interest. Jane Does throughout history have been able to come forward with their stories, oftentimes more painful than this. Even if my experiences with social media have been terrifying at times, I recognise that there is a place for public anonymity, especially in an imperfect world.

 

The ease with which false accounts can be created and mistruths spread over the internet at the click of a mouse makes social media highly problematic. Its risk-free rewards benefit both the good and ill-intentioned. As such, it’s every user’s responsibility to themselves to be educated about the pitfalls and benefits of being online.

 

I hope never to be the target of a road rage incident some day, but if I am, the precautions to take when dealing with an angry driver are uncannily similar to those applicable to social media users: remain in your car, stay calm, avoid eye contact, keep your window up and, most importantly, keep your eyes focused on your destination.

 

Leave your thoughts for us in the comments below better yet, start up a dialogue with the Low Entropy community in person at a Conscious Connections meeting or online at our community site. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and YouTube to stay up-to-date with Low Entropy news!

The Most Special Ones

Sejin Ahn (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

When I was young, there was a lot of conflict between myself and my older sister. Despite a six-year age gap between us, we were constantly against each other because it seemed like we were on two different planets. Of course, that does not mean we have never gotten along well. When our family gathers, my parents often talk about how happy they were hearing myself and my sister giggling from the bedroom. But, as we grew up, we ended up fighting very often.

 

One of the most common factors that put us on a battleground was injustice. My sister is allergic to various types of foods. So when our family ate out, my sister was the one who had the power to decide what to eat. Although my favourite food was seafood, I was always forced to go to a restaurant that did not have seafood options, just in case my sister had an allergic reaction that might turn into a severe problem.

 

In Korea, older children are often pressured to concede a point to younger ones in an argument. My sister said she sometimes felt pressured to give up on an argument she had with me because our parents asked her to do so. One of the typical examples of this was when we would go to the hospital to have regular examinations. Both of us were scared of going to the doctor, just like other children who think of a hospital as one of the scariest places on Earth. Neither of us wanted to have the examination, so my sister and I always argued over who had to go first. These arguments mostly ended with my sister seeing a doctor first, because our parents asked her to do it. In such a situation, my sister felt like our parents cared more about me than my sister. Even though they asked her for understanding on that point, she thought it was unfair. 

 

Many people think a conflict or rivalry between siblings will naturally disappear as they get older. It might be true for some people, but it never worked for my sister and me. It was a fact of life to us. Even worse, our conflicts became more complicated, involving psychological factors.

 

As we got older, we were exposed to tons of different situations that the other sibling never experienced, which developed our own personalities quite differently. One day, all our family members gathered around a table in the living room to have a conversation. At that moment, a documentary about children spending a lot of time on digital devices was being played on television. Right after the narrator pointed out how bad it was for their health, my sister suddenly brought up how I was addicted to watching television when I was young, and how it negatively affected my eyesight. Since my parents were very sensitive to our health, I felt like she pushed my buttons by bringing up an unnecessary topic at a table. However, it turned out that she never meant to pick a fight. 

 

Recollecting my childhood with my sister, I realize that our rivalry played a developmental role. It helped us figure out each of our unique characteristics and explore what was special about us. In other words, it taught us how to live with each other in harmony, no matter how different we were.

 

I admit that I was a child who always wanted to be the most special one to my parents and be treated preferentially. However, our parents love both myself and my sister the same. There were only a few unique factors and situations that made them treat us differently, and that helped us understand how to accept others.

 

It is true that, as a human being, it seems to be impossible to avoid comparison. Sibling conflict and rivalry provide us with an opportunity to think about how comparisons affect us. This is because we grow up together, and we usually spend a good deal of our time together. In this sense, I think it is very important to turn sibling rivalry into a chance to learn how to resolve conflict. This way, you will be better able to coexist with others.

 

 

My name is Sejin Ahn, and I’m from South Korea. I am currently studying communications and publishing at Simon Fraser University. I love looking at the world from diverse perspectives!

We’ll Be There

Cecilia Watt (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

My dad, like many, was full of sayings, quotes, jokes and idioms. One that he recycled every once in a while when the situation called for it was “You can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your relatives.” It always made me laugh, and I always thought it was true. On the more intellectual side, he liked to quote the opening line of Anna Karenina, by Russian author Leo Tolstoy: “All happy families are alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” As a child, both sayings seemed inapplicable to my life: yes, there were a few questionable uncles here and there, but for the most part, we all got along and we were a happy family at our core. The thing is, when you start to grow up, you grow into all the feelings you had as a child that you never quite knew how to process before. You grow tall enough to see the cracks that had been there all along, and you become a part of them. 

 

The first few years of my 20s were marked by tragedy and loss that found myself and my family swallowed whole by those same cracks that we had all done our best to ignore for years. I was left angry for many reasons, and I wondered why I couldn’t have had a big family that was strong enough to sustain the cracks. At the time, when it was all such a fresh break, I remembered my dad’s sayings about unhappy families and not being able to pick whom your blood ties you to, and I thought, “He was right; I just wish he wasn’t right about us.”

 

I have four, much older than me, half-siblings. I had relationships (no matter how complex or strained) with all four of them until our dad’s death; two years on, I only speak to one and her two children, who are much closer to me in age and two of my most favourite people in the world. My mum, with whom I am very close, has similar issues with her own siblings, and has since I was a kid. My mum and I are incredibly close. We always have been, to an extent, but the loss of our favourite person and walking through such a horrible time together has made us understand each other in a way we couldn’t before. Because of this, and because of the distance between us and our extended families, I’m very protective of her and she of me: we’re all we have. At least, that’s what I thought.

 

Three days before my dad’s funeral, people began to arrive in the small town that my parents and I had called home for 20 years. My mum’s two best friends, whom she had known since kindergarten and her early 20s, respectively, arrived first. They swept in, wrapping my mum in the love she so lacked from our family. They cooked for us, cleaned for us, laughed and cried with us, polished our shoes and helped us make all the little decisions you don’t have time for when you’re sad. They sat front row with us at the funeral, acting as our pillars of support and defence. My friends, whom I grew up with, came next. They were grieving my dad too, and they came to my childhood home as they had so many times before, with our favourite snacks and memories. They sat with me and we said how happy my dad would be to see us all together again, back from school and adult life. The night before the funeral, my best friends from university came. I went to university in my hometown, so they had gotten to know my parents and the rest of my family. We sat on the floor by the fireplace in my living room, and they reassured me that the speech I was due to give the next day would be beautiful and perfect. When I said, “You know, you don’t have to come if you don’t want to,” my friend Caiti shut me down quickly, saying, “Our schedule is cleared, tomorrow is all about you, we want to be there and we’ll be there.”

 

And they were; they all were. I stood at the pulpit to give my speech, and when I looked at my siblings, I felt the coldness, the distance that had been created. When I looked to my left, the pews had been filled with friends from every corner of my life, my mother’s life, my father’s life, people I expected to come and people I didn’t: coworkers, classmates, acquaintances. There were my friends, smiling up at me through tears, but smiling nonetheless, brightly, warmly, openly. At that moment I knew that, in this, my dad had been wrong. I had chosen my family, and they had chosen me. My mother watched me from the front pew, surrounded by her two best friends, her family who loved her through everything and would continue to do so. We were going to be alright; we had that family we had dreamed of.

 

Family division is painful, and I agree with Tolstoy that every family is divided in a different way. I don’t think that blood constitutes family; I think it’s a foundation for love to grow, but sometimes, it doesn’t work out. You cannot choose your relatives, but you can choose what is best for your health and well-being. You absolutely can choose your family: you can choose the people with whom you want to share your best and worst and middle with. What makes a true family is acceptance, understanding, joy, empathy, the ability to grieve and hold each other through everything — all qualities I saw the day of my father’s funeral, shining back at me from the faces of my friends, my family.

 

 

Cecilia Watt is a recent university graduate taking a few years off before grad school to focus on all the little joys in life, such as chai lattes, good books and listening to music while going for walks.

All of the Above

Alexandra Dadivas (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

As humans, one of our goals in life is to feel that we belong. We strive to find where we fit in this hurried, crowded and unreliable world. It is a common misconception that everybody has an idea of where they want to go — the truth is that sometimes you might have no idea, and sometimes you might have multiple and are unable to narrow it down. My story is the latter.

 

Youth are often seen as the spark that will carry society forward. However, many don’t realize how much pressure this puts on people who don’t even know who they are yet. From infancy, most are raised to explore the world in hopes that they will find something that will call to them and thus lead them to the career that they will spend the majority of their life in. But more often than not, this results in internal conflict.

 

Ever since I was a young child, my world has revolved around writing. From ages 7–12, was obsessed with creating short comics that spanned about a page. I had never been one for true sketching, so I always stuck to my simple stick figures, but the storylines and characters that flew through my head were always begging to be put on paper. Incredible really, how so many ideas could fit into such a tiny mind. By the time I was 12, I began to start writing in short-story format. Instead of drawings and cells and speech bubbles, I wrote descriptive scenes and dialogues. The characters became more rounded, and more complex thought was put behind my plots.

 

I stand here now, wondering if I could take it a step further — if I should take it a step further. Writing a novel would give me a sense of such fulfillment in life, and if I could simply write for the rest of my life and make a living off of it, I believe I would be happy.

 

So what’s stopping you, Alexandra? It’s a great question, and it is something I ponder nearly every single day. My answer always ends up being the same.

 

While I have been actively exercising the literature-loving side of me, a scientist part has been silently growing in the background, too. A natural sense of curiosity has gripped me since the day I came into this world — I’ve always wanted to know the invisible systems that made it work. Science is something that I could easily find a place in, and I could not think of a better way of finding where I fit in society than helping humans heal. Landing somewhere in health sciences would allow me to look back on my life and think, “I made it. I made a difference.”

 

“Follow your passion,” some say.

 

“No, don’t do that, follow the money,” others retort.

 

“Perhaps you’re better off simply doing what others think is best for you, because surely you should have picked a career by now.”

 

All of these comments and opinions can get extremely overwhelming, especially when it comes to something as big as your life’s purpose.

 

In truth, it is not a question of passion or money or external opinion. It is a question of which side of myself I want to put first.

 

It is a near-impossible question, and if you have come this far for the answer, dear reader, I’m afraid I cannot provide it. It can be terrible really, to feel like you are being tugged one way and then pulled equally in another. It can tear you apart. At times, it may feel as though the world is asking you to reduce yourself to merely one side of your dice, without the allowance of seeing what the others can offer. My only advice to you is to keep rolling. Yes, in the end, you may have to only focus on one of your sides for your career, but please allow light to shine on the other parts that have created you as a character. 

 

In conclusion, it is okay if you have a whole gallery of ideas of things you want to do with your life, or if you have absolutely nothing that comes to mind, or if you rest somewhere in between. You might worry, “Where will I go from here?”

 

Well . . . you could go anywhere.

 

Isn’t it exciting?

 

 

Hi! My name is Alexandra Dadivas and I’m going into Grade 11 with the goal of being in healthcare sciences. Avid reader of young adult fiction!

Simulated Conflict: Video Games and Catharsis Via the Virtual

Neema Ejercito (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

I don’t know how many other parents would say that they are pretty up-to-date with what their kids are playing. As for me, I don’t think it’s a parenting style, more like a me thing. I guess I can thank my youngest brother’s influence on me (yup, we did the role reversal thing way back when) for getting me into video games.

 

In high school, I remember hours and hours of playing Street Fighter with my brother because no one else in the family would play with him. He’d beat me every time, but I kept playing. Of course, I’d get fed up too, and that’s when he’d say, “Please? Another round?” with begging eyes. I’d acquiesce, only for him to let me win and, once he’d see I was feeling a bit better, beat me again and again before I wanted to call it quits again. And the cycle continued.

 

I tried different types of games, but the hack-and-slash types were the ones I loved the most. I loved Prince of Persia at a certain point and Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?, but one of my all-time favourites is still Typing of the Dead (I can hear the voiceover say the title right now, complete with the perfect pauses). Mindless and satisfying. And yes, it definitely fills the nerd void in me. Lately though, my second son introduced me to two games that have been particularly helpful during the pandemic, and of different genres at that.

 

When my son told me about Persona 5, I was intrigued. When I finished the game, he actually reminded me that I had seen him play it a couple of times and always commented about the art. I still find the visuals amazing, and I grew to love the soundtrack as well. I fell in love with the story too, especially when one of the settings was in an art museum. Oh, and what really, really grabbed my interest was how Japan was portrayed. Again, the art was amazing, especially during the time of the pandemic, and I was able to reminisce about my trips to Japan and somehow felt like I was experiencing them all over again.

 

To be honest, winning in the game made me feel like a winner in the real world. At a time when everything seemed so uncertain, when the nature of COVID kept changing, when death and sickness was just way too close to home, I loved defeating the bosses, or even when I failed, keeping on trying and trying. I know that it would be easier to win on-screen than to know when I’d get to work out at the gym safely again. The victory over the simulated conflict in the game purged me of the emotional roller coaster I had been feeling, if only for a moment. I also have to admit that I kept playing the game to keep feeling that release.

 

A friend working in the gaming industry observed that he actually became busier since the pandemic hit because everyone was always online. While part of me celebrated with him (since, hurrah, he was earning more as well!), I realized how games even became more of an escape, especially during the pandemic. It saddened me as well as cheered me up. I was sad to see how much relief we needed but happy that video games were another outlet, when we seemed to be running out of those due to the nature and longevity of COVID.

 

More recently, my son introduced me to the horror genre through Little Nightmares. Japanese role-playing games like Persona 5 are still within my gaming comfort zone, I would say, but scary ones would not really be my first choice. I’ve tried and liked Silent Hill and Fatal Frame, but I did not finish them. I still cannot get past the first Resident Evil. But finishing Little Nightmares provided that perfect formula of art, story and puzzle for cathartic satisfaction that propelled me from the mire that has become everyday news of dread.

 

I have personally met a few people who are completely against video games and their influences, and I do understand their perspective. It’s unfortunate when parents don’t understand how much games help our kids though, especially when they don’t play video games and see how much our technology is actually gamified. I have, thankfully, benefited from the positive effects of video games and have found in them the ability to relate to my kids in another way.

 

 

Neema Ejercito is a professional writer, director and creative writing mentor. Her 3D edutainment series for beginning readers, AlphaBesties, is showing in YouTube Japan and Prairie Kids. When she’s not writing or mentoring, she manages her household with her very supportive husband and three children.

 

Supposed to Be

Anna Bernsteiner (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Please note that this article contains strong language.

 

Who are you and who are you supposed to be? That’s an interesting conflict right there. Ever thought about the person you could be if you stepped out of your comfort zone now? No more waiting, no more procrastination. No judgment holding you back. What would you do? 

 

On my bus rides to school (I’m a college kid now, my mum is thrilled) I usually get the best ideas. I say usually because most often they are the most random things. 

Like a week ago, I decided I wanted to run a half-marathon. 

Well, every day I wake up early (I regret listening to my stubborn head) and run for as long as I can . . . which sometimes is only 15 min, but I’m doing it. 

A month ago, I decided to stop feeling bad about where I am (Europe) and decided to take advantage of that European passport and travel to Portugal and Rome and Greece. I booked it and I’m going.

A couple of days ago I thought, man, I want to try and do something creative, and bought tools to make clay earrings. 

And just this fall I decided to start a podcast, and that’s what I did. I have four followers, which I’m so proud of, and they are not at all my cousins.

I started doing all these things because if I don’t start doing the things that I want to do, how can I ever be the person I’m supposed to be? 

So every time I have an idea, I write it down (it doesn’t matter how nuts it sounds) and do it. It might sound easy to you, but how often do you think of starting something and never do it? 

 

Life sucks sometimes and we all go through the bad shit and the good days, but life is too short to be someone you don’t want to be.

If you have just been thinking about something that you always wanted to try, here is your chance to get up and do it. Doesn’t matter if you suck at it. 

Be who you are supposed to be and don’t look back!

 

 

Hi, I’m Anna, I’m a student and I write blogs for Low Entropy. In my free time I like to explore new countries and cultures, try new foods, languages and meet new people, and I try to write interesting articles 🙂

That Will Teach You

MacKenzie Chalmers (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Everyone deals with conflict at some point in their life. Conflict with friends, family, co-workers, or classmates — it can occur in any situation and with any individual. We have disagreements or arguments with others and have to figure out how to solve them. I have been in several situations of conflict, but often found a way to resolve it. However, there was a case where I found myself in a situation where I got even with the other person — it was not planned, but the opportunity presented itself and I took it. 

 

It was my first year of college. Group assignments had not been too common within the first year, but unfortunately I was not able to escape them entirely. We were placed within a group that was pre-chosen by the professor — another unfortunate factor of group assignments, as we are not familiar with the work habits of people we do not know. Each group was given another program in the school, and we had to advertise that program. We were required to communicate with the head professor for each program and organize a time to conduct a meeting with them, and to come to different classes to get the photos to go onto the advertising poster. Once that was done, we were required to do a presentation to the class. 

 

The ideal group dynamic should have been a group chat with all of us in it, so that we could engage with one another. We should have decided as a group the type of photos we wanted to include in the assignment and split up the images so that we did not take similar photos. We should have decided together how our presentation slide show would go and the pieces of information each group member would provide to the class.  

 

In my situation, that did not happen. I took on the role of leader in the group. I was the one to maintain contact with the assigned professor, as well as the professors for the classes we needed to take photos in. I had to contact each group member individually and relay information to each of them, as they did not want to meet up or have a group chat. I had members cancel on me when scheduled to take photos for the assignment, leaving me to go alone to the classes. I had a group member take photos that were not completely related to the assigned program. Another member stopped responding to messages, and it took myself and a friend of his who was in another group to get him to send me his photos. The third group member prioritized gaming rather than taking a few minutes to send me his photos, despite the fact it was the night before the presentation. 

 

The morning of the presentation, I got the work from my last group member and discovered that the other two were not showing up to the presentation. I went into the presentation frustrated. I am the type to have my work done days before and not minutes before. Looking at the slideshow, I discovered the group member’s photos that I received that morning looked similar in content to mine, and decided to make him go first. Logically, it made sense for him to speak first, since I knew more of the material and was covering my part and the two parts of my group members. It made sense, but I also had a feeling of satisfaction knowing that the other student was not as informed of the details of the assigned program as I was — which was not my fault, as he had a responsibility to make an effort in the group assignment. He did not know the basic details of the program, despite the fact he had come with me to the first meeting with the professor and I sent a detailed email to everyone about that meeting. He provided little detail and quickly finished so I could start speaking. 

 

It felt satisfying because the entire class and our professor witnessed the lack of information he knew. It became evident when I began speaking that everyone could hear the confidence in my voice as I relayed the information to the class without hesitation. During question time, the class directly asked me the questions about the program and barely looked at him. I felt like I got even because he was required to speak and proved that he did not do much work, sort of embarrassing himself — at least, I would have been embarrassed if I did not know the information and it was clear to everyone else. 

 

Overall, I got even with one of my group members. Did it make me feel better? Did it solve the conflict? Yes and no. 

 

My decision to make him speak first, knowing he did not know as much information as me, made it known to the class that I did more work than he did and put more effort into the assignment. However, it did not solve the conflict or make me feel better afterwards. I felt the brief satisfaction of having everyone know I did the work and he did not, but it was out of my nature to act in that manner. I am the person to help someone out when they are struggling, but I did not jump to help him when he was clearly not aware of the information. I think my frustration at each member took over, being the main organizer and not receiving help with a component as simple as putting a slideshow together. Additionally, it did not solve the conflict. We were receiving individual marks for the assignment. Regardless of the struggles, each member did take their own photos, allowing them to earn a mark for that, and only losing some for not showing up to the presentation. 

 

I got even, but the conflict was not solved. The professor was not aware of the conflict occurring, due to the lack of participation from the rest of my group members. He was not aware that I did all of the planning and preparation myself, nor of the effort I put into the assignment. If I had communicated the conflict with him, then I could have resolved the conflict or at least improved the situation. It can feel nice to get even when in a conflict with another person. But focusing on getting revenge on the other person does not solve the problem, it just buries it.  

 

 

MacKenzie is a digital media enthusiast with interests in various aspects of media. She takes part in novel hunting, photo and video creating, and creative writing.

 

Sewing Hearts

Cristina Crescenzo (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

I believe that if there was an intro to self-confidence class offered to me at school, I would be the first one to sign up because I, like many other individuals, can be self-deprecating to a fault. It has gotten so bad that I use putting myself down as a form of humor to get others to like me. Thus, I understand that learning to be confident in who you are is something that can take your whole life. That is what is so great about childhood, because those were the days you could get up in front of strangers and belt out a tune at the top of your lungs! I think sometimes we forget about the fearless child within our hearts as we age and start to criticize everything and anyone.

 

Therefore, in my personal opinion, the concepts of perfection and normality should be thrown out the window, because society has made the line between the two so thin that you could easily fall off trying to get across to the other side. Take self-confidence for instance, people will say if you are overconfident you are a snob, and if you put yourself down you are weak, so in society’s eyes there is no right answer to a question it created. There are always going to be opposites within the human experience, and yet we contradict ourselves by calling each side of the spectrum a flaw, so it is okay to be frustrated by these invisible guidelines. 

 

I have always wondered why we can’t keep our childhood mindset that tells us we can be anything we want. Once some people lose that blissful ignorance, they start to become uncomfortable in their skin. I want us to be able to sew our hearts on our sleeves and talk more often about a topic that affects many lives. I cannot help but think that, through time, we have gotten further away from what being a human actually means. We are meant to be one hundred percent authentic from the day we burst forth into this world, but we then spend so much time covering the human traits that make us special. Consequently, anyone who strays or questions this way of life is a liability, so we have been taught to belittle ourselves down to the smallest detail. 

 

Furthermore, we want to pretend that we aren’t restricting individuality when the most important facets of becoming who you are have little rules written on them, and we continue to put a veil over this reality. In conclusion, in a world where we are supposed to have freedom, I can’t help but feel that there is another hand guiding me toward its own best interests. My advice to help push against that hand is to take the time to remember who you were and what you believed in as a kid, because our lifetime supply of self-confidence is buried deep inside us. All we have to do is dig it out.

 

 

Cristina Crescenzo is a 21-year-old aspiring writer who really loves contributing to the Low Entropy blog and its many thought-provoking topics in the hopes of one day writing novels to spread disability and mental health awareness.

 

Letter from My 80-Year-Old Self

Neema Ejercito (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

My dearest Neema,

 

So here we are at the age where we wanted to be when we were in our 30s. I remember us telling Mommy whenever we encountered challenges how much we wanted to skip over all of that and just be me now — wise, calm and transcendental, ha! I definitely give less f’s now, but I don’t know if I’d call myself all of those adjectives. I definitely feel a lot achier and slower. I remember when we saw our 80-plus-year-olds then, Tito George and Tita Lory, when we were in our late 40s, after having moved to Vancouver. We were observing them because we wanted to understand our parents more, and we also wanted to see what we would look forward to in our senior years.

 

How we struggled to make sense of our move to Vancouver then. I remember the frustration we felt at things not moving according to our own pace, and the uncertainty of our permanent resident approval and later, our citizenship. I think I’m supposed to give you advice on how we made it this far, but honestly, we’ve always known that there aren’t really any formulas or templates to these things. And like what we’ve discovered when someone needs us, it truly is the time we spend with them that matters the most. Money helps, and talks – I still recall us realizing the double-edged truth to the latter.

 

Let’s see, maybe I can tell you how you and Ron are doing. Before that, let me tell you how you are doing. We are still writing, and I love that that’s exactly what we wanted to be doing in our senior years. Even then, we didn’t believe in retirement. We are writing, getting published and making appearances, but more importantly, we are still teaching. We’ve always liked the flexible schedule, especially now that we can spend time with our grandchildren. So because, I guess, of the success of our writing projects, we are at a place where we can actually dictate when to work and what projects to take — yey! I know we’ve always wondered if we were ever going to get to that point, even being content daydreaming about it because it always seemed out of reach, or more for other people, but never for us. Only “nice to have,” so to speak. 

 

Before getting into the grandkids, we do have a couple of feature films (one animated and one live-action) produced, a couple of chapbooks under our belt and a book series. Prior to Julia Cameron’s passing, she actually coordinated with us so that we could come up with our own version of The Artist’s Way. With her blessing, ours is called The Artist in Me

 

So how are you and Ron? He actually passed on at 70, the year he wished to die. I am constantly thankful that he didn’t have to experience that feeling of being a burden that he so detested. We talk to him every day, rubbing the small jar locket of his ashes on our neck as we do so.

 

We take turns living with the kids these days, so our year is divided into 3 locations. When we are with Joaquin, we help take care of our 3 grandkids: Pharrell, Ember and Dandy, a boy and 2 girls. Yes, he and Kat ended up together, though it wasn’t easy what they went through, but you already knew that. The heartbreak was something we quietly shared with Joaquin, but Ron made it a bit easier by dating you a lot, as we know he loves to do, and without being too obvious, spoiling Joaquin with musical performances together (yes, Joaquin’s violin and Ron’s sax lessons pay off emotionally, mentally and spiritually).

 

Lara has one boy, and because you haven’t met her partner, I won’t spoil it =D (Yes, at our age, we still write personal messages with emojis). She is a mycologist and actually met Paul Stamets before he passed. She actually knows his son (hint, hint).

 

As for Ramon, his babies are his capybaras and his adopted elephant seal at the Vancouver Aquarium. He’s busy in the IT industry helping out start-ups, and is the richest among the 3 kids. And yes, you help him take care of Capy and Bara when you’re at his place.

 

If I may just leave you with a poem we wrote as my last bit of “advice”:

 

May We Always

 

May we always have just enough

Just enough food to savour each bite

Just enough water to find it sweet

Just enough to wear to enjoy the weather

Just enough house to take care of it all

Just enough work to know rest

Just enough rest to be productive

Just enough company to enjoy each moment

Just enough silence to listen

 

To the universe, to ourselves, to each other

 

Just enough noise to enjoy

Just enough peace to act

Just enough to do to remember why

 

Just enough sadness to move past it

Enough anger for injustice to do the right thing

Enough happiness to share it

Enough fear to rise above it

Enough doubt to trust it

 

May we always be enough

Be enough to know our worth

Be enough to go where we’re needed

Be enough not to compare

Be enough to remember we matter, we count, we dare

 

May we make enough count.

 

Be.

 

Enough. 

 

I love you, sweetie.

 

You

 

Note: I have written letters to myself since I came across this task in Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way over 20 years ago. I have since made possibly three-to-four versions of the letter, and even did one where my current self wrote to my eight-year-old self. I find that updating the letter every so often really helps me put in perspective where I currently am and where I am headed.

 

 

Neema Ejercito is a professional writer, director and creative writing mentor. Her 3D edutainment series for beginning readers, AlphaBesties, is showing in YouTube Japan and Prairie Kids. When she’s not writing or mentoring, she manages her household with her very supportive husband and three children.

 

Life After Toxic Relationships

Low Entropy Guest Contributor

 

All I’ve known is dysfunction, chaos and drama. This was the norm to me. I had a tendency to “fall in love” after only knowing someone for a week . . . I would chalk this up to fate or destiny! We’d been waiting our whole lives, and we finally found one another. The beginning of our romance novel was exciting and intense. We would think of each other all day, send one another countless messages, fall asleep on the phone together. We couldn’t get enough of each other. It was magic, the chemistry was beyond anything I’d ever experienced before. After a month or two, we couldn’t bear to be apart, so we quickly rearranged our lives and moved in together. Now the rest of our lives could begin, and we could live happily ever after. 

 

But shortly after living together, I would recognize sides of him that I didn’t notice before, like jealousy and anger. At first, I thought it was cute that he was jealous.

 

“He just loves me so much, and he can’t stand the thought of losing me . . . awww, that’s so sweet.” 

 

When he would have bursts of anger, I would tell myself that he needed me to love him because he’d never experienced real love before, and that’s why he reacted in such angry ways. I could be the one to love him so much that his anger would eventually fade away. 

 

Not true.

 

His anger never faded away.

 

I must have replayed this movie four or five times. You’d think I’d get tired of the same old story, but I seem to find comfort in familiarity.

 

After my last dysfunctional relationship, I charged my partner with assault and was forced to go no-contact with him, due to the charges I placed on him. This helped me escape the trauma bond that I found myself in, once again. I finally interrupted my pattern of attracting toxic relationships and, at last, I’m free of the chaos, drama and dysfunction that I grew accustomed to. 

 

So what’s next?

 

I find I have a lot more time on my hands to be with me. I’ve come face-to-face with who I am, and I’m forced to acknowledge all the parts of me. No longer can I distract myself in the chaos of a toxic relationship. Instead, I find myself . . . bored. If all you’ve ever known is drama and that drama subsides, normality can take some time to adjust to.

 

My codependent tendencies have shown up in other ways, but at least now I’m aware of them. 

 

Codependency. The need to be liked, to be accepted and to feel loved. If I can make someone else need/love/want me . . . then I must be worthwhile. I must be important.

 

In reality, I have to need/love/want myself. I have to stop picking myself apart and start appreciating who I am and how far I’ve come. 

 

Sure, there are things about me that I’m not in favor of. I can be cranky, selfish and insecure. But I can also be real, authentic and vulnerable.

 

Instead of focusing on all the things I don’t like about myself, I’m choosing to focus on all the things I do like about myself. I like my openness and willingness to learn. I like my “just do it” attitude. I like my fashion sense. I like my awareness and commitment to grow and evolve into my full potential.

 

I like what I’m doing right now. I like liking myself.

 

Leave your thoughts for us in the comments below better yet, start up a dialogue with the Low Entropy community in person at a Conscious Connections meeting or online at our community site. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and YouTube to stay up-to-date with Low Entropy news!

Ordinary Everydays

Cecilia Watt (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

It’s easy to find hope and inspiration in big things, isn’t it? This year, Canada watched snowboarder Max Parrot win gold and bronze at the Olympics, and while that was inspiring in itself, the inspiration was increased tenfold by the fact that he accomplished this only a few years after being diagnosed with cancer. Big moments of inspiration like this are wonderful and necessary for the human spirit, but they often make our own lives feel small, ordinary and lacking. Add in the listlessness that came with the pandemic and you can’t help but ask yourself, “What could be so inspiring about my normal, everyday life?” I think that you can find hope in the goodness in the world and the inspiration to be a part of it as a part of an “ordinary” everyday life. If the past few years have taught me anything, it’s that the chance to live ordinary things is the most extraordinary chance we’re given.

 

In 2020, I graduated university during the first wave of the pandemic. There was no ceremony at school, so my friends and I made our own before we had to separate in March. With paper diplomas, graduation music played on YouTube, dresses, heels and four years’ worth of tears, we went our separate ways, not knowing when we’d see each other again. I had lost my dad three months before, and would lose my grandma to COVID-19 one month after the day of our goodbye ceremony. The grief of my loved ones, my former life and who I used to be consumed me, and after months of numbness, I decided to be consumed by something else: a job at a domestic violence shelter.

 

In the year I worked there I found inspiration from people living everyday lives, in spite of experiencing the worst the world had to offer. I laughed — really laughed — with the women I met, so hard that it hurt my stomach. They teased me when I (allegedly) couldn’t whisk an egg properly in the kitchen. We celebrated every holiday together, and we celebrated not having the energy to participate in holidays together too. I helped a client beat a level of Fishdom every day when I had a minute, and another client taught me about Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch (who knew he and Mark Wahlberg were one and the same?). One taught me about diamond art, and another gave me her colouring pages when she was done with them, as a gift. They brought me back to life simply by allowing me to be a part of their ordinary lives. Of course, there were many moments of pain and hopelessness. Those moments reinforced to me how lucky we were to live the good ones together.

 

I went sledding with the children of the shelter one snowy day, and I can safely say that it was one of the best days of all our lives. These kids had lived through the unspeakable, and all of us staff who went with them were weighed down by that knowledge and our own lives. But that day? That day, they just got to be kids — and so did we. We crashed in the snow, flew off our sleds and raced each other, and not a single one of us wanted to leave. Another ordinary day, another extraordinary moment.

 

I’ve been told by family, friends, coworkers and acquaintances that the way I handled my grief was an inspiration to them. I’m still not sure how I feel about that: all I did was my best, and it usually felt like my worst. The reason I could do my best is because of the peace and hope I found in the daily things that we’re taught aren’t noteworthy.

 

In the fall of 2021 I moved to Vancouver, reuniting with three of those friends with whom I had “graduated” on their rickety, student house staircase. I decided it was time to leave my hometown and try something new, before going back into the grad school fray the following year. Cue immediate existential crisis. I wasn’t in school, and was now unemployed in a new city, taking a break from the social service work that had made me feel so useful. It left me in that strange limbo of grief where you feel like people think you should be doing better than you actually are. For the first time in years, my life was only made of little things, with no big, earth-shattering ones in sight. I felt useless and so deeply ordinary, like a secondary character in my own life. Then, I found my new favourite café. I made very poorly designed clay mugs with my roommates at an art studio. I found a therapist I really connected with and kept in touch with my friends. I kept falling more in love with the best person I’ve ever met, every day. We made paper snowflakes to decorate for Christmas and watched The Bachelorette every week. I continued to contribute to the lives of others and my own, and I remembered that the pause we take between words is just as important as what we’re saying.

 

We will forever need those big moments of hope and inspiration. What I want you to know is that those big moments are always tied together by ordinary everydays, the same ones that you and I live. Max Parrot’s medal is made even more golden by all the little moments of hope that I’m sure he found in his ordinary days, the ones that gave him the strength to deliver that same hope back to us. So go about your ordinary day in any way that brings you peace, and remember how special that is. After all, isn’t finding a moment of peace in a world so loud and blinding the most extraordinary thing of all?

 

 

Cecilia Watt is a recent university graduate taking a few years off before grad school to focus on all the little joys in life, such as chai lattes, good books and listening to music while going for walks. 

From Another Street

Julia Magsombol (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Please note that this article discusses suicide and suicidal ideation.

 

I was 10 when I first became afraid of the conversation around death. I had known all along what it meant when someone you loved died, but not the idea of losing them. It was a sunny afternoon in Manila, and the only thing that made the weather somewhat balanced was the breezy air that plunged into our sweat. I was on the patio with my grandmother and our house cleaner.

 

The town where I came from was small, so gossip was like dust, it was everywhere. Gossip and conversations could be heard from here to there. It didn’t matter where you were. You’d just hear things. 

 

“Oh Cely, you wouldn’t believe what I just heard!” our house cleaner muttered. 

 

“What is it, Muray?” 

 

“A man killed himself in his house just last week!” 

 

“Jesus Christ! Where is he from?” 

 

“I don’t know, but he’s from another street!” 

 

“Tsk, tsk!” 

 

“His fiancé left him for another man. I guess he couldn’t take it anymore!” 

 

“What a poor man. God bless him.” 

 

“He hanged himself just under the loft bed! I guess he wanted to die fast.” 

 

“That is brutal! Did anyone come to check up on him?” 

 

“No one. His body was decaying when people recovered it. His family is not in Manila, and he was all alone for years — well, aside from his ex-fiancé.” 

 

“Poor man. What a lonely death. No wonder he killed himself.” 

 

The conversation goes on and on. It terrifies me to hear such a thing. 

 

I never understood what the guy was feeling, but for a second, I thought he could’ve just gone far away and travelled to different countries to feel better about the break-up. As I got older, I realized that even if he had escaped the place he was in, he’d still have been miserable. At that moment, he had lost the love of his life, and perhaps himself — and how could he move on from that situation? He’d be dead either way. 

 

But his ending might have been a little different if he had someone besides his fiancé. If someone would have been there during his darkest times, he might not have killed himself. I can’t really know what ending he would’ve had. Well, truthfully, we all die at the end, that’s all of our endings.

 

But I know things could’ve been better if someone had knocked on his door and asked how he was — if someone had eaten with him and talked to him. 

 

It could’ve been better if he had the chance to realize that he wanted to live longer, maybe for himself. It could’ve been better if he’d had someone. At least, there would have been a greater chance that he would live longer and die peacefully. 

 

What’s tiresome in this world is how we build walls within ourselves instead of a bridge when we are drowning in our darkest times. We build walls around ourselves and we don’t let anyone enter. And others don’t want to reach out because of the walls that they have built as well. We end up being alone and hurting during our difficult moments. 

 

And so I’ve finally grasped it: we don’t need a lot of things to hold on to during our difficulties. We just need someone. 

 

I never knew the name of the man, nor what he looked like. I don’t even remember what street he was living on or what address he had. All I remember is that he was a man from another street who killed himself. 

 

The next morning, everybody went on with their everyday lives. Gossip kept flowing. It seemed like the guy from another street never even existed. 

 

 

Julia Magsombol is currently a journalism student from Edmonton, Canada, who desires to bring hope to people through her writing. When not writing or reading, you can catch her sewing clothes, painting nature and drinking instant coffee.

On Travelling

Neema Ejercito (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Italy was one of the first countries in Europe that I ever visited. My husband had been raving about the country as one of his favourites, so my expectations were really high. Italy was not one to disappoint.

 

My husband’s and my way of travelling is not the point and click, let’s-get-to-all-the-attractions kind of travelling. We’re more the let’s-take-in-the-local-life kind of tourists. We’d rather sit in a cafe and go people-watching, even if it would mean missing out on a scheduled museum tour. We prefer to walk through a park with a friend or two rather than taking in a famous church, market and shopping mall in one afternoon. We like getting lost and finding our way back.

 

That being said, on our first day in Rome together 12 years ago, as our cab made its way to our hotel right in the heart of tourist-filled Trevi, I was amazed how its current structures had grown around the ancient ruins of this once-magnificent, almost god-like city. I didn’t have to look far to see sculptures, stone walls and obelisks. I marvelled at how Roman pedestrians seemed to take these for granted. But then I imagined myself feeling much the same way as I rushed off to a meeting in Intramuros, focusing on the traffic rather than Manila’s fair share of magnificence.

 

When we took to the streets the next day, we walked into the churches we chanced upon, whether they were well-known or not. Outside one of them, I took a photo of a bust, marvelling at how smooth the stone had been cut and formed, how the skin was really made to look like that of a human’s. Sculptures like these were all over the city. To think, what kind of craftspeople the Romans used to be!

 

We went to Venice a couple of days later, and though I had heard of this city of love countless times, there really is nothing like experiencing the real thing. I did not want to leave. My heart was smitten. I was already planning on how to stay there longer, what jobs my husband and I would do, what kind of lives we would lead, how we would raise our kids and what kind of schools they would attend. Truly, Venice was for lovers and dreamers. I remember feeling the serenity of the city’s atmosphere as we had cappuccino on our first day there, watching a mother and child as the mom got herself a cup of coffee and a gelato for her daughter, who contentedly sat on her mother’s lap.

I did grow to detest the cobbled streets, especially when my husband and I got lost for the hundredth time, but the photogenic vistas of the city just took our breath away. Being photographers ourselves, we just marvelled at how every nook and cranny seemed to just be filled with beauty that seemed to be waiting to be discovered only by us.

 

On our last couple of days back in Rome, we checked out the top reason my husband loves Rome so much, the Vatican. And just to show how much of a “feeling local” type of tourists we are, we didn’t even book to see the Sistine Chapel, we just walked around the Vatican without having to feel pressured with time to take in what we should. We stayed there the whole day so we could capture a praying man and a view of the Vatican at night, just to mention a few sights.

 

I think that is the beauty of travelling, that it seems to hold different meanings for the traveller, even if we all go to the same place at the same time. Because the beauty of travelling may not necessarily be in where we are or what we see, but what we bring to it and where we are inside. So to all fellow travellers like me, whether we are travelling far to some distant place, hoping to check it off our list, or just to get to work, let’s keep our senses alive to the beauty that reaches out to us, even if, or rather, especially because it is already inside us.

 

Neema Ejercito is a professional writer, director and creative writing mentor. Her 3D edutainment series for beginning readers, AlphaBesties, is showing in YouTube Japan and Prairie Kids. When she’s not writing or mentoring, she manages her household with her very supportive husband and three children.

Building Optimism from Negative Experiences

Sasna Nawran, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

As human beings, we face numerous challenges and negative experiences in our day-to-day lives such as relationship struggles, loss of a loved one, financial crises, and many more. We go through a range of emotions. At times when everything goes wrong, we lose hope and we tend to view our life as a failure. Yeah, it’s normal to experience these negative thoughts and emotions during hard times but prolonged negativity can be harmful. It can inhibit us from reaching our goals and it can hinder our happiness. Therefore, it is important to know how to be optimistic while we go through bad phases in our lives.

What does it mean to be optimistic?

Most of the time we misunderstand what optimism is. We think optimism is ignoring our emotions or the negative situation and focusing only on the good things in life. But it’s not that. It is simply the attitude of hope and positivity. It is accepting the bad situation we are in and hoping for the best in the future. Research shows that optimism can affect our physical and mental wellbeing along with our everyday activities. By learning to cope with negative experiences effectively and by practicing optimism, we can transform our lives.

Here are some tips that I find useful to keep me optimistic while going through negative experiences.

  • Acknowledge and accept the situation.

When you are in a bad situation it’s normal to experience negative emotions. Acknowledge your feelings rather than ignore them to convince yourself that you are fine. Instead, give yourself a pep talk. You may have faced numerous obstacles in the past that you have now overcome. So believe that this is another one of those challenges that you can face and it will pass like all the others. No situation is permanent.

If the bad experience you are facing is due to a wrong choice or a mistake that you have made, then do not be too harsh and judgmental of yourself. If you have made a mistake, make peace with it, forgive yourself and try to avoid doing it in the future. Remind yourself, everyone makes mistakes and it is how we learn.

You can also talk about your feelings honestly with a close friend or write them in a journal. Even involving yourself in a physical activity that you like such as running, yoga, or simply a walk outside while enjoying the cool breeze will help you to eliminate the negativity and make you feel better.

  • Practice mindfulness

While going through a negative experience, it is natural that you overthink and imagine the worst scenarios that could happen in the future. Practicing mindfulness will help you avoid this. Mindfulness is being in the present moment rather than overthinking about the future. 

I found a useful technique to practice mindfulness. It is W.I.N. which stands for What is Important Now? When you have a negative experience and start to obsess about the uncertain future, ask yourself “What is important right now?” and bring your thoughts back to the present. Determine what is most essential to you at this time and in these circumstances. Make it your primary goal for the day. Practice this technique every day and eventually, your thoughts will be focused on the present.

  • Practice gratitude

No matter how bad the situation you are in, there will always be positive things that we don’t notice as we are focused on the negativity only. Try to think of three positive things at a time. Ask yourself, “What good things happened today?” It could be simple things like having a good meal or completing a simple task that you have planned. When you do this daily you start to notice, appreciate and be grateful for the good things around you. This will build positivity and eventually you will see a huge change in your life. This is a technique that has helped me immensely in  becoming an optimist.

  • Determine the things that are out of your control

You are not in control of everything. Some situations are beyond your authority. For example, during this pandemic some of you may have lost your jobs or some of your plans may not  have gone as expected, but the pandemic is something that is out of our control. Remember you have the option of either allowing these unfavorable situations to pull you down or embracing them and rising above them. 

We all prefer to face positive experiences and avoid negative ones. But a world without challenges or hardships is unrealistic. Therefore, learning to cope with the negative experiences effectively is the best possible way to lead a happier and healthier life.

 

Leave your thoughts for Sasna in the comments below better yet, start up a dialogue with the Low Entropy community in person at a Conscious Connections meeting or online at our community site. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and YouTube to stay up-to-date with Low Entropy news!

Inspiration and Impact

Grace Cheng (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Globally, the current pandemic affects everyone. There is a great deal of stress associated with the changes and uncertainty caused by this crisis. It has been shown that stress negatively impacts health. The consequences of stress can be minimized by providing encouragement, social support and care. Many of the damaging effects of stress are more likely to occur when there are no safety nets, partners, family members or friends who can offer a listening ear or help. There are many helpful and creative ways to enable remote care, provide additional support, establish contact and launch other heart-warming initiatives aimed at supporting each other during this time. It has been inspiring to observe the creativity unleashed during the COVID-19 pandemic.

 

By sharing your innovative ideas about ways to inspire and help others, you can have a greater impact on your community and country. It is one of the ways in which you can contribute to a better future for everyone.

 

Humans are naturally drawn to inspiration. In fact, inspiration is one of the primary stimuli for creativity. Having a positive attitude helps us be our best despite negative circumstances. The question is, how does one inspire others?

 

Listed below are ten suggestions to get you started:

  • Showing Care 

You can ask them questions. Show genuine interest in the people around you. Showing your genuine concern for others will make you an inspiration.

  • Being Sincere

No one will be inspired if you appear insincere or fake. You must believe what you are saying and adhere to your view of life. To show that this matters to you, it is essential to make it matter to you.

  • Encouraging Others

Everyone experiences hard times from time to time. This is a great opportunity to inspire and motivate a person to see the best in him or her and in their situation.

  • Showing Enthusiasm

If you wish to inspire others, you must be willing to express your passion. Simply by expressing publicly that you are enthusiastic and passionate about a subject, you can gain a tremendous amount of influence. Expressions of passion can be contagious, as they arouse curiosity in those around you. People will wonder why you are so passionate about what you are passionate about. Some will naturally take the time to understand what it is about the topic that interests you.

  • Seeing the Best in People

Seeing the best in people is one of the most effective ways to inspire them towards improvement. It motivates them to reach their dreams and goals. To inspire others, you should emphasize their positive qualities rather than their negative ones. You will find that inspiration will flow easily if you focus on these qualities wherever you interact with them.

  • Active Listening

By actively listening to others, you show them that they are important and that their ideas are worth considering. Eye contact is important when someone shares their problems with you. Ask follow-up questions to show them you care about what they are experiencing and want to understand their viewpoint as well as you can. 

  • Helping People Heal

Stand by them and help them build a better future, rather than judging them based on their past. By positively impacting the lives of others, you are also positively impacting your own. You can make someone happier or reduce their suffering if you focus on others’ needs. We all appreciate the gift of unexpected assistance and those who can provide it.

          

  • Trusting People

The key to inspiring others is to trust in their ability to learn, adapt, and grow. Everyone makes mistakes at some point in their lives. To inspire them to do better, we need to trust them to learn from their experiences.

  • Giving Hope to Others

The most important aspect of inspiring others is hope. It is imperative to give them hope. It is crucial for them to believe that there is a goal, a reward at the end of the tunnel, for the challenges they will face.

  •  Being a Good Communicator

You must be able to communicate effectively to motivate and inspire others. You should be aware of your voice and how you speak. The words you speak can have a profound impact on the way in which someone feels about themselves.

 

 

Grace has an accounting and finance background. She enjoys reading, writing, listening to music, watching movies and playing sports.

New Dreams, New Me

Olivia Callari (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

It was September 2021 and I was getting ready for another day at work. Summer was ending, and I was at a three-lane crossroads with myself. I had just taken a semester off from university, abandoned my five-year career goal of becoming a real estate agent and was mourning the end of a three-year relationship. I remember getting up that morning feeling more sluggish than usual, with an overwhelming feeling of anxiety and a racing mind that could lead a NASCAR race. It was the first day I admitted to myself that I had absolutely no sense of direction, the first day where I questioned my purpose on this earth. I never believed when people said that life can change in the blink of an eye, until it did. It wasn’t the type of change that was visible, which can be equally overwhelming, but the kind of change that makes you look at everything you built and question whether you really want it. 

 

When I was younger, I was a performer. I sang, I danced, I acted, I created art and music. My dream was to become a famous actor and prove to myself that what I was performing would make a successful career one day. I always knew there was more out there for me than a conventional profession, one that was more easily attainable than pursuing an artistic career with a lot of success. The hopes and dreams that I had when I was a kid had left me once I reached high school, the crowds I was surrounding myself with did not believe that the life I had wanted for myself was “realistic,” and it was a very judgemental environment. I quickly conformed to their standards and settled on the idea that I would be a top-selling real estate agent, and that was all for me. Of course, this career path is far from settling, but it never felt truly fulfilling for me. Years and years of conditioning my reality to fit that goal also brought so much time where I was not in tune with my creativity, nor with the dream I had as a child. I lost my passion for the arts, and I lost my ability to let life happen for me instead of to me. 

 

Since that September moment only a mere six months ago, I transformed into someone I never thought I would be. I did not think it was possible, until it was, and then everything outside and inside me turned. The epiphany of that morning sparked a need for change, and then some. My entire inner world was asking me to follow a path I had not chosen, as it was reappearing with a lot of appeal. I decided to fall back into the arts and deemed it a risk, but I had nothing to lose. I applied to acting schools and began monologuing in my free time. I became consumed by creativity and looked at the things around me, and with each day, I allowed the things that didn’t serve my new purpose to dissipate. My hopes and dreams had changed within such a short amount of time, and with that change I was starting to feel totally different. I was learning a lot more about myself and what I wanted, and the people around me couldn’t understand why I was different all of a sudden. There was so much that was new to me that I couldn’t possibly continue to carry all of the old ways of doing things, which shocked others and myself. 

 

In this moment, I sit here, writing about how the change of my hopes and dreams brought a change in myself, and think about the person I once was. I do not know her, I can only remember what she was like, but she is no longer me. Of course I mourned her, but I know that she helped me get to where I am today. Change is constant, it’s only obvious when you are called to it. The need to fulfil a new purpose meant altering what didn’t fit it. 

 

 

Olivia is a film and television certificate student at NYU Tisch and a recent graduate from Dawson College in cinema and communications. Having grown up in Montreal, Quebec, Olivia has surrounded herself with different cultures and means of creative expression, with hopes to one day incorporate it into her film and television work. Through writing and other forms of artistic expression, Olivia has a natural desire to help others overcome their inhibitions and reach their fullest potential.

Things I Learned from Colouring My First Adult Colouring Book Page

Neema Ejercito (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

I was never about fads or following what was trending. In fact, I shunned fads to a fault. It took me a while to read the Harry Potter series, and I still haven’t read The Fault in Our Stars. And back when alternative music was viewed as “dirty,” I forced myself to listen to it to drown out the popular easy-listening or pop rock bands. There was even a time I looked down on anything pop, but thanks to the wisdom of age, I’ve come to terms with it, and I now admit that BTS and Arianna Grande are musical treats.

 

When adult colouring books became popular in the Philippines in 2015, my initial response, as usual, was “meh.” I appreciated the ones my illustrator friends were working on and supported them when they sold theirs. But it wasn’t till another artist friend gave me my own that I realized how truly awesome they were.

 

The book instructed me to choose my favourite page, and stop whenever I felt like it. From there, I learned other truths that I think are lessons I keep learning in other areas of my life:

 

  1. I don’t have to fill in all the empty spaces.

I don’t know about you, but I tend to get obsessed with white spaces in a colouring book, especially with something as intricate as the designs in an adult colouring book. With the guideline to stop whenever I liked, I learned to take a look at my work and just know when to stop.

 

Kind of like in real life. I tend to fill my schedule so that I don’t waste time. My husband’s been telling me that I tend to fill up empty horizontal spaces, whether on a table or on the floor. So when I see an empty entry in my daily divided-per-hour calendar, I sometimes have to remind myself that that’s okay, and it’s actually time to rest or watch Netflix or just do something that doesn’t have to make sense.

 

  1. It’s okay to colour outside the lines. 

 

I’m usually the type of person who is really strict about sticking to lines and making sure that my colours are even, but just letting that go in the colouring book has actually been a more creative process for me. Letting go doesn’t necessarily mean being messy. Or even if it seems like it is, it doesn’t have to mean chaos.

 

I’m still learning this lesson as a mom, especially when I wish my kids would keep their clothes clean and ironed so that I can take nice pictures of them. But sometimes, the best pictures are actually the ones of how they actually look — when they just ate chocolate cake or when they’re sweaty from running around.

 

  1. The big picture will sometimes look better if you don’t concern yourself with the little details.

 

I wanted to have a colour plan for my first page so I would know where it was headed, but I found that I sometimes had to go one colour at a time to know my next colour. It was freeing to see it all come together without my control.

 

I’ve tried so hard to direct my life in a certain way, feeling that I should have a plan and always know where to go. Maybe that works for others, but I’ve learned to accept that it doesn’t always work for me, at least not in the way I want. I’ve also learned that Someone really is in control and knows what’s best for me and is taking care of me, and I’m still constantly growing within that.

 

It’s amazing what a piece of paper with some lines and a box of crayons can do.  Like a writer friend of mine said, the reason that clichés are cliché is because they are true. They resonate with so many people. And there’s nothing wrong with that.  

 

Neema Ejercito is a professional writer, director and creative writing mentor. Her 3D edutainment series for beginning readers, AlphaBesties, is showing in YouTube Japan and Prairie Kids. When she’s not writing or mentoring, she manages her household with her very supportive husband and three children.

The Tapestry Has Meaning on Both Sides

Kiranjeet Kaur (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

We have excellent intentions when we inspire someone, but the real question is whether we are doing it correctly. What if the individual isn’t ready yet, but will be in the future? It is human nature to want to see results immediately, and this can cause us to get quite anxious. Let me tell you about a time when someone inspired me and it took me 20 years to act on that inspiration. That individual who kept urging me never gave up, and I am grateful for that.

 

I met a wonderful woman in my university chemistry class when I was 20 years old, and she recognized something in me and encouraged me to become a psychologist. I thanked her for the compliment, but I was focused on becoming a registered nurse and earning a degree. She kept nudging me, saying that this was the ideal path for me, since she admired how good of a listener I was and how insightful I was from my own and other people’s experiences.

 

I used to think about what she said now and then, especially when I failed several of my program’s classes, but I couldn’t bring myself to do anything about it, since I was terrified. My parents were certain that I should only pursue a career as an RN because they wanted me to be able to make money immediately after graduation and have a recession-proof job.

 

In my third year, I pulled out of the program and became sad, believing that I had failed my parents and myself. I felt my life was finished, since I wasn’t following society’s prescribed path. I had time to get back on track, but my parents couldn’t handle the disappointment and chose to make life-changing decisions for me.

 

When I relocated to another province, my friend used to send me books and letters to stay in touch with me. I’d read a few pages before putting the book down, feeling motivated and ready to check into universities in my area to enroll in a psychology program, but something always seemed to get in the way, and at the time, it was me putting my family first.

 

I’ve finally begun pursuing my passion by taking part-time classes, which I’m truly enjoying. I value the age and experience I bring to the table, and I have had time to process the emotions I have experienced. I picture this as a lovely tapestry: the front of the tapestry is a gorgeous woven masterpiece, but when you flip it over, you can see how untidy it is, with various threads scattered about, knots tied everywhere, exposing the raw materials used. Yes, it took me time to chase my dreams, but just like the back of the tapestry, I enjoyed the road I took to get there.

 

 

Kiranjeet Kaur is a married mother of two teenagers. She was born in Castlegar, British Columbia, raised in Alberta and spent most of her life in British Columbia. She has attended Mount Royal University, the University of Calgary and Bow Valley College, and enjoys reading, cooking and taking walks in the woods.

In the Details

Bethany Howell (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

I can get into mental states that do not allow me any joy, as though my brain has vacuumed out the beauty of the world. I spent a good portion of my life seeking out cures for this feeling. Medications and therapies help the baseline, but I still find myself struggling to truly enjoy the world around me — to feel inspired. I have tried meditation and plenty of self-help books, but it all seems to be to little avail. There are so many solutions labeled “To Help Inspire and Change Your Life!,” yet in my experience, none truly work on anything longer than short-term. Finding inspiration in everyday life is difficult if you don’t know what to look for, and it is clear that many try to capitalize on this fact.

 

A few years back, I tried something new. Instead of roaming around the Health and Wellness section of my local library, praying for a miracle, I decided to reflect on the past — what helped me when I was at my best. As a child, I was easily amazed, simple walks in nature were enough to keep me entertained. My parents would find me paying attention to the little details of life, stunned by the happiness I would find there. I used to discover the magic in life — what we are all searching for — so easily. 

 

I thought for many years that my ability to be inspired by such small things as frogs and clouds shaped like dinosaurs was something that I left in childhood. I thought this ability was, in itself, immature and inaccessible when my age grew past single digits. Yet, having no other options available to me, I decided to try to seek that magic once more.

 

I began carrying a camera with me as I completed my usual daily chores. It was a Nikon, almost a decade out-of-date at the time, that my parents had decided to lend me in my late teens. I kept it with me for months on end, collecting pictures of the pigeons downtown, the smiling faces of my friends between classes and the boats in the harbor atop the glistening, snow-covered ice. I sometimes look back at these photos and marvel at just how quickly I was able to pick up the little magics in life again. 

 

I still bring my camera along for adventures some days when I am especially not doing well — a much newer edition with such luxuries as automatic focusing — but I no longer require it to find inspiration in day-to-day life. This does not mean that all of my problems have been “fixed.” I still have days where I have trouble forcing myself out of bed. However, in times like these, I like to turn to the small things. I can always find something wondrous hiding in the mundane if I truly look. I harvest my happiness riding the bus for a long trip, listening to ballads and staring out the window as though I am in a music video. The delicate shades of the chlorophyll in a leaf never fail to help me stop the buildup of negative thoughts. 

 

I find my inspiration in the things everyone else overlooks. Maybe it is because they are never appreciated that I am able to truly be in awe of them. Who else would spend five minutes of her day admiring the tiny footprints left by a squirrel looking for his hidden winter stash? The trail the squirrel has left shows a pattern that — as I analyze it — appears to embody his thought process, leading from the tree, to the stump, back to the tree. I can tell that he knew exactly where to look this time, as there is a tiny hand-dug and nut-shaped hole beside the stump. It is moments like this that make me appreciate not just the small thing I am inspecting, but also the world around me as a whole. No, my problems are not all fixed by this one squirrel’s trail, but a portion of the weight of life has been lifted.

 

Life does not instantly heal itself when you look for inspiration in the mundane, but I truly believe that finding inspiration, however small, does help the healing process. I am, in no way, completely happy in my mindset, but I am doing better and that is what matters.

 

 

My name is Bethany Howell and I am a third-year university student majoring in psychology and minoring in family and child studies. I have a passion for writing and mental health, and my ultimate goal since age 13 has been to make a difference in the world through helping others, which is how I ended up here at Low Entropy!

My Four Anchors

Cristina Crescenzo (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

On the 29th of June 2020 I made a promise, and it was that I was going to live for my family, if not for myself. It was a conscious decision that I made entirely on my own when I hit rock bottom for the 30th time. I thought that I would use them as a beacon to drive me forward when hope in myself was scarce. I understand that saying my family is a replacement for hope is kind of cheesy, but in my case it is the truth. As such, there are four people in my life who keep me anchored to the ground in times when I want to fly away. 

 

The first is my mom. She is the one who gave me life, after all. She is the reason I understand the concept of unconditional love, because she has watched her own flesh and blood fall into the lowest form of despair countless times and she has stuck by me, even at possible detriment to her own well-being. My mind can’t begin to process what it must be like for a mother to watch the child she brought into this world, through no fault of her own, want to disappear off the face of it just because her little girl doesn’t believe she is worth it. I want to take this moment to thank my mother for her unwavering strength and her support, as I haven’t made it easy for her. I also want to thank her for taking me to countless physiotherapy and counseling appointments and staying by my side during the hospital stays. But most of all, I want to thank you for seeing me and doing everything you can to understand my mental health in the times when your hugs couldn’t comfort me. 

 

The second is my father, who sadly lost his battle to cancer in 2014, and like my mother, was a big believer in staying strong amidst a whole lot of obstacles. There was a saying he used to repeat to me when I would get insecure about my handicap: “Left side, strong side.” This basically meant that I was strong enough to overcome anything life could throw my way. Naturally, I can become upset thinking about the important milestones he missed and will continue to miss, but on the other hand, it is because my father lived his life to the fullest despite being taken from us way before his time that I have to attempt to live for him. I can’t say for sure that I will live as honestly and courageously as he did because I am not my father, however I can honor his memory by being who I am and spending time with the loved ones he left behind.

 

The third is my twin sister, because she is my laughter in the silence. She is always there to cheer me up when I feel low, and I know no matter what happens I can always count on her. She was the one who stopped taking a test and chased after me when I left school crying my eyes out. Even in the times when we are apart, all I have to do is call or text her and she will be there, whether it’s in person or not. We may go through our own challenges in life, but I know she loves me and she knows I love her, because I’m a weirdo and tell her all the time. All I could ever ask of her is to never change, because she is exactly what I need; I couldn’t ask for a better version of me. 

 

The last is my brother, and to me he is the embodiment of the drive you can have when you put your heart into something. The way he strives for goals and results is inspiring! We may not agree on everything, but I know deep down he has my best interests at heart, so thank you for pushing me harder when I push back.

 

To sum it up, I wouldn’t be here without my family, and I don’t know how I could ever begin to repay them, but hopefully this is a start.

 

P.S. To Buddy, my fluffy puppy, I didn’t forget about you. Thank you for never leaving me alone for a second and showering me with love! 

 

My name is Cristina Crescenzo and I am an English major and aspiring author hoping to bring more positive awareness to disabilities and mental health.

Genuine Hope

Neema Ejercito (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Especially during this pandemic, people have often used the word “hope” or its synonyms to try to make it through each day. I have certainly used it on different occasions, ranging from wanting to see someone in person again to attempting to comfort someone who is sick or has lost a loved one. Being hopeful has definitely been a necessary attitude to have as the pandemic drags on.

 

Is there ever a time when it becomes negative, though? I think hopefulness turns negative when it is used as rose-colored glasses. I would associate this with the term “toxic positivity,” when negative feelings are denied, blanketed with false comfort.

 

I remember when I became a mother for the first time, and I heard about children being the greatest blessings in the world and motherhood being a gift. I definitely agree with both statements, but I don’t always feel that way. Sure, there were a lot of cheerful motherhood and parenting books, but I gravitated towards Anne Lamott’s Operating Instructions, a very honest and unpopular view of pregnancy, at least in my circle. When I heard about a friend who literally wanted to throw her crying baby out of the window, I couldn’t help but relate to her.

 

I think genuine hopefulness is grounded in reality — the harsh, glaring, explosive, maddening, quiet, boring — whatever that reality is. Genuine hopefulness sees a situation or a person so truthfully that it can see past behaviour and what is prominent, but it can’t do that if it’s not rooted or based on what is. If hopefulness becomes an escape or a mask, it won’t help a person move forward. This kind of hopefulness will stunt a person’s growth, blind them and cause them to stop being open and flexible to what the situation calls for or to what the person they are relating to genuinely needs.

 

Going back to my motherhood example, if I kept on hoping that my kids would turn out to be great adults without taking into account that my shortcomings, with even my bestest of intentions, will mess them up or that they will make mistakes that will hurt me, my false hope may gloss over their weaknesses and trumpet only their strengths. They may grow up to think that they can truly do anything or be anyone they want to be without the discipline that comes with working on getting to know themselves and their dreams, or neglect to consider whether they currently have the skills and education to achieve their dreams or better themselves, and what to do about the gap in between.

 

I can understand why people might use hopefulness in a negative way, without being aware that they are doing so, or without really meaning to do so. The other option would mean stepping outside of their comfort zones or facing a truth that is too painful to bear. In order to survive, it might feel easier for us to just keep hoping for the best, without fully grasping that sometimes the best isn’t what we want.

 

I tend to be suspicious of things that sound too good to be true, and that is what negative hopefulness sounds like to me. I also try to be careful about sounding negatively hopeful because it is easy to do. Empathizing with someone can be draining, and I’ve noticed that when I’m emotionally spent, I easily switch to blanket cheer-up phrases. When actively being present for someone is what the situation calls for, and I am distracted by what I’m going to make for dinner or what my schedule is the next day, I will attempt to speed up the time by hoping that a quick fix will be enough.

 

The bottom line is that being genuinely hopeful is not easy. It’s an active, rather than passive, word. Genuine hope changes a situation because it requires us to see something that might have been worse as eventually possibly being something better. But what we see is not always on our terms. Being negatively hopeful is attempting to see something on our terms even when it is not. I think in our humanity, it is normal to feel negatively hopeful. But I hope we are able to move past that.

 

 

Neema Ejercito is a professional writer, director and creative writing mentor. Her 3D edutainment series for beginning readers, AlphaBesties, is showing in YouTube Japan and Prairie Kids. When she’s not writing or mentoring, she manages her household with her very supportive husband and three children.

The Age of Distraction

Ava Sandler (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

In an age of increasing technological presence, quiet, meditative practices that require intellectual care are rapidly subsiding. Silent and solitary activities, such as reading and writing, are dismissed as mock pastimes, as people fail to consider them on equal terms with hobbies that offer physical stimulation and psychological strain.  The value of these quieter, more introverted contributions is diminishing as our society grows increasingly concerned with busyness and the conventional act of “doing something.” Our concept of productivity has evolved into an unhealthy machine that tires the mind and body. United by the power they wield, sports and screens satiate our desire for distraction and busyness. As our society embraces a newfound state of overstimulation, the meditative activities that once satisfied the minds of our population can no longer offer liberation. In an attempt to further society, our values have changed to encompass a narrow idea of productivity and advancement at the expense of creative expression.

 

Several years ago, as I was preparing to enter the International Baccalaureate program in high school, a close friend of mine casually asked if I would finally enroll in extracurricular activities. She clearly did not consider my writing, nor my reading, nor the pilates, barre and yoga classes I attended worthy of the title “extracurricular activities.” Worth, however, is not at the root of such an issue. My friend herself is an avid reader and writer to this day; she had merely absorbed, much like the rest of us, the societal belief that these hobbies cannot possibly be defined as extracurricular activities due to their silent, solitary and physically undemanding nature. Particularly in the cases of reading and writing, these activities are dismissed largely because of their non-performative nature. Our society no longer values intellectual focus or critical thinking unless it is loudly paraded — be it in the form of competitions or performances or sports — or a clear path to technological modernity. Their involvement with the mind has allowed muted forms of psychological stimulation to fade into oblivion.

 

Recently, as I sat writing this very piece, my mother and sister sat before me. On one couch was my mother, wrapped in a blanket, casually drinking a cup of tea, ensconced in a book of essays, her expression curious and at peace; my sister, on the other hand, was slumped on the other couch, lazily gazing at her phone. While both were absorbing information, the way in which their brains interacted with it, and the values of their interactions, differed: my mother was thinking, while my sister was merely consuming. Therein lies the difference: the book poses a challenge; the screen offers the answer. While screens and sports are wildly different forms of entertainment, they are united by the societal perception of productivity. The humanities, dying as both a profession and field of interest, are not only regarded as boring, but also useless and valueless in the larger scheme of things. As a society, we crave distraction and busyness, so we gravitate toward physical stimulation and unhealthy forms of psychological stimulation. It is because we underestimate the value of quiet, intellectual activities that we dismiss their importance and allow them to reside in obscurity and mockery. Thus we encourage team sports and, perhaps inadvertently, technological forms of entertainment, but we fail to place a similar emphasis on art forms that excite the mind. 

 

Recently, another close friend of mine remarked that for a long time she didn’t think I actually did many things outside of school. She said this not unkindly, but in a giggly, honest sort of way. I remain unoffended by this observation, as we are both surrounded by people whose very existence is fuelled by the constant rush of team-oriented physical activities. The athletic community is praised for their hard work and accomplishments, but mere artists, those whose thoughts shape their activities, are dismissed, disparaged, confined to invisibility. If we redefine our idea of productivity, or how we perceive diligence and intelligence, we will be able to unite the humanities and the sciences and the athletic departments. 

When paced, physical activity is essential to a healthy lifestyle; likewise, quieter, focused activities are equally essential to balancing out such busyness and for offering their own kind of psychological busyness. Screens, though an integral feature of society, act only as an unhealthy form of stimulation and a distraction from creative pursuits. One of the very reasons why art forms are becoming invisible and unrecognized is because of the belief that they offer very little to the “new world” where our value is determined by distraction in the forms of technology and exercise that is based on material achievement. However, the advancement and the humanity of this society, of ourselves, relies immeasurably on the knowledge we obtain from books and writing and from the great thinkers who redefined what it means to do, or produce, something.

 

 

Hi! My name is Ava and I’m a passionate reader and writer. You can either find me curled up on the couch reading Harry Potter or at my local pilates, barre and yoga studio (or, more realistically, drowning in school work).27

Out of Calamity

Tricia Keith (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Learning to deal with ambiguity is a mighty verse of words. Holding two lines of opposing thoughts at the same time, within the same window of perception, is mighty. How do we continue living our lives to the fullest while watching the shoreline wash away over and over again? Life goes on, and so does ambiguity.

 

Learning to deal with ambiguity is an approach to living that involves your whole person. Two pioneers in the social sciences who have been researching ambiguity and developing treatments and practices to reduce stress and enhance the connections between individuals and strengthen communities are Dr. Pauline Boss and Joanna Macy, Ph.D.  

 

Dr. Pauline Boss, a psychologist, coined the term ambiguous loss in the 1970s. Due to the global forces of COVID-19 and climate change in the last two years, her work is still profoundly relevant. Nearly everyone today is living with some degree of ambiguous loss.

 

With ambiguous loss, there’s really no possibility of closure. Not even, in fact, resolution, whichever word you prefer to use. Therefore, it ends up looking like what the psychiatrists now call “complicated grief.” That is, in fact, a diagnosis, complicated grief. It’s believed that it requires some kind of psychiatric intervention.

 

My point is very different, that ambiguous loss is a complicated loss, which causes, therefore, complicated grief. But it is not pathological. Individually, that is. It’s not a pathological psyche; it’s a pathological situation. As clients frequently say back to me, “Oh, you mean the situation is crazy, not me?” That’s exactly what I mean. – Dr. Pauline Boss, from a 2016 interview on On Being with Krista Tippet

 

Ambiguous loss involves the absence of a person’s physicality but not the psychological connection they have with us or vice versa, the loss of a person’s psychological presence with us, though their physicality remains. Common examples of ambiguous loss can be found in chronic and terminal illness, divorce, aging, parental absence, immigration and addiction. 

 

What is different nowadays is that we have environmental and social forces that none of us can turn away from. These have woken a deep sense of loss for which we have no clear resolution. The despair we feel around climate change, the coronavirus, racial injustice or political polarization, with the attendant secondary losses of trust in our health care systems, police, government, or educational systems create massive, floating, ambient clouds of grief, the presence of which leave many of us feeling both out of control and lost at the same time.

 

That is, if you are not numb to it all. Numbness and avoidance of painful feelings does not mean that you are cold-hearted. It’s simply one way your nervous system protects you. It shuts down the feelz.

 

So, what’s next? Dr. Boss’ therapeutic approach to ambiguous loss involves six guidelines of new perception, through three channels of expression. While it is highly teachable and effective, it is at this point I would like to introduce the work of author, teacher and scholar of Buddhism, systems thinking and deep ecology, Joanna Macy, Ph.D.

 

Macy has spent the last 60 years of her career developing community engagement practices to get us out of the mess we are in without each of us going crazy (one of her books bears a similar title). 

 

Macy’s understanding of our highly evolved inter-connectedness to the world within and around us includes our deep feelings, our deep questions and our deep fears. Her work connects communities in the immensely important opportunity to, as the poet Rainer Maria Rilke wrote, “rise up rooted, like trees,” with compassion (for ourselves and others) and wisdom, seeing the interconnectedness of all life.

 

Macy’s body of work, largely written collaboratively with others, stands rooted under the canopy of her group workshops, The Work That Reconnects: they contain a promise that offers no hesitancy or heroism in their commitment. Applying each person’s authentic intelligence as part of the whole, as well as their emotional states, is fundamental to the community’s ways of uncovering what pains people and developing flexible responses to our world. The creative format she brings, ancient and contemporary, lean community members into systems thinking that connects their feet to the ground, their hearts to one another and the whole of a cell to the whole of our galaxy.

 

If Macy’s work sounds heady and in the clouds, it’s true; she loves theory, though her work is also beautifully playful as well as practical.

 

The Work That Reconnects involves poetry, dancing and systems thinking that mirrors nature. Rational analysis combined with theatrical storytelling speaks to the whole person, with multiple gateways to shift one’s perspective out of calamity and into interconnection, activism and advocacy for a safe and sound world for all living species.

 

Dori Midnight’s artwork below (a gift to Macy) illustrates how the whole can and does sustain us, when the production values of the industrial growth model does not override the wisdom of living for the preservation of seven generations ahead. Sustenance is, rather, a state of wholeness that is not threatened by evolution or diversification. Learning to deal with ambiguity means holding both hands open to complex adaptations, finding new meaning in paradox and rising up resilient over and over again.

 

If you are feeling lost or out of control, I hope this blog post helps in some way, and that you find your interconnection with living and perceptive trees, sky, water and caring people.

 

 

Tricia Keith is passionate about care for the dying, carrying loved ones across and walking alongside those who have passed on. Equally, Tricia is inspired by communities that imprint their wisdom of how to become decent ancestors for future generations.

COVID-19: Season 3

Jihu Lee (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Have you ever been advised to not evaluate your life in the middle of the night when you’re tired? I find myself taking that approach when writing; I typically write in hindsight with a relatively placid mindspace that enables me to talk about the past as if it doesn’t hurt me anymore. But this time, I am breaking my own rule.

 

I just finished my first semester of sophomore year in university. On campus! In person! It felt surreal when my family and I drove from Utah to Los Angeles in August. And I was careful to be grateful for every moment.

 

The thing is, I don’t think the majority of us were prepared enough for the return to “normalcy,” whatever that means now. We did have mask mandates, vaccination requirements and a daily symptom check in place. But I realized quickly that adjusting to society again after a year and a half of isolation was far more difficult than expected, and certainly not one that masks or vaccines could address.

 

Of course, I was thrilled at the prospect of in-person classes and learning from amazing professors as well as finally connecting and reuniting with fellow friends. But I felt like a person learning a new skill all over again. My abilities were still intact, but the motions felt awkward and unfamiliar.

 

There is not a word that will accurately capture the feeling of sudden detachment while in the middle of a conversation with someone. Or when there are approximately 44,000 other students on campus with you and yet you are lonelier than ever. At one point, it felt like I forgot that a normal conversation typically begins with a “hello.” Moreover, the idea of others perceiving not just the upper half of my body on a screen, but my entire self, was so bizarre.

 

We are people desperately craving connection while deeply unsure of how to attain it after missing out on proper socialization during some of our most formative years. 

 

Something that is both comforting and despairing is the fact that nearly everyone is feeling this uncomfortable adjustment. We all seem to be pretending to get along fine and appearing to be in lively social circles, but truthfully, I think most of us are uncertain and lost.

 

Not only are socialization and interpersonal connection difficult, but we are all shouldering our own burdens to begin with. Whether these battles have been a part of our lives since childhood and amplified during the pandemic or newly born from it, the bottom line is that we are already fighting something on our own. To try to build relationships at this time in our discombobulated worlds is not an easy task.

 

We are now in Season 3 of the coronavirus pandemic. I was 18 when we first went into quarantine, and now I am 20. To all of you with bleeding hearts and broken visions for the future — especially to young people waiting to live again — take a moment to be proud of yourselves for making it so far.

 

This experience is not over for me or any of us yet, so it’s challenging to talk about it coherently and neutrally like it’s far behind us now. Despite all that has happened in the past nearly two years so far, I am often at a loss for words to describe it all. But what I do know is that I’m willing myself to move forward, even though I don’t know what I’m doing or how I’m feeling. In fact, most of the time I don’t feel any progress at all, like I’m just a stone in a river as the water rushes past me.

 

I hope that anyone who relates can feel some comfort in knowing that you are not alone. Your feelings are unique to you and are not the same as anyone else’s, but in your struggles and depths of despair, I see you and encourage you to keep going. If it’s hard to feel hopeful, then perhaps let’s not force ourselves to find hope at once. But rather, feel whatever you’re feeling at the moment and acknowledge that.

 

Bit by bit, I want to believe that we will find ourselves again. None of it is easy or as inspirational as a cute quote on the internet. But as the days go by, I remind myself that all I can do at the moment is not give up and keep going forward.

 

 

My name is Jihu, and I’m from Salt Lake City, Utah! I have been with Low Entropy since May 2021. Some of the things I love are reading, writing, listening to music, playing with my dogs and spending time with my sister!

The Last Time

Linda Ng (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

In our busy lives, we easily neglect gratitude. We rush around each day, working hard at our jobs or taking care of our families. We never take the time to appreciate what is around us. Even as I write these words, each minute is ticking by without fail. The time that passes is forever unrecoverable. Time is fluid and does not wait for anyone. Whether you are reading a book or having a great conversation with a friend, the time will keep on passing. Perhaps I was slow to learn just how significant this was, or maybe I was just not worldly enough. As I grow older, time seems to be going at an even faster pace.

 

On my self-improvement journey, I came to a painful realization. Whatever you are doing, it could very well be the last time you are doing it. It doesn’t matter whether the event is happy, difficult or sad. That dinner you had with an old friend? It could have been the last time, because they might soon decide to immigrate to another country to start a new life. What about that time you went to your favourite clothing store? Maybe it was the last time that you’ll ever shop there, because they might be about to close down. All of these events just become parts of our memories.

 

But with this realization, I am still doing the inevitable. I am straying from the present moment. Instead of savouring the moment, my mind is anxious about the past or future. I am thinking about what to cook for dinner or what I have to do for work. I am physically present, but my mind is not. In other words, I am taking everything that is happening for granted. I might be looking at my phone or distracted by something else.

 

Perhaps I expect that I will meet that friend again. Or that I can visit my favourite store at any time. In my mind, I feel that there is no doubt that these events will occur again. I don’t need to focus on what’s happening, or put too much thought into it. Sadly, when I realize that it’s not going to happen again, it is already too late. This creates overwhelming feelings of emptiness and regret.

 

To overcome this, we need to acknowledge and embrace gratitude. We hear people talking about gratitude all the time in the media now. We need to appreciate what we have and treasure the good things in our lives. We don’t do enough of this, at least not intentionally and mindfully.

 

Gratitude makes us appreciate our lives in a whole new way. If I knew I would be seeing my friend for the last time, I would have made sure that we spent quality time together. Instead of just going through mindless motions or letting my mind stray, I would give them my full attention and enjoy a riveting conversation with them. I would be grateful that I had the opportunity to spend this time with them. And it’s the little things that count in life.

 

Maybe it won’t be the very last time that I see them. But by being more intentional about my feelings and actions, I am gaining so much more value from the interaction. The more I treasure them in life, the more grateful I feel. It is a chain reaction. There are so many ways to feel more fulfilled and to be happier. We can start practicing gratitude in our never-ending quest for happiness.

 

As we incorporate feelings of gratitude into our daily lives, we allow ourselves to focus on the positive instead of the negative. We feel a rush of gratefulness over the things that we can enjoy. We have people around us who care for us. This power is more than we can imagine. It’s scary that we will never know the last time anything might occur. Remove the possibility of regret — practice gratitude whenever you can!

 

 

My name is Linda and I’m from Canada! When I’m not writing, I enjoy travelling, playing badminton and spending time with my pets. I have a strong passion for self-improvement and mental health topics. I’m hoping to share that with you here at Low Entropy!

What Gen-Z Needs to Know About Work

Cody Elliot Szaro (he/him/his), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

Years ago, my parents’ generation, Generation X, looked at us with hopeful eyes. Now we’re looking at Generation Z the same way. We were raised in a world on the brink: climate change, corruption, crisis after crisis and the quickening erosion of Western power in geopolitics. We were told it was up to us to fix a world that was already broken. But there’s still hope, still reasons to get up in the morning. As you grow and begin to enter the workforce, there are a few things you need to know about how the world works.

  • Things weren’t always this way, and they won’t stay this way forever.

 

Do away with the idea of your “dream job.” One can enjoy what they do for work, but working was never meant to be your whole life. We all know the story of the worker who spends every waking moment engrossed in their job, only to miss out on life with their partner, their children, their family. Many people don’t dwell on the history of work, known as labor. It has a long, colorful history, but it is and always has been evolving. We began as hunter-gatherers living together in tight-knit communities. Think about our history as a species. What was “work” originally meant for? Survival. Daniel Everett, having studied a group of Amazonian hunter-gatherers, commented on their lifestyle in The Atlantic:

 

“It’s a pretty laid-back life most of the time,” Everett says. He described a typical day for the Pirahã: A man might get up, spend a few hours canoeing and fishing, have a barbecue, go for a swim, bring fish back to his family, and play until the evening. [. . .] Everett estimates that Pirahã adults on average work about 20 hours a week (not to mention without bosses peering over their shoulders). Meanwhile, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the average employed American with children works about nine hours a day.

  • It’s okay to dislike working.

 

Humans worked to secure food and shelter for their families. It was what we evolved to be good at; the life that felt right to us. It’s no wonder that, in modern life, we seek escapes through activities like hiking, camping and hunting. We evolved to excel at these things. Life today is different, and evolution has not had anywhere close to enough time to catch up. As a result, we all feel displaced, wrong. We hate working, and are told that that’s not normal. We work most of our waking hours just to scrape by. There is no dream job, because we were never meant to have jobs as they exist now in the first place.

  • You are not alone.

 

The COVID-19 pandemic has sparked an old flame. It has laid bare the exploitative nature of our society and economy that we seem to forget every few generations. While we hunkered down and suffered through the pandemic, the rich got richer. And the moment it was feasible, they demanded we return to work, to make them richer still. The wealthy do not suffer from catastrophe, and they have little sympathy for those of us who do. It sounds bleak, but the fact that millions are beginning to feel the same about this is evidence to the contrary. In the past, workers uniting against the system led to progress. The bad news is that the wealthy will stop at nothing to resist that progress. If you look back through history, nearly all of the labor laws we enjoy today were written with blood, not ink.

 

At times, the US military, sworn to protect the citizens, killed women and children on US soil, all over striking workers. They don’t teach that to Americans in school. What is a strike? It’s when workers collectively decide to stop working until certain conditions are met. Instead of simply sacrificing a small amount of profit to make the workers happy, corporations will resort to aggression to keep getting richer. Don’t think this is something of the past. Despite declining union membership and increasingly unfair practices, we are still catching glimmers of hope. If any of this sounds far-fetched, just open a history book, it’s all there. That’s not to say there aren’t two sides to every story; unions themselves have a complex history and haven’t always been blameless.

  • Educate yourself and others, and fight for what’s right.

 

The first step to change is education. Know your rights! Things like food and shelter are human rights. We should never stop fighting for total freedom because we’ve gained some ground. Every time we grow complacent with our liberties, some of them get taken away. If you take anything away from this at all, remember this: this is not “how the world works.” The current state of things is an invention, created by those with great wealth, wherein they ask you to work constantly so that they don’t have to work much at all. The tale of rags-to-riches is a myth. Your grandparents did have it easy compared to you. With each successive generation, we are told to accept the status quo. But if you don’t, great change is possible. That change isn’t easy, and you may decide it isn’t worth the trouble. But you deserve to know that there is a choice to be made.

 

 

Cody Elliot Szaro is an American writer with a passion for wildlife, the environment, and the struggles of working people the world over.

 

My Cross-Cultural Experiences

Neema Ejercito (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

My first cross-cultural experience was when my family and I moved to Hong Kong from the Philippines when I was in Grade 7. I remember looking across the school playground during recess with a new Malaysian-Danish friend (who became one of my best friends) and finding it amazing that, in my classroom alone, so many different cultures were represented. My best friend alone represented at least three, with Hong Kong culture being one of them, since she lived there for a couple of years already.

 

I remember feeling overwhelmed with the opportunities that our move opened. For example, instead of choosing among the top three universities in the Philippines to go to after high school, I could now choose among the universities in the U.S.! That’s where my international school was prepping students to apply. I was not only overwhelmed with the differences in cultures geographically: the popular culture that I had only read about in Sweet Dreams or Sweet Valley High became my reality.

 

In my experience growing up in the Philippines, one was popular because they were smart, sporty or active in a student council. Wanting so much to be popular in my new environment, I actually studied how the cool kids wore their hair, talked and spent their weekends, and the list went on and on. There was too much to keep in mind, but I kept trying.

 

Fast-forward to my next cross-cultural experience in Japan, when I won an exchange program scholarship to study there for a year during my last year in university in the Philippines. I had found the exchange program at the student affairs office of the university. I had come home after high school graduation in Hong Kong feeling the itch to travel again.

 

After receiving the scholarship, I was again excited by the thought of living in a different country and learning about different cultures, but also being immersed in a more homogenous culture than Hong Kong. In high school I learned Mandarin and Spanish, but in Japan I focused on Japanese. I was initially going to study sociology there, in connection with my university major, social sciences. After a week of classes, however, I felt that I would maximize my immersion into Japanese culture by focusing on the language. When I took the language aptitude test so that the school would know which class level to place me, I found that, because of my Mandarin background, I could understand the meanings of Japanese kanji. Building on my language background, I felt I could use my language skills in Mandarin to give myself a leg up on my beginner Japanese. As a result, I was actually placed in the intermediate class.

 

Although I was doing well academically, my socio-cultural experience suffered. Having experienced a popularity failure in high school, I embarked on being popular in my new cross-cultural experience. By the time the year was over and it was time for me to go home, I had hurt a lot of people, including myself. It took years of accepting that the one year in Japan wasn’t my lifelong reality, and that I had to move on. I found many years later, when I watched Leonardo DiCaprio in The Beach, that my Japan experience was acutely similar to his character’s Thailand experience.

 

I have since lived in San Francisco and traveled to so many other countries aside from the ones I previously mentioned. Some of the more unusual places I’ve been to are Iceland and Machu Picchu. In the year before the pandemic hit, I actually traveled to four different countries: France, the U.S., Japan, and the UAE.

 

When my family and I moved to Vancouver in April last year, I felt very confident about my openness to another cross-cultural experience. I was mistaken. Let me try to explain it by what people have told me about their experiences with the weather. I thought that my new friends who had recently moved from Calgary and from Korea didn’t have to adjust to the cold like me. But they both described different ways of feeling the cold weather from where they came from. Cold weather wasn’t the same for everyone across the board. Similarly, my cross-cultural experiences weren’t necessarily a one-size-fits-all adjustment, especially since my move here now involves me as a mother and wife. This is so different from when I was a teen or a single adult.

 

I also took for granted that speaking English well meant that I wouldn’t really need such a big cross-cultural adjustment here. I am still making sense of my adjustment, and oftentimes it gets complicated with the pandemic, the weather and, basically, life as I know it. There have been days I find myself hating this muddled period that doesn’t move according to my preferred timeline. But perhaps this seeming lack of clarity is what I’ve got to accept so that I can keep moving forward.

 

Neema Ejercito is a professional writer, director and creative writing mentor. Her 3D edutainment series for beginning readers, AlphaBesties, is showing in YouTube Japan and Prairie Kids. When she’s not writing or mentoring, she manages her household with her very supportive husband and three children.

The Disappearance of Rituals

Raghavi (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Growing up in a Hindu family, there were a lot of rituals. It was part and parcel of our religion and culture, and was embedded in our day to day life. They covered birth to death and everything in between. Most of them had been passed down for generations. There were also some more recent additions, like squishing limes under the tires of a new car before driving it for the first time, for good luck — I always wonder how that particular one came about. As a child I observed my parents as they carried these rituals out, making us participate along with them, and I put it down to one more thing they made us do. My younger, impatient self was not very interested in these things, favouring my western books and TV. We rarely discussed the meaning and significance behind them; I am not sure how much my parents knew or even understood themselves. Now, as an adult, I am no longer dismissive of these practices, and I am interested in learning and understanding more. It intrigues me how these rituals — not just the ones belonging to my culture, but rituals from all over the world — came into being and managed to survive the passage of time. 

 

When my father died unexpectedly, we had a traditional funeral for him. At that time, overcome by grief, I just wanted to grieve in private and not have to go through the very public process that is a Hindu funeral. Some of the rituals that involved my newly widowed mother were cruel, and watching grown men argue over my father’s dead body about the order in which certain rites were to be performed filled me with unspeakable anger. But looking back now, the many other rituals helped me achieve a sense of closure. Death, especially when it is sudden, is hard to grasp. With those rituals, we marked the end of his life and the passing of his soul, and moved a step further in our grieving process. 

 

Now having moved from the East to the West, I am far away from the culture I grew up in, and with the distance it is easy to forget the rituals of my childhood. It is not easy to carry out these rituals alone, without your elders to guide you. Some of them feel pointless in the absence of family and friends. However, while I have lost touch with some rituals, I have also gained some new ones. I have adopted rituals like putting up a tree and decorating the house with lights every year for Christmas. These help me celebrate the gloomy winter months, and embrace and settle into my home here. 

 

Rituals mark moments in our lives, both big and small. They are an opportunity to slow down and reflect. A way to say thank you, like our harvest festival growing up, and Thanksgiving here. A time to celebrate family and friends, like Diwali and Christmas.  As our lives become increasingly fast-paced, we have less time for our rituals. Some rituals are better off being forgotten; we can leave the not-so-nice ones and carry forward the better ones. 

 

Rituals are not just associated with religions and cultures. They can also be the things we do for ourselves. A warm bath at the end of a hard week of work. The tea I make myself every morning that is pure comfort in a mug. Journaling. It is so easy to forget them as we hurtle through life, trying to juggle everything on our to-do lists, but we must make sure to make time for these rituals. These are the most important ones, the ones that we must make time for in order to cherish ourselves, to celebrate ourselves, to recharge ourselves in order to keep going and to find the best version of ourselves.

 

 

Leave your thoughts for Raghavi in the comments below better yet, start up a dialogue with the Low Entropy community in person at a Conscious Connections meeting or online at our community site. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and YouTube to stay up-to-date with Low Entropy news!

Cultural Thing

Olivia Callari (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Does anyone truly know the meaning of culture? Surely, when asked about our own, the idea feels as familiar as the back of one’s hand. Culture surrounds us, it is us and it becomes us.

 

When culture is rooted within us, regardless of how we came to be immersed in it, it is appreciated and held with a high level of pride. With this pride can come infinite possibilities, both good and bad. A deep love for one’s culture and being connected through it can revive those who feel lost and disillusioned. It can mend the broken and help them carry on for years and years. But it can also be like asking a patriotic person what they think about their country. Their response might be “I love my country,“ but when questioned about the controversial issues about it, their response would simply remain that they love their country. 

 

Is it common for us to love our cultures without recognizing and holding them accountable for their negative aspects? This was a question I had lingering in my mind for years and years while growing up in a rather traditional Italian culture. I have so much love and pride for my community and my roots, but there were many things that made me itch my head and wonder how they could be played off as part of the culture and tradition.

 

The main thing I wondered about the most was the excusing of hurtful behaviour amongst members of my family. Time and time again I witnessed many fights and many hurtful things being said, as well as some physicality every once in a while. While re-reading this, I heard the little voice in my head say, “Yeah, but that’s how Italians are.”

 

As I began my path to healing, once and for all, it was time to face the parts of me and traumas that I had neglected because I was conditioned to believe the behaviours that caused them were just a “cultural thing.” It was so embedded in me to attribute those behaviours to my culture that I had, in fact, developed a resentment towards it. I wasn’t able to separate my relatives’ individual actions from my culture.

 

With the need to separate from the people who made me feel unsafe, sad and afraid around them came great backlash. I was made to seem unfit to ever be a proper “Italian woman.” I was seen as weak because I chose to appreciate my culture in my own way after healing. 

 

The only regret I had was not knowing sooner that I could be happy in my culture by allowing myself to interpret it my own way. By detaching myself from a cycle of excusing my emotions in the name of culture, I found myself appreciating it even more.

 

 

Olivia is a film and television certificate student at NYU Tisch and a recent graduate from Dawson College in cinema and communications. Having grown up in Montreal, Quebec, Olivia has surrounded herself with different cultures and means of creative expression, with hopes to one day incorporate it into her film and television work. Through writing and other forms of artistic expression, Olivia has a natural desire to help others overcome their inhibitions and reach their fullest potential.

New Again: Overcoming Culture Shock

Grace Cheng (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Coming to a new country is daunting and overwhelming. It is normal to experience culture shock, because suddenly you are confronted with a different culture, language, customs, gestures, signs and symbols. People who are not afraid of change have an easier time adjusting to it.

 

In the beginning, it may be difficult for newcomers who must establish new support systems. How long culture shock lasts depends on how well the person can adjust to the new country.

 

Having immigrated to Canada, I had to adjust to paying sales taxes and tips, as neither were required in Hong Kong. My biggest cultural adjustment at school was learning to speak up, because it counted for participation marks. In my hometown, students were not encouraged to speak as often, and there was more deference to authority. In Canada, I was expected to speak up and contribute a lot. My teachers told me they hoped to hear me speak more frequently in class. This was challenging for me since I was an introvert, in addition to being raised with that aspect of Chinese culture.

 

Initially, I was also unaccustomed to small talk, since it was not common for people to converse with strangers on the streets of Hong Kong. I learned that because small-talk topics were light and uncontroversial, they provided a safe environment for people to assess your comfort level and find common ground for conversations.

 

Tips to overcome culture shock:

 

  1. Remember that culture shock is normal

 

Keep in mind that most newcomers and immigrants will experience culture shock. As soon as you get over your culture shock, you will be able to look back with fond memories of your new culture and country. You will be glad that you can live in a different country and experience a different custom and culture.

 

  1. Be open-minded

 

Embracing new experiences is one of the most effective ways to overcome culture shock. By learning and respecting a new culture, you will grow and appreciate new perspectives on life. If you converse with people from different cultures and backgrounds, you will broaden your horizons. Consider attending parties and events, eating food from other cultures, making new friends and inviting friends to your home.

 

  1. Learn the language

 

When you learn the local language and understand what the locals are saying, you will experience less culture shocks.  Your efforts in speaking the local language will make your life easier and will make the locals appreciate your efforts.

 

  1. Learn how the locals live 

 

You will be able to adjust to a new country and overcome culture shock more quickly if you familiarize yourself with local customs and behaviors.

 

  1. Expand your social circle

 

Make new friends from different cultures and backgrounds to broaden your social circle. Taking part in neighborhood activities, community events and meetup groups are good ways to meet new people.

 

  1. Explore the city

 

See what your new city has to offer. Take public transportation to visit different places every day and act like a tourist. When you visit new places, bring your camera with you and take pictures. During this process, you might discover a faster route to take home from work, learn about a new relaxing spot or capture an interesting photo that can be shared with your family and friends.

 

  1. Find a new hobby

 

Consider finding a new hobby, such as hiking, walking in the park, visiting art galleries and museums, or taking recreational courses. When life becomes stressful and difficult, these activities will help you cope with culture shock and cheer you up.

 

Remember that culture shock is a normal reaction newcomers experience when arriving in a foreign country. It can serve as an opportunity for you to become more aware of your own culture, as well as the new culture that you have accepted.

 

— 

 

Grace has an accounting and finance background. She enjoys reading, writing, listening to music, watching movies and playing sports.

From Manila to Alberta

Julia Magsombol (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

I was reading some news about immigration, and it stunned me how there are so many people from different countries wanting to live here in Alberta, Canada. Canada opened its doors to over 400,00 new permanent residents in 2021. I wonder why so many people wanted to live here. Did they have the same reason as my family? 

 

Almost eight years ago, my family and I packed our things and left the Philippines to move to Alberta. I was never part of the decision to move here. It was a huge decision that both my parents made for me and my siblings. 

 

My aunt sponsored my family. I never really cared about immigration applications, but I knew that it took many years and effort for us to validly live here. I tend to question my parents and even our fellow immigrants in choosing this path. Why this? 

 

When my family and I were starting out in Canada, it was a difficult time for all of us. My parents’ life completely changed in Alberta. They were both homesick, but for the sake of our future, they persevered and stayed here. They had the strength to stay in this strange country for us, their kids. 

 

My life completely changed when I moved into our new home as well. I remember one incident that I will never forget. After two months in Canada, I started going to school. Everything was new to me, including the system, the people and the culture. I was like a lost kid who was trying to find her mom, but couldn’t. What was more annoying was that I couldn’t talk about this loneliness to my parents because we were all adjusting to this new place. 

 

At school, there were times when I would sit in front of the lockers or inside the washroom all by myself and stay there for a very long time just to kill time before classes started. I would get lost on my way home too, because I would take the wrong bus. I had no one to talk with about all those things, and I wish I did during those times. 

 

I believe that there are two types of loneliness: the kind that we choose, and the kind that we don’t.

 

During those times, it wasn’t my choice to be alone. I didn’t want to be alone, especially when I needed to talk to somebody.

 

But not long ago, I found friends. In all honesty, they were people I wouldn’t think I could be friends with, but I felt comfort and relief. That was enough, and I felt happy. 

 

When I moved to Alberta, I wanted to be someone else, someone better. As my friendships developed, I found myself changing in the most bizarre ways. They weren’t changes that I wanted to because of my own will; they were changes that I needed because of other people, and perhaps their acceptance. Those changes were not good. I felt far from not only my home or my family, but also from myself. 

 

As I spent more time with my friends, I changed the way I dressed and spoke. I changed my attitude and the things I liked. I spent less time with my family. 

 

My mother started to get frustrated with the new me and how I spent more time with other people. I felt guilty then, because I knew that she was also trying to adjust to everything, yet I was ignoring her. Still, I didn’t listen to her,  only to myself.  

 

My mother’s frustrations grew bigger, and we would fight constantly. I have always guessed that she never understood me and how I felt lonely all the time. I said words that I should not have in those fights, because I knew how hurtful they were to my mother. I hurt her a lot. 

 

One day, when I came home late in the winter, I found my mother crying in the living room. The lights were off, and it was very dark. I went to her and asked her what had happened. She wouldn’t say. 

 

I wondered if my dad was fired from his job, or my siblings were bullied at their school, or maybe she was frustrated because she couldn’t find a job. I couldn’t guess. 

 

Then my mother suddenly reached for me and hugged me. It had been a long time since she hugged me, and it felt odd how her hands were so rough. Her tears fell onto my face, and I wanted to pull away from her. But she hugged me so tightly that I couldn’t move. 

 

Still crying, my mother told me that her grandma had just died. She said that she couldn’t do anything. She couldn’t go home because we’d only been in Alberta for two months. It wouldn’t be ideal to go back to our home country and spend a lot more money when our new lives were still not settled. 

 

I wanted to cry in that moment, but I knew I had been so selfish. I only listened to myself and my feelings, but not my mother or the rest of my family. My feelings were valid, but I should have at least cared for my family too. I knew they felt lonely like me. 

 

I couldn’t do anything, but I reached for my mother and hugged her too. I felt some comfort, and maybe a hug was all we needed. 

 

From that winter onwards, everything indeed changed. I changed, and so did my perspective. My parents changed. My siblings changed. Our lives changed. But I know one thing: our relationship with each other never changed. Though we all felt somewhat estranged, we were still warm. 

 

 

Julia Magsombol is currently a journalism student from Edmonton, Canada, who desires to bring hope to people through her writing. When not writing or reading, you can catch her sewing clothes, painting nature and drinking instant coffee.

The Colours of Rain

Susan Turi (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

© 2022 Susan Turi

 

I am classified as a white person somewhere in a file and in someone’s mind. But to be honest, I don’t know what it is to be white beyond the biological colour of my skin. I have been told that I have a culture related to being white, which is of European ancestry. If I am left-leaning politically, I may think of my white culture as privileged, politically and economically entitled, and elitist. I may have white guilt. If I am politically right-leaning, I may have a favourable opinion of my white culture and feel superior and insulated, yet insecure in my white bubble. But then my inherited generational tastes, as well as access to social and news media, may suggest more subjective, varied labels on me related to whiteness, ranging from tastes in music — as in generally liking rock, classical or country music — to traits such as being a bad dancer and liking bland food. As there is a white culture, there is black culture, summed up in words such as economical marginalization, hip hop music, slavery and Black Lives Matter. But as I am white, my everyday experience is lived through my skin colour, and I can only try to step out of it from time to time to analyze my whiteness, and imagine what it’s like to belong to a different race. Labeling people according to their race is such a reflexive impulse in society that it is easy to never question the origins of this habit. I do it myself, and in writing this article, I had a hard time selecting the right words to use, as the issue of ethnicity and race is emotionally charged. But in order to put this analysis in context and diffuse the emotion, I needed to trace the history of race and its normalized reference points.

 

The meaning of the word “race” — which is the classification of a group of people and their customs based on physical traits like skin colour and hair texture — dates from the colonial period, according to Wikipedia:

 

The modern concept of race emerged as a product of the colonial enterprises of European powers from the 16th to 18th centuries which identified race in terms of skin colour and physical differences. This way of classification would have been confusing for people in the ancient world since they did not categorize each other in such a fashion.[46] In particular, the epistemological moment where the modern concept of race was invented and rationalized lies somewhere between 1730 and 1790.

 

If the designation of race is an inherited colonial concept based on physical traits, then associating a culture to it must serve to legitimize this artificial categorization, which is further explained by Wikipedia: 

 

Modern science regards race as a social construct, an identity which is assigned based on rules made by society.[2] While partially based on physical similarities within groups, race does not have an inherent physical or biological meaning.

 

But as I am neither an anthropologist nor a sociologist, all I have to go on to understand racial and cultural labels is my natural curiosity, and an admission of confusion about them.

 

The issue of race and race relations has been spoken and written about exhaustively throughout post-colonial times, and I am in no position to contribute any new sophisticated arguments to the discussion. But I continue to question labels like black and white and the need to assign cultures to them. As a white person, I am still clueless as to what it means to be white, let alone identify with the culture assigned to me, as I don’t define myself in such narrow terms. My tastes and beliefs are open to development, though I acknowledge my current preferences. I listen to all types of music except maybe country, I grew up eating homemade ethnic dishes, I attended an art and dance school, and my maternal grandfather was a French Mauritian from the island of Mauritius. But no one would ever know this unless I told them so. I am perhaps an exception to the cliche of white culture, but like everyone else, it is suggested that, because of my skin colour, I must follow a cultural stereotype and bear the burden of it. What if the term “white culture” — or any racial culture — as the social construct that it is, does not exist and is a catchphrase used for a hidden agenda?

 

When I was a child, I lived through the Soweto riots of 1976 in apartheid-era South Africa. I remember there was minimal media coverage at the time. It was only many years later,after leaving the country and its censorship, that I found out what it was all about — the identification of a language as a symbol of white oppression and a rebellion against it. Afrikaans was the official language of the white Afrikaner minority government of the racially divided country. A law was passed to make schools use Afrikaans in equal amounts as English in segregated black schools, which led to the Soweto township riots. But there exists a paradox in that Afrikaans was and is also the dominant language of the mixed-race descendants of Malaysian slaves and indigenous San and Hottentot tribes, known as the Cape Malays. To associate their language with white oppression, under which they were also living, was confusing to them. English was also an imposed colonial white language and infringed on indigenous languages, yet it rarely felt oppressive to the majority since English was the language of business and a gateway to the democratic world (which the fatigued yet pragmatic majority understood and accepted).

 

This is an example of how a component of a culture — a language — can be confused with race, leading to marginalization of groups, in this case the Cape Malays, who were seen at the time of the riots as white sympathizers. But South Africa was and continues today to be a culturally rich blend of languages, culinary imports and customs, despite its legacy of apartheid. The Afrikaans language itself is a potage of Dutch, Malaysian and local Bantu dialects, whether the white oppressors of the apartheid era acknowledged it or not. Traditional South African dishes like bobotie pie — a meat dish of Malaysian origin — has been enjoyed by all national ethnicities, which brings me back to the same question of whether a simplistic racial culture can exist if there is so much genetic and cultural diversity in modern societies?

 

A population and its culture, as a prism of many reflected colours and flavours, is just like light split into a spectrum by rain — far more complex than its appearance. People cannot be summed up in a crude, minimalist way and assigned a culture according to their skin colour. In addition, it can be easy to confuse racial struggles with class and sexual inequalities. Racial culture expands on the idea of an individual ethnicity with a symbolistic, invasive mindset. It is time to put racial labels like “white” and “black” and their “cultures” into their historical context where they belong, as they are reductionist, divisive and unhelpful in moving toward a more inclusive society. Even if society continues to habitually categorize its population according to shared customs, tastes and ethnicities for convenience’s sake (as I was compelled to do when writing this article, for lack of better words), racially labeling people limits social progress. Just as there was a sexual revolution, maybe there needs to equally be a racial revolution. We have no choice in the inherited colour of our skin or other physical traits, but we can choose to create stronger communities free from racial labels — communities enriched by their diversity and judged by their collective and individual deeds. To quote Sidney Potier, “I never had an occasion to question colour, therefore I only saw myself as what I was . . . a human being.” 

 

References: 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Race_(human_categorization) 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soweto_uprising 

https://www.inspiringquotes.us/author/6037-sidney-poitier 

 

 

Susan Turi is a writer, illustrator and painter living in Montreal, Canada with a degree in fine arts. She began her career as a production artist for design studios and ad agencies, before deciding to devote herself purely to self-expression through writing and painting. She is currently at Concordia University majoring in creative writing and English literature.

How I Banished Imposter Syndrome

Linda Ng, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer 

 

I have never felt more like a fraud in my life. Today, I completed my 200-hour yoga course. I am now the proud owner of a yoga teacher certificate. That means that I am qualified to teach yoga. Honestly, it feels great. I am proud of this accomplishment. But on the inside, I feel terrified. What do I do with this certificate? Can I stand in front of a group of people and lead them through a complete yoga sequence, correctly naming all the yoga asanas in Sanskrit? Just this very thought drenches me in sweat! It is a typical case of imposter syndrome.

 

If you have never experienced imposter syndrome before, it is a bad case of self-doubt. Although I have been certified, I do not believe that I have the necessary skills. Despite my accomplishments, there are still feelings of incompetence and uncertainty. Fortunately, I have had these feelings before. I recognize it when the symptoms manifest. Through experience, I have narrowed down some ways to banish imposter syndrome. They may not work for everyone, but they might make a good starting point.

 

Write Out Achievements

There is just something about the act of writing. It somehow allows you to focus more effectively and holds you accountable. Start this by listing all your achievements. Before you know it, you are looking at a list of accomplishments that you can admire. Instead of focusing on negativity and self-doubt, you can focus on all of your achievements. These accomplishments show your hard work and highlight your competence.

 

Focus on Your Accomplishments 

An effective way of banishing those nagging self-doubts is to focus on the positives and accomplishments. Although I feel like a fraud, I legitimately completed all the course modules and passed the tests and assignments. I received a passing mark and a certificate to mark my achievement. I didn’t cheat or pretend to know the answers. 

 

Avoid Comparison

It is natural human behaviour to compare yourself to others. Other people always have something better, while we are always inferior. It is easy to gravitate towards negativity. There will never be an end to the comparison because what we have is never enough. Each person is a unique individual. Comparing yourself to others holds no merit and throws you down a deep rabbit hole.

 

Talk to Others

It is almost always beneficial to talk to someone about your concerns. Tell them you feel like a fraud and share your worries. It does not have to be a formal therapy session. It can be a casual conversation with a trusted family member or a close friend. Gaining a new perspective is often a great way to guide you to positive enlightenment about your situation. 

 

Visualize Your Success

Instead of focusing on the negative, we can use the principles of manifestation and visualization, and perhaps even the law of attraction. Instead of imagining my awkward embarrassment in front of a yoga class, I can start by envisioning success and a sense of accomplishment. Every time a negative thought comes by, turn it into a positive one. Attract positivity. It is simply a process of training your mind, and that is the first step. 

 

Consider Worst-Case Scenarios 

Try imagining the absolute worst scenario in each case. When you drill down into the details, you can see how ridiculous you have been. If I say something wrong in the yoga class, will a student leave the class and ask for a refund? Will they shout at me, voicing their displeasure? Likely not. I might be a little flustered, but I will learn from my experience. When you keep thinking about the worst thing that could happen, it will be evident that your fears have been unfounded. 

 

Transform Thoughts, Feelings and Behaviour

In cognitive behavioural therapy, the premise is that our thoughts translate to feelings, which translate to behaviour. It is also true the other way around. If you use positive associations to reinforce behaviour, you can positively affect your thoughts.

 

No matter what method you use to rid yourself of imposter syndrome, understand that self-doubt and incompetence are useless feelings. They serve no purpose. We need to believe in ourselves and remove self-doubt. Attract confidence and success. 

 

 

My name is Linda and I’m from Canada! When I’m not writing, I enjoy travelling, playing badminton and spending time with my pets. I have a strong passion for self-improvement and mental health topics. I’m hoping to share that with you here at Low Entropy!

The Next Big Thing

Max Rodriguez (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

You are meant to be big. Do you see those people on TV? That is going to be you one day . . .

 

Those are pretty words. I’m not saying that the person who is reading this doesn’t have the chance to become The Next Big Thing, but can we talk about this?

 

There must be people out there who want to change the world, and there might also be a good number of individuals who want and deserve to be seen. I hope that they find their voice and God have mercy on them, because rising up through society is a hard thing to do.

 

The people we admire are the product of two things: hard work and opportunity. But let me tell you that the people up there might not be having a blast like the world thinks they are having. The ladder to success is built mostly with tears, sacrifice, rejection, quitting, trying again, giving up, changing your mind, ups, downs, betrayal, help and a lot of patience. You are going against the flow, the status quo, and people may not like that. People are often not kind to new things.

 

You may have a goal in your life. But you might also feel self-conscious because your life is not like others’. Maybe you were having a great time playing video games with your friends, and then ruined your night because you found out that girl from high school is at a big party or that dude you met is the CEO of a company. And you might think that if you were them instead, you would be happier or your life would be better, but . . . everyone has problems. That girl might have been kicked out of her house or that CEO might have alcoholism issues. Those are stories we don’t like to share on Instagram.

 

I’ve been there. There was just this constant urge to be perfect. I felt a lot of eyes on me and many people saying, “You are so talented,” “I believe in you,” “I see your name in the rolling credits of the big screen” . . . even though those were warm and motivating things to say, they put so much pressure on me. Suddenly I felt like I was running out of time, like I was getting too old to become a filmmaker (I’m 20, lol). I stopped being a human and became a machine that didn’t sleep and only worked, someone who was always at everybody’s service except my own. I collapsed and became depressed, but those words fueled me to keep pushing and hurting myself for no reason . . . why?

 

I just wanted to make films! My theory is that my passion convinced everyone that I was shooting for the stars. But right now I work at my college, and I can’t be happier: I have the chance to work in a good environment and take a break from the pressure of trying to join the film industry. I was warned that being a filmmaker was not going to be easy. But my dream was not to become the Next Big Thing, it was just to be behind a camera doing whatever had to be done to keep the show going.

 

Don’t feel pressured. Be happy, do things that make you, you. When I had my crisis, everyone left my side. But now that I’m recovering and feeling like myself again, people are comfortable around me, and it’s cool because I feel genuine and real. I swear that if you are meant to be something big, the best way to do so is by enjoying who you are and not comparing yourself to others. Take chances, but also be patient and trust the process. And if you’re not meant to go viral worldwide, don’t feel bad . . . who wants to be judged by everyone all the time? You don’t have to be The Next Big Thing to be special, and don’t let anyone force you to be big, because that is not what success means.

 

 

Max Rodriguez is a Colombian and Canadian who is an unstoppable artist with a strong passion for filmmaking.

 

Change Your Attitude, Change Your Future

Lori Stevenson (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

You know those days where you oversleep, then have a terrible morning where everything just seems to go wrong? It sets the precedent for the day — things just continue to spiral downward. Then there are days where you wake up smiling, with a spring in your step, and you own the entire day. Coincidence? Millions of people, and science, say no.

 

We are bombarded with positive thinking quotes, and for good reason. It has been repeatedly shown that a positive outlook facilitates positive results. Henry Ford nailed it — “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.” Maybe that sounds like wishful thinking, but let’s take a closer look. If you honestly think that you can’t land that job, write that book or get a date with that cute barista at your favorite coffee shop — are you going to even try? Probably not. Those with a positive attitude approach challenges with confidence in themselves and their abilities — they will at least try. This doesn’t guarantee their success by any means, but they have a much better chance than someone who approaches a challenge with their inner voice saying “You can’t.”

 

The good news is that it is fairly easy to change your outlook and become more positive. All you need is some mindful intention. Here are some simple tips that you can add into your day.

 

Intentionally Increase Your Positive Thoughts

 

There is a good reason why almost any research you do into happiness, positive thinking or success will yield a common denominator — gratitude. The benefits of gratitude have been extolled as far back as the ancient philosophers Plato, Epicurus, Cicero and Epictetus, to name a few. Gratitude has been shown to increase happiness, which in turn increases positive behavior. It engages the prefrontal cortex of the brain, the area responsible for feelings like accomplishment and associated with the arrangement of thoughts and actions in accordance with internal goals

 

Employ a daily practice of gratitude — you can choose to journal these thoughts, or just acknowledge them mentally. I choose the mental option, highlighting three things that I am grateful for each day. If you are having trouble thinking of unique things daily, make it fun and easy by finding a theme. I like alphabetical — starting with A and working your way through to Z, every day think of three things you are grateful for that begin with that day’s letter. Other themes I have used are the five senses, different decades of my life and different areas of life, such as personal, family, professional and social. There are endless things to be grateful for!

 

To further strengthen your positive thoughts, you can also try daily mantras and inspirational quotes — there is an abundance online — or look to positive folks in your life for support and inspiration. 

 

Watch Your Internal Language

 

In line with Henry Ford’s quote above, language matters. Listen to your internal dialogue and look for opportunities to show yourself empathy or reframe a situation. Do you have a fixed mindset, where what is, is, and can not be changed? Or do you have a growth mindset, where what is may be changed or improved? Recently a colleague introduced me to the “power of yet.” This is incredibly effective in making the jump from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. I’m working on teaching myself Spanish — it is difficult and at times frustrating, but I keep telling myself that I’m not fluent yet. The next time you are up against a challenge, switch that internal dialogue from “I don’t know how to do that” to “I don’t know how to do that yet, but I can work on improving my skills.” You’ll be surprised how that simple tweak will serve you. 

 

Look for the Lesson or Opportunity

 

Maya Angelou once said “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” Positive, successful people focus on what they have influence over or can control and learn to let go of what they cannot. Think of being stuck in traffic. No one likes to be there — we have better places to be and things to be doing. It can immediately give rise to feelings of anger and frustration, maybe even helplessness. These feelings do nothing to change your situation, but effectively ruin your previous good mood, and perhaps the rest of your day. Instead, try looking for the opportunity that this may present. Maybe it gives you time to have a good conversation with your travel companion(s). Take out your phone and dictate your shopping list or your thoughts for the big meeting you have coming up. Tune out by tuning in to a great podcast or audio book. Reflect on your day. Do a body scan meditation. You are going to be stuck in traffic no matter what you do — would you rather be miserable, or peaceful and maybe even productive? The same mindset serves in those instances where you have tried something and were not successful. Instead of focusing on what went wrong or what you didn’t achieve, think instead of what you’ve learned — about yourself, others or the process. What could you do differently next time? This is growth, and it always breeds success.

 

Finally, being positive does not mean living in denial of the negative aspects of life — these things do exist, and we face them on a regular basis. Positivity enables us to manage those instances better, by acknowledging that they are part of us, but don’t define us, bringing hope and optimism that even the worst of times will improve.

 

Life is truly what you make it – what do you want to make yours?

 

 

My name is Lori Stevenson and I am a management professional living in the beautiful Okanagan. In my spare time I enjoy reading, writing, yoga, teaching myself Spanish and walking my dogs. I am pleased to share my ideas, thoughts and knowledge here with the Low Entropy community!

Don’t Forget

Nour Saqqa, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

We all want to own better quality items, eat the highest quality foods and live happier, more meaningful and balanced days. Some of us even want to take a step into the extraordinary yet, we don’t want to face the experiences we often label as “failures” instead of challenges.

 

These failures remind us of what we believe went wrong in our lives, the emotions we try to avoid and the thoughts we would rather not relive. So, many of us choose to leave the past where we believe it belongs: in the past. What if, instead, we looked at these challenging experiences as dips masked, invaluable growth opportunities that we can benefit from when we learn to ask the right questions? A lot could happen, including giving ourselves a chance to discover the full potential of our past and invaluable lessons that can help us create a more prosperous present and future.

 

Don’t just learn to face and make peace with your past. Learn to value questioning it especially those experiences we label as “failures” before you choose to move on.

 

But how do we ask the right questions? And what can we discover from doing this? 

 

Asking the right questions begins with having the right mindset: the right set of attitudes or beliefs about yourself. When you have a fixed mindset, you believe that your failure is a dead end. You see that you tried. You didn’t get the results you wanted. And you think you only lost time and can’t move forward. Your focus on the outcome clouds your ability to learn from what happened. 

 

That’s one way to look at the world. But, like everything else in life, there is also another way. It’s called viewing the event from a growth mindset. When you have this mindset, you think you’re capable of growth and development. You don’t fear failure, and you’re not hesitant to take risks to advance personally or professionally. Unlike those with a fixed mindset, you see opportunities and challenges instead of obstacles. As a result, you allow yourself to learn from your experiences, especially those that did not yield the results you wanted.

 

Once you believe you can learn a lot from these experiences, you develop the foundation needed to navigate them and uncover valuable lessons that can help you grow and become more knowledgeable and resilient. With a proper foundation, you can now begin the second most crucial part of learning to ask the right questions: reflection with the intent to go beyond the obvious and superficial reasons leading to your undesirable results.

 

Here are three questions to guide you on your journey to becoming more skilled at asking the right questions:

 

  1. Did I set myself up for failure or success?
  2. Did I understand and firmly believe in my “why”?
  3. Did I have a detailed and efficient plan? And did I follow it or change it when necessary?

 

When used well, asking these questions will help you learn more about how you think and how you can think more deeply. And writing your responses can help you find more clarity, especially since this task is viewed as a thinking tool.

 

No matter how you think more deeply about these experiences, you will also learn more about yourself and who you want to become. And you will also become more aware of the following:

 

  • Weaknesses and hidden strengths that you can strengthen
  • Unhealthy habits you need to break and healthy habits you need to build
  • Distractions taking up your time
  • Unhealthy relationships that hold you back
  • Healthy relationships that help you thrive

 

The more of the right questions you ask, the more meaningful answers you’ll get. Like reading and writing and team-building, asking the right questions is a skill that requires lots of deliberate practice. Reflecting on your past “failures” can help you develop this skill. 

 

So, instead of moving past your challenges, face them and embrace them for what they offer. Some of them will introduce you to reservoirs of strength, others to courage. Each dip is a bump on the road, not a dead end. If you don’t reexamine your past, you will never know what you missed.

 

 

Nour Saqqa is a Toronto-based writer, editor and purpose-driven communications professional. When she is not at work or volunteering, she’s either on LinkedIn Learning or creating new products for DM Tees Designs, her eco-friendly business on Etsy.

(looking back to believing forward)

RCP, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

A long night’s road trip. This is called life.

 

We have no recollection of when we began riding, but the facticity of it is peculiar and beyond doubt. This is called our condition. 

 

In this drive under nightfall, most of life is hidden mystery. Our headlights and taillights brighten a small area immediately around us, but darkness shrouds most of the path and we are unsure of its size and nature. This is called uncertainty. 

 

We’re often caught looking in the rearview mirror, trying in vain to straighten the road behind us in its dim red light. This is called regret. 

 

The trip cannot stop or pause, and behind us lie irrecoverable scenes of joy and people we don’t know anymore. This is called grief.

 

Sometimes we glance over our shoulder and think of the times when the road was smooth and beautiful. This is called nostalgia. 

 

Whatever it is behind us, it was done as best as it could be, and we are better off to not even bother to look at it. This is called acceptance. 

 

The beam of the headlights reveals to us but a small area in front of us that is continually moving forward, yet always in the same place. This is called the present.

 

That which lies ahead of the light is completely concealed. This is called the future.

 

Our journey has given us bumpy road before and we know not if we can stay on track the next time. This is called fear.

 

The road doesn’t go on forever, and we know the car will eventually break down, despite the sweetness that the path is paved on. This is called despair. 

 

The road has been smooth behind us, and even though we must drive slowly when it is bumpy, the nature of the road is to vary in its evenness. This is called hope. 

 

The car only moves forward and does not pause for our sake. This is called fate.

 

We concentrate on what our headlights reveal to us and let the future take care of itself. This is called faith.

 

 

Leave your thoughts for RCP in the comments below better yet, start up a dialogue with the Low Entropy community in person at a Conscious Connections meeting or online at our community site. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and YouTube to stay up-to-date with Low Entropy news!

Race to the Bottom

Rushmila Rahman, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer 

 

Over the last two years, I noticed my voice slowly starting to fade. 

 

At first I blamed it on the pandemic – like most things – but that didn’t seem to deter the casual and undeniable shedding of the confident chord that held my sentences together. In a panic, I started focusing my energy on making my voice louder, my thoughts clearer and my words more polished. Yet I felt less heard than ever, and the more I looked in the mirror, the more I started to imagine pixie dust in place of words coming out of my mouth. 

 

I couldn’t help but wonder: was it really just the pandemic? 

 

The last two years have also seen me transition from one stage of life to another: I graduated and traded my “student” status for an “unemployed” one. With so many recent reports of employees resigning, combined with LinkedIn declarations that the future lies in hybrid work options, you’d think that it would be easy to find a job in my field. 

 

Not exactly. 

 

Job postings nowadays have a few common keywords that stood out to me: dynamic. Diverse. Detail-oriented. Expert demonstrable knowledge. Digital expert. Marketing expert. Regardless of the company’s use of such nouns and adjectives to describe their perfect candidate, they all seemingly wanted the same thing: expertise. 

 

If you search for “entry-level jobs requiring experience,” you’ll read that applicants like myself are supposed to ignore the minimum two-to-four year requirement and “just apply anyway.” Yet, before submitting the application, a little pop-up box asks me to put down (in numerical figures only) my years of experience doing X, Y and Z. 

 

Most organizations claim to be diverse in their hiring practices but their cultures are still quite static and old-fashioned. As more complex, dynamic job-seekers flood the market, companies increasingly seem to respond by shrinking their office spaces and boarding up their windows. It’s like something out of Shakespeare: “No, Time, thou shalt not boast that I do change.” 

 

My academic and professional background may not be a long scroll, but it does showcase my skills in this field. Despite my work experience and a highly specific degree, I’m weeded out as an under-qualified candidate because of the ancient and quite paradoxical practice of judging someone’s qualification for an entry-level job based on their years of experience. This tells me that all this community really cares about is that numerical value that tells them how long I’ve been doing what I’m applying to do. As if qualified people cannot be dynamic, non-linear individuals who have the tenacity to explore various interests and still climb up.

 

In his book Think for Yourself, Vikram Mansharamani writes that our love affair with specialization has surpassed all limits and imposed mental conditions (or walls) that box us in. According to his research, “experts are less accurate predictors than non-experts in their areas of expertise” because it’s difficult for them to “successfully navigate the vague situations that are more prevalent today than ever before.” As Mansharamani puts it, “breadth of perspective trumps depth of expertise in uncertain domains.” And since organizations nowadays want people to unlearn and relearn continuously, generalists are better suited to navigate the ever-changing future of any company. 

 

Yes, experts are valuable; and no, it’s not a fair world, but are companies really being “dynamic” and “diverse” by asking for years of experience for entry-level positions? Or are they just carrying out the age-old tradition of using their hiring practices to exploit periodic surges in the number of those unemployed in the market? 

 

Anyone can learn the skills that a given job requires. That’s why there is orientation, a probationary period and a hierarchy of positions in a company – these act as safeguards for the production line and the company’s coffers. And yet they want us to believe that hiring experts at entry-level wages is the most sustainable way to move forward? Unfortunately, even in 2022, the term “diversity” only runs skin-deep, and individuals with non-linear backgrounds are destined to fall through the cracks, leaving a trail of pixie dust in their wake. 

 

I believe Tinker Bell is a great analogy in this situation. As a job-seeker, I feel my voice getting increasingly silenced and my personhood gradually erased the more jobs I apply to. When I apply for positions that line up with my skills and interests, the same ones with long-drawn posts and application methods, with pages of questions on top of a resume and cover letter requirement, only to be weeded out by a little pop-up box, I might as well sprout a pair of wings and fly away to Neverland, because all those words mean nothing next to that numerical figure used to determine my qualification. 

 

The sheer lack of trust on the part of companies when screening potential employees places applicants in a position of absolute submission (mostly through arcane application processes) and otherization. Just like how Tinker Bell’s existence relied on the collective faith of those around her, the growth of the hiring company relies on having faith in those who want to work for it. 

 

As a community, enough emphasis needs to be placed on diversity and non-linear backgrounds, in the truest sense of these terms. Only when we are able to foster an environment that celebrates risk-takers and dreamers will we keep the Tinker Bells of this world from vanishing into thin air.

 

 

Rushmila Rahman is a writer, editor and communications professional based in Vancouver, BC.

Despite Change

Bethany Howell (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Throughout my life, I have only had people who stayed for short periods of time. Excluding family, my longest relationships always lasted under a year. Never by choice, but instead, circumstance. Quarantine and switching between schools easily broke apart any relationships I had. That is, until he came along.

 

He was my first partner and the only person to stay with me through the change, not leave me because of it. We became inseparable and soon, a year had passed of us being together. With the exchanging of anniversary gifts — a beautiful promise ring he spent a good portion of his paycheck on — I realized that this may be the first “forever” in my life. Yes, others have said it, but years of disappointment and broken promises made the word automatically untrue in my mind. The months wore on, as good and as bad as they always are, still filled with pain, but I withstood them better with him by my side. He held me and comforted me and, even when we were hundreds of kilometers apart, somehow managed to be near me in spirit.

 

I have realized now that new beginnings do not necessarily mean new people, and that one can find new things to explore with those they’ve come to know so well. My partner continues to stick with me through moves, stay-at-home orders and the personal drama that seems to follow me throughout my life — something I never expected another person would be able to handle. To have someone hold your hand and not only walk with you, but guide you through problems that arise, is a wondrous thing. 

 

New beginnings with the same person can be difficult, regardless of the excellence of the relationship. Strains are added with distance and time between meetings; we often find ourselves bickering more as a result of this. Though new scenarios may be beneficial — such as myself moving back for another year at university — issues can still arise. With change comes hardships, whether they be simple or more complex. Even through these hardships, through months of being unable to see my partner in person and through the arguments that we stumble into together, we have still stayed strong as one. 

 

To maintain a relationship, stability must be found, even in unstable times. These large periods of change shook me, but my partner was able to help keep me steady. “Throughout everything,” I would say to myself, “At least I know he is here.” There have been many nights spent awake due to stress about the future, asking myself where I will end up living and who will stay with me, but never once have I questioned his place by my side.

 

It must be noted that staying close is not a one-sided action. Along with my partner’s fierce loyalty comes my own, and only together have we been able to make it through each new scenario. I would like to believe that I hold onto him just as tightly as he holds onto me. I also would like to say that I am the same stabilizing force in his life that he is in mine. I know that he would agree with both statements, assuring me that I am, of course, just as — if not more — useful to him as he is to me.

 

The months will continue to wear on, just as they are known to do, and I hope that my partner shall stay near me regardless of what life brings our way. I once told him, after a particularly rough day, that I no longer see the world in terms of “him” and “I,” but “us”; I believe that it is this mindset that will keep us strong. We have loyalty, not only to each other as partners, but to each other as separate parts of ourselves. New beginnings may come along for me and, for once, I feel equipped to truly embrace them. With my partner, I have the stability and comfort I need to not only accept, but adopt change. 

 

Finally, to my partner: Thank you, darling. Thank you for everything you do, especially supporting my writing (and agreeing to me sharing our story). Here’s to many more years of us.

 

 

My name is Bethany Howell and I am a third-year university student majoring in psychology and minoring in family and child studies. I have a passion for writing and mental health, and my ultimate goal since age 13 has been to make a difference in the world through helping others, which is how I ended up here at Low Entropy!

Why Didn’t Anyone Tell Me?

Linda Ng, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer 

 

As a young adult growing up in a confusing world, I believe I’ve finally mastered the art of living. I am no expert. But my journey to self-improvement in the past few years has taught me more than I’ve ever learned during my school years.

 

I’m here to share them with you today. Your age should not impact your plan of action. It’s never too late to keep improving yourself and moving forward.

 

See the World

I typically travel about two-to-three times per year, usually one long trip accompanied by a few shorter ones. I understand that travelling isn’t for everyone, especially at this point in time. But I believe there are valuable benefits you can reap from seeing the world, beyond lamenting about lost luggage or delayed flights. Seeing how other people live, encountering different cultures and meeting new people are priceless experiences that will support your transition to adulthood and allow you to grow. Check out the beautiful glaciers in Iceland, run through beautiful tea fields in Japan or visit a famous museum in Europe. Through travelling, I’ve learned to be humble and appreciate what I have. The knowledge and memories stay with you for life.

 

Live Alone

When I was in university, I lived at home. I did not learn to be independent until I got married. Living at home was perfect. There were no meals to cook or kitchens to clean. I just studied. In doing so, I gave up the experience of learning to be independent. It’s a crucial skill that I neglected to learn until much later in life. Living on campus at a university is a golden opportunity for you to train and prepare yourself. Because there is no one to rely on, you’ll find that you’ll learn new skills much more quickly. Sure, it’s tough to fix a broken kitchen appliance or figure out how to pay your expenses. But when you look back, you will be glad you trained yourself. 

 

Equip Yourself

Young adult years are often the best time to equip yourself with the ammunition you need to get through this often cruel world. You have all the time in the world to prepare yourself and learn to handle what life throws at you. No one teaches you about mortgages or how to haggle over a new car lease in school. You won’t learn about household repairs or budgeting. These are real-world skills that you need during adult life. You have the time and energy to acquire these skills when you are young.

 

Take Time Off

I’ve always regretted not taking time off between graduating and getting a full-time job. The expectation for me was to land a job after graduating from university. As I look back at my life, there is no doubt that I made a mistake. Except for paid vacation days, you don’t get time off work. Where is the time to travel or to do other things? Once you secure that permanent full-time job, you might see yourself working until you retire. We spend our most productive years earning money. When we retire and try to address our passions, we often run out of time and energy faster than we can replenish them. Whether it’s to travel or to learn more about yourself, taking a year or two off after graduating is a great way to figure out the plan for the rest of your life. I wish I did that.

 

Investing and Saving

I’ve only begun dabbling in investments in the past few years. I’ve always shied away from it, confused about the jargon and complicated charts and numbers. What did EPS and P/E ratio mean? I had no idea and wasn’t motivated to find out at all. As life went on, I came to a point where I started to think about retirement. I certainly did not want to be penniless during my retirement years. I began researching information about RRSPs, TFSAs and the stock market. The more I learned, the more ignorant I felt. Investing can generate an additional passive income that grows while I’m sleeping. I realized that I should have been investing years ago. 

 

Work During School

I came out of university debt-free, which is somewhat of a miracle. How did I do it? I paid for all my textbooks and tuition because I held down a part-time job during school. When I wasn’t studying, I was working. Hearing about students who are thousands of dollars in debt after graduating sounds like a nightmare. I avoided that nightmare by making sure I paid my way through school. It’s one of the best things I’ve ever done.

 

Venturing into the adult world is something you’ll experience much faster than you think. I’m hoping some of these tips will facilitate a smoother transition. Is there anything you’d like to add to the list? Leave a comment below to share your thoughts!

 

 

My name is Linda and I’m from Canada! When I’m not writing, I enjoy travelling, playing badminton and spending time with my pets. I have a strong passion for self-improvement and mental health topics. I’m hoping to share that with you here at Low Entropy!

Self-acceptance and the Legend of Narcissus

Susan Turi (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

O’ glass-eyed pond off the wild beaten track, 

from where clouds abscond on days overcast 

along furrowed path, carved stone-cold black 

wherein hoof and foot print in iron cast- 

like a coin you lie forgotten yet bright 

dropped by a God out his pocket of tweed, 

smothered by heather and rimm’d in twilight 

stumbling upon you in moments of need. 

Tho’ rains have stayed and left like a rude guest 

gouging deeper your fossil-d peat-grave, 

mud-eyed, and still’d in cosmic reflect, 

I kneel at the orbits of heaven’s gaze; 

for even in doubt and lost opportunes 

the glass-eyed pond shall reveal my fortunes. 

 

~S.T 

 

The legend of Narcissus is a well-known Greek myth that many are familiar with. Narcissus, the handsome son of a river god and a nymph, allegedly spurned the advances of the goddess Echo, and came across a lake or a pond while out hunting. Upon catching his own reflection in it, he falls in love with himself. Doomed until death to never love anyone but himself, a daffodil blooming on the edges of the pond where he once stood is a reminder of this curse.

 

But wait a minute. Why a beautiful daffodil — a joyful reminder of summer on its way — and not a weed? And how did Narcissus come across this pond in his wanderings? Gazing into the mirrored pond, did he not also admire the vast sky filled with swallows reflected behind his silhouetted form, or the bulrushes shivering at the pond’s edge? This is one of the reasons I find this legend fascinating, as there are so many questions about how and why Narcissus came to this pond and what happened after he stared at his own reflection. One thing is certain though, the legend of Narcissus is a lesson about the relationship, or lack thereof, with one’s inner self, and accepting who one really is. By falling in love with his reflected image, Narcissus was doomed to negate the unique myriad textures and hues within himself, which exist at the core of everyone and are explored and tested through our interpersonal relationships. 

 

It’s true that we all have our narcissistic tendencies, to varying degrees. This was encouraged, as it is today, in ancient Greece, with pressure to conform to stereotypical standards of status and beauty. Yet believing that who we see reflected back at us via a mirror — or society — is all that we are is what the legend of Narcissus warns us about. Focusing on cultivating a facade acceptable to society in denial of one’s own unique qualities can only lead to long-term disillusionment, as one’s facade also encompasses popular tastes in fashion, career choices and goals, and one’s own ambition and extroversion.

 

Knowing who you are as a person is integral to your mental health and self-acceptance. One’s first steps towards self-knowledge is universal — seeing ourselves reflected in our mother’s eyes. We feel acknowledged and realise our importance. She is the pond to our Narcissus. But as we mature, we develop awareness of others beyond our reflection. We understand that the pond has not been created in the forest for us, but for the deer to drink from, for the fish and frogs to make their home therein. We learn that during dry spells the pond may recede, and that during wet weather it may breach its rim and flood the surrounding meadow. Once we have realized that we have no control over nature’s instincts to evolve, we realize that change happens to us, whether we want it or not. To remain in this limbo state, in the first stage of development — like Narcissus did — to fall in love with one’s own reflection, is a refusal of a natural tendency to grow into ourselves and discover our complexities. A question we may ask of ourselves in difficult moments, when driven by negative emotions, is whether it is okay to stay who we are, with our self-perceived contradictions and weaknesses. But this question is dependent on whether who you are as a person — your persona — serves your inner self and is not a manufactured facade to satisfy external expectations. Which brings me back to the legend of Narcissus. 

 

A particular variation on the legend that I like is that Narcissus was led to the pond by Nemesis, the goddess of revenge, who wanted to punish him for rejecting Echo by bewitching him into falling in love with himself. I like this version, as it suggests that Narcissus was duped into being fatally attracted to himself. After a day of hunting, after all, it would have been more likely that Narcissus would have been tired, with little energy for admiring his own reflection. He may have examined his gaunt reflection in the quietude of the pond and its surroundings, and pondered upon his furrowed brow and lined face, and instead of falling in love with a shallow, idealized self, he may have contemplated the reflected cosmos and then asked of himself, “Who am I, really?” Perhaps the daffodil that grows on the banks of rivers and lakes, or at the sides of ponds, is an optimistic reminder to get to know and accept one’s true self — including one’s darker self — to be one’s own compass, resisting the urge to believe in a superficial facade, and to embrace the unique person that blooms inside every one of us. 

 

References:

https://www.britannica.com/topic/Narcissus-Greek-mythology 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissus_(mythology) 

 

 

I am a writer, illustrator and painter living in Montreal, Canada with a degree in fine arts. I began my career as a production artist for design studios and ad agencies, before deciding to devote myself  purely to self-expression through writing and painting. I am currently at Concordia University majoring in creative writing and English literature.

The Small Things

Raghavi (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

New Year’s is a time of reflection for many. A time to look back on the past year and to look ahead to the future. I used to write out a list of lofty goals every New Year, and then promptly forget about them by the end of January. I would put far too many things on the list and end up too overwhelmed to work on any of them. Over the last few years, I’ve realized that starting small is the best way to accomplish change for me. Now I am much more sparing with my goal setting. I don’t put pressure on myself to set goals for the sake of the new year, so some years I have just one or two goals, and some years I have none.

 

I also don’t wait for the new year. Instead I just do it throughout the year, as I identify things that I want to work on. I use the same approach with my to-do lists, paring the tasks down to the absolute essentials, and now I am much more successful in getting those tasks done. On the hard days I skip the to-do list altogether and write a have-done list instead. I write down all the things I have accomplished throughout the day, even if it is something as small as getting out of bed or having a shower. It instantly makes me feel better about myself.

 

When it comes to working toward an actual goal, embracing small steps has been a game changer for me. The old adage “Rome wasn’t built in a day” is a good way of visualizing this. You cannot go from a beginner level guitar player to a virtuoso overnight. It takes many small steps over time. Often when I set a goal, it’s hard to know where to start, as it just seems like one giant, unscalable mountain. This is where breaking it down into smaller parts is helpful. It makes it less overwhelming, and the work I need to do becomes much clearer.

 

Also, realizing that there will never be a perfect time to start working has been a lightbulb moment for me. I just have to make use of the time I have, even if it’s squeezing in five minutes in the morning before work or a few minutes before bed. The old me would wait for inspiration and motivation to strike, preferably when I had a big chunk of free time, but that ideal confluence never happened. It seems like such a simple concept, but I still catch myself thinking, “I’ll wait for a better time” to start something. I have to actively push myself and say, “I am going to do it right now, even if it doesn’t seem like the perfect time.” 

 

A lot of times, especially when a task is difficult or laborious, my mind throws up a wall and I find myself avoiding the work. A technique that I have found useful to help me break through this mind block is the Pomodoro Technique, which is setting a timer for 25 minutes and working without stopping for those 25 minutes before taking a break. I usually aim for 10 minutes and I don’t always use a timer, but the concept has been incredibly useful in helping me get started. I find that once I actually start, I get into a rhythm and often keep going well beyond 10 minutes, but even if I only do 10 minutes of work, I still feel a sense of achievement. 

 

Self-improvement is a wonderful pursuit, but it is important to remember that progress might not be linear and it might not be fast. There will be ups and downs and productive days and not so productive days. We are our own worst critics and often place unrealistic expectations on ourselves. It is important to have patience and self-compassion and to celebrate the small wins. We may not make giant leaps every day, but the small steps will add up over time to make lasting change. So don’t be harsh on yourself for not getting enough done, instead congratulate yourself on every small step that you take toward the future you dream of.

 

 

Leave your thoughts for Raghavi in the comments below better yet, start up a dialogue with the Low Entropy community in person at a Conscious Connections meeting or online at our community site. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and YouTube to stay up-to-date with Low Entropy news!

The Art of Goal-Setting

Bianca Bravo (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

“The victory of success is half won when one gains the habit of setting goals and achieving them. Even the most tedious chore will become endurable as you parade through each day convinced that every task, no matter how menial or boring, brings you closer to fulfilling your dreams.” – Og Mandino 

 

The Importance of Goals 

As we anticipate the arrival of the new year, it is natural to set new goals as we embrace a fresh start full of new opportunities. Goals reveal our growth and development and reinforce change – the good kind. Since we are constantly learning and evolving, sticking to old, traditional ways does not always work. The initiative to develop new habits and the willingness to improve is a natural part of our human nature in a fast-paced society. Goals are significant, as they keep us focused and emphasize the importance of self-discipline, where we are able to delay instant gratification for more rewarding long-term gratification. 

 

Maintaining Balance Between Different Types of Goals 

There are several types of goals, each of them crucial to our own happiness and self-development. When combined together, they maintain a balance between all aspects of our lives. They help us learn new things about ourselves that work and are suited to our abilities and lifestyles. The five types of goals we tend to focus on are career/educational goals, financial goals, personal development goals (including physical health), spiritual goals and relationship goals. Although these are all important, having too many of one but not enough of others can lead to letdown and stress in one subject, and unnecessary focus on another. For instance, as a student, having too many educational goals, such as maintaining A grades, scoring above a 1500 on the SAT and writing my applications to be eligible for good universities could make me feel burnt out if they were my only focus. I like to focus on personal development as well, such as maintaining my mental and physical health and strengthening my relationships with friends and family. Specifically, I plan on continuing to go to the gym for one-to-two hours, four times a week, and taking at least one night to spend time with loved ones. Overall, having one-to-two goals in each category maintains order and increases productivity in our lives. Too much or too little of one area can be more unhealthy than beneficial. Therefore, the key idea is to find a perfect amount of time to dedicate to goals to prevent feeling overwhelmed by other priorities. 

How to Set Proper Goals and Avoid Unrealistic Ideas 

Although goal-setting is a big step in the right direction, attainable and realistic goals are the ones that prove most beneficial to us. Before setting any type of goal, it is key that we reflect on our own lifestyles so that the goals we set pertain specifically to us. They will be different for everyone, and will vary throughout the different stages of life. 

 

To further compare the difference between realistic and unrealistic goals, we can use the acronym SMART. A well-balanced goal is composed of specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time-bound principles. Along with a goal, you should have a specific, solid understanding of the steps you need to take in order to reach that goal. If it is general, broad, and needs more detail to be interpreted correctly, it is easy to slack off or feel unsure of where to start with regard to completing that goal. Additionally, goals should also be measurable and manageable within a specific amount of time, and should fit with other conflicting priorities you have. It is illogical to devote a significant amount of time to tasks of lesser priority or to achieve a long-term goal in a short period of time. Furthermore, reflect on your work ethic and time management abilities. If a goal is unfit for you to accomplish in the time you want, cut it down or alter it to fit you. Goals are meant to encourage, not discourage you. With that, remember not to compare goals with others around you, since they must pertain to your own abilities, passions and needs. Lastly, giving yourself a deadline will force you to put in the effort, which parallels the satisfaction of receiving delayed gratification. Giving too much or too little time for yourself to complete a goal is not ideal. Practice patience, but do not procrastinate, as little-to-no progress will result from it. 

The Effects of Realistic Goals and its Role in Success 

Overall, realistic goals will help you, in the future, become the best version of yourself. As humans, we are constantly growing and learning. Our potential is based on our mentality and whether we can dig deep enough to achieve our greatest dreams and desires. Realistic goals set us on the right path to becoming successful, happy and fulfilled.

 

 

My name is Bianca Bravo, and I am a high school student from Vancouver, BC. Some of my hobbies include writing, going to the gym and listening to music. 

Embracing Therapy

Linda Ng, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Therapy. This short and simple word has so many negative connotations tied to it. People imagine that those who seek therapy are the crazy ones. They are the ones who have been diagnosed with mental disorders, their bathrooms filled with piles of medication to control their symptoms. I beg to differ. There are a wide range of reasons that a person might seek therapy. It can be for stress-related issues or relationship problems. Perhaps they are simply struggling through a challenging period in their lives. 

 

Even if we are sprinting, it appears as if our ever-changing world is evolving at a mind-boggling pace. The pressures of success, daily life and the demands of society are exceedingly overwhelming to the average person. It is almost as if we are constantly dealt from a losing deck of cards, fighting every minute to get through the day. I am no exception. Just a few years ago, the pressures of life led me into a near-breakdown. Like many people in the world who are experiencing the same thing, I felt helpless and alone. It was one of the most difficult times of my life, filled with hopelessness and despair. When I started to contemplate the meaning of life, I knew I needed help. It would not have been resolved with a hot bath or a box of chocolates.

 

My Experience with Therapy

 

I sought an unbiased perspective, a person who would sit and listen to me pour my heart out. I was reluctant to speak to friends or family. Instead, I decided to turn to therapy. I enlisted the services of a psychotherapist and set up my appointment.

 

Within five minutes of my first session, I started bawling out my life story. At that point, I knew I had done the right thing. To reveal such a personal and emotional side of myself to a stranger was not easy. Yet, because I was already at a breaking point in my life, it came so effortlessly to me. The therapist did not ask any questions until I managed to stop the flow of tears. I did not walk out of the session with my problems all solved. But it was exactly the support I needed to pick myself up again.

 

Negative Views of Therapy

 

Society has somehow managed to attribute therapy to many negative implications, such as believing that there is something wrong with you or that you cannot handle your life. On the contrary, I believe that therapy is for everyone and anyone. The services of a licensed psychotherapist can be enlisted for a wide range of concerns, not only for common disorders like anxiety or depression. If you have something you can’t deal with in your life or if you’re generally feeling lost in life, you can seek therapy. It is the best thing you can do to help yourself out during tough times. 

 

Life can be incredibly difficult. It’s almost like a roller coaster, where we are pitched into euphoric highs and then mercilessly thrown into the stomach-wrenching lows. To handle this wild roller coaster ride in life, we need to understand when and how to administer self-care.

 

How Therapy Can Help

 

A therapist provides a pathway for what I like to call a “brain dump.” Can we even count the number of thoughts that we have in a day? Our brain is constantly processing information and forming new memories. If we don’t give our brains a chance to release these thoughts and unload, we are paving the way for an eventual breakdown. All I can envision is a volcano filled to the brim with hot lava, ready to erupt at the slightest trigger.

 

There are several ways of unloading thoughts. Journalling or writing a diary are common choices. Others choose to speak with friends or perhaps even resort to bottling it up inside. I believe that there should be more focus on therapy and counselling as an option. It is not that we cannot be adults and get through life, or that there is something wrong with our brains. We can think of therapy as a gentle, guiding hand to lead us out when we have lost our way. 

 

The stresses that we encounter in our society today are very real. We cannot deny that there is an increasing demand for mental health support. Learning to embrace and accept therapy is a step in the right direction. Allowing negative emotions or issues to build up and fester inside of you is never the right choice for our mental health. We get rid of physical toxins from our bodies by sweating or working out. We need to do the same for our brains. Let’s begin by taking the negativity and stigma out of therapy and counselling. It is time to take care of yourself.

 

 

My name is Linda and I’m from Canada! When I’m not writing, I enjoy travelling, playing badminton and spending time with my pets. I have a strong passion for self-improvement and mental health topics. I’m hoping to share that with you here at Low Entropy!

Opportunities Knock

Julia Magsombol (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

What if we had a second chance to get things right? What if we had another chance to change everything and grab each opportunity we missed? 

 

Sounds interesting. I know some of us wish for that in our lives. 

 

Unfortunately, time travel doesn’t exist like in the movies we watch. The past has passed. We don’t have the chance to change it anymore, and we must live in the present.  

 

We often hear from people that we shouldn’t let go of any opportunities that may come our way. We must capitalize on those openings as soon as possible or we will have failed. 

 

It’s true that opportunities can lead to success and bring us closer to our goals, whether those opportunities involve jobs, love, friendship or family.

 

However, we also miss some opportunities. Or, perhaps, a lot

 

Indeed, feeling that we’ve missed a chance in every opportunity is pretty annoying. The moment we realize that we could’ve done better to capitalize on an opportunity can be painful to think about. We wish we could have time travelled and changed some of our past actions. We regret a lot of things and blame our past actions. 

 

Because of our missed opportunities, we keep chasing more opportunities in different places and times. We don’t want to regret anything like before. We keep hunting those elusive doors. 

 

And while we’re chasing those opportunities, we lose sight of the things we already have, the past successes we have gained. We risk a lot of precious things while seeking those doors.

 

Let’s put it this way: a kid who is currently eating a lollipop is running to get more lollipops. The kid keeps running from store to store to get more lollipops because he wants more. The kid keeps losing sight of the things around him. Then, in a sudden moment, a truck drives along and hits the kid. The kid lost a life that was worth more than any lollipop.   

 

The moral of the story is that we risk something in every opportunity we take, and may perhaps lose something important. It’s common to fail when chasing opportunities, even if we give everything we’ve got. In doing so, we might be losing something way more valuable than the opportunities we’re longing for.

 

It’s difficult to give up opportunities when we have a lot of plans for the future. Believe me, I’m still in the process of becoming better at this. It is never easy. While I’m still learning, I’ve noted some of the things I try to keep in mind.

 

  1. Let the missed opportunities go. 

 

Missed opportunities lead to feelings of regret and failure. We may have a hard time moving on and we might keep repeating in our heads the things we could’ve done to capture them. But what can we do? They’re already gone. The past has passed, and the only thing we can do is accept our failures peacefully to move on from them. The next opportunities we find and create for ourselves could be 10 times better than what we lost. 

 

  1. Opportunities are always there. 

 

People say that we shouldn’t let go of the opportunities. People say that like it’s a rule that we already have those chances in our hands, and we must not let go of them. But the truth is, we don’t initially have any opportunities in our hands. We must find opportunities. We must create them on our own. We have a choice. And so opportunities are always there, as long as we live. We don’t have to risk everything and lose sight of the valuable things around us to achieve something.  

 

  1. Take everything at a reasonable pace.

 

It is alright to take things slowly. It is okay if we haven’t achieved our goals and haven’t gotten our opportunities yet. Life is not a race. We should take everything at our own pace, not others’.

 

What is the one thing that comes to your mind when you think of opportunities? For me, they aren’t doors that only open once. There are thousands of doors out there that will open for all of us in our own time if we keep finding them and creating them, without rushing things. 

 

We must try to put away some of the heavy things we carry from our past to freely enter the doors of our future opportunities. 

 

 

Julia Magsombol is currently a journalism student from Edmonton, Canada, who desires to bring hope to people through her writing. When not writing or reading, you can catch her sewing clothes, painting nature and drinking instant coffee.

Happy Holidays?

Emma Quackenbush (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

For some, December 25th represents significant time with family and friends and includes long-standing traditions and rituals. For others, the holidays can be challenging. I, like many, live away from my family. My immediate family lives thousands of kilometres away. This year on Christmas Eve, while my family shared COVID rapid test results and feasted on seafood, I was home wondering if my work would continue after Christmas or not, with another COVID-related shutdown looming. My family tries their best to include me in celebrations, but nothing will replace being there in person. In my experience, many things about Christmas, while pleasant, feel routine but not necessarily merry or bright.

 

I chose to live in my city, far from family, only because I got a job here. I work in a highly competitive industry, so you basically go where the job is. It is cold, the days are short around the winter solstice and it has a culture that I find unrelatable. I am puzzled by people who have grown up here who believe it’s the best place on earth. They embrace the numerous quirks and seem to love suffering cold winters (“At least it’s a dry cold!”) only to luxuriate in mosquito-riddled summers. Maybe you have to have been born here to understand the draw. 

 

I have always felt like an outsider here. That feeling intensifies over the holidays because my work schedule doesn’t allow for time off around the holidays. I see everyone around me getting excited to put up decorations and begin their holiday traditions, but each time someone asks me what my plans are, I feel further alienated from this place and this season. I don’t have an answer that feels genuine to me. 

 

Instead, I feel the financial pressure to buy and exchange gifts. I feel social pressure to have a home decorated just so, attend parties and gatherings and imbibe more than I would otherwise. I feel the emotional pressure to connect with family and friends in some significant way while still balancing one of the busiest times of the year at work. 

 

As I get older, I have learned to set more and more boundaries around these pressures. I’ve learned to say no to food and drink that I know will make me feel off-balance physically. I’ve discovered that the busy work schedule is an excellent excuse for declining invitations, and fortunately, my family and friends understand, or at the very least have accepted, that they will most likely not receive a gift from me. These boundaries help me keep in check with my physical, mental and emotional well-being. Still, I always feel like something is missing.

 

The practice of setting my boundaries has made it difficult to create my own holiday traditions. Most years, I feel like I’m in survival mode. I am more focused on maintaining a healthy balance than planning activities, baking or decorating. I’ve learned to focus my energy on what makes me feel fulfilled and honours my mind, body and soul. That focus looks different from year to year. Still, those things include a lot of self-care, like drinking enough water, exercising, keeping up my writing practice and centring my energy on genuine connections rather than peripheral ones. 

 

Over the years of separation from my family, I’ve discovered that if I don’t create space to establish holiday routines, no matter how large or small, I will easily be swept up into someone else’s vision of the holidays. I’ve always appreciated people reaching out to include me in their events and traditions; however, by accepting these invitations, I’ve found myself putting on a façade and conforming to other people’s expectations. 

 

December 25th, in many ways, is just another day. If you don’t have a family structure where long-held traditions prevail, that’s ok. Maybe there is just as much value in writing yourself a letter to check in and pouring a cup of tea before climbing into bed early.

 

For those who come from big, happy families who embrace each other’s differences and have found ways to celebrate all together, I applaud you. However, the holidays can be difficult, even in the best of circumstances. I long to find a way to create my own traditions, and I know the only way I can do that is by cultivating my well-being. So if you invite me for dinner next year and I respond by saying, “I respectfully decline,” don’t take it personally. I guarantee: it’s not you, it’s me.

 

 

Emma Quackenbush is a freelance writer, professional cellist and educator whose focus is on the mind-body connection. Holding a master’s degree from the University of Michigan, Emma has worked in the orchestra field in North America for over a decade. Outside of writing and music, Emma lives in Winnipeg, Manitoba, where she struggles to stay warm in the winters and finds any occasion she can to travel to more temperate climates.

A Letter to Myself

Bethany Howell (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

It’s been quite the year, hasn’t it?

 

You laughed until your ribs hurt and cried through so many cold nights.

You survived even on the days where you broke and you grew from that fight.

 

That thing you’ve been waiting for happened and that great fear came true.

That event didn’t matter as much as you thought and now you are able to see things that do.

 

You lost so much and yet were always able to keep your grasp.

You were better than you expected to be and, yes, those punches hit harder than they should have.

 

You rediscovered yourself and relearned things you thought you knew.

All this to say, my dear, you did well and I am so proud of you.

 

 

My name is Bethany Howell and I am a third-year university student majoring in psychology and minoring in family and child studies. I have a passion for writing and mental health, and my ultimate goal since age 13 has been to make a difference in the world through helping others, which is how I ended up here at Low Entropy!

Long to Stay

Max Rodriguez (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

This has been the trickiest, most weird year I have ever had. So many things I used to believe in for my whole life were suddenly not what I expected. I could honestly write a thousand blogs about everything I had to go through when I moved to Canada, but today I just want to share my perspective about my experience growing older, becoming an adult, and experiencing the world as it is for the first time.

 

Do you remember when you were a kid and wanted to become an astronaut? Maybe you wanted to be a veterinarian because you loved puppies, or maybe you played soccer with your friends every day to be just like your favorite player. Then you probably learned about computers and all you wanted to do was to be a singer, or an actor/actress, or I don’t know, change the world?

 

My career assessment stopped at this point, I suppose. My whole world was drawing and taking pictures, so that had to be my career, right? An artist. Well it is my career, it’s all I know how to do and the only thing that makes sense at this point in my life, but I had my doubts.

 

I grew up in the beautiful city of Bogotá, Colombia, but it is not common for people to think that it is a good place to live in. Not many people love or respect my hometown, and for a long time neither did I. My dream was to become a filmmaker in this perfect city called Vancouver. In my last year of high school, I found out I was very good at math and that I loved science. My heart started to long to stay in my small and simple life, and I guess that if school had finished a week after, I wouldn’t be writing this. But my 17-year-old self was drunk with power. She wanted to leave and be surrounded by this big industry’s air, she wanted everyone to know her name, she wanted to be busy and prove a lot of things to a lot of people.

 

Two years later, after taking my leap of faith, I learned the meaning of the word “burnout.” I was extremely lost, tired and lonely, and I didn’t know who I was anymore. All I could think about was going home, hugingging my mom, doing stupid things with my friends and never hearing the word “Vancouver” ever again. I was so scared, all I knew was that I wanted to get into college, but I didn’t know what to do after it. Wait, are you telling me that my grades are worth nothing? That graduating with honors doesn’t open doors? That all the people who I helped in college are just going to move on without me? Are you telling me that people are not going to give me the jobs I’m applying to? That student loans must be paid?! That I must get groceries every time I run out of food?!?

 

I couldn’t handle it. I went straight back home, leaving everything behind.

 

But then I was home . . . and two years had passed without me. My room wasn’t my room anymore, that delicious ice cream I used to eat all the time tasted like butter, my allergies came back and the medications I used to take for them made me sleepy again. Mom was busy with my sister, my friends were hanging out with their new friends, passing cars didn’t stop when I was crossing the street and . . . I realized I wasn’t part of their lives anymore. This wasn’t 2019, it was 2021. I was not the person who left two years ago. My place was in that city I hated because of all the pressure I put myself under . . . all my hard work and burnout would be worthless if I didn’t go back. 

 

Then I started watching a series on Netflix called Maid and I realized that this is what life is about, breaking and building ourselves over and over, until we know how to handle it. Until we learn how to cook our lunch, until we know how to handle rejection, until we figure out how to accept ourselves and our lives. It’s not supposed to be easy . . . it’s supposed to be what it is meant to be. We’re supposed to fall until we learn how to fly, and I guess it’s about living as many experiences as possible so we can share them with people and maybe encourage them to keep going, cause maybe, just maybe . . .

 

What we need isn’t what we want, and you just must find out by walking a few uncomfortable steps further.

 

 

Max Rodriguez is a Colombian and Canadian who is an unstoppable artist with a strong passion for filmmaking.

The Power of . . . Self-Care

Lori Stevenson (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

A number of years ago a colleague uttered words that have forever stuck with me and changed my life: “You cannot pour from an empty cup.” These words are so simple and so true. In today’s society, the demands on us are almost never-ending: no matter which way we turn, something or someone is demanding our time, attention, assistance, love, cooking skills, chauffeur services – you name it. And that is under the best circumstances! Throw in a global pandemic that, for many, involved working from home while trying to either dodge or educate children, and well, it’s no wonder that Statistics Canada reported in 2021 that 46% of Canadians are experiencing stress levels that are higher than they were pre-COVID. 

 

In a society that views busyness and a never-ending schedule of commitments almost like a badge of honor, many of us – despite the abundance of knowledge and research out there that extols its virtues – still view self-care as an indulgence: something that happens once in a while, or on a special occasion, or as a reward for attaining that sought-after promotion or reaching a goal. For some, it may be in the back of our minds, something we know we should do, if only there were a few more hours in the day. A recent study by Birchbox and Kelton Global found that only 39% of men and 32% of women regularly make time for self-care. If you are doing nothing to care for yourself and fill your own cup, how can you give the best of yourself to others? It is time to make self-care a regular part of your routine. 

 

We all know the obvious tenets of self-care – a healthy diet, enough sleep, regular exercise – and if you are not already on top of these, this is an easy place to start. The benefits will speak for themselves in no time at all. Let’s consider these the foundation, the “must haves.” They keep your body going, give you life force – but do they bring you joy? Will they fill your cup? (Okay, for some out there, yes – a sweaty session at the gym brings you joy, but many of us just grin and bear it!) 

 

Once you have the basics down, it’s time to find things that you can do for yourself that will bring you enjoyment, happiness, fulfillment, peace, or just a few minutes of quiet time. Take a few minutes to reflect on what these things might be – what did you enjoy doing to unwind before you had all of the responsibilities and demands on your time that you do now? What have you been really wanting to spend time on? What do you want to learn to do? Jot them down. There aren’t enough hours in the day, we’ve established that already – so how on earth are you going to find time to fit in even one of these activities? I have some tips and suggestions that may help. 

 

  1. Schedule it. This is important! YOU are important! Treat yourself at least as well as you do your work colleagues, and schedule time for yourself. Be creative and flexible – for example, I have activities that I schedule in daily, weekly, monthly and quarterly. Stick to this time; hold it sacred.

 

  1. Set boundaries. If you’ve decided that you love to read and want to do this for 30 minutes every day, talk to your family. Let your children, spouse and others know that this half-hour a day is really important to you, it makes you happy and is something that you need to do. Ask them to respect this 30 minutes and not disturb you, or turn it into a family affair where everyone spends some quality time with a book. 

 

  1. Layer activities. Look for opportunities to multi-task. Listen to a personal or professional development podcast while you walk the dog or go for your morning run. Learn a new language over your morning coffee or on your commute. Listen to an audio book or catch up on your favorite reality TV show while cooking dinner. 

 

  1. Unplug. Track your screen time for a couple of days. If you are surprised by how much time you spend surfing or scrolling through social media, commit to cutting back. Even snatches of a few minutes gained here and there by putting down your device can turn into an act of self-care. Head out of the office for a quick walk. Do a quick body scan meditation – you can do this in your office, at the coffee shop, on the bus or train – no one will even know! Stretch. Call a friend for a quick hello. 

 

Not only do all of these actions release our brain’s feel-good chemicals – increasing our general happiness and sense of well-being – but doing something only for you, something that makes YOU feel good, can bring you energy, comfort and satisfaction, which is regenerative and restorative. What will you do to fill your cup?

 

 

My name is Lori Stevenson and I am a management professional living in the beautiful Okanagan. In my spare time I enjoy reading, writing, yoga, teaching myself Spanish and walking my dogs. I am pleased to share my ideas, thoughts and knowledge here with the Low Entropy community!

There for You

Tristan Goteng (he/him/his), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

The hit Fast & Furious saga is filled with thrills, adventure and action. It clearly gives the message that perhaps dealing with evil mafias, driving supercars over 100-meter-tall cliffs and being a priority on the FBI wanted list may not be the greatest idea. However, a deeper, truer message is impactfully showcased throughout all the movies, and that is the importance of family. 

 

What is a family? It is a simple term, but what actually counts as one’s family? Well, a family is composed of people whom you can trust. They are there for you when you need them the most. They care for you and support you in anything you do. But most importantly, they love you. It is so important to have these people by your side as you travel the journey of life to overcome the obstacles that stand in your way. A family doesn’t have to be just relatives, it can be really close friends, teachers, co-workers or, really, anybody who you believe will be there for you. 

 

Trust me, I know that, at times, it may feel like there is no one looking out for you. That you are lonely and don’t have family who are there for you. But, just as the golden rule states, “Treat others the way you want to be treated.” Meet people, talk to them, care for them, and I assure you that a good, loving family will be there for you, whether you need them or not. A family goes two ways. When you encounter obstacles, they will guide you and watch your back for you. However, when your family has run into trouble, help them out as well. It creates a stronger bond, and a larger, wholer sense of joy and trust between yourself and your family. 

 

My family consists of my parents, close relatives and friends, both inside and outside of my school community. As a grade 11 student, I face numerous challenges and stressful situations. These include university applications, schoolwork, after-school activities and many other responsibilities. I am positive that I am not the only one who has these problems too. Maybe not exactly the same, but nevertheless issues that, frankly, stop us from enjoying life. However, my family has proved time and time again that they are there to help me overcome these setbacks. Their constant support, enthusiasm and advice has motivated me to keep moving forward so their sacrifices for me will be worth it. That brings me to the next point.

 

Cherish your family. It may not be visible on the outside, but your family might be sacrificing a lot for your success. At bare minimum, they spend their time and effort on your cause. At most, it could be large sums of financial resources, pride or valuable possessions. Make sure you give back to them, and be grateful for what they have done. Always, and I cannot stress this enough, remember your roots, where you come from and who was originally there. Because this is where you started, and without a start, you can never finish and achieve your goals. 

 

 

My name is Tristan Goteng, and I am currently a high school student studying at St.George’s Senior School. I love writing and helping others overcome common obstacles that block us from growing!

Taking Care

Emily Iorio (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

When I think back to my earliest memories, I often wonder if I’ve dreamt them into existence. Memories so lapsed that they appear to me as blurred colours, as scents or feelings. I remember spending afternoons hanging off my mother’s legs as she spoke to the neighbour, Debbie. I can recall the vibrant colours of her skirt and the smell of the hot driveway asphalt as I ran circles around her feet, peeking through her legs at Debbie’s perfectly manicured lawn. I remember racing across the hall to my parents’ bedroom after waking from a bad dream, the feeling of refuge under their heavy beige duvet (because even the most relentless of monsters couldn’t get me under there). No matter how foggy the memories, I never forget the feeling of safety in the presence of loved ones. From my earliest memories, I was cared for – deeply. 

 

Let me begin by acknowledging how fortunate I was for the childhood I reminisce about. I grew up in a home with a wonderful family who loved me tremendously, and for that I am grateful. But as many of us do, I took for granted that feeling of security, of knowing that someone would always be there to make calm of my chaos. Even as I matured into adulthood, I looked to my parents for advice – after all, who really knows anything about winter tires or taxes? No matter how sticky a situation I found myself in, my parents had a way of reassuring me that all would be okay. That speeding ticket or ex-boyfriend wouldn’t be the be-all and end-all of my existence.

 

I suppose I was naïve in my belief that I had decades of trial-and-error left ahead of me, with my parents there to pick up the pieces. My mid-twenties panned out quite differently than I had hoped. One by one, my older brother, mother and step-father were diagnosed with terminal illnesses, each of them requiring a significant amount of care.

 

This threw my world into chaos, into entropy, if you will. The hierarchy I trusted no longer existed, and I felt I had no one to confide in to ensure I stayed afloat. With so much on everyone’s plate, there was no room to entertain my mundane tribulations. I stayed afloat nonetheless because my options were to sink or swim. What mattered was looking after my family, a brand-new, full-time commitment that prompted me to quit my job in order to be a present caretaker and to spend more cherished moments with the ones I loved before they were gone.

 

Perhaps you can relate. And if you can, I am incredibly sorry. The pain and trepidation of caring for an ill parent is unexplainable. All of a sudden, the unwavering individuals who held your hand through summertime scraped knees, academic failures and gut-wrenching heartbreak, are helpless – unable to act as the safety you’ve always relied on.  

 

There is something incredibly unsettling and downright scary about physically caring for a parent. Especially as a young caretaker. Accidently hurting my parents or being unable to understand their needs were very real fears of mine. Seeing the fear that my parents expressed caused me to spiral at times. I figured that if they were fearful, I certainly should be as well. Putting on a brave face was no easy feat. There were arguments, frustrations and miscommunications almost constantly. We memorized hospital hallways, morning and bedtime bathroom routines, and the monotonous alarms that signified an empty IV bag. There was lost sleep, emergencies and countless mistakes. 

 

But above all else, there was a mutual, deep appreciation. 

 

Amid the fear and unknown, I felt especially grateful for the opportunity to show my family the love and security that they have always shown me. When it came to gratitude, we left nothing unsaid – although there were days where gratitude manifested in defeated glances, tears and half-smiles.

 

It is curious to me why I was destined to be a caretaker. What I do know is that my capacity for empathy and compassion has become my most honourable trait. The wisdom of my mother’s last months, the courage of my brother’s final moments and the way my step-father approached his situation with his strong will and humour will sit with me for the rest of my life. The memories of these days will grow foggy, and to be quite honest, I hope they do. But unwavering in recollection will always be the gratitude I feel for what I was able to provide my mother, step-father and brother – the comfort of that heavy beige duvet during what felt like a nightmare we’d never wake from. A place where even the most relentless of monsters couldn’t get them. Safe in my presence, and cared for – deeply. 

 

Leave your thoughts for Emily in the comments below better yet, start up a dialogue with the Low Entropy community in person at a Conscious Connections meeting or online at our community site. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and YouTube to stay up-to-date with Low Entropy news!

Duties of the Eldest Sibling

Florence Ng (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

As the eldest daughter in an Asian immigrant family, a lot of my personal journey has been trying to discover and rediscover who I am as an individual. Specifically, defining myself outside of my relationships. I find that one of the most difficult things the world asks of me is to be the protagonist in my own story.

 

Over the years, I’ve met many people like me: classic people-pleasers, perfectionists and people who don’t know how to service themselves in the same way they service others. Of the many people I’ve met, and among my closest friends, I find it interesting, yet not altogether surprising, that many of these take on elder sibling or even parental roles in their family systems. There seems to be a similarity in the way our anxieties manifest and in the way we wrestle with what we owe others and what we owe ourselves. We are content to play supporting roles and uplift others while putting ourselves aside over and over.

 

Those like me have spent lifetimes learning how to draw boundaries while trying to hold onto our self-worth. It isn’t easy, as I’ve come to find, when you grow up learning that love is conditional and must be earned. Boundaries seem impossible to navigate, because failing to stretch ourselves over the canyon for others to safely walk over us feels selfish. We learn that we must be self-sacrificing in our roles, putting the family system first before ourselves, and we learn that the act of saying no is rebellion, and rebellion creates tension. The lasting effects of all this can be traumatic. 

 

I confess that there are times I’m afraid to trust, to simply accept any love that comes my way at no cost. In those times, I remind myself that the world is not always as we perceive it to be. I am worthy of the care that I give to others, and I deserve the same kindness that I think everyone else deserves. 

 

If you find yourself in a similar camp, you are not alone. Even if you do not have a parental role in your family but feel the weight of such responsibilities on your shoulder, I am certain there is an army of us behind you.

 

I have to tell you this: we are among the most resilient in the world. We’ve spent our lives adapting, expanding and contracting, moving like liquid through every trial. To quote Brené Brown in Braving the Wilderness:

 

The mark of a wild heart is living out the paradox of love in our lives. It’s the ability to be tough and tender, excited and scared, brave and afraid—all in the same moment. A wild heart can also straddle the tension of staying awake to the struggle of the world, while also cultivating its own moments of joy.

 

Learning to straddle this tension hasn’t been easy. The struggle to achieve the highest good for others and for ourselves might feel impossible and never-ending. 

 

Even so, we’re trying.

 

For that, I’m proud of us!

 

 

Hello! My name is Florence, and I’m an educator, storyteller, traveller, avid board game collector and curious, lifelong learner, among many other things. I’m passionate about human connection and mental well-being, and I love meeting new people! 

Leave your thoughts for Florence in the comments below better yet, start up a dialogue with the Low Entropy community in person at a Conscious Connections meeting or online at our community site. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and YouTube to stay up-to-date with Low Entropy news!

Staying Centered in a Time of Family

Pavleen Badhesa (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

The holiday season is approaching and there is excitement in the air, as many prepare for family functions, community events and winter activities. Amidst all the excitement, the season can be overwhelming for many, including myself. Family obligations can be major contributors to this feeling of being overwhelmed. This magical season allows many of us to spend more time with family. However, this time can also bring pressure, as we try to allocate time for family duties. To best support yourself, implement the five guiding principles below: 

  • Ensure your happiness.

 

In any family event or activity, make sure you are going in with a healthy mindset. With all the pressures and obligations ingrained in us to serve others, we tend to forget to check in with ourselves and our own happiness levels. Give yourself a quick break and ask yourself, “What do I need right now?” Whether that be something in your relationship with a family member or a five-minute personal breather, take the time to check in and ensure your happiness is being fulfilled. 

  • Participate in what you want.

 

In many family relationships, you may feel you have a duty to participate in activities and/or conversations that you do not particularly enjoy. These unpleasant situations are not necessarily a family obligation. Instead, try to have open discussions about starting traditions that suit you. There are many family activities that are traditional, and some traditions should be kept alive, but also allow yourself to experiment with new ones that you might enjoy more. 

  • Allow yourself to rest.

 

Ensure you are taking the time to recharge and rest, as family obligations and events may be draining. I know for myself this is necessary, as I am introverted and need time to charge my social battery. We all love our friends and family, but it is okay to need time away to rest up and bring our best selves back. 

  • Try to learn something new. 

 

Use the time with family as an opportunity to learn something new from a loved one! Growing up with our families, we may forget that those in our lives have a plethora of skills and experiences they can share with us, whether it is a recipe you have always enjoyed from family dinner or a card trick your grandpa used to perform for you. Anything small or big has the power to foster connection and allow you to enjoy time with your loved ones. 

  • Be present

 

Sometimes, when we are running around and trying to get everything done for everyone, we are not actually helping anyone. The core value underlying all family events and get-togethers is being present with each other and connecting. Focus on trying to clear the stresses and worries out of your mind, even if only for five minutes. The clarity will allow you to be present and feel the energy around you, and maybe even see your loved ones in a new way. 

 

Family obligations and duties vary in expectations and delivery for each family. The time spent with your family should spark joy, connection and relaxation. Implementing the five tips above will encourage these results, while allowing you the time to take care of yourself. I hope everyone has an amazing winter season filled with love, connection and hot chocolate!

 

 

Leave your thoughts for Pavleen in the comments below better yet, start up a dialogue with the Low Entropy community in person at a Conscious Connections meeting or online at our community site. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and YouTube to stay up-to-date with Low Entropy news!

With All Due Respect

Julia Magsombol (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

“Youth are supposed to be society’s tomorrow, but that’s all gone now. Youth are horrible and disrespectful. You can never expect anything from them.” 

 

A shocking line, isn’t it? It’s a line that I hear from different elders at every family gathering. Many young people may have heard it as well. And let’s all admit it: it’s tiring. 

 

I grew up in a very conservative family. My family and relatives are all strong believers in our culture, and they strongly maintain traditions. Trust me, I have seen enough of our elders trying to judge and provoke younger people. It’s wonderful to listen to elders and to let them guide us, but their lectures can sometimes be difficult to handle. 

 

Depression? It’s because you don’t have religion.

 

Last two years ago, I suffered from severe depression and anxiety because of school and personal problems at home. My face completely changed from before, when I was mentally stable. In the middle of winter, I was with my mom and we both went to a small grocery store. I didn’t look good. I was wearing an old hoodie and jogging pants. My mom knew all the people there who loved to gossip. The moment I entered the store, I could feel all the elderly women staring at me and talking amongst themselves. They said one thing to me: “You’re probably not okay because you have no God to believe in.”

 

The moment when those women said that to me, I was confused. I was a very religious person then. How could they criticize my belief and religion, just because I didn’t look good during that time?

 

When things sometimes don’t work in our lives, we can’t expect our religion to remove all our problems. It works for some people, but not for everyone. That’s one of the things that some elders should understand.

 

Sometimes, weight matters all the time.

 

As an Asian woman, our weight matters all the time. We should never gain weight and become fat. We are told that being fat is ugly and that no man could ever like us. My grandma used to tell my cousin to never get fat because it’s wrong and ugly. I clearly remember how my cousin became very conscious of her weight then and started eating less. She was only nine then. Sometimes weight does indeed matter. But remember, while weight may matter to some, it doesn’t have to matter to us too. We should never judge someone by their weight. We can eat what we want. We can be healthy. We can be ourselves. We don’t need to be skinny or have a specific weight for people to like us. We can appreciate ourselves for whoever we are. 

 

Your dreams do not matter. Mine do. 

 

We often hear from elders or parents that art or degrees that do not involve a doctorate or engineering are worthless. I dropped my dreams once. I hope others won’t do that just because their elders said so. It may sound a cliché, but we only live once. Life is too short to live for somebody else. It may be hard to achieve our dreams, but we should never surrender them because of others. We should still pursue them.

 

Stop discriminating against women. 

 

“Women are a disgrace.” 

Growing up as a woman in Canada made me realize how we are oppressed because of our gender and sexuality, and opened my eyes to the toxicity of our culture and family hierarchies. 

 

When I was growing up, I noticed how my uncles used to brag about how their sons were doing things that involved their sexuality. My relatives took these comments as jokes, but there was no such open conversation for women. 

 

I realized that there’s this belief from elders that women should not lose their virginity, but men should lose it right away. Women are constantly shamed for having sex, but men are always rewarded. Do those things matter? The concept of virginity should be gone, both for men and women. We should never be treated as lesser or greater because of our gender or sexuality.

 

You can never answer back. 

 

Lastly, younger people can’t respond to elders. It’s considered rude to talk back to elders, because they know better. Elders assume that when younger people answer back, it is a sign of disrespect. It isn’t. We are only expressing our opinions. 

 

Final thoughts: what should we do? 

 

Those are some of the brutal experiences I have experienced with elders, and there are more. How do we handle this kind of dysfunction? The answer is left for us to decide, but we should remember that mutual respect must come first.

 

 

Julia Magsombol is currently a journalism student from Edmonton, Canada, who desires to bring hope to people through her writing. When not writing or reading, you can catch her sewing clothes, painting nature and drinking instant coffee.

Festival Days

Prateek Sur (he/him/his), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

In a fast-paced and growing Indian society, we are becoming more and more westernised. I am not saying that it’s a bad thing, but the influence has creeped in so much that there are certain things which we now prefer to do like the westerners do, and the generations to follow would never know that that particular thing was never a part of Indian culture and traditions. Amidst all the changes to our lives that we make in our quest to become more “modern,” there is one thing that we Indians have consistently cherished with all our heart: our festivals!

 

I remember vividly that, during my childhood in the small town of Jamshedpur, India, every festival used to be celebrated with full fervour. Whether it was Republic Day, Holi, Eid, Independence Day, Ganesh Puja, Paryushan, Durga Puja, Dussehra, Kali Puja, Diwali, Christmas or New Year’s Day, we used to celebrate it with a lot of zest and fun. But as you grow older, you start getting bowed down with the burdens of responsibilities and soon that youthful energy of childhood celebrations fades out.

 

But these last two years, with the pandemic setting in and people not being able to venture outdoors that much, families have been forced to spend these festivals together. This has sort of brought back the days gone past. An era, which had hardly been stepped on since the past decade and a half, has suddenly been lit up once again.

 

I have personally not been able to spend that much time with my family during the festivals, because being a writer and a journalist, you’re usually working on those festival days. However, the last year and a half of the pandemic has prompted people like me to work from home, and thereby be at least present for the festivals with family. Even though I did work this time as well, I was at least in front of my family, and that itself is enough for an Indian family. We cling to the slightest glimmer of hope of being able to spend some family time together.

 

Also, the festivals help people like me, who were born and brought up in smaller towns and are now living in the metro cities, to get back to their roots. Even though we are not always able to go back to our hometowns, we are at least able to celebrate the festivities in the same way that we used to in our small towns, and therefore get a taste of nostalgia for those few days. For example, being a Bengali who is mostly vegetarian, I love to crave and binge on non-vegetarian food during the 10-day festivities of the Durga Puja. Also, I try to get the delicacies from authentic restaurants that prepare Bengali cuisine. It helps me get in touch with my childhood days of being in Jamshedpur.

 

Another major aspect of the festivals is the traditional attire. I love to sport traditional outfits on festival days. It not only helps me rekindle the festival spirit, but also helps me tell friends in Mumbai about different stories associated with wearing traditional outfits during my childhood days in Jamshedpur. The memories get relieved every year while talking to friends, neighbours and others.

 

What I absolutely love about the city of Mumbai is that its cosmopolitan crowd enjoys and celebrates every festival. Whether you’re a Punjabi or you’re a Bengali or you’re a Tamilian or you’re Odia or you’re Kashmiri or you’re Keralite or you’re Assamese, you will end up seeing a bunch of people ready to celebrate the same festival that you wish to. And the spirit of Mumbai is such that people who don’t even know about a certain regional festival come together and try to join in the celebration with their friends and neighbours. It’s a joyous coming together of different cultures. A mix of the good things of each regional festival leaves a mark of its own, and people end up remembering the occasion for life.

 

Another great aspect of the Indian festivals is that they help you connect with your far-off relatives. As a custom every year, on the day of Dussehra or Vijay Dashami, which is the last day of Durga Puja, I call up all my relatives and wish them a happy year ahead. I don’t need to do it, but I have seen my parents do it every year during my childhood, and it’s a custom that I have also followed. I know I should call up my relatives more often, but in the rat race of Mumbai’s city life, you’re bound to not get enough time for keeping up relationships. But on this day of Vijay Dashami, every year, I call up all my relatives. It’s like spending an entire evening with them all and reliving past memories. It helps me get to know where they are in their respective lives, how they’re doing, and if everyone is doing well health-wise. It makes me relive the childhood moments that I may have spent with each one of them, and it gives me a chance to just peek into the past for an evening and before returning to the reality of the busy city life.

 

I know we can’t run the wheel of time backwards and get back the good old childhood days, but whenever I do need to lay a limpid glance on my growing up years, these festivals definitely help me take the necessary peek. It’s as if the festivals are the time machine, and I just need to hop on it to get back to the times when adulthood had not yet creeped in and you’re still surrounded by the joys and pleasures of being a kid without any of the worldly worries of life.

 

 

My name is Prateek Sur and I am a daydreamer by birth, a mechanical engineer by chance, and an idiot by choice. A hardcore movie buff, working as a film critic and enjoying life as a Bollywood reporter. Helping people get through career troubles and giving advice from personal experiences. A voracious reader, and a passionate singer at heart. An extrovert at heart, and an introvert in the mind. Well, that chaos is pretty much me!

10 Rules to Survive Your European Family Christmas Party

Anna Bernsteiner (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

If you haven’t noticed, Christmas is around the corner. The smell of freshly baked cookies in the air, Christmas movies on TV and merry music coming from the radio. Ho ho ho, it’s gonna happen. Have you gotten all the presents yet?

Now, it doesn’t matter if you are a Christmas person or not, you won’t get around this one essential event.

Major. Super important.

It’s Christmas family dinner.

Oh yes, I remind you that it is socially EXPECTED that you attend, at least where I come from. Let me tell you how to survive a European family party – and I should know, I have survived many.

Being a guest invited to a Christmas party is very very rare, so feel extra special to get a look behind the curtains of this European family spectacle.

 

First and foremost, imagine it like this: it’s all nicely decorated, with a freshly cut Christmas tree with chocolate umbrellas, swiss chocolate balls, lights and ornaments that all match together. Eighteen individually wrapped presents sit under the tree, including grandma’s knitted socks, homemade brioche braids as big as your arm that taste like heaven and traditional fruit bread that only tastes good with apricot jam, if you ask me. Placed around the tree are two big, long dining tables, too many chairs to count — someone unpacked the patio furniture to get additional seating arrangements. The mountain range outside is not snowy because of climate change but greyish, and if you squint your eyes enough it looks like snow! Oh, it’s Christmas time. 

 

But food is the priority. If you ask anyone at the table why they are here, they will jokingly answer with, “Well, just for the food,” then laugh as if they’ve just made a really funny joke before conceding, “No, no, it’s so good to see you all.” 

Of course, this is all spoken in a language that even Google Translate doesn’t understand, so the FBI can’t listen in either. 

As I said, food is the absolute center of every European family. Why? Europeans love their food. They actually invented quite a lot of it, if you think about it. The Italians invented pasta, the Germans their sausages, the French their baguettes, the English well, baked beans for breakfast I guess, the Austrians the croissant . . . yes you read that right, Google it please, it’s true. Just a fact to throw in during your family dinner for distraction in case you need it 🙂 You are welcome. 

 

But let me just quickly give you an idea of why food is such an important part. First of all, we are talking about . . . Delicious. Homemade. European. Food . . . that a little kind grey-haired grandma just made by herself all morning long. With herbs that she froze from her own garden and eggs from the neighbor’s chickens, milk from the cows next door . . . you get the picture. You won’t ever taste anything like it. 

And that’s why everyone keeps showing up. But not just for the main dish. The desserts even get a separate little table.

Five — and I swear I am not exaggerating— ginormous cakes, each prettier than the last, are presented there in silent competition. Traditional chocolate cake, of course, next to something with lots of heavy cream, sugar, ladyfingers and rum. I won’t even bother describing it cause I could never do it justice. 

It’s always cake at this family party. After all, we love our pastries. 

 

And, as we are on the topic, I do believe every family has some basic types of characters attending their parties. The one uncle who always starts with politics and gets everyone into a heated discussion. The aunt that keeps pouring wine into everyone’s glasses without asking. A bunch of people sitting at the side not participating, the drunk cousin, and someone who just sits and observes all evening. And this observer is me. I know exactly how to survive that 6+ hour party. Trust me, you are in good hands. 

 

Rule Number 1: Start with staying in the background when entering the room, so you don’t have to shake 30 hands while making small talk about the weather and how much weight aunt Lilly lost. No, stay back, say hello to the people you sit with, and move on to Rule Number 2: Look for someone with good stories to get some laughs in. But remember Rule Number 3: Never make yourself the center of attention at this family party. 

 

Rule Number 4: The best tactic is to try and be first in line when it’s time to eat. Talk to grandma and casually wait until she announces that food is ready. There are 30 starving people behind you waiting, so you better put all you can on that plate and eat it. If you don’t eat it, somebody else will. 

 

Rule Number 5: Next, only one of the five cakes can be the most delicious. Figure out which one it is. Hire a cousin to help you taste test. Then cut a slice or two. Enjoy

 

Rule Number 6. The noise, you have to understand, will be astronomical. Prepare to be deaf for an hour after. The uncle discussing politics will start eventually, and you’d better be prepared for some real hardcore rock concert noise. These people have very loud voices to start with so imagine having to hit the table with your fist in order to get anyone’s attention. 

 

Rule Number 7: That takes me to my next point — sit somewhere where you can easily escape. Not right in the middle, next to relatives who can talk louder than a fire alarm. As I said, you don’t want to be the center of attention at any family party, and especially not with 29 relatives surrounding you. And the reason for that is simple: they know things about you that even you don’t know. 

 

Rule Number 8: In case you want to leave, don’t announce it or you won’t leave at all. Trust me, there will suddenly be so much to discuss about your life, childhood experiences and embarrassing moments. Which brings us to Rule Number 9: This is the reason why no one ever brings guests. 

 

There is an unspoken rule: Never bring a new boyfriend or girlfriend to family dinner unless the person can handle pressure, loud noises, screaming and answering questions to the satisfaction of a bunch of Europeans who all don’t agree with each other on anything but food. If you are vegetarian don’t come at all, or keep it a secret. Just don’t reveal too much while they pick you apart. 

 

And Rule Number 10: Come prepared! Have a drink or two beforehand, plan an excuse to leave and someone to pick you up, and grab as many chocolate umbrellas and swiss chocolate balls as you can before departing. 

 

And that’s it! Follow these rules and you are going to be alright and will easily survive any family party, unless . . .

Unless you are THE black sheep in the family. 

Then I just have one thing to say to you . . . Run. 

 

But this is all of course just a story, not at all based on actual people . . . well . . . who am I kidding, they can’t read this anyway. 

 

I hope your family party will be just as entertaining, with great food and great company — hopefully a little quieter, but just as jolly!

 

 

Hi, I’m Anna, I’m a student and I write blogs for Low Entropy. In my free time I like to explore new countries and cultures, try new foods, languages and meet new people, and I try to write interesting articles 🙂

Sibling Dynamics

MacKenzie Chalmers (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

The traditional idea of family has changed through our transforming society. Blended families are now common, creating various kinds of siblings: 

 

Full Siblings: Siblings who share the same biological parents. 

 

Half-Siblings: Siblings who only share one biological parent between them. 

 

Step-Siblings: Siblings who are children of different parents who have married. These siblings are not biologically related.

 

Adopted Siblings: Individuals who are the biological children of someone else, but have been legally adopted into a family with other children. They are not biologically related to the children in the adopting family.

 

Foster Siblings: Individuals who are raised by someone who is not their parent, alongside that parent’s children. 

 

Regardless of the type of sibling you have, similar sibling dynamics can be experienced. You could be the sibling that feels forgotten or invisible. You could be the sibling that feels a duty to protect the younger one. You could be the sibling that demands attention, or wants the attention to disappear. A sibling can be your best friend in life or your worst enemy. You may love spending time with them, or fight against them for everything. 

 

The evolution of siblings’ relationships over time can be represented in four general ways: 

 

  1. You are close when you are older, and distant when you are younger.
  2. You are close when you are younger, and distant when you are older.
  3. You have always been close growing up and as adults.
  4. You have never been close growing up and as adults.

 

In earlier years, the difference in age between siblings can significantly affect sibling relationships. A larger age gap can create distance between siblings, as you may lack shared experiences in the present.

 

Siblings who are very close in age, on the other hand, may struggle due to experiencing the same milestones at the same time. You may fight constantly, as both of you are living under the same roof or even share a room with one another, creating a lack of privacy and space. Tension might build, and all you might want is to be away from one another.

 

When siblings transition into adulthood, the dynamic can change. Both of you have left the family home and are in the process of forming new lives for yourselves. If you were close when you were younger, the process of post-secondary school, working new jobs, meeting new people and forming a new family can create a distance between siblings as communication decreases. In other cases, siblings can grow closer with age. You are not living together, and are able to enjoy each other’s company when you both desire. You can experience life on your own and get a new perspective on the other sibling when you do not have to see them every day. You can miss them now. Growing up, you may feel boxed in with your sibling, but now you might want to hear about their lives and ask them for their opinion and advice about situations you are both experiencing.

 

Age differences seem to be less noticeable as adults, and you can more easily bond over common interests and common experiences. Friendships can be formed despite age gaps.

 

The dynamic between siblings can be progressions of friendship, fighting, love and attention-seeking. They can be ever-changing relationships that should not be feared. If you are worried about the state of your relationship with your sibling – especially as adults – communication is key. There are many ways to communicate digitally if face-to-face is not possible. Video chatting and instant messaging are great tools. Pick up the phone and call them. You can be traditional and send them a hand-written letter. Let them know you are thinking of them.

 

Regardless of the state of your relationship with your sibling, they likely most understand your life, as they grew up with similar family dynamics. If it is possible to maintain a positive dynamic with your sibling, you’ll have a life-long friend with an irreplaceable familial bond. 

 

 

MacKenzie is a digital media enthusiast with interests in various aspects of media. She takes part in novel hunting, photo and video creating and creative writing.

Unloading Emotional Baggage: Family Friction

Sejin Ahn (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

What comes to your mind first when thinking about the word “family”?

 

Is it a shelter for you where you can rest and gain fresh energy? Or is it a place you want to escape from? Family seems to have a simple, single definition at first glance. But in reality, it has various connotations that are often very opposite from each other, and its complexity can give individuals heavy emotional baggage.

 

Emotional baggage from family can become a tangled thread you cannot untangle, turning into an unwelcome, lifelong friend. It can impact your journey through life, taking the lead and determining which direction you go, as well as the decisions you make.

 

Even though carrying emotional baggage can be impactful, most people do not even recognize its presence, especially when they are young. Failure to lighten emotional baggage can trap people in a loop of anger, helplessness and regret.

 

One of the very common forms of emotional baggage from family is feeling guilty and full of regret. As this phenomenon becomes more pervasive within our society, having the emotional baggage naturally starts to be treated as normal that is acceptable.

 

Parents design their children’s future, taking care of tons of things from the tiny little parts of life to the biggest ones. People who decide not to take the road their parents carved can feel like betrayers who have abandoned their family, even though they are not.

 

Here are some tips to let go of emotional baggage from family:

 

  1. Ask yourself who you are

To be aware of the emotional issues you face, you should know who you are and where you stand. Be curious about yourself, because the best way to prepare a solution to a problem is knowing the part you play in the process.

 

  1. Learn how to release your negative emotions

Emotional baggage involves various negative feelings – stress, anger, anxiety, sadness, regret and guilt. There are many ways to release your negative feelings. Researching healthy ones that work for you will allow you to not only to gain new, positive energy, but also give you time to refresh your mind and relax.

 

  1. Have conversations with your family

It is important to face problems with family. In modern society, lack of conversation between family members is a serious issue. Without communicating, people don’t know what others think and cannot develop a solution that works for everyone.

 

  1. Do what you want and what makes you happy

The most important part of letting go of the emotional baggage from family is to be yourself. The top priority in your life needs to be yourself. If you find something that makes you happier than ever, go for it and do your best to achieve your dream. Do not let others take control of your life.

 

My name is Sejin Ahn and I was born in South Korea, where I was raised for 20 years. I am a communication major at Simon Fraser University. I love looking at the world from various perspectives!

Only You

Bethany Howell (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

I was asked a lot throughout my childhood what it was like to have no siblings. An answer couldn’t easily be formed. “Well,” I would say, “How am I supposed to know?” How could I? I had never known anything else. I found the question silly, like asking a fish what it’s like to swim. When truly trying to answer this question, however, I would say I enjoyed being an only child. Overall, I was quite happy growing up, getting all of the gifts and being showered with affection at my request. Most of the time, I loved being the center of attention and I loved all that was given to me from family. I loved the relatives that adored me – their first grandchild. More children came along, of course, from uncles and aunts, and I was no longer the only one, but I would always be the first in my grandparents’ eyes. 

 

However, there were times when I wished I had a sibling. I was given all the blame, all the brunt of my family’s burdens in my youth; this was the main reason I envied my peers, as they had siblings to push into the spotlight. I remember sitting alone while my parents were out, wishing I had  a sibling simply with whom to play board games and talk about crushes. I guessed that a close friend would do, but I was lacking that as well.

 

I was asked once or twice about why I am an only child and whether my parents had tried (and failed) to have more children. What a personal question that was, looking back, if not for me, for my mother. What if it were a medical condition? What if she only had me through extreme pain and suffering? Up until recently, I had believed my mom to have struggled with fertility in my youth, simply because of the number of times I had been told that that was probably the reason I was alone. Along with this, my father had told me it took years to have me – a lie to make me feel unworthy. He would hold above my head the pain my mother went through during labour, during childbirth, and dealing with an infant. I only realize as an adult that this too was manipulation and that he had never offered to help her. My father never truly raised me; my mother had raised me for the both of them, and that is something for which I look up to her.

 

For a long time, I did not plan on having children; I didn’t want to bring children into a bad world, and I realize now that is what my mother tried to avoid as well. But I also know that not having me would have been a waste of her love. Her role as a mother is one she took on with pride and with skill. Each day I think about all I am grateful for, and she is always at the top of my list. I see now that I too want to be like her. 

 

As I consider having children of my own, I ask myself the same question my mother was faced with – how many children should I have? My mother chose to not have another after me to save them from the pain that she found my father pushed onto me. I have no doubt in my mind that what she did was right. She did not want to bring someone into the world to feel pain. She, however, failed to account for another aspect of my early life – her influence. Her love for me was insurmountable and unimaginably vast. She saved me from so much, if not my father and my environment, then myself, and I love her more than I can express. I want to raise a child (or children), yes, in a world filled with inequality and pain, but in a bubble of my warmth and care. I want to adore my child(ren) the way I was adored. Though my younger self would disagree, life is worth the bad simply to experience the good and I would like to share that.

 

 

My name is Bethany Howell and I am a third-year university student majoring in psychology and minoring in family and child studies. I have a passion for writing and mental health and my ultimate goal since age 13 has been to make a difference in the world through helping others, which is how I ended up here at Low Entropy!

Twin B

Cristina Crescenzo (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

“What is it like being a twin?” is the question I get asked second-most often, after “What is it like being disabled while your sister is able-bodied?” Those questions are pretty loaded, so I just try to give the simplest answer I can: it’s not easy. From the moment you and your twin are brought into this world, you are labeled with the letters A and B, depending on which one of you made it out first. To most people, I am sure a simple hospital protocol like this wouldn’t seem like a big deal, but I took this label to heart and wore it on my sleeve, telling myself it was my fate to be second best. Looking back on my 21 years, I see it had nothing to do with my sister and more to do with my own insecurities that couldn’t help but be fostered as I struggled with daily life as a girl with cerebral palsy.

 

Being a twin felt like being in a constant competition, but it was one where I was only playing against myself. I also want to make it clear that my sister is the most important thing in my life, and I can say that because she doesn’t hold my resentments against me. She knows that my life has extra challenges that I didn’t ask for, so instead of fighting against me in this pointless race, she takes care of me and makes me want to become the best version of myself. However, I would be lying if I said that traces of jealousy don’t still linger. How could they not? My sister said to me once, “Having a twin is like having another you roam the earth, and it’s almost like you are witnessing an alternate version of your life.”

 

We may have the same face, but that doesn’t mean everything is bound to match. It is because of our different circumstances that we were given our own personalities and interests. Thus, the things we got to experience in life were not even close to being a mirror image. For instance, when my sister got to ride her bike, I was doing my weekly physiotherapy, and in high school while she was eating lunch with her friends, I was leaving school to go to counseling for my depression and anxiety. All in all there were some really good moments and some that were really bad. I was so happy growing up with a built-in best friend to hang out with and then,when we got older, I was really sad when I could no longer tag along with her. She had made her own friends. I couldn’t just steal them away and she was doing activities that my social anxiety found challenging. 

 

In conclusion, I am still struggling with the same problems, like believing that she is better than me or that there are moments in life she will have that I feel can’t ever have, such as getting a boyfriend or driving a car. The important part is that I have learned to slowly quiet these thoughts of inadequacy, but it’s still a work in progress. I couldn’t say being a twin is hard for everyone, but I would hope that every twin learns to cherish the unbreakable bond they were blessed with, and just forget about the alphabet.

 

 

My name is Cristina Crescenzo and I am a 21 year old English major at Capilano University with hopes of eventually writing YA novels and spreading disability and mental health awareness.

Unless

Anna Bernsteiner (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Yesterday I didn’t get out of my bed at all.

I stared at the ceiling.

And it looked like I was still, doing nothing 

When actually there were thousands of conversations and words 

Floating through my mind

so I was paralyzed and had to listen to them scream.

 

Time felt worthless and so the days passed

And another one and another one and many more after. 

And this would have gone on for eternity 

Sadness and depression can eat you alive 

 

Unless . . .

There is something in you that wants to move. 

Unless . . .

There is something that wants to run, dance, laugh

Unless

there is something that will fight 

 

All you need is a beating heart

And a fighting soul

To rebuild your life. 

Nothing can stop you

Not grief, not pain, not depression

 

You are in control of your reality

You can 

You will. 

 

So today I got out of bed in the morning. 

It took me all the strength I had 

But I made it

And so will you. 

 

 

Hi, I’m Anna, I’m a student and I write blogs for Low Entropy. In my free time I like to explore new countries and cultures, try new foods, languages and meet new people, and I try to write interesting articles 🙂

 

Discomfort

Terence MacLaine (he/him/his), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Comfort.

 

We all seek it. We all want to be comfortable. But what about DIScomfort? Is it a bad thing? Is it always undesirable? Our brains, for the most part, are conditioned to regard words with “dis” preceding them to be negative. And often, if only subconsciously, anything negative is looked upon unfavorably. But is it so with discomfort?

 

Let’s examine some scenarios.

 

Scenario number one:

 

Kyle is 23, single, and has difficulty forming meaningful relationships. He has squandered many opportunities because of the uncertainty of the outcome. Like most of us, he wishes it was simple, but in his mind, he figures he faces at least a 50 per cent chance of rejection. It is this fear that has held Kyle back. The fear of stepping out of his own comfort zone. He realizes he is being held back by his unwillingness to leave his comfort zone and has decided to try something different.

 

Kyle works with Erin, who is also single. He enjoys working with her and wants to get to know her outside of the office. He has envisioned all kinds of scenarios in which to approach her, but he has yet to act on it. Kyle is at a crossroads. 

 

He realizes he can either risk feeling uncomfortable by asking Erin out, or continue to wonder what might have been. Kyle eventually asks Erin out for coffee, and she accepts. 

 

In this instance, Kyle is rewarded by facing discomfort, which in turn has the added benefit of helping him grow as a person as well.

 

Scenario number two:

 

Winnie has been with her company for over three years. Like Kyle, she too is at a crossroads. She feels she deserves a raise, yet is afraid to upset her boss by asking for one. Winnie has also noticed she is beginning to feel unrecognized for all her hard work and has come to the conclusion that the only way for her to move forward is to ask for a raise, or continue to languish away. She knows that in order for her to succeed, she will need to be uncomfortable.

 

Winnie ultimately decides to ask for a raise and is rewarded for her efforts. Once again, we see discomfort as a motivating factor. Discomfort, like any other fear, can be a healthy thing.

 

It is nature’s way of telling us we are in dangerous or unfamiliar territory. But it can also be the springboard for growth. Personal growth. This is to take nothing away from comfort, as it too has its purpose. But too much comfort can also be dangerous, for if there is no struggle, there is no growth. No progress. 

 

Ultimately, it comes down to your perception of discomfort, and how you choose to approach it. You can try to avoid it whenever possible. But at what cost? Or, you can use it as an opportunity to better yourself.

 

As the saying goes: do something once a day that scares you.

 

Do it twice when it doesn’t.

 

 

Terence MacLaine is a writer and blogger from Vancouver, BC. He has a lifetime of experiences set against the backdrop of beautiful British Columbia, and brings his stories to the world in his blog, The Adventures of Yesteryear (theadventureofmemories.wordpress.com).

Dating in the 21st Century

Terence MacLaine (he/him/his), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Back in the day, we didn’t have apps like Tinder, Bumble, etc . . .

 

If you wanted to meet someone, you had to make the effort of actually going outside & socializing with others where/when you would learn the art of human interaction & social cues like manners, body language, courtesy, etc . . .

 

But to form relationships, you had to go out to social gatherings like clubs, bars & parties.

 

Today, we see and treat each other as little more than items. And not as in: “You two are an item.” I mean literally as items that we select off a shelf from a grocery store with no more consideration than the price. 

 

This is the average date today: Swipe till you like. You both match. Text to meet. Meet at their place. Ghost. Next, please . . .

 

It’s that simple. And that tragic. 

 

This ghosting thing, that’s the real watermark of today. Part of the cost of a relationship, or just hookup, used to be the breakup scene. You (some at least) had to consider the feelings of the other person if/when you didn’t want to see the other person anymore. You had to call them, or at least leave them a note the next morning, but there was some personal accountability at least.

 

Now, you simply ghost with no consideration of the other person’s feelings, simply because it’s easier. No thought of what or how the other person may feel. They have no way of knowing what they did wrong. Or if you’re even alive. You could have been in an accident, or run over – who knows? But rather than considering the feelings of the other person, we just instantly cut the line, sometimes causing YEARS of emotional scarring. All because you couldn’t be bothered.

 

No wonder the world is such a mess today. How can we be happy when we treat each other like that? When our socializing & interacting with each other is reduced to words on a phone, how could it possibly get worse? We’ve taken the human out of humanity & replaced it with algorithms. We ARE the machine.

 

I leave you then with one last scenario, witnessed by yours truly a few years ago. A local coffee shop was hosting a singles day, which on the surface seemed like a great idea. I happened to walk by & saw the shop was pretty much full with every seat taken. Obviously, the idea was a success. 

 

I looked in & what I saw was people sitting across from each other, each and every one of them texting with someone instead of interacting with the person sitting across from them.

 

At no time have we ever been more connected.

 

And yet, at no time have we ever been so alone.

 

Terence MacLaine is a writer and blogger from Vancouver, BC. He has a lifetime of experiences set against the backdrop of beautiful British Columbia, and brings his stories to the world in his blog, The Adventures of Yesteryear (theadventureofmemories.wordpress.com).

Words

Anna Bernsteiner (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

I have been writing my whole life. When I was seven I wrote a story about five cat superheroes who saved the world. It never got to be the bestseller I wanted it to be, but it makes me laugh out loud when I look at it now. 

 

I always just wanted to get all the words out of my head. You see, I, like so many others in this social media society, think way too much. If you could hear what’s going on in there you would understand. So since I can write, I write. I don’t really think I’m particularly good at it, but it makes me calm and feel like anything is possible. Because paper is patient. And I don’t need to filter what I write, I can just go for it. Everything that comes out lands on that white piece of paper. It’s patient and not very judgmental.

 

I have written stories with 200 pages and sometimes poems that have just one line. I have tried writing about events that are true and about things that aren’t. I moved the lines, created, destroyed, switched languages. You name it, I have tried it. 

 

So I’m just following the words that my head arranges and bringing them to paper. One word at a time. You don’t need to be particularly good at something to do it. If it makes you happy, go for it. 

 

And every time I start, I feel a little bit better afterward. The plan was to create a range of words that people would enjoy. I used to want to write a bestseller, and now I’m just excited if one person is touched by what I write. And that person, most of the time, is my mum and sometimes my dad, and that makes my day.

 

Recently the world went upside down and a range of events in my life left me wordless. Something that I have never experienced before. The words used to flow out like water in a stream but there was nothing. Just like people were leaving, the words did too. And I didn’t write for months. They took my words away.  

 

Of course, I could have sat down and started writing random words but I had no story, nothing to say, no excitement like I used to. And it took a long time to finally get back to where I left off. 

 

So why am I writing this now? For no reason at all but for you to see that words are powerful. Out in the world, in a group, on paper or spoken from one person to another. What you say or write will be repeated inside some minds multiple times. Words can destroy or rebuild. 

 

Words can make a big difference. They do for me.

 

 

Hi, I’m Anna, I’m a student and I write blogs for Low Entropy. In my free time I like to explore new countries and cultures, try new foods, languages and meet new people, and I try to write interesting articles 🙂

Lines in the Sand

Kanak Khatri, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Have you ever thought, “That was too much. It was unfair, toxic and just not something that I deserved?”

 

I have felt the same. The 28-year-old me really wants to go back in time and help the 12-year-old, 13-year-old and so many other past versions of me draw boundaries and stand up for themselves, because they did not know any better.

 

Now that I know how important setting boundaries is, I want to spread the message. However, I really want to go back in time and gauge why I was having difficulty. Well, the reasons were simple: I was not educated by my teachers or parents, nor was I confident and mature enough to develop that kind of wisdom on my own. I was taught, and thought, this is how it is, I guess I must suffer. And so there I was, in a repetitive cycle of lacking the confidence to keep people from pushing my limits, which in turn further deteriorated my confidence.

 

For people who find this whole scenario a little too familiar, it’s time to set those boundaries straight and strong, such that people become afraid of even being tempted to put your limits to the test. Initially, it might seem like an impossible task, but it might help to start by saying no to the people who seem to take advantage of you, are toxic to you or are bullying you.

 

For instance, say no to that person who only remembers you when they need a favour. And that person who tells you are not good enough, tell them that you are good enough, for yourself and for the people who love you. Slowly but surely you all will find yourself surrounded by healthy boundaries. For me, my manager does not bother me unnecessarily, because well, she got an answer when she did. People think twice before messing with me. My mother, to date, tells me to not get into arguments even for the right reasons, but I guess I grew out of the beliefs that were ingrained in me as a child.

 

Please, please and please, teachers and parents, inculcate healthy boundaries in young minds from the start. Help them be more confident and realise their full potential. And to anyone reading this who does not struggle with boundaries, please be kind. Let’s build a world where we empower each other.

 

To my warriors out there, defend your boundaries, make people scared to mess with you. You don’t owe your life to anybody else. You owe it to yourself to keep yourself happy and healthy by setting happy, healthy boundaries: you can do it.

 

Leave your thoughts for Kanak in the comments below better yet, start up a dialogue with the Low Entropy community in person at a Conscious Connections meeting or online at our community site. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and YouTube to stay up-to-date with Low Entropy news!

The Problem with Goodbyes

Bethany Howell (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

I have always had trouble letting go. For as long as I can remember, I have held onto the past far too tightly, distracting me from the present. Saying goodbye has been especially difficult for me: the finality of it was far too much for my naïve mind to take. Once someone was gone, there could be no more conversations, no more gentle touches, no more time spent in each other’s company. I can recall doing just about anything I could think of to be able to spend five more minutes with my best friend or one more night at summer camp. Yet, no matter how hard I fought, I would always end up having to say goodbye through tear-clouded eyes.

 

Leaving was tough, not only because the good times were over, but also because I knew they would always be held within my memory. I could replay the time I had over and over in my mind, yet I could never truly relive it. As time marches on, memory fades. What used to be recalled in vibrant colour dulls with each passing year. However, with this, the wounds left by those who had bid farewell began to heal. Scars remained, but the pain subsided.

 

As I grew, I began to accept the small losses, but I was still unable to shrug off the greater issues. I lost my closest friend nearly a year ago. She had chosen to become involved with situations that hurt her and left me when I could no longer support her. I wish I could say that I never blamed myself, but to do so would be a lie. I spent months gathering evidence for what I had done wrong – reversing time in my mind and replaying scenarios to figure out how to ‘fix it.’ There was, of course, no way to resolve this issue. My family and my partner assured me that I had done the best I could and that I held on longer than most friends would have, yet I still hung onto what had happened, never letting myself forget the small mistakes I had made.

 

I realize now that it was never really saying goodbye that I had an issue with, nor was it losing those close to me. The hardest part was what was left after the fact. The hardest part was knowing that it will never really be over and that the goodbye was not the grand finale I had hoped for.

 

Love haunts us. It leaves remnants of itself on everything it touches. I know now that certain books, films, even clothes still bear the name of those who have already said their goodbyes. I cannot help but be reminded of those who have hurt me and those who had to leave far too soon, but I can choose to not let it affect me negatively. Life will always be filled with memories, both good and bad. It is a curse, yes, but it is also one of the greatest parts of living. Without the bad memories, how could we learn? Without the good, for what would we be living?

 

To truly live in the present, one has to let go of the past. That does not mean totally forgetting what has occurred, but instead remembering and accepting it. Memories may have the power to overtake us, but we also have the power to use them. I am still working towards accepting what happened between myself and my friend; however, I am no longer ashamed of what I did. Though it is a small step, I am proud of myself for trying to improve. 

 

Life can be difficult to navigate, especially when you are carrying years of baggage, but there is always hope and I am choosing to focus on the good. I do not plan on dropping all the weight of what has occurred, but I do try to lighten the load day by day. After all, acceptance is a process, not a sudden state of being. Though I am no expert on this topic by any means, I can honestly recommend acceptance of the past and focus on the present to anyone struggling with letting go.

 

 

My name is Bethany Howell and I am a third-year university student majoring in psychology and minoring in family and child studies. I have a passion for writing and mental health and my ultimate goal since age 13 has been to make a difference in the world through helping others, which is how I ended up here at Low Entropy!

Use Discomfort

Amy Mueller, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

I wish I could say discomfort was a foreign feeling. I wish I could say I haven’t sat on my couch, coffee in hand, rain bouncing off the concrete outside, with a deep gnawing ache in what feels like my soul. As I sit, a million thoughts racing through my head. How did I get here? What’s next? How will I get there? When do I start? How do I start? I am no expert, but like you, I am human. Perhaps you too have felt this feeling and had these thoughts. If so, I hope you are on the other side now. And if you are not, I have some comforting news. You are not alone and good things will come of this.

 

There are a plethora of situations that may lead us here. Perhaps you have recently lost your job, a loved one or a relationship. Or maybe you are wondering if you are happy where you are and are trying to figure out what comes next for you. Or your discomfort may be unrelated to any of these things. Maybe it is the pandemic and what feels like the polarization of the world. Maybe it is related to everyday circumstances. Maybe you are going through a particularly challenging time for none of these reasons. Wherever you are at, your reasons for feeling this way are valid. And if you find yourself relating to any of these feelings, I hope these next words are the most comforting ones you read today: You will not always feel this way. These days are temporary. They won’t last forever. This too shall pass. And somewhere deep down, while cliché, we know these words are true. They offer comfort and remind us of our strength. And sometimes that is exactly what we need.

 

I cannot promise working through your discomfort will be easy. I cannot promise it will be simple, linear or straightforward. It will be uncomfortable. But it is temporary. What I can promise you are two things: 1. You have experienced great challenges in your life outside of this. And just as you have before, you will overcome this too. You already possess the strength and tools you need to navigate this. 2. If you are being challenged, you are learning, and growth is taking place.

 

The difficult part of realizing the value in our discomfort is that we must move through it in order to get past it. I know that is not the news you wanted. In order to work through our hurt, pain, challenges, grief and every other difficult feeling/emotion, we must decide that the benefit of working through the tough stuff is greater than the comfort of remaining as we are. I can assure you, your future self will thank you for putting the work in. The path to get past discomfort, hurt and pain is through it. It’s tough, it sucks, it hurts and it is painful. You need to let yourself feel all of these things. Cry it out. Journal about it. Take deep breaths. Meditate. Talk to someone you trust. Ask for help. Make a commitment to yourself that you will do what it takes to move past where you are right now. Go slow. Be gentle with yourself. Give yourself permission to be here and be okay with it. Accept that this is a journey and it takes time. Breathe. Take things one day at a time. Take things one moment at a time if that is all you can manage right now. You will have good days. You will have hard days. You will make progress and you will take steps back. This is all part of healing and overcoming. You don’t know it yet, but this is where your strength comes from.

 

There is no time limit and there is no prescribed amount of time it will take to work through this uncomfortable place. Remember, you have the strength to navigate this situation. You possess the courage and tools you need to get to the other side. While being here, I hope every now and then you pause and reflect. Take a moment to look back at how far you have come. You will see that, as time goes on, you gain perspective. You will see things more clearly and realize things about your situation and yourself that you couldn’t see before. You will soon see things in a new light. These things are important and I hope you recognize that these are your moments of growth. In your discomfort, you will gain strength and you will gain resilience.

 

My hope is that through this process you realize, while difficult to navigate at times, discomfort is necessary to reach our true potential. It serves to show us who we really are and what we really want out of this life, and it helps put our priorities into perspective. As we continue this life journey and inevitably encounter discomfort along the way, I hope instead of resisting, you embrace it, as you recognize this feeling as growth taking place. I wish you peace, grace, compassion and strength as you navigate your journey. While it may feel as if you are on this journey alone, remind yourself: we are all navigating our own journeys, together.

 

 

Leave your thoughts for Amy in the comments below better yet, start up a dialogue with the Low Entropy community in person at a Conscious Connections meeting or online at our community site. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and YouTube to stay up-to-date with Low Entropy news!

The Future . . . and How to Look Forward to It

Tristan Goteng (he/him/his), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

The future. It is such a common term, yet it is so complex and difficult to wrap our heads around because we don’t quite understand what the future is. We don’t know what is planned for us in the future, if we can alter fate, or if the future even exists at all. That unknown causes humans to be anxious and fearful about the future. Thinking about the future is addictive, and it is hard to stop worrying. But constantly focusing on the future pulls our attention away from what is more important: the present. 

 

While I am no expert in psychology and I definitely haven’t invented a time machine, I do know some strategies to fight against the stress of the future. Every person is different, so some methods I will mention will for sure work for you, and others might not. But I have to warn you right now that the solutions in this blog aren’t just a one-time thing. Changing away from fearing the future requires dedication, reflection and mental consciousness. Don’t worry though! Even if it may seem difficult and tedious, it really isn’t. It just takes some time to get used to, but once you make a habit of these methods, you won’t notice it anymore! Hopefully, by the end of this blog, you will have learned how to avoid having fear of the future, and in turn, live your life with less stress and more joy! 

 

Alright, so where do we start? Well, I think we need to first clarify that we are not forgetting about the future. Rather, it is about not overthinking it. Avoiding the future completely doesn’t help, because it just makes every moment an unprepared panic. That is why I recommend creating two planners: one yearly calendar for important events, and one weekly/daily planner for routines and specific details. The key to this is organization. Being organized without being obsessed over the future is very important to reducing fear. Organization is knowing ahead of time what you have to do; it is planning ahead so everything goes smoothly and then leaving it be. Being obsessed is planning ahead, but then constantly thinking about your schedule or being scared that you might forget something. So how do we move away from obsession and towards organization? We write things down. Once it is on paper or your phone, it stays, so unless something needs to be desperately reordered, leave it be. That way you aren’t scared about forgetting something because it is right there in front of you like a checklist. You don’t need to doubt it because your whole day, week, even year is planned and everything will work out just as scheduled.

 

Maybe you aren’t the forgetful type, and missing out on something isn’t the reason you are scared of the future. It could be that not knowing the outcome of things causes you to fear. I can relate, because I honestly don’t know which university/college I will study at. Will I be accepted to any school? Did I do enough? What am I doing wrong? All I have to say here is to work hard. Do your best in everything you do, no matter how large or small the task is. Then you don’t have to worry, because no matter what the outcome will be, you’ll know in your heart you did all you could do, and there was nothing more that could change the results. More often than not, if you try your hardest, you will be rewarded with the outcome you wish for. However, sometimes the desired outcome simply is unattainable, and that will be easier to accept if you gave your all to it. You couldn’t control the events that happened any further, so let it be. I can promise you, once the results come in, whether good or bad, if you put your best foot forward, then you will live without regrets. 

 

If you aren’t forgetful, and you aren’t worried about the outcomes of the future, then the third most common fear of the future relates to time. Time is always ticking away, and it always feels like there is a shortage of time. We all know that the amount of time for humans is limited, and we never know when we have run out. This is probably the biggest fear in most people, and it can really take a toll on your mental health. How do we deal with this? The answer is actually more simple than you may think. Take the time to do things that you enjoy. Spend time with your family, complete your bucket list. Use the time you have and live life to the fullest. Yes, you may be thinking, “But I don’t have enough time to do these things!” You may have work, or school, or something else to do. This is why you should practice the first solution. Manage your time, and set some time aside to do enjoyable things, because you don’t want to have any regrets. You don’t have to worry about fulfilling your purpose if you take advantage of every second you have. 

 

So plan your schedule and write it down. Always work hard, no matter what you do. Make use of all the time available, and set time aside to do what you want to do before it runs out. Try them all, see which ones relate to you, and live a stress-free and fulfilling life!

 

The future can be scary, so let’s change that together. 

 

 

My name is Tristan Goteng, and I am currently a high school student studying at St.George’s Senior School. I love writing and helping others overcome common obstacles that block us from growing!

The Weight of Expectations

Julia Magsombol (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

As I’m writing this right now, I tend to wonder if this piece will be good enough for the reader’s expectations. 

 

It’s been a few days since I’ve had free time. I’ve been swamped with all my university projects and other work. I barely have time to talk to people and mingle with my family at home. I mostly lose track of time, as I have a lot of things to do. I have a lot of things to write. 

 

And with all these responsibilities, I tend to ask myself, “What do you want to achieve, Julia? What are your expectations?”

 

My expectations change every year. I tend to be confused about the things I really want.

 

I knew I wanted to be in the fashion industry when I was still in high school. I expected to take fashion courses when I reached university. I expected my work to be on runways when I got older. But those expectations are all gone, as my family does not want me to pursue those dreams. They expect me to take different courses, such as nursing, dentistry, or anything else that’s not associated with art. Sadly, I dropped my dream and never pushed the expectations that I longed for.

 

As I reached the end of high school, I wanted to be a writer. I was still unsure then, but that was my main goal. I decided to take journalism in university. After all, journalism is a degree and my family pretty much accepted it. 

 

During my first year, I thought that all my challenges were done. I expected that, once I finally got into university, I was going to be okay. I expected to just get my degree and prove something to my family. I could move on to the next phase of my life afterward. But it didn’t work like that. I faced failures and self–doubt. Now, in my third year of university, I’ve had to throw away those expectations again, as this phase of my life didn’t work as I expected. 

 

I told myself during those times that I would be working as a journalist by the time I reached my senior year of university. I expected to be a successful writer. I expected to be very different from other writers out there. Employers would get back to me after interviews and turn me down for jobs for two reasons: they said I wasn’t qualified, and that I’m not a good writer. Several of my editors, professors and colleagues were not pleased with all the pieces I wrote. I would rewrite and rewrite, over and over again. There are a lot of better writers out there who I couldn’t compare to. I threw out my expectations again, like a useless scratch paper into the trash can. 

 

I realized that I’ve been throwing out a lot of expectations. And it all feels like a scam. Every day you set expectations for yourself. You have motivations and plans. It feels good, and it’s comforting. But if none of your expectations work, you might doubt yourself. You might criticize yourself for all the expectations you made, when you expect something but never get it. I guess that’s life and it isn’t always fair for many of us. 

 

So now I ask myself, “What do you want to achieve, Julia? What are your expectations now? Should you still expect anything? What expectations do I still have?”

 

In the end, I realized that we all have different expectations in life. The expectations I have might conflict with other people’s expectations. The expectations I set for myself changed because of the expectations of other people. I set my expectations according to others’ expectations. So what’s good about expectations? 

 

It’s hard to grasp all these ideas, but I had this vision:

 

Maybe I should dream instead. Dream without expectations. Just dream. Don’t think about people’s expectations. Just mind your own business: make your dreams into reality. 

 

I realized that I can never meet anyone’s expectations because I am me. And that’s enough, as long as I’m doing my best and I have a reason to do things. It’s all enough. 

 

I hope I and others can live with this vision soon, without regrets. 

 

 

Julia Magsombol is currently a journalism student from Edmonton, Canada, who desires to bring hope to people through her writing. When not writing or reading, you can catch her sewing clothes, painting nature and drinking instant coffee.

There for a Reason

Elizabeth Atkinson, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

There is so much pressure to succeed and make use of every hour of the day – but at what cost? 

 

Living as a young disabled person, knowing my limits has become a survival technique. With fibromyalgia, overexertion can cause flare-ups that can be detrimental and throw a wrench into future plans. It is not always easy to stay true to your limits. There can be a lot of pressure to physically keep up with your able-bodied friends and family. This can be something as simple as walking at a pace you are not comfortable with, just to keep up with your friends who don’t need to worry about conserving their energy on a short walk. Feeling safe emotionally by being able to voice these limits is key. The people around you will understand, and hopefully accommodate the limits you have set for yourself. 

 

However, it is not just disabled people who need to know their limits. It seems more and more these days people are being praised for “the grind” and while I am a fan of hard work and a strong work ethic, working to the point of exhaustion is just not healthy. People seem to be running on empty, as if their check engine light is on but they aren’t taking the time to look under the hood and find the root of the problem.

 

Limits aren’t just physical. Limits are there for a reason, whether they are physical or emotional. Knowing your emotional limits is key for setting boundaries. Personally, I have had to set limits with my family about them talking to me about my weight. I have had to set that boundary with them as it was causing my mental health to deteriorate and causing a strain on an otherwise absolutely beautiful relationship. By setting this boundary, and knowing my limits with my family, I was able to preserve something amazing. 

 

As previously mentioned, there can be a lot of pressure to forgo your limits in order to make life easier for the people around you. This, however, will not serve you in the long run as you become run-down. Emotionally setting limits and sticking to them is potentially even harder than setting and maintaining physical limits. 

 

In my opinion, pushing your limits is always overrated because limits are there for a reason, and that reason is to protect you. Staying true to your limits is a good way to ensure a happier, less stressful and more energized future for yourself.

 

 

Leave your thoughts for Elizabeth in the comments below better yet, start up a dialogue with the Low Entropy community in person, at a Conscious Connections meeting or online at our community site. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and YouTube to stay up-to-date with Low Entropy news!

Fear Less

Grace Cheng (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Being afraid is quite common among all of us, including myself, and it is completely normal. Fear of the unknown is a universal problem. Fear can be an essential survival instinct: as we attempt to survive life’s different struggles, our bodies watch over us with emotions like fear. Anytime we can sense any sort of danger, our bodies send a warning sign to our brains to engage fight-or-flight responses.

 

Have you ever felt that fear has held you back from doing things that you want to do and reaching your goals and dreams? I believe that overcoming fears is a life skill that everyone needs to learn. If we do not face and overcome our fears, it can prevent us from following our dreams and paralyze us from moving forward in our lives.

 

Want to know how you can overcome your fears? I have discovered 10 practical ways for you to tackle your fears.

 

1. Acknowledge your fears

 

The first step in overcoming your fears is to acknowledge your fears. When you have acknowledged them, you are beginning the journey of addressing the potential roadblocks that prevent you from moving forward in life. After you have acknowledged your known fears, you can start to learn how you can cope with them.

 

2. Identify what kind of fears you are facing

 

To be able to conquer your fears, you need to identify what kind of fears you are facing. You will need to ask yourself the following question: What kind of things are you afraid of? It is a good idea to write down all the things that scare you and record your feelings and thoughts about them. Once you have identified your fears, you can have a better understanding of why you do things a certain way and what is holding you back.

 

3. Face your fears

 

Bear in mind that when something seems scary, it does not always mean it is going to be a massive risk to your life. You should try to face your fears by taking small steps, and gradually you will be able to decrease your anxiety level. Keep in mind that there is always more than one way to tackle your fears.

 

4. Do the things that you fear

 

Once you understand that fear is just a feeling, you can take control of your life and do the things that scare you. The feeling of fear cannot destroy or hurt you, so you have a choice to ignore it and go forward. After you analyze the pros and cons of a situation, you might realize that the possibility of a negative result is minimal. If you are not acting recklessly in your decision-making, there is nothing that can stop you from moving forward to overcome your fears.

 

5. Turn your fears into fuel for personal development

 

Overcoming your fears can be seen as a way for self-improvement and personal development. Once you have tackled your fears, it can open doors for you to better opportunities. If you want to cope with your fears, you need to allow yourself time to grow. You can use your fear as leverage to help you achieve your goals and fulfill your dreams and destiny.

 

6. Think positive

 

Thinking positively can be a powerful tool to break through your fears. It takes time to see good results, and you might have to face failures in your first few trials. But if you keep yourself positive and stay focused on your goals and dreams, you will eventually see the results that you are looking for.

 

7. Join a support group

 

It is helpful to find a support group and ask people who have experienced similar situations to see how they have managed and overcome their fears and anxiety. You can learn a lot from them, especially through hearing their stories and experiences. A support group is a great way to encourage each other and brainstorm new ways to conquer fears.

 

8. Try mediation

 

Mediation can be a great method to overcome your fears and anxiety because it allows you to find inner peace to manage mental stress. Once you can relax, it will be easier for you to reduce your fears, anxiety and everyday stress.

 

9. Exercise regularly

 

Doing exercise regularly can help us to relax our bodies and minds, thus decreasing our fears and anxiety. Yoga can be a good exercise, because it can help us lower our blood pressure, reducing our stress and fears.

 

10. Take action

 

You must take action to tackle your fears, because action is the only way to change your life. Your life is made up of the choices you make today, and changes only happen when you change. Once you conquer your fears, you will realize how much progress you made and can start to live a more fulfilling life.

 

Are you ready to take action to overcome your fears today?

 

 

Grace has an accounting and finance background. She enjoys reading, writing, listening to music, watching movies and playing sports.

Managing Fear

MacKenzie Chalmers (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

As individuals, the experience of fear may determine our next steps in our journeys. We fear objects, people, experiences or change. We fear the unknown. Fear draws on our emotions, often creating feelings of panic to rise within our bodies. It can result in avoidance of the reason for the fear. 

 

As children, we may have feared the dark, the monsters in our closets or underneath our beds, or the basement.  

 

We fear change. Change in our home, lives, school or daily activities. 

 

We fear failure. Receiving bad grades, losing a competition or game, or losing out on an opportunity can result in feeling like you have failed. 

 

We fear the unknown. The potential to lose someone close to us, whether they are a family member, friend or family pet, is a factor that can create anxiety from the unknown. 

 

These are all ways that fear becomes present within us, growing until it begins to affect our daily lives. Sometimes we can grow out of a fear, and sometimes we cannot. 

 

Some steps to overcome fear: 

 

Think about the fear. 

 

Take a moment and think about the fear that you are experiencing. Are you about to do something that could cause an injury if done wrong? Perhaps you are about to learn how to ride a bike or skate for the first time, or are learning how to drive a car. You may be scared of getting hurt or hurting someone else, causing you to fear that activity. Think about the fear and make an attempt to understand the fear. 

 

If possible, educate yourself about the fear. 

 

You may be taking part in an activity such as skydiving, bungee jumping or ziplining, or riding a new rollercoaster at an amusement park. The activity itself can appear scary due to the height or another risk factor. However, complete as much research as possible. Research the safety measures of each activity. Research written material, watch videos from others sharing their own experiences, ask people that you may know about their own experience with those activities. Research the fear in any form that is available and you can create comfort within yourself, eliminating the fear.  

 

Prepare and practice. 

 

If it is possible, practice before taking part in the activity that is creating the fear. For example, you may fear public speaking. Read aloud to yourself, practicing your speech, and then slowly ask people to listen to you speak, increasing the amount of people in order to gain comfort in others watching and listening to you. 

 

Choose the right crowd. 

 

People can motivate you. Surround yourself with people who will push you to complete the activity that is making you fearful. Choose people who will support you and try to comfort and reassure you. 

 

Visualize. 

 

Remain positive. Visualize the outcome and the happiness you will experience when completing the activity that is making you fearful. Remember the reason you wanted to do the activity in the first place. 

 

Talk to someone about the fear. 

 

Talk to someone about your fear. You may think that keeping your fear to yourself will help. Talking to someone may allow for a weight to be lifted off of your shoulders. That person could understand your fear and relate to it, and may be able to offer advice. 

 

Breathe. 

 

Keep breathing. If you get yourself into a panic, remembering to breathe could help you relax. 

 

Fear lives within ourselves. It becomes present in many ways that are different for everybody. If we do not try to overcome fear, it can take over our lives, causing us to miss out on valuable and rewarding experiences. 

 

Fear will never go away, but we can try to overcome it each time. 

 

 

MacKenzie is a digital media enthusiast with interests in various aspects of media. She takes part in novel hunting, photo and video creating and creative writing.

Language Learning

Jihu Lee (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

The convenience of language often overshadows its impacts on one’s reality and identity. We are so used to speaking for unavoidable communication purposes that we miss how language shapes the world we live in. Last semester in college, I took a linguistics course that explored the relationship between language, individuals and society at large. There are two concepts from the class that have stuck with me ever since: 

 

  1. The linguistic relativity hypothesis suggests that language has a tendency to influence our thoughts and reality. Language acts as a lens through which we see the world and different tongues may cause people to have varying perspectives of their lives. 

 

  1. If language does have the power to influence our realities, the words we use on a daily basis can subconsciously uplift or harm ourselves and others. 

 

As a bilingual speaker of English and Korean, this answered so many questions I’ve had for years. Why was it that I wanted to use Korean to be more emotionally expressive, even when I was more comfortable with English, as it was my first language? And why do I feel like two completely different people when switching between the two? 

 

The short answer is, I am experiencing the world in different ways when I use English and Korean as a result of cultural and linguistic variation. In English, I can be as versatile as I want in articulating my thoughts. But in Korean, I have access to single words that can sum up an emotion that I would need to describe in two or three sentences in English. Not only that, there exist Korean idioms and expressions that specifically capture the nuance and emotion of certain situations. They either sound completely ridiculous in English, or are utterly untranslatable to begin with. This is not unique to Korean versus English, but for every language in the world. Each tongue has a set of vocabulary that makes it uniquely powerful. 

 

I was born and raised in Utah, in the United States. In my 19 years of life, it has only been a span of several months since I have finally reconnected with my Korean heritage. Before, I had wanted to hide this part of my identity from everyone’s sight and even downplayed my ability to speak the language. Although the story of my journey to this point is beyond the scope of the topic at hand, I will say I presently feel grateful to my upbringing for enriching my world, both culturally and linguistically. 

 

The power of words is also significant within a single language and not just comparatively across different languages. As a society, the normalized use of words like “crazy” or “insane” continues to perpetuate stigma against mental illness. In the 1970s, one study found 220 negative words for women while there were almost none to describe men in the same way. If language can influence our attitudes toward the world, it is important that we work to reduce harmful language patterns starting with ourselves at the individual level. 

 

Our choice of words and phrasing in our mundane day-to-day life has far greater an impact than we might think. A familiar example might be the way we talk to ourselves. Looking in the mirror and telling yourself that you are capable will inevitably produce a stronger, more positive effect than saying you are worthless. Another important strategy is balanced thinking, in which we practice accepting that multiple emotions can be valid at once. For instance, tell yourself, “I am anxious about the future, but I believe it will work out,” rather than, “My future looks bleak from where I am and it will always be that way.” This type of self-talk is neutralizing and more realistic without forcing you to believe in pessimism or toxic positivity. We have the power to create a better reality to live in as long as we are mindful of what we constantly tell ourselves. 

 

The incredible impact language can have on our perspectives on life cannot be understated. Words literally influence how we think and perceive ourselves and others. Multilingualism enhances our experience in the world by offering different interpretations of the same emotion, as I like to think of it. A fun example is the informal Korean equivalent to the English phrase, “This is ridiculous!” In Korean, the expression roughly translates to “my ear is stuffed.” Having a diverse heritage enriches our identities, as we get to carry multiple perspectives of our lives.

 

And as mentioned, our ability to influence what kind of lives we lead has roots all the way down to the simple words we use every day. Together, we should make it a goal to appreciate and be mindful of our capability in using language to make a better world for everyone to live in.

 

 

My name is Jihu, and I’m from Salt Lake City, Utah! I have been with Low Entropy since May 2021. Some of the things I love are reading, writing, listening to music, playing with my dogs and spending time with my sister!

Video Gaming and Mental Health: It’s Super Effective

Blaine Hancock (he/him/his), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Let’s face it – life can be pretty hard sometimes. It can be incredibly draining on your mental health to have to juggle a job, family, friends, school, errands, etc. The question is, what can we do to help lower our stress and keep our mental health in check?

 

I’m sure you know of several different strategies such as exercising, listening to your favorite songs and eating healthy foods. However, have you ever considered that playing video games may be an excellent way to lower your stress and help your mental health? Now, I’m not saying you shouldn’t do the other strategies I listed (because you definitely should), but it may be wise to consider gaming as a strategy too! Here are just a handful of the positive effects video games can have on your mental health.

 

Note: This article only applies to a low-to-moderate amount of gaming. Playing video games too often may not be great for your mental health. Just like everything else in life, moderation is key!

 

Lower Anxiety (Brief Escape)

 

First and foremost, playing video games can help you escape your daily grind and lower your anxiety. Video games provide a source of fun that can often be lacking in life. They transport you to a world where you, and maybe a few friends, are able to run, jump, explore, discover and have amazing times! This brief escape into a realm of fun can help calm your mental health and may provide you with more perspective on your current life stressors.

 

Sense of Accomplishment

 

After beating a tough video game level you’ve tried to complete a dozen times, you feel a sense of accomplishment that is absolutely unrivalled. This feeling can do wonders for your positivity and confidence levels, which in turn can completely revamp your mental health. This sense of accomplishment can also come from simply completing minor tasks that help to progress you in a game. Keep completing those quests and rebuild your mental health at the same time!

 

Increase Creativity

 

One interesting positive effect of video games is their ability to spark creativity. Video games often contain incredibly creative art/visuals, music and writing. Hearing and seeing these interesting works can inspire you to add some creativity to your own life! This creativity could be as big as wanting to create your own video game, or as small as simply wanting to add a bit more color to your wardrobe. Either way, feeling more creative and passionate about something is an awesome way to combat mental health struggles.

 

Strengthen Social Connections

 

Creating new social connections or building on established ones always has a positive impact on your mental health. One way of helping to create new social connections or build on old ones is to throw some video games into the mix. Adding video games into a social setting creates a common element for everyone to talk about and have fun bonding over. Also, video games are often a casual enough activity that you all can discuss your lives/stressors while still gaming together and enjoying one another’s company. Social connections can be strengthened and your happiness will skyrocket!

 

At this point, you may be thinking to yourself, “What are a few video games I could play to experience some of these positive effects?” My three suggestions are Animal Crossing: New Horizons, Stardew Valley and Super Mario Party. You will have an absolute blast with these three games, and your stress levels will surely lower. Best of luck in your mental health/video game journey!

 

 

Leave your thoughts for Blaine in the comments below – better yet, start up a dialogue with the Low Entropy community in person, at a Conscious Connections meeting or online at our community site. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and YouTube to stay up-to-date with Low Entropy news!

The Solace in Words

Bethany Howell (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

COVID-19 stole many things from us. From the great importance of face-to-face contact with loved ones to the simple pleasure of going to the local library, many activities once commonplace were taken away this past year. Even with all of these sacrifices, I would say my greatest personal loss was the beauty of possibility.

 

I had lost my chance to meet an old friend at a café, to discover a new passion roaming the paths of a festival, to find the love of my life walking to my next class. We all know the old adage “you don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone,” and yet I never truly felt it until I lost my ability to fantasize about possibilities. I realized quite quickly that I relied on this romanticization of day-to-day life to feel good about myself and my place in the world. I also realized that, with these moments now taken away from me, I would have trouble gaining happiness. 

 

Not only had COVID-19 stolen my life, it had also stolen my hope. 

 

Sometime, after months of – in all honesty – doing nothing productive and wallowing in my own grief, I came to realize that something must change; I had to seize my own form of hope from the world around me, no matter how bleak it appeared through the lens of my depression. I had to find something – anything – that would bring me joy. 

 

This is when I discovered writing. It started out with a few simple poems jotted down in a notes app about what I missed pre-pandemic. This small creative outlet quickly grew to a revival of an old blog account where I could post the emotions I was finally able to put into words. I began to post not just about my life, but also my past. I wrote some poems that I would happily show my parents and others about personal topics that still stung to the touch. No matter what, I wrote poems that I was proud of above all else. 

 

In the middle of 2021, over a year since what I refer to as “The Great Loss of Hope,” I applied for a blog-writing position at Low Entropy. I knew that, if I got in, it would give me the chance to share my writing and, hopefully, use it to help others. I jumped at the chance, eagerly and with the gusto of a child. As you can probably guess, I did end up becoming part of the Low Entropy team. 

 

Many people say that the most difficult part of writing is starting, and I fully agree. That blank page can be daunting, especially when all you allow yourself to create is perfection. Through writing, I discovered how my perfectionistic tendencies have stifled my creativity. My ability to express myself has always been guarded behind those high walls of self-protective instinct, and it took months of private writing to finally break through. 

 

Though I can proudly say that now I am able to write freely, that was not always the case. One small thing I can thank COVID-19 for is giving me the time to experiment freely with myself and my writing; I guess that proves that even the biggest challenges can be used for good.

 

I cannot, in good conscience, say that writing completely solved my problems, as I still find myself reminiscing on the past instead of living in the moment; however, I can say that it has helped me finally defeat my fear of failure and that, in itself, has brought me a new form of hope. I now have a healthy hope for my future with writing and a hope for my future with Low Entropy. 

 

This post is not meant to be an advertisement to write, nor is it a statement about the therapeutic benefit of creativity (though I can vouch for it!). I have written this as proof to you – and myself – that there is a bit of light at the end of every tunnel, no matter how long and dark it seems. 

 

None of us could have predicted any of this at the start of 2020 and, though it has been quite the ride, I am glad to say that we have made it through and that right there is something of which to be proud.

 

 

My name is Bethany Howell and I am a third-year university student majoring in psychology and minoring in family and child studies. I have a passion for writing and mental health and my ultimate goal since age 13 has been to make a difference in the world through helping others, which is how I ended up here at Low Entropy!

Race and the Importance of a Quick Start

Taylor Caldarino (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Have you ever wondered what age is best to start a conversation with your kids about racism? It can require creativity to come up with a way to explain this topic that is age-appropriate and ensures your child grasps what you are saying, but discussing racism from an early age helps give your child the tools necessary to prevent forming certain ideologies.

 

I believe parents should start conversations with their children about race starting around one year of age, but of course, making it extremely basic. This is because starting as early as three months old, babies start to show preferences for people that look like them. This makes it more likely that children will develop friendships that are homogenous, even if the child is growing up in an ethnically diverse area. Developing friendships outside of one’s race may help them to experience more cultures, which can lead to less ignorance or a better understanding of which ways racism affects people who experience it. 

 

Children are highly malleable, they pick up what the media and their peers say very quickly, and they believe it. This means that, since some races are portrayed in negative ways and white people are portrayed as superior, children form ideologies that the colour of your skin determines whether or not you are beautiful, a good or bad person, or smart or unintelligent. This is shown in Mamie Phipps Clark’s famous doll test study, in which kids are shown a white and a black doll and the majority of the kids applied positive attributes to the white dolls while associating negative attributes to the black dolls. I highly recommend watching this video on the doll test, it is quite eye-opening.

 

It can be hard to come up with ways to make a discussion age-appropriate or comprehensive for little ones, but there are plenty of great books and shows available that do very well when it comes to explaining how to treat others from different races. 

 

 

My name is Taylor, and I am currently majoring in psychology and minoring in gerontology at Simon Fraser University. I also love to hike and cook!

Starting Small

Jihu Lee (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Can you think of any skills or abilities you acquired during childhood that are now second nature to you? Perhaps developing a love for a food you used to hate or learning a second language that you are now fluent in. You probably didn’t notice much progress until a sufficient amount of time had passed. Change accrues over time and takes patience, whether we are trying to become skilled at a hobby, see gym results or pull ourselves out of a dark place. 

 

We sometimes can’t help but wish for instant gratification, so we’re often reluctant to start something at all. But starting somewhere, no matter how far of a shot in the dark, will eventually lead us to our goal point. In the 1980s researchers identified six stages of change, the first of which is mere precontemplation, where people have no intention whatsoever of changing their behavior or lifestyle. This should indicate that even the smallest of steps counts as a move towards change, no matter how unproductive they may seem. It may feel daunting to take a step out of our comfort zones, until we start to see our hard work pay off. But keep in mind that taking initiative puts you further along the way than if you had done nothing at all, even if the beginning looks unpromising. 

 

Another key point to staying on track towards change is to be consistent with our efforts. During times when everything seems stagnant, rest assured progress is slowly happening. Imagine a leaky tap dripping water into a bucket. Initially, you might think it will take an eternity before that bucket fills up. But be patient and the water will rise to the brim before you know it. 

 

Most importantly, we need to be self-aware and hopeful during our journey towards our dreams. Doing the same thing over and over won’t produce different results. That isn’t what consistent effort entails. Instead, we must push ourselves to be cognizant of where we can improve and to stay humble so that we don’t let a milestone get to our heads. Similarly, we have the right to give ourselves credit for the work we are putting in. Just because change isn’t immediately visible doesn’t mean your efforts are all for naught. Rebecca Solnit’s take on being hopeful is that it is the balance between optimism – the belief that everything will be fine without taking responsibility – and pessimism – the belief that everything will end up in ruins no matter what. Between these hot and cold endpoints is the gradient of uncertainty where it is up to us to take action. Hope reassures us that no matter what kind of outcome we get, our efforts create the ultimate impact. 

 

Here is what we have discussed so far about working towards change: 

 

  1. Take a step: it doesn’t matter how small or if you’re doubtful of whether or not it’ll be worth it. All you need is to start, and from then on, you’ve already pointed yourself in the direction of change. 

 

  1. Just because you don’t see anything yet doesn’t mean nothing is happening: don’t be discouraged when you can’t see much progress overnight, within a week, over the course of months or even years! Change doesn’t adhere to deadlines, so always remind yourself that every effort you put in will reward you somehow, even if not in the way you’d expect. 

 

  1. Don’t be afraid to evolve: not surprisingly, in order to see change, we must change. This can mean different things for every individual. You might recognize where you lack and intensify your efforts, while another person learns to respect their own boundaries and give themselves the rest they need in order to be more productive. Whatever it takes, we have to evolve if we want to create change in our lives. 

 

  1. There is hope: it is okay if your investments didn’t produce the rewards you wanted. Even if you didn’t fulfill the goal you were aiming for, the experience you acquired in striving to reach it will surely serve you well in another walk of life. 

 

Starting out small can set off a chain reaction of progress. As a final note, I want the reader to remember that everyone lives at a different pace, and a slow journey is never a sign of inadequacy. And it is never too late to try something new as long as

you just start!

 

 

My name is Jihu, and I’m from Salt Lake City, Utah! I have been with Low Entropy since May 2021. Some of the things I love are reading, writing, listening to music, playing with my dogs and spending time with my sister!

Self-Therapy: An Introduction

Anastasia Lee (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Therapy is expensive. Each session can cost between $60 and $250 or even more, potentially racking up thousands of dollars per patient per year. Although therapy is effective, it is not a solution for everyone, and there is no one-size-fits-all kind of therapy. Everybody’s psychological needs differ, and sometimes professional psychological treatment isn’t enough.

 

Depression and anxiety are becoming more and more common as psychological disorders, especially after a year-long global pandemic. Mental health decline is on the rise, peaking in the past decade, and it is worsening due to debilitating economic conditions. Losing jobs, homes and assets can be traumatic, as being stripped of your necessities can force you into survival mode. The cost of living is becoming more and more expensive. Considering these major challenges and dramatic changes in the environment, it is no surprise that depression and anxiety are becoming more prevalent in our society.

 

Self-therapy, which is any healing tool that provides mental alleviation and emotional support, has the potential to become the future of mental health therapy. It focuses on the individual becoming dependent on their cognitive and support systems, instead of relying on others for therapy. It is bringing back the power to the individual and creating a solid foundation for their mental health. It is not a replacement for therapy with a trained professional, but more so a way to cope with challenging, complex circumstances when one cannot afford therapy.

 

I must re-emphasize that self-therapy is not a substitute for therapy. It is a coping mechanism. There is no professional training required for self-therapy, and therefore it is not considered an form of medical therapy.

 

What is self-therapy?

 

Self-therapy is a potentially effective practice with all kinds of benefits: processing negative thoughts and emotions; coping healthily with trauma; rediscovering unconscious, shadow aspects; reflecting on your actions, habits and behaviors; keeping track of your progress and much more. Self-therapy isn’t limited to a specific set of practices. It is formed and shaped according to the needs and desires of the individual. Self-therapy is very much like self-care; it is for the mind and heart.

 

How is it an effective tool for coping with negative thoughts and emotions?

 

Self-therapy is a channel for self-expression and conscious processing. It brings unconscious and subconscious programming to the conscious surface. It is essential for working through trauma, which is often responsible for negative thoughts and emotions. Whether through journaling, voice messages, videos or other forms of self-therapeutic expression, it is a productive and constructive coping mechanism for releasing heavily suppressed thoughts and emotions. In this way, they do not remain trapped within the psyche, where they wreak havoc on our mental and emotional well-being.

 

How do I prepare for self-therapy?

 

  1. Intention-Setting: Before diving into self-therapy, evaluating your intentions for why you believe therapy is necessary and how you will undergo the process is essential for an effective session. Every session doesn’t have to be the same, and depending on the needs of the individual, the intentions can differ as desired. This intention-setting practice can be performed in various ways: writing down purposes in a journal, repeating them aloud in front of a mirror, sharing them with a trusted friend or family member, or expressing these intentions through art and music, to name a few.

 

  1. Creating a Safe Space: Your sanctuary can be created anywhere. Whether it’s your bedroom or outside in nature, being where no distractions or problems can reach you is the best place to be. It can be by yourself or with a friend or trusted partner, and it is encouraged to have someone assist you in the process if possible. You can put on music or surround yourself with the things you love and appreciate the most in life. Build your safe space as you like, and change your environment as needed.

 

  1. Practice Vulnerability: If you’ve spent years hiding who you truly are from the world, then it’s time to open up and express yourself, finally. Use your voice to talk about your thoughts and emotions. Don’t overthink anything you’re saying. Just speak. Detach from any judgments projected on you. Take it easy on yourself and ease away from being self-critical. It is okay to have flaws and imperfections, and practicing vulnerability requires accepting these aspects of yourself. Become more comfortable listening to your voice, feeling your emotions and hearing your thoughts.

 

  1. Ask Yourself Questions: When practicing self-therapy, it’s essential to guide yourself with the right questions. It is beneficial for you also to ask yourself questions to assist you with your healing process. Write down your own questions and answers throughout each session and, if needed, go completely off track and dive deeper into what needs confrontation. Every session is meant to be for your personal needs, so do exactly what you feel is best for you.

 

  1. Acquire the Right Tools: Self-therapy is relatively cheap and easy. The essential tools needed are a journal, pen and mirror. Of course, these aren’t requirements. Self-therapy can be talked through without notes, but having a mirror may help you connect with your body, language and ways of expression. A journal and pen may be useful for writing down things you want to remember in future sessions, while also tracking your progress and seeing what you need to work on and integrate.

 

 

My name is Anastasia. I am 22 years old, and I am from California. Ever since I was a kid, writing has been my passion because it is a channel of self-expression. With every piece of writing, I hope to build a collected masterpiece of art to share with the world.

The Highly Personalized Art of Defending Yourself from Cannonballs

Christina Liao (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Your emotions can overwhelm you in an instant, like a cannonball. One minute, you’re walking. The next, you’re doubling over from a wave of anxiety. One minute, you feel fine. The next, you feel like you can’t get out of bed. You can’t move, you can’t breathe. The pit in your stomach feels like it will never end. Crisis mode will start in any second. 

 

This feeling is obviously not great, but did you know that there are ways that you can prevent it? To prevent you from going past the point of no return? One way is to write your thoughts down on a piece of paper, and then just throw that paper away. Whenever you feel like your emotions start to become too much, pick up a pen and lay down a piece of paper. Then, write down everything that you’re feeling at that moment. The pen and paper are your friends, your therapists, your muses. Whatever you want to call them. Once you’re finished, put the pen down. Crumple up the paper in a tight ball, then throw it into the nearest garbage bin. Don’t even keep it so you can read it at a later time, just throw the paper out. If you try to read it, you will just give yourself more anxiety.

 

Another thing that helps me is reading. It’s a great hobby that can temporarily distract you from your own life. You can fight dragons with queens and experience a life-changing type of love, all from the comfort of your couch. If you find that your emotions are starting to take a toll, maybe you should go read a good book as a distraction. I suggest The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab and These Violent Delights by Chloe Gong, if you’re interested in fantasy. 

 

The methods that I’ve suggested may work for some, but not others. I’ve just personally found that they’re good ways to keep my own emotions in check. Please understand that it’s important to control your emotions so they don’t become overwhelming, but also know that sometimes you just can’t. Everyone has different ways of preventing crises because everyone deals with things differently. You need to find your own way of calming yourself down. Whether it’s listening to music, meditating or writing your thoughts down like I suggested, you should have a strategy to calm yourself down whenever you feel like your emotions are starting to take you over. 

 

At the end of the day, you should be the one to control your own emotions, and not let your emotions control you. You are the one who chooses how you will accomplish that. There are countless articles on how to control your emotions and countless articles that will tell you which one is the best for you. However, you’re the only one who can decide for yourself how to maintain a good mindspace. Keeping a good headspace is important, and preserving good mental health even more so.

 

Don’t let a cannonball of emotions ruin your day. Everyone gets overwhelmed; it’s a natural part of life.

 

My name is Christina and I am currently a student at Simon Fraser University in the Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences. I love listening to music, reading, writing and, honestly, anything Marvel. In short, I’m a total nerd. I volunteer as a blog writer here at Low Entropy.

Trying

Cristina Crescenzo (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

I have been having a lot of sleepless nights, so naturally I listen to music to put myself to sleep, but last night I came across a song I haven’t heard in a while. It was this is me tryingby Taylor Swift. While I was listening to it, I couldn’t help but think about the resilience of the human soul and how everyday someone in the world is actively fighting something. The song itself is about two people fighting very difficult obstacles, alcoholism and depression, with lyrics about wasting your potential as you are getting drunk on that third glass of whiskey. Another part of the narrative was about someone driving up to a cliffside and thinking about ending it all. In the end both of these people don’t give into their demons by the simple acts of not pouring another drink and by turning around and driving home. 

 

However, I believe we live in a society where small victories like that go unacknowledged, and that we have to be 100% fine or just give up entirely. The funny thing to me is that I know every single human being is dealing with their own problems, and while some are better at hiding it, we still know in our hearts that we don’t give others the benefit of the doubt. In my own personal experience, I think it is a big accomplishment when I just get out of bed, brush my teeth or eat something. To me, those are things that mean that I am not giving into my dark thoughts that day. I know that must seem like the bare minimum, but for me that is enough for now. Furthermore, I found as I grew up, there were fewer opportunities to be rewarded for our wins in the midst of a whole lot of loss than when we were kids and our teachers gave us gold stars. 

 

Unfortunately, as an adult, I guess we have to accept that there isn’t always going to be someone there to pat you on the back when you do something well, and we have to learn that the validation we give ourselves is enough. Therefore, although I may want my family to recognize the strength I have used in order to live my life, I will also have to realize that sometimes those small gestures towards peace might go unnoticed. So it may not be what you need, but it’s what you have to do to survive. Thus, if you are one of those people taking those small steps to overcome your affliction and you feel like no one sees you, just know that I do, and congratulate you on all your hard work up to this point! I would also like to suggest listening to some Taylor Swift, she always cheers me up when I am down.

 

Lastly, I just want to say to everyone who believes that their loved one isn’t doing anything to fix their situation, I promise you, if you pay attention, one day you will be able to have a front row seat to the greatest victory of their lives as they proclaim, “This is me trying!” 

 

***

 

I am a 21-year-old English major at Capilano University with hopes of eventually writing young adult novels, and spreading disability and mental health awareness.

Reason to Roam

Simin Ghaffari (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Administrative Assistant

 

Walking has always been a great form of exercise, and it is a great way to boost your physical and mental well-being. Walking has helped me relieve my stress and find peace during a pandemic.

 

When I was 11 years old I read a book, a Bertrand Russell biography. He was a polymath, and worked in philosophy, mathematics and logic. He walked three kilometres a day and used that time to think and create things

 

My math was very bad at school, but I thought if I started walking like him, I would be great at math. 

 

I didn’t become good at math at all, nor philosophy, but walking became my habit. When I am sad, or need to think or plan, I go for a walk and it helps me mentally and physically by allowing me to focus on the beauty of nature.

 

I walk, and the benefit of walking helps me so much. Especially during the pandemic, walking in nature helps me to stay mentally and physically active, and also helps me see more beauty in nature and the people around me, and I start taking pictures of everything. These little things make me happy in those moments, and I forget all the problems in the world and in my life

 

Now, as I am getting older with osteoarthritis in my knees, sometimes I have to beg my legs to cooperate, but walking is still joyful. 

 

Walking can help your mental health. Studies show it can help reduce anxiety, depression and negative mood. It can also boost self-esteem and reduce symptoms of social withdrawal. To experience these benefits, aim for 30 minutes of walking, three days a week.

 

***

 

I am a person who doesn’t give up easily. I stand up when things are not right, no matter what I have to lose. I am friendly, minimal and concerned about the environment. I enjoy photography, dance, music and nature. I enjoy everything, and I am eager to learn new things. – Simin Ghaffari

In the Stars

Jihu Lee (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Over the course of my life so far, I have turned to art to seek out light that could penetrate the darkness that has trapped me. I have been lucky enough to be surrounded by art and creativity growing up. Writing has always been fulfilling for me, and is a refreshing outlet for my thoughts and creative expression. My little sister and I both play instruments, so music has been a significant part of our lives as well. Almost two years ago, I discovered my ability to draw people from photos of them. Even though I don’t draw as often nowadays, I know I can pick up a pencil and paper anytime and draw a sketch of anyone I wish. 

 

My sister discovered her own talents for crocheting and cooking. She can watch tutorials online and replicate them flawlessly. During the pandemic, we cooked and baked a variety of meals and desserts together, from couscous to cinnamon muffins. We made cheesecake three times, none even close to perfection (the second time, my sister forgot to add sugar to the filling), but our time spent baking together on its own makes the experience worthwhile. 

 

In addition to partaking directly in forms of art, I take inspiration from artists, both proximate and on the other side of the world. In November 2020, my sister and I heard BTS’s ‘Dynamite’ in the car and were drawn to the upbeat, vibrant energy of the song. Already we have come a long way from novice K-pop fans to supporting multiple artist groups, each with their own styles and concepts. We grew up speaking Korean with our parents at home, so watching and listening to K-pop content and music while understanding the language strikes a pleasant chord in me. Even though we don’t know any idols personally, the music and comfort they bring with their mere existence explain why millions of people around the world love them the way they do. 

 

Stereotypically, idol groups are said to cater to the demographic of teenage girls. This conception in society harms not only teenage girls, who get mocked for their genuine support of these artists, but fans who are outside of the demographic in question as well. K-pop artists like BTS explore a wide range of topics in their music, including mental health, societal issues and generational pressures. In doing so, they break the barriers of age, gender, race, ethnicity and sexual orientation, and appeal indiscriminately to audiences around the world. 

 

Something about the way millions of people are making Korean music more mainstream in their lives within a largely Western-centric society should indicate that the condescending stereotype of a boy band doesn’t really hold. 

 

Channeling your creativity and inspiration to escape your surroundings and reality is not unproductive. It is essential for most people. While others may find it more efficient to grind for prolonged periods of time, some may need to relieve the pressure before continuing on. I encourage you to keep your imagination alive as a reminder that you’re human after all. 

 

Never be ashamed of finding yourself returning to art if it gives meaning in your life. Keep holding onto whatever inspires your inner creativity, and it does not have to be limited to quintessential activities like drawing, painting or making music. Your love for art isn’t trivial just because you might not turn it into something “practical” that will earn you money. Creativity shouldn’t become a “guilty” pleasure just because society might not let you capitalize on it. 

 

By exploring what you love, you could very well be inspiring those around you to go after what they’re passionate about as well. If someone tells you a certain pastime or an artist has had an unforgettable impact on their life, believe them. In this hectic world where we often lose ourselves, the last thing we should do is put others down for loving something that makes them happy. For me personally, becoming interested in K-pop has helped me reconnect with my heritage, something I suppressed for most of my life because I felt so othered by the mere fact that I could speak Korean. But that is entirely another story of its own. The bottom line is that art in itself is a lifeline, so don’t be afraid to enlighten yourself and fuel your imagination!

 

 

My name is Jihu, and I’m from Salt Lake City, Utah! I have been with Low Entropy since May 2021. Some of the things I love are reading, writing, listening to music, playing with my dogs and spending time with my sister! 

You Matter

Christina Liao (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Sometimes, days become stormy and you feel worthless. “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you,” your brain thinks as you look at the mirror in the morning. “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you,” your brain thinks as you leave your house. “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you,” your brain thinks as you keep your head down and can’t hear your thoughts over the noise. Everyone can feel insignificant on cloudy days, and when that’s happening it’s crucial to remember that you matter. When your brain says “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you,” it’s important to let your heart respond with “I matter, I matter, I matter,” even when you can’t quite bring yourself to believe it. Power through it, and there’s going to be a light on the other end of the tunnel when you get there. 

 

When you start to feel like you’re worthless or not good enough, it’s key to take a step back, reevaluate yourself and continue on with your day. On some days, it may be hard to look over the dirt and grime, but time prevails and you will eventually feel better, the harder you try. On some days, it seems as if pain becomes an endless pit. Loneliness, worthlessness and overthinking can completely consume your life. When that happens, it is important to take a break from whatever you’re doing and think about the things that make you happy. Go read a book, listen to some calming music, take a walk. Do something that makes you feel at ease. That’s always worked for me, at least. Distracting myself from thoughts about things that I know shouldn’t matter but still worry about has always been a good strategy.

 

Emotions can become overwhelming, and it’s important to find ways to distract yourself when they do. Whether it’s sitting down and watching some television or meditating, it’s important to compose your feelings and keep them in check. Overthinking is unhealthy, but when you’re stressed it becomes almost second nature to overthink. Stress and anxiety come hand-in-hand. Feeling stressed is unavoidable, but it’s important to handle it in a healthy way. Take some breaks, steady your breathing and sleep better. The stress will pass as time passes. Anxiety however, can become a problem, because if it is a constant in your day then it doesn’t go away. Different people deal with it by using different methods, and it’s important to find your own method that is catered to you. If things become really bad, maybe it’s time to find a trained professional to help you through your troubles. Therapists really help and more people are in therapy than you might think. The stigma against getting help really shouldn’t be a thing, because it’s normal to seek it when you need it.

 

Many celebrities are advocates of mental health because they have their own problems with it. Someone as successful as Taylor Swift still goes through anxiety like everyone else, and that makes her just as human as anyone else. In fact, Taylor probably has more anxiety than you and I, having to deal with a global audience assessing her appearance every second of her life. It’s important for the stigma against mental health treatment to be nullified, because everyone has their troubles and those involving mental health problems are normal. Even someone like Taylor Swift goes through them and comes out stronger when they get out the other end.

 

It’s a good strategy to know when you need help and when you’re in a good place – monitor your emotions. Keep a mood tracker handy, write a journal to keep your thoughts in check, whatever works for you is what you need to do to be aware of your mental state. Especially in the midst of this pandemic, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. When you do, remember to relax, distract yourself and just breathe. Power through it, and you’ll come out from a tough spot stronger than ever. Life is messy, and it’s okay to feel like your emotions are overloading your life. Just find healthy ways to contain them when it happens and power through the darkness.

 

***

 

My name is Christina and I am currently a student at Simon Fraser University in the Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences. I love listening to music, reading, writing and, honestly, anything Marvel. In short, I’m a total nerd. I volunteer as a blog writer here at Low Entropy.

Wounded Child

Ling-Yee Sze, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

I personally think that I am quite experienced in feeling lonely. The feeling of loneliness was most pervasive in my teenage or adolescent years.

 

I have always enjoyed alone time. A lot of activities that I enjoy – drawing, reading, playing music, etc . . . are usually conducted independently.

 

When I was a kid, I lived with my grandparents in a small village in a southern province in China. They were quite permissive and busy with physical work. I had great fun playing by myself alone. I did not feel lonely at all; my parents’ love for me was always in the back of my mind. One of my most vivid memories from those years was sitting in the middle of a motorbike, between my grandpa at the front and my grandma at the back.

 

Then many incidents that I would now define as traumas happened after I went to Hong Kong at the age of five that created some negative emotional imprints on me. As a sensitive child, I developed a lot of negative beliefs and coping mechanisms in interacting with people, which resulted in me feeling lonely in or after social interactions.

 

A big wound I have is in my social ability. When I first met my mum at five years old, she perceived me as self-centred and lacking discipline. I do not remember what I did, but one night she beat me and dragged me to the garbage room. That is by far the biggest trauma I have around being rejected and unlovable.

 

Later, my belief of not being social enough or unlovable was reinforced when some teachers indicated that I should spend less time being an observer in group activities. On Parent’s Day, my teacher asked if I was an only child because I didn’t participate in as many peer groups as she thought I should.

 

I carried this wound of feeling socially inadequate into interacting with others. In order to manipulate people into liking me more and appear to be more engaged in groups, I tried very hard to people-please and read others’ minds, and did not dare to push any boundaries. I used this mode to interact with my peers and teachers in my primary school years, then every day after returning home I felt alive and able to be myself again, and not wear the mask of a temperless good girl. I enjoyed a very intimate, sharing, vulnerable relationship with my grandma.

 

The real challenge for me came after my grandma passed away when I was 14. Suddenly my world collapsed, and I felt the intense belief that no one really respected, accepted, loved and made me feel significant other than my grandma. Coupled with some other wounds, such as believing that I was weird, unorganized and timid, or that only outgoing girls were deserving of love, or that my sexual desires made me unlovable, my adolescent years following her death were very rough emotionally.

 

I sought validation and love in indirect ways – I tried to be perfect in every drawing I made so that my peers and teachers would praise me, I tried watching 10 hours of Korean TV series nonstop to immerse myself in the world of the main female characters and feel undivided and loyal love from the main

male characters. These ways to meet my needs for love and connection helped me to forget about the pain for some time, but they were not helping me at the root level.

 

It has only been in recent years, when I stepped into personal development and self-healing, that I began to see my loneliness in different and much more empowering ways. Love and connection is vital to every single person at every stage of life. A lot of my false beliefs about my lovableness stems from the emotional imprints created when I was small. They carried into my adulthood because my brain at the time of these traumatic events perceived interaction and being vulnerable as unsafe, as leading to rejection and shame. In order to better be prepared and protect myself from danger and future interactions, I developed coping or soothing strategies to meet my needs for connection while keeping myself safe.

 

However, when I believed people around me were dangerous and interactions were unsafe, I was not present in my interactions at all. I hid the majority of myself – my traits, my needs and my emotions. The longer the interactions were, the more exhausted and drained and lonely I would feel after. I would then go back home and numb myself by watching television or listening to songs – only when I was all alone would I feel safe to fully be myself.  In those moments I felt so lonely and hopeless and trapped and empty.

 

Now I am working to reconnect with myself – my emotions, my needs and my boundaries – to see who I really am when there is no fear of being judged or shamed, shifting from critical self-talk to a more compassionate tone and replacing self-shaming with self-acceptance. When I fully accept and see and hear and respond to myself, I feel less lonely and I feel able to communicate to other people what I am about and what I need. Even if sometimes these interactions are not satisfying, I’ve started to trust that I can set boundaries and give love and connection to myself, especially my wounded child.

 

 

Hi, my name is Ling-Yee Sze and I am a personal development enthusiast who began a self-help journey four years ago. Along the way, I have met many inspiring people. I hope to share my personal stories and collected learnings with you!

Your Own Personal Brat

Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Anna Bernsteiner examines the concept of anxiety through the lens of a toxic relationship with a fellow with an unfortunate name.

 

Let’s talk about everyone’s annoying little friend Anxiety. Known for various crimes. Creeping inside your brain at night, twisting and turning your thoughts so you doubt and question your entire being. Constantly trying to convince you of all the things that can go wrong and all the failures ahead. And making a sport out of reminding you of every single insecurity that has ever crossed your mind.

 

Charming fellow. 

 

I call mine Brat. ‘Cause then I can say,

“My anxiety is such a brat.” Annoying, spoiled little kid. I think that’s pretty accurate. I can’t just kick him out, so I guess I have to learn how to live with him. Maybe I should befriend him. Tell everyone about him.

But how hard is it to admit your problems to another human being? Or, even better, how hard is it to admit it to yourself? 

 

It’s not as easy as saying

Hey you, I have anxiety. It’s difficult sometimes. It occasionally takes over and feels like I can’t move or think about anything else. I feel like a failure, worthless. Stick with me, I guess? 

 

A little anxiety is normal, it’s your body trying to watch out for you, trying to protect you.

Maybe you get the shivers when thinking about a big test coming up, the first day at work or presenting in front of a big audience. 

 

Yet what if this kid grows up to be a constant disruptive abusive adult who doesn’t want to be controlled or leave you alone?

What then? 

What if it seems like life is too overwhelming for you. Nothing you do is enough or works out. Constant doubt. Constant fear. Constantly on your mind. 

 

Honestly, between you and me, I have not yet found a way to get rid of him. Kid or adult. Still living in my head rent-free. Having tantrums and trashing the place. 

So why am I even writing this, if I have absolutely no solution? 

 

Here is why. Growing up, mental health has always been a scary topic to talk about. Anxiety wasn’t a thing. A new sickness just invented. People seeking attention. Weird. You just didn’t talk about it. 

So it’s time to shine a light on the topic. Normalizing anxiety. Normalizing struggles. Normalizing fear. 

When reading this, did it sound familiar? Did you feel like you have experienced this before? 

Identifying the culprit is a great first step to taming your own personal Brat. See how anxiety is triggered. And if you know what triggers yours. You take some control back. 

 

Think about it this way. There are lots of Brats out there and their number doesn’t get smaller. The opposite. Chances are there are people in your life feeling overwhelmed and anxious too. 

And as always, sharing pain makes it feel just a little less scary. So instead of spreading Brats all around by staying silent, you can choose to share. You can choose to tell the people that care about you. You can choose to acknowledge your struggles. 

 

And say, Hey my anxiety is a brat.

 

What about yours?

 

Brat’s the worst. Nobody likes that guy. How do you deal with characters like Brat? Comment below or talk your anxiety out with an empathetic group of listeners in a Conscious Connections meeting.

L’Argent et L’Homme

Ryan Haddad (he/him/his), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

One unavoidable facet of my personality concerns how little I enjoy discussing movies, even after I’ve thoroughly enjoyed watching them. When I happen to find myself in a position where I have to provide an opinion, I usually resort to shoulder-shrugs or general, too-vague-to-pin-down impressions. However, the same attitude can’t be applied when discussing Robert Bresson’s last film, L’Argent (“Money” in English), released in 1983.

 

Bresson was a widely influential French filmmaker who was adamant about creating the films he wanted to see. His vision was uniquely singular and his style was stripped to its essentials, revealing a neat, smooth skeleton rather than a fully fleshed-out organism with all its habitual faults and imperfections. No scene is wasted; no line is unimportant. The ultimate impression was the ultimate goal. As an audience member, you only saw what you needed to see. It’s because of this that his films resemble documentaries more than actual movies. The camera is unusually static, scenes linger, music is rarely used and actors feel rigid and unemotional, like mannequins. Bresson disliked and even actively avoided hiring professional actors for his films, relying mostly on unknowns to emphasize unknown stories.

 

But why mention the film now? Is there anything left to discuss? The story, for the most part, doesn’t follow a character, but rather an object. The film starts when a fraudulent 500-franc note is exchanged between two schoolmates as one of them attempts to buy a picture frame. We then follow the fake note as it switches hands and systematically affects the lives of all who touch it, ultimately landing in the hands of a truck driver who gets taken to court because of it. Now imprisoned and shunned by his family and peers, his life tumbles down a staircase of escalating violence and destruction. 

 

Besides the worthwhile commentary on capitalist greed and the modern human condition, one aspect of the story that personally interests me the most is the hidden (and ignored) impacts we have on the people around us that we probably never stop to think about. The type of responsibility this incurs is one we’ve rarely had to seriously consider in this day and age, but the pandemic has forced us to reconsider the connections we have with the countless strangers surrounding us.

 

Consider the film’s main character. He’s a truck driver who, in a chain reaction of hand-offs, receives the fake note as payment for his services from a shopkeeper. Upon confronting the shopkeeper with no way to legitimately prove his innocence, he gets taken to court, is tried, and falls down a rabbit hole of misfortune. As a viewer, there’s nothing you can glean about his character. The dialogue in the film is delivered in a straight-faced, monotone manner, with minimal emotional range on display. This all serves to intensify the opaque portrait of the truck driver. His gaze is impenetrable, his thinking unclear, his presence an uncertainty, and yet his fate feels curiously intertwined with our own. The entire film serves as an indirect statement about the responsibility with which every individual is burdened within a society. Whether they’re conscious or accepting of it is irrelevant; what matters is that it’s there, it’s real, and it’s something that can roar to life when we least expect it. The truck driver passes on his burden to the viewer, then the viewer to their peers, and so the responsibility grows.   

 

This concept of universal responsibility has become most apparent during the pandemic. The idea that a simple outing can set a chain reaction that affects countless others was previously unthinkable to such a degree. For me, I was able to reconsider the influence my life had on others. I used to fear getting involved with people for multiple reasons. I used to avoid it like the plague. Perhaps it was the responsibility that came with sharing space and the desire for capitalist satisfaction that put me off, even subconsciously, from meeting people’s eyes. But suddenly being forced indoors for the greater part of a year recalibrates your view on the connections you have, and the ones you are forced to consider. Our responsibility to others, the most radioactive thing about us that is simultaneously harmless, is something that binds us together. It’s an inescapable aspect of our existence that can take years to master, or else we run the line of abusing its power to benefit personal gain.

 

It’s human nature to internalize our struggles and seek personal satisfaction. The only difference nowadays is that life has gotten so hectic, so crowded and unpredictable that forgetting about the needs of others has become a relatively easy decision to make. However, certain events can force us to reconsider how desperately we need one another to survive. Something I often think about is the difference between humans and animals at birth. Largely speaking, animals are thrust into action at birth. It only takes a few seconds for a fawn to find its footing before its expedition begins. Humans, on the other hand, take years to rely on themselves instead of others. Our connections and responsibilities to one another form the building blocks of our species.

 

 

I’m a recent graduate of the Lebanese American University in Beirut. I will be pursuing graduate studies in London, Ontario this fall. I enjoy reading fiction and follow moose-related posts on Reddit.

Can’ts in a Box

Shirin Malek (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

In an educational setting it is vital to give children love, positive reinforcement and support in any way that gives them confidence.

 

I remember when I was seven years old and I told my teacher that I couldn’t do math properly, and that it was really challenging for me. Later the same day she gave me a sparkly pink box and told me to write down all the things I didn’t think I could do.

 

She said, “I want you to put all of your ‘can’ts’ in this box.” 

 

I did the assignment, but during the entire time I was confused. After class, she took me outside and asked me to bury the box. She looked at me and smiled, and told me that every time I tell myself I can’t do something I should picture that thought in a box in my mind and bury it. Instead of worrying about what I felt I couldn’t do, she wanted me to focus on all of the things I could do and write each of those things down in a notebook. Now, as a twenty-four-year-old, I can look back at that particular moment and see how helpful that lesson was.

 

A year later, I found out why I felt like I couldn’t do math. I was diagnosed with some learning disabilities. Learning disabilities are neurological disorders which “affect the way a person processes information and thus how they learn information. Simply put, their brains are wired differently.”

 

Although there are so many individuals in the world who have learning disabilities, the diagnoses seem to cause misconceptions. Rather than focusing on the evidence that learning specialists have gathered, I feel as though there are still some myths that persist. Let’s debunk those, shall we?

 

1.)   If someone has a learning disability, they are unintelligent.

 

First of all, you are not unintelligent if you have a learning disability. Actually, individuals who have learning disabilities have average or higher intelligence. Having a learning disability does not reflect your level of intelligence. In reality, it only means you learn differently than other people.

 

If you think about it, it can be beautiful to see how your own brain works and processes things in different ways. You have a new perspective on how you approach different subjects, and finding which learning styles work for you is a key component of the experience.

 

2.)   Someone with a learning disability is lazy, or they can’t learn.

 

There are so many other talents that someone can possess, especially outside of a classroom. I feel like learning disabilities can be looked at as an excuse for laziness or an unwillingness to learn. Reality couldn’t be farther from that statement. Given the right encouragement and learning skills, a student with a learning disability can thrive and make good progress.

 

I also think it’s important to get to know what learning style works best for you! When I was in high school, I learned about the VARK model. Essentially, it divides students into four types of learners: visual, auditory, reading/writing and kinesthetic.

 

1.) Visual

 

Visual learners prefer to take in information through a visual medium. This could be in charts, graphs or images.

 

2.)  Auditory

 

Auditory learners learn better from auditory forms. Saying things out loud and being able to hear instructions and information seems to help them organize their thoughts and understand the concepts at hand.

 

3.)  Reading/Writing

 

By reading and writing, these learners find their learning style through words. Text is powerful and creates a clear picture in their minds of the subject matter at hand.

 

4.)  Kinesthetic

 

Kinesthetic Learners enjoy a hands-on experience; by touching and engaging their bodies in their work, they are forming a deep connection to the subject matter that they are working with and are learning at a deeper level.

 

Figuring out your learning style is of utmost importance. Learning new skills like time management, organization and more can only strengthen the educational experience!

 

Personally, I try to remember what my teacher told me; I put all my can’ts in that pink box, and I try my best to focus on my abilities. Living with learning disabilities doesn’t have to be a hindrance. These experiences can leave students enriched and more in touch with how they learn and how their brains work. With the right tools, encouragement and guidance, a student with learning disabilities will learn in ways that leave them personally and academically as enriched as their other classmates.

 

Instead of focusing on your disabilities, always remember your abilities. You will surprise yourself with what you are capable of.

 

Sources Used

 

https://bau.edu/News/types-of-learning-styles/

 

https://www.foothillsacademy.org/community-services/parent-education/parent-articles/ld-educators-need-to-know

 

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/autism-learning-disabilities/learning-disabilities-and-disorders.htm

 

Leave your thoughts for Shirin in the comments below – better yet, start up a dialogue with the Low Entropy community in person, at a Conscious Connections meeting or online at our community site. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and YouTube to stay up-to-date with Low Entropy news!

Coping with High School

Alexandra Dadivas (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Adults often say that your years in high school are going to be the best years of your life. While in the end that might be true, it doesn’t mean that your whole time there will be full of sunshine and rainbows. Let’s be real – high school is hard. The constant juggling between maintaining your grades, keeping up with your social life and taking care of your mental health is bound to be straining for anyone experiencing it. As a person who is going through secondary school myself, I also had to learn the hard way of accepting the adventure and the struggles that come with it.

 

Growing up, we are always told of the importance of education. How it will take us far in life, should we succeed. But succeeding in high school is much easier said than done. Unlike elementary, secondary school is a place where you have to take care of yourself. Your teachers are not going to constantly check on you to see if you’re following along, there will be no designated studying times and you cannot simply disregard a class, for there will be consequences both then and in the long run. If, or rather, when, you find yourself in a subject where you are struggling to keep up with the relentless pace, it is your job to consult your teacher about it. If you have a big test coming up, it’s up to you to take the initiative and to make time to study for it efficiently. You must train yourself to focus in every single class, despite how uninteresting they may be. If you want to maintain your grades, you are the one who has to take the necessary actions to do that, because no one else will do it for you. The process of it may seem cruel and draining at first, but your accomplishments later on are going to feel so much sweeter, knowing that you achieved them all by yourself.

 

High school is where you will live out most of your teenage years. Me being a teenager, I can easily say that having a social life is one of the top priorities on a teen’s mind. We want to have fun, to make friends and explore the world with them. With its demanding schedule, school can definitely get in the way of that. Spending eight hours a day inside a cramped building and then spending the rest of your time vigorously studying leaves little wiggle room for you to do the things you want to do – the things you saw teenagers doing in movies. You may not be able to go to the beach or go shopping or go for midnight drives with your friends as much as you’d like, but it is not impossible to make lifelong friendships in just the simple setting of a classroom. While bonding over the difficulties of trigonometry may not seem ideal, it is those random surprise connections that make each class worthwhile.

 

High school is known for its mental strain. Every year, we are pushed to a breaking point. Grades drop, relationships are broken and we lose pieces of ourselves. Life comes at us wave after wave and we try so hard to stay afloat, but we just cannot seem to take a breath. It is terrifying. Unfortunately, this is an issue where even I could use some guidance, so I will only speak from experience and of what has helped me in the past. My advice is to find a tether. Find something that you can always rely on to bring you back. Find something that will keep you grounded, even when it feels like you have lost your footing. For me, my tether was reading. When reality became too much for me, I would escape into the worlds given to me through literature, and it would clear my head. Your tether does not have to be limited to a hobby like mine, though. It can be a person. These days, mental health is something that is much more openly discussed. Talk to someone. Someone you fully trust, because in all this mess of variables, you deserve a person who presents themselves as a constant. Be it a best friend or a parent, pick someone who will give you the warmth of their hugs and both of their shoulders to cry on. Your mind has been through many things, and you owe it to yourself to take care of it.

 

High school is a scary place. It is a maze that twists and turns and pulls the ground out from under you at any given time. It changes you, but you need to know that that is okay. You are supposed to change. You are supposed to make mistakes. You are supposed to shed your skin and grow into the person that you have been working so hard to become. You may not have taken the paths that you thought you were going to take, but you are still on a path. Granted, it is a wild one, but I have learned to embrace every second of it, and I hope you do too.

 

 

Hi! My name is Alexandra Dadivas and I’m going into Grade 11 with the goal of being in healthcare sciences. Avid reader of young adult fiction!

Educational Value

Grace Cheng (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

The first thing that comes to my mind when I think about education is knowledge. Education can be a powerful tool that gives us knowledge, skills, information and techniques that can expand our vision and outlook on life. Furthermore, education can help us to fight injustice, violence, corruption and other issues in our society.

 

Education provides us with knowledge of what is going on in our world. When we have education, we can develop the ability to think clearly, apply knowledge to the world and make complex moral determinations. It can give us a different perspective on the lookout of life. Therefore, education can play an important element in the evolution of our nation. Education should not be limited to books, but can be gained through life experience. There should be no end to continued education because at every stage of our lives we should be learning something new.

 

Without education, we would not be able to come up with and explore new ideas, which means we would not be able to develop our world, because without ideas, there would not be any creativity and no development of society. 

 

Education has intellectual value as well as economic value.  Since education promotes imagination, creativity and knowledge, it provides us with opportunities to get high-paying jobs. Education plays an important role in our modern and industrialized world. Because we live in a competitive world, we may need to have a good education to seek employment to make a comfortable living. Many modern conveniences were developed by people with significant knowledge of the world around them, which helped them to apply better solutions to problems.

 

The following are some of the benefits of having an education:

 

  1. A More Comfortable and Stable Life 

 

To earn a better living and live a more comfortable life, we can look to the value of education. Increased education often correlates with reduced poverty. When we can get better jobs, we are then able to meet our needs and raise our families.  If you want to have a happier and more stable life and be able to enjoy some of the good things that the world offers, education can help.

 

  1. The Ability to Read and Write

 

Since much important information is communicated in writing, we need to have the ability to read and write. Without basic education, we would not be able to read newspapers, signs, letters and books. We would depend on others to help us with our daily activities, such as banking and shopping, if we had low literacy.

 

  1. Better Communication Skills 

 

Education can help us to improve our communication skills, such as our speech, vocabulary, tone and body language. When we are more educated, we may feel more confident with public speaking.

 

  1. Increased Independence

 

Having an education can help you to become more financially independent. It can also give us the information we need to help us make wiser decisions in general. Being able to navigate life efficiently can reduce our reliance on others.

 

  1. Increased Confidence

 

Having a higher education can manifest in the way you communicate, and people may take your words more seriously. This may give you more confidence in expressing yourself and your opinions.

 

  1. Character Building

 

Education can help develop us into more mature people, with the ability to plan and make positive life decisions. It can also provide us with insights into living and teach us to learn from our life experiences. Education can make us more confident and increase our ability to think, analyze and judge. People can apply more ideas in developing their moral values and standards when they have more education, and, therefore, become more thoughtfully conscientious human beings.

 

  1. Understanding Life Responsibilities

 

With more information about the mechanisms of the world around them, educated people may have more awareness of their personal and social responsibilities. Having a higher education can teach people to think beyond their immediate interests and give them the ability to contribute to longer-term societal projects.

 

  1. Women’s Empowerment

 

When women are more educated, they can raise their voices against injustice. Women with education can make better decisions and are more likely to take charge of their lives.  Educated women can use the right to freedom of speech and expression in more complex ways. Education may be fundamental for women to achieve equality.

 

Are you convinced about the importance of having an education after reading the benefits I have listed above?

 

 

Grace has an accounting and finance background. She enjoys reading, writing, listening to music, watching movies and playing sports.

Why: The Importance of Curiosity

Anais Delépine, Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

Parents are sometimes annoyed with their children constantly asking “why” and being nosy about everything and anything. Is curiosity a bad thing? 

 

How could it be? It is a natural human trait! Curious people look for answers to the what, the why and the how. They explore, learn, question themselves, invent and, by this, make our world move forward!

 

Imagine a world without curiosity …

 

Every ocean, territory and everything humankind has discovered would be unknown. 

 

No technical breakthroughs and therefore no cars, no planes, no trip to Mars!

 

Every person on this planet would be living their lives without letting anything happen in them, living dull lives.

 

No connections between people, therefore no languages, no books, no cultures! 

 

See what a world with curiosity looks like …

 

Near the end of the 15th century, the Portuguese navigator Vasco da Gama discovered the sea route to Asia around Africa. By the start of the 19th century, the spice trade was well developed and all kinds of spices started enhancing the flavor of our food dishes … cinnamon, cardamom, cloves, pepper, nutmeg, saffron, turmeric!

 

In the late 1800s, Louis Pasteur, a French chemist and microbiologist, discovered the principles of vaccination. Thanks to vaccines, humankind was protected from many diseases!

 

Albert Einstein said, “I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious.” He is now famous for his theory of relativity, published in 1905, which revolutionized our understanding of space, time, gravity and the universe.

 

More recently, in 1989, Tim Berners-Lee, a British computer scientist, invented the World Wide Web which today facilitates millions of industries and lifestyles around the world.

 

Our choice is obvious: let’s all be more curious!

 

Leave your thoughts for Anais in the comments below – better yet, start up a dialogue with the Low Entropy community in person, at a Conscious Connections meeting or online at our community site. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and YouTube to stay up-to-date with Low Entropy news!

Toward Kindness

Christina Liao (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Kindness is such a fickle thing – it’s hard to come by, but it’s easy to give. It’s important to be kind to others, especially during a global pandemic. A simple act of kindness can brighten someone’s day, maybe even week. Giving somebody a compliment or telling them how good their outfit looks can change their day from bad to good. When someone is experiencing tough times, being understanding about their situation can help them through their difficulties. It’s important to be kind to everybody and, as Harry Styles would say, treat people with kindness. 

 

One way to increase the amount of kindness that we experience in our society is by eliminating discrimination. Being cruel to someone purely because of their race or sexuality is easier than being accepting of them, but we need to be accepting in order for our society to progress. We need to be aware of people in minority groups and not be discriminatory to them. We need to treat all people of colour and members of the LGBTQIA+ society with the same amount of respect that we would any other person. People aren’t born homophobic and racist, it’s taught. And just as easy as it is taught, it can also be unlearned if people are willing to take the necessary steps. 

 

Self-respect and self-love can also lead to more kindness. You need to love yourself for who you are before you start loving others. Accepting yourself for who you are – your faults, strengths and everything in between – is the first step to loving yourself. From there, you can learn to accept others for who they are as well. What’s most important is that you need to be confident in your own body. In order to do that, you need to stop worrying about what other people think of you. Just focus on what you think of yourself. Learn to see through the faults and reach the good parts. Everyone is unique; everyone has their own parts that shine and problems that they need to focus on. Loving every part of yourself is the first step to loving and being kind to everyone else. People are mean because they project their insecurities onto others, so start loving yourself. It’s not hard if you really want to change the way you treat others.

 

Once you love yourself and know how to treat yourself, you need to know how to treat others with equal respect. To do that, you should treat the people around you how you want to be treated. Be empathetic towards the situations of other people. Be respectful to people who are experiencing tough times and please, don’t discriminate. Tell someone that their shoes look nice, or tell them that they’re doing a good job at something they’re working on. Engage with them like how you would want to be engaged. Overall, just spread more positivity than negativity. If you don’t have anything kind to say, don’t say it. 

 

Being kind shouldn’t be a chore, nor should it be something that you don’t do already. Most people just need to understand how their actions can harm others. Everyone deserves to be treated with kindness and respect, everyone should be treated equally. Treating others equally starts with treating yourself fairly. Just remember to be kind to others, especially in tough times like now. Never forget to be kind and understanding toward other people. We shouldn’t need a daily reminder to treat people with kindness, but here’s one for you today. 

 

***

 

My name is Christina and I am currently a student at Simon Fraser University in the Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences. I love listening to music, reading, writing and, honestly, anything Marvel. In short, I’m a total nerd. I volunteer as a blog writer here at Low Entropy. 

Concerning a Fear of Brain Shrinkage

Ryan Haddad (he/him/his), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

One of the many unreasonable fears I had as a child concerned the unavoidable stage in my life where my brain would start to shrink. I never had a clear understanding of when this process would start, only that it was years ahead, too far to reason caring for it, but then again people always complained about how fast the years flew, so fast you had to convince yourself they actually happened. 

 

Here are the facts. The brain starts to shrink between the ages of thirty or forty. This isn’t an unusual repercussion or a sign of an unhealthy lifestyle; it’s as common as experiencing back pain when getting out of bed in the morning.

 

The human brain has also been growing increasingly smaller over the past tens of thousands of years, meaning you most likely have a smaller brain than what your oldest ancestors had to work with, and subsequently their ancestors as well. This is what Brian Hare, professor of evolutionary anthropology at Duke, labelled “survival of the friendliest.” Additionally, brain shrinkage doesn’t influence the lobes uniformly. The frontal lobe goes first. This means your memories, your emotions and your command of language are the first to be affected.

 

Here’s a more concrete illustration: the amount of brain mass that humans have lost over the past 20,000 years is the size of a modern-day certified and surprisingly resilient professional-grade tennis ball. So then I have to ask: when’s the last time you held a tennis ball in your hand? Its weight holds a whole new meaning now.

 

This all terrified me as a kid. I distinctly recall afternoons when our neighbor, who has since passed away but was then edging seventy, complained to my mother over the phone about how she was growing shorter every year. I used to internally scoff at that. I was having trouble sympathizing with her struggles because I was too busy pursuing a personal endeavor in trying to make my brain bigger than everyone else’s. I wanted mine to be the last to shrink.

 

I read novels, textbooks and entire restaurant menus. I was both mathematical and methodical about it, hoping my brain would continue growing exponentially, like a balloon that would take over the world. The harder I tried, the more I felt like my brain was forcing itself into a smaller ball in spite of my efforts. Everything I learned was forming a pressurized seal around my skull. My strategy was failing; my mind wasn’t expanding. Our neighbor kept calling and complaining about her height. She was losing a millimeter a day.

 

It was as a result of those constant calls at random and unpredictable hours of the day that we eventually invited our neighbor to the beach. She and I sat in the backseat while my mother drove. Stephen Fry was on the radio. He was reading from his memoir, and eventually landed on the line, “While on the subject of intelligence, I have to say that I have never found it an appealing quality in anyone.”  I found this unbelievable, and, forcibly trying to expand my brain in response to this ludicrousness, swiftly incurred a headache whereby it painfully shrunk to the size of a peanut. I turned to look at my neighbor. Her head was leaning out the window. She seemed to be enjoying the breeze. The sun was shining and the bright glare covered most of her head. It looked like she was glowing. I regretted that I couldn’t even remember her last name and was too shy to ask.

 

The beach was practically deserted when we arrived. My mother immediately dived in the water while our neighbor and I stayed behind, sitting on our towels. She seemed greatly preoccupied. I asked if she was afraid of the water. She said she didn’t know. It was her first time at the beach, any beach, ever. The sea, the real sea, was something new and alien to her. She’d only experienced it through photographs. I thought about that for a very long time. It seemed like a very special thing that, despite her body and brain shrinking simultaneously, her gazing at the sea for the first time was enough to fill her head with a child’s fascination. It was enough for her, so it had to be enough for me. I didn’t feel my brain shrinking while I was looking at her. My thoughts were as calm as the sea my mother was floating in.

 

***

Leave your stories in the comments below, or start up a dialogue with the Low Entropy community in person, at a Conscious Connections meeting or online at our community site. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and YouTube to stay up-to-date with Low Entropy news!

How It All Began

Fatima Malik (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

Just a few years ago, a lot was going wrong in my life. It was a very hopeless, dark time where nothing seemed to align with my happiest self. 

 

At the time, my happiness was dependent or conditional on my environment, the people that surrounded me, the things I had or the lack of things I wanted. Once I realized that happiness could not be conditional on the external, but needed to come from within, my life began to change.

 

It’s not easy to go from being anxious and in a pit of depression to being happy and changing everything around in a day or two. Realistically, it could take months or years, and for me, it took months to rewire my brain to find small moments of happiness, regardless of what was happening in my life.

 

More than anything, I wished for contentment. Not extreme joy or extreme ecstasy – I just wanted to be content with my life. But to go from unhappiness to happiness, there needed to be a drastic lifestyle change.

 

I was conditioned to having my happiness dependent on my external reality, and it was tough for me to step out of that conditioning. So I evolved around it. I began looking at things that were working well or gave me even small amounts of joy, and I concentrated on those more than what was going wrong. Even though the things going wrong were much more significant and had a much bigger impact on me, I managed to find small moments throughout my day that I would capitalize on.

 

For example, if I got a moment of 10 minutes outside, where I could hear the birds, the wind and the trees, I would try and take my shoes off and stand on the grass to connect with Earth (it’s funny, but connecting with a planet felt easier than connecting with other humans). I would consciously feel the existence of joy or bliss or just subtle happiness, and then try to continue that feeling throughout my day.

 

Every day, I began writing down what I was grateful for or things I appreciated in my life (including those 10 minutes I had with the birds and trees). This was followed by what I wished for, which always began with “contentment.”

 

These lists of gratitude and wishes began changing my outlook on life. They gave me the ability to find happiness inside me rather than the external. And that was the first step of my transformation.

 

My lifestyle change began when I went through a journey of self-love, self-respect and self-worth. I had to get rid of a lot of toxicity in the form of people, things, habits, jobs and social media, and rearrange my priorities. My drastic lifestyle change is a whole other topic that I’ll address in another post, but how it began was just by finding small moments to be happy and grateful for.

 

Fast forward to a few years later, and I am content with my life overall. I am happy most of the time and in control of my wellbeing. So now I’m on the other side, and there is some depression and anxiety, but there is no pit that I fall into. It’s all very manageable, and being human, I have my emotional ups and downs, but it is never a dark, hopeless place, and I’m closer to my happiest self than I’ve ever been before.

 

There is, of course, no end or destination to this journey of transformation. It is an ongoing, lifelong process where you and your life just keep getting better and better. It is an adventure I look forward to every day.

 

***

Leave your thoughts for Fatima in the comments below – better yet, start up a dialogue with the Low Entropy community in person, at a Conscious Connections meeting or online at our community site. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and YouTube to stay up-to-date with Low Entropy news!

With Hindsight

Jihu Lee (she/her/hers), Low Entropy Volunteer Writer

 

It is only normal that we cringe at our past selves. As human beings, we are not meant to live with a spotless moral slate, meaning we will never be one hundred percent satisfied with our past choices and actions. Perhaps you wish you could have treated your siblings with more kindness, or you regret saying hurtful things to your friend out of anger. What is considered a wrongdoing to another or to oneself may differ from person to person. But it is important that we master the balance between holding ourselves accountable for past choices and forgiving ourselves for not knowing better at the time. 

 

If you cringe at your old self, it means you have grown, because the acknowledgment of an unsatisfactory choice is key to change. The important step afterward is turning our regret into accountability and action. That way, regret becomes motivation for growth and discipline, rather than a price to pay. The only way to move forward and evolve is to actively work on ourselves, instead of letting our old choices constrain us and convince us that we can’t change, or that it’ll be too difficult to change. 

 

Growth is only possible through setbacks and mistakes. Many people even advocate for the idea that there are no such things as mistakes, but rather turning points for change. If we were to see only perfection in hindsight, that would exclude any possibility for our growth in the future. It is so important that we recognize setbacks as new chapters in our lives, so that we don’t punish ourselves for being imperfect, as if any person is free of flaws. 

 

By forgiving ourselves for choices we wish we could have made differently, we are freeing ourselves from the prison of rumination and guilt. When we are trapped in the past, we miss out on living in the present and lose the opportunity to make a difference for the future. Thus, forgiving ourselves is one of the optimal forms of self-care. I think one misconception regarding self-forgiveness is that, by refusing to punish ourselves, we are avoiding responsibility for our actions. There seems to be this prevailing idea that beating ourselves to the ground is the only acceptable form of repentance. However, self-punishment zooms our attention to the parts we find wrong about ourselves and is ultimately problem-oriented. Forgiveness and grace, on the other hand, accounts for both responsibility and our capacity to grow. 

 

If we can master the knowledge that better versions of ourselves arise from empathy towards our pasts, we can extend a similar understanding to those around us. If someone has hurt us, we could benefit by trusting that they will make amends in the future, whether or not it will directly involve us anymore. That doesn’t mean we have to come to terms with the other person’s actions and the impact they had on us. Forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same. Instead, by simply recognizing that others can have the potential to grow, we detach ourselves from the pain they caused and ultimately keep them from having power over us. 

 

Thus, not surprisingly, the level of respect we garner for ourselves affects the quality of our interpersonal relationships. It can strengthen boundaries and improve the circle of people we allow in our lives. We will also heighten our sense of empathy and become better at apologizing or taking responsibility for our actions. 

 

Be aware that not every action has the same degree of impact, therefore it becomes our responsibility to make amends accordingly. The bottom line is that it is the nature of humanity to see better in hindsight, but we have the power to use the lessons and newfound knowledge to make an impact on our future. On top of it all, kindness towards oneself is highly important in bringing about progress. Like the way a plant can’t grow without light or water, you can’t foster personal growth if you constantly deprive yourself of hope and encouragement. Self-punishment is not the rent you have to pay for being human in this world. So remember that the next time you advocate for kindness towards others, it should include you.

 

 

My name is Jihu, and I’m from Salt Lake City, Utah! I have been with Low Entropy since May 2021. Some of the things I love are reading, writing, listening to music, playing with my dogs and spending time with my sister!

The One Habit of Highly Successful People

Spoiler alert: it’s happiness. Low Entropy Volunteer Writer Christina Liao explains why.

 

Different people measure success in different ways. Harry Styles, a Grammy award-winning singer and former member of the band One Direction, says that “if you’re happy doing what you’re doing, then nobody can tell you you’re not successful.” That is, in a way, true. If one is not happy doing what they’re doing, then they cannot say that they’re successful without lying to themselves to some extent. It does not matter if that person is living in a mansion or a run-down cabin; they will feel success and at ease if they’re happy with the way that their life is going.

 

However, happiness is, in itself, a social construct. The stereotypical, fairy tale image of happiness for a girl is marrying a prince and living in a palace happily ever after. That’s what has been pushed onto young women who consume Disney content for decades, from the original Cinderella movie in 1950 to Tangled, released in 2010. Only in 2014’s Frozen was this narrative shifted. In that story, Anna does not find happiness with a prince, but with an ordinary man living an ordinary life after they ended up forming an unlikely friendship.  

 

On the subject of Disney movies, it seems that they’re seemingly changing what their version of a happy ending is. We see this in Frozen, as mentioned above, and the Pixar movies Inside Out and Coco. The narratives of these kinds of movies are shifting because the views of our society as a whole are changing. A happy ending to young people no longer means marrying into royalty and a kiss to seal the day. A happy ending means different things for different people and cultures, whether it’s one’s family accepting them for who they are or understanding the value of friendship and family. 

 

As history progresses, our society and its values tell you what being successful means. Its definition is constantly shifting: maybe it’s owning a farm that profits, working a high-paying job or having a university degree. However, what really defines “success”? A person like Styles would say that doing what makes you happy means that you’re successful. Someone else might say that becoming a CEO of a highly lucrative company makes you successful. It’s seen differently by different people because, like happiness, success is also a social construct. There is no true definition of “success,” only what people across history have coined it to be. 

 

Happiness, like success, is similar in the way that it has no singular meaning. If a person is content with their life, then they’re happy with it. They would not feel the pull to become more successful if they were already satisfied with their life. There’s no “true” meaning of success because as long as a person is happy with the structure of their life, then they are successful in their own eyes. It’s only one’s own eyes that matter, because they are the author and primary audience of their life. 

 

Everyone deserves success. Everyone deserves happiness. Whatever life throws at somebody, sometimes they forget the simplicity of finding things in their life that makes them happy. At the end of the day, Styles was right in saying that a person is successful if they’re happy with what they’re doing. Success, after all, is a social construct that has no true meaning. Only with happiness is someone successful, so do what makes you happy.

 

What are your paths to success? Let us know in the comments below or on any of our social media platforms!